Common Mistakes That Will Ruin Your Relationships
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- Опубліковано 13 лип 2024
- Link to 3 ways to start a conversation video: goo.gl/a58xcW
The BIGGEST Mistake People Make In Dating
There is one thing that ruins more relationships than any others. And while the examples I give are from my own life, this is true for men and women, straight, gay, it doesn't matter.
That thing is neediness. It often looks like obsessiveness, meaning you start imagining what it would be be boyfriend and girlfriend after one encounter, discussing kid names, giving larges gifts, talking to them about your future together in early dates, or when you spend all day thinking about why they didn’t get back to that text you sent. And it’s repulsive. And it’s the biggest thing that messes it up right after you meet someone you really like.
And I want to give you three simple things and one harder thing that you can do to fight neediness - because if you’ve got it, it can kill a relationship before it begins. Trust me, I’ve experienced it plenty of times. Keep in mind this specific advice is for early in a relationship
0:51 Trying to contact them every single day
2:37 Pleading when they can't meet up
3:55 Changing your schedule to fit theirs
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Dating is such a mess. Humans are weird animals.
yeah black panda
i think your autocorrect spell it wrong , it`s *girls
Why do you believe dating is a mess?
It's a market on demand.. and you need to create demand.. by that i mean that being needy prove to the other person that they can have you easily. and that is what turn off human. human want the limited edition, they want to be the only one to have it. they want to have it the hard way. but yeah, still a mess don't bother with that.
@@v1nce529 you speak true words, mate. I believe one core issue is that most of us do not accept the reality of dating being a business. Yes, there is emotion involved and yes, we - as loving individuals - do not want to be seen as guided by the interaction of variables like intellectual/emotional/physical investment in another human being. However, if we do not accept that there are principles and variables we are very likely to have many tough moments in our dating life that could have been avoided by rational anticipation...
How did our ancestors even get together and mated without advice from youtube???!!!!
izeizei 😂
The past is a very different, and harsher, time. Having harmonious relationships isn’t necessary to procreate, after all. The ones who could do it (including, sadly, such people as rapists - whether it’s a classic Genghis Khan type or just obligations in a male-dominated society) did it, and everyone else is shit outta luck.
Lucky for us, that kind of thing isn’t so prevalent anymore!
Cause people didn’t date. It was about procreation and building families, not “love”
Fewer options, more proximity, shorter lifespans, and more people in your business like your parents. Probably a similar % of males never procreated or had a mate though.
Maybe their life wasn't ruined by social media..
I actually hate that dating game with a passion. My boyfriend texted me the day after we met and I appreciated it. He wanted to talk to me and so he did. He didn't play games. I liked his honesty and straight forwardness. He invited me to go eat something, I couldn't that day, so I told him "What about monday? I'm free on monday." We texted everyday until we met again because we wanted to speak to each other.
Raphanne wait so you’re saying there wasn’t any mindgames? Or a 1 week period where one of u pretends to not be interested? (Playing hard to get) no deception or manipulation? WHAT IS HAPPENING.
If only if it were that simple lol
@@d0m3ll0tt4 It is that simple with the right person, if there's too many variables and mind games, she most certainly not the one you should be with.
UNLESS you just wanna tap her.
the video says that if someone cancels plans don't immediately try to make new ones give it some time first.
That's the way it should be! It depends on your circumstances. If you're both into each other keeping in contact frequently is perfectly fine. Who made up all these 'dating' rules anyway?
You're telling me that "Saturdays are for the boys" is actually a good dating strategy?
Yes
Hell uea
Unless she asks you to be exclusive with her or she’s already your gf/wife, you focus on hanging out with your boys first. Who will be there for you in case she breaks up with you? The boys
You also need to set that precedent. Getting together with a girl who will prevent you from seeing your friends is VERY BAD. That will continue forever, and it's very possessive and emotionally abusive. Stay away from that kind of girl. And the best way to smoke out that attribute in women is to insist there is time set aside for "guys' nights" right away.
If she starts acting like your friends are a problem that needs to be fixed, you can confront it by asking if she would like it if you said she couldn't hang out with her female friends. That undercuts the moral high ground and forces some level of empathy, and if she still has a problem, it is probably time to get out of there. If you need motivation to get out, just take a look at any guys you might know whose wives or girlfriends have socially isolated them, look how afraid they are to go against her. You don't want that in your life.
LMAOOOO
Ahh screw it! This business is way too complicated than I thought. I'll just get a dog or something.
Haha, good news is you can be as needy as you like with dogs and they'll still love you ;-)
True. They live for that stuff.
Don't give up. Spend time learning.
In fact, what he mentions here is bigger than a lot of other things. Although, the crux of it is deeper than plainly making time/not making time for other people.
You have to basically internally put yourself first, and really put that image out. Drill that concept into your brain. You come first.
Rishav Siddhanta ESSEC
or a pillow
Why make someone your priority when you're just an option.
Valuing your time is the best thing.
Preach
"Nobody will ever make you a priority, until you learn to see, and treat yourself as one, once you succeed at that, you can go get whoever you want, if they do not want you, they do not deserve you, the trick is knowing that deep down, they want you badly, they just do not always realize it yet"
-Me, the ONLY God
There’re just an option too……
@@e.thomas2475 right? everyone is just an option LOL. not the correct train of thought
@@Runny117 Why?
What I said is objectively true from a biological and social standpoint.
When a person mistreats service staff on a date, remember that they are on their best behavior. Once they are sure of you, they will treat you much worse.
rest assurred, or bad-mouths their 'friends' to boost 'this is your lucky day because you met me!!!"
Or their parents.... Ouch!
This is mentioned a lot, I cannot beleive it is that common :(
@@M2U0 It's common!
@@Anonymous-pr3gr Definitely...I've witnessed it. Same behavior towards their mother and me.
........ why didn't I see this video when it came out....... why ....... damn.
I feel you. Like ONI said, we can only learn and keep moving forward.
Because it would have ended for other reasons. You're better without her. You'll be fine, just live and learn.
lol :)
Agreed
Damn...
Number one mistake people make in dating is dating
dating 2D waifus is da best, though,
Crow Cullom eat vegetables
Anon Amos stay a virgin
doge fm eat half the cake or a salad lol
eyup
Challenge: Don't feel needy when being single for years at a time
Alternate challenge: Don't show that you feel hungry after not eating for 5 days
After 5 days you actually would not feel hungry. After about 3 hunger pains go away and your body runs on stored fat.
If you've been single a year and you've spent that time investing in yourself instead of trying to find someone, then you would not be needy either.
challenge 1 complete. so far on year 2. second challenge pending. though I have gone 2 days without fluids. I was stoic about it... and then I passed out in class. woke up a few hours later at the local clinic. took some convincing not to go to the hospital.
Pretty big difference here. You need food to live. You don’t need a gf. You can want one sure, but that’s why needy is a word and wanty isn’t
@@-fakebirds-6792 fun fact: sexual desire considered as basic as for food, drink or sleep. Not by me, by biologists.
@@-fakebirds-6792 wow u didnt learn basic facts
Flirting is fun and being in a romantic relationship is also fun....
The initial dating phase though...that's boring.
I wish i could avoid it entirely.
Im suffering on those same drugs rn man :(
I tried your advice, my life's going great! I take frequent breaks from my wife and I ONLY invite my kids over to my place every couple of weeks!
JogoLord Uh huh. is her name Karen?
😂😂😂
I definitely should have seen this video a couple weeks ago.
TheRealBBC I agree! Hahahaha
TheRealBBC same haha
Lol, I feel you man.
same goes with messages if you look through your messages and notice you are the one engaging and usually the one finishing, slow down the pace the or the same phenomenon is going to happen
learned it the hard way
Yoann Morais Thanks for the tips.
You make an effort and you are too needy. You take a step back, and you are not making enough effort.
Proper chemistry. Since people are different.
QShaque exactly!!! 👏🏿 Ridiculous games! If I like you yes I want to see you! Geez!
Dating games
@@Nat0528 not games, basic human psycology. Although some people do play games, what the video is describing its not games.
@@LuisSoto-fw3if can you elaborate?
Dating gets a lot harder when you work full-time, it's like just finding time to meet up is this grand production. Especially if you and your date have different work schedules. Kinda forces me not to be super needy.
Neediness destroyed my last relationship. I’m in a fresh, new relationship now and already I feel the symptoms of neediness slowly seeping back in. I’m battling from the inside, against myself, so I need to win and not ruin this relationship like I had my last
Touie G me too. I liked this girl a lot in backed in freshman year in college. We had the strongest connection but once I started making time for her and doing so much for her, she backed out so quickly that it took me over a year of scratching my head and heartbreak to get over it.
YEET DA yeet needless to say, I’ve learnt a lot from that last relationship. I’m making sure I don’t make those same mistakes in this one that destroyed my last one. There’s a good quote, “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” and I’m lucky enough to have a girl now who I can tell really cares about me
@@touieg1211 absence also allows girls to cheat
Jakub Rogacz this can be true. I like to think that if she cheats it’s her loss 😎
@@touieg1211 haaha if you can detect that then yes. I mean let her chase new boy toy. Just remind him she did have biyfriend when she slept with him and tell him he is otherwise free to treat her to all her expensive stuff in your place no problem. Then wish him good luck. If that doesnt get a guy to rethink if he should associate with radioactive women nothing will.
Want Her But Don't Need Her...
totally.
Exactly.
yes, I've started with my network. three girls are attempting to force themselves on me. bracing myself😂
it's about having abundance
Well said mate
This is why I'm single, people play too many games. It's like "oh, i like you, but I can't try too hard to like you or else I'll start NOT liking you. So i'm gonna casually like you, while saying I'm "seriously pursuing", and see you once every 1-2 weeks. That cool?"
Fuck that. Why can't people just be honest and real? I don't play games. If i like you, I'll want to hang out with you, plain and simple. I'm not saying I want to see said person every day of the week, but I have enough free time for at least 1-2 times a week and so should the other person. If you don't want to see me that often, you clearly don't give a shit and you just want to casually "see where this goes", and I ain't dealing with it. Fuck outta here with that.
Wolfgang Romine Unfortunately women are wired to seek the best possible mate for them and by giving you all of their time they run the risk of not having other options. in all honesty the best relationships start slow and progress to deep connections if done with the right partner.
Its because people don't want to be perceived as simple and try to blur lines to make things that are, relatively ordinary, complex
So many more interesting things to do with my time is what I think about those games.
It's not games, it's evolution at work trying to match a couple that will have the best success for survival of their offspring. I can't help but to put things in scientific terms but once you forget all the false information you've learned from friends and family and just think of human survival and offspring... caveman days and it will work every time. Most women are instinctively programmed to find stability, success and self respect attractive. Why? because it gives better chances for their offspring to survive. If you're a man trying to attract women, the worst thing you can do is put less focus on yourself and more focus on them. What this tells your partner is that you don't have your shit together thinking you can run a family. Naturally, you will be less attractive. You may think it makes no sense because you're showering them with all this attention and gifts and you have PLANS to be successful and run your own business... but you're going nowhere! Again, survival of offspring is the key. Focus on your career, focus on your health, obtain assets and increase your net worth. Purchase property, can you imagine being a single male who is successful, healthy and owns their own home? Can there be anything more attractive to women than that? I'm leaving out personality and the subtleties that sometimes matter but matter much less when you have your shit together. Of course this doesn't apply to grade schoolers so don't be a smartass by saying how you're supposed to have a home at age 15. I'm referring to men in late 20's and older.
Wolfgang Romine I hate mix signals.
this guy literally mentioned all the reasons my previous relationship failed, wow
Just remember people, THEY’RE PEOPLE TOO with their own lives, wants, and dreams. Don’t fall into the idea that dating is a game, it’s an extension of friendship and wanting to further develop a relationship with someone you care about. This video is talking about how not give into the excitement that dating brings and accidentally scare that special person off, that is all. Hope you all have a wonderful day!
As a person with a bachelor's degree in Psychology, I must say you cover more useful material in this channel, than all my 4 years spent in my University! Congratulations, happy to subscribe!
I initially was interested in Psychology but got bored and switched to Sociology, although there was a psyc class about dating and romantic relations that I was interested in but never took it.
Dude, stop describing my life on the internet
LOL
Based on REAL personal experience, When you need the person you Love the most, that's when they'll abandon you.
So I'll give you that, neediness DOES ruin relationships.
Really
Bro don’t say that cause imma just give up rn
This really opened my eyes thanks. I'm 3 months into my relationship and feel like I'm ALWAYS waiting for her to be free rather than the other way around.
I'm one month into my first relationship (17) and I'm fairly certain I'm playing all the right cards, but maby there is something that I need to add or change because lately I've been feeling kinda down and lost and miss her even though I see her almost every day (through school)... is that normal?
Don't be needy. Noted. Period
you're kind of being rude
Some people needed to hear what comes across as being needy specifically. I guess this is why CoC has 568k more subs than you m8
Mikae Gildon Dont be short don't be ugly don't be broke. There you go.
***** thanks
You can be all of those, just gotta find a match that also fits the description.
I got really mad and dumped the guy I was dating because he flaked out on me two weekends in a row and didn't ask to see me during the week. At first, I thought I overreacted and made a huge mistake. Then, when I called him to ask if there was anything I could do to repair the damage, we had a conversation that revealed his total emotional unavailability. He was playing games because he didn't know what he wanted(while claiming to know what he wanted). So, sometimes, you should just dump them. Flakiness is not okay just as neediness is not okay.
Thanks for sharing that :)
Heather Muffins haha so he was just fishing for your neediness?
@@thinkingofaname6233 hahahahahaha dude you're a secret unlocker
I also did the same thing
A girl has flaked me and she didn't texted or any communication that she can't make it until a day later. I waited for an hour because I am a patient and understanding man. I even texted her if she is okay and if she needed to reschedule but no reply at all until a day later. She broke my heart.
I see people make the opposite of these “mistakes”. People are competing to show less interest and flaky. Being neediness is not a mistake. Being flaky is. Instead of encouraging people not to be needy, you should encourage people to be genuine and invest in a relationship.
Fish Canon, the issue with this man is that we’re not gonna change all of society. Oftentimes, for example in my own case, a man was what would be called a “nice guy”, looking to genuinely love one girl and give her the world just like in the Disney movies. However after constantly being taken advantage of, friend zoned, left on read, and seemingly unable to pull girls, they take a step back and ask “why am I not getting the girls?” And they see the alphas, the “bad boys”, the jerks the assholes etc, and they’re the ones getting all the girls. And we, especially girls, ask, why are dudes players? Because that’s how we have to be to get girls
I think there’re boundaries between neediness and showing genuine interest. I am myself is guilty of being needy sometimes and I totally understand that it drives people away, not just when you first met someone, but in long term relationships or marriage too. I experienced this when my ex girl friend used to be so needy, I kinda got tired and wanted to have my own space and wanted to break up, but when she changed, I became the one who was needy to her and wanted her attention and tried to work for that
Being flaky is just as bad as being needy. It's really just another way of expressing neediness.
To me the balancing point is: keep your word and be available, but also make sure you're not ALWAYS available. If you've gone out three Saturdays in a row with the same girl, maybe you should deliberately make plans to go out with your guy friends on the next Saturday and skip that weekend with your girl or take her for a more casual date like an ice cream just to keep the contact.
Don't be an accomplice in someone else taking you for granted.
I think both extremes are bad... Just because one is "warm" doesn't mean that is better... If you need someone then you are most likely to have emotional problems, the same applies to being flaky.
I think the best dating advice i have got is that you have to focus on yourself BUT knowing that the other person is a person. Being able to express things of your persona that you actually value will set yourself in an another level. And if the person rejects you, it's not a grat problem as it may feel.
@@csooov9354 God is a funny guy. Yeah... Girls are attracted to "bad guys". Because they project something important, and cristal clear. Force.
As i said. The "bad guys" project Force. That doesn't mean that they are strong (in the every sense of the word). If you are strong... I mean REALLY strong (emotionally, physically, mentally...) Then you don't have to adopt the BS of the "coaches" or "gurus" of seduction.
In other words, *if you are strong you don't have to pretend that you are a bad guy.*
Oh, apparently this one I got right. Im so un-needy that girls never ever suspect I'm interested in them. Even if they show some signs of interest in me I still keep it hidden as hard as I can. No one penetrated this sneakiness so far.
about as stealthy as a ghost ninja. basically me throughout my 1 year of college
Дмитрий Веселов gg man, gg.
I've seen you in another comment section before I don't know where but we talked it's just very unlikely that I would find the same person in two different comment sections under two completely different videos
In my experience if you don't show interest back they start to hate you. Then they either start avoiding you or their goal becomes to hurt you back.
@@Incognito2803 Girls are usually the choosers, so having an unreciprocated interest hurts them on an unfathomable level; while a boy would be kinda used to it
My rule of thumb: The more you have to play a game, the less the prize is worth,
Anos Anosn I disagree, some women are actually worth fighting for because of their intellect, goodness modesty etc. But what I can't stand is the pretty little bitches who think they all that, who are not really worth the effort.
***** The point of the rule is that women who are good usually don't entertain games. :P
Smart man. Outside of rom-coms, jumping through hoops is always a bad idea. Once a woman sees you behaving like that she will inevitably lose respect for you.
you miss his point; the cool women don't play those games..if youre cool too, you wont have to fight
yes, i much prefer women who play less, or even no games. its hard to find one who plays zero games at all tho. almost all of them play at least a few games. just find one who doesnt play that many. someone who doesnt care if you talk every day or not. cuz i end up talking a lot. almost always more than whoever im with, n i tell them i make no excuses for it. if i have something to say im gonna say it. if you dont like it, too bad.
Good, thought-provoking video. However, the lesson I learn from it is that people are just not worth investing in, a mindset I don't agree with. I don't think you were WRONG for trying to contact that girl every single day. It's what you wanted to do. Do what you want. If the girl lost interest, that doesn't mean you made the wrong decision. Maybe the problem was her.
Secondly, being disappointed when someone can't meet up isn't necessarily a flaw. Disappointment means you actually care, that time spent together actually means something to you. If you're indifferent to whether someone is able to meet up with you or not, then you don't need to hang with that person.
Depends on how far you got. At get to know stage its idiotic to dive deep. Problem i think is people want to date as fast as they eat and work but biology rebels.
I remember that several of the laws of power state to avoid putting too much trust in friend, committing to one person and to avoid investing too much in a person.. regarding today we should definitely keep in check how much we invest and do for a person because most likely you will either be disregarded and ignored or taken for granted. People have a tendency to underestimate anything that comes at no cost.. like your time or effort. It’s really not possible for people to respect or value you any more than you respect or value yourself.
The problem is that in some strange way, in my experience, I never get intimate with girls that I show to much interest in to early. I hate it but that is just how it is.
@@csooov9354 Yes, this is reality.
I think if you contact someone every day when they aren't answering back that almost start to look a bit stalkerish (even worse if you message multiple times before they answer back). If they are talking back (in a way they're not trying to reject you, or seem completely uninterested) I cant really see whats wrong with it. The case in this video maybe sounded a bit fussy when I think of it.
loving is like fishing. you bait it. you time it. you let it tire itself out. THEN YOU REEL IT. and you've got it.
And then you make some fine human sushi amiright
Great analogy.
I'm gunna need a bigger boat.
Lol that’s funny true
Charlie, I got to give it to you man. Every time I watch one of your videos I really gain I perspective on how things go in a social setting. I'm confident but that was over time and on my own. Now when I watch your video I'm very aware of my actions and of how things go when I'm communicating with another person. Keep up the good work man! You change lives!
No contacting them everyday? But I have to keep snapchat fire!
Ha, I didn't factor snapchat into the equation here - I'm a different generation
critic37509 slidein
😂
critic37509 my exact thought lol
critic37509 yea that's why I don't have snapchat
the things about making plans doesn't work in my life. I literally do NOTHING else than watching youtube, and i am beyond happy when a friend calls me to hang out.
I am needy because i really need someone to talk to, that is the problem with me.
The second i start playing hard to get i won't get any messages for anyone for months.
That is too long for me to be isolated like that.
I drop what i'm doing no matter how important it is just for a few hours with a friend.
Joe Wiik Then, respectfully, I suggest you broaden your horizons, find other things in life that can give you some joy or fulfilment, like music or church or something! The way I look at it happiness is not something you can get from people or material things.
Joe Wiik yea me too
Joe Wiik Yeah, find other activities to take up your spare time.
learn how to play the organ, it will take a lot of time
Joe Wiik I understand you all too well. My best friend goes through the same thing. I tell him over and over again to go for a walk with his dog, girls can't resist dogs and that will break the ice for someone to come talk to him, but of course he will not do it.
Sometimes we can create in our minds many barriers just to avoid getting us out of our comfort zone. But it really doesn't require much to meet new people when you live in an overpopulated world.
I am brazilian and my boyfriend is norwegian. It happened over Tinder...
of course we were both set to find an SO, but you can use the same path for friends too...
You can give it a go to learning a new language, improving a cooking skill, getting a green thumb, learning a new instrument. All of this can only make you more interesting, knowledgeable, and get you to have more peers. And by turn get you out of the house and busier.
Hope you manage that :)
Honestly the girl who had plans with her family but then suddenly was able to hang out once you said you were busy on Wednesday doesn't sound like the kind of person anyone should be dating.
Just sort of seemed like she was trying to make you bend to her schedule until you stood your ground. I've noticed those kind of people will never put in as much effort into maintaining a relationship as you - it always needs to be as convenient as possible for them but they expect you to be able to do whatever. And this is not just in romantic relationships but with friends too. It shows they don't respect you and I just don't deal with those kinds of people anymore.
1) Don't contact them every day.
2) Respect it when they say no. Don't be like "C'mon, it'll be fun!"
3) Don't change your schedule to fit hers.
1) why not if you have something to talk about talk. If not don't.
2) Some people don't mind being pushed
3) Only if you don't think they are reliable
@@MylesKillis His points, not mine. Make a comment of your own and, if you're lucky, he or someone else will answer.
My own take would be:
1) You'll bond more if you just meet physically and talk about those same things - humans have evolved to do it that way anyway, and misinterpretation will happen less often. Getting a meet-up can only happen so and so often but I still think it's a good idea.
Also she might just be answering every day to be nice - I've seen before - giving he a few days of rest now and then will make it feel less like a chore to talk to you.
The real exception here is if *she* starts a conversation with you every day.
2) That amount of people are probably very few, otherwise he'd have mentioned it.
3) I think too many of us have a tendency to think she is when she's not. And we just think so because we after all have a crush on her. You know your time isn't being taken for granted if she knows that you have plans that both can and will be prioritised above hers if those plans were there first.
@@MylesKillis Damn you be you, he just pointed out the ones in the video.
If she doesn´t want you every day in her life maybe she is the wrong choice. So contacting every day is okey, just don´t overwhelm her.
@@Mars-1995 I think you are exaggerating.
what if someone is the exact opposite of needy, distant basically a hermit. would like to see a video about that
That is a good idea for a video. But don't think that being introverted is a bad thing it just means you are thinking about a lot of stuff that interest you. The trick is to find the right balance with being extroverted and communicating with other people. The best way for that is taking an interest in them. Try looking up a few books on that topic: How to make friends and influence people and The 42 laws of power. I hope that helps.
Yes this helps and thank you for suggesting those books I just bought them hopefully they help,
If someone really is the opposite of needy (as opposed to just not needy, or a little bit introverted) to the point of being distant, then I think if it's always been that way/in the early stages of the relationship that they're not very excited about it and at best you are an "option" or a fallback strategy, while if it didn't used to be that way but it has become so recently in a more developed relationship then chances are they are either losing interest (in the case of a girl) or cheating on you (in the case of a guy). I would say with a good match in a good relationship you only ever need worry about being too needy, if you're worried things are naturally too distant, my guess is that you're simply not right for each other. This is assuming, of course, that it's a kind of distant that makes either of you feel insecure; there are rare couples that just have a naturally distant equilibrium they are both happy with, but this is EXTREMELY rare (I've only ever seen it in relationships where they started dating very, very young).
Mayro Dneir yeah I'm talking about someone who's extremely introverted, doesn't like going out much, doesn't talk much, hates talking on the phone but doesnt mind txting if its not to often/all day, if someone comes into the room they will basically stop talking, there still like playful they just won't want to talk. also sometimes they have a tendency to just drop off the face of the earth for like a week or 2 won't answer phone or texts besides sometimes good morning ones
me 100% omg. I have a fear of appearing too needy and it just comes across as uninterested when it's actually the complete opposite.
So listen ppl, i have a lot of experience with women and im old enough to say to you. Stop giving a fuck.
Dont try to control what to feel, or what to want.
If you want to do something, do it.
Anxieties are build on overthinking and doing stuff that this guy is telling you not to do.
If you do what your hearts tell you, and she dont want you anymore, so fuck it.
There will be someone who love everything about you.
Just because this guy is good looking doesn't mean he is right.
So 7 years ago i decided to call this girl more often after our first date, she loved it so much, now we are married ppl and have been talking everyday since then.
Be yourself
When you begin dating someone both of you are doing their best to put their best selves forward. So, if you see something that concerns you, don't ignore it. It's huge and it's not going away.
I love how clear and elaborate you are! And I can not forget inspiring (: you encourage in a way that's practical and understanding and I really Iove that. Keep it up!
Most people fall in need, not in love; that's probably why they don't prioritize it more.
Just told a girl i cant see her Wednesday cause "i have to tip over wheelbarrells incase it rains"
I can't because it is Wednesday, my dudes
Dannybhoy1 if I was a girl this comment would get me wetter than an untipped wheelbarrow during storm season.
Now thats a hardworking man
Hehehe
@@wad316 ahhhhhhhaahhahahhaaaaaaaaaAaaAAAAAA
Dang dude! Such good advice man! There isn't really enough good information and advice out there on UA-cam or the internet, but you're a hidden gold mine. Keep it up dude
I can say from experience that this is one of the most valuable dating advice videos on the platform today. Everyone needs to watch this, even those of us who have already made and learned from these mistakes because it's a good reminder
This would be great advice if I ever got a date which is never
If it's still the case, then go backwards and learn how to be more popular. I say this because I was the same. :D
@@kristofkovacsRisy and how do you get more popular ?
Aww bro just get out there and talk to people even though it feels awkward
I am always so invested in people I start talking to and get needy easily, and I do the thing you said, I text then keep checking and wondering where the person is. I wish I wasn't like that, but I can't stop it
Like he said fill your time with stuff you like
Damn! I do the same!😂
I LOVE your videos so much , you explain things so clearly and simple, straight to the point ! Keep it up :)
I needed this advice 1 year ago. My last relationship woulnd't have gone to shit otherwise. I was wayyyy too needy and wanted attention all the time.
Hey, I was wondering can you make a video on how to "break free" from a specific roll in a social circle? Like being the shy one who barely talks or the one who talks too much.
Kajkajn Lols Yess !!!!
I support the idea, it'd be really helpful!
But I like being the Kenny of the group...
Hey well, if you're the shy one in the group people will reconize you that way, the question is what role do you which to play in your social group?
Find a different social group. You get a fresh slate. That way you can see if you're actually more than your role in you previous group or you need to work on yourself more.
It'll also make it easier to develop skills in a different social role and you'll be able to bring it back into the social group you want to change roles in.
The biggest mistake I made was taking a date to Comet Ping Ping for pizza.
Travis Kraft that could work out great with the right person
Funaru Yeah, if I were with Hillary Clinton or her staff.
looks like 15 people at least got the reference :D
was she 7?
Hahaha. Top kek!! 90% of people will not get this joke on here
This hit close to home because my last relationship failed due to me being too needy. Or rather, I thought that if I keep meeting with her as often as possible, she will realise how much she means to me. Unfortunately, she probably felt like I was smothering her and didn't tell me. This is definitely a good life lesson.
Very solid advice! Neediness shows up in a lot of ways and these are good examples. A lot of times we don't realize how we are being needy because the habits started a long time ago - when we were kids even - and feel normal now. The work is to be willing to get honest and dig for the ways we are being needy that aren't a good look and we don't want to admit to. If you need motivation to dig, remember that neediness is a form a manipulation. No bueno.
I remember when I was a needy bitch.. thanks for the Vid!👊
abez #smackthatbitch
A needy bitch just broke up with me I have lot of things to do and always have to adjust to her
Time si I say no more. That was the end, I'm better alone really.
I wish this was explained to me years ago, it has always been my pitfall and has caused me far too much trouble. Somehow the only girl I truly dated is now my wife of almost eight years and we have a son. I was very fortunate I think. And yeah, she's the best.
Had a Grade school teacher 'Capobianco', (Head White, in Italian). We called him 'Sam' or 'Capo' at recess. Samuel Whitehead...get your wife and son to call you 'Capo'. Greetings from Canada...got to go feed my polar bear!
I'm in oh with you brother! I love how you give and persuade without selling: instead "pushing me" to go towards your suggestions, "pull" me more into liking and trusting you and your adviced. I just became your client today. Congrats ;-)
you are the only dating coach on here that is to the point and states the facts! your channel is very helpful thank you
More dating advice plz
Agreed
Check out JasonCapitalDating, he's incomparable
Tip #0 : don't ever use word date again. You are not going on a date with a girl, you are meeting with her, 'hanging out'. The word date puts too much pressure o her and on you as well,.. plus it reveals your intentions straightaway, which kills all the curiousity.
Go out as a friend and escalate your realtionship by touching her and having fun. Believe me, it is 10 times less awkward if both of you have 'this is not a date' mentality.
Sexy Beast Nope, don't do that. I've had it happen to me and it's even more annoying to figure out whether it's a date or not. The guy spent too long getting to the point and I ended up losing interest. I say call it a date and be clear with your intentions.
Booper doop shoop da woop because you don't know how to escalate.
If you know what you are doing she will immediately pick up the signs but still have doze of wondering whether you truely like her or not = curiosity
Lol, and how is that going on for you?unecessarly putting pressure on her to either accept or reject you in that moment.. plus all the curiosity is gone. And makes you look like a low value (desperate) man if you do it very early in interaction.
I am not saying it's impossible to do it if you ask her for a date, but it's way more comfortable and easier for you and for her.
Just learn how to escalate
dude!!! great video, u always have a way of cheering me up, keep up the good work bro!
how any couple ever has been established, i will never know.
I should make a video about this!
Grog explain:
1. Find cave
2. Find or make big club made of heavy
3. Find women, club women and drag them into cave for sexy time
4. If woman dead, go find new woman, if woman safe, go find additional woman, rinse and repeat
Moral: Less thought, more action, it worked for Grog, and it will work for you
Love the examples you use and love the analysis after each one . Glad I found you!
~ Glad to have you, welcome onboard :-)
Wise beyond your years. Good insights.
Why haven't you made this video sooner? Lol
Kriscenarios would have helped me two months ago...
This is basic knowledge, pickup has stated this yeeeeeeears ago.
Kriscenarios he was busy Watching tv with a friend
He was watching romantic comedies where the man does everything for a woman until she falls in love with him.
Man... I'm 35 and didn't have the healthiest childhood but I feel like I've overcome a lot through experience. A lot of your videos, I think "wow, I remember that feeling, I'm glad I know better now." This one hit me. It's something I've recognized as a flaw in myself but never known how to understand the root and you nailed it. I just started watching your videos tonight and I'll binge them as I do. All of your videos are helpful but this one struck a chord. This blends into integrity... stick to your plans even if they are just plans you made with yourself. Your videos, I'm building a playlist for. I tend to shy away from self help because the authors tend to make themsleves an authority on everything and promise an infallible system for navigating the jungle of social interaction. You are so approachable because your word isn't final you're just providing tools and relatable experiences that got you there. I'm a fan sir. Keep this up.
~ Thank you for the kind words, Malcolm! Appreciate the support. :-)
Thanks for the advice, your videos have helped me do a lot of thinking.
Could've used this a month ago. Oh, well, fml. Better luck next time.
Dreadnought every time for me in the last year has been "better luck next time" so don't worry about it you're not alone
Same thing for me, except it was last week.
Dreadnought yeah things would be A LOT better for me if I'd watched this five weeks ago 😓😞
good luck bro. it's a number's game.
Same to me.
Thank you! I realized i'm a very needy person, lol, will start to change XD
I’m pretty late but thnx you for this video, you’re giving me tons of advice of the next person who I’m going to be with. You just earned my subscription
This was the best advice I could ever be given Charlie, thank you!
I've just come across your channel and I love your videos! I'm so into how I communicate and maintain relationships with others, and this specific video would have been great to watch about a year ago haha. Very cool that you lived in Brazil, I'm Brazilian! You've got yourself a new subscriber :)
Glad to have you!
good very honest advice. Best way to make people like you is to like yourself and live a life you like. When you do this you will find you only make time for people who really deserve your time and make an effort for you.
Wow. I have personally experienced all of these, on both sides, when I do it to someone, and when someone does it to me. You're really good at observing and understanding the subtle things. A lot of time we just don't do these things on purpose, we do them rather unintentionally, but having an understanding of this can help with building better relationships. Thanks for the video!
I recently got broken up with and I came across your channel late the other night and it really made me feel better and has taught me a lot and how to better myself. I have never related ton anyone so much! Keep making great videos I can't wait to binge watch all of them!!!
so so true.... my last relationship has ended precisely because of this.... thanks for posting!
Why didn't I watch this 4 years ago, I needed this advice about neediness so freaking badly.
I catch myself watching your videos two or three times in a row, because they are so goddamn JAM PACKED with insight, it is unbelievable. Huge fan since like 16 hours haha.
~ Glad you're enjoying the videos! Welcome to the channel. :-)
Simple, clear and helpful advice. You just got a subscriber and someone who'll watch all your videos now! Thanks!
Dude you're blowing up! Keep up the good work.
Yeah...i rather stay single 😂 less stress, issues, & more self care!💗
TaTa Grantt more loneliness
Jukai exactly, heres the thing I realized. Everyone was telling me “you don’t have to be in a relationship, love yourself, be single etc”, I did exactly that, worked on self love, started eating healthy, working out, seeing a psychologist boom. I completely worked on myself and reached peak self love...but I still felt lonely. Loving yourself isn’t a hard thing to do, people should stop acting like loving yourself will all of a sudden dull the loneliness...it won’t. To put an analogy, self love gets sad and boring, humans were not meant to self love 24/7, we were meant to love and someone to love us. I’m not saying self love isn’t important, it is, but I am saying that it’s not sustainable. At one point you get tired of loving yourself, imo it seems quite selfish, I feel like I want to make an impact in someone else’s life as I have my own. What’s the point of life if your going through it alone...
Facts
If all you get from relationship is stress and issues, your not doing it right
What about now 👉👈 😳
I've seen lots and lots of channels like this but this channel is one of the best one👌👌
I'm building my ritual when I get entirely deconstructed (destroyed), I watch your videos over and over until I get to apply your advice.
I dated a girl for two years. We had the most amazing relationship, but it fell through. She was so busy with work and school and I was leaning on her for emotional support too much
ATLEAST YOU FUXXED HER FOR 2 YEARS WHEN SHE LET YOU, BETTER THAN ME
My god! This video was eye opening, and so very needed!
Happy to share :-)
Great video man.
You are very honest and clear. And you are not event talking about pulling back just because.
It's easier to follow that advice.
Ty 4 this vídeo
Always looking for great insights thank you! I’ll be sharing with my friends and followers!
Relationships are super nice. The getting to know you dating phase is hell.
I personally think these tips are all tied to trusting your partner to be consistent.
You don’t need to worry about texting daily if he/she is already texting you a lot.
You don’t need to pressure if he/she constantly agrees to go on dates with you.
And you don’t need to flex your schedule if she/he is always down to hang out between the small cracks of your schedule.
This is the third video i watch in this channel, I think all your videos are great, but this one in particular was quite interesting.
Been binge watching your videos. I really like your views. I'm glad someone else can ackowledge the meta of human interaction.
This video was a great eye opener. I think back to times where I exhibited the things you talked about and it makes me cringe. I totally appreciate your suggestion to become a planner. I find that I'm good at planning when it comes to grad school and friendships, however a person I'm interested in has generally meant that my plans go out the window. Not only do I feel like I have less integrity as a person, but I also feel the rejection when the other person is not prepared to 'drop their plans' as well.
Thanks for sharing that!
Datе S*хy Singlеs Online => twitter.com/f97d4034876596a58/status/801992405775826944 Тhее BIGGESТ Мistаke Рeople Make In Dating
Ah dammit, I'm so done with this, so freaking complicated
Thank you so much, I've been having this problem ( the lesser version mentioned at the beginning of the video) you really lifted this off my chest.
~ Glad it helped :-)
You are awesome man! I swear I am so grateful!
so i'm not the only one who's done these mistakes...!
loved it!
thanks
Appreciate that!
oh, so it happens to girls too lol noted
bevrosity I’m suprised girls as hot as her ever have trouble.
Hahaaa I have one up on everyone. Can't make mistakes in dating if I don't even have the guts to confess my feelings to a person... or flirt... or talk to peoplr I'm interested in... or people in general... or if I don't even have the opportunity to meet new people... ... ...
I've had to block women who were not only needy, but became stalkers after being told I wasn't interested. Getting a restraining order isn't amusing. It's great that you acknowledge your mistake and even laugh it off. Much better than becoming all fangy, bitter and blame shifting. Some women REALLY can't handle rejection, even though I'm compassionate about it. Anyway, kudos for having dignity...that's even more attractive than your appearance.
It's so true, but I noticed it too late. I ruined a great relationship because I mad these mistakes. (all of them)
So true. Great video.
Thank you soo much for this video... The neediness part was definitely me in my relationship with my girlfriend and this was definitely the msg i needed to hear for so long now. Words can't explain how i feel right now.
This is such an amazingly powerful video (like all your others!)
Basically the key to success in all fields is to invest in yourself above everything else. The more you you value yourself the more others will value you :)
Thank you for this!
Just can't get: the girl said she had plans with her family, and you also insisted that you could not meet any other day. But if she followed your advice and stayed with family (don't cancel your own plans), you two would not have met that night at all.
The BIGGEST Mistake - biggest problem, actually - is that people today are so self-concerned that they don't make even a tiny step towards (because they are taught not to over respond, not to call first, not to commit etc)
dainerystargaryen i agree with you!!!
In that case, she had been with her family all day - it wasn't cancelling her plans with them at that point. It was more that she was nervous about getting more serious with me so she allowed little things to serve as excuses for why she couldn't see me. I found this out afterwards obviously
Charisma on Command thanks for reply! I see your point now, reasonable enough. Btw I love your channel, it's just the topic of dating that freaks me out a bit:)
S*хy Singlе Girl Living in уоur сitу => twitter.com/a84b233da8f528a97/status/801992405775826944 ТTTТhe BIGGESТ Mistake Рeоple Mаke In Dating
slytherin girl the girl flaked on him last minute with the excuse of her family due to her poor time management skills on top of low general availability and intention of trying to making it happen at least when she had committed to do so. It's one thing valuing your time and another devaluating others time and not being consistent. It's a matter of character. Selfish people always existed and always will be, mainly because there these other people that put up with them.
Bro this opened my eyes. I know this was simple but I was just so luvy duvy. I think I might be able to save my relationship. Hopefully
I really love watching people and hearing their thoughts about psychologic. Ur contents are really helpful. Thanks for being the best and i hope to see more of ur vids xD
~ Glad you're finding them helpful!
Dude. Your videos have helped me out so much in social and dating situations. I'm a lot more confident when talking to people and more upfront when talking to girls that I'm interested in. I'm starting to like being in social situations as it gives me a chance to practice what I've learned in these videos. Thank you so much! (Also, siliva at 4:55 lol)