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7 Things I Wish I Knew About Dating In My 20s

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  • Опубліковано 16 сер 2024
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    There’s no rule book for how to have an incredible relationship. And that means that a lot of us (myself included) make tons of mistakes.
    I’m turning 32 on October 5th. And as I look back on the last decade or so, I realize that I’ve done some things wrong. Which is why in this video I want to share with you 7 things I wish I knew in my 20s.
    ⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
    0:31 - #1: People change because of internal motivation.
    2:01 - #2: Chemistry is a phase.
    2:24 - #3: People who are fundamentally friends have the strongest relationships.
    3:49 - #4: Duration is a bad measure of quality.
    4:47 - #5: Conversation shouldn't have to change when he/she enters the room.
    6:01 - #6: Never give up your friendships because of a relationship.
    7:24 - #7: You need to show your work emotionally.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    #Dating #CharismaOnCommand
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,3 тис.

  • @IsmaOnYouTube
    @IsmaOnYouTube 4 роки тому +5085

    32? What? You look like you’re 22

    • @user-mv6yv9ec1b
      @user-mv6yv9ec1b 4 роки тому +277

      He looks 19

    • @NOLINK74
      @NOLINK74 4 роки тому +211

      taking care of yourself works wonders on the body.

    • @plica06
      @plica06 4 роки тому +26

      @@awkwardowl4197 Then you'll get smile lines and start to look older.

    • @joaosimpson99
      @joaosimpson99 4 роки тому +9

      @@NOLINK74 that's mostly genetics too

    • @bfedezl2018
      @bfedezl2018 4 роки тому +14

      @@plica06 If you meassure the importance of smiling against you getting wrinckles, then I pity you. Search for something important because I guaratee you, smiling because you want, makes you happy and everyone else around.

  • @garychapin6875
    @garychapin6875 4 роки тому +4946

    Dude I can’t believe you’re 32, you look barley over 21 😂😂

    • @Fred-zt5ky
      @Fred-zt5ky 4 роки тому +17

      I thought he was 35 haha, and I’m actually closer than you :)

    • @RandomChristianMusings
      @RandomChristianMusings 4 роки тому +76

      I thought he was perhaps in his final years of college. Our youngest is older than this content creator, lol, and just had her second child

    • @Seskoi
      @Seskoi 4 роки тому +36

      And he looked wheat under 21.

    • @Slipperidecpcheatful
      @Slipperidecpcheatful 4 роки тому +26

      As a guy who looks young at 20, this makes me feel better about the future :)

    • @lightdark00
      @lightdark00 4 роки тому +10

      27-29yo would have been my guess. I'm guessing good genes, possibly older parents, and he kept a general constant weight while not getting fat.

  • @torachan23
    @torachan23 4 роки тому +2286

    I wish I KNEW about dating in my 20s.

    • @icareg
      @icareg 4 роки тому +38

      it almost never occurred to me

    • @MrVleker
      @MrVleker 4 роки тому +37

      Try to meet a lot of people, that'll increase the chances

    • @urorazbojnik5678
      @urorazbojnik5678 4 роки тому +40

      I wish I know about it today in my 30's lol

    • @ahnrho
      @ahnrho 4 роки тому +1

      Lol

    • @MrHav1k
      @MrHav1k 4 роки тому +20

      F. I've realized I'm quite good looking due to my results on Tinder, but it is brutally hard for most guys on there. I sympathize. I used to be fat and shot myself in the foot for many years. It's tough.

  • @beccag2758
    @beccag2758 4 роки тому +649

    I always feel like this stuff applies to friendships too, not just romantic relationships

    • @LinkEX
      @LinkEX 4 роки тому +18

      it's basically the same list, except you'd replace that chemistry part with making time for them despite your romantic relationship.

    • @danielmiller1357
      @danielmiller1357 4 роки тому +1

      He spends the most of the video saying the same thing

    • @jewelyJewels
      @jewelyJewels 4 роки тому +5

      @@danielmiller1357 No, he doesn't. He's saying something completely different like every 15 seconds if you actually listen.

    • @danielmiller1357
      @danielmiller1357 4 роки тому +3

      David Braasch David Braasch if you listen to point number 3 he explains how having a friendship is the first step to a romantic relationship. So I think he tries to explain a lot of points on romance and friendship. He doesn’t spend much time on one topic so take it in and rewatch or even rewind if you need to

    • @catswellthecat7855
      @catswellthecat7855 4 роки тому +7

      I agree. Fundamentally it’s all about how to interact and form healthy relationships with other people.

  • @BrainsApplied
    @BrainsApplied 4 роки тому +2341

    *A golden tip that I learned the hard way:*
    Don't be needy, no one likes people that are needy

    • @maranofan
      @maranofan 4 роки тому +16

      Ariana Grande says hi

    • @partacanna
      @partacanna 4 роки тому +5

      Unless they are Wilson(From Dr house)

    • @undeniablySomeGuy
      @undeniablySomeGuy 4 роки тому +2

      i do

    • @spencerfrancis7730
      @spencerfrancis7730 4 роки тому +178

      Don't take this advice too much. "I don't want to be needy" is exactly the sort of thinking that makes people close themselves off to emotional conversation.

    • @shaunhumphreys6714
      @shaunhumphreys6714 4 роки тому +38

      in my first great relationship i was needy, and that was the love of my life, and i lost her. in the second great love, i decided to do the opposite and if i had problems, i covered them up, lied, would go away for three months and deal with my problem because if i told her i know she would want to help, and i was so afraid of becoming needy and her saying she felt like she had become my mum rather than my girlfriend-which is what my first great love ended up feeling. when my second love found out i lied, she no longer trusted me at all. she kept breaking up with me over every tiny thing. there were six breakups, and me getting her back each time. until i was exhausted by the emotional effort of it and couldnt summon the energy to get her back again, so i broke it up. i made a critical error in each. i can only conclude that i should not be needy, but i should be honest if i have a problem, dont lie, but just say 'i will deal with this myself, i dont wish to burden you with it; and totally insist on that. that combines manliness with vulnerability-which is what women seem to want these days.however in the second great love where i lied, made up an excuse-even said i had joined the navy submariners, so it gave me the only excuse as to why i would be away and uncontactable for three months-this was in order to sort out my housing situation as i was effectively homeless, living out of hostels and cheap hotels, trying to save a deposit for a new apartment. i didnt want to have to speak her daily and have to tell more lies to cover up the original lie, so serving on a nuclear submarine, under the ocean got me out of that. but after three months, i stupidly had hotel receipts in my bag showing i was still in london during that time, and i left the bag at hers when i went to work, she spilled a drink on the bag, took the stuff out and found the receipts. i wonder if my mistake was my cover up, or that i stupidly left the bag at hers with the receipts in, as she before this trusted me so much and the relationship was so intimate and amazing with no arguments, but from that point on, she didnt trust me, nothing i could do could mend the trust. i addressed the problem directly and made a concrete plan to earn her trust back, which i wrote down and stuck to, but she still kept dumping me. until after being dumped the seventh time in six months, i had enough and ended it. i have a rule now which is to be very honest with those close to you, but not so with people who are not close to you.

  • @omgitsa2060
    @omgitsa2060 4 роки тому +740

    1. People change because is internal motivation
    2. Chemistry is a phase
    3. People who are fundamentally friends make the best relationship
    4. Duration is a bad measure of quality
    5. Conversation shouldn't have to change when he/she enters the room
    6. Never give up on your friends because of a relationship
    7. You need to show your work emotionally

    • @Asbjoern
      @Asbjoern 4 роки тому +5

      Check the description mate.

    • @omgitsa2060
      @omgitsa2060 4 роки тому +4

      @@Asbjoern didn't see that one mate

    • @vladimirplantin6307
      @vladimirplantin6307 4 роки тому +6

      I agree with everything on this list except number 4; even if it's important for relationships to have happiness rather than misery, regardless of duration, the idea really should be for it to also last as long as possible - wouldn't a happy relationship that came to an end generally make you less happy? Wouldn't that positive influence coming from that relationship also come to an end by then?

    • @omgitsa2060
      @omgitsa2060 4 роки тому +2

      @@vladimirplantin6307 fair point, guess he didn't think of that

    • @deanfarris8679
      @deanfarris8679 4 роки тому

      OMGITSAKS I

  • @Randyy1
    @Randyy1 4 роки тому +401

    My psychologist was explaining relationships to me after I went through a bad breakup.
    He said "let's say these five fingers are the pillars of life. Let's say one is your love life, and the other four are your job, friends, family and hobbies." and he put his fingers on the table. "Let's say you start neglecting your friends, your family, your job and your hobbies" and he lifted up his fingers 1 by 1, so his hand was held up by only one finger. "So what happens when you focus only on your partner and your love life? What happens when one day that goes away as well?"
    It was a great visual, it helped me understand a lot of things.

    • @cayladelorenzo4047
      @cayladelorenzo4047 3 роки тому +10

      I really hope relationships were the middle finger😄

    • @someguy4157
      @someguy4157 2 роки тому +2

      @@cayladelorenzo4047 lol that's what happened when i used my hand for a visual on my own table!

  • @bloatedsodium7301
    @bloatedsodium7301 4 роки тому +1845

    What about 20 things I wish I knew when I was 7.

    • @TheRealHerbaSchmurba
      @TheRealHerbaSchmurba 4 роки тому +21

      What about when I was 6

    • @patrickdan9274
      @patrickdan9274 4 роки тому +8

      @@TheRealHerbaSchmurba when i was 5

    • @sanktheheghog201
      @sanktheheghog201 4 роки тому +208

      @@patrickdan9274 how to be more charismatic in the womb

    • @ethantate9180
      @ethantate9180 4 роки тому +30

      sank the heghog how to be more charismatic when being conceived?

    • @winser21
      @winser21 4 роки тому +25

      Or how about 2 things that I wish I knew about dating in my 70s?

  • @sebastianrook5478
    @sebastianrook5478 4 роки тому +603

    Everyone has their B.S., you have 2 decide what B.S. you can live with, and what you can't.

    • @danielimmortuos666
      @danielimmortuos666 4 роки тому +21

      Spot on. Best tip ever

    • @an6350
      @an6350 4 роки тому +11

      -_- that's why I never want a long relationship.. I'm too selfish to deal with someone's bs unconditionally

    • @justynamaria0333
      @justynamaria0333 4 роки тому +13

      I thought you meant bachelor's degree lol

    • @ashleysvoboda8331
      @ashleysvoboda8331 3 роки тому +1

      My mom explained this to me once. Really good advice.

  • @jimmybuttsauce3271
    @jimmybuttsauce3271 4 роки тому +528

    Just realized that you have Cameron Diaz’s smile 😂😂

  • @MoosieFilms
    @MoosieFilms 4 роки тому +199

    I just got out of a 3 year relationship (2 year engagement) and this video was incredibly hard to watch, but reinforced why I know things ended. This was a very painful reality check

    • @Zeitgeist2000
      @Zeitgeist2000 4 роки тому +4

      You got engaged after only 1 year of knowing someone? You agreed to spend the rest of your life with someone after dating them for only a year? Wow.

    • @MoosieFilms
      @MoosieFilms 4 роки тому +23

      @@Zeitgeist2000 yep. I was raised with the idea that getting married and having a family were the purpose of my life(don't feel the same now though) so I have always gone into relationships for that purpose. I don't date someone at all unless I already feel like I could spend my life with them. And when you already feel that then a year is just enough time to check things off and make sure. It's not a good way of doing things clearly. But it's a product of my upbringing.

    • @dgrdst5810
      @dgrdst5810 4 роки тому +4

      @@Zeitgeist2000 marriages actually last longer the less you know the other person by like 52% compared to knowing them properly beforehand.

    • @Ctrl_Alt_Elite
      @Ctrl_Alt_Elite 4 роки тому +4

      @@Zeitgeist2000 I mean did you take this video on board lol? He does talk about how duration is a poor measurement of a relationship...

    • @thevoxdeus
      @thevoxdeus 3 роки тому +2

      @@Zeitgeist2000 A year's a pretty long time to date someone. By then you should know who they are and whether a lifelong commitment makes sense.

  • @johndawhale3197
    @johndawhale3197 4 роки тому +413

    I'm 22 and I look old enough to be your dad...

    • @fruitytarian
      @fruitytarian 4 роки тому +18

      😂😂😂💀

    • @fourtweven
      @fourtweven 4 роки тому +8

      That sounds like a "you" problem

    • @johndawhale3197
      @johndawhale3197 4 роки тому +9

      @@fourtweven Okay, all 22 year old guys I know look old enough to be his dad.

    • @Frederick0220
      @Frederick0220 4 роки тому +4

      Lol. I’m 28 and I look old enough to be Charlie’s grand-daddy!

    • @nemocorone6124
      @nemocorone6124 4 роки тому

      quiet, kids.

  • @danielgabriealjayarajan6844
    @danielgabriealjayarajan6844 4 роки тому +957

    Did he just say 32?

  • @RaheemD
    @RaheemD 4 роки тому +94

    When my big group of friends in sixth form got into relationships and suddenly did double date nights and I started getting invited out less it really messed me up and I resented making new friends for a while (still do not gonna lie). I appreciate you mentioning not to lose your friends when in a relationship. I never understood why someone would only ever want to hang out with just one person all the time. I need a different point of view for interesting conversation and debate.
    Great video as usual! Charlie doesn't age because he's living his best life I'm sure of it haha

  • @TheRealHerbaSchmurba
    @TheRealHerbaSchmurba 4 роки тому +264

    Oh my god #7 has ruined a past relationship. I rarely communicate how I arrive at conclusions.

    • @JaronLukasXYZ
      @JaronLukasXYZ 4 роки тому +24

      The important thing is how you learn from it, let go, and move on. Don’t forget to love yourself in the process! Check out my self-help videos.

    • @bobbywhite5319
      @bobbywhite5319 4 роки тому +18

      Why aren’t humans more direct?
      If the girl had stated her intentions instead of hiding behind words, things also would have been different.

    • @kingofgrooveness
      @kingofgrooveness 4 роки тому +7

      @@bobbywhite5319 I was about to say the same. Conceptually yes it's good to show your work emotion or no emotion but you only have to show your work when people aren't being honest with their inquiries. My ex was the same and after I vowed to find a women who'd ask me exactly what she was thinking boom bam plow successful healthy relationship.

    • @breakingthemasks
      @breakingthemasks 4 роки тому +1

      @@kingofgrooveness ... Agreed!
      Honest communication from both sides... Nothing else will do. Period.

    • @meandmetoo8436
      @meandmetoo8436 4 роки тому +3

      When I explain to people how I came to a certain conclusion I generally get a "what ?"

  • @BarChordA
    @BarChordA 4 роки тому +111

    "A friend is, as it were, a second self."
    -Marcus Tullius Cicero

    • @themanfromtheeast2048
      @themanfromtheeast2048 4 роки тому

      how do you pronounce the last word in that name??

    • @BarChordA
      @BarChordA 4 роки тому

      Little Man “Sis-uh-roe”

    • @cutiepanda3654
      @cutiepanda3654 4 роки тому

      What does this mean

    • @BarChordA
      @BarChordA 4 роки тому +1

      @@cutiepanda3654 I think it means: A friend is someone who is concerned for your well-being, someone who can share your burdens and help you to see yourself and your choices more objectively. We typically view ourselves and our choices subjectively - we can rationalize almost any behavior with enough self-deception. A friend can help us see through that deception. They can point out things we might have missed. Having a friend is as if we had a second self to help us along our journey, and likewise we can be a second self for them.

    • @allme2547
      @allme2547 4 роки тому +1

      @@BarChordA your description of this makes me want to be your friend 😶

  • @abuhuraira3685
    @abuhuraira3685 4 роки тому +1851

    Dating after 30 is easy
    It's like riding a bike
    But the bike is on fire
    Everything is on fire
    Because you're in hell

    • @Baiano29
      @Baiano29 4 роки тому +34

      Seems accurate

    • @sebastianrook5478
      @sebastianrook5478 4 роки тому +25

      The ninth circle of hell where Satan resides is marriage.

    • @e.k.d6181
      @e.k.d6181 4 роки тому +4

      Because of work and bills? *from a 20*

    • @amna0alhawaj
      @amna0alhawaj 4 роки тому +4

      Pretty accurate.

    • @LinkEX
      @LinkEX 4 роки тому +4

      I don't feel like I've arrived in hell yet.
      But then again, I never quite felt like riding that bike either.

  • @Catalinddm
    @Catalinddm 4 роки тому +223

    I definetly learned a lot of these by practice with my actual wife. Btw, i still try to woo her still. Dating never ends, even when you marry and have kids (i have 3). Cheers, great content.

    • @LinkEX
      @LinkEX 4 роки тому +34

      Great to hear you're still doing it 'despite' the marriage - one big reason that marriages go bad is precisely because of the bad notion that you already 'got your price' and can slack off from there, which is a recipe for desaster.

    • @MizManFryingP
      @MizManFryingP 4 роки тому +5

      @@LinkEX I think you're absolutely right.

    • @MiguelLopez-sf3in
      @MiguelLopez-sf3in 4 роки тому +2

      Good on you mate. Thats the way to go

    • @Catalinddm
      @Catalinddm 4 роки тому +9

      Thank you for the encouragement. A hapyy wife and mother is a happy me. And yes @linkEX, absolutely right. That's why some marriages fail, unfortunately.

    • @jackdeniston9326
      @jackdeniston9326 4 роки тому +4

      Can I ask, what is she still doing for you?

  • @camerongeller8973
    @camerongeller8973 4 роки тому +427

    You're 32!?!?! I thought you were like 24-25ish.. good skincare routine my guy!

    • @SaadRKhan
      @SaadRKhan 4 роки тому +8

      I've been seeing him for 2 years or something and even I'm surprised right now

    • @riotgrrl453
      @riotgrrl453 4 роки тому +12

      32 isnt very old

    • @PresbianTier
      @PresbianTier 4 роки тому +23

      Flex Tape no one said it was but he does look young for 32. I thought he was in his 20s as well. Like 26.

    • @God-hs5dw
      @God-hs5dw 4 роки тому +14

      It’s genetics not a good skin care routine lol

    • @yourmum107
      @yourmum107 4 роки тому +2

      ThePagan that has to do with bone structure a lot of the time

  • @JaronLukasXYZ
    @JaronLukasXYZ 4 роки тому +11

    Communication is the key! You have to be in tune with yourself first, and take chances the right way. I talk about this a lot with my clients and it worked quite well for them.

  • @StevinTheGreat
    @StevinTheGreat 4 роки тому +130

    Can you make a video on how to look 22 when you're 32?

    • @snowfall8484
      @snowfall8484 4 роки тому +5

      genetics and wear sunscreen...but mostly genetics

    • @miman3
      @miman3 4 роки тому

      Skin care!

    • @miman3
      @miman3 4 роки тому +2

      There's a recent video on Impact Theory's channel on aging if you're interested

    • @AnalyticalChick
      @AnalyticalChick 4 роки тому +2

      Drink water until you piss clear periodically because it means you're flushing toxins out.

    • @brokenship8252
      @brokenship8252 4 роки тому

      @synchromorph there's no gene for the human spirit

  • @IsaacMillerRocks
    @IsaacMillerRocks 4 роки тому +244

    I think I must have slept through my whole 20's.... There are girls out there??

  • @itsbishop6002
    @itsbishop6002 4 роки тому +14

    Honesty is the biggest thing for me, I’ve ended seemingly perfect relationships before because I felt like I couldn’t be honest with the girl

  • @davecullins1606
    @davecullins1606 4 роки тому +81

    When Charlie turns 50 in 2037, he'll finally look like he's actually 32 xD

  • @Hubjeep
    @Hubjeep 4 роки тому +58

    1:10 He waited 10 years to drop that requirement on her???

  • @brogrammerplus7683
    @brogrammerplus7683 4 роки тому +257

    Me: Doesn't even have a girlfriend, not even 20 yrs old
    Also me: This seems like a good way to spend my time.

    • @cruant
      @cruant 4 роки тому +1

      BROgrammer plus same lmao

    • @ghouling1111
      @ghouling1111 4 роки тому +12

      Means you will have a strong leg above most people if you take this stuff on board.

    • @nekokitty90
      @nekokitty90 4 роки тому +1

      I have a boyfriend but I honestly only clicked this video because it was titled "What I wish I knew in my twenties" and I was like
      Bruh, I thought you were 20 something, but you're 32 wtf XD

  • @TopFloorEricc
    @TopFloorEricc 4 роки тому +6

    He’s right about duration. Had my heartbroken recently by a girl I thought was the one. We spent 10 amazing months together and then she wanted to leave because she was unhappy. And once my head cleared up after the shock, I realized we were just way too different. But I learned a lot, had a lot of fun, and will always appreciate her having been in my life.

  • @ryanwong9085
    @ryanwong9085 4 роки тому +20

    "Observe and speak to your friends"
    Bold of you to assume I have any

  • @deecee2174
    @deecee2174 4 роки тому +91

    My ex really got along really with my friends....
    She got along too well and tried to cheat on me ffs

  • @abrohamproductions8263
    @abrohamproductions8263 4 роки тому +7

    7:00 Number 7: Explain your decision making in emotional situations helps pretty much all relationships and should be done a lot of the time.
    Paraphrasing what Charlie said and adding what I know about psychology and my experience with other people.

  • @kevinhdo90
    @kevinhdo90 4 роки тому +9

    "Sometimes, when the relationship ends... It's the friends who are the ones still there." I agree with everything you said and this statement was so true for me o;

  • @PatricHua
    @PatricHua 4 роки тому +4

    I wish this channel existed when I was in my 20s. I'm 38 turning 39 and everything said in this video is so spot on. I've learned all these lessons the hard way. There's so much wisdom and experience shared here that can save a lot of heartaches and frustration. I'm subscribed to his channel and all his videos so far are excellent. He's an excellent life coach.

  • @MeetKevin
    @MeetKevin 4 роки тому +56

    I see the fill-in-the-blanks in each video, but then I just watch the entire video instead of thinking about it since that's easier

    • @robthebomb9
      @robthebomb9 4 роки тому +4

      Lol Kevin! Did not expect to see a comment from you here. Love your vids!

    • @marwanalahjury
      @marwanalahjury 4 роки тому +3

      Kevin why are you here ?
      aren't you married 😅

    • @STUIPEDCHICKEN
      @STUIPEDCHICKEN 3 роки тому +1

      Hi Kevin!!!

    • @CatCannabis
      @CatCannabis 3 роки тому +1

      Love your videos my guy!

  • @rererere96
    @rererere96 4 роки тому +14

    Ah man... This hurts so much to watch. But it's all truth.
    I'm in the middle of the process of learning myself and all that
    Thank you for the video! Really helps

    • @JaronLukasXYZ
      @JaronLukasXYZ 4 роки тому +2

      Your self-awareness is already a huge step forward, Xaman! Next step is moving on and forgiving yourself, which I have a video about. Feel free to browse my channel and see what you need to fully heal.

    • @JaronLukasXYZ
      @JaronLukasXYZ 4 роки тому

      Thomas Serrano just trying to help ✌️ much love

    • @rererere96
      @rererere96 4 роки тому

      @@JaronLukasXYZ I really liked your channel and already subscribed, i see that your content is good, i'll watch your videos more in depth later, any help is appreciated, thank you so much

  • @Corporis
    @Corporis 4 роки тому +2

    Charlie, just wanted to say thank you for your integrity. Your rule #5 is such a good marker of an authentic person, both in and out of romantic relationships, and I’m glad you vocalized it.

  • @PracticalInspiration
    @PracticalInspiration 4 роки тому +6

    Totally agree with the last point on showing your work emotionally. It's something I'm traditionally really bad at, but found people struggle to understand you if you don't. Happy birthday!

  • @thea3229
    @thea3229 4 роки тому +3

    Thank you for this. Made me realize a lot of things. I'm 20 years old, currently going through a break up from a 2 year relationship. This whole video made so much sense because it perfectly described my relationship with my ex. Wish i could've handled it differently but well, i'm glad i ended it.

  • @p1nkelephants
    @p1nkelephants 4 роки тому +53

    "Duration isn't the ultimate goal." I know right, my grandparents were married for 70 years and they were miserable.

  • @RandomChristianMusings
    @RandomChristianMusings 4 роки тому +92

    Happy birthday, a bit early. I'm 56 and I wish I knew what I know now when I was 20. For sure. BUT!!! I Got married at 20, and still am for 36 years. Takes a lot of work...

    • @reggiBB
      @reggiBB 4 роки тому +2

      Advice?

    • @Patrick-eb1yw
      @Patrick-eb1yw 4 роки тому +6

      Wow 36 years. Congrats buddy

    • @DeadAngel14
      @DeadAngel14 4 роки тому +1

      That's amazing, do have any advice tgat you can share with us :"D?

    • @bishop51807
      @bishop51807 4 роки тому +1

      @@reggiBB She's always right....

    • @RandomChristianMusings
      @RandomChristianMusings 4 роки тому +15

      @@DeadAngel14 Actually, yes, friend. People say marriage is a 50%-50% proposition. In reality, it is 100%-100%, each person giving the entirety of themselves in the best interest and self sacrifice to their partner. IMO, it's the only thing that truly works. Godspeed, dearest one & God Bless

  • @KeeperCharlie
    @KeeperCharlie 4 роки тому +6

    Took me years and years, and at the age of 26, I think finally found someone that likes me without anything attached, and I feel the same way. I believe the key is does the other person makes you comfortable and respect your independncy.

  • @SeanLunny
    @SeanLunny 4 роки тому +153

    Don’t settle. I wish I knew that in my 20s - ESPECIALLY with dating!

    • @aumenarys
      @aumenarys 4 роки тому +2

      @@Mhm.3970 Maybe don't settle for less than you think you deserve ?

    • @SaadRKhan
      @SaadRKhan 4 роки тому +3

      @@Mhm.3970 don't stop growing is what he means I guess

    • @phantomfrivolity2169
      @phantomfrivolity2169 4 роки тому +21

      @@SaadRKhan No, he means don't settle with dating someone who isn't your type or someone you don't have much of an interest in just because you're insecure about yourself and think you can't do any better.

    • @vitaminb4869
      @vitaminb4869 4 роки тому +5

      I think he means he can't communicate clearly his thoughts or thinks we can read his mind, or a combination of both.

    • @julijakeit
      @julijakeit 4 роки тому +5

      yes, having standards is important, especially for yourself. settling for less will erupt as a volcano in fights later on.

  • @osse1n
    @osse1n 4 роки тому +185

    - Men and women (masculine and feminine energies) are attracted to different qualities
    - Attraction is not a choice
    - Desire cannot be bargained for

    • @ziesam
      @ziesam 4 роки тому +4

      I just can't get it why masculine and feminine energies are attracted to eachother

    • @McLovin201
      @McLovin201 4 роки тому +34

      @@ziesam reproduction

    • @usersdksdfg
      @usersdksdfg 4 роки тому +14

      Ziesam because God created us that way

    • @derpydactyl8098
      @derpydactyl8098 4 роки тому +7

      Masculine and masculine and feminine and feminine can also work but Ight

    • @e.k.d6181
      @e.k.d6181 4 роки тому

      @@ziesam if you are a excited person you tend to look for calmer people. Something like that. Maybe it because you want that quality in your life or you want that in your child deep down Idk

  • @samvankan6060
    @samvankan6060 4 роки тому +1

    Hi! I have been semi-binging your videos lately but this one kind of hit home with me, especially point 5. I am only 18 and I don't have much experience with dating yet, but when I look at my grandparents I can easily tell what difference that 5th point makes. My grandparents on my father's side are not happily married, they only act like they are towards the outside world and I always feel like they are hiding so much. Meanwhile my grandparents on my mother's side are probably the most happily married people I know. They cuss and call each other names, but they never have to hide anything from each other and my grandpa frequently talks about how the day he met my grandmother was the best day of his life, and knowing how much of an honest man he is I can tell that he means that :)
    Thanks for the video and have a great day!

  • @yonatanmoritz
    @yonatanmoritz 4 роки тому +2

    This whole video is one continuous shot. This is super impressive.

  • @jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862
    @jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862 4 роки тому +73

    *Learn from your mistakes and don't settle for less. The right one will come, don't you worry.*

    • @monsieurpnut
      @monsieurpnut 4 роки тому +4

      Be careful of developing Oneitis. The world ain’t a fairy tale

    • @akidnamedhope.
      @akidnamedhope. 4 роки тому

      Good Vibrations so true. No soulmate lies. There are a lot of people who are good for you. I learned this after a lost my „big love“.

    • @LinkEX
      @LinkEX 4 роки тому +1

      Depends what you mean by "don't settle for less", which is a rather perfectionist mantra.
      Learning to love your partner _despite_ knowing their imperfects is a sign of maturity, and ultimately the skill you need for a succesful relationship.
      And this is not about getting lazily compacent - it's about acquiring realistic expectations towards other human beings, which are always flawed in one way or another.
      It's merely recognizing how well your values match with the strengths and weaknesses with the other person.

    • @evooff
      @evooff 4 роки тому +1

      There is no such thing as "the right one". Millions of people die alone and sad.

  • @reheyesd8666
    @reheyesd8666 4 роки тому +411

    Dude wtf do you eat to look that young?

    • @Micoolaw
      @Micoolaw 4 роки тому +42

      clean foods with a side of meditation

    • @Gloriankithsanus
      @Gloriankithsanus 4 роки тому +30

      @Nicholas Estrada That genuinely made me laugh, thanks dude

    • @malthemanden
      @malthemanden 4 роки тому +6

      genetics

    • @LISA.WANG.
      @LISA.WANG. 4 роки тому +2

      Hmmm what would he look like with a beard 😂

    • @Slipperidecpcheatful
      @Slipperidecpcheatful 4 роки тому +3

      Genetics my dude, I’ve got em to

  • @BlairDaly
    @BlairDaly 4 роки тому +1

    I figured the list would consist of pretty obvious, shallow advice. I was wrong. This is well thought out, sophisticated, mature stuff. Well done, and thank you! Just turned 32 myself.

  • @dl5641
    @dl5641 4 роки тому +2

    Man, glad I came across this video. Just turned 23 and it's funny how even though I've had literally only one relationship in my life years ago, I came to the same conclusions just observing other people. Definitely points worth sharing with others.

  • @adamyohan
    @adamyohan 4 роки тому +7

    I'm so glad to have already learned some of these at a young age.

    • @wisecounsel6135
      @wisecounsel6135 3 роки тому

      Yeah they seem trivial but they come in different forms and not always easy to identify lol

  • @velucadhirim6725
    @velucadhirim6725 4 роки тому +42

    The comment section
    |
    \/
    20% Dating advice
    70% OMG I didn't know Charlie was 32!
    10% Only true fans knew about Charlie's age before this video.

  • @annarose932
    @annarose932 4 роки тому +2

    Could you do a video explaining how to simply persuade someone to watch/read/listen to something you like. I love TV shows like Steven Universe; Gravity Falls; Over The Garden Wall and I am starting to listen to more musical soundtracks like Hamilton; Hadestown; The Great Comet of 1812; and I love various UA-camrs. But because I have never been popular and the stuff I love are not liked it seems here in Britain, I can't talk to anyone about it. I keep trying to tell people to watch these shows but nobody seems to listen and I know myself how annoying it is. I would love to know how to make a good argument about why that person should watch these shows or to check out something I love.

  • @victoriawillingham5791
    @victoriawillingham5791 3 роки тому +2

    Wow, the "show your emotional work" step honestly I think could solve so many of those classic "men vs women" misunderstandings that we joke about 😅
    Great advice!

  • @Ben.Stevenson
    @Ben.Stevenson 4 роки тому +7

    1. People change because of internal motivation 0:38
    2. Chemistry is a phase 2:17
    3. The best relationships are people who are fundamentally friends 2:32
    4. Duration is a bad measure of quality 3:55
    5. How honest can you be with your partner? 4:55
    6. Never give up your friendship because of a relationship 6:13
    7. You need to show your work emotionally 7:32

  • @beverycarefuljohn586
    @beverycarefuljohn586 4 роки тому +14

    You should make a video on cody ko and noel millers charisma

  • @cleanupinaisle3
    @cleanupinaisle3 4 роки тому +1

    This is much more nuanced and insightful than 99.9% of dating advice out there. All things I'm learning as I enter my 30s as well. Bravo.

  • @SelinaMara
    @SelinaMara 4 роки тому

    That last one is so crucial to stop people from overthinking and taking things personally. I know it would help me for sure. I hope everyone has enough sense to do that all the time

  • @MrCal2648
    @MrCal2648 4 роки тому +29

    This is good advice for dating at any time.

  • @willr542
    @willr542 4 роки тому +6

    3:03 there he goes again assuming i have friends ... lol

  • @Xianne027
    @Xianne027 2 роки тому +2

    Thanks for mentioning that part about not cutting friends out for a relationship or marriage. I got thrown to the wayside by all my friends when they got married. Now thirty years later, after their emoty nests and divorces they want me to pick up where we left off in our twenties.

  • @dennisp.alexandratos6618
    @dennisp.alexandratos6618 3 роки тому +1

    Thank you for being here in my early 20s giving your knowledge and wisdom open handedly!

  • @jakeman202
    @jakeman202 4 роки тому +60

    Hey we have the same birthday. Except I am 4 years younger.

    • @shit3151
      @shit3151 4 роки тому

      Im just turning 20 on the 5th lol any advice or sum

    • @mrmoisha287
      @mrmoisha287 4 роки тому

      I have the same birthdate, but he’s ten years younger than me

  • @emmanuelpacheco8765
    @emmanuelpacheco8765 4 роки тому +3

    Wow i just got in a relationship this saturday and now this video is out, this should be helpful

  • @catcombing
    @catcombing 4 роки тому +2

    Can you do a video talking more about the importance of explaining to others your thought processes/emotional processes? You mentioned that here and its very useful.

    • @miranomv
      @miranomv 3 роки тому

      Exactly, I mean I just speak things most random way possible and people always wonder how do I even get to that 😂.
      So I really should work on expressing my thinking and feelings more.

  • @00chimininja80
    @00chimininja80 4 роки тому

    What about a breakdown on the characters from The Breakfast Club? Like how bender seems so confident, how Brian seems so weak, why Andrew strives to impress his father. Etc. Love the vids!

  • @TheBohobemeister
    @TheBohobemeister 4 роки тому +3

    As always, wonderful video!
    Wow! You're almost 32 years old?! You look so young!

  • @PerryCuda
    @PerryCuda 4 роки тому +16

    8:00 Actually, "Should I come visit you or get a laptop?" = "Will you buy me a ticket?"

  • @TigerShark316
    @TigerShark316 3 роки тому

    Bro. I can’t believe you’re 32 (in the video) and you’re so articulate and concise! You have great examples and great advice. Honestly man, you can seriously be a high end consultant for the rest of your life. I have no effing clue how you became so insightful and knowledgeable. Whatever it is, keep doing it! You’re awesome!

  • @silviar.7438
    @silviar.7438 4 роки тому +1

    It depends on how you view negotiation. I've been reading Chris Voss' book Never Split the Difference and his approach to negotiation is about empathising with the person's emotional state and learning to understand what makes them tick

  • @shubhampatil4502
    @shubhampatil4502 4 роки тому +3

    when you said "If you cut your friends out , you will suffer"
    Everyone felt that

  • @kevindibassinga
    @kevindibassinga 4 роки тому +10

    😂last time I blinked, you were turning 30!

  • @Orik960
    @Orik960 4 роки тому

    #7 is brilliant! Never heard it put that way before. I have always thought that so much of conflict in relationships could be avoided by sharing more of your thoughts and emotions, but "showing your work" is a memorable way of saying much the same thing. Thank man! I will be taking that one with me

  • @GLIDGaming
    @GLIDGaming 4 роки тому

    100% correct this !

  • @luvis4evernever
    @luvis4evernever 4 роки тому +3

    Will you share your skincare/health routine? You look 22!

  • @KrisMainYT
    @KrisMainYT 4 роки тому +9

    Learn from mistakes makes your environment more challenging
    Get in at least 4 relationship

    • @JaronLukasXYZ
      @JaronLukasXYZ 4 роки тому +2

      And meditate daily while you’re at it!

    • @KrisMainYT
      @KrisMainYT 4 роки тому +2

      That would help

    • @justfun3624
      @justfun3624 4 роки тому +2

      Don't meditataion
      Right when I sat down and closed my eyes all 3 of them appears
      It's a nightmare

    • @KrisMainYT
      @KrisMainYT 4 роки тому +1

      @@justfun3624At least you become extremely aware of your action
      😁😁😁😁😁😁

    • @LinkEX
      @LinkEX 4 роки тому

      @@justfun3624 Well, that's the point of mediation.
      It's about letting your thoughts and troubles rise to the top (rather than suppressing them), and let them eventually pass without judgement.
      You're basically cleaning your mind, that's going to stir up the muddy water. But it'll get cleaner in the process.

  • @jsfish1014
    @jsfish1014 3 роки тому

    that last one is huge thanks for this video it helped me a LOT

  • @unknowndeoxys00
    @unknowndeoxys00 4 роки тому +1

    That second to last one kinda verified my recent thoughts on jealousy. 😂 And that last one is pretty golden. Sometime I'm ok at it, sometimes I fail...and sometimes people just "didn't want to hear it." 🤷‍♀️ But I'll keep working on my openness...

  • @LeynaraLarwenarenel
    @LeynaraLarwenarenel 4 роки тому +4

    Advice I got and value: Be picky when you start a relationship but whatever you insist they should be, you better be willing to be as well.

  • @Jouhzu
    @Jouhzu 4 роки тому +20

    You forgot one:
    Nothing lasts forever

  • @KaylaNoel101
    @KaylaNoel101 4 роки тому +1

    This is actually really great. I’ll be 27 in Oct 20 (woohoo fellow Libra! 🙌🏻) and this is the first time I’ve actually been single in my adulthood. So it’s a whole new world. I’ll definitely be taking these things into account go into the dating world.

  • @thisishandlenumber2048
    @thisishandlenumber2048 4 роки тому +1

    Another good example for point 3 is how you feel about their friends. I had an ex with two really toxic friends, she was always really nice and sweet but it felt like I was on the set of the Kardashians whenever one of her friends was around. Furthermore whenever I got her alone she would constantly vent to me about them which normally wouldn't bother me but the recap of all the crazy stuff they did would take up most of our alone time together. She became toxic by association and when I broke up with her it was mostly to get her friends out of my life than anything she personally did wrong.

  • @nellowethereal6633
    @nellowethereal6633 4 роки тому +13

    What are some ways to recover after being caught of guard in a argument?

    • @JaronLukasXYZ
      @JaronLukasXYZ 4 роки тому +1

      I say stay calm and simply be honest and clear about your intentions. I have a video about finding inner peace under pressure on my channel. Feel free to check it out.

    • @MizManFryingP
      @MizManFryingP 4 роки тому

      Loudly say to the other person you're arguing with "And THAT'S why I think you're great!" confuse the hell out of em

  • @sifatshams1113
    @sifatshams1113 4 роки тому +7

    "I learned this when I was 21 years old." So.... yesterday?

  • @Kid_Legend_4_Life
    @Kid_Legend_4_Life 4 роки тому

    The way you speak is always changing, thas pretty cool

  • @RosyRosesandStars
    @RosyRosesandStars 4 роки тому

    In all honesty this is solid advice. So many people need to know that fundamentally honesty, communication, friendships are keys to having a functioning relationship. You need to be okay emotionally/mentally on an individual level before you enter into a relationship too.

  • @veratikon7882
    @veratikon7882 4 роки тому +5

    Sometimes i wonder if this channel is geared towards me. I became twenty 15 days ago, and i have long been a socially akward, angsty teen.

    • @LinkEX
      @LinkEX 4 роки тому

      Why shouldn't it be? In fact, you might just be the ideal demographic.
      After all, this particular video is precisely geared at learning about the pitfalls of people in their twenties.

  • @gigel008
    @gigel008 4 роки тому +14

    Haha. Forget about dating advice. Just tell us where you got the youth potion from!

  • @Bosonator2
    @Bosonator2 4 роки тому

    Thanks for coming back to this fundraiser, Charlie. Your channel is so valuable to me, so it's a privilege to chip in... Happy Birthday!!!

  • @realmush6794
    @realmush6794 4 роки тому

    That last point is actually super enlightening. Thank you!

  • @hodeneofficial
    @hodeneofficial 4 роки тому +9

    Never give up friendships because of a new relationship.

  • @matesapi9467
    @matesapi9467 4 роки тому +52

    If i may say myself you do look like you're in your 20's

    • @kingj521
      @kingj521 4 роки тому +2

      Eat healthy folks

  • @Zeitgeist2000
    @Zeitgeist2000 4 роки тому +1

    The thing everyone finds attractive is being comfortable with who you are, if you just be yourself and not try to change or pretend to have a personality trait you just dont have people will see that and they will leave because who wants to be with someone who doesnt think they as they are naturally isnt good enough for anyone. You better believe that if they think you believe that you are not good enough they will believe it too.

  • @saralenak2487
    @saralenak2487 4 роки тому

    Thank you so much for this Charlie. These things seem so obvious, and yet at the same time they’re things I’ve never given thought to. I’ve dated people my friends didn’t like and warned me about, paid for it late. Lost friends to stay in relationships. Tried to change people when that’s not my call to make. Taking time now to work on myself and grow as a person. Thank you for always helping. The world is scary and confusing for a 24 year old girl haha

  • @lilguava70
    @lilguava70 4 роки тому +7

    With number 2, I feel you are confusing chemistry with the concept of having an "initial spark".
    The people i have chemistry with ARE people who are fundamentally my friends. That chemistry is solid, long-lasting, and is familiar when you are away from someone for long periods of time yet it's like nothing's changed when you get back to talking.
    To refer to it as a 'phase' is unfortunate because it shows a great misunderstanding.

  • @andrescandel404
    @andrescandel404 4 роки тому +4

    Could you please make a video about the character of Thomas Shelby

  • @Gallowaves
    @Gallowaves 4 роки тому

    I saw this video and I was impressed. I went to hit the subscribe button but apparently I’ve been subscribed for awhile already. UA-cam algorithms have literally forced your channel out of my feed for so long that I forgot it existed 😑

  • @LoserDestiny
    @LoserDestiny 4 роки тому

    This last advice is GOLD! Never thought about that, but now it totally makes sense!

  • @Augustusgloop1994
    @Augustusgloop1994 4 роки тому +14

    I can't believe this dude is 32!

  • @21MilesAhead
    @21MilesAhead 4 роки тому +3

    One of my best friends' birthday is on october 5th !!
    But you look just as old as him and he about to turn 19 haha

  • @ien2023
    @ien2023 4 роки тому +1

    "Take it with grain of salt"....that's the magic words when it comes to friend's advice. Action does speaks louder than words. It might work for them but might not work for you.

  • @romeroson123
    @romeroson123 3 роки тому

    Dude idk how your videos initially popped up in my suggestions but im glad they did. I'm totally addicted to listening to everything up put up. Definitely subscribing. Keep up the great content. 👍