I look at it as just outgrowing the old relationships. We as INFJ’s are always working to be better people, to better ourselves. If the people around us aren’t growing with us it can definitely cause them to either be confused because we’ve “changed” to much for them or we’ve finally learned to set boundaries for ourselves and they can’t understand it causing us to finally see their true colors and the true depth of that relationship so we move on. I definitely believe in the mindset of friends for a season. You will find new friends that fit into your life, it just may not be in the ways you expect. ❤️ I too have lost some friends, especially since becoming a mom. I’m also starting to make new ones and I’ve met them where I never would have thought.
@@jaclynwright9684 Thank you ). I agree overall. But that doesn't sound like my case though. In my case I can't really say I've lost friends who are either not so good people, or don't want to grow with me or are shallow or are toxic for me or otherwise not good for me in any way. Those who I think of as "lost" friends are actually very good people with many of which I was very close for many-many years, even decades. But somehow in the past few years things have changed in that our paths and lifestyles have become so different that I no longer feel we have a lot or anything in common to connect about at all, we no longer share the same interests and values, so there isn't so much of common understanding any more, I don't feel like I can relate to them the same way (perhaps because I've become a much more sarcastic and cynical fruit myself haha, but it's true), plus the isolation during the pandemic emphasized that, and I don't even feel drawn to them myself so much, so we kind of lose connection and then I become too lazy to contact them and keep the friendship going. Or another reason is that some of them are no longer interested in me, which hurts, but I won't throw myself at anybody or force myself into anybody's life, right? So in the end they become a "lost" friend by choice so to speak in order to keep my dignity. That's my case ). Lately I caught myself thinking that I can't even say if I even have real friends now, even one, or not. Can't say I suffer greatly from it but objectively thinking this is probably a pretty sad fact. Especially given the fact that at this stage in my life I no longer want to be the one initiating things all the time ), so perhaps I am destined to be alone (not lonely necessarily, because I have my family who loves me and all) because I'm stubborn like that haha )), but will see. I try to let life be right now, and think less about things in general, just shut down my freakin' mind lol and let life and things just be and let myself just be ). Thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment ).
My secret technique for making friends is observation. Pay attention to what people do as much as what they say. If you notice something interesting that is your opportunity! Ask about it. You’ll be shocked how fast things develop. 😀
Here’s a fun little problem I’ve discovered about myself. I don’t know if it’s an introvert thing or an extroverted feeling thing, but I cannot pay attention to myself when I’m around other people. I have to focus 100% of my attention on what’s going on and how everyone else is feeling and dealing with what’s happening and I guess I go on autopilot. The moment I’m alone again, I look back on the event and wonder “who was that? Cause it wasn’t me.” It’s such a weird thing but it makes me feel like no one will ever be able to truly see who I am cause I can’t focus on showing my true self and focus on them at the same time.
That could be because INFJs tend to see the ability to adapt themselves as crucial (caus in childhood it truly was) and so you might feel the need to focus on others 100% to make sure you'll be able to adapt as well as possible...because otherwise you might unconsciously think you might get abandoned, cause the other person's might not view you as "good enough" or "too different" etc. Maybe try to become aware that you are a "main character", too (the main character in your own life, even also when you're around other people), just like the others. And that you don't need to adapt but that people who want to be part of your life and presence have to fit or adapt to YOU. And that it's okay if they don't, cause you don't need their approval etc to be "good enough" or "not too different". Then really try it out in social situations, try to feel your body and emotions and witness your thoughts, actively decide in that moments to make this a higher priority than recognizing the other people's stuff and tuning in or adapting. Maybe this helps you as it helped me. Greetings
I think it's the IN thing. I can relate. You have just described perfectly how I feel in a social situation. It's probably the reason social gatherings wear us out. It's 100% us to be that way. It's kind of cool, like having a super power.
Omg the feeling of needing to interrupt someone because we had a great thought we feel like we just need to share! You’re 100% right... I really really need to work on being aware of that and stopping myself.
I've found the easiest way to listen is to ask questions. People love being queried because it helps them organize their thoughts. Because I'm an interactive learned, (NF) it's easier to attend to what the other says if I'm engaged in seeking information and expanding the conversation. An aside about being social: One of the ways to prevent Alzheimer's is to be involved with communicating with interesting and/or engaging people. I was reading about exercise being good for the brain when I found the bit about social interaction. PS: David your plants are looking good. The light across your bookshelves is very Zen.
I really needed this,when you said NOBODY CARES it was like taking a weight off my chest. I always thought nobody would like me and never took any initiative to speak to people unless they do,usually being like this made me have no friends but now I realize the problem was with me all along,and I really care about a lot as you said but from here on I am going to think 'Nobody cares' when I take all things seriously........this really helped me,thank you. and yeah,happy birthday,hope you are good and happy.
Thoughts while I'm still listening to you talk. 1) As an INFJ, I always tend to see myself as an "extroverted introvert". To me, introvert doesn't mean I hate people. It means that after xx amount of time around them I need to run home and recharge in peace and quiet with my books, my cats, my video games, my arts & crafts supplies ... whatever it takes. 2) As an older INFJ, I'm learning how to be comfortable both around people and without them. Especially since the past year has dealt me a lot of big changes, some of which I should be more freaked out about (but I'm surprisingly calm considering). Basically, the older we get, the better we get at coping. 3) Happy Birthday, fellow Taurian! Mine was yesterday (the 13th) and I just hit the big 5-0. Wow, I'm still getting used to that one! :D
I'm a few years behind you but I'll get there too! And YES absolutely - as a mature INFJ things just hit a little different, that's all. Perspective shift!
I sure hope we get better at coping because the older we get, the more seriously tough stuff in life becomes naturally more abundant. Not to say seriously tough stuff doesn’t happen when we are younger of course! I’m an older infj and man this past couple of years has put my coping skills to the test, which I can admit confidently I have failed a few times of late, or at least barely received a C-, lol. I’m commenting because I’m with you, I honestly love people and find almost everyone’s life so fascinating (one on one), but I sure hate how I allow myself to feel disappointed in people’s behaviors sometimes. Not always, but enough that it gnaws at me and I pull away to be alone for a while. I’m thinking more and more that alone (like you, with cats, video games and crafts) is where I really want to be. Until I get that urge to hear about someone else’s fascinating life lol. I need people as much as I need to be alone and that, my fellow infjs, is a damn cruel joke! How rude for my personality to make me this way! We hates it. I wish you all the best with the changes in your life💕 I am right there with ya!
I have been learning so much about myself, and really how the world works through my own eyes after discovering MBTI. About how dysfunctional I was, and how to work on myself. Learning that I'm not the weirdo in the group, just the me. Just me. This channel, and a few others has really opened up my mind about how I'm built. Especially the Spider Cow loop. Most importantly how to stay balanced, and sane around the narcissist. One thing that stands out is how often strangers will open up to me. Even just casual conversation, which these days is a rare thing. To talk to a stranger. Often it's dictated by the amount of time I'm actually out and about. Hermitty (new word) describes me, but I have a pull to go out and, well... Absorb being around others. Then I go home to activate my hermit super powers. After a long bout of "people-ing," nothing beats being in my favorite chair with my huge three toed fluffy monster slippers. Maybe it's my eyeballs. They invite friendly conversation. It's nice because conversation betwixt strangers feels so earnest. Sometimes I pretend to sleep when the introvert in me has both hands on the wheel. Usually it's a waiting room situation. Ooh, the waiting room.
It’s so true, I,ve been doing my shut in thing. My husband took me out this weekend, and we had all kinds of interesting things happen. I’ve been forcing myself to go out and i don’t have a lot to say but i am always listening, and people seem to like to talk to me. I don’t know why but they do. I just need to be more relaxed with who I am and just go with it.
Thanks for that. I agree with you, and I have to say that as I've matured, I have come to treasure my "uniqueness" as an INFJ. When I stop the inner chatter, and - as you say - really listen, people notice, and they do appreciate it - so few people really listen, much less have empathy. I also notice things that are funny or ironic or an oxymoron - and when I point it out to people, they laugh! I love making stupid jokes, just to get a laugh. ("What's that? You want an example? Oh...okay...Did you hear about the big merger between FedEx and UPS? Well, the new company is going to be called "FED UP!") Although I naturally tend to prefer "deep" conversations, I work at making the other person comfortable talking with me, even if it's just small talk. I'm at a point where I can trust my gut instincts - so I can relax and be friendly with someone if I feel that they're "safe". A suit of armor is great protection...but it gets awfully heavy after awhile...Yes, you can...just relax and enjoy others' company.
You'll know your vlogger is an INFJ when you see gaps of time between strings of vlogs. LOL. CLASSIC SIGN. ;) You're in good company. Also, thank you for this today. I desperately needed to hear this. Thank you thank you thank you
Hilarious... I'm such a good listener that people confess the craziest stuff to me all the time and Dangit,I want paid, as a therapist because it's so hard to take all their Crap on my soul🤪
Welcome back! I think we all understand " down time". This video was so timely. I was googling " how to find friends" Lol, best advice was to stop.the rattling in my head, and shut up! Active listening. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I have rather easy to make "friends",acquaintances, by just listening. I'm not shy, more just "very into listening/socializing building relationship for 1 hour" and then very much about getting home. Deep friendship takes time and it's something different. I've enjoyed the possibility to stay at home. A little to much. "Stop talking about your needs and issues"... Seriously, I hardly never do that. Only to my parents. I reveal very little about myself. But, I do need to listen more. Thanks for the video. Where do I find a penguin shop?
Hey this might sound kinda strange, but I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. I think it would be impactful if you did a video about pain in INFJ’s and others. Like how INFJ’s deal with emotional pain within themselves and in others. More specifically when it involves a dark triad type taking advantage of and hurting others. I know it’s kinda dark but I think that’s how it feels for a lot of people during this whole thing. It’s just a thought
You're right, it isn't in the nature..I love to and I wish to socialize more. It's just that at that place,in that very moment sometimes things start holding me back...kinda making me anxious. But only sometimes ...now. Happiest birthday to you:)
When I realised I needed to have a job working with people to get out of the ni/ti loop and to feel fulfilled I was both relieved I'd worked it out but terrified at the same time as I feel I'm also terrible at people things .... if that makes sense
My bell notification seems not to be working, but I found your latest nonetheless. As always, I enjoyed your thoughts. Although I'm most definitely, absolutely, entrenchedly, and nearly completely an introvert according to all definitions - I'll grudgingly admit that I need people. That realization dawned long ago, but boy how the masks have driven that point home. Though can be happy alone for long periods, I need doses of at least being able to watch real people. Social media is no substitute. Conversation is a bigger hurdle. I cannot talk or listen in a group without becoming overwhelmed. Interacting with one or two at a time, and I'm fine, but more than that, and I either fade into the woodwork, flee, or jump in become the very superficial waste of time which I hypocritically abhor in others, until my brain starts shorting out and I must flee. I would add to your point # about listening/interrupting that it is ok to throw out a relevant question or two. It shows you are listening and can subtly direct their train of thought toward what you detect as something important that they should consider, without taking over the conversation or pronouncing judgement. There are also many people I've encountered who seem to have no capacity or inclination for anything more than superficial conversation. I probably worry too much about scaring them off, yet I do factor that into the interaction "dance" when I'm approached or approaching someone. Given the short interactions and brief time allotted to real talk, it can take years of repeated encounters for anything much to develop. It is a shock - in a good way - when a meaningful personal exchange happens. I've had few friends (none long term) but many acquaintances. OK, time to don some flippers and find a shell into which to crawl. Tell your niece that the tentacle is a hit! At first glance on the opener, I mistook the cephalopod image for the Captain Marvel "Hydra" symbol - the sculpture reassured me. (my niece made me an eye sculpture that I love). Have a great birthday!!
When I’m with my extroverted friends I talk like I’m the most extroverted person in the group. But when I’m at places like school I’m the most introverted person there. How does that make any sense?
@@fotbollssnack6515 I believe so. Comfort level and environment for sure, plus like I said - it is in your nature to absorb feelings from others, you need it to be well-balanced, I think.
As I am mostly blind (Partially-blind) not able to drive, have narcolepsy, have juvenile diabetes.......an escape route is not possible Most of the time, but am working to set things up so it is. I don't want to be a shut in, but I became because I couldn't see a solution. I began taking little steps to get out there because I was "in my head" too much and was feeling like I was going crazy and would die and no one would ever even understand. I thought, if that would happen.....what a waste! One more person down underwater. Like in the Titanic, imagine people treading water and trying to stay afloat and one by one they go down and you're still treading. You look around and you start to wonder should I still be treading or should I just let go? I didn't want to be one more thing that would be discouraging to somebody else. The idea that that boat could be coming around for even that somebody else but because I give up they give up, will that field me to do something. So I kept treading and then I started reaching out by putting myself out there. I stepped out of my comfort zone and began taking ballroom dance classes. I love dance. I never fostered that publicly but was dancing in my bedroom for years and years as exercise. But I was working to master it. So as an infj personality type I couldn't bring myself to putting any kind of spotlight on myself. It felt selfish or something. And I still feel that way to some extent. But the thing is, whenever I would get out there and just do my thing people would always have such a positive reaction and big smiles on their faces and that made me feel good. So the classes were affordable which I didn't have very much money, and the place that taught the classes was a walk away. Anyways one small step led to another step and self-talk has changed. I'm now on the journey to allowing myself to be expressing who I am a little more, and at the same time being that listener that you describe for us to be like. I am making friends, and I am become more independent which has been very empowering. And it all started with one little thing that led to another little thing that led to freedom. As an infj personality type I don't know that we'd ever truly be free in mind, but we can if we work at it. What makes me free in my mind is knowing that I've done everything I could and try level best to not live with regrets. Whether or not somebody can see that or not doesn't matter anymore because I know it. I feel like anybody who's has any sense would see that. And I do have family that does. So watch for blind girl that plays in the APA League. I'm new at it, but in a short time I'm really good. I hope I can be inspiring. It doesn't matter I am too many people are not cuz I already am to my family. But the idea that it doesn't have to be just family, but a positive thing of my life to affect others in a positive way is motivation. The world sucks, but I can be somebody that maybe helps the world not suck so much. If I can make people smile, or laugh, or I can help them just by being me in some way, that is my goal. So the point is it doesn't have to be a big thing like we make it out in our minds. Just one little thing at a time. * Get control of your self-talk. * Take steps to make small changes and small ones so it's not so overwhelming a thought to even do. * Be yourself without worrying too much about what others think about what your interests are or whatever. * Stop thinking about what you can't do and start thinking about what you can do. * Parent yourself. How would you Foster that child? *Remember not everybody needs to know your plans or how you do, the doing is enough said. *Just shine by being you! *And slow down and be a good listener. *Make sure the people that are talking felt heard by you as you yourself would like to be. Just imagine it's you. *Think of other ways to be heard yourself. Such as a blog Instagram. I have found much support through my Instagram from people from all different countries. It is a great outlet. * Simplify for the big picture. Much love to this channel and all the people that comment! It is very encouraging and very very helpful! 💕☺️
Well hey there 👋 🖤 Love the new intro. I mean…a winking 🐙 ? Yes please. Can’t wait for the “live” - I’m certain it will be awesome. Oh, and 🎶 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! 🎶
@Jaclynn's Jungle This is my public thank you for perfectionisting @ me so hard that I was forced to improve my color scheme and banner or risk irritating the shit out of you. 😜 Also I'm sorry I blew out your eardrum with the wrong 'bing' but also I'm certain it was 100% quieter than ice.
I have a hard time going out… I’m 44 and I only have a few friends I occasionally communicate with them online only. My mom keeps telling me to “get out there!” I don’t even know how or where or something… I’d rather deal with a book than people…
Happy Birthday!!! I hope it is the best one yet!!! 🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉 I make friends pretty easily since I'm an ambivert but my problem is keeping friends over the long term. Also, all the extroverts get butt hurt when I go into hermit mode so that isn't always helpful either. I just try to accept who I have in my life currently and the flow of change that life brings.
Always good to take a break David. No explanation needed. This is a very cool video. There was a guy in my dorm that dressed up as a condom😂. I am seriously the anxiety INFJ gal that interrupts😂. I do go foraging at a local park so occasionally I do have an opportunity for a mini lesson for a passerby because weird hippie lady picking weeds seems to interest people. Saving the best for last-Happy Birthday David!!!! Sending you lots of hugs and love from NJ🤗❤️
Great video ( I really enjoy your honest, and open first hand perspective on INFJ issues ) They are very relatable insights, which is rare when we feel so misunderstood. We all understand needing to recharge, I personally save any vacation time I receive, for random meltdowns. When isolating is a must, and not doing so can be life altering - blowing up on friends, family, your boss, a random slow - driver. And feeling like an anger driven wrecking ball that just needs be isolated in order to avoid self sabotage. Anyway thanks, your advice is very thoughtful, sounds like our inner monologue brought to light.
I allow people to speak and I try to understand where they're coming from, then they want to be friends. But I wish I could make friends who have similar beliefs, values and ways of looking at things. It's hard to find the right people out there which is why I stick to virtual friends I can find, who value and have experienced things I have. I overthink & over analyse in person, its a state of mind I can't fight away, but I overthink to let go, which ends up with me stuck in that state of mind. Opening up is always difficult because you can't voice anything and end up sounding so dumb and now you've gave the wrong impression. Wish I could care less and have it easy and just let things flow like in writing. You're like the most understanding of anyone I know, and I don't even know you 😅 Thanks, now go enjoy your birthday!!
David so nice to watch your video again. I am great ant socializing. Problem: I open up and get booted in the ass. This is why dogs are my choice of socialization,🤐
Always important to listen to yourself when you need a break 💯 I'm proud of my progress with getting back to socializing, last week I went out with a group to a museum and a walk. Had fun.
Happy Birthday, David!!! edit: also, you and your words really resonated with me today. I always vibe with you, fellow INFJ. But I think I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
Great to see you back, David! Hello friends! I love meeting people at workshops and classes where people have similar passions or interests. The best thing is going into these situations with NO expectation of making friends... Just to enjoy the experience and be myself. The people who are interested will connect with you. Once again, still have NO expectation of the subsequent contact going anywhere. Use it as an opportunity to learn about the other person. Great people will return the opportunity for you to share your story. Then you never know where things will go. Remember, no expectations.
Hello David.....Happy Birthday today!! Hope today is a great day for you! Nice to see you here again. Like the backdrop of the shelves and the new intro. Very insightful subject for these times of "getting out". I often found that groups focused on a single subject matter helps make things better for introverts - the subject matter takes the nervousness out. For example, I used to go up to the National Weather Service in Memphis for monthly AMS meetings with forecasters and other AMS members. I did the same when living in Los Angeles. I was a "social butterfly" there, all because I was focused on the meteorology and the sharing of experiences in that subject. So that is how I roll the best in social settings, pick and choose the subject matter that the meeting will be about, and let the dynamics take over. Looking forward to the Live Stream soon! Cheers, Jeff
Also seeing as you like that tentacle sculpture have you watched My Octopus Teacher on Netflix, it’s a beautiful wildlife documentary, very moving, it’s got a really great story to it too. It’s about a documentary film maker and his journey to better mental health, while making friends with an octopus 🐙 And it won the Oscar for best documentary.
Happy birthday brother! Thank you for your inspirational message :) I used to be reluctant to connect. Following a spiritual experience I started seeing people differently. I began 'recognising' people. Not in the way that I'd met them before. More approaching a connection with curiosity, and faith that given a little time, there will be more common bonds between us than difference. A kind of pre-recognition of our similarity. This now gives me confidence when I meet humans for the first time to initiate connection. I hope your message encourages more of of us INFJs to have the courage to connect x
Hi David! Happy Birthday! So good to see a new You Tube video from you. I’ve missed you! Whatever you say always resonates with me. I don’t make friends easily. I tend to join a new group and then meet people that way or people leave my workplace and we keep in touch. It isn’t easy. I’m an infj and awkward and find it hard to connect with some people. By the way, this is my first ever comment post - yikes!
Welcome back David! Good to see you! Ughhhhhh you have your bossy pants on but FINE....I’m listening so be it. PEOPLE.....UGHHHHH......I hear you though we do need them. I’m going over to Amazon now to order my scuba flippers. Probably going to need them venturing out. 👽❤️👽
Happy Birthday! Hope you have a great Birthday! ^(^ ^)^ Love the new intro and outro. Love how the tune from the old opening is still used in the outro. And I probably misspelled outro....Eh moving on... “Perpetual identity crisis,” never related more to a statement especially since having an identity crisis has been more common this past year for me. You can tell your niece that the tentacle looks amazing. Aside from all that, I have a hard time keeping friends in my life. I think as a kid I used my social Chameleon thing to socialize. I still use it naturally often unintentionally. But anyway whenever I made a friend I was always kind and stuff everything went well. Then when I try to stay in contact I’m usually ignored. So I figured that they didn’t want me in their lives anymore. So I stayed out and it ended up being a permanent thing. Though I will say I have made one friend who has continued to be my friend and who reached out to see how I was doing. I remember nearly breaking down by that since none of my previous friends had done that. I let her know just how thankful I was for her and that grew our friendship. But yeah I have few friends but I love the friends I have very deeply. So that’s my experience with making and keeping friends. Loved this video! ^(^ ^)^
I used to have too many friends. Everybody wanted to be around me. M/F. Never had to try. Skipped school just to have a day away by myself. ( didn’t understand then). Now I avoid humans like the plague. Yet I still get coffee invites or lunch. I hate it. My anxiety goes up and I try to lie my way out. Ummm I suck at lying. Stay strong, you got this and please more videos.....even if they are Penelope and your kitty playing in your “ testicle”?????🤗👾
I feel the same. I think it's because the ones who adopt us as friends aren't really who we want as our friends. We don't gel. After a while, it seems safer to just avoid all humans because we can't find anyone who really gets us. It's exhausting to keep making excuses to the ones who want our time and energy without really reciprocating.
Good to see you again and know you are doing (mostly) o.k.. As always thanks for the great advice. I don't usually buy books (I'm low income so I prefer the library) but I did splash out and buy your book, and I really enjoyed it, so thanks for writing and sharing with the world! And yes I will write you a positive review on amazon. Take care of yourself.
Hi David. I hope you're having a wonderful birthday. I love your videos, they always make me smile. I've been watching for a while now but just never said hello because I'm not very techie & ... INFJ... you know ... just keeping it stealth.
I’ve been going through some rough things personally and I totally relate to taking time for yourself. Sometimes, you just “can’t.” I’ve been pretty withdrawn lately, but I can feel myself emerging from the darkness. That being said, we missed you! Hope you’re doing well overall :). Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I'm glad you're doing well 😊 I needed to hear the listening part (I don't know how to say that without a terrible pun lol). Getting my thoughts to settle down and turning my full attention to the other person always always helps me enjoy the interaction more, when I can remember to do it. It's a practice/self-awareness thing like everything else. My strategy at events where I don't know anyone is to look for the other people in the room looking lost and awkward. They're not going to snub you because they're as happy to feel less awkward as you are.
Good to see you’re back, I like the new background, very aesthetically pleasing 😊 Yeah I haven’t been ok either for the last 3 weeks, but watching a lot of INFJ videos has helped, I’m coming out of my spiral now and back to my usual routines. Also walking along the coastline here in the UK with my regular walking group really helped me feel more relaxed and grounded.
It's habit now to factor in the hydro-static principle of controversy - all discussion lowers to the level of the least informed. I've been researching truth and lies for a quarter century and at this point it's safe to say the PTB are taking no chances that our sun will micronova mid century blasting us for the 7th time into rapid onset ice age. I'll be dead before that, or I sure don't care to be that old by the time TSHTF.. One way or another civilization is going to collapse. Kinda makes a lot of things meaningless. But gardening is always fun. 160' sq ft of garlic having a party. Seedlings on the go. Food is more important than friends, but food with friends is better for the heart and soul. Here we are. The time is now. Life goes on.
So nice that you're back! Same wonderful person. My brain kept go but what about .. and what about.. zip it such good advice. Still laughing through the comments. And yes I'll watch this again and go to a couple functions coming up. I hope one of the things you're working on is your next book. Loved the first one. Not worried about waiting because a lot of my favorite authors take their time to do it right. ( Steven King series, Patrick Rothfuss series.) All things in time and let your freak fly. (Common saying from the 70's)
I actually love people. There's bad out there but also a lot of good. I realized this after I genuinely tried to be a shut-in and ended up feeling more depressed, lol. 🤣 Such a heartwarming video, as always! Happy birthday, David!! Thank you for always inspiring us despite going through difficulties yourself. We love you and are grateful for you!
One of your best videos ever, David! When I use my Spidey gifts, people like me so much they expect me to be that way 7 days a week. No can do. I have devised a whole list of excuses for escape! And God, I never go anywhere without my own vehicle.
Okay, I am accepted into this community, yeah! Now about you, I like the green plants in your video. My best color, calming! You seem calm, and relaxed, good for you 🙃
I’m glad to see you again! Happy birthday 🎊 and I hope it’s the best one yet. I don’t make “friends” often, however I interact with others frequently and easily. I’m much better with letting them open up and just listening to what they have to say than being vulnerable myself.
Heeeey. So glad to hear from you. Welcome back from your hiatus. You have been missed. Happy belated birthday. Hope you have a blast and enjoy (please go and try some candy corn for this year🤣🤣🤣). Love the new introduction and the new aesthetic: its quite inviting and radiating. As with most times, this video has been timely. I just got a new job and have been there for 2 weeks now so I'll keep those tips in mind as I continue to make friends. I have found that with time, the awkwardness slowly goes and you start joining in conversations and getting inside jokes. Also I have found having meaningful and personal conversations also helps me make friends much easier. Again happy birthday and may this new year for you be filled with good tidings, joy and blessings. You are appreciated.
Appreciate you always James! Congrats on the new job! I have no doubt that you and that big heart of yours will have an easy time connecting with people. Wish you all the best my friend!
Hi, I recently took the MB test and found out I was an INFJ... Your channel helped me see I'm not crazy and that there are others with the same issues and best of al, there's HOPE! Thank you ☺
And to say "yes" every now and then for the invitations that arise? (enfp myself who keeps on inviting my infj friend to spend time together... He sometimes says yes haha.. and me just hoping for the next soul lifting chit chat. That's all fine. He's always with me after all, living quietly in that shiny corner of my heart... The way it is) loving you all. Xx
David, I just wanted you to know, I truly appreciate your videos. I am able to continue to understand myself. I recently found out that I am an INFJ and what a sense of OMG. I’m still doing the deep dive into understanding myself and your videos have been a great help. You are making a difference and you are amazing for helping so many. Thank you.
I find friends playing video games actually made some close meaningful connections Actually had lots of people opening up Just because of listening Good advice my bro💛
Happy Birthday David! And thanks for the reminder that I should relax and listen to people. I try too hard to figure out how to fix things but as my son once told me 'I just need you to listen'.
Best of Birthdays! Thank you for the birthday gift on your birthday. I’ve been working on the “INFJus interruptus” and generally need some rehearsal to keep comfortable to stay open and authentic in group situations with NEW people. Once there’s a trust there, I’m much more free to be myself; whomever I am that day!
- How do you make new friends as an INFJ?
- I don't. I keep losing the old ones.
Same same. I used to worry it was depression but I've realized it's the opposite. I'm just happier hanging out with me n not shallow people
lol
I look at it as just outgrowing the old relationships. We as INFJ’s are always working to be better people, to better ourselves. If the people around us aren’t growing with us it can definitely cause them to either be confused because we’ve “changed” to much for them or we’ve finally learned to set boundaries for ourselves and they can’t understand it causing us to finally see their true colors and the true depth of that relationship so we move on. I definitely believe in the mindset of friends for a season. You will find new friends that fit into your life, it just may not be in the ways you expect. ❤️ I too have lost some friends, especially since becoming a mom. I’m also starting to make new ones and I’ve met them where I never would have thought.
Same.
@@jaclynwright9684 Thank you ). I agree overall. But that doesn't sound like my case though. In my case I can't really say I've lost friends who are either not so good people, or don't want to grow with me or are shallow or are toxic for me or otherwise not good for me in any way. Those who I think of as "lost" friends are actually very good people with many of which I was very close for many-many years, even decades. But somehow in the past few years things have changed in that our paths and lifestyles have become so different that I no longer feel we have a lot or anything in common to connect about at all, we no longer share the same interests and values, so there isn't so much of common understanding any more, I don't feel like I can relate to them the same way (perhaps because I've become a much more sarcastic and cynical fruit myself haha, but it's true), plus the isolation during the pandemic emphasized that, and I don't even feel drawn to them myself so much, so we kind of lose connection and then I become too lazy to contact them and keep the friendship going. Or another reason is that some of them are no longer interested in me, which hurts, but I won't throw myself at anybody or force myself into anybody's life, right? So in the end they become a "lost" friend by choice so to speak in order to keep my dignity. That's my case ).
Lately I caught myself thinking that I can't even say if I even have real friends now, even one, or not. Can't say I suffer greatly from it but objectively thinking this is probably a pretty sad fact. Especially given the fact that at this stage in my life I no longer want to be the one initiating things all the time ), so perhaps I am destined to be alone (not lonely necessarily, because I have my family who loves me and all) because I'm stubborn like that haha )), but will see. I try to let life be right now, and think less about things in general, just shut down my freakin' mind lol and let life and things just be and let myself just be ). Thank you for taking the time to reply to my comment ).
Yeah, all listening to people has gotten me is the role of emotional tampon. They don’t return the favor.
Emotional tampon. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ded!!!! That's brilliant.
I felt that in my soul. 100%
I get it we're weird
So let's be friends by being weird together
So true 🤣🤣give em an inch, some can take a freaking mile... get a puppy! It’s the one ❤️
Same here!
My secret technique for making friends is observation. Pay attention to what people do as much as what they say. If you notice something interesting that is your opportunity! Ask about it. You’ll be shocked how fast things develop. 😀
💯
thank you very much for this advice. i will be more observant in the future
That is essentially what I do all the time!
@@TheOgreMan me too
David, there is no explanation needed. I hope you got some good “you” time in, fellow INJF 👽!
I'm working on it! Thank you!
Here’s a fun little problem I’ve discovered about myself. I don’t know if it’s an introvert thing or an extroverted feeling thing, but I cannot pay attention to myself when I’m around other people. I have to focus 100% of my attention on what’s going on and how everyone else is feeling and dealing with what’s happening and I guess I go on autopilot. The moment I’m alone again, I look back on the event and wonder “who was that? Cause it wasn’t me.” It’s such a weird thing but it makes me feel like no one will ever be able to truly see who I am cause I can’t focus on showing my true self and focus on them at the same time.
That could be because INFJs tend to see the ability to adapt themselves as crucial (caus in childhood it truly was) and so you might feel the need to focus on others 100% to make sure you'll be able to adapt as well as possible...because otherwise you might unconsciously think you might get abandoned, cause the other person's might not view you as "good enough" or "too different" etc.
Maybe try to become aware that you are a "main character", too (the main character in your own life, even also when you're around other people), just like the others. And that you don't need to adapt but that people who want to be part of your life and presence have to fit or adapt to YOU. And that it's okay if they don't, cause you don't need their approval etc to be "good enough" or "not too different".
Then really try it out in social situations, try to feel your body and emotions and witness your thoughts, actively decide in that moments to make this a higher priority than recognizing the other people's stuff and tuning in or adapting. Maybe this helps you as it helped me. Greetings
I think it's the IN thing. I can relate. You have just described perfectly how I feel in a social situation. It's probably the reason social gatherings wear us out.
It's 100% us to be that way. It's kind of cool, like having a super power.
Our sweet,sweet INFJ,it is absolutely ok for you to take time for yourself. But it sure is nice to see your face
Thanks! Good to be back on here!
Omg the feeling of needing to interrupt someone because we had a great thought we feel like we just need to share! You’re 100% right... I really really need to work on being aware of that and stopping myself.
It definitely takes practice! I had someone help me a long time ago at work and it made a huge difference in my interactions!
Happy birthday, David. You are our dear sweet INFJ! Stay safe and healthy. Cheers 🥂
Thank you so much! Cheers!!
I've found the easiest way to listen is to ask questions. People love being queried because it helps them organize their thoughts. Because I'm an interactive learned, (NF) it's easier to attend to what the other says if I'm engaged in seeking information and expanding the conversation.
An aside about being social: One of the ways to prevent Alzheimer's is to be involved with communicating with interesting and/or engaging people. I was reading about exercise being good for the brain when I found the bit about social interaction.
PS: David your plants are looking good. The light across your bookshelves is very Zen.
I really needed this,when you said NOBODY CARES it was like taking a weight off my chest. I always thought nobody would like me and never took any initiative to speak to people unless they do,usually being like this made me have no friends but now I realize the problem was with me all along,and I really care about a lot as you said but from here on I am going to think 'Nobody cares' when I take all things seriously........this really helped me,thank you.
and yeah,happy birthday,hope you are good and happy.
I'm so glad it helped!
Thoughts while I'm still listening to you talk. 1) As an INFJ, I always tend to see myself as an "extroverted introvert". To me, introvert doesn't mean I hate people. It means that after xx amount of time around them I need to run home and recharge in peace and quiet with my books, my cats, my video games, my arts & crafts supplies ... whatever it takes. 2) As an older INFJ, I'm learning how to be comfortable both around people and without them. Especially since the past year has dealt me a lot of big changes, some of which I should be more freaked out about (but I'm surprisingly calm considering). Basically, the older we get, the better we get at coping. 3) Happy Birthday, fellow Taurian! Mine was yesterday (the 13th) and I just hit the big 5-0. Wow, I'm still getting used to that one! :D
I'm a few years behind you but I'll get there too! And YES absolutely - as a mature INFJ things just hit a little different, that's all. Perspective shift!
🥳🎁🎈Hope you had a great one.
I sure hope we get better at coping because the older we get, the more seriously tough stuff in life becomes naturally more abundant. Not to say seriously tough stuff doesn’t happen when we are younger of course! I’m an older infj and man this past couple of years has put my coping skills to the test, which I can admit confidently I have failed a few times of late, or at least barely received a C-, lol. I’m commenting because I’m with you, I honestly love people and find almost everyone’s life so fascinating (one on one), but I sure hate how I allow myself to feel disappointed in people’s behaviors sometimes. Not always, but enough that it gnaws at me and I pull away to be alone for a while. I’m thinking more and more that alone (like you, with cats, video games and crafts) is where I really want to be. Until I get that urge to hear about someone else’s fascinating life lol. I need people as much as I need to be alone and that, my fellow infjs, is a damn cruel joke! How rude for my personality to make me this way! We hates it. I wish you all the best with the changes in your life💕 I am right there with ya!
i feel as though i am exactly the same way. it feels good to know there are more people out there with the same personality
I have been learning so much about myself, and really how the world works through my own eyes after discovering MBTI. About how dysfunctional I was, and how to work on myself. Learning that I'm not the weirdo in the group, just the me. Just me.
This channel, and a few others has really opened up my mind about how I'm built. Especially the Spider Cow loop. Most importantly how to stay balanced, and sane around the narcissist.
One thing that stands out is how often strangers will open up to me. Even just casual conversation, which these days is a rare thing. To talk to a stranger. Often it's dictated by the amount of time I'm actually out and about. Hermitty (new word) describes me, but I have a pull to go out and, well... Absorb being around others.
Then I go home to activate my hermit super powers. After a long bout of "people-ing," nothing beats being in my favorite chair with my huge three toed fluffy monster slippers.
Maybe it's my eyeballs. They invite friendly conversation. It's nice because conversation betwixt strangers feels so earnest. Sometimes I pretend to sleep when the introvert in me has both hands on the wheel. Usually it's a waiting room situation. Ooh, the waiting room.
It’s so true, I,ve been doing my shut in thing. My husband took me out this weekend, and we had all kinds of interesting things happen. I’ve been forcing myself to go out and i don’t have a lot to say but i am always listening, and people seem to like to talk to me. I don’t know why but they do. I just need to be more relaxed with who I am and just go with it.
All the INFJs I follow have recently disappeared from making UA-cam content (including myself 😆). I hope you enjoyed your break!
I did! Happy to get back to it, so here's to more INFJ-y stuff!
#hibernation
First off, PLANTS wow! 😂😂
And your pad is super cool looking industrial treehouse! I love it.
Right?! It's pretty awesome here, a great nest a few floors up watching the world go by!
😂 Remember that time I accidentally called you testicle....love it, love it and love it!!!
I just about died laughing, You made my day thank you.
Happy birthday! 🎂🎈🎉
Thank you so much!
I never interrupt somebody else. I almost don't open my mouth to speak instead 😅
Thanks for that. I agree with you, and I have to say that as I've matured, I have come to treasure my "uniqueness" as an INFJ. When I stop the inner chatter, and - as you say - really listen, people notice, and they do appreciate it - so few people really listen, much less have empathy. I also notice things that are funny or ironic or an oxymoron - and when I point it out to people, they laugh! I love making stupid jokes, just to get a laugh. ("What's that? You want an example? Oh...okay...Did you hear about the big merger between FedEx and UPS? Well, the new company is going to be called "FED UP!")
Although I naturally tend to prefer "deep" conversations, I work at making the other person comfortable talking with me, even if it's just small talk. I'm at a point where I can trust my gut instincts - so I can relax and be friendly with someone if I feel that they're "safe". A suit of armor is great protection...but it gets awfully heavy after awhile...Yes, you can...just relax and enjoy others' company.
You'll know your vlogger is an INFJ when you see gaps of time between strings of vlogs. LOL. CLASSIC SIGN. ;) You're in good company. Also, thank you for this today. I desperately needed to hear this. Thank you thank you thank you
Pretty new here, also an INFJ. Greetings and best wishes from N.H.
Welcome! Lived in NH for 15 years!
Make friends? I just smile and say hi! I have a sense of humor about the most mundane or things and people I treasure. I love to listen...
Great way to go about it Michelle!
Hilarious... I'm such a good listener that people confess the craziest stuff to me all the time and Dangit,I want paid, as a therapist because it's so hard to take all their Crap on my soul🤪
@@shanefogelsanger7542 we are deeply suited to be counselors!
Welcome back! I think we all understand " down time".
This video was so timely. I was googling " how to find friends"
Lol, best advice was to stop.the rattling in my head, and shut up! Active listening.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Yay! Thank you!
Happy birthday, David! Of course you're a Taurus. You share the same birthday as Mark Zuckerberg and my friend, Peter Sapper.
I have rather easy to make "friends",acquaintances, by just listening. I'm not shy, more just "very into listening/socializing building relationship for 1 hour" and then very much about getting home. Deep friendship takes time and it's something different. I've enjoyed the possibility to stay at home. A little to much.
"Stop talking about your needs and issues"... Seriously, I hardly never do that. Only to my parents. I reveal very little about myself. But, I do need to listen more. Thanks for the video. Where do I find a penguin shop?
Hey this might sound kinda strange, but I’ve been thinking about this for awhile. I think it would be impactful if you did a video about pain in INFJ’s and others. Like how INFJ’s deal with emotional pain within themselves and in others. More specifically when it involves a dark triad type taking advantage of and hurting others. I know it’s kinda dark but I think that’s how it feels for a lot of people during this whole thing. It’s just a thought
You're right, it isn't in the nature..I love to and I wish to socialize more. It's just that at that place,in that very moment sometimes things start holding me back...kinda making me anxious. But only sometimes ...now.
Happiest birthday to you:)
Well said! And thank you!
Love all the pants in the background. I'm glad to hear you are doing ok. :)
Just be you... LoL! A weirdo!! I love that there are people like me.
When I realised I needed to have a job working with people to get out of the ni/ti loop and to feel fulfilled I was both relieved I'd worked it out but terrified at the same time as I feel I'm also terrible at people things .... if that makes sense
My bell notification seems not to be working, but I found your latest nonetheless. As always, I enjoyed your thoughts.
Although I'm most definitely, absolutely, entrenchedly, and nearly completely an introvert according to all definitions - I'll grudgingly admit that I need people. That realization dawned long ago, but boy how the masks have driven that point home. Though can be happy alone for long periods, I need doses of at least being able to watch real people. Social media is no substitute. Conversation is a bigger hurdle. I cannot talk or listen in a group without becoming overwhelmed. Interacting with one or two at a time, and I'm fine, but more than that, and I either fade into the woodwork, flee, or jump in become the very superficial waste of time which I hypocritically abhor in others, until my brain starts shorting out and I must flee.
I would add to your point # about listening/interrupting that it is ok to throw out a relevant question or two. It shows you are listening and can subtly direct their train of thought toward what you detect as something important that they should consider, without taking over the conversation or pronouncing judgement.
There are also many people I've encountered who seem to have no capacity or inclination for anything more than superficial conversation. I probably worry too much about scaring them off, yet I do factor that into the interaction "dance" when I'm approached or approaching someone. Given the short interactions and brief time allotted to real talk, it can take years of repeated encounters for anything much to develop. It is a shock - in a good way - when a meaningful personal exchange happens. I've had few friends (none long term) but many acquaintances. OK, time to don some flippers and find a shell into which to crawl.
Tell your niece that the tentacle is a hit! At first glance on the opener, I mistook the cephalopod image for the Captain Marvel "Hydra" symbol - the sculpture reassured me. (my niece made me an eye sculpture that I love). Have a great birthday!!
When I’m with my extroverted friends I talk like I’m the most extroverted person in the group. But when I’m at places like school I’m the most introverted person there. How does that make any sense?
The environment changes! That makes a lot of sense!
@@DavidBadurina is this kind of extroverted to introverted change typical for INFJ?
@@fotbollssnack6515 I believe so. Comfort level and environment for sure, plus like I said - it is in your nature to absorb feelings from others, you need it to be well-balanced, I think.
As I am mostly blind (Partially-blind) not able to drive, have narcolepsy, have juvenile diabetes.......an escape route is not possible Most of the time, but am working to set things up so it is. I don't want to be a shut in, but I became because I couldn't see a solution. I began taking little steps to get out there because I was "in my head" too much and was feeling like I was going crazy and would die and no one would ever even understand. I thought, if that would happen.....what a waste! One more person down underwater. Like in the Titanic, imagine people treading water and trying to stay afloat and one by one they go down and you're still treading. You look around and you start to wonder should I still be treading or should I just let go? I didn't want to be one more thing that would be discouraging to somebody else. The idea that that boat could be coming around for even that somebody else but because I give up they give up, will that field me to do something. So I kept treading and then I started reaching out by putting myself out there. I stepped out of my comfort zone and began taking ballroom dance classes. I love dance. I never fostered that publicly but was dancing in my bedroom for years and years as exercise. But I was working to master it. So as an infj personality type I couldn't bring myself to putting any kind of spotlight on myself. It felt selfish or something. And I still feel that way to some extent. But the thing is, whenever I would get out there and just do my thing people would always have such a positive reaction and big smiles on their faces and that made me feel good. So the classes were affordable which I didn't have very much money, and the place that taught the classes was a walk away. Anyways one small step led to another step and self-talk has changed. I'm now on the journey to allowing myself to be expressing who I am a little more, and at the same time being that listener that you describe for us to be like. I am making friends, and I am become more independent which has been very empowering. And it all started with one little thing that led to another little thing that led to freedom. As an infj personality type I don't know that we'd ever truly be free in mind, but we can if we work at it. What makes me free in my mind is knowing that I've done everything I could and try level best to not live with regrets. Whether or not somebody can see that or not doesn't matter anymore because I know it. I feel like anybody who's has any sense would see that. And I do have family that does. So watch for blind girl that plays in the APA League. I'm new at it, but in a short time I'm really good. I hope I can be inspiring. It doesn't matter I am too many people are not cuz I already am to my family. But the idea that it doesn't have to be just family, but a positive thing of my life to affect others in a positive way is motivation. The world sucks, but I can be somebody that maybe helps the world not suck so much. If I can make people smile, or laugh, or I can help them just by being me in some way, that is my goal. So the point is it doesn't have to be a big thing like we make it out in our minds.
Just one little thing at a time.
* Get control of your self-talk.
* Take steps to make small changes and small ones so it's not so overwhelming a thought to even do.
* Be yourself without worrying too much about what others think about what your interests are or whatever.
* Stop thinking about what you can't do and start thinking about what you can do.
* Parent yourself. How would you Foster that child?
*Remember not everybody needs to know your plans or how you do, the doing is enough said.
*Just shine by being you!
*And slow down and be a good listener.
*Make sure the people that are talking felt heard by you as you yourself would like to be. Just imagine it's you.
*Think of other ways to be heard yourself. Such as a blog Instagram. I have found much support through my Instagram from people from all different countries. It is a great outlet.
* Simplify for the big picture.
Much love to this channel and all the people that comment! It is very encouraging and very very helpful! 💕☺️
Well hey there 👋 🖤 Love the new intro. I mean…a winking 🐙 ? Yes please. Can’t wait for the “live” - I’m certain it will be awesome. Oh, and 🎶 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! 🎶
😁 Thank you! So glad you dig the octopus! That was quite a task to get that wink and the 'bing' sound to be on point lol.
😆 I appreciate the “bing”. It was worth the extra effort. Just realized we were born just 4 month apart! Depeche Mode & Dr. Martens 4 life. #genx
@@DavidBadurina a girl can never get any credit around here, jeez 🤣
@Jaclynn's Jungle This is my public thank you for perfectionisting @ me so hard that I was forced to improve my color scheme and banner or risk irritating the shit out of you. 😜
Also I'm sorry I blew out your eardrum with the wrong 'bing' but also I'm certain it was 100% quieter than ice.
I have a hard time going out… I’m 44 and I only have a few friends I occasionally communicate with them online only. My mom keeps telling me to “get out there!” I don’t even know how or where or something… I’d rather deal with a book than people…
Happy Birthday!!! I hope it is the best one yet!!! 🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉
I make friends pretty easily since I'm an ambivert but my problem is keeping friends over the long term. Also, all the extroverts get butt hurt when I go into hermit mode so that isn't always helpful either.
I just try to accept who I have in my life currently and the flow of change that life brings.
Hi friends I’ve never met and probably never will, nice to not feel so..... different. Thanks David and happy birthday 🎂
Always good to take a break David. No explanation needed. This is a very cool video. There was a guy in my dorm that dressed up as a condom😂. I am seriously the anxiety INFJ gal that interrupts😂. I do go foraging at a local park so occasionally I do have an opportunity for a mini lesson for a passerby because weird hippie lady picking weeds seems to interest people. Saving the best for last-Happy Birthday David!!!! Sending you lots of hugs and love from NJ🤗❤️
Great video ( I really enjoy your honest, and open first hand perspective on INFJ issues )
They are very relatable insights, which is rare when we feel so misunderstood.
We all understand needing to recharge, I personally save any vacation time
I receive, for random meltdowns. When isolating is a must, and not doing
so can be life altering - blowing up on friends, family, your boss, a random slow -
driver. And feeling like an anger driven wrecking ball that just needs be isolated
in order to avoid self sabotage.
Anyway thanks, your advice is very thoughtful, sounds like our inner monologue brought to light.
Hi David, Happy Birthday & thanks for the advice on interrupting people talking, I do that a lot when having conversations with my few friends 👍👍
Me too! Takes effort to relax and be present!
I allow people to speak and I try to understand where they're coming from, then they want to be friends. But I wish I could make friends who have similar beliefs, values and ways of looking at things.
It's hard to find the right people out there which is why I stick to virtual friends I can find, who value and have experienced things I have. I overthink & over analyse in person, its a state of mind I can't fight away, but I overthink to let go, which ends up with me stuck in that state of mind. Opening up is always difficult because you can't voice anything and end up sounding so dumb and now you've gave the wrong impression. Wish I could care less and have it easy and just let things flow like in writing.
You're like the most understanding of anyone I know, and I don't even know you 😅 Thanks, now go enjoy your birthday!!
David so nice to watch your video again. I am great ant socializing. Problem: I open up and get booted in the ass. This is why dogs are my choice of socialization,🤐
I find listening very beneficial. People love good listeners; it makes the other person feel supportive and conveys confidence in them.
So true!
We really listen because we can understand and find people and their experiences very interesting
Absolutely Matilda!
Always important to listen to yourself when you need a break 💯
I'm proud of my progress with getting back to socializing, last week I went out with a group to a museum and a walk. Had fun.
As far as making friends I totally agree with Chris Regan! You are sport on! David great to see you love changes!,,🤗
Happy Birthday, David!!!
edit: also, you and your words really resonated with me today. I always vibe with you, fellow INFJ. But I think I really needed to hear this. Thank you.
Yes! Thank you!
Great to see you back, David!
Hello friends!
I love meeting people at workshops and classes where people have similar passions or interests. The best thing is going into these situations with NO expectation of making friends... Just to enjoy the experience and be myself. The people who are interested will connect with you. Once again, still have NO expectation of the subsequent contact going anywhere. Use it as an opportunity to learn about the other person. Great people will return the opportunity for you to share your story. Then you never know where things will go. Remember, no expectations.
Hello David.....Happy Birthday today!! Hope today is a great day for you! Nice to see you here again. Like the backdrop of the shelves and the new intro.
Very insightful subject for these times of "getting out". I often found that groups focused on a single subject matter helps make things better for introverts - the subject matter takes the nervousness out. For example, I used to go up to the National Weather Service in Memphis for monthly AMS meetings with forecasters and other AMS members. I did the same when living in Los Angeles. I was a "social butterfly" there, all because I was focused on the meteorology and the sharing of experiences in that subject. So that is how I roll the best in social settings, pick and choose the subject matter that the meeting will be about, and let the dynamics take over. Looking forward to the Live Stream soon! Cheers, Jeff
Try to leave a party when your husband is an introvert feeling ekstrovert😉.
D.B. Happy Womb Independence day anniversary?
You channel and your posts have been invaluable help to me and I greatly appreciate them. Thank you!
Also seeing as you like that tentacle sculpture have you watched My Octopus Teacher on Netflix, it’s a beautiful wildlife documentary, very moving, it’s got a really great story to it too. It’s about a documentary film maker and his journey to better mental health, while making friends with an octopus 🐙 And it won the Oscar for best documentary.
Happy birthday brother!
Thank you for your inspirational message :)
I used to be reluctant to connect. Following a spiritual experience I started seeing people differently. I began 'recognising' people. Not in the way that I'd met them before. More approaching a connection with curiosity, and faith that given a little time, there will be more common bonds between us than difference. A kind of pre-recognition of our similarity. This now gives me confidence when I meet humans for the first time to initiate connection.
I hope your message encourages more of of us INFJs to have the courage to connect x
very encouraging. i was always reluctant, learning to open more and more each day
Hi David! Happy Birthday! So good to see a new You Tube video from you. I’ve missed you! Whatever you say always resonates with me. I don’t make friends easily. I tend to join a new group and then meet people that way or people leave my workplace and we keep in touch. It isn’t easy. I’m an infj and awkward and find it hard to connect with some people. By the way, this is my first ever comment post - yikes!
Happy Birthday David! Hope you've had an awesome one! Blessings... 🎁️🎈🎂
Welcome back David! Good to see you! Ughhhhhh you have your bossy pants on but FINE....I’m listening so be it. PEOPLE.....UGHHHHH......I hear you though we do need them. I’m going over to Amazon now to order my scuba flippers. Probably going to need them venturing out. 👽❤️👽
Happy Birthday!
Also, why do you know me so well :D When you said "shut up!" I knew perfectly what's that about ;)
Happy Birthday!
Hope you have a great Birthday!
^(^ ^)^
Love the new intro and outro.
Love how the tune from the old opening is still used in the outro.
And I probably misspelled outro....Eh moving on...
“Perpetual identity crisis,” never related more to a statement especially since having an identity crisis has been more common this past year for me.
You can tell your niece that the tentacle looks amazing.
Aside from all that, I have a hard time keeping friends in my life.
I think as a kid I used my social Chameleon thing to socialize.
I still use it naturally often unintentionally.
But anyway whenever I made a friend I was always kind and stuff everything went well.
Then when I try to stay in contact I’m usually ignored.
So I figured that they didn’t want me in their lives anymore.
So I stayed out and it ended up being a permanent thing.
Though I will say I have made one friend who has continued to be my friend and who reached out to see how I was doing.
I remember nearly breaking down by that since none of my previous friends had done that.
I let her know just how thankful I was for her and that grew our friendship.
But yeah I have few friends but I love the friends I have very deeply.
So that’s my experience with making and keeping friends.
Loved this video!
^(^ ^)^
I used to have too many friends. Everybody wanted to be around me. M/F. Never had to try. Skipped school just to have a day away by myself. ( didn’t understand then). Now I avoid humans like the plague. Yet I still get coffee invites or lunch. I hate it. My anxiety goes up and I try to lie my way out. Ummm I suck at lying. Stay strong, you got this and please more videos.....even if they are Penelope and your kitty playing in your “ testicle”?????🤗👾
I feel the same. I think it's because the ones who adopt us as friends aren't really who we want as our friends. We don't gel. After a while, it seems safer to just avoid all humans because we can't find anyone who really gets us. It's exhausting to keep making excuses to the ones who want our time and energy without really reciprocating.
Good to see you back! Completely understand the need for recharge.
Good to see you again and know you are doing (mostly) o.k.. As always thanks for the great advice. I don't usually buy books (I'm low income so I prefer the library) but I did splash out and buy your book, and I really enjoyed it, so thanks for writing and sharing with the world! And yes I will write you a positive review on amazon. Take care of yourself.
Thanks so much Karen! I appreciate you!
Happy Birthday, David. Hope your day is a positive one!🎂😊
Hi David. I hope you're having a wonderful birthday. I love your videos, they always make me smile. I've been watching for a while now but just never said hello because I'm not very techie & ... INFJ... you know ... just keeping it stealth.
I’ve been going through some rough things personally and I totally relate to taking time for yourself. Sometimes, you just “can’t.” I’ve been pretty withdrawn lately, but I can feel myself emerging from the darkness. That being said, we missed you! Hope you’re doing well overall :). Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy birthday David! Wish you a peaceful lucky year. 💗
Glad to see your back, hope ya did all ya wanted to do, happy new leaf turn over, and getting a bit older and wider if course. JvR
I'm glad you're doing well 😊 I needed to hear the listening part (I don't know how to say that without a terrible pun lol). Getting my thoughts to settle down and turning my full attention to the other person always always helps me enjoy the interaction more, when I can remember to do it. It's a practice/self-awareness thing like everything else. My strategy at events where I don't know anyone is to look for the other people in the room looking lost and awkward. They're not going to snub you because they're as happy to feel less awkward as you are.
this video was very helpful to me as well.glad it was able to help you as well
Are you monetized now. This way I will watch ads. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY 🎂 🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🎂🇨🇦🇨🇦
I totally get it but we sure missed you. I hope you enjoyed your you time 😊 ~fellow alien INFJ
Happy Birthday, my fellow Taurus mine is the 15th. 😀
Happy birthday 🎂🎁 I hope you're having a great day!
Also - your book is truly amazing! 👌
Thank you so much!
Good to see you’re back, I like the new background, very aesthetically pleasing 😊 Yeah I haven’t been ok either for the last 3 weeks, but watching a lot of INFJ videos has helped, I’m coming out of my spiral now and back to my usual routines. Also walking along the coastline here in the UK with my regular walking group really helped me feel more relaxed and grounded.
Happy Birthday! Live Long and prosper.
It's habit now to factor in the hydro-static principle of controversy - all discussion lowers to the level of the least informed. I've been researching truth and lies for a quarter century and at this point it's safe to say the PTB are taking no chances that our sun will micronova mid century blasting us for the 7th time into rapid onset ice age. I'll be dead before that, or I sure don't care to be that old by the time TSHTF.. One way or another civilization is going to collapse. Kinda makes a lot of things meaningless. But gardening is always fun. 160' sq ft of garlic having a party. Seedlings on the go. Food is more important than friends, but food with friends is better for the heart and soul. Here we are. The time is now. Life goes on.
So nice that you're back! Same wonderful person. My brain kept go but what about .. and what about.. zip it such good advice. Still laughing through the comments. And yes I'll watch this again and go to a couple functions coming up. I hope one of the things you're working on is your next book. Loved the first one. Not worried about waiting because a lot of my favorite authors take their time to do it right. ( Steven King series, Patrick Rothfuss series.) All things in time and let your freak fly. (Common saying from the 70's)
My freak is always in flight! 🤪
I actually love people. There's bad out there but also a lot of good.
I realized this after I genuinely tried to be a shut-in and ended up feeling more depressed, lol. 🤣
Such a heartwarming video, as always! Happy birthday, David!! Thank you for always inspiring us despite going through difficulties yourself. We love you and are grateful for you!
One of your best videos ever, David! When I use my Spidey gifts, people like me so much they expect me to be that way 7 days a week. No can do. I have devised a whole list of excuses for escape! And God, I never go anywhere without my own vehicle.
You even look more rested ~ good thing!
Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday David!! Hope your day is an absolute blast!
Thanks Lea! I had a good day!
@@DavidBadurina I'm so happy you did!
Okay, I am accepted into this community, yeah! Now about you, I like the green plants in your video. My best color, calming! You seem calm, and relaxed, good for you 🙃
hi! i am a first timer, really enjoyed this video🎉 also happy late birthday fellow tauren
So glad to have you here! Thanks!
Have a Joyful existence celebration!
Thanks!! :-)
I had that then he decided he didn’t want it any more
🤗🥳🎁❤Hope time away has left you refreshed. Notice ya working on a mini jungle. 😉🌞🌱🌿🦎
I am working on my own jungle for sure, just trying to keep it to foliage I won’t kill. Obviously I have a close friend who helps me with the plants.😁
@@DavidBadurina good luck. Rooting for you. 🤗❤
I love you dude. With or without your flipper slippers 🧘♀️. You’re a ♉️ WOW
Full of Bull, that’s me! Lol.
I’m glad to see you again! Happy birthday 🎊 and I hope it’s the best one yet.
I don’t make “friends” often, however I interact with others frequently and easily. I’m much better with letting them open up and just listening to what they have to say than being vulnerable myself.
i am working on listening and letting people open up to me more
Thank you David. Happy Birthday!
Heeeey. So glad to hear from you. Welcome back from your hiatus. You have been missed.
Happy belated birthday. Hope you have a blast and enjoy (please go and try some candy corn for this year🤣🤣🤣).
Love the new introduction and the new aesthetic: its quite inviting and radiating.
As with most times, this video has been timely. I just got a new job and have been there for 2 weeks now so I'll keep those tips in mind as I continue to make friends.
I have found that with time, the awkwardness slowly goes and you start joining in conversations and getting inside jokes. Also I have found having meaningful and personal conversations also helps me make friends much easier.
Again happy birthday and may this new year for you be filled with good tidings, joy and blessings. You are appreciated.
Appreciate you always James! Congrats on the new job! I have no doubt that you and that big heart of yours will have an easy time connecting with people. Wish you all the best my friend!
Hi, I recently took the MB test and found out I was an INFJ... Your channel helped me see I'm not crazy and that there are others with the same issues and best of al, there's HOPE! Thank you ☺
Happy Birthday, my fellow alien! May you have a great year! Congratulations!! 🎂😀💕
Thank you!!
And to say "yes" every now and then for the invitations that arise? (enfp myself who keeps on inviting my infj friend to spend time together... He sometimes says yes haha.. and me just hoping for the next soul lifting chit chat. That's all fine. He's always with me after all, living quietly in that shiny corner of my heart... The way it is) loving you all. Xx
Thanks for this. I really needed to see this tonight! 💜
100% agree to all of this! Connection to people is so important. Happy belated birthday also! 🎉
David, I just wanted you to know, I truly appreciate your videos. I am able to continue to understand myself. I recently found out that I am an INFJ and what a sense of OMG. I’m still doing the deep dive into understanding myself and your videos have been a great help. You are making a difference and you are amazing for helping so many. Thank you.
I appreciate that Lici, thank you so much!
Great to see you back.
Loving the new titles
Great to see you here and so glad you dig the new look!
Hi David! Hope you’re doing well. Take care of yourself. Big hugs.
I found my best friend on UA-cam. Highly reccomend 😛💙
Lucky guy! 😜💜
Wait ... it is a guy, right?
I find friends playing video games actually made some close meaningful connections
Actually had lots of people opening up
Just because of listening
Good advice my bro💛
Happy Birthday David! And thanks for the reminder that I should relax and listen to people. I try too hard to figure out how to fix things but as my son once told me 'I just need you to listen'.
Best of Birthdays! Thank you for the birthday gift on your birthday. I’ve been working on the “INFJus interruptus” and generally need some rehearsal to keep comfortable to stay open and authentic in group situations with NEW people. Once there’s a trust there, I’m much more free to be myself; whomever I am that day!
Wonderful! Absolutely right!
Happy Birthday!