While social connections are crucial, they aren't always sufficient for true emotional fulfillment. The ability to sit with one's feelings and appreciate solitude can be just as vital. Many people may use social interactions to distract themselves from deeper issues rather than addressing them, leading to a persistent sense of emptiness. Integrating the development of both social and intrapersonal skills might offer a more holistic approach to address loneliness.
David Foster Wallace: "I have intelligent friends, who don't like to read. They get - it's not just bored - there's an almost dread that comes up about having to be alone and having to be quiet.”
Great podcast, thanks. One aspect of our Social Health that you guys need to emphasize is the pleasure of it. The sheer joy of interacting with people. Even little, 20 second interactions with someone you're passing in a corridor or crossing the road can be a bit of fun. We humans have biological neurotransmitters (oxytocin) that making it feel good. Remember?!
A few observations on social health. Dr. Kaufman has noted the Maslow insights that we have needs, as Maslow defined a Hierarchy, though from infant failure to thrive, through elders dying in signoficant part to theenforced desocialization of their lives in urban, stratified, and essentially unnatural nontribal cultures, wherein the focus is on the quest for survival in Social-Dominance- Oriented aberrations. A little departure from the all-too-typical colloquial prescriptive "sociocognitivd styling-, you are this or that, "preferring flitting about or otherwise avoidant interactions, might be a valid critiqje of " self-help" orientations. 1. Enough in literature, and cross-culturally, EVERYWHERE, show humans feeling MORE rewarded by having and offering something of value to others. THIS is universal, and as one might accurately note: generosity IS wealth. The feeling of lack does surely drive us, and i often poi t outthat EVERY organism since motility evolved, flagellae or whatever, is ATTRACTED toward increased resource, nurturants, whatever those be, while moving AWAY from noxious and/or toxic stimuli. We are not special in this, but reflect ALL life. It's some at least molecular drive, occurring in all surviving DNA. 2. We are hormonally- driven, to skip the basic language; endocrine, juxtacrine, and exocrine - phermonal signaling, extruded or received - we are exquisitely evolved to attend to signals. TheFrench word, "esprit" merely means mind. There is noother spooky, "spirit.". Our neuroactive compoundstell us what situations are nurturing, and what toxic signals may occur in our interactions. The latter drive individuals apart, UNLESS we act, las we animals ARE adapted to do, to " fix", develop, improve, LEARN, however unused we are todoing so. The latter incapacity, is Cultural, culture MEANING the totality of sensory input we receive, especially from that marvelous extreme synaptic connectivity we are equipped with from birth through age 5-6 , and through puberty, where significant pruning has begun,though we NEVER cease responsive growth of novel connections, until we die. We EXERCISE the relevant connections,our mysterious glial cells monitoring WHETHER a connection is stimulated, useful for the individual. 3. I think that Dr. Kaufman shares the penchant to prefer HEXACO, the 6 general trait (with about 4-5 generalized subtraits associated with each), ghat includes important social variables beyond the "big 5 or OCEAN) trait hypotheses found descriptive of psychological variations. We may not look into these sufficiently, which i hope to get to here. For example, in school, i was exposed to Fred Luskin's Stanford Forgiveness Project over 20 years ago. I did a little oral and otherwork lresenting its findings, MOST importantly, upon the fact that INTIMACY kn the subject exposed to one another, appeared to pproduce successful result. This requiredOpenness, scary tothose who were themselvesraised knan avoidant culture such as the one Scott mostly addresses in his magnificent efforts at extending Positive Psychology into " Light Triad" and other prosocial research and promotion. Becausethis is mere minor comment, i have to segueon, to Drawbacks accepted as Social Norms in our culture, with all of the extreme problems of humans enforcing those social norms. That's called, rather euphemistically, Normative Behavior, meaning COERCIVE. One can loom at every organism and term its existence and behavior, coercive, including the hormones and shade of trees, and tobe a little coercive, we MUST NOT overdiagnose some behaviors, phenotypes, or other self-interest, SO NATURAL TO EVERY LIVING THING, as toxically coercive. In humans, conservatism, as well as ingroupi g for social dominance purpose IS destructively coercive, whether to children, or to other individuals or groups. We ARE naturally conservative, as our very DNA , some of its complex webs of mutations, has SELECTED FOR this -- not survival of any "fitezt", but merely selected by what works for survival And you who have backgrounds will remember that organisms - US -- tend to evolve toward K- selection, toward greater nurturance, among other physical physiological, and psychological traits. Optimism is ALSO selected for, way down into nucleotide assemblies! Yet, we ARE selected, right through our brain architecture/connectivity, for GREATEZT response to noxious stimuli AND prospects. Never forget this, that we prioritize response to PERCEIVED threat. Our brains are predictive organs, and carefully monitor sensory inputs for possibilities. We assess, if through HIGHLY LIMITED experience, needing others, AND TRUTH, Probabilities we individually guess/estimate of likelihoods. All that obsessing we do or avoid, IS our brain's NATURAL activity, job one. To writers and speakers : Act as if you EXPECT inteligence. Our species is SMARTER than you may believe, and WILL rise to the complex occasion that is life. Afterword: just DON'T swill GABAergic compounds, even though it is "easiest" to do on your desperate Friday Nights. Your brain KNKWS its
Accidental prepostjng while correcting a spell. Your brain KNKWS your limitations, and fear of every kind IS stimulatory. If you think of things in terms of courage, you MAY be in error. INSTEAD, REMEMBER your, children's, and what you call brave, NATURAL EXUBERANCE. A thousand years ago, a traveler suggested that you sitbyTHAT. ME? I have watched ravens fly upside downplaying and cawing, wolves chest banging in ecstatic pleasure games with eachh other, dolphins exploding among surfers paddling for a wave. Let your life be THIS.
I get a sense that Scott was distracted with Kasley's beauty and was not really into the topic at hand... A part from that, I enjoyed the knowledge shared by Kasley around social wealth and social wellbeing. Thanks!
While social connections are crucial, they aren't always sufficient for true emotional fulfillment. The ability to sit with one's feelings and appreciate solitude can be just as vital. Many people may use social interactions to distract themselves from deeper issues rather than addressing them, leading to a persistent sense of emptiness. Integrating the development of both social and intrapersonal skills might offer a more holistic approach to address loneliness.
David Foster Wallace: "I have intelligent friends, who don't like to read. They get - it's not just bored - there's an almost dread that comes up about having to be alone and having to be quiet.”
❤❤❤
Great podcast, thanks. One aspect of our Social Health that you guys need to emphasize is the pleasure of it. The sheer joy of interacting with people. Even little, 20 second interactions with someone you're passing in a corridor or crossing the road can be a bit of fun. We humans have biological neurotransmitters (oxytocin) that making it feel good. Remember?!
A few observations on social health.
Dr. Kaufman has noted the Maslow insights that we have needs, as Maslow defined a Hierarchy, though from infant failure to thrive, through elders dying in signoficant part to theenforced desocialization of their lives in urban, stratified, and essentially unnatural nontribal cultures, wherein the focus is on the quest for survival in Social-Dominance- Oriented aberrations.
A little departure from the all-too-typical colloquial prescriptive "sociocognitivd styling-, you are this or that, "preferring flitting about or otherwise avoidant interactions, might be a valid critiqje of " self-help" orientations.
1. Enough in literature, and cross-culturally, EVERYWHERE, show humans feeling MORE rewarded by having and offering something of value to others. THIS is universal, and as one might accurately note: generosity IS wealth. The feeling of lack does surely drive us, and i often poi t outthat EVERY organism since motility evolved, flagellae or whatever, is ATTRACTED toward increased resource, nurturants, whatever those be, while moving AWAY from noxious and/or toxic stimuli.
We are not special in this, but reflect ALL life. It's some at least molecular drive, occurring in all surviving DNA.
2. We are hormonally- driven, to skip the basic language; endocrine, juxtacrine, and exocrine - phermonal signaling, extruded or received - we are exquisitely evolved to attend to signals. TheFrench word, "esprit" merely means mind. There is noother spooky, "spirit.". Our neuroactive compoundstell us what situations are nurturing, and what toxic signals may occur in our interactions. The latter drive individuals apart, UNLESS we act, las we animals ARE adapted to do, to " fix", develop, improve, LEARN, however unused we are todoing so.
The latter incapacity, is Cultural, culture MEANING the totality of sensory input we receive, especially from that marvelous extreme synaptic connectivity we are equipped with from birth through age 5-6 , and through puberty, where significant pruning has begun,though we NEVER cease responsive growth of novel connections, until we die.
We EXERCISE the relevant connections,our mysterious glial cells monitoring WHETHER a connection is stimulated, useful for the individual.
3. I think that Dr. Kaufman shares the penchant to prefer HEXACO, the 6 general trait (with about 4-5 generalized subtraits associated with each), ghat includes important social variables beyond the "big 5 or OCEAN) trait hypotheses found descriptive of psychological variations.
We may not look into these sufficiently, which i hope to get to here. For example, in school, i was exposed to Fred Luskin's Stanford Forgiveness Project over 20 years ago. I did a little oral and otherwork lresenting its findings, MOST importantly, upon the fact that INTIMACY kn the subject exposed to one another, appeared to pproduce successful result.
This requiredOpenness, scary tothose who were themselvesraised knan avoidant culture such as the one Scott mostly addresses in his magnificent efforts at extending Positive Psychology into " Light Triad" and other prosocial research and promotion.
Becausethis is mere minor comment, i have to segueon, to Drawbacks accepted as Social Norms in our culture, with all of the extreme problems of humans enforcing those social norms. That's called, rather euphemistically, Normative Behavior, meaning COERCIVE.
One can loom at every organism and term its existence and behavior, coercive, including the hormones and shade of trees, and tobe a little coercive, we MUST NOT overdiagnose some behaviors, phenotypes, or other self-interest, SO NATURAL TO EVERY LIVING THING, as toxically coercive. In humans, conservatism, as well as ingroupi g for social dominance purpose IS destructively coercive, whether to children, or to other individuals or groups.
We ARE naturally conservative, as our very DNA , some of its complex webs of mutations, has SELECTED FOR this -- not survival of any "fitezt", but merely selected by what works for survival
And you who have backgrounds will remember that organisms - US -- tend to evolve toward K- selection, toward greater nurturance, among other physical physiological, and psychological traits.
Optimism is ALSO selected for, way down into nucleotide assemblies! Yet, we ARE selected, right through our brain architecture/connectivity, for GREATEZT response to noxious stimuli AND prospects.
Never forget this, that we prioritize response to PERCEIVED threat. Our brains are predictive organs, and carefully monitor sensory inputs for possibilities. We assess, if through HIGHLY LIMITED experience, needing others, AND TRUTH, Probabilities we individually guess/estimate of likelihoods.
All that obsessing we do or avoid, IS our brain's NATURAL activity, job one.
To writers and speakers : Act as if you EXPECT inteligence. Our species is SMARTER than you may believe, and WILL rise to the complex occasion that is life.
Afterword: just DON'T swill GABAergic compounds, even though it is "easiest" to do on your desperate Friday Nights. Your brain KNKWS its
Accidental prepostjng while correcting a spell.
Your brain KNKWS your limitations, and fear of every kind IS stimulatory.
If you think of things in terms of courage, you MAY be in error.
INSTEAD, REMEMBER your, children's, and what you call brave, NATURAL EXUBERANCE.
A thousand years ago, a traveler suggested that you sitbyTHAT.
ME? I have watched ravens fly upside downplaying and cawing, wolves chest banging in ecstatic pleasure games with eachh other, dolphins exploding among surfers paddling for a wave.
Let your life be THIS.
I get a sense that Scott was distracted with Kasley's beauty and was not really into the topic at hand... A part from that, I enjoyed the knowledge shared by Kasley around social wealth and social wellbeing. Thanks!
speak for yourself bro