6 THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE THERAPY
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- Опубліковано 30 чер 2024
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My 2 cents: find a therapist who holds you accountable and doesn't encourage playing victim. Narcissists can get therapy too. My narcissistic & rageful brother came back from therapy with a diagnosis for everyone else in the family. Zero self reflection, everything was everyone else's fault.
.I had already been going to therapy for years, I'm happily healed now, forgiving the mistakes of others and realising we are all flawed😊. Half of the pain went when I forgave in my heart. Including my brother. (I have to keep boundaries)
Absolutely!
I have Borderline/ Emotionally Unstable personality disorder. I have sat in a group with people diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality disorder and Anti-social Personality disorder. My view is that if someone has a personality disorder, they need intensive psychotherapy with an individual therapist and a group therapy session for a minimum a year. People with personality disorders feel unheard, stigmatized, and invalidated. Most are dealing with Complex PTSD and intense self-hatred. They use manipulation and anger because in the past that was the only thing that would get them attention to have a need met. They are also probably neurodivergent with Autistic traits and sensory processing disorder traits. People are not born with personality disorders. They are born with susceptibilities and then how their family and society treat them creates the personality disorder. I remember being 4 years old and becoming overwhelmed with intense anxiety and dread...that didn't come from nowhere..I felt insecure and unsafe and no one talked to me about it. No one comforted me and no one noticed that I was feeling this way. Translate that into adulthood and you get the maladaptive and dysfunctional behaviours. I keep my boundaries but I offer support for those with Narcissistic Personality disorder and Anti-social Personality disorder. Even if they are raging, I still listen.
My sister is attending therapy after abusing her family for years. No doubt she has many hurts in her past, but I am afraid she will only be boosted up by a therapist who sees her side of things
As a therapist who has been going through her own therapy journey for the past 6 years, I find this video to be very sincere and helpful. It is important to be reminded that everyone's process is different. But thank you for being real about yours. It's definitely not an instant fix of rainbows and butterflies. You've gotta put in the work with a trusty companion.
I might as well add that there are many different types of psychotherapy some would work for some people while others may not. So, it would be beneficial to do some brief research about types of therapy. Still, don't just give up on therapy because of an awkward encounter with a therapist or a type of therapy that did not seem to work for you. Hopefully, anyone who is seeking therapy gets the opportunity to form a healthy bond with a therapist to their liking when they are ready to welcome change into their lives.
The Holy Spirit is my therapist I went to therapy and it wasn’t for me so I just started my journey with Christ and he literally healed me in 4 months
As a Therapist, I completely approve of this message. Thanks for bringing light to the importance of authenticity and patience.
Therapy is encouraged a lot more these days but people rarely talk about the struggles of therapy (other than the expense of it). Thank you so much Breeny, because I've found what you mentioned paramount. It's not an easy process but so worth it!❤❤
Although my therapy journey has been put on hold, I am more reflective/honest with how I contribute to my problems. Whether it's a lack of boundaries and assertiveness, emotional dysregulation, or avoiding conflict, I've become more aware of when I'm playing the victim.
My therapist said things I already knew so I stopped
It might have been the wrong type of therapy for you. There's a difference between knowing what you should do and knowing why you don't do the things that you know you should do.
Maybe try it again and get another therapist. It could be really hard to find the right fit and some people just aren't good at the job additionally. Maybe you needed to hear those things and embrace them because maybe you knew them. But you weren't doing much with the information. Either way you know yourself and I wish you beautiful things
@Created To Teach tho I was already doing much of the information & I'm gonna try something else now, but thanks for your response :)
@Marley Hill i don't want therapy. It's rn too expensive for me, so I'm going to try something else ☺️
@@Nis6832 ok your decision. I use BetterHelp for the individual therapist and the group therapy at 180 per month. I can afford it with my disability payment and my part-time job. Before I was unemployed and in debt and in and out of the hospital to due to no therapy. I do not want to go back there so I am sticking with the online ones and I go to the free ones by charities and 12-step groups. I'm breaking this generational curse and generational trauma, if it's the last and only thing I do with my life. Godspeed on your journey.
Thank you for bringing awareness to this topic. We need to educate and comfortably speak about mental health. ❤😊 Thank you for sharing. Let’s be strong together!
Such great points, I love what you said about having to do the work for yourself. Often people that hold space or help in the healing process will say they can only guide you, it really is yourself that has to step up and do the work. Convos surrounding therapy are so important because it's good to know what to expect and warm ourselves up to the experience ❤
Thank you so much! This couldn't have been posted at a better time. I started counseling this month and it is definitely uncomfortable so far.
This is so helpful. And you helped me to see I am emotionally unavailable too, after you opened up about it. Being so hard on myself, being a high achiever & having incredibly high standards too. You opened my eyes to needing help, with perfectionism & wanting control. Wanting to finally talk. Needing therapy & support, as well as praying on it. Prayer alone was no longer working on deeper wounds & past hurts.
Thanks Breeny for being so vulnerable & open on your platforms talking about such taboo/difficult subjects. So your viewers can also level up with you Girl. Love you. God bless you x
Soul can cleanse it self by spiritual awaking later u will go through the dark knight of the soul.....it's a long painful journey..last 1-3 years ..u will releases all trauma , pain, abuse it goes very very very deep its a very dark time ..but after u will feel free from everything.
They saying the soul chooses the life for us . We are souls/spirits in a human body .
Off-topic: where did you get this too? Please do a makeup tutorial on this look. Omg you look amazing. You’re like a doll!
Thank you for this video, it was very much needed 💛
I would prefer therapy in person because I can actually connect with a therapist instead of online.
That is perfectly ok and for people with sensory processing traits face to face is better.
Hey Breeny, I loveeeee your content! These videos are changing my entire life, I especially needed this video as I’m considering going back to therapy soon.
Completely unrelatedly; Please, can you do a video on the Da’Naia Jackson interview?!! There are soooooo many things that need to be said, and so many women like her who make the same or similar choices who need to know what exactly they’re doing wrong in those instances. Myself included. I get that you have so many people probably asking you for specific stuff, not to mention you have your own content ideas, but I couldn’t help but wonder what gems you can add to that discussion while watching the interview. Thank you either way for all you do for us girlies depending on your wisdom. It’s changed my life for the better in so many ways!💞💞💞
It's important to have a therapist who can hold you accountable and teach you to be more self assured and self trusting/validating. However, you should reconsider your therapist when that person starts to become overly judgemental and illustrates counter-transferance/identifies too much with you--the client. (I.e. they start giving non applicable advise rather than letting you make well-founded decisions.) Therapy should be wise, compassionate and healing. A space for self reflection and empowerment. Also this should go without saying but never be with a therapist who just "note-takes." I've only had 1 or 2 therapists who were REALLY GOOD. But unfortunately had to end due to client overload and at this point, I feel healed from those past circumstances. I've learned to let go but everyone can benefit from therapy.
I had therapists who had to challenge me and I'm ok with that because I get distracted and go off on tangents and am avoidant. I have complex mental health conditions and multiple traumas and adverse experiences so I need quite specific and intensive therapy often with a group and an individual therapist....It's a different dynamic when the therapist challenges the group and the group challenges the therapist. That's what we had when we lived in communities. The individual would state their case before the group and the group would either agree or disagree and state why and resolve the conflict. Now we don't have that anymore.
Ohhhhhh 🥺 I relate so much to being mute as a child, have you spoken about this in any other videos or would you be able to talk about this experience in the future? I’m having therapy again so good timing on the video, I’m not holding anything back - being fully accountable this time around!! I’m the biggest avoidant personality type on the planet and it’s got to stop but trying to go back through childhood, teen year, young adulthood and figure out how I got to this is sooooo incredibly difficult but I know the value after the process will be so worth it. Thank you for this video 💕💜
Sorry for your condolences Breeny Lee
I do feel the need to add the following onto this convo: until therapy (not just psychiatry) is financially being taken care of by health insurance JUST like doctors-visits, it will ALWAYS have some kind of stigma and never be just as normalized as doctors-visits
You're one of my favourite youtubers ❤
Breeny,it’s okay with the “Aksss”😂😂😂we get it,and we love you like that 😂❤
Thank you for making this video ❤
You’re welcome ❤
I’ve been through a cycle of several different therapists, in different stages of my life in person and online. Some helped a little, some helped a little less and I felt it was pointless. I’ve come to the conclusion that when you find the right one (it’s almost like a level of matchmaking) it’s good to have especially in our roughest moments and we actually do the work outside of therapy, but we have to learn how to be our own therapists as well. It’s hard for someone else to help us if we can’t even figure out how to help ourselves in times we are by ourselves. A therapist isn’t there for us everyday. We are another client in their book of clients with usually an hour block of their time. Some make the most of that time, others don’t and you can tell you’re just another person they have to listen to for an hour.
Exactly! Great self reflection. Therapists aren't an instant fix and sometimes therapists can even be detrimental. It's important to find a good match. I had to go thru years of therapy from healing from a difficult childhood and abusive relationships. It took serotonin reuptake boosters, 6 different therapists, self help books, reflection journals, becoming more open with friends and family, and self trust developement to finally feel like I'm at a happy place or at least a place where I can manage my emotions/cope self reliantly. And sometimes you needa see life as a learning experience/have grace for yourself.
@@Tam974eva I spend 10 years in the wrong type of therapy. then I spent the next ten years fighting for the correct type of therapy. After 20 years it turns out that I have autistic traits....Therefore if those therapists for the last 20 years were treating me as a neurotypical no wonder the therapy wasn't as effective. I know people hate diagnosis but my diagnoses is what helped me to choose the correct therapy instead of mutliple rounds of 6 weeks of ineffective CBT. Definitely get diagnoses and do your own research into different types of therapy. Some people require multiple types of therapy because of the multiple adverse experiences that they have had over their lifetime.
Well done Breeny for raising awareness on the topic,
I too have had counselling for the past 2 years and it's the best work I've ever done on self, i have broken patterns and made changes in my life and grew mentally..
Same❤🙏🏾
You know ive been watching you for the longest breeny ...and i love you so much mob love 😍😍 but i know you arr not ok and you are going through things am just praying that God be with you and you're strong enough to get through it ....mob love big sis😍😍😍😍😍😍
I’m honestly a little disappointed with all the backlash and lawsuits betterhelp has gotten. Why are creators still promoting this?
In the UK we have free health care.....the hospital I'm with is always getting sued for negligence and malpractice....I didn't let that stop me from getting my help! I have had lots of public, private and charity therapy and counselling and I can say from my perspective in the UK that I am impressed with Better help. I suggest speaking to an individual therapist but also speaking to a group about any concerns you have about the individual therapist. This way neither the group or the individual can manipulate and isolate you and they act as a counterbalance to each other. People promotes it because it helped them. That is all. you need to understand how therapy works and not put all your faith in the therapist. You need to set your own boundaries and do your own work. Do not become co-dependent on your therapist.
You look so beautiful Breeny, you look slim and healthy. Amen 🙏🏾
A deliverance.. THAT ONE!
You look so good!
Thank you for your advice ❤
Love uuuu
❤ you back
Ty!!🎉❤
Hi, thank you so much for this video.
It was so informative and helpful. I can actually see how much you've changed (for the better). Not that you've never been open and honest before. There is definitely something more impowering about you.
You're an amazing and impressional woman, and I love all the wonderful work you are doing. Stay forever blessed, and keep up the good work 👏 🙌 👍
Ur auntie is still ur auntie . Her soul is on the other side .... she is watching you every day ...she can hear u .... they can communicate telepathically, they use sings like repetitive nr , butterflies, smells , they show themselves in dreams . Ur auntie doesn't want you to suffer life it's a short journey... u will reunite with her and other family members.
If only i could afford therapy... thank you Breeny
Lundy Bancroft '' Why does he do that''
Agreed im trying have boundaries using therapy more stop running my mouth claiming too many people as friends being toxic and manipulative.
I feel ill have keep going to therapy writing my feelings doen not panicking i had been therapy keep going. Not bad church helpw be silent. Its worse self aware about my issues . Keep more stuff to myself. Or journal removing social media i stead of being needy or bad person . God helps so much stablised me especially medication .
Can we walk out at any point of the session?
❤
Hi Breeny sending 💕 🫂 🤗
Study/meditate chapters 21 & 22 from “The Nature of Personal Reality” by Jane Roberts (on Kindle and Audible as well). Highly Insightfully Empowering.
First here ❤️❤️
what is every body taking about evil spirts...lolol😯😯...so now its the devil responsible...lord take the wheel
Please stop promoting better help 😫 UA-cam is turning into an ad campaign buy this buy that. I follow your other videos
I'm not a UA-camr and Betterhelp has helped me.
Babe you are drying too much .
Thank you for picking up on this topic dearest ❤🫶
You probably should not have thrown Jesus under the bus. If you want to sell a Better Help AD just do that. Seems like you might need Jesus in addition to your therapy. Have you ever considered deepening your relationship with him?
Better Question....Have you considered deepening your relationship with God? It may help with condemnation of others instead of focusing on the shortcomings in your life you never verbalize. God sees you too.
This woman too sabi, I’m glad to be under your leadership Aunty Bree😌🤌
What Do you do?
Why does that matter? What do you do?
Hello Breeny, i am not as well versed with social media and after leaving comments of encouragement, i got a message offering a gift via telegram. I just want to know that it is you with a imoj . Thanks God bless you always. Will be praying for you.❤
As someone who is seeking to consider therapy this year, This comes in very handy! 🤍
Before you seek therapy, do you have a diagnosis and do you know specifically what type of therapy you need. It is not one size fits all.