It was so unbelievably satisfying to read in an update that Goop was forced to retract their statements and apologize to NASA!!! I bet they were on the verge of getting sued!! 😂
I immediately ordered Carbon Health Strips from Covetton House. A bit expensive at $59.95 per roll, but by chakra will be greatly enhanced to put me in a meditative mood.
@@LeahLaushway That's also why they can sell all the cr4p on TV, with those warning words to consult a doctor before use, or whatever - NONE of that is approved; and even "approved" stuff is nowhere safe. Just, anyone suffering any ill effects should be able to legally murder the company directors - and problems would be sorted, rather quickly.
Thank you for calling out snake oil salesmen, Stephen. Especially if it's celebrities. Speaking or satirizing truth to power. That's why I respect your show so much.
GWYNETH: Here, kids. I brought you each a Goop Biothermal Modulation Wrap. SON: Mom, it’s called a frickin’ blanket. GWYNETH: Not at Goop, son. We like to name things, well… unconventionally. DAUGHTER: Yeah, and while we’re on that topic, mom, there is simply not enough inheritance you could possibly leave me to make up for naming me Apple. I mean, Geezus, what strain of organic, fair-trade Peyote were you gnawing on before *that* major life decision? SON: Yeah, mom, and thanks for naming me Moses. The daily beatings on the playground serve as a “Conscious Uncoupling” between me and my lunch money. GWYNETH: Well, mock me if you must, but I do love you both very much. Goodnight. _(she closes the door and exits)_ SON: Whatever happened to that Coldplay guy? He was cool. DAUGHTER: That he was. Hey, Moses, could you part this Kit Kat bar for me like you did the Red Sea? SON: _(sighs)_ Ya know, that never gets old, Apple. Never gets old.
Kenneth Brewer No you see the last one spends most of his time drinking fruity wheat grass smoothies soaking in a "rejuvenating pool". So he is actually getting his hydration from THAT, but _thinks_ his hydration problems are being solved by the bullshit stickers. Because he drank the goopy kool-aid.
I hear even homeopathy works better against dehydration than stickers. Supposedly it is the only medical condition homeopathy has been proven effective against.
Barely regulated capitalism, that's how. If I were Empress of the World and Mother of Dragons this shit would be criminal, actors and athletes wouldn't be paid more than teachers and nurses, and you'd have to pass an aptitude test in order to have your sterility sticker removed long enough to have a baby. Also, when I was done Empressing, I'd leave a clean democratic system behind, with publicly funded elections, ranked choice voting, and a truly free and independent, broken up into small chunks, not-for-profit news media. Also, I wouldn't barbecue anybody. Well, maybe just the John Boltons of the world.
Covetton House may be BS but at least their upfront about it the same can't be said for Goop. Colbert must enjoy trolling Gwyneth Paltrow and Alex Jones on their BS.
I don't think Goop realises that only METAL forks vibrate when tapped. I think Gwyneth Paltrow thinks that our cells are 100% metal. Somebody, please alert Mrs Paltrow
If they were made of string under tension, they'd vibrate more. Case in point, however: vibrating is actually bad for your cells, as that kind of motion damages them.
You know how there's that person who keeps doing crazy sh** and you can kinda see they are crazy but keep giving them the benefit of doubt? And then they just do that one last thing and your just like "nope, she's definitely crazy!" I just had that moment.
Steven, actually that jade egg toner is an old Kegel exerciser. (I have to admit I am surprised she DID have one real product, she is reaching for the leftover California girl hippie wanna be's with rebranded (and re-sticker-shocked) 70's products. There is a store in Carmel that has been there forever that sells the same stuff for a quarter of the price.)
Obviously the idea is that the magic frequency vibration nonsense is to help your cells suck up the water you drink more efficiently or some such bullshit. These people are gullible idiots, not completely trumpified.
I bet Parks and Rec based Bloosh Magazine on Goop! Even the names sound a bit similar. Btw I loved the Bloosh Beef Juice (commonly known as "milk") :-D
brilliant! I love Stephens' humor..his mind is filled with the silliest genius around! thank you eat laughs stephen colbert!!!!!! giving me great laughs every time!
Colbert and his writers are brilliant. This is an amazing satire on that stupid woman's Goop. It is like she knows she is lying and she doesn't care because so many stupid people will send her money.
"Rich or praying to become rich" GOP voters in a nutshell. MUCH more of the latter kind though, but it explains why they vote for policies benefitting only the former
I hate the trend of the rich inventing shit just to show how rich they are. Food covered in gold dust, it'll take like shit but you're rich and you can show it off! Stickers that we infused with NASA material, it works the same as other stickers but you won't have to buy the poor people's version! Look at all these dishes made from super expensive spices that we destroyed entire countries to get....oh wait the plebs have them now, all cuisine must be unspiced (no seriously, that's the actual explanation for why Europe invaded half the world for spices and then phased them out of most of their cuisines). Like we get it, you're so needlessly wealthy you can afford to blow what could be a six month's rent for the rest of us on things you don't even want, just stop fucking whining about how you need tax cuts to stay afloat and making the rest of us pay for your fucking hobbies.
Nomi Sunrider Its not like Europe only invaded country's for stuff. Did you know that the USA is actually the second most warmongering country in the world? Uganda is first by the way.
vvtstokes - no, i would assume that he does not read youtube comments to begin with lol It's more a matter of continuing to bring attention to it so eventually the producers will do something about it
Nope, I don't mind. Because they don't have a mic. That noise is basically background noise so it doesn't distract me from the monologue. But the "Heh... heh... heh..." with a mic is super distracting.
They're not advertised on TV with NASA's name and complete pseudo-science bullshit "conductive carbon" fraud. I mean, the most conductive carbon I can think of right now is graphite. The stuff used in pencils.
Can't believe goop hasn't been sued into oblivion, yet.
Isn't selling a product under false pretenses illegal?
Guess you haven't heard of Doterra?
I don't think laws apply if you're rich enough.
@YouAreNotCool They shouldn't be, but at least faith healing is just useless and not destructive.
That depends. Sometimes faith healers convince people to do things, like throwing away their medicine, that harm or kill the people.
@@censusgary Well, I guess there's a lot of quackery that should be illegal then.
i love when he's trolling goop 😂
Boy Aditya he becomes really cute. 😂
ACTUALLY HE IS LOL.....
EQ-smoove he's a Catholic, he still realizes you need to see a doctor if your sick, duhh
Boy Aditya Goop are literally snake oil salesmen
Do they sell snake oil?
It was so unbelievably satisfying to read in an update that Goop was forced to retract their statements and apologize to NASA!!! I bet they were on the verge of getting sued!! 😂
That's extremely disappointing
They should be sued for fraud.
Class action.. watch how quickly the shops close down.. btw, she's also hosting a cruise
John Oliver: *''Gwyneth!''*
César Madero She had it coming.
Yes Jon. Do it, you bespectacled parrot!
I guess Goop thought that if the American public would buy Trump as President they would buy anything.
They probably weren't far wrong, but to be fair - totally different market... 😜
It's about time you moved on. I know it hurt but you should do it now. This is really lame and stupid. Your comment, you too.
@@subscriberswithnovideos-xw9xc Talking of moving on - 2 months ago?
As H.L. Mencken wrote, no one has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
@@subscriberswithnovideos-xw9xc Yeah, you were a little late with that comment.
This man is savagely brilliant! Go Stephen!
Thank you Stephen for roasting that pretentious, phony fraud Gwyneth Paltrow. I love you.
she GP is pretty shameless with this goop garbage.
"Science is whatever we want it to be. " -Dr. Leo Spaceman, 30 Rock.
For maximum benefits use "AAA" batteries...
Rudy Smith A car battery VVVVRRRRRROOOOOOOMMMMMMM
"AAA" *energy pods*
I prefer a D batteries, remember to double them
I started using a car battery just a few days ago, and I've been feeling revved up ever since! Highly recommended.
It's all about AAAA energy pods now! it's ancient nanotechnology!!
Covetton House brings me back to the good old Stephen Colbert days when Stephen Colbert played Stephen Colbert on the Colbert Report
I immediately ordered Carbon Health Strips from Covetton House. A bit expensive at $59.95 per roll, but by chakra will be greatly enhanced to put me in a meditative mood.
Didn't medical quackery used to be against the law?
Christopher Woodbury "Homeopathic" medicine is unregulated.
@@LeahLaushway That's also why they can sell all the cr4p on TV, with those warning words to consult a doctor before use, or whatever - NONE of that is approved; and even "approved" stuff is nowhere safe. Just, anyone suffering any ill effects should be able to legally murder the company directors - and problems would be sorted, rather quickly.
When has the law ever mattered my dude?
This segment had me dyiiiiiing!!!!! Stephen killed it here.
Thank you for calling out snake oil salesmen, Stephen. Especially if it's celebrities. Speaking or satirizing truth to power. That's why I respect your show so much.
I think Gwyneth needs Colbert's energy pods for her head. MAXIMIZE WELLNESS!
GWYNETH: Here, kids. I brought you each a Goop Biothermal Modulation Wrap.
SON: Mom, it’s called a frickin’ blanket.
GWYNETH: Not at Goop, son. We like to name things, well… unconventionally.
DAUGHTER: Yeah, and while we’re on that topic, mom, there is simply not enough inheritance you could possibly leave me to make up for naming me Apple. I mean, Geezus, what strain of organic, fair-trade Peyote were you gnawing on before *that* major life decision?
SON: Yeah, mom, and thanks for naming me Moses. The daily beatings on the playground serve as a “Conscious Uncoupling” between me and my lunch money.
GWYNETH: Well, mock me if you must, but I do love you both very much. Goodnight. _(she closes the door and exits)_
SON: Whatever happened to that Coldplay guy? He was cool.
DAUGHTER: That he was. Hey, Moses, could you part this Kit Kat bar for me like you did the Red Sea?
SON: _(sighs)_ Ya know, that never gets old, Apple. Never gets old.
👏👏👏 God I hope Gwyneth Paltrow reads your comment. LOL.
fidorover Ha ha ha 😂 Can't... Stop... Laughing !
fidorover i love you
Pure gold
Omg do another!!
MORE COVETTON HOUSE PLEASE!!!!
Zarina A113 shabby elegance,give me money!
LMAO I'm guessing Gwyneth won't be a guest anytime soon...
Covetton House again 😂😂😂 perfect opportunity for it to come back
9 out of 10 fork professors recommend to *DRINK* instead of this B.S.
MrBloodbunny I could be confident that could be 10 out of 10
Kenneth Brewer
No you see the last one spends most of his time drinking fruity wheat grass smoothies soaking in a "rejuvenating pool". So he is actually getting his hydration from THAT, but _thinks_ his hydration problems are being solved by the bullshit stickers.
Because he drank the goopy kool-aid.
I hear even homeopathy works better against dehydration than stickers. Supposedly it is the only medical condition homeopathy has been proven effective against.
"If weight loss is your goal ... Covetton House is always here to lighten your wallet" - LOL
Damn, he's gonna need a chainsaw to cut through the tension next time she has a movie to promote.
Gwyneth lost all credibility with the
goop stickers. REALLY GWYNETH?
Companies treat ppl like we're all stupid.
they are opening a goop shop in downtown Santa Monica. it's insane.
Laughing to tears 😅😅😅 Thank you!!
How does the company that has manufactured Goop hand cleaner feel about this?
How is a company selling nothing for ridiculous prices even legal?
Barely regulated capitalism, that's how. If I were Empress of the World and Mother of Dragons this shit would be criminal, actors and athletes wouldn't be paid more than teachers and nurses, and you'd have to pass an aptitude test in order to have your sterility sticker removed long enough to have a baby. Also, when I was done Empressing, I'd leave a clean democratic system behind, with publicly funded elections, ranked choice voting, and a truly free and independent, broken up into small chunks, not-for-profit news media. Also, I wouldn't barbecue anybody. Well, maybe just the John Boltons of the world.
Sorry Stephen, but we all know that Covetton House reached its apex in therapeutic solutions (and comedy) with the Organic Gravel Scrotal Abrasion.
“Give me money”🤣🤣
Stephen Colbert tearing off a piece of duct tape - I mean, "energy tape" - with his bare hands, no scissors, was impressive.
I laughed so hard, I started crying. Thank you, Stephen! I needed that :D
I cant wait for the day when Gwyneth tells us the truth "You've all been GOOPED!"
Not me, I don't even pay for tickets to see her movies. ;)
Every time Colbert talks about Goop... COOOOLD BLOOOOOOOOODEDDDD!
This gives me John Oliver’s church Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption vibes and I love it
Covetton House may be BS but at least their upfront about it the same can't be said for Goop. Colbert must enjoy trolling Gwyneth Paltrow and Alex Jones on their BS.
can you believe that these stickers are already sold out? lol
Valar Morghulis People are idiots man, and goop is brilliant for capitalizing on that fact.
Valar Morghulis wtf
Serious!??! If they're that stupid they deserve to be ripped off
So this is what failure sounds like.
geez, I wonder if any of the stickers come with LSD micro dosing?
The Covetton House skits feels a lot like the kind of material we used to enjoy on The Colbert Report. Keep it going.
I don't think Goop realises that only METAL forks vibrate when tapped. I think Gwyneth Paltrow thinks that our cells are 100% metal. Somebody, please alert Mrs Paltrow
In the sense that metal forks vibrate at much higher frequencies than forks of other material
If they were made of string under tension, they'd vibrate more.
Case in point, however: vibrating is actually bad for your cells, as that kind of motion damages them.
There are some very relaxed terminators.
Mr Colbert, you are a genius!
Gwyneth Paltrow, the shining star of the "Encyclopedia of American Loons."
Big Covetton House fan!!! You can't find these specialty items just any-old-where. Thanks Stephen!
I was chewing AND taking a sip of water when he took out the duct tape. I am not okay right now.
Am I the only one finding the desk-pieces ,more entertaining than the monologues?
4:22 "skeletol vibrations" ... I just laughed so hard that when I stopped laughing I see a angry guy opposite to me drenched in my saliva .
So that's what BS stands for - baroque simplicity! :-P
And there will be morons who will actually pay 60 bucks for those stickers
One hundred and twenty dollars.
If you want to scam people, scam hard.
"There's a sucker born every minute".
I want to see what John Oliver could do with those stickers.
Happiness, Calm, Pick up milk. Classic! A shout out to the Skeptics Guide To The Universe who pan this kind of crap every week.
not sure if Gwyneth' ever coming to the show after this
She's an idiot anyway for even having anything to do with goop and those absurd products.
How has goop not been sued into oblivion for false advertising, falsifying medical claims, and impersonating medical advice yet?
Colbert really should open a store called "Coveton House" - he'd make mad bank.
I almost bought some of that healing adhesive and energy pods myself.
You know how there's that person who keeps doing crazy sh** and you can kinda see they are crazy but keep giving them the benefit of doubt? And then they just do that one last thing and your just like "nope, she's definitely crazy!" I just had that moment.
Steven, actually that jade egg toner is an old Kegel exerciser. (I have to admit I am surprised she DID have one real product, she is reaching for the leftover California girl hippie wanna be's with rebranded (and re-sticker-shocked) 70's products. There is a store in Carmel that has been there forever that sells the same stuff for a quarter of the price.)
This series is the best! Please troll more fake health sites/ alternative science
Kevin Feige, can you please get Gwyneth back into the MCU so she can stop doing this shit?
OMG!!! I AM IN A PANIC!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO???? I put the wrong sticker on!!!!
People who shop at goop have more money than brains...
Covetton House is OK...but they'll Never be Prescott Pharmaceuticals.
Wouldn't it be easier to simply drink a glass of water than to put a sticker on your arm saying "hydrate"?
Obviously the idea is that the magic frequency vibration nonsense is to help your cells suck up the water you drink more efficiently or some such bullshit. These people are gullible idiots, not completely trumpified.
Her company sounds like Bloosh Magazine from Parks and Recreation lol
I bet Parks and Rec based Bloosh Magazine on Goop! Even the names sound a bit similar. Btw I loved the Bloosh Beef Juice (commonly known as "milk") :-D
Colbert and his writers are really getting into their groove lately!
This reminded me that I need to go out and get some energy pods for my remotes.
I cannot stop laughing.. Goop do u have a sticker for that.
Btw Stephen: There might be no "Duct" in Bavaria, but sure as hell exists Fucking, Austria!!!
I laughed out loud so many times during this bit.
do you need a spotter?
Love it! Thanks Stephen Colbert
Should have been Covefe House
brilliant! I love Stephens' humor..his mind is filled with the silliest genius around! thank you eat laughs stephen colbert!!!!!! giving me great laughs every time!
(You do realize he's following a teleprompter with material from the writers, he's often reacting to it as well. :))
Colbert and his writers are brilliant. This is an amazing satire on that stupid woman's Goop. It is like she knows she is lying and she doesn't care because so many stupid people will send her money.
The little centaur playing polo, lol.
"Rich or praying to become rich"
GOP voters in a nutshell. MUCH more of the latter kind though, but it explains why they vote for policies benefitting only the former
It's so funny. The commercial that precedes this video features Blythe Danner-- Gwyneth Paltrow's mother.
I hate the trend of the rich inventing shit just to show how rich they are. Food covered in gold dust, it'll take like shit but you're rich and you can show it off! Stickers that we infused with NASA material, it works the same as other stickers but you won't have to buy the poor people's version! Look at all these dishes made from super expensive spices that we destroyed entire countries to get....oh wait the plebs have them now, all cuisine must be unspiced (no seriously, that's the actual explanation for why Europe invaded half the world for spices and then phased them out of most of their cuisines). Like we get it, you're so needlessly wealthy you can afford to blow what could be a six month's rent for the rest of us on things you don't even want, just stop fucking whining about how you need tax cuts to stay afloat and making the rest of us pay for your fucking hobbies.
Nomi Sunrider Its not like Europe only invaded country's for stuff. Did you know that the USA is actually the second most warmongering country in the world? Uganda is first by the way.
Nomi Sunrider So true!
You're hilarious! Nice way to end the day.
I AM THE MACHINE
i spit out my coffee @ the "Beneficial Stickers" lmao
wow.. john baptiste's fake laugh is worse than fallon.
Kane Bernardino I wish they'd disable his microphone. Just stick to the music mate
His fake laugh is worse than Trump's skin.
I thought I was the only one. Seriously need to cut his mic. It's so annoying.
he seems nice but contributes nothing to the show except music
Leave Jon alone💯
no matter how many times I watch the intro to Covetton House it's always hilarious! especially when he does the frolic at 4:03
Please. PLEASE take the mic away from Jon Batiste during monologue and segments
I love when he cracks up, his laugh is hilarious
Better yet, get rid of him entirely. Jesus he's fucking annoying.
Love Colbert.... his band leaders voice tone cuts through me! Lol
#makeBatistestoplaughing
(at least while Stephen is talking, it's incredibly annoying and distracting!)
Something Seems Off please
Sounds like the Count on Sesame Street.
Something Seems Off u actually think Jon gives a fuck about that stupid hashtag ...😂
vvtstokes - no, i would assume that he does not read youtube comments to begin with lol
It's more a matter of continuing to bring attention to it so eventually the producers will do something about it
this is one of the funniest Colbert clips! no matter though because a sucker is born every minute!
I hate it when the musician guy laughs so damn loud that it distracts from the monologue.
op3l yet u don't mind that the audience laughs and screams during the monologue...
Nope, I don't mind. Because they don't have a mic. That noise is basically background noise so it doesn't distract me from the monologue. But the "Heh... heh... heh..." with a mic is super distracting.
I actually went to goop's page! LOL Stephen is simply influential! HAHAHAHA
Anyone pee on the edge cause it makes less noise ??
I pee sitting down.
SAMPLE TEXT every time!! I'm not alone 😁
Real men pee standing upside down.
jurban 😂
+jurban
Pff. Real men don't even pee in the toilet; they just use whatever tree-like object is near them, including legs.
Why does it sound like the green goblin is sitting off the side laughing. Aahaahaahaahaa
Are Goop products any less believable than communion wafer and wine on Sundays?
Saeguilo Desanchez Those are at least free and symbolic
DJ Firewolf thanks for pointing that out, but that has nothing to do with what I initially posted.
They're not advertised on TV with NASA's name and complete pseudo-science bullshit "conductive carbon" fraud.
I mean, the most conductive carbon I can think of right now is graphite. The stuff used in pencils.
Omegagoldfish well carbon is used in electronic components just like crystals but that because unlike human beings electricity does have a frequency
Omegagoldfish graphene is very conductive
Colbertian brilliance at its most brilliant!!
Dookte.
Blak *Dükt
Thanks to Jon Batiste for playing "Bullshit" by the RH factor and D'Angelo. It made my day !
Turn the mic off for that annoying fake laughing man.
awe no, thats his band leader. i think they have good chemistry.
Laughing so much that I just fell of my chair!!!
Gives a speech about ridiculous products while wearing an Apple watch.
At least it tells time. Those stickers are literally useless.
Saptarsi Mondal it also tells your heart rate. An apple watch has actually saved a life unlike the goop stickers 😏
He got the Apple watch for free when he had the CEO on the show.
One time when Jon's hard-to-control laughter speaks for all of us.
I have that same magical marker in my bedroom. I use it for my art work lining, but now I realized i have been using it completely wrong ..😳⚡📝
You know, if Paltrow donated Goop revenue to charity, I’d be all for it. Take money from idiots who don’t need it.
Baroque simplicity. Shabby elegance.
Stephen Colbert just asked the most proverbial question to gym bros all around the world, "Do you even lift?"