+The Introverted MGTOW When she was saying "strong", she was speaking internally. Furthermore, men are biologically stronger when they have a good parental figure that feeds you and keeps you healthy. Strong MEN come from Strong mothers. Her feeding her womb and nurturing you is why you're here. Without that, many men are not biologically stronger. That's "on average", in comparison to YOUR OWN family members, and doesn't apply to every man, depending on nutrition, health, exercise, diet, and genetics. These men are exercising less, they aren't eating healthy, they are letting culture keep them settled and are expecting rather than giving (and this is really the whole generation), among many other issues.
I think it has to do with the lack of responsibility, so these men grow up without knowing how to do or be responsible since their mom did everything for them. I remember the moment I turned 6 me and my brother had to take turns taking out the trash and as we grew up my parents added more chores. cleaning dishes/sweeping/moping/dusting by the time I was 10 or 11 I was already helping with cooking since my dad was chef he taught us how to cook and said "cooking is a weapon" whether it's about keeping yourself healthy or trying to win at love or just want to have a good time.
Those two ladies need their own TV advice show! That cat was gonna stroll right by Cathy Cat until it saw Dog-rector-san! Back to the ear salon with you, Cathy Cat!
+PongoXBongo I agree that a good male role model is necessary for all children. But if father dies early, there's no sense in letting the child fall the wayside either. You have to step up as a parent and do the best you can.
+Sora Gen Next Of course, you shouldn't let the child fall by the wayside. A male role model could be a father, grandfather, uncle, teacher, coach, neighbor, whomever. Same goes for a female role model. Being a parent is more than just providing DNA. ;)
PongoXBongo On that I agree. In fact, I think both girls AND boys need positive male role models. I grew up with a single mother after my father passed away at 9. My uncles were those male models that I needed. People often forget how important it is to have that model in a child's life. But if you don't have uncles or grandparents, making sure a good neighbor or coach or teacher is present is also the primary parents' responsibility. If you live in my neighborhood, I wouldn't want the neighbors schooling my son. Most of the teachers are female. But hopefully, he's into sports or in a group where there's a lead male present.
Japan needs to change their work culture. Japan needs to learn how tor work efficiently and ENCOURAGE EARLIER WORK DAY FINISHES EVERYDAY. Everybody should end their work no later than 7pm. Japanese couples are afraid of having babies due to super strict work culture; Every company should give both men and women mandatory sufficient paternity and maternity leaves. If both Japanese men and women have more time on their hands then people might be encouraged to start a family.
Just saying, but I feel that Japan culture needs to change for the benefit of raising children. For example maternity leave for both men and women depending on the situation. Better laws that help families raise children even some sort of incentives for couples that want children, build more schools and cost of education cheaper for children.
Foci25EN that is true, as time has changed cost of living has gone up. I am in my 40’s and back then it was cheaper and getting a decent job and raising children was easier...at least in my experience. Now is just trying to be financially stable for a better future.
Foci25EN we only have parent leave available for fathers since a relatively short time in Germany. Also it is still not seen as normal for a father to take care of the children or even be a stay at home dad. It is frowned upon, because of the same mindset, that man have to be providers. It is getting better, though (if the country isn't going any more towards the political right, that is). Also, in France they (and I could be wrong here, it's been some time since I read that) help the parents getting back into the job after the parent leave by giving them nanny's? Surely that's not a necessity, if we had enough kindergarten spaces, but being a caretaker doesn't pay well and so there are less and less people willing to be part of this, which leads to less children being able to find a place there. Which then leads to one parent having to give up their job and that's usually the woman. So people who love their career (or would need both their jobs to support a child) often decide against a child.
Foci25EN but I don't think you are wrong. There is definitely a phenomenon of lowering birth rates nearly all over the global North. Last time I read, not in France, which is why I was so eager to draw a comparison to them. But I think this might have to do with a hopelessness towards the future. When you see all the news, you don't necessarily want to birth a child in this world. Things are getting more expensive while the salary stays the same, jobs are getting more demanding - you even need a university qualification (Abitur) for jobs that don't formally demand that. So people stick to there jobs, to feel secure themselves, combined with the zeitgeist that's not gonna help to get more children :D
If Japan wants to continue calling itself a first world country, then it seriously needs to reform its labor laws. Otherwise, it's just a Chinese sweatshop with a shinier coat of paint.
These two ladies are amazing! What a joy it is to see how open they are with their life views & having no worries about any backlash. Kudos to them for being such strong, intelligent women. 💪 My favorite kind. As for the subject matter: I have always believed being in partnerships or marriages as they were describing it. Both need to share the rewards and the burdens of life together, thus making the union stronger knowing that your partner will always be there for you and vice-versa. This episode is now at the top of my favorites list and is one of the best that Ask Japanese has produced so far. i commend the both of you for a job well done! Please continue to do additional videos like this in the future. The serious pulse of Japan heard on the streets.
A good male example is imperative, and I think it's lacking in modern Japanese society, where men barely see their kids, who are coddled by their mothers. Neither men or women see any benefit in family life, it's just too big of a commitment on top of their already time consuming working lives. You want improvement, start by fixing the attitudes where jobs come first instead of families, and once kids are in the picture the women forget they have husbands instead of ATMs and men think they have a second mother instead of a wife. Who wants a cold marriage where the coddled kid is the only glue holding it together?
Easier said than done - young Japanese men are entering a working environment where ridiculous overtime is expected - you can say they need to put their family as a priority but they won't even get to start a family if they can't find a job, and like the women said young Japanese women are afraid if they start taking time off for their children they'll lose their jobs. The same will be true for the men. So it's either government regulation on working hours or relying on kindergarden and grandparents, or as we're seeing neither and just forgoing children altogether.
YES! THIS! If you want families, you've got to put families FIRST! But that happens at the government level as well as the people voting on legislation. Me? I don't want kids because of the pain of pregnancy, the morning sicknesses, the difficulty sleeping, and the medical issues that arise and require good medical plans. But others might not have those same phobias. Still, it would be nice if people didn't expect women to endure the pain of childbirth and didn't make them feel ugly and unwanted after the birth of a child.
I'm gonna say the same thing my grandma said once: to make a strong man, this need to let go their mother skirt. And if that doesn't work, kick them hard like a horse. Yup, she was sweet and all, but she wasn't going to stand baby boys forever, everything has its own moment and the moment of letting go your mother to stand next to your own family and be strong with your partner always comes, sooner or later.
Sadly this is on the mother's head. So many helicopter parents today are ruining men and women. I get told how proud they are of me doing simple crap like watering plants. It pisses me off how they treat me like I've been dropped on my head. My straight A college sister making a six digit salary has told me how I'm smarter than her (much lazier also 😅). I probably needed a belt in my younger life not another Pat on the head. At least I'm into boxing and have raised myself to be strong.
@@Dave_The_Musical_Fisherman actually, my parents kinda control(they still do it) me but also encourage me to leave my own bubble. They always made me make sports and take self-defense classes, bcoz hey, I'm a girl, I'm not super big and strong naturally, I had to grow it by myself. Also, my dad always made me work hard (no, like seriously, he doesn't care if I'm a girl, If I have to help him building our house I have to do it) Someday I gotta leave the house and leave by my own, I can't be depending on them. Dang, they aren't going to allow me be depending on them
I've seen other interviews with these two women and this girl on the right has sympathy, personality and intelligence. In addition to considering her attractive, I like her views and her arguments. Fantastic girl!
That part about the necessity of failing when young reminded me of Madoka Kaname's advice from her mother - which I'd never heard anyone articulate in real life before.
I think I'd be more interested to hear from grandparents about this question. I think they would be a lot wiser in this regard. I'd especially love to hear from those around the WWII era. As someone who would like to be a father, helping out around the house and with the kids is important to me if I get the chance to ever meet someone and have the opportunity to have kids. With Japanese work culture though, I wonder how viable that is because it seems like the guys are deemed to slave away at their desk jobs and the culture deems that the longer you stay at work the more "productive" you are and sometimes that additional time at work is all that keeps them from getting fired even if they're not actually being productive from what I understand. I hear a lot of stories about men who would really love to spend time with their family but just can't because of how the work culture is.
Yay! Way to interview moms! I feel like that is a huge chunk of Japan that is left out of interview videos. I spend so much time with Japanese moms and would love to have more videos of their opinions. The moms I hang out with have a hard time, because their husbands are working even MORE here than when they were in Japan, because they are trying to get ahead in the company. We have a lot of Japanese businesses in Tennessee. The moms feel isolated and miss their husbands. Everything is put on the moms shoulders. They only see their husbands on weekends. When we talk about their love life it is pretty much nonexistent. Only the women married to Americans talk about having their husbands home,having help around the house, and having a love life. I would like to watch a video about their opinion of their husbands working so much, and how much schooling their kids do, and what do they do when their husbands are at work and the kids are in school.
Here in Germany maternity leave, kindergartens and all those benefits from the government doesn't really help. The birth rate in Germany is not good either, despise all this stuff. Only the immigrants manage to do it well, although they have a harder time here than native Germans.
What those nice and kind ladies just said, got me. sometimes I focus so much on not losing, fail and dealing with problems, that I forget to smile and enjoy my victories, ironic because victories end up being bitter drinks. Sometimes I am so focused on finding trenches to rest between battles, always preparing myself for the next battle, that I forget to learn, you could say that I have lived surviving my own victories. "Failing from time to time is not so bad. Even if you fall, get up and look up, you can learn something from that, failures are a chance!" Those word really got me. I think sometimes you just need some warm, friendly and comfortable words to move forward. Failures can also be shared (now i realize), they can also bring or be an opportunity to be closer. Finding someone to tell you those words in the midst of your failures should be like finding an oasis in the desert. ビデオをありがとう、おそらくこれはビデオのポイントではありませんでしたが、それは自分自身を慰めるために私を助けました。
This is the best advice I've heard in a while!! I realised that I spoil my bf too much without realising by acting like his mum by doing housework and other things for him. He's even told me that I act like his mum sometimes.. lol Actually, he is too dependant on his mum (they are japanese) so thats why this advice really hit me. I realised I need to stop doing these things or else he will rely on me to do everything in the future too (regarding children and housework). The type of man I want to marry will be able to share household chores as I intend to work full time too.
Nice video. However, I'd like to add something: lower birth rates are a trend all around the developped countries, not just in Japan. Actually, some European countries fertility rates are lower than the Japanese one (and contrary to Japan, they have the immigration factor). USA isn't far off either. I guess everything comes from the modern lifestyle and economic stagnation.
Pablo G.Q Most people don't understand the difference between birth rate and fertility rate. Japan is actually having more babies than they were 10 years ago. The fertility rate has gone up from 1.26 in 2005 to 1.41 at present. Japan's fertility rate is comparable to a lot of European countries.
ash rai Yes, you are right. I guess Japanese women are having more children, but there are less women in the reproductive age range than 10 years ago so there are less children overall.
I think it is that and that people are rejecting gender roles almost to a damaging point. Girls seem to not want to be “strapped” down with kids. They majorly downplay and reject how important and precious it is to be a mother.
And exposure and education. More people are connected and talking about their mothering experiences and birth process. Yeah...after watching enough videos about the childbirth process online, it's enough to make you want to forgo childbirth ALTOGETHER.
Interesting. This touches on so many levels of economics, community, health, stigma, generational gaps of knowledge, concepts of rearing children disparities of couples, fears and strengths of life. Fascinating!
The birthrates are low, because there are less couples, there are more people that would rather spend they're time making money off a job, than get in a romantic relationship.
This is also likely loosely connected to the other videos, where most Japanese, or at least the women, are more interested in a partner with money or a high-paying job than anything else. So they basically demand of the men a good career and stable salary, then they can't have kids because they're working too much, or just don't want to spend money on a child. Then if they do have kids, the kids can't grow up with any parental guidance other than, "you better do good in school and get a good career". It's probably why the suicide rate is one of the highest, too.
It's not that simple as saying everyone in Japan would rather make money then having a relationship. Some of them do want to get in a relationship, and some of them DO want to have kids, but it's important to understand that the work culture in Japan is very hard working and often it doesn't allow much personal free time for them to look after their child. Having a kid is not to be taken lightly. There are severe costs for having a child in Japan, and you must also do your best to raise them to become good people as they grow older. Having a child with not enough money or the time to look after them when they are at their critical age can hurt the child which can having lasting consequences, being able to live on making the right choices in life, that would help them succeed. Many Japanese folks realize this, so they weigh in on the decision before they consider conceiving. If the child doesn't have the right conditions (Money, Time, and Care) then it's best for them to focus on taking care of themselves first until they know, they are ready, which unfortunately could be never for some people.
I already knew about this problem in Japan, it such a pity that japanese women don't receive correct help infrastructure to rease their children. I just loved the discussion with these two mamas! They bring very good vibes ❤
Because its expensive. Our generation does not want children because we can live comfortably without them. Having kids puts a huge strain on your back - no sane person would voluntarily do that.
Andrew Zhoe That’s a little extreme but for the most part I agree. Kids are extremely expensive. Factor in the Japanese work culture and it’s no surprise the men and women there aren’t having as many kids.
From the look of these comments, i want to learn japanese to learn from these wise women's advice! It is resonated all over the world; and as a degree carrying single mum who works full time, i agree wholeheartedly!! Love your work ! Looking forward to visiting Japan in 2019 for the sacura season so love watching your videos about life in Japan xx😊
I been watching her videos with no captions on for the longest I just thought she didn’t translate it so I went to settings to put captions on I’m so dumb lol
I had stayed in Japan for about 5 and 1/2 years and now recently live in UK. The main problem of low birth rate in Japan is there is no "work life balance". The consequence is that you must put your company as top priority above anything else including your family. When both men or women return to their home in already stressful and tired conditions, they just want to go to sleep, they would not think about dating or even marriage, because tomorrow they have to work again to fulfill their endless deadline in their workplace
most young people said its too expensive, pressure.. and alot of women want to achieve their goals first vs just taking care of a kid. so like these women said.. if we start changing the roles people play.. the husband helps more with taking care of the kid, and then with government support to make it easier to rasie kids in japan as well as overhaul the system ( pressures and expectations) the rate will go up. but what i'm realizing now is most people want to actually marry to be happy not to just have kids for the betterment of japan lol)
Omg their advice are pure bliss!!! Very true and rare! Its a wake up call from them. Also, I agree with her! Nowadays, dads should be helping around and its joint collaboration between married couples to share responsibilities.
Sumin Park LoL you’re trying to make it about gender why do you think japan has a problem? Both men and women work too much. That is why they aren’t having kids. Have you ever worked 15 hours a day, 5-7 days a week before? Obviously not if you think people want to do other things besides rest.
So you think that dads should never help their partner on child rearing and house work, just because they are dead tired? If not, live by yourself. I do agree that Japan and even other countries do have crazy working hours that inhibits them from procreating and their government should fix that. However, my point from my original comment is that marriage is a collaboration between married couple. They work together, understand one another, fail together, cry together, share responsibilities, and smile together. Dads should be helping with child rearing, housework, and making sure the family is okay. Do you think moms dont work that much? they have so much in their hands. Also, dont assume that I never worked 15 hours a day, 5-7 days a week and I just rest. What do you know about me? nothing. Exactly. lol But I'll give you some info about me: I am a nursing student, a mom of two children, a parent, working part timer, a wife, a daughter, a working member of the society or whatever it is you may call. Its all about time management and help from my husband that I get to watch youtube and reply back to you.
素晴らしい！ Great interview! The lady on the right that mentioned 失敗 (making mistakes) mirrors how I feel. I often tell people when learning (photography, English, etc.) that they have to fail. That how you go forward and learn. Perhaps a goofy example, but like a small kid in the kitchen that wants to help momma. Momma says to be careful and not touch the stove. Kids are kids and the kid touches the stove anyway. Oh, burnt hand! Learning opportunity! Won't do that again! Great interviewees.
In Australia cost of kinder is so high that often the majority if not all one salary goes into paying the kinder and men do as much round the house to share that load. The missing capability is the amount of support grandperants can add so while these ladies have their lectures, what they subscribe to isnt enough. They need to make moves to supporting the upbringing of the children and then maybe the children will be more likely to look after them in their old age which I believe is an issue in Japan
Honestly, I think it's a financial issue, the fact that the genders are so separated in Japanese society, and the fact that pregnancy isn't depicted as a nice experience until AFTER a baby is born, and even then life gets complicated and stressful in many ways. It's painful and debilitating, hard work and expensive, and without a good supportive partner, miserable. Having a baby isn't an easy task. Then after a woman has a baby, she's often considered "less desirable" or less attractive because there's so much emphasis on looking young and feeling young. So, while girls are young, they wait until they're older to have children so they can maintain their attractive points while they still have them.
Its simple. The more intelligent a society gets, the more they rationalize how well they would be able to raise children. Look in places like India, China, and Africa, where the average person live off a few dollars a day. They pump out kids regardless if they are able to raise them. Places like Japan, Europe, and North America, the birth rates are dropping because these places actually think because we take quality of life into consideration. Now Japan may just be one of the smartest countries on Earth, it makes sense they would have a very small birth rate.
Very intersting as well.thanks for this video. Kindergarten places are very rare i hear it from friends and familie (in germany) and the most when the kids are ill the mothe be at home. I think dads should that do too.
Those two ladies were so awesome and charismatic! However, I think it went a bit off-topic because I barely know why Japan has less kids.... perhaps also ask young people and childless old people?
Wow so many more people need to listen to that! I only disagree with the part where the lady says that it's the duty of women to raise strong men, not only their child but also their husbands. I mean of course you'll raise your child to be strong, but the fathers also should teach their boys to be better men than they were, while also improving themselves. But I do get her point that it is hard for the fathers to do it now since they were pampered, so the mothers better do it or nothing will actually change. If all the new parents today would start doing that, very soon we'll see big changes on the perseptions around having a child.
In the Philippines the parents love their children a lot! But somehow we aren't "weak" most likely because our friends toughen us up. I mean toughen up in a physical and mental way, guys here literally joke around about who punches harder and we try to flex at each other etc. Now here in the Philippines the women here are...um sometimes more "ballsy" than the guys. I no joke saw a clasmate of mine (both were female) uppercut her friend at the ass. I know its somewhat weird but hey at least we know that their bonds are deep... poor choice of words but I'm on the internet so who cares! Anyways I liked the answers since it's somewhat true, I was raised by a..."over" protective Mom I always thought of her as a restrictive person but I understood her reasons. I grew up and started to develop a thick skin when I was around 10 since my parents divorced...she looked so broken. Eyes red, skin as pale as a cloud she looked as if she was about to give out. I think I developed my thick skin out of necessity since I saw how "weak" my Mom was, sadly she noticed that I was changing, she apologized "Sorry...I'm sorry that you have to see me like this" of course that hurt me since she knows that it was her and my Dad's fault that I lost my "childhood", that I had to sacrifice it to try and become mature as fast as possible. It also didn't help that my older brother has speaking problems (empathy towards others to be specific) I'm currently 15 and studying hard, my life has already been a bumpy one and I expect it to be an even harder one. I am lucky though that my Mother as well as several of her siblings are quite well of, not exactly rich but for sure richer than the regular people. Sorry for making this comment a long one... and too focused on my life not the video
I loved the video and I love kids. It was wonderful to hear what they had to say and I agree. A child is born with a blank page and both parents should write upon the child's blank pages together for a life time of wisdom. A marriage of two people in love willingly help each other without feeling it is like job duties demanded of them.
As a male, i totally agree, but the women need to realize when a man is training his son to be a man and fight her urge to protect and do every thing for the child... whether male or female.
This is beside the point, but just looking at the title of the video so far, it really seems like the word "fewer" is dying out (and yes, this is among native English speakers pretty much all over, so it's not a mistake by a 2nd language learner, but rather picked up from common use among natives). (By the way, your English is amazing. No German accent at all...and no German or English accent when speaking Japanese, either!) I did grow up with it "fewer", though. I was taught that "less" is for uncountable objects (less water) and fewer is for countable objects (fewer people). But now, it's all "less". I've seen that happen until now, I almost never come across "fewer". Also, "lie down" is now almost always "lay down", whereas "lay" is traditionally a transitive verb and the past tense of "lie", and "lie" is traditionally an intransitive verb that doesn't take an object. ("I will lie down." "I will lay it down.") It's strange. Of course, people older than I can tell you about when "whom" disappeared. I am not fluent at all in Japanese, but I have heard that "tabereru" has taken over "taberareru" for "can eat", and other Group 2 Ichidan verbs are the same. Is that the case? Has "tabereru" generally replaced "taberareru" in that situation, or is this still looked down on as lazy grammar in general? (I prefer "tabereru" for "can eat" myself, as it does not get confused with the "passive" voice.)
I think it's a geographical problem and a question of state support why Japanese mothers don't want children. The both mothers in the video sound more like emancipated women and not really faithful. I doubt men in Japan don't feel to care for their own children. My father is Japanese and he had to laugh after watching this video.
How are they "not really faithful"? Because they want lives of their own outside of just raising children? Both mothers _and_ fathers should be able to have that. Their labor laws are cruel and need to be changed for everyone's benefit. If Japan wants to continue calling itself a first world country, it needs to recognize the people's right to time off. Otherwise it's just a shinier version of the Chinese sweatshop.
I guess at some point most of japan's youth are going to realize it's time to act or the country dies it'll surely take sometime but with technology developing extremely fast it seems as each day passes by we lose a part of our humanity, i hope someday in the future We'll get to experience what it meant to be a human once more.
The birth rate may be dropping but the foster orphanages are growing. That would be an interesting question to see why their is a stigma with fostering other people kids or adoption. This is not different than in many western countries in the world. Daycare is expensive or difficult to find quality ones. I support these women not to be pressure into getting married and having kids. Along with that Japan will have too many people wanting to retire which will break their system.
"If you like your men weak, then just pamer them and do all their duties for them." Around our workplace's kitchen when some fool left a mess and did not clean it up, the expression was "your mother doesn't work here, so clean up after yourself!"
I think that there are various reasons why Japanese these days do not have many kids. It think that a big reason why is that Japanese tend to be more responsible than other people. More responsible people generally tend to have fewer kids, as they think before they pop them out. "Are my finances in order? Can I care for a child? Can I give enough of my time to my current child if I have another?" Things like that. Of course, there are people living in impoverished countries on the brink of starvation who are still having kids, but I feel that is a big reason why their countries are in shambles. No responsibility there. Continuing with other reasons, Japanese people tend to be shy. (Shyness is often a sign of responsibility as well.) They are not into "dating" as much as elsewhere. There are nampas, but generally, asking someone out is a big deal, and many skip the opportunity. Also, related to the major "responsibility" reason is the fact that most Japanese people live in cramped apaatos where even one child puts a strain on the household. Walls are paper-thin as well (sometimes literally, but often figuratively), so if you have one child, say goodbye to your sex life, as your child will hear every "iku" coming from the adjoining room. Those are the main reasons I have.
Rationalific This. A lot of Japanese people will think further ahead when it comes to having kids. Is there enough time? Is there enough money? A lot take it seriously and think it through. Here in the US, it’s like who cares. Pregnant? Have the kid. Get government assistance. What? Pregnant again? Just have it.
Along the lines of this video and one of your previous video’s you should ask Japanese mother’s about having non Japanese in laws or such because increasing the population can also be a problem with the fact that Japan likes to remain its own when times are changing and change is needed @Askjapanese
An other way to get answers about this question is to ask your own mother how they are doing it in Germany. Because Germany's birthrate was lower than Japan and the trend is up again now.
Great, i like the two Ladies , their are absolutely right and and the statement applies not only to weak japanese men but also to european ones. I am very interested in more videos with Japanese with more life experience and their perspective. Keep up^^
I don't know this for a fact but I believe people in Japan already have hard enough lives with all the cultural pressure to succeed and always think and act towards the common wealth so when they get that little amount of "me time" they don't wanna exchange that for the burden that's raising kids.
just can't get why Japan society so envious with mothers take a maternity leave… in Indonesia maternity leaves up to 3 months & still got payments… but the other will take cover theirs job but when urgent situation occurs they will got called for asking job matters
handi winoto Japan is an aging nation. Their workers are already working overtime to make up by the loss of population thanks to decreasing birthrates. There are more old people in Japan than young individuals. Let us say a company needed 10 workers to complete a specific task. Now let us say those 10 workers became old and now retire... but because of the lack of children, there are only 2 new young individuals taking their spots to replace them. There are just not enough people. Those 2 individuals have to produce as much as those 10 individuals, and how do you do that? You overwork them. You make them work OVERTIME. And it's not like they have a choice, the whole economy would collapse if they weren't working overtime. When people retire, they get pensions. Who do you think pay those pensions??? The government gets money to pay for it through taxes. With less workers out there, there are less taxes in revenue. With less workers, companies will start to notice that they can't really operate in that nation and will be forced to move out of the country to find "workers". This is really bad since companies PAY TAXES if they have their offices in the nation. If they leave, the government will lose A LOT more in taxes. .. So with decreasing revenue, and an increasing spendicture, Japan is on its way to an economic collapse. Of course, unless the population starts having MORE babies... so in other words, they CANT HAVE maternity leave because companies CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE A MOTHER WORKER FOR 3 MONTHS. There are just not enough people to make up for the loss worker
I love the way these mothers thinking. It's a bless I have these type of mother as well. I agreed with the weak men. There are too many weak men on the society. Well depend on which place I think, if in my country, Indonesia, too many parents pampering their kids, either boys or girls. So they live like a prince or princess, its so sick to see those type of people around when you hit 20++, where you would see many girls will wait for their parents to fetch them home from their work place and a lot of guys who will always get on to taxi even there is a motorbike taxi here. Well, in Indonesia, we still maintain a good birth rate, because of the population we had, and the biggest problem from the birth is the parents didn't teach their kids, so the kids become very naughty and inpolite. So, better becareful when visit here, kids here can't be told, even the kids are distrubing you, the parents will keep silent and pretend like nothing happen.
Klo mnurut saya sih tentang pulang kerja pake taxi ato dijemput orangtua sih itu masalah keamanan di lingkungan hidup. Klo dari saya sndiri ya sbenernya jg ga mau diantarjemput/naik taxi pas kuliah ato kerja. Malahan pengen naik bus/sepeda/jalan kaki tapi lingkungannya ga memungkinkan bagi saya sndiri untuk merasa aman. Hal-hal sperti itu cuman bisa saya lakukan pas saya kuliah di luar negeri yg notabenenya lebih aman dari negara sndiri.
Memang untuk dijemput pas pulang kerja atau kuliah itu karena keamanan lingkungan, tapi ada opsi lain selain naik bus/sepeda/jalan kaki, itu adalah bawa motor atau bawa mobil sendiri (mobil untuk keluarga yang mendukung). setidaknya begitu. di kota yang saya tinggal, Batam. lumayan banyak orang (cewek) yang memilih untuk tidak belajar bawa mobil atau motor demi di antar jemput sama pacar. itu hal yang saya tidak mengerti kenapa harus melakukan hal begitu, jika suatu saat pacar itu sudah bukan pacar lagi bukannya orang itu menjadi merepotkan semua orang disekitarnya?
This women are right on point! When the men are weak its women fault. My aunt never pampered his sons.. You should see his sons being dependent men. And there is my ex hubby that never lift a finger for anything. When he needs to carry his family..he expect me
we dont only see low birthrate in japan we see it all over the "western world" though there tend to be kindergartens other places. i don't believe that you just call 1 or 2 things as the reason(s) for low birthrate. it is likely the changes from after WWII till now, the changes japan experienced transforming into and as a "western country" so to speak. so there would be a lot of things attributing but no 1 small thing as a course
🧐👍🏼Cathy, you found some wise ladies. I’d keep in contact with them, they could be great mentors for you or your friends. They have experience & have learned along the way.
Japan projected population in 2100 will be 60 million from 127 million in 2018.japan has more deaths than births for past two years and will continue.japanese should have fertility rate of 4 from 1.4 in order to safeguard from extinction.is it possible ASK JAPANESE.
おはようございます みなさんこんにちは You gave us an idea about the difficulties, which Japanese women have to face in their daily life. It is evident that these problems are common to every working woman in Europe and elsewhere. As to what concern the number of children per woman, for instance, the birth rate in France and in Great Britain is about 2.07 children; meanwhile it is only 1.46 children in Japan. That is why there will be, in the coming future, a real demographic problem chez vous. And:“それで、来るべき将来、本当の人口問題が起こるでしょう。” これらの面白い動画をありがとう Have a nice day,
The birth rate here is insane, its like eveyday the maternity wards are filled with new borns, Bcuz of that i assumed that human being breed like mosquitos 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I like the idea of asking actual mothers about that question, great video!
Well yea I agree with your point here but no need to be so toxic lol
Hearing fathers out about their opinions would have been interesting too yea
"around me i have seen many weak men" she had that one locked and loaded 😂
No wonder. Are those men in her age group, or is she mingling with Young adults?
+The Introverted MGTOW When she was saying "strong", she was speaking internally. Furthermore, men are biologically stronger when they have a good parental figure that feeds you and keeps you healthy. Strong MEN come from Strong mothers. Her feeding her womb and nurturing you is why you're here. Without that, many men are not biologically stronger. That's "on average", in comparison to YOUR OWN family members, and doesn't apply to every man, depending on nutrition, health, exercise, diet, and genetics. These men are exercising less, they aren't eating healthy, they are letting culture keep them settled and are expecting rather than giving (and this is really the whole generation), among many other issues.
I think it has to do with the lack of responsibility, so these men grow up without knowing how to do or be responsible since their mom did everything for them. I remember the moment I turned 6 me and my brother had to take turns taking out the trash and as we grew up my parents added more chores. cleaning dishes/sweeping/moping/dusting by the time I was 10 or 11 I was already helping with cooking since my dad was chef he taught us how to cook and said "cooking is a weapon" whether it's about keeping yourself healthy or trying to win at love or just want to have a good time.
Those two ladies need their own TV advice show! That cat was gonna stroll right by Cathy Cat until it saw Dog-rector-san!
Back to the ear salon with you, Cathy Cat!
These women are very bright. As a young woman who aspires to be a mother one day while still being able to work, I took what thy said to heart.
"Then they learn how to treat a wife"
I don't mind children, I'm just scared of pregnancy and the actual birth process. You're a good one. I never want to be pregnant.
+PongoXBongo I agree that a good male role model is necessary for all children. But if father dies early, there's no sense in letting the child fall the wayside either. You have to step up as a parent and do the best you can.
+Sora Gen Next
Of course, you shouldn't let the child fall by the wayside. A male role model could be a father, grandfather, uncle, teacher, coach, neighbor, whomever. Same goes for a female role model. Being a parent is more than just providing DNA. ;)
PongoXBongo On that I agree. In fact, I think both girls AND boys need positive male role models. I grew up with a single mother after my father passed away at 9. My uncles were those male models that I needed. People often forget how important it is to have that model in a child's life. But if you don't have uncles or grandparents, making sure a good neighbor or coach or teacher is present is also the primary parents' responsibility. If you live in my neighborhood, I wouldn't want the neighbors schooling my son. Most of the teachers are female. But hopefully, he's into sports or in a group where there's a lead male present.
Japan needs to change their whole entire work culture, can't blame the fathers for working 24/7 because the job and employer demands it
Japan needs to change their work culture. Japan needs to learn how tor work efficiently and ENCOURAGE EARLIER WORK DAY FINISHES EVERYDAY. Everybody should end their work no later than 7pm. Japanese couples are afraid of having babies due to super strict work culture; Every company should give both men and women mandatory sufficient paternity and maternity leaves. If both Japanese men and women have more time on their hands then people might be encouraged to start a family.
Just saying, but I feel that Japan culture needs to change for the benefit of raising children. For example maternity leave for both men and women depending on the situation. Better laws that help families raise children even some sort of incentives for couples that want children, build more schools and cost of education cheaper for children.
The L.A. Asian Guy and health insurance cover for pregnancy!
Foci25EN that is true, as time has changed cost of living has gone up. I am in my 40’s and back then it was cheaper and getting a decent job and raising children was easier...at least in my experience. Now is just trying to be financially stable for a better future.
Foci25EN we only have parent leave available for fathers since a relatively short time in Germany. Also it is still not seen as normal for a father to take care of the children or even be a stay at home dad. It is frowned upon, because of the same mindset, that man have to be providers. It is getting better, though (if the country isn't going any more towards the political right, that is). Also, in France they (and I could be wrong here, it's been some time since I read that) help the parents getting back into the job after the parent leave by giving them nanny's? Surely that's not a necessity, if we had enough kindergarten spaces, but being a caretaker doesn't pay well and so there are less and less people willing to be part of this, which leads to less children being able to find a place there. Which then leads to one parent having to give up their job and that's usually the woman. So people who love their career (or would need both their jobs to support a child) often decide against a child.
Foci25EN but I don't think you are wrong. There is definitely a phenomenon of lowering birth rates nearly all over the global North. Last time I read, not in France, which is why I was so eager to draw a comparison to them. But I think this might have to do with a hopelessness towards the future. When you see all the news, you don't necessarily want to birth a child in this world. Things are getting more expensive while the salary stays the same, jobs are getting more demanding - you even need a university qualification (Abitur) for jobs that don't formally demand that. So people stick to there jobs, to feel secure themselves, combined with the zeitgeist that's not gonna help to get more children :D
Totally agree, Japan doesn’t even have sick leave. If you get the flu you don’t get paid the system is to harsh that way
These two moms looks awesome, so funny, kind and smart! I would love to spend time with them two ! They are so cool
The first lady was super on point!
If Japan wants to continue calling itself a first world country, then it seriously needs to reform its labor laws. Otherwise, it's just a Chinese sweatshop with a shinier coat of paint.
These two ladies are amazing! What a joy it is to see how open they are with their life views & having no worries about any backlash.
Kudos to them for being such strong, intelligent women. 💪 My favorite kind.
As for the subject matter: I have always believed being in partnerships or marriages as they were describing it. Both need to share the rewards and the burdens of life together, thus making the union stronger knowing that your partner will always be there for you and vice-versa.
This episode is now at the top of my favorites list and is one of the best that Ask Japanese has produced so far. i commend the both of you for a job well done!
Please continue to do additional videos like this in the future. The serious pulse of Japan heard on the streets.
A good male example is imperative, and I think it's lacking in modern Japanese society, where men barely see their kids, who are coddled by their mothers. Neither men or women see any benefit in family life, it's just too big of a commitment on top of their already time consuming working lives. You want improvement, start by fixing the attitudes where jobs come first instead of families, and once kids are in the picture the women forget they have husbands instead of ATMs and men think they have a second mother instead of a wife. Who wants a cold marriage where the coddled kid is the only glue holding it together?
Easier said than done - young Japanese men are entering a working environment where ridiculous overtime is expected - you can say they need to put their family as a priority but they won't even get to start a family if they can't find a job, and like the women said young Japanese women are afraid if they start taking time off for their children they'll lose their jobs. The same will be true for the men. So it's either government regulation on working hours or relying on kindergarden and grandparents, or as we're seeing neither and just forgoing children altogether.
YES! THIS! If you want families, you've got to put families FIRST! But that happens at the government level as well as the people voting on legislation. Me? I don't want kids because of the pain of pregnancy, the morning sicknesses, the difficulty sleeping, and the medical issues that arise and require good medical plans. But others might not have those same phobias. Still, it would be nice if people didn't expect women to endure the pain of childbirth and didn't make them feel ugly and unwanted after the birth of a child.
that cat in the end LOL
I'm gonna say the same thing my grandma said once: to make a strong man, this need to let go their mother skirt. And if that doesn't work, kick them hard like a horse.
Yup, she was sweet and all, but she wasn't going to stand baby boys forever, everything has its own moment and the moment of letting go your mother to stand next to your own family and be strong with your partner always comes, sooner or later.
Wisdom at it's truest forms.
Sadly this is on the mother's head. So many helicopter parents today are ruining men and women. I get told how proud they are of me doing simple crap like watering plants. It pisses me off how they treat me like I've been dropped on my head. My straight A college sister making a six digit salary has told me how I'm smarter than her (much lazier also 😅). I probably needed a belt in my younger life not another Pat on the head. At least I'm into boxing and have raised myself to be strong.
@@Dave_The_Musical_Fisherman actually, my parents kinda control(they still do it) me but also encourage me to leave my own bubble. They always made me make sports and take self-defense classes, bcoz hey, I'm a girl, I'm not super big and strong naturally, I had to grow it by myself.
Also, my dad always made me work hard (no, like seriously, he doesn't care if I'm a girl, If I have to help him building our house I have to do it)
Someday I gotta leave the house and leave by my own, I can't be depending on them. Dang, they aren't going to allow me be depending on them
@@HeyMel_B lucky you. Be appreciative of your awesome parents. Also what self defense did you take
Kick the man like a horse . So what about girls? Do they get kick too or is it only for men ?
Wow that interview was really interesting, thank you!
Learn from the Wise! This has to be the best and honest video from just interviewing two experienced lovely mothers. Wish the video was longer!
I've seen other interviews with these two women and this girl on the right has sympathy, personality and intelligence. In addition to considering her attractive, I like her views and her arguments. Fantastic girl!
Too much work / lack of long term relationships / lack of money = Lack of kids. It's happening in my country too.
Best interview so far lol, loves their answers
That part about the necessity of failing when young reminded me of Madoka Kaname's advice from her mother - which I'd never heard anyone articulate in real life before.
Husband overly dependent on wife is common issue I have seen in Asia. These ladies make good point!
I think I'd be more interested to hear from grandparents about this question. I think they would be a lot wiser in this regard. I'd especially love to hear from those around the WWII era.
As someone who would like to be a father, helping out around the house and with the kids is important to me if I get the chance to ever meet someone and have the opportunity to have kids. With Japanese work culture though, I wonder how viable that is because it seems like the guys are deemed to slave away at their desk jobs and the culture deems that the longer you stay at work the more "productive" you are and sometimes that additional time at work is all that keeps them from getting fired even if they're not actually being productive from what I understand. I hear a lot of stories about men who would really love to spend time with their family but just can't because of how the work culture is.
Yay! Way to interview moms! I feel like that is a huge chunk of Japan that is left out of interview videos. I spend so much time with Japanese moms and would love to have more videos of their opinions.
The moms I hang out with have a hard time, because their husbands are working even MORE here than when they were in Japan, because they are trying to get ahead in the company. We have a lot of Japanese businesses in Tennessee. The moms feel isolated and miss their husbands. Everything is put on the moms shoulders. They only see their husbands on weekends. When we talk about their love life it is pretty much nonexistent. Only the women married to Americans talk about having their husbands home,having help around the house, and having a love life.
I would like to watch a video about their opinion of their husbands working so much, and how much schooling their kids do, and what do they do when their husbands are at work and the kids are in school.
Here in Germany maternity leave, kindergartens and all those benefits from the government doesn't really help. The birth rate in Germany is not good either, despise all this stuff. Only the immigrants manage to do it well, although they have a harder time here than native Germans.
What those nice and kind ladies just said, got me.
sometimes I focus so much on not losing, fail and dealing with problems, that I forget to smile and enjoy my victories, ironic because victories end up being bitter drinks. Sometimes I am so focused on finding trenches to rest between battles, always preparing myself for the next battle, that I forget to learn, you could say that I have lived surviving my own victories.
"Failing from time to time is not so bad. Even if you fall, get up and look up, you can learn something from that, failures are a chance!" Those word really got me. I think sometimes you just need some warm, friendly and comfortable words to move forward. Failures can also be shared (now i realize), they can also bring or be an opportunity to be closer.
Finding someone to tell you those words in the midst of your failures should be like finding an oasis in the desert.
ビデオをありがとう、おそらくこれはビデオのポイントではありませんでしたが、それは自分自身を慰めるために私を助けました。
This is the best advice I've heard in a while!! I realised that I spoil my bf too much without realising by acting like his mum by doing housework and other things for him. He's even told me that I act like his mum sometimes.. lol Actually, he is too dependant on his mum (they are japanese) so thats why this advice really hit me. I realised I need to stop doing these things or else he will rely on me to do everything in the future too (regarding children and housework). The type of man I want to marry will be able to share household chores as I intend to work full time too.
Nice video. However, I'd like to add something: lower birth rates are a trend all around the developped countries, not just in Japan. Actually, some European countries fertility rates are lower than the Japanese one (and contrary to Japan, they have the immigration factor). USA isn't far off either. I guess everything comes from the modern lifestyle and economic stagnation.
Pablo G.Q Most people don't understand the difference between birth rate and fertility rate. Japan is actually having more babies than they were 10 years ago. The fertility rate has gone up from 1.26 in 2005 to 1.41 at present. Japan's fertility rate is comparable to a lot of European countries.
ash rai Yes, you are right. I guess Japanese women are having more children, but there are less women in the reproductive age range than 10 years ago so there are less children overall.
I think it is that and that people are rejecting gender roles almost to a damaging point. Girls seem to not want to be “strapped” down with kids. They majorly downplay and reject how important and precious it is to be a mother.
And exposure and education. More people are connected and talking about their mothering experiences and birth process. Yeah...after watching enough videos about the childbirth process online, it's enough to make you want to forgo childbirth ALTOGETHER.
Interesting. This touches on so many levels of economics, community, health, stigma, generational gaps of knowledge, concepts of rearing children disparities of couples, fears and strengths of life. Fascinating!
The birthrates are low, because there are less couples, there are more people that would rather spend they're time making money off a job, than get in a romantic relationship.
Mecks089 I think the work culture is to blame. Work is very intense in Japan so there is no time for getting married.
I also think because some of the Japanese are leaving. There are some being born outside of Japan as well.
This is also likely loosely connected to the other videos, where most Japanese, or at least the women, are more interested in a partner with money or a high-paying job than anything else. So they basically demand of the men a good career and stable salary, then they can't have kids because they're working too much, or just don't want to spend money on a child. Then if they do have kids, the kids can't grow up with any parental guidance other than, "you better do good in school and get a good career". It's probably why the suicide rate is one of the highest, too.
That's right they got to work to live not live to work
It's not that simple as saying everyone in Japan would rather make money then having a relationship. Some of them do want to get in a relationship, and some of them DO want to have kids, but it's important to understand that the work culture in Japan is very hard working and often it doesn't allow much personal free time for them to look after their child. Having a kid is not to be taken lightly.
There are severe costs for having a child in Japan, and you must also do your best to raise them to become good people as they grow older. Having a child with not enough money or the time to look after them when they are at their critical age can hurt the child which can having lasting consequences, being able to live on making the right choices in life, that would help them succeed.
Many Japanese folks realize this, so they weigh in on the decision before they consider conceiving. If the child doesn't have the right conditions (Money, Time, and Care) then it's best for them to focus on taking care of themselves first until they know, they are ready, which unfortunately could be never for some people.
Those two mothers seem so wise awesome video.
Thanks! I felt like I needed to hear this!
I already knew about this problem in Japan, it such a pity that japanese women don't receive correct help infrastructure to rease their children. I just loved the discussion with these two mamas! They bring very good vibes ❤
Man.. for me this is the best episode. Those advices are priceless 😊
Because its expensive.
Our generation does not want children because we can live comfortably without them. Having kids puts a huge strain on your back - no sane person would voluntarily do that.
Andrew Zhoe
That’s a little extreme but for the most part I agree.
Kids are extremely expensive. Factor in the Japanese work culture and it’s no surprise the men and women there aren’t having as many kids.
From the look of these comments, i want to learn japanese to learn from these wise women's advice! It is resonated all over the world; and as a degree carrying single mum who works full time, i agree wholeheartedly!! Love your work ! Looking forward to visiting Japan in 2019 for the sacura season so love watching your videos about life in Japan xx😊
I been watching her videos with no captions on for the longest I just thought she didn’t translate it so I went to settings to put captions on I’m so dumb lol
same. I was wondering why all the comments were in English.
I had stayed in Japan for about 5 and 1/2 years and now recently live in UK. The main problem of low birth rate in Japan is there is no "work life balance". The consequence is that you must put your company as top priority above anything else including your family. When both men or women return to their home in already stressful and tired conditions, they just want to go to sleep, they would not think about dating or even marriage, because tomorrow they have to work again to fulfill their endless deadline in their workplace
They say Hard Times make hard men and hard men make soft times and soft times make weak men and weak men make hard times.
That's bullshit, it just makes numb, insensitive and impassionate folks
most young people said its too expensive, pressure.. and alot of women want to achieve their goals first vs just taking care of a kid. so like these women said.. if we start changing the roles people play.. the husband helps more with taking care of the kid, and then with government support to make it easier to rasie kids in japan as well as overhaul the system ( pressures and expectations) the rate will go up. but what i'm realizing now is most people want to actually marry to be happy not to just have kids for the betterment of japan lol)
Those two ladies are amazing!! I could listen to them all day!!☺️
Omg their advice are pure bliss!!! Very true and rare! Its a wake up call from them. Also, I agree with her! Nowadays, dads should be helping around and its joint collaboration between married couples to share responsibilities.
Sumin Park
LoL how are dads going to help when they work 12 -15 a day. Some even work two jobs
Tell that to full time working mom. Just because he is working that much doesnt mean he can help at some sort.
Sumin Park
LoL you’re trying to make it about gender
why do you think japan has a problem? Both men and women work too much. That is why they aren’t having kids.
Have you ever worked 15 hours a day, 5-7 days a week before? Obviously not if you think people want to do other things besides rest.
So you think that dads should never help their partner on child rearing and house work, just because they are dead tired? If not, live by yourself. I do agree that Japan and even other countries do have crazy working hours that inhibits them from procreating and their government should fix that. However, my point from my original comment is that marriage is a collaboration between married couple. They work together, understand one another, fail together, cry together, share responsibilities, and smile together. Dads should be helping with child rearing, housework, and making sure the family is okay. Do you think moms dont work that much? they have so much in their hands.
Also, dont assume that I never worked 15 hours a day, 5-7 days a week and I just rest. What do you know about me? nothing. Exactly. lol But I'll give you some info about me: I am a nursing student, a mom of two children, a parent, working part timer, a wife, a daughter, a working member of the society or whatever it is you may call. Its all about time management and help from my husband that I get to watch youtube and reply back to you.
Can’t the dad just get another wife?
Those two women are all class. One of your best interviews.
Just a thought, but I wonder what some people remember about their parents teaching them that stands out to them helping them to be who they are?
They were very insightful and had good advice. :)
素晴らしい！ Great interview!
The lady on the right that mentioned 失敗 (making mistakes) mirrors how I feel. I often tell people when learning (photography, English, etc.) that they have to fail. That how you go forward and learn. Perhaps a goofy example, but like a small kid in the kitchen that wants to help momma. Momma says to be careful and not touch the stove. Kids are kids and the kid touches the stove anyway. Oh, burnt hand! Learning opportunity! Won't do that again!
Great interviewees.
What amazing ladies. They've just gone and spoken all kinds of wisdom to me.
In Australia cost of kinder is so high that often the majority if not all one salary goes into paying the kinder and men do as much round the house to share that load. The missing capability is the amount of support grandperants can add so while these ladies have their lectures, what they subscribe to isnt enough. They need to make moves to supporting the upbringing of the children and then maybe the children will be more likely to look after them in their old age which I believe is an issue in Japan
Honestly, I think it's a financial issue, the fact that the genders are so separated in Japanese society, and the fact that pregnancy isn't depicted as a nice experience until AFTER a baby is born, and even then life gets complicated and stressful in many ways. It's painful and debilitating, hard work and expensive, and without a good supportive partner, miserable. Having a baby isn't an easy task. Then after a woman has a baby, she's often considered "less desirable" or less attractive because there's so much emphasis on looking young and feeling young. So, while girls are young, they wait until they're older to have children so they can maintain their attractive points while they still have them.
Very deep! This is my favorite video!
Those ladies were so awesome! 😄
~:~
Its simple. The more intelligent a society gets, the more they rationalize how well they would be able to raise children. Look in places like India, China, and Africa, where the average person live off a few dollars a day. They pump out kids regardless if they are able to raise them. Places like Japan, Europe, and North America, the birth rates are dropping because these places actually think because we take quality of life into consideration. Now Japan may just be one of the smartest countries on Earth, it makes sense they would have a very small birth rate.
I really enjoyed this video! It sounds like the advice that my parents give me. All true and valid!
Good morning, excuseme can you recommend me a link in order to read about this topic, but in japanese please?
Very intersting as well.thanks for this video.
Kindergarten places are very rare i hear it from friends and familie (in germany) and the most when the kids are ill the mothe be at home. I think dads should that do too.
Those two ladies were so awesome and charismatic! However, I think it went a bit off-topic because I barely know why Japan has less kids.... perhaps also ask young people and childless old people?
Wow so many more people need to listen to that! I only disagree with the part where the lady says that it's the duty of women to raise strong men, not only their child but also their husbands. I mean of course you'll raise your child to be strong, but the fathers also should teach their boys to be better men than they were, while also improving themselves. But I do get her point that it is hard for the fathers to do it now since they were pampered, so the mothers better do it or nothing will actually change. If all the new parents today would start doing that, very soon we'll see big changes on the perseptions around having a child.
Two smart, beautiful, amazing mothers right there ❤️ great video as usual
In the Philippines the parents love their children a lot! But somehow we aren't "weak" most likely because our friends toughen us up. I mean toughen up in a physical and mental way, guys here literally joke around about who punches harder and we try to flex at each other etc. Now here in the Philippines the women here are...um sometimes more "ballsy" than the guys. I no joke saw a clasmate of mine (both were female) uppercut her friend at the ass. I know its somewhat weird but hey at least we know that their bonds are deep... poor choice of words but I'm on the internet so who cares!
Anyways I liked the answers since it's somewhat true, I was raised by a..."over" protective Mom I always thought of her as a restrictive person but I understood her reasons. I grew up and started to develop a thick skin when I was around 10 since my parents divorced...she looked so broken. Eyes red, skin as pale as a cloud she looked as if she was about to give out. I think I developed my thick skin out of necessity since I saw how "weak" my Mom was, sadly she noticed that I was changing, she apologized "Sorry...I'm sorry that you have to see me like this" of course that hurt me since she knows that it was her and my Dad's fault that I lost my "childhood", that I had to sacrifice it to try and become mature as fast as possible. It also didn't help that my older brother has speaking problems (empathy towards others to be specific)
I'm currently 15 and studying hard, my life has already been a bumpy one and I expect it to be an even harder one. I am lucky though that my Mother as well as several of her siblings are quite well of, not exactly rich but for sure richer than the regular people.
Sorry for making this comment a long one... and too focused on my life not the video
I loved the video and I love kids. It was wonderful to hear what they had to say and I agree. A child is born with a blank page and both parents should write upon the child's blank pages together for a life time of wisdom. A marriage of two people in love willingly help each other without feeling it is like job duties demanded of them.
As a male, i totally agree, but the women need to realize when a man is training his son to be a man and fight her urge to protect and do every thing for the child... whether male or female.
This is beside the point, but just looking at the title of the video so far, it really seems like the word "fewer" is dying out (and yes, this is among native English speakers pretty much all over, so it's not a mistake by a 2nd language learner, but rather picked up from common use among natives). (By the way, your English is amazing. No German accent at all...and no German or English accent when speaking Japanese, either!) I did grow up with it "fewer", though. I was taught that "less" is for uncountable objects (less water) and fewer is for countable objects (fewer people). But now, it's all "less". I've seen that happen until now, I almost never come across "fewer". Also, "lie down" is now almost always "lay down", whereas "lay" is traditionally a transitive verb and the past tense of "lie", and "lie" is traditionally an intransitive verb that doesn't take an object. ("I will lie down." "I will lay it down.") It's strange. Of course, people older than I can tell you about when "whom" disappeared. I am not fluent at all in Japanese, but I have heard that "tabereru" has taken over "taberareru" for "can eat", and other Group 2 Ichidan verbs are the same. Is that the case? Has "tabereru" generally replaced "taberareru" in that situation, or is this still looked down on as lazy grammar in general? (I prefer "tabereru" for "can eat" myself, as it does not get confused with the "passive" voice.)
Bottom line - no kids, no future. If people think it's expensive now, what happens when there are fewer people producing things?
Robots
No kids, no suffering...For them. As for your misery, too bad. Take that up with your breeders. They dragged you into this.
I think it's a geographical problem and a question of state support why Japanese mothers don't want children. The both mothers in the video sound more like emancipated women and not really faithful. I doubt men in Japan don't feel to care for their own children. My father is Japanese and he had to laugh after watching this video.
How are they "not really faithful"? Because they want lives of their own outside of just raising children? Both mothers _and_ fathers should be able to have that. Their labor laws are cruel and need to be changed for everyone's benefit. If Japan wants to continue calling itself a first world country, it needs to recognize the people's right to time off. Otherwise it's just a shinier version of the Chinese sweatshop.
I guess at some point most of japan's youth are going to realize it's time to act or the country dies it'll surely take sometime but with technology developing extremely fast it seems as each day passes by we lose a part of our humanity, i hope someday in the future We'll get to experience what it meant to be a human once more.
The birth rate may be dropping but the foster orphanages are growing. That would be an interesting question to see why their is a stigma with fostering other people kids or adoption.
This is not different than in many western countries in the world. Daycare is expensive or difficult to find quality ones. I support these women not to be pressure into getting married and having kids.
Along with that Japan will have too many people wanting to retire which will break their system.
"If you like your men weak, then just pamer them and do all their duties for them." Around our workplace's kitchen when some fool left a mess and did not clean it up, the expression was "your mother doesn't work here, so clean up after yourself!"
I think that there are various reasons why Japanese these days do not have many kids. It think that a big reason why is that Japanese tend to be more responsible than other people. More responsible people generally tend to have fewer kids, as they think before they pop them out. "Are my finances in order? Can I care for a child? Can I give enough of my time to my current child if I have another?" Things like that. Of course, there are people living in impoverished countries on the brink of starvation who are still having kids, but I feel that is a big reason why their countries are in shambles. No responsibility there. Continuing with other reasons, Japanese people tend to be shy. (Shyness is often a sign of responsibility as well.) They are not into "dating" as much as elsewhere. There are nampas, but generally, asking someone out is a big deal, and many skip the opportunity. Also, related to the major "responsibility" reason is the fact that most Japanese people live in cramped apaatos where even one child puts a strain on the household. Walls are paper-thin as well (sometimes literally, but often figuratively), so if you have one child, say goodbye to your sex life, as your child will hear every "iku" coming from the adjoining room. Those are the main reasons I have.
Rationalific
This. A lot of Japanese people will think further ahead when it comes to having kids. Is there enough time? Is there enough money? A lot take it seriously and think it through.
Here in the US, it’s like who cares. Pregnant? Have the kid. Get government assistance. What? Pregnant again? Just have it.
+JEFFREY: Thanks for your reply!
Along the lines of this video and one of your previous video’s you should ask Japanese mother’s about having non Japanese in laws or such because increasing the population can also be a problem with the fact that Japan likes to remain its own when times are changing and change is needed @Askjapanese
An other way to get answers about this question is to ask your own mother how they are doing it in Germany. Because Germany's birthrate was lower than Japan and the trend is up again now.
♥ muy buen video!!
El consejo de estas madres valen oro, hay sabiduría!!♥
Great, i like the two Ladies , their are absolutely right and and the statement applies not only to weak japanese men but also to european ones. I am very interested in more videos with Japanese with more life experience and their perspective. Keep up^^
I don't know this for a fact but I believe people in Japan already have hard enough lives with all the cultural pressure to succeed and always think and act towards the common wealth so when they get that little amount of "me time" they don't wanna exchange that for the burden that's raising kids.
I love these two ladies, they're so not how I would imagine Japanese mothers to be.
actually wise and true words
They're so open minded about the new generation and the thing about men is true af
When are you going to livestream?
No matter Japan has too many cars,buses,bullet trains whom they are going to carry in around 50 years.robots or people that will be interesting.
Why not English subtitles?
just can't get why Japan society so envious with mothers take a maternity leave…
in Indonesia maternity leaves up to 3 months & still got payments…
but the other will take cover theirs job but when urgent situation occurs they will got called for asking job matters
handi winoto Japan is an aging nation. Their workers are already working overtime to make up by the loss of population thanks to decreasing birthrates.
There are more old people in Japan than young individuals.
Let us say a company needed 10 workers to complete a specific task. Now let us say those 10 workers became old and now retire... but because of the lack of children, there are only 2 new young individuals taking their spots to replace them. There are just not enough people. Those 2 individuals have to produce as much as those 10 individuals, and how do you do that? You overwork them. You make them work OVERTIME. And it's not like they have a choice, the whole economy would collapse if they weren't working overtime.
When people retire, they get pensions. Who do you think pay those pensions??? The government gets money to pay for it through taxes. With less workers out there, there are less taxes in revenue.
With less workers, companies will start to notice that they can't really operate in that nation and will be forced to move out of the country to find "workers". This is really bad since companies PAY TAXES if they have their offices in the nation. If they leave, the government will lose A LOT more in taxes. ..
So with decreasing revenue, and an increasing spendicture, Japan is on its way to an economic collapse.
Of course, unless the population starts having MORE babies...
so in other words, they CANT HAVE maternity leave because companies CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE A MOTHER WORKER FOR 3 MONTHS. There are just not enough people to make up for the loss worker
I love the way these mothers thinking. It's a bless I have these type of mother as well. I agreed with the weak men. There are too many weak men on the society. Well depend on which place I think, if in my country, Indonesia, too many parents pampering their kids, either boys or girls. So they live like a prince or princess, its so sick to see those type of people around when you hit 20++, where you would see many girls will wait for their parents to fetch them home from their work place and a lot of guys who will always get on to taxi even there is a motorbike taxi here. Well, in Indonesia, we still maintain a good birth rate, because of the population we had, and the biggest problem from the birth is the parents didn't teach their kids, so the kids become very naughty and inpolite. So, better becareful when visit here, kids here can't be told, even the kids are distrubing you, the parents will keep silent and pretend like nothing happen.
Klo mnurut saya sih tentang pulang kerja pake taxi ato dijemput orangtua sih itu masalah keamanan di lingkungan hidup. Klo dari saya sndiri ya sbenernya jg ga mau diantarjemput/naik taxi pas kuliah ato kerja. Malahan pengen naik bus/sepeda/jalan kaki tapi lingkungannya ga memungkinkan bagi saya sndiri untuk merasa aman. Hal-hal sperti itu cuman bisa saya lakukan pas saya kuliah di luar negeri yg notabenenya lebih aman dari negara sndiri.
Memang untuk dijemput pas pulang kerja atau kuliah itu karena keamanan lingkungan, tapi ada opsi lain selain naik bus/sepeda/jalan kaki, itu adalah bawa motor atau bawa mobil sendiri (mobil untuk keluarga yang mendukung). setidaknya begitu. di kota yang saya tinggal, Batam. lumayan banyak orang (cewek) yang memilih untuk tidak belajar bawa mobil atau motor demi di antar jemput sama pacar. itu hal yang saya tidak mengerti kenapa harus melakukan hal begitu, jika suatu saat pacar itu sudah bukan pacar lagi bukannya orang itu menjadi merepotkan semua orang disekitarnya?
ピンチはチャンス
no subtitle in English😢
おはようございますこのトピックについてのリンクを私にお勧めできますか？
is the right mum full japanese? maybe kyushu looks are a bit different?
Oh I love these two ladies, exactly how I want my partner to be. Strong, smart, and funny.
That women is so wise
This women are right on point! When the men are weak its women fault.
My aunt never pampered his sons..
You should see his sons being dependent men.
And there is my ex hubby that never lift a finger for anything.
When he needs to carry his family..he expect me
we dont only see low birthrate in japan we see it all over the "western world" though there tend to be kindergartens other places. i don't believe that you just call 1 or 2 things as the reason(s) for low birthrate. it is likely the changes from after WWII till now, the changes japan experienced transforming into and as a "western country" so to speak. so there would be a lot of things attributing but no 1 small thing as a course
These ladies r amazing 😂😂
I like them both. Thumbs up for them
VERY GOOD POST
i think I've got answer of Japan's dropping birthrate. I also asked from native Japanese. Please watch my video if you agree.
🧐👍🏼Cathy, you found some wise ladies. I’d keep in contact with them, they could be great mentors for you or your friends. They have experience & have learned along the way.
Philippines needs to learn from them.
Really some times its the other way around the mother's will work and the dad stays home in other countries.
Sad Canadians
Not usually in japan
JEFFREY oh yeah no not in japan my bad
Japan projected population in 2100 will be 60 million from 127 million in 2018.japan has more deaths than births for past two years and will continue.japanese should have fertility rate of 4 from 1.4 in order to safeguard from extinction.is it possible ASK JAPANESE.
That's so good
おはようございます
みなさんこんにちは
You gave us an idea about the difficulties, which Japanese women have to face in their daily life.
It is evident that these problems are common to every working woman in Europe and elsewhere.
As to what concern the number of children per woman, for instance, the birth rate in France and in Great Britain is about 2.07 children; meanwhile it is only 1.46 children in Japan.
That is why there will be, in the coming future, a real demographic problem chez vous.
And:“それで、来るべき将来、本当の人口問題が起こるでしょう。”
これらの面白い動画をありがとう
Have a nice day,
So true!
The birth rate here is insane, its like eveyday the maternity wards are filled with new borns, Bcuz of that i assumed that human being breed like mosquitos 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂