The Defensive Gaslighting Employee
Вставка
- Опубліковано 7 жов 2021
- THE GASLIGHTING EMPLOYEE, PART 2: THE DEFENSIVE GASLIGHTER
Sometimes employees appear to be gaslighting you - telling you that things aren’t the way you think they are, that you didn’t tell them something you believe you did, that they didn’t know they were supposed to do something, and so on - but what they’re really doing is defending themselves against - well - YOU.
For whatever reason, they’re not performing. And they feel defensive about it, and unable to and/or unsafe about asking you for the help they need to improve.
In this video, I explain why this happens, and what you can do about it.
#GaslightingEmployee, #PsychologicalSafety #ChallengingEmployee, #GraceJudson
RESOURCES
==========
The Community of Practice, Learning, and Experience for first-line managers: www.gracejudson.com/first-line managers
Part 1, the Intentional Gaslighter Gaslighter: • The Gaslighting Employ...
Article on the Gaslighting Employee: www.gracejudson.com/5-tips-fo...
The movie! www.imdb.com/title/tt0036855/
TWEET THIS VIDEO: ctt.ac/1Y8Uc
SAY HI ON SOCIAL:
================
LinkedIn: / gracejudson
Facebook: / grace.judson
Twitter: / gracejudson
• The Defensive Gaslight...
I know it's maddening when an employee appears to be dishonest and defensive about their mistakes. But there are so often reasons *why* that can really be FIXED! So, tell me - have you experienced this - either as a leader, or as an employee? Let me know here in the comments. And don't forget to watch Part One of this two-part series on gaslighting: ua-cam.com/video/fmOF1qkpgqg/v-deo.html
I want to see a video about employees gaslighting customers for flipping out when the business screws up, and often threatening to call security.
Yikes. Is this something that happened to you?
A self aware boss. Never met one.
Thank you for your videos you are helping me better and grow ❤️ 💕
Yay! I'm delighted to hear that. I hope you've also checked into the resources (free) on my website!
Hey thank you for your video...that being said I am an employee that has dedication and integrity at my work place I spoke to my lead and supervisor about the way they are running our shift by not following protocol clocking out to smoke cigarettes and not staying off there phone...I had to speak with our supervisor’s higher up and our Vic president due to them not changing the way they are running the shift after I spoke to them about 3 months ago and i have been picking up the slack for my other fellow coworker due to him just hanging out with our lead during our shift and watching stuff on there phones...they have been wrote up for it...I don’t want them to leave due to when we work on a day shift around our bosses they work harder and more effectively...how do I encourage or inspire them to be more dedicated to just follow the already signed and agreed procedures we all agreed upon?
Frank - OUCH - tough situation.
What did your supervisor say? It sounds like you're not the lead in this situation - am I right on that?
I applaud your desire to pick up the slack as a dedicated employee, but if you're doing work that's not yours to do, then those people who aren't doing their share are getting away with it.
I know it's hard, but can you talk with your co-worker and say - hey - am I crazy to think that we should both be following the procedures we all agreed on?
This is what's called a no-oriented question: a question that invites the answer "No!" (because we all want to say "no" when we're being confronted), but in saying "no" the other person is actually agreeing with what you want them to do.
Does that make sense? Feel free to ask a follow-up question!
Thank you ... yes I am the employee and I have spoken to them about it but there was no change so I spoke to the head above my supervisor...my lead and fellow coworker got wrote up...my lead said he is now following protocol to the tee but refuses to do anything extra to help out the other shifts...I feel alot of tension while I am around any of the other crews...but at least work is getting done...how do I help the company get the teams to help push each other up instead of pushing each other down?
@@franklimon7585 ... well, at least there's SOME progress there!
There's clearly a lot at play here, and it sounds like it's fundamentally a problem with the overall company culture. As one employee in the mix, it's HARD to have the kind of impact you'd clearly like to be having!
Are there people on the other teams who can join you in this effort? That might be one option.
Is there any kind of process there to make suggestions for improvement? I'm going to guess, from what you've said so far, that there isn't, but I figured I'd ask!
When you're dealing with an ingrained company culture issue, there really aren't a lot of options. Sometimes we just have to recognize that there are two choices: stay and deal with it as best we can, OR find another opportunity at another, hopefully better, company. I wish I had something better to offer, but that is often what it comes down to.
Thank you so much for your videos and replying back...I am the only one on any of the three crews that is not willing to just keep my head down and go with the flow... I feel my workmates need encouragement when they do the right practices as well as me stepping up to being the leader I wish I had so I can influence them to have pride in there work thru my example ...my current lead that got wrote up keeps telling me what happened when they sat him down and how poorly they spoke to him ...so I gave him several suggestions like be confident in himself and speak clearly to them about how they made him feel with the things they where calling him but I know without a shadow of a doubt he's lieing about the whole thing...again thank you for your time and suggestions...if you have any other ideas please let me know
@@franklimon7585 ... You seem to really have the leadership qualities any company ought to want. At this point, all I can really add is what I've already said: if they're not appreciating you and the culture is that difficult to be in, then ... well, the hiring market is WIDE OPEN right now, right? I wish I had a magic wand to wave and make it all work well, but sadly, that's just not possible in some situations.