Yo fellas/girls, sorry about the hiatus. This video is a little different to the usual, but I'm going to exercise my freedom a little this year and have more fun doing stuff I find interesting. Hope you will come along for the ride. x
Yeah. He's just a dude in front of a camera. No act or anything. Notice he doesn't even censor his videos like most influencers do to maximize profits and monetization. Joe seems to do this bc he genuinely likes doing it first and foremost
My self improvement tip for anyone out there: Have good friends and family members around you, let people into your life, don't take life so seriously, stay healthy and eat right, go find love, enjoy the boring moments in life, and lastly keep everything simple and in moderation. Goodluck to you and I wish you the best.
@@RelaxAndSmokeMeth Nah, you got to invite it in but it'll happen if you cast a wide net and stay open. Trying to min/max relationships and love is how you fall down the blackpill incel rabbit hole of bitterness. Like Joe said, people dance around the akwardness of building relationships and the pain of rejection but its not that bad and you'd be surprised how much actually doing the things pays off. I am a true top 1% introvert but Joe is correct that the glorification of solitude is mostly a trap to convince lonely people that not trying/waiting is the noble thing, not a justification of their fears.
@@DA-og5pj Thats where you are wrong though. I hope you can think critically. Your mindset will ONLY make you want more and more, you'll never be satisfied. I never said i want to be average because the average person is very unhealthy with poor relationships. I want succes, for me that is not the equivalent of status and LOTs of money. Succes is being very good and disciplined at what i love doing and being fit with good people around me. Your definition of a "great man" is childish and that's fine. Not everyone can look past fame and money
“Most people know what they need to do to improve themselves or their lives. Self improvement is just a dance they do, while they’re psyching themselves up to do it” This hit me hard. I’ve actually pretty much mastered all the routines, hacks, disciplines, lists and lifestyles. All without really tackling a couple of really big issues I should’ve addressed years ago. Indulge in self improvement by all means. Just don’t let it become another form of procrastination.
For me It’s helped me realize what exactly the problems are. It’s a form a soul searching, but I prefer people like dr k. Maybe that’s not self help. But it helped me realize I shouldn’t drink so much, and maybe I should stop using weed at 21. And I’ve done those things. Now I’m trying to figure out how to make my job easier by figuring out how to sustainably keep myself healthy and mentally sharp. I’m hoping that within a year I’ll have figured that stuff out. But I’m afraid I’ll get stuck in a cycle of being placed under lots of stress and losing whatever progress I made. So I have a certain determination to actually change, but who tf knows how I will feel after being stressed for a long time
The part about self-improvement being a form a procrastination from the thing that actually needs done is absolutely spot on. I used to be stuck in a trap of trying to optimise every little detail to the point where it took so long to actually start doing the important task at hand. This is the kind of video that many people need
@@CPSFC yep. I think most of us go through that phase when we’re young and feel lost/confused. But over time you realize that doing things you genuinely enjoy is the best way forward
@@BrandonTalksFitness Yep. Some people are too focused on what's the most productive, beneficial, or optimal thing when sometimes you should just chill out and do whatever you wanna do simply bc it's enjoyable
@@BrandonTalksFitness 100% Its like they need a positive reason to do anything. Enjoy a movie with your wife / girlfriend? nah, only if its a masculinity movie that moves me forward I think once you start learning from the 'happiest' people it helps a lot!
Spot on Joe. I used to do some of the popular self improved things. “Doing nothing” was not worth my time. Every walk had to be atleast x steps long, I had to listen to educational podcast, I had to write down my goals, what I was grateful for, thing I did well and things I could improve on. I couldn’t just watch a movie or show for fun. Fun wasn’t useful. I had to learn, I had to grow. It burned me out. What I did instead: some therapy to help me deal with trauma I was not addressing by distracting myself with fluff, learning that ‘doing’ nothing is very useful (fun movies are fun), being alone with my own thoughts instead of dimming them with another 2 hour podcast I can’t even recall now, enjoying a walk for what it is, not using it at a vessel for useful stuff, switching to firm where unpaid extra hours aren’t glorified, spending more time with friends an family instead of being alone reaching my “goals”.
"Fun wasn’t useful. I had to learn, I had to grow. It burned me out" man I swear I was in the same exact boat. For the longest time I thought that was the right path to follow, but then I realized that I wasn't going anywhere because there isn't really and end to that path. It's infinite. So the hard part was trying to realize that I have already everything that I needed, the "constantly searching" thing was really not necessary for my own self, or maybe it was some kind of coping mechanism. The trick is to have the courage to let everything go.
Phenomenal post mate! People are starting to realise this. I’m a self improvement junkie as much as the next person, trying to optimise my life where I can. But I think much of it is a trap, the more self improvement you do, the more deficient you think you are. There’s always something missing. I heard an idea recently which is ‘self unfoldment’. It might sounds like another buzzword, but the idea is that you already have all the potential in the world, you’re just in the process of letting more of it out. Less forcing cookie cutter habit building, more following what you actually find fun, invigorating, enjoyable etc.
“The more self improvement you do, the more deficient you think you are” thanks for sharing that man. I think that’s how I’m feeling, having that thought for a long period of time can really make you see yourself like a looser and then act as a looser. I’m trying to get out of it.
Make a part 2 Joe. And more videos like this. You’re clearly an intelligent guy and especially linguistically talented. You have the thoughts we all have but illustrate them in a way most of us cannot. Best of luck with fatherhood and the rest of your life in general. You make a great dad
Hey again, Joe. I’ve known about you for some time but just now started watching some of your videos. I really like your views on things as they match mine very closely. For example, the doing things to enjoy them and stop worrying about benefits and such. Just smell the flowers on the walks. Feel the breeze. Enjoy the sounds of kids playing in the park. Keep up the great work!
I had a feeling that we had reached peak bullshit, and usually if you're feeling something everyone else is too. Concisely and eloquently expressed by this chap, top lad.
03:28 describes perfectly how I feel about the internet and the type of people it is creating. We're all being taught to "think like the rich" and as far as I'm concerned the more we do that the more self absorbed we become and the more we move away from society. We're raising a generation of narcissists who view relationships as transactional. I've seen multiple Instagram posts complaining about the standard of living in the west at the moment and all the comments are 20-30 year old men saying stuff like "It's not my fault you don't have a side hustle", "work harder", "socialism bad". It's absolutely cringe. People are drinking the Andrew Tate cool aid (which in itself is not all bad) but the ego's these people develop and the me vs the world mentality they adopt is cringe. You can want and achieve better for yourself whilst advocating for people less fortunate than yourself, the two are not mutually exclusive. The change we want to see in the world comes from our behavior, if everyone behaves like a selfish c**t then we'll create a society of selfish c**ts. So, go and get better for yourself but keep in mind that we live in a society and the world does not revolve around your wants and needs.
Awesome video Joe! I was down the rabbit hole of (self)hatred for a long time, distrusting everything and everyone. Seemingly the only thing that got me out of it were the people who told me to be myself and do what matters to me. Learn to think for yourself and be sceptical about what you hear from others, but don't be cynical. I love your work, it's amazing.
One of the quotes in Stoicism from Seneca about friends that I like: “If you are looking on anyone as a friend when you do not trust him as you trust yourself, you are making a grave mistake, and have failed to grasp sufficiently the full force of true friendship.” This is why I like Stoicism so much, as it focuses on human interaction and that friendship is something beautiful and imperative in our lives. If we have a friend, we should "speak as unreservedly with him as we do with ourselves"
One of the best videos I watched in a while. I hate how this self improvement bs is forced down everyones throats nowdays, convincing you that your life is shit when it's actually quite normal and good and trying to make you feel like you're not enough. Selling you silly routines and habbits thats ultimately just distract you from your actual goals. I'm hoping for pt.2 and honestly more videos like this. You can only make so many fitness videos but you definitely have more wisdom to share in other areas of life.
You can tell he really spends time in meditation. What he's speaking about is self-awareness and being present, not fixating on the future or losing yourself to what other people think. But seeing your stream of consciousness for what it is. An illusion. And being liberated by living in the now. Not in the tomorrow or yesterday. LOVE THIS CONTENT JOE!!
0:56 Couldn't agree more, mate. Every bit of this video resonated with me . SO glad you finally said what I think so many of us are actually thinking. Part 2 Please. This is peak JoeyD
My god, dude, you put it into words. Thank you for sharing all this with us. A line of thought: Self Improvement can not only be a dance but a distraction and an escape from a life or a reality that feels lacking in some way. I think people tend to turn to this extremely rigid form of self - Improvement because of an underlying anxiety of them or their lives never feeling good enough and are then sold a performative and often empty version of self improvement that promises the relief of these anxieties through reaching a state of perfection and productivity in everything they do, be it oh so small as making your bed in the morning. It‘s the idea of total control over who you are and who you become. At the same time, it puts a constant focus on everything that you‘re not already, that you‘re still lacking. This further fuels your anxieties, ultimately trapping you in an endless cycle of „there’s something wrong with me“ and „let me fix it“. And the moral high ground of improving yourself easily blinds you to the reality that a, that’s hardly what you’re actually doing, and b, you might actually be pretty okay the way you are.
I don’t think this could have been articulated any better. Please do a part 2, I simply love your thought processes and the way you dissect these types of subjects, which quite frankly I have never even thought of or cared about, but you have a way of bringing interest to it in a way I can’t explain. And this is why, Joe Delaney, you are OUR hero
i’m so grateful for this vid cuz it’s so real. i remember being depressed and low self esteem and just watching tons of self improvement videos without ever thinking about my problems with my own perspective. it feels very unnatural to live this way and you’re never really present in the moment when you fall into this trap and make what these self improvement gurus tell you such a big part of your life. life as a kid is so great when you’re just living and enjoying life for what it is rather than living life based on someone else’s terms doing stressing over trying to grow all the time. stop getting wrapped up in improving and enjoy life
Amen. The "hustle culture" and " productivity culture" that have been drilled into society has actually detracted from my life so much. It absorbed so much of my time and effort that even when I hit my big goals and found myself having the ideal life for myself, I still felt like I wasn't good enough, and wasn't able to be grateful for all that I have because I kept feeling like I wasn't "there" yet. I'm not saying that I am complacent and not trying to improve myself in ways I know I should (learning, growing, introspection), but my life is good, and I want to be able to enjoy that even if it doesn't look like Huberman's ideal routine, haha.
Great perspective Joe. After about 15 years enjoying seminars/books in the self development space i'm coming to a similar conclusion particularly on Social Media that the point seems to be missed. As much as selfish goals are important especially to build a solid foundation i keep coming back to the fact that real fulfillment is found in the question "What can i give" instead of "What can i gain". In a genre filled with empty bragging particularly about superficial items this is a breath of fresh air mate.
Totally agree. It’s often pathological, it’s addictive and it’s a form of procrastination. It makes people think that if someone’s circumstances are bad that it’s because of some “mistake” or “the wrong mindset” when at its worst.
Production value of this is insane, Joey D! I have loved watching your philosophical takes and outlook on life for the past 10 years (albeit some of that philosophy originally centred on pancakes and fingering in the early days). Think you would do some serious damage on the Modern Wisdom podcast with your original thoughts and often contrarian viewpoint.
As someone who has been doing “self-improvement” I do agree. Sometimes I do something purely because of its health benefits. Guilty of letting it become part of my personality at points and not being content with where I’m at. However, there are some major benefits. It makes you aware of your downfalls and improving on these, or at least being aware of them, is always a good thing. It’s helped me to become a better person, to the benefit of my friends and family. Plus mental health has never been in a better place.
Been following you for a while, obviously your gym videos got me here but im definitely interested in your way of seeing things not only in regards to the gym but life in overall. Really enjoyed this video. I take you as a knowledgeable, straightforward, no BS content creator. You can make whatever content you want id still be up for checking it out just because of your personality and the value you add. Thanks man🙏
Solid video Joe. "It's not the thing, its the place its coming from". Nothing you seek externally will ever fill the void you feel inside of you. The state of happiness/abundance comes from within the mind, its about realizing that you are already whole and no external pursuit will make you complete. Its not about doing, its about undoing the thoughts that make you believe you're not already complete. Everyone keeps chasing and chasing external things in the hope that one day they'll feel content, but even when they get what they want, sure they get a high out of it for some time but it never lasts. Nothing you pursue externally is ever going to make you happy permanently (dopamine isnt infinite). The real gold comes from looking within yourself, asking yourself why you fear certain situations (introspection) and coupling that with mindfulness meditation. There are so many pitfalls with this, its hard to do right but its the key and its the only key there ever was. The mind is what generates your entire experience of the world, your perception of the world (good or bad) at any moment dictates how you feel, so of course if you seek Happiness (capital H for the state of mind, not the emotion/dopamine release) it has to come from within. A lot of poor people are some of the Happiest people in the world - it comes from their internal state of mind. You can go so far with this. Just look at the monk in vietnam who self imolated in protest against the vietnam war - he did not flinch or scream once. That's because he changed his entire perception on pain (pain is not a negative thing, its just sensations you feel on your skin nothing else). I'm just making this extreme example to show how powerful mindfulness meditation + introspection is (that is how he got there). Of course some pain is necessary for survival and these should not be let go of, but a lot of fears people have generate the same survival instinct fear response as physical pain and those are the ones to let go of. I know this probably sounds so absurd to some of you but yeah... if you want a permanent abundant state of mind look within and neutralize the perception you have of certain negative emotions by asking yourself why it's so bad, getting to the root cause of why theyre so bad and then letting go of the associated sensations through mindfulness meditation. This stuff is so powerful.
Pls part 2! I needed this video a while ago. I was just procrastinating on my work by consuming self improvement content. Learning about the health benefits of walking, whilst sitting on my ass in front of a computer everyday.
There's absolutely a fine line between wanting to improve yourself and becoming a slave to yourself. It's difficult to know exactly why we do certain things that we think are helping us and to know if we're actually getting the benefit of said thing that we'd intended.
in brief: The video discusses several issues with modern self-improvement culture. 1. **Critique of Self-Improvement Culture:** Delaney questions the culture, mentality, and methods of contemporary self-improvement, suggesting that much of it serves commercial interests rather than genuine self-betterment. 2. **Problem with Personal Gain Focus:** He criticizes the emphasis on personal gain in self-improvement, arguing that viewing relationships and activities solely through the lens of personal benefit can be detrimental and lead to a perpetual state of wanting. 3. **Industries Posing as Helpful:** Delaney warns against self-improvement industries that disguise their true motives, ranging from helpful intentions to exploitative practices. He advises due diligence and skepticism when spending money on self-improvement products or services. 4. **Ceremonial and Indirect Approaches:** The video highlights the indirect nature of many self-improvement practices, questioning the need for overly complex routines and activities that may not directly contribute to personal growth. 5. **Glorification of Solitude:** He critiques the trend of glorifying solitude and small social circles in self-improvement, arguing that it shouldn't be confused with genuine self-betterment. 6. **Encouragement to Proceed with Caution:** Delaney encourages viewers to approach self-improvement with caution and skepticism, recognizing that while it can be transformative, it also has pitfalls and traps. 7. **Rational Perspective on Self-Improvement:** He suggests adopting a rational perspective, learning from a diverse range of sources, and being wary of overly simplistic or commercialized advice. Overall, the video presents a critical and nuanced view of self-improvement, advocating for a more balanced and skeptical approach to personal development.gpt4
I am glad that Joe values informing people more than being clickbaity and chasing content trends. It's so easy to get caught up in numbers but Joe's channel stays refreshing and genuine.
One major flaw with Self Improvement ideologies is the "self" part. Only focusing on the self, for the sake of self. Real self improvement will improve relationships, not make them more shallow or destroy them.
I believe this is the best critique of the whole movement. I feel like the new term should be "Life Improvement" which encompasses personal and relational goals.
The first quote is also really dangerous because if someone is unhappy with themselves it can also encourage them to blame their friends/distance themselves from their friends for the grind or whatever. It's snobbery for wannabe gurus and will ruin very good friendships
I'm glad this video exists. A lot of self-improvement content online isn't really about self-improvement, it's more about promoting circlejerking attitudes. People become too absorbed in the idea of reaping personal gain from every activity they do that they forget the basic human joy of just doing something for the sake of it, or just being nice to people for the simple sake of being nice. idk lol
Damn Joey D making serious brain gains 🧠, But seriously, please make a part 2 the points you raised in this video came across really authentic, and as if you’ve been mulling over them for some time before sharing, The point about going on a walk, because it’s good for you instead of enjoying the walk itself was such a good point (also kind of refreshing when compared against the sea of content urging you to wake up before sunrise, take a cold plunge, get some sunlight, down the ag1, eat some liver and go for a 5k all before 7am) But also, the fact that you cut the argument by saying there isn’t anything wrong with the above habits if they stem from legitimate interest as opposed to being forced, really gives a well-balanced view of the topic. I’d be really interested in a part 2 to this topic, providing you come at it with the same well thought out approach, If not, this video alone does a pretty good job and making people (me included) reflect on their habits/goals/motivations Thanks Joey D ❤
Love that there seems to be a small shift in realizing how nonsense most of the industry is, although I kind of disagree in the better to learn from a lot of people or a lot from one person. I do agree against the cult of personality stuff, but to me that feels like reading a few pages from a lot of books. If someone is an expert at a topic you want to also be an expert in, having a mentor type figure can be really valuable if they can adequately break down all the steps along the way
The third one is so true. So much of self improvement advice is just menial tasks to try and "build discipline" while avoiding the shit you actually need to do. Never really heard it verbalised before but it makes so much sense now that you said it
This video has genuinely made me want to change my life for the better and actually do it this time. The part where you mention about doing things to sike ourself up to do what we ACTUALLY want to do has resonated with me more than anything I’ve consumed before. Do that thing that you’re dancing around.
Absolutely spot on with this. I reckon some people spend more time consuming self-improvement media than actually trying to self-improve, even I'm guilty of that in the past.
In my opinion, the self-improvement industry managed to find a way to sneak into people's life when initially (most) of the people were feeling fine as they were. It really brought an obsession that it was never needed by (again most) people. It could be helpful in many ways, but when it wants to serve the purpose of ultimately having to be perfect in every way and being obsessed with habits, in result it is the ultimate trap to fall into. Having stress about life in general is one thing. But having stress about things you want to apply to your life that you think will bring joy, happiness, discipline and all the other bullshit that the self-improvement industry promises is another. Keep it up Joe, this is what the world needs to hear in order to wake up from the dreams that these industries sell.
Love the practical thinking in this video. In a world full of distraction it’s like a breath of fresh air. All I have ever achieved has came from actual practicality. I do worry a lot, however I remind myself of ‘the only thing to fear is fear itself’ and to control what I can (which is here and now) and let go of the rest. Definitely need a part 2 Joe 😎👍🏼
This is such a great video, and very much something that needs to be talked about. Too often people push their own goals (legit or otherwise) onto other people. I was asked several times about my 2024 goals. I have a few things on my list, mostly just to remember what I need/want to do so it's not always "too late" when the opportunity comes up (e.g. booking a weekend away when there is a long weekend, hard to do last minute!). But I had several people I know who are into trading, say "any financial goals?" somewhat disdainfully, as if my life was somehow lacking because I didn't have a more ambitious goal of self and financial improvement and rather just wanted to visit more farmers markets and perfect my sourdough. This attitude is part of the self-improvement trap - there is no one set of "ideal" goals, or an ideal state. If money isn't important to you, you don't need financial goals. If losing weight isn't important to you, that doesn't need to be a goal. You can just live, and do what you want to do each day. And living can mean improving, but we don't always need to be putting up a goalpost and moving it constantly. You CAN just be "better" without even needing to talk about it, bullet journal it, write it on a whiteboard or anything else.
Hey man, followed you most of my life. Can you maybe talk more about relationship stuff? The single life versus commitment? How you've managed to find someone you love and what you looked/look for? How you've accepted your partner's past and your own? I think similar to myself, a lot of your followers are reaching the settling down age and are looking for advice in the areas I mentioned above. I think it could reasonate a lot with your followers. Cheers bro
You're dead right. A lot of 'self-improvement habits' are just cheap ways of trying to make yourself do the things you need to do, or trying to make yourself become the person who does the things they need to do. More shifting of goal posts than real self-improvement - which would be just doing the things you don't want to, or know that you need to do
Yo Joe, I rarely comment but my finger tops are tingling faster than my neurons are when hearing the word 'self-help'. You nailed it 100% with the toxic side of it. Please make a part two and let your creativity be present in 2024. This actually increases the amount of brainsells I got.
I actually always love when you have these meta videos. You often have quality things to share and I never feel like I waste my time watching your channel. Thanks man. And congrats again to you and the Mags on your nuptials and baby Cassius. ❤
I think the biggest downfall of self improvement is that it tricks your mind to think you always have a problem. Or something you need to “fix”. This is such an unhealthy way to keep your mind. It easily attracts overthinking. People need to start being more instinctual and worry less about what is “optimal”. This is why I think the movie fight club is so good. Tyler is the non-overthinking version and he tends to get the better results anyways.
The human brain is designed to predict, find and create problems. Its why first world problems exist. One of the things spirituality, religion and philosophy teach people (who actually take it seriously) is how to distance yourself from that impulse and manage it.
I have thought a lot about this topic, and I can tell you this is one of the best and most important videos I have seen in a long while. I hope a lot of people get to see it. Looking forward to seeing a second part, this really resonated with me
Amazing video, I love Joey D. One thing to note is self improvement as an industry doesn't always work. We are unique, and often, you gotta find a paradigm that works for you specifically. All these off the shelf "routines" never worked for me...instead I gradually and naturally put together actions that helped me maximize life.
Great video - agree with the notion that not everything has to be "productive", I fell into this trap, but recently I've started deliberately "doing something unproductive" (watching a film, hour on the PS5, sit in my armchair listening to music etc) and feel MUCH better for it.
Seems people often forget the intrinsic 'value' and enjoyment of the little things and time spent with people - A slightly strange enjoyment for me is get great satisfaction watching my water sprinkler in summer, it's mechanically quite cool
This is genuinely a great take on the current state of ‘self improvement’. It’s so easy to get sucked in to thinking you’re smashing it at developing yourself when really you’re just dodging what you really need to do. I hadn’t even realised I’d fallen into this trap until I watched this. I think there’s a balance to be had with everything. There is some amazing self improvement advice out there from guys like huberman. But it can also become an obsession. Ironically i think there’s a point when self improvement can actually make you a worse person. I still haven’t found a situation where the saying ‘everything in moderation’ doesn’t apply.
Please please please make more content like this. This is such a good video and your outlook on life is something that I think loads of people will appreciate.
This is so real bro I know a lot of people that've fallen into that whole thing and sabotaged relationships due to it, also love the design editing styles for this video
Spot on. The self-help space is blowing up with generic and meaningless platitudes and maxims, which rarely have much value in the context of individual lives in the real world. It's quite sad what the space has become. People are hypnotised by the initial infatuation of 'working on yourself'. It has become a manufactured process, with carbon copy advice and a lack of meaning. The whole point of self-development and growth often begins with introspection, and reflection. This allows us to become empowered enough to recognise how we can enrich our own lives. I've finally come out of my 'self-development' era. I trust my own instinct and ignore the abundance of noise which comes from social media and the mindless voices of the masses. I hope you can all do the same 😇
“The walk is the benefit” 100% man 😂 I think self improvement social media makes things harder than they need to be because we see habits through aesthetics, for example: - Running aesthetic - Cooking aesthetic - Productivity - Faith… And that makes us think that someone’s life is all about that one thing! So it seems more time consuming and harder than it actually is. Do you know who works every day, spends time with his family, goes to church, and helps in the house? MY GRANDPA, and trust me, that man does not have an aesthetic, he just gets up and does s*** because that’s what he knows! People who watch self improvement content can digest it in a bad way and start judging people negatively because of the already messed up content they are watching. Sure it may help you be more motivated at times, and get out of a bad place, but if you go into that hole, you will create habits that just don’t make you a happy healthy person. Great video Joe!
I agree with self improvement books, who’s saying you have to live your life exactly how the book says, but it opens your mind up, get the ball rolling. To live your best life.
Such a well done video Joe - really liked your point when everything is seen through the lens of ‘improvement’, to the point where the most mundane things, ie a walk, must also provide a benefit above and benefit the act itself.
Very well said. Think about seasons. Leaves shed, animals hibernate, and this “downtime” compells us when we get to spring and summer, when the leaves and flowers bloom.
This is the video everyone needs to see, i see so many of my friends jumping on these bandwagons of extremities, and people thinking they have to choose between 2 sides of extreme, when everything is on a spectrum and you need to find a balance to keep you consistent while avoiding burnouts & fvcking LIVING life not just being alive.
Something about his really resonates. With all of the things we see each day as entertainment, it is so encouraged to only do things that have a tag line benefit. Ie read self improvement books because they’ll help you succeed versus reading books you actually want to read.
How to help yourself: 1. Figure out what YOU want. 2. Set goals to get there. 3. Break goals down into manageable steps. 4.Gather information 5. Nike (Just do it) 6. Re-evaluate as needed.
Wow! This hit home with me big time. I have consumed so much self improvement content, both online and analogue, that I have got to the point of feeling that I’m getting anything right… I run a business that grew by 72% last year, yet I feel like I’m failing all the time.. which in turn makes me wonder whether I’m in the right job at all. It making me question everything, and that is fine to a point, being objective is really important, but it is not making me happy..
nice video lad, as my dad always told me anything comes in excessive amount is not probably the best for you. I Liked your statement that many people already know the exact solution to most of their problems and they kinnda enjoy the thought that they do easy thing around the hard thing go about "I'm going toward my goal" without doing the challenging thing that moves them ahead in life. in my opinion we tend to forget that self-improvement is a tool , a means to a goal and not the goal itself. thanks again hope to see part 2
Resources I've found immensely helpful: - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** (Mark Manson) - The Daily Stoic (Ryan holiday) , and Stoic philosophy in general. Would be interested to hear what people think about these 2 things in the context of this further immense video by Joey D.
I’ve been drawn to a lot of the stoic philosophy but I’ve also concerned it’s making me too apathetic about certain things. Overall I still do think it is a good way to live
Yes journaling in self-improvement is pretty weird, although I like the idea of documenting your life, taking 5 minute notes always seemed shallow and not that valuable after all. What I've gone for instead was an old-school dictaphone. I record my thoughts when I want to and I use it for: brainstorming, orginising thoughts, articulating them and just having fun talking. I've found that we often talk to people, just because we want to say something, not because we want to comunicate and get to know the other person. It made me enjoy human interaction far more. Now it's a choice, instead of the only way to get something off my chest. I definitely have more clarity over things that are going on. It made me set this amazing thing that I do at the last day of the month, which is saving all of the recordings to a specific month folder in SD card. I really love it. It's amazing to me, that thoughts that occupy our mind just disappear after a week. Hearing a voice message and not remembering anything that's in there while experiencing the "other person" talking in the moment is really weird, it puts everything in perspective. I just want to add, that (at least for me) it's different, than recording to a phone, not even close to the whole experience.
Yo fellas/girls, sorry about the hiatus. This video is a little different to the usual, but I'm going to exercise my freedom a little this year and have more fun doing stuff I find interesting. Hope you will come along for the ride. x
Yo, i actually prefer this kind of videos, its these that got me to know You and not the fitness stuff (although i enjoy it aswell). Cheers
Looking forward to part two of this vid. Your authenticity is infectious.
I ordered and read picture of Dorian gray because of one of your videos like this. Please more !
Love it. Stay authentic. Speak your truth.
Some of your non-fitness content really hits the mark. Straight talking and thought provoking. Thanks Joe!
This is gold Joe and we absolutely need part 2
agreed
++
Yes, please.
💯
Agreed
Joe is literally the only fitness influencer I have ever resonated with and I think it’s because he doesn’t want me to
Yeah. He's just a dude in front of a camera. No act or anything. Notice he doesn't even censor his videos like most influencers do to maximize profits and monetization. Joe seems to do this bc he genuinely likes doing it first and foremost
Why did I read this comment in Joe's deadpan voice?
I met Joe briefly once at the mall and he seemed so down to Earth. That's why Joey D is my hero.
@@vasilisblazos8994if u aren’t kidding then you must be the luckiest person on Earth
@@JoeBeats8781 nah fr, I met him and his wife and took a pic haha. He lives in the same city as me so just chance really.
My self improvement tip for anyone out there: Have good friends and family members around you, let people into your life, don't take life so seriously, stay healthy and eat right, go find love, enjoy the boring moments in life, and lastly keep everything simple and in moderation. Goodluck to you and I wish you the best.
will love just find you?
@@RelaxAndSmokeMeth Nah, you got to invite it in but it'll happen if you cast a wide net and stay open. Trying to min/max relationships and love is how you fall down the blackpill incel rabbit hole of bitterness. Like Joe said, people dance around the akwardness of building relationships and the pain of rejection but its not that bad and you'd be surprised how much actually doing the things pays off. I am a true top 1% introvert but Joe is correct that the glorification of solitude is mostly a trap to convince lonely people that not trying/waiting is the noble thing, not a justification of their fears.
Ur a wise man, it sounds simple yet very few people understand this is the recipe for a happy life
@@DA-og5pj Thats where you are wrong though. I hope you can think critically. Your mindset will ONLY make you want more and more, you'll never be satisfied. I never said i want to be average because the average person is very unhealthy with poor relationships. I want succes, for me that is not the equivalent of status and LOTs of money. Succes is being very good and disciplined at what i love doing and being fit with good people around me. Your definition of a "great man" is childish and that's fine. Not everyone can look past fame and money
I like your point about moderation. Self-improvement UA-camrs like Hamza constantly preach about working all day, which isn't always healthy
Becoming a father is a significant shift from "What I can I get from it" to "What can I give" and without ever mentioning being a dad, you nailed it.
I myself have no children but I'm assuming this is something that's almost impossible to truly understand until you're a parent yourself
You should enter all relationships with the mindset of giving.
“Most people know what they need to do to improve themselves or their lives. Self improvement is just a dance they do, while they’re psyching themselves up to do it”
This hit me hard.
I’ve actually pretty much mastered all the routines, hacks, disciplines, lists and lifestyles. All without really tackling a couple of really big issues I should’ve addressed years ago.
Indulge in self improvement by all means. Just don’t let it become another form of procrastination.
Yeah this resonated with me a lot too 💪🏼 I’m guilty of this.
For me It’s helped me realize what exactly the problems are. It’s a form a soul searching, but I prefer people like dr k. Maybe that’s not self help. But it helped me realize I shouldn’t drink so much, and maybe I should stop using weed at 21. And I’ve done those things. Now I’m trying to figure out how to make my job easier by figuring out how to sustainably keep myself healthy and mentally sharp. I’m hoping that within a year I’ll have figured that stuff out. But I’m afraid I’ll get stuck in a cycle of being placed under lots of stress and losing whatever progress I made. So I have a certain determination to actually change, but who tf knows how I will feel after being stressed for a long time
The part about self-improvement being a form a procrastination from the thing that actually needs done is absolutely spot on. I used to be stuck in a trap of trying to optimise every little detail to the point where it took so long to actually start doing the important task at hand. This is the kind of video that many people need
I’m so happy you made this video. We’ve lost the art of simply living and enjoying life.
Bang on.
This x1000. Probs explains why a lot of self improvement guys / girls never truly look happy. Cos they've replaced joy with 'whats optimal'
@@CPSFC yep. I think most of us go through that phase when we’re young and feel lost/confused. But over time you realize that doing things you genuinely enjoy is the best way forward
@@BrandonTalksFitness Yep. Some people are too focused on what's the most productive, beneficial, or optimal thing when sometimes you should just chill out and do whatever you wanna do simply bc it's enjoyable
@@BrandonTalksFitness 100% Its like they need a positive reason to do anything.
Enjoy a movie with your wife / girlfriend?
nah, only if its a masculinity movie that moves me forward
I think once you start learning from the 'happiest' people it helps a lot!
Spot on Joe. I used to do some of the popular self improved things. “Doing nothing” was not worth my time. Every walk had to be atleast x steps long, I had to listen to educational podcast, I had to write down my goals, what I was grateful for, thing I did well and things I could improve on. I couldn’t just watch a movie or show for fun. Fun wasn’t useful. I had to learn, I had to grow. It burned me out. What I did instead: some therapy to help me deal with trauma I was not addressing by distracting myself with fluff, learning that ‘doing’ nothing is very useful (fun movies are fun), being alone with my own thoughts instead of dimming them with another 2 hour podcast I can’t even recall now, enjoying a walk for what it is, not using it at a vessel for useful stuff, switching to firm where unpaid extra hours aren’t glorified, spending more time with friends an family instead of being alone reaching my “goals”.
☝️This 👍
"Fun wasn’t useful. I had to learn, I had to grow. It burned me out" man I swear I was in the same exact boat. For the longest time I thought that was the right path to follow, but then I realized that I wasn't going anywhere because there isn't really and end to that path. It's infinite. So the hard part was trying to realize that I have already everything that I needed, the "constantly searching" thing was really not necessary for my own self, or maybe it was some kind of coping mechanism. The trick is to have the courage to let everything go.
"that doesn't make you a discipline ninja, just an adult" -- beautiful.
Huge lack of that these days.
Most of my “self improvement” has come from literally just living life. It gets confusing when you make self improvement your personality
Just say you're soft
@@readsomebooks4506 Hope i didn't hit a nerve readsomebooks 😆
@@readsomebooks4506Soz ‘ard Goggins
why does it get confusing ?
@@readsomebooks4506dude this guy is spitting facts he’s learning from his mistakes in life I think that makes him mature and smart not soft
Self improvement is just dancing around the thing you know you need to do. I loved that, it’s so true in most cases. Part 2 pls.
Phenomenal post mate! People are starting to realise this. I’m a self improvement junkie as much as the next person, trying to optimise my life where I can. But I think much of it is a trap, the more self improvement you do, the more deficient you think you are. There’s always something missing. I heard an idea recently which is ‘self unfoldment’. It might sounds like another buzzword, but the idea is that you already have all the potential in the world, you’re just in the process of letting more of it out. Less forcing cookie cutter habit building, more following what you actually find fun, invigorating, enjoyable etc.
“The more self improvement you do, the more deficient you think you are” thanks for sharing that man. I think that’s how I’m feeling, having that thought for a long period of time can really make you see yourself like a looser and then act as a looser. I’m trying to get out of it.
Most straight forward and on point content
Make a part 2 Joe. And more videos like this. You’re clearly an intelligent guy and especially linguistically talented. You have the thoughts we all have but illustrate them in a way most of us cannot. Best of luck with fatherhood and the rest of your life in general. You make a great dad
i cant just like this comment, i have to say its great freaking comment
Hey again, Joe. I’ve known about you for some time but just now started watching some of your videos. I really like your views on things as they match mine very closely. For example, the doing things to enjoy them and stop worrying about benefits and such. Just smell the flowers on the walks. Feel the breeze. Enjoy the sounds of kids playing in the park. Keep up the great work!
What a breath of fresh air. A part 2 would be more than welcome, in your own time.
I had a feeling that we had reached peak bullshit, and usually if you're feeling something everyone else is too. Concisely and eloquently expressed by this chap, top lad.
03:28 describes perfectly how I feel about the internet and the type of people it is creating. We're all being taught to "think like the rich" and as far as I'm concerned the more we do that the more self absorbed we become and the more we move away from society. We're raising a generation of narcissists who view relationships as transactional.
I've seen multiple Instagram posts complaining about the standard of living in the west at the moment and all the comments are 20-30 year old men saying stuff like "It's not my fault you don't have a side hustle", "work harder", "socialism bad". It's absolutely cringe. People are drinking the Andrew Tate cool aid (which in itself is not all bad) but the ego's these people develop and the me vs the world mentality they adopt is cringe.
You can want and achieve better for yourself whilst advocating for people less fortunate than yourself, the two are not mutually exclusive. The change we want to see in the world comes from our behavior, if everyone behaves like a selfish c**t then we'll create a society of selfish c**ts. So, go and get better for yourself but keep in mind that we live in a society and the world does not revolve around your wants and needs.
Spot on.
The best solution? While in a sane state of mind, leave these platforms which feeds this self-absorption.
8:00 - 'it's all just a dance around psyching ourselves up for doing the thing...' - Right on. Do the thing. Or don't.
Awesome video Joe!
I was down the rabbit hole of (self)hatred for a long time, distrusting everything and everyone. Seemingly the only thing that got me out of it were the people who told me to be myself and do what matters to me.
Learn to think for yourself and be sceptical about what you hear from others, but don't be cynical.
I love your work, it's amazing.
It's the first video of you that I'm watching and wow, it was super interesting and deep, thanks for the reflection on this topic !
One of the quotes in Stoicism from Seneca about friends that I like: “If you are looking on anyone as a friend when you do not trust him as you trust yourself, you are making a grave mistake, and have failed to grasp sufficiently the full force of true friendship.”
This is why I like Stoicism so much, as it focuses on human interaction and that friendship is something beautiful and imperative in our lives. If we have a friend, we should "speak as unreservedly with him as we do with ourselves"
One of the best videos I watched in a while. I hate how this self improvement bs is forced down everyones throats nowdays, convincing you that your life is shit when it's actually quite normal and good and trying to make you feel like you're not enough. Selling you silly routines and habbits thats ultimately just distract you from your actual goals. I'm hoping for pt.2 and honestly more videos like this. You can only make so many fitness videos but you definitely have more wisdom to share in other areas of life.
You can tell he really spends time in meditation. What he's speaking about is self-awareness and being present, not fixating on the future or losing yourself to what other people think. But seeing your stream of consciousness for what it is. An illusion. And being liberated by living in the now. Not in the tomorrow or yesterday. LOVE THIS CONTENT JOE!!
0:56 Couldn't agree more, mate. Every bit of this video resonated with me . SO glad you finally said what I think so many of us are actually thinking. Part 2 Please. This is peak JoeyD
My god, dude, you put it into words. Thank you for sharing all this with us.
A line of thought: Self Improvement can not only be a dance but a distraction and an escape from a life or a reality that feels lacking in some way. I think people tend to turn to this extremely rigid form of self - Improvement because of an underlying anxiety of them or their lives never feeling good enough and are then sold a performative and often empty version of self improvement that promises the relief of these anxieties through reaching a state of perfection and productivity in everything they do, be it oh so small as making your bed in the morning. It‘s the idea of total control over who you are and who you become. At the same time, it puts a constant focus on everything that you‘re not already, that you‘re still lacking. This further fuels your anxieties, ultimately trapping you in an endless cycle of „there’s something wrong with me“ and „let me fix it“. And the moral high ground of improving yourself easily blinds you to the reality that a, that’s hardly what you’re actually doing, and b, you might actually be pretty okay the way you are.
I don’t think this could have been articulated any better.
Please do a part 2, I simply love your thought processes and the way you dissect these types of subjects, which quite frankly I have never even thought of or cared about, but you have a way of bringing interest to it in a way I can’t explain.
And this is why, Joe Delaney, you are OUR hero
i’m so grateful for this vid cuz it’s so real. i remember being depressed and low self esteem and just watching tons of self improvement videos without ever thinking about my problems with my own perspective. it feels very unnatural to live this way and you’re never really present in the moment when you fall into this trap and make what these self improvement gurus tell you such a big part of your life.
life as a kid is so great when you’re just living and enjoying life for what it is rather than living life based on someone else’s terms doing stressing over trying to grow all the time. stop getting wrapped up in improving and enjoy life
Amen. The "hustle culture" and " productivity culture" that have been drilled into society has actually detracted from my life so much. It absorbed so much of my time and effort that even when I hit my big goals and found myself having the ideal life for myself, I still felt like I wasn't good enough, and wasn't able to be grateful for all that I have because I kept feeling like I wasn't "there" yet. I'm not saying that I am complacent and not trying to improve myself in ways I know I should (learning, growing, introspection), but my life is good, and I want to be able to enjoy that even if it doesn't look like Huberman's ideal routine, haha.
Great perspective Joe. After about 15 years enjoying seminars/books in the self development space i'm coming to a similar conclusion particularly on Social Media that the point seems to be missed. As much as selfish goals are important especially to build a solid foundation i keep coming back to the fact that real fulfillment is found in the question "What can i give" instead of "What can i gain". In a genre filled with empty bragging particularly about superficial items this is a breath of fresh air mate.
Totally agree. It’s often pathological, it’s addictive and it’s a form of procrastination. It makes people think that if someone’s circumstances are bad that it’s because of some “mistake” or “the wrong mindset” when at its worst.
Production value of this is insane, Joey D! I have loved watching your philosophical takes and outlook on life for the past 10 years (albeit some of that philosophy originally centred on pancakes and fingering in the early days). Think you would do some serious damage on the Modern Wisdom podcast with your original thoughts and often contrarian viewpoint.
Agree
It’s like people who constantly read books about organising their lives, instead of actually organising their lives.
As someone who has been doing “self-improvement” I do agree. Sometimes I do something purely because of its health benefits. Guilty of letting it become part of my personality at points and not being content with where I’m at.
However, there are some major benefits. It makes you aware of your downfalls and improving on these, or at least being aware of them, is always a good thing. It’s helped me to become a better person, to the benefit of my friends and family. Plus mental health has never been in a better place.
Been following you for a while, obviously your gym videos got me here but im definitely interested in your way of seeing things not only in regards to the gym but life in overall. Really enjoyed this video. I take you as a knowledgeable, straightforward, no BS content creator. You can make whatever content you want id still be up for checking it out just because of your personality and the value you add. Thanks man🙏
Solid video Joe. "It's not the thing, its the place its coming from". Nothing you seek externally will ever fill the void you feel inside of you. The state of happiness/abundance comes from within the mind, its about realizing that you are already whole and no external pursuit will make you complete. Its not about doing, its about undoing the thoughts that make you believe you're not already complete. Everyone keeps chasing and chasing external things in the hope that one day they'll feel content, but even when they get what they want, sure they get a high out of it for some time but it never lasts. Nothing you pursue externally is ever going to make you happy permanently (dopamine isnt infinite). The real gold comes from looking within yourself, asking yourself why you fear certain situations (introspection) and coupling that with mindfulness meditation. There are so many pitfalls with this, its hard to do right but its the key and its the only key there ever was. The mind is what generates your entire experience of the world, your perception of the world (good or bad) at any moment dictates how you feel, so of course if you seek Happiness (capital H for the state of mind, not the emotion/dopamine release) it has to come from within. A lot of poor people are some of the Happiest people in the world - it comes from their internal state of mind. You can go so far with this. Just look at the monk in vietnam who self imolated in protest against the vietnam war - he did not flinch or scream once. That's because he changed his entire perception on pain (pain is not a negative thing, its just sensations you feel on your skin nothing else). I'm just making this extreme example to show how powerful mindfulness meditation + introspection is (that is how he got there). Of course some pain is necessary for survival and these should not be let go of, but a lot of fears people have generate the same survival instinct fear response as physical pain and those are the ones to let go of. I know this probably sounds so absurd to some of you but yeah... if you want a permanent abundant state of mind look within and neutralize the perception you have of certain negative emotions by asking yourself why it's so bad, getting to the root cause of why theyre so bad and then letting go of the associated sensations through mindfulness meditation. This stuff is so powerful.
Pls part 2! I needed this video a while ago. I was just procrastinating on my work by consuming self improvement content. Learning about the health benefits of walking, whilst sitting on my ass in front of a computer everyday.
There's absolutely a fine line between wanting to improve yourself and becoming a slave to yourself. It's difficult to know exactly why we do certain things that we think are helping us and to know if we're actually getting the benefit of said thing that we'd intended.
in brief: The video discusses several issues with modern self-improvement culture.
1. **Critique of Self-Improvement Culture:** Delaney questions the culture, mentality, and methods of contemporary self-improvement, suggesting that much of it serves commercial interests rather than genuine self-betterment.
2. **Problem with Personal Gain Focus:** He criticizes the emphasis on personal gain in self-improvement, arguing that viewing relationships and activities solely through the lens of personal benefit can be detrimental and lead to a perpetual state of wanting.
3. **Industries Posing as Helpful:** Delaney warns against self-improvement industries that disguise their true motives, ranging from helpful intentions to exploitative practices. He advises due diligence and skepticism when spending money on self-improvement products or services.
4. **Ceremonial and Indirect Approaches:** The video highlights the indirect nature of many self-improvement practices, questioning the need for overly complex routines and activities that may not directly contribute to personal growth.
5. **Glorification of Solitude:** He critiques the trend of glorifying solitude and small social circles in self-improvement, arguing that it shouldn't be confused with genuine self-betterment.
6. **Encouragement to Proceed with Caution:** Delaney encourages viewers to approach self-improvement with caution and skepticism, recognizing that while it can be transformative, it also has pitfalls and traps.
7. **Rational Perspective on Self-Improvement:** He suggests adopting a rational perspective, learning from a diverse range of sources, and being wary of overly simplistic or commercialized advice.
Overall, the video presents a critical and nuanced view of self-improvement, advocating for a more balanced and skeptical approach to personal development.gpt4
I am glad that Joe values informing people more than being clickbaity and chasing content trends. It's so easy to get caught up in numbers but Joe's channel stays refreshing and genuine.
One major flaw with Self Improvement ideologies is the "self" part. Only focusing on the self, for the sake of self. Real self improvement will improve relationships, not make them more shallow or destroy them.
I believe this is the best critique of the whole movement. I feel like the new term should be "Life Improvement" which encompasses personal and relational goals.
Uhhh la la finally someone found the right words to say it....This video is a foundation....We thank you Joe
The first quote is also really dangerous because if someone is unhappy with themselves it can also encourage them to blame their friends/distance themselves from their friends for the grind or whatever. It's snobbery for wannabe gurus and will ruin very good friendships
I'm glad this video exists. A lot of self-improvement content online isn't really about self-improvement, it's more about promoting circlejerking attitudes. People become too absorbed in the idea of reaping personal gain from every activity they do that they forget the basic human joy of just doing something for the sake of it, or just being nice to people for the simple sake of being nice. idk lol
Damn Joey D making serious brain gains 🧠,
But seriously, please make a part 2 the points you raised in this video came across really authentic, and as if you’ve been mulling over them for some time before sharing,
The point about going on a walk, because it’s good for you instead of enjoying the walk itself was such a good point (also kind of refreshing when compared against the sea of content urging you to wake up before sunrise, take a cold plunge, get some sunlight, down the ag1, eat some liver and go for a 5k all before 7am)
But also, the fact that you cut the argument by saying there isn’t anything wrong with the above habits if they stem from legitimate interest as opposed to being forced, really gives a well-balanced view of the topic.
I’d be really interested in a part 2 to this topic, providing you come at it with the same well thought out approach,
If not, this video alone does a pretty good job and making people (me included) reflect on their habits/goals/motivations
Thanks Joey D ❤
Love that there seems to be a small shift in realizing how nonsense most of the industry is, although I kind of disagree in the better to learn from a lot of people or a lot from one person. I do agree against the cult of personality stuff, but to me that feels like reading a few pages from a lot of books. If someone is an expert at a topic you want to also be an expert in, having a mentor type figure can be really valuable if they can adequately break down all the steps along the way
Love this! It's so easy to fall into the trap of so many self-improvement behaviors that don't really seem to help and just take up so much time
The third one is so true. So much of self improvement advice is just menial tasks to try and "build discipline" while avoiding the shit you actually need to do. Never really heard it verbalised before but it makes so much sense now that you said it
This video has genuinely made me want to change my life for the better and actually do it this time. The part where you mention about doing things to sike ourself up to do what we ACTUALLY want to do has resonated with me more than anything I’ve consumed before. Do that thing that you’re dancing around.
Absolutely spot on with this. I reckon some people spend more time consuming self-improvement media than actually trying to self-improve, even I'm guilty of that in the past.
FINALLY! About time someone on this platform actually talked truth. You and James Smith are only two I've seen being so damn honest.
In my opinion, the self-improvement industry managed to find a way to sneak into people's life when initially (most) of the people were feeling fine as they were. It really brought an obsession that it was never needed by (again most) people. It could be helpful in many ways, but when it wants to serve the purpose of ultimately having to be perfect in every way and being obsessed with habits, in result it is the ultimate trap to fall into. Having stress about life in general is one thing. But having stress about things you want to apply to your life that you think will bring joy, happiness, discipline and all the other bullshit that the self-improvement industry promises is another. Keep it up Joe, this is what the world needs to hear in order to wake up from the dreams that these industries sell.
Love the practical thinking in this video. In a world full of distraction it’s like a breath of fresh air. All I have ever achieved has came from actual practicality. I do worry a lot, however I remind myself of ‘the only thing to fear is fear itself’ and to control what I can (which is here and now) and let go of the rest.
Definitely need a part 2 Joe 😎👍🏼
This is such a great video, and very much something that needs to be talked about. Too often people push their own goals (legit or otherwise) onto other people. I was asked several times about my 2024 goals. I have a few things on my list, mostly just to remember what I need/want to do so it's not always "too late" when the opportunity comes up (e.g. booking a weekend away when there is a long weekend, hard to do last minute!). But I had several people I know who are into trading, say "any financial goals?" somewhat disdainfully, as if my life was somehow lacking because I didn't have a more ambitious goal of self and financial improvement and rather just wanted to visit more farmers markets and perfect my sourdough. This attitude is part of the self-improvement trap - there is no one set of "ideal" goals, or an ideal state. If money isn't important to you, you don't need financial goals. If losing weight isn't important to you, that doesn't need to be a goal. You can just live, and do what you want to do each day. And living can mean improving, but we don't always need to be putting up a goalpost and moving it constantly. You CAN just be "better" without even needing to talk about it, bullet journal it, write it on a whiteboard or anything else.
Hey man, followed you most of my life. Can you maybe talk more about relationship stuff? The single life versus commitment? How you've managed to find someone you love and what you looked/look for? How you've accepted your partner's past and your own?
I think similar to myself, a lot of your followers are reaching the settling down age and are looking for advice in the areas I mentioned above.
I think it could reasonate a lot with your followers.
Cheers bro
This
Absolute golden video I couldn’t agree more
“You’re not aloof if you tell everyone about it” 😂👏 Damn
You're dead right. A lot of 'self-improvement habits' are just cheap ways of trying to make yourself do the things you need to do, or trying to make yourself become the person who does the things they need to do. More shifting of goal posts than real self-improvement - which would be just doing the things you don't want to, or know that you need to do
Most self improvement people had circumstances that allowed them their success, time and circumstances befall us all.😮
Yo Joe, I rarely comment but my finger tops are tingling faster than my neurons are when hearing the word 'self-help'. You nailed it 100% with the toxic side of it. Please make a part two and let your creativity be present in 2024. This actually increases the amount of brainsells I got.
I actually always love when you have these meta videos. You often have quality things to share and I never feel like I waste my time watching your channel. Thanks man. And congrats again to you and the Mags on your nuptials and baby Cassius. ❤
Your videos ground me. Thank you. I always liked the philosophical Joe the best. We all try to make sense of the world.
I miss old vids like this, this is fantastic.
This is the kind of reminder which I needed at this moment. Waiting for part 2...!!!
I think the biggest downfall of self improvement is that it tricks your mind to think you always have a problem. Or something you need to “fix”. This is such an unhealthy way to keep your mind. It easily attracts overthinking. People need to start being more instinctual and worry less about what is “optimal”. This is why I think the movie fight club is so good. Tyler is the non-overthinking version and he tends to get the better results anyways.
The human brain is designed to predict, find and create problems. Its why first world problems exist. One of the things spirituality, religion and philosophy teach people (who actually take it seriously) is how to distance yourself from that impulse and manage it.
I have thought a lot about this topic, and I can tell you this is one of the best and most important videos I have seen in a long while. I hope a lot of people get to see it. Looking forward to seeing a second part, this really resonated with me
Amazing video, I love Joey D. One thing to note is self improvement as an industry doesn't always work. We are unique, and often, you gotta find a paradigm that works for you specifically. All these off the shelf "routines" never worked for me...instead I gradually and naturally put together actions that helped me maximize life.
The amount of value in this video is truly impressive. Well done Sir. Well done
@RealJoeDelaney No problem brother. Keep doing you man. It is working
Great video - agree with the notion that not everything has to be "productive", I fell into this trap, but recently I've started deliberately "doing something unproductive" (watching a film, hour on the PS5, sit in my armchair listening to music etc) and feel MUCH better for it.
Dude your film-making has seriously gotten so beautiful, big ups to the time you spent editing this together, it looks awesome
Seems people often forget the intrinsic 'value' and enjoyment of the little things and time spent with people - A slightly strange enjoyment for me is get great satisfaction watching my water sprinkler in summer, it's mechanically quite cool
This is genuinely a great take on the current state of ‘self improvement’. It’s so easy to get sucked in to thinking you’re smashing it at developing yourself when really you’re just dodging what you really need to do. I hadn’t even realised I’d fallen into this trap until I watched this.
I think there’s a balance to be had with everything. There is some amazing self improvement advice out there from guys like huberman. But it can also become an obsession. Ironically i think there’s a point when self improvement can actually make you a worse person.
I still haven’t found a situation where the saying ‘everything in moderation’ doesn’t apply.
The turning point for me was when guys said to stop listening to music as it had no purpose
Enjoyment isn't enough of a reason to do something anymore
"self improvement is just a dance that they do whilst they're psyching themselves up to do it" Fax!
Please please please make more content like this. This is such a good video and your outlook on life is something that I think loads of people will appreciate.
This is so real bro I know a lot of people that've fallen into that whole thing and sabotaged relationships due to it, also love the design editing styles for this video
Spot on. The self-help space is blowing up with generic and meaningless platitudes and maxims, which rarely have much value in the context of individual lives in the real world.
It's quite sad what the space has become. People are hypnotised by the initial infatuation of 'working on yourself'.
It has become a manufactured process, with carbon copy advice and a lack of meaning.
The whole point of self-development and growth often begins with introspection, and reflection. This allows us to become empowered enough to recognise how we can enrich our own lives.
I've finally come out of my 'self-development' era. I trust my own instinct and ignore the abundance of noise which comes from social media and the mindless voices of the masses.
I hope you can all do the same 😇
Thank you for this, border-line life changing stuff here. I rewatched the section from 5:00 - 5:20 at least 10 times, quite profane.
“The walk is the benefit” 100% man 😂
I think self improvement social media makes things harder than they need to be because we see habits through aesthetics, for example:
- Running aesthetic
- Cooking aesthetic
- Productivity
- Faith…
And that makes us think that someone’s life is all about that one thing! So it seems more time consuming and harder than it actually is.
Do you know who works every day, spends time with his family, goes to church, and helps in the house?
MY GRANDPA, and trust me, that man does not have an aesthetic, he just gets up and does s*** because that’s what he knows!
People who watch self improvement content can digest it in a bad way and start judging people negatively because of the already messed up content they are watching.
Sure it may help you be more motivated at times, and get out of a bad place, but if you go into that hole, you will create habits that just don’t make you a happy healthy person.
Great video Joe!
I agree with self improvement books, who’s saying you have to live your life exactly how the book says, but it opens your mind up, get the ball rolling. To live your best life.
Such a well done video Joe - really liked your point when everything is seen through the lens of ‘improvement’, to the point where the most mundane things, ie a walk, must also provide a benefit above and benefit the act itself.
Very well said. Think about seasons. Leaves shed, animals hibernate, and this “downtime” compells us when we get to spring and summer, when the leaves and flowers bloom.
This is hands down your greatest video to date. Well done. Very profound
“It’s the thing.” YES. YES. YES. Just doing things, following curiosity, and thinking for yourself will give you lessons.
gonna need that part 2. This is giving natty high vibes... love it
This is the video everyone needs to see, i see so many of my friends jumping on these bandwagons of extremities, and people thinking they have to choose between 2 sides of extreme, when everything is on a spectrum and you need to find a balance to keep you consistent while avoiding burnouts & fvcking LIVING life not just being alive.
Something about his really resonates. With all of the things we see each day as entertainment, it is so encouraged to only do things that have a tag line benefit. Ie read self improvement books because they’ll help you succeed versus reading books you actually want to read.
Would love a part 2 hard to find someone so real on self improvement UA-cam
How to help yourself:
1. Figure out what YOU want.
2. Set goals to get there.
3. Break goals down into manageable steps.
4.Gather information
5. Nike (Just do it)
6. Re-evaluate as needed.
My virtual big bro that doesn’t know I exist comes in to drop timely advice without fail. Appreciate you very much mate
yeah very refreshing point of view, would love a part II.
Wow! This hit home with me big time. I have consumed so much self improvement content, both online and analogue, that I have got to the point of feeling that I’m getting anything right… I run a business that grew by 72% last year, yet I feel like I’m failing all the time.. which in turn makes me wonder whether I’m in the right job at all. It making me question everything, and that is fine to a point, being objective is really important, but it is not making me happy..
nice video lad, as my dad always told me anything comes in excessive amount is not probably the best for you. I Liked your statement that many people already know the exact solution to most of their problems and they kinnda enjoy the thought that they do easy thing around the hard thing go about "I'm going toward my goal" without doing the challenging thing that moves them ahead in life. in my opinion we tend to forget that self-improvement is a tool , a means to a goal and not the goal itself. thanks again hope to see part 2
WE NEED PART 2
JOE DELANEY IS MY HERO 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🥶💯🚨🚨‼️
This is the content of evolved Joe is my hero^2. We are all here for it mate!
Resources I've found immensely helpful:
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*** (Mark Manson)
- The Daily Stoic (Ryan holiday) , and Stoic philosophy in general.
Would be interested to hear what people think about these 2 things in the context of this further immense video by Joey D.
I’ve been drawn to a lot of the stoic philosophy but I’ve also concerned it’s making me too apathetic about certain things. Overall I still do think it is a good way to live
This here is why Joe Delaney is my hero
Yes journaling in self-improvement is pretty weird, although I like the idea of documenting your life, taking 5 minute notes always seemed shallow and not that valuable after all. What I've gone for instead was an old-school dictaphone. I record my thoughts when I want to and I use it for: brainstorming, orginising thoughts, articulating them and just having fun talking. I've found that we often talk to people, just because we want to say something, not because we want to comunicate and get to know the other person. It made me enjoy human interaction far more. Now it's a choice, instead of the only way to get something off my chest. I definitely have more clarity over things that are going on. It made me set this amazing thing that I do at the last day of the month, which is saving all of the recordings to a specific month folder in SD card. I really love it. It's amazing to me, that thoughts that occupy our mind just disappear after a week. Hearing a voice message and not remembering anything that's in there while experiencing the "other person" talking in the moment is really weird, it puts everything in perspective.
I just want to add, that (at least for me) it's different, than recording to a phone, not even close to the whole experience.
Love this, would love to see a part 2! Thank you for being such a chill and grounded dude.
Presence and Direction > Militant Effort Towards Goals
"if we are unduly absorbed in improving them we may forget altogether to live them." - Alan Watts