@@lauriem5089 Hi there, Laurie! I explained in the video that all 10 of my points can be found in the blog post here: atozenlife.com/marie-kondo-tidying-up/ 👍
Haha! Had to add this about ex- stuff! I have a digital clock radio that I got from my boyfriend in high school in 10th grade. Circa 1979. I use it in the laundry room as a radio!!! I chuckle every time I use it because that christmas I would have loved to get a little promise ring. ( silly me) and I got a CLOCK RADIO!! Hahahaha! Dated the guy 5 years, then in college he cheated on me. I later married his cousin - 15 years together, divorced when this one cheated! So its a fond walk down memory lane! Haha many good times between the cheaters! Cie la vie!
All this is so over whelmimg to me We are moving about Aug 1 down sizing our home of 40 years I am 64 on June 4 health is not the best My hubby has a serious heart problem Can you please help me
Standard Kondo joke: "I got rid of everything in my house that wasn't sparking joy. I was really enjoying my spacious, minimalist lifestyle. But my husband and children spoiled it for me. They kept clamouring to get back into the house."
"I didn't read the book at all and just threw out what didn't make me joyful at the very first moment - and then I blamed all my misery on a book I didn't bother to read and which would have advised me to keep a lot of those things I threw out."
I am so relieved to see that 6 months is considered a sprint. The amount of articles I have seen over the years that have expected me to declutter and spring clean the entire place, even washing down the walls, over a single weekend is ridiculous. I feel exhausted before even starting.
If you can declutter in a weekend then I'm not sure how cluttered you are - sounds more like tidying. I'm giving myself 18 months not because I couldn't do it faster but because I have other stuff going on in my life! I don't really like minimalism though - it feels soulless. When I sit in my sister's minimalist house I often feel uncomfortable and that I should tidy myself away 😆
Basically, the trick is not to obsess over anything. Don't obsess over objects, don't obsess over decluttering. Then you can find a happy balance. You can always get rid of more stuff, doesn't have to be an immediate change, and decluttering a little at a time will give you the satisfaction of accomplishment.
I like this video! The one thing about the Konmari method I struggle with is, that she says, you only have to declutter ONCE if you do it right. Maybe I’ve never done it right, but decluttering is something I keep doing. It’s a learning process and stuff keeps coming into our home especially with the kids. I don’t have big decluttering projects anymore like in the beginning of my minimalism journey, but still… the decluttering never really ends😅
Yes, she addresses this in her Sparks Joy book. You shouldn't have to do that whole house declutter again if you follow her method. Of course things still come and go and we still all make purchases we regret but in my experience that huge overwhelm doesn't come back.
I think a big part of her method with sparking joy and ruthless discarding is finding yourself and starting over. You start seeing a pattern in the things and life you want for yourself which fuels that confidence. I believe she emphasized having a vision in her book.
I hear you, being a mom of 4. I also think that Marie actually addresses all these issues in her book (which I noticed only after several readings). For example, the fact that you need to "train" yourself to understand what Spark Joy really means to you and it truly is the only question you need to ask yourself. We think we know what she means, but we don't. I had to learn that. I learned with my clothes observing my physical reactions to them. After I was finished, I realized I now could recognize that feeling much better and what "Spark Joy" really meant for me and me alone. And so I did it AGAIN with the clothes and got rid of even more! Then the rest (like sentimental items) was so much easier. 🥰
Well ppl seem to forget about the cultural differences. Her method is based on the Shintoist religion. Ppl who are in Japanese culture or practice Shintoist understand better what terms she is using and what she implies. There's also many things that are completely lost in translation
I completely agree even in the show she specifically says you need to figure out what sparks joy for you. Once I figured it out game changer so completely agree 💯
A few days ago, I saw a UA-cam video showing a celebrity's fancy house filled with very expensive furniture, paintings, arts and all kinds of decorations. But I was not envy of that house at all. I saw emptiness, deception, big egos, etc. My gut reaction was that I preferred Marisa's home, in which I felt the sense of purity, love, and passion, and a lot of positive energies.
Rich people's homes do seem cold lacking that happy family energy. Which likely it is people that collect expensive decorative things its very much for show not to live and enjoy like families that have a room that the kids and family are never allowed to enter. It the rooms that are lived in that people can sit in spent time together in that have the best vibes
Decluttering for NO MORE THAN 5 minutes every day is sustainable, habit forming, systematic and balanced. The point is to make the home easier to manage in order to make time for relationships, health and enjoyment. Successful decluttering that results in creating a permanent home for every needed item that is directly accessible (without having to move something out of the way) makes it easy to put things away, easy to see when you need to buy replacements and easy to avoid buying things you don't need. For example, last November, I decluttered under my kitchen sink and made decisions about what cleaning products I would and wouldn't use. I kept one container of each in use and one full back up. Mostly, I kept basics like dish soap, vinegar, rubbing alcohol, baking soda, etc. and a few specialty items like veggi-wash, stainless steel cleaner and silver cleaner. I hung spray bottles from door pulls mounted horizontally on the door insides and put small items in rectangular bins that can pull out like a drawer. I had plenty of room for an empty bucket, a bin of cleaning cloths, a bin of tea towels and a cleaning caddy. When I checked it a few weeks ago. I did not need to declutter anything. Empty containers were recycled and replacements purchased systematically. Worn rags discarded as used. Nothing to declutter after 5 months. Housholds do not run on JOY alone. Toilet bowl cleaner never sparked my joy, but it occasionally made my life better when I needed it to remove rust stains. Most of the time, a weekly swish with dish detergent gets a very good result, but a 3 to 6 month scrub with a rust remover is welcomed. A better qualifier might be " Does this item make our lives better?" And better may be interpreted as healthier, easier, cozier, beautiful, cleaner and generally more supportive of relationships, health and enjoyment. Thank you for sharing your thought process. I find it helpful, reinforcing and motivating.
@Trinity M Thank you for your extensive reply; it's very helpful to the algorithm that feeds content to new viewers. Thanks also for telling me what I was thinking when I wrote my comment; I must not have explained my experience thoroughly enough in my own words. And thanks again for telling me the color of my skin, I did not realize that your perception of my skin color would be so relevant to my expressing my experiences.
I am not a minimalist but have watched a lot of your vids. I decluttered at the end of last year but did not follow any specific method, rather a combination of them, and I think that is the best way for most of us. Pick and choose aspects of all that appeal. I asked myself, "does this spark joy?", "Who will get this when I die and would they rather have it now?", "How can I better organise this?" and so many other questions from various methods. The important thing is to just do the decluttering. Whatever method you use, the end result is worth it.
In the manga, the young woman had lost her own identity in trying to be what her ex boyfriends wanted. So letting go of her ex boyfriend's painting was symbolic and necessary for her. Mari does often say that letting things go makes room for the next chapter of life, but it you successfully let go of the relationship without letting go of an object, that shouldn't conflict with her principles. 😊
In the comic, the girl has two objects from her exes, one is a necklace but she doesn’t care about it so she just likes this necklace so shee keeps it, then latter in the comic we see she has the picture, she has to get rid of it to start a new life. Just like you said.
As far as the vertically folded clothes falling over, I saw a great hack where you use a simple book end to keep them in place as the drawer empties. Love your videos!!!
@@SolisIlanga i just dump everything in the drawer without bothering , the folding techniques was very beautiful but it had the results that my clothes just lived in the laundry basket because I couldn't bring myself to "fold this right now"😂
I agree with everything you said, especially about being pro-Marie Kondo, but the biggest issue with the KonMari method for me is the mess that it makes along the way. I don't usually have the time, energy, or space to gather all of a category of items in one place and go through them before I need to use that space for everyday living. I prefer to either go through a small space, like a drawer, or a smaller category, just T-shirts, not all clothes. Of course, I consolidate in the end to see if there's more I can get rid of but to do it all at once is overwhelming and makes me want to give up. I prefer Dana K. White's method. It's just more practical for me.
Same. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and can't gather everything and sort it at once. It also means I don't follow Dana's advice of putting each item away immediately
On keeping things from past exes . . . my high school sweetheart (1985-1987) joined the military and left me behind in high school. We reunited and married 30+ years later. A couple months ago I found a rather large stash of his love letters in an envelope in an old train case. Most of them were written on the backs of menus and placemats from the Chinese food restaurant he had worked at in high school, and had poems and artwork he had created for me. What a lovely find that we both enjoyed! I do now regret selling the pink dog he won for me at the State Fair! Much joy to you and thank you for your video.❤
When my hoarder mother died last June, my daughter and I were finally able with the help of a dear cousin to begin the process of "dejunking" our house! We needed -- and got -- great professional help also. You are so right when you mention that sometimes keeping something because it "sparks joy" for you may not "go far enough." Although I am not a hoarder, I had to cut down, then cut down, and then cut down some more. I am still cutting down. (However, there was a certain book of knitting patterns that I had given away that I had to reorder! It was not available in e-form! That's the only thing!) Things are now at a "manageable level." Whenever someone buys our house, we will be able to pack up in a week -- or less!
Sparks joy does not work for me either. Where I think she got it right was decluttering in categories. I've been decluttering my home for a year and a half and doing it in categories has greatly improved my success. I used to try to declutter areas and would be left with just a bunch of stuff I wasn't sure what to do with and that went to other places in my home. Her method helps, but I have combined it with what I have learned from decluttering and minimalism videos. I also agree about not letting go of everything from exes. I have been divorced for 16 years but still have the first Valentines Day card my ex-husband gave me when we were kids and dating. I have the cards he gave me when I was pregnant with our first child. I have the silly poems he wrote to me when we were still teenagers. The reason I hold onto those things is that I want our children to know that we once very much loved each other.
I am grateful that you are sensible. As children enjoyed finding love letters and cards that our parents sent to each other. We didn't know about many of them until we are cleaning up after their death. It really made things better for a few days
I agree. I have photos of my ex and my mother and friends all having fun and going places. I look at them and think I really wasn’t crazy when I married him. That’s when he changed completely and revealed his true self. If I berate myself, I pull out the photos.
I would argue that those objects from your exes in some way still spark joy for you especially since you want your kids to remember the love from these objects. Those objects that you don't know what to do with don't have proper homes so make one. If they belong in to her parts of the house then you do know what to do with them.
Thank you for the excellent video. Whilst I have donated 5 car loads of stuff I don't need to charity, my late wife's clothes and personal belongings (Lynn passed away with cancer) is a tough one. The general declutter has freed up lots of space.
Hahahahahah. I know I've mentioned this---but more like 6 years. I'm autistic & we're a kidless couple & it has still taken me this long. Your minimalism channel is the only one that resonates with the reality of minimalism for me. I can't believe it, but I STILL have that back room to finish I commented on last yr--it's got me frozen. The kitchen/breakfast nook...started to get cluttered again & this is how it starts! TODAY--I finish the last 2 kitchen under-cabinets (my 2nd time-did this last yr) & empty room of stuff to shed. IT'S BEEN LITERALLY SO HARD FOR ME! I've gotten better at opening boxes/packages & sorting mail to put in trash right away--it doesn't come in. But here in TX, if you have junk mail & moms---it makes it SO much harder bc the clutter is trying...no, fighting to come in, while you finish decluttering. Despite, explaining that you are practicing minimalism. It has been really hard have OCD inside my Autism & hating dust/cleaning/getting decision fatigue (bc I get stuck/frozen on all the little details). I know HOW to do it----I just need to FINISH my house & then maintain it's decluttering like you've shown.
When i decluttered i planned for 3 big weekends, spending all time to declutter those days. I first took a weekend and got rid of every single thing i thought i didnt need. 2 months later i once again took another weekend and decluttered. A total of 6 months later i took a final weekend, checking and was finally content. My experience is that you always miss something if you only clean once, also having breaks between the cleansings made me realise that i saw that i could get rid of more since i had time to think about it, knowing every single item i own and could therefor made a wiser decision. I didnt buy a single item during those 6 months and im still thinking twice before buying new stuff and holy moley i saved money and time!
I think the problem with "spark joy" is it doesn't translate well into English. The words in Japanese hold more implied weight and context than "spark joy". It's such a different book in the original Japanese lol. I also read the Art of Discarding, which inspired the Life Changing Magic of Tidying up, and it seemed to flesh the idea out better. I do recommend it. As for folding, IKEA makes drawer dividers. I use those to keep my stuff from flopping around. For tidying with kids, I like Josh Becker's suggestions. He has a family and he and his wife do a great job of juggling kids needs, their wants and what works for everyone. I also really love How to Get Your Shit Together. She has a kiddo too and moved her family across the ocean to be in the States. (I'm going the opposite direction lol) Btw that's an osechi tray not a bento box lol. Bento are much smaller
At least for me, helping my younger siblings declutter their belongings to only the things they use and care about is easier than convincing my parents to
Great realistic video! The one I fervently don't agree with is the "decluttering is a sprint". For me personally, it's a long, ongoing process. For one thing, I need time to allow myself to let go of sentimental things, and to me, it's like I have a decluttering muscle that needs to be trained constantly for the rest of my life. It gets stronger with time and practice.
I couldn’t commit to the Marie Kondo technique of gathering items by category and decluttering them. With work, a toddler, and other life commitments it was tough. But, I did manage to put aside 10mins each day to just declutter the stuff that I have been hoarding for years. It gives me so much anxiety and I can feel my heart beating so fast each time I have to declutter. 10mins each day is more than I can bear. I’ve also stopped shopping for wants, but more for needs that’s I’ve run out of instead. Thank you for inspiring us Marissa! 🙏🏻
I was fortunate when I discovered the life-changing magic of Marie Kondo: It was just my husband and me at home, we had already done a lot of decluttering on our own over the past year, and I wasn't working, so I could dedicate all of my time to the process. I didn't think I had that much stuff, and it took me 40 hours a week for four weeks to do it all. Luckily, I was into batch cooking, so I prepared and froze our meals ahead of my tidying "event". It was really intense, very eye-opening, and yes, it changed my life. Forever grateful. I agree about the folding method: the garments flop over when I open/close drawers.
Thank you, Melissa for sharing your Journey, Honoring the memory of your mother and father with your beautiful Family! Inspiring others to overcome the sadness... I am 48, and lost my Mom, 30 years ago and my Dad, 24.
So true - it was Marie Kondo who first inspired me to start decluttering and I bought her book way before this whole thing exploded. She is still my inspiration although I have ahem....decluttered her book. Yeah - there wasn't a lot of "joy sparking" when I went through my things. Sure, some had nice memories but honestly it was more helpful to base it on how many times do I really use this thing? And I had some beautiful pieces that sparked joy when I pulled them out but I never wore them because of my current lifestyle (WFH in sweats). And I never implemented the folding methods because they just seemed so fussy and I didn't store my shirts in drawers but had shelves. Also if you want to declutter quickly, then don't bother trying to sell anything - I donated everything as it was too much energy to try to recoup $ and just figured it was a learning lesson in not paying so much for stuff I was now giving away.
I can understand that about donating instead of selling so well!!! I will sell my kitchen, I can't afford to give it away, but I will sell some furniture. Especially now that refugees here in Germany are desperately looking for things. But also because of the time it takes to sell, not to mention the nerves.... Funnily enough, I only started hanging up almost all my clothes (except leggings) after reading Marie Kondo's book and audio book (and the series).😂 I tie my socks with a clothes peg, wash them like that in a laundry bag, dry them like that and just throw them in an IKEA Dröna box when they are dry. Incl. the clips. It may not look neat but it's simple and I think that's important. Especially since no one sees my socks but me and the cuffs don't get damaged and I'm like Rachel Friend: I hate doing the laundry.
spot on! Excellent video in voicing what I think are real ways to look at and use her method. I had to get past her Shinto teachings by thanking God for my house and praying over the items I donated, but learning her mindset was the starting point for me.
Totally agree on the point about decluttering with kids. And would add that having a chronic illness has a similar impact. I've had to accept that, as with most things in my life, my journey to being fully decluttered will take longer. I'd also argue that Marie Kondo is closer to being an 'Essentialist' as opposed to a 'Minimalist'.
I absolutely agree! I often hear from my followers with disabilities and chronic illnesses that they have to set different goals and expectations for themselves - thanks for sharing. ❤️
Oh sing it sister! I dont like to speak about my chronic pain issues, because I always accept it as my daily challenge to overcome. However! K L, your comment hit home and so yes, I will share. I have had to roll back (way back) my expectations for success in decluttering. My former self is high energy and able to divide and conquer.. now I have to plan my activity into smaller time slots because I cant stand on my feet as long, etc.. So I might suggest getting some physical help, a friend, or family to assist when you want to attack projects. 2. Also do more precise planning of what boxes, or zones of your house you want to conquer that day. For me, emptying ONE box to never deal with again (such as papers or a junk box) is a big woo hoo! And you must woo hoo yourself!! Be good to yourself ( I tend to be a work horse) by some little treat, like watching a movie with a nice snack you like, resting after your conquest! 3. Give yourself flexible long term deadlines, but more solid short term deadlines. Like empty 4 file drawers by end of 2 week, but make yourself stick to 1 per day with plenty of room to schedule those.. So good luck all!
When I have read England english books....the use of the word "joy" reads more like satisfaction...while American use of joy is more in the happiness ....the Kondo makes more sense in the satisfaction usage.
Yes slowly decluttering is the only way to go. I set aside 15 minutes to work on decluttering everyday. Some days I don't get to it and some days I do a little more. But the plan is 15 minutes a day. It's amazing what you can accomplish in 15 minutes.
Kondo's books changed my mindset about letting go of items I did not care about. It was impossible until it finally sunk in. I continue to re-read her books to refresh. It was painful at first but her support and ideas resonates with me. I still declutter. Her books are the only ones that worked for me. We each have to find our own way so it works for us.
You had the same type of thoughts I had about the Konmari method. I agree with you on so many points. Spark joy? When it came to clothes I didn't really like any of the ones I owned because I'm overweight and nothing 'sparks joy'. What I learned is to keep what I actually wear and feel comfortable in then donate what I don't wear, or don't feel comfortable in. Then to buy only quality clothing made of natural fibers that I'm certain I'll wear. Since Covid I have not been shopping for clothing yet, so I'm still wearing whatever I have. Also ALL the things that Spark Joy may not necessarily mean you should keep them. I've gifted to my children some of the most beautiful handmade pottery that I simply didn't use. They're now using those items. That sparks joy! Another example which is a funny story, I kept 2 items from my high school boyfriend. He gave them to me when he was overseas during the Vietnam war. We were no longer dating but he still cared about me. Fast forward 40 years and he found me (after both of our divorces) and we've been dating again for almost 11 years (I'm 69). He was surprised that I'd kept and displayed those items all these years. But my daughter was totally shocked that he was the man who gave them to me! But no matter what, the Konmari method changed my life and how I thought about what I owned. I've been on a quest since I first read the book. I didn't think I was looking for minimalism until I started realizing I had things just because I'd always had them. Of course I wanted them at some point, but for some reason I'd kept them even when they were no longer useful to me. I felt they all had value, so why would I discard them? That's actually the hardest part for me, finding new homes that I feel good about. Lastly my divorce from my second husband turned out devastating to me. I was single for 15 years before I re-met my current boyfriend. But I had bad reminders of him all over my house. Just last week I took the remainder of my 'reminders' to be resold in a second hand shop. I still have a table and chair set in my garage that I plan to sell, but then it's all gone, just like him. So there can be 2 sides to keeping or not keeping special gifts from boyfriends (or husbands). It just goes to show that each person has their own pace and way to do their own decluttering. No one way is the right way for everyone. As a fun side note, my vertical folding now falls over in my drawers too. However I'm decluttering to the point where all my clothes will fit into my closet so I no longer need a dresser. The closet I have now is 5' wide. I used to have 2 closets, 1-12' and 1-8' - a total of 20' of closet space plus 2 dressers which was 8 drawers filled with clothing. I think I'm doing much better with loving all that I own. Thanks for all you videos, You've helped me a lot and I really enjoy them.
A great story (with your current boyfriend). I'm also sorting out a lot of things that remind me of my ex-husband now that I'm moving to another area, and that arouse bad feelings. But I won't sort my clothes by size because I want to lose weight again. I tried Marie's folding but didn't keep it up for long. I prefer to hang up T-shirts with space-saving hangers on which I can hang several T-shirts and then simply fold them together. But I roll leggings and then put them in boxes.
I agree. Decluttering has been an every weekend thing for me recently. I work Monday through Friday and have a husband and a young one. I am 27 weeks pregnant also. So far, so good with the decluttering. Definitely inspired by you and many more along the process.
I love youtube and all the videos I can find where other wonderful people like yourself share their experience. Life is a journey and we can’t go it alone. ❤
Marissa, you're helping me soooo much in my major decluttering! Coming from an abusive home and being completely independent since I was 19, I definitely have alot of hoarding tendencies, both emotional/sentimental and just in case. I brought so much stuff the midwest to NYC when I moved out, but now I'm moving to London this year and have to get rid of so much. Basically a similar journey to yours!! The sentimental box has helped me keep some things I don't want to get rid of but keep it to a small amount. Still working on the clothes and other things, but I've made so much progress thanks to your videos!! Always looking forward to your next video, thanks so much!!
Hi thank you for putting this video together! I started KM in 2015 struggling with early motherhood, bad marriage, then pregnancy, divorce, child with health treatment ongoing for years ... Still trying to KM .... Lololololol.... KM and Minimalism are very similar from the angle is that keeping only what you find joyful(or emotional) and what is needful. Just I think minimalism adds a layer of review ... A lens ... To again look at what is truly important to you.
I decluttered my clothes to the point that I got rid of my dresser! I hang my tops and my 3 pairs of jeggings. I don't worry about vertical folding my 3 nightgowns (I can find them just fine in a stacking drawer system in my closet lol!) My ONE nod to Marie Kondo is I do roll my undies and have them contained in a 50 cents Dollar Tree plastic tray in the same drawer with my jammies....and my socks lol! Boy oh boy did it ever feel GOOD to eliminate my dresser! One less thing to dust!
About the vertical folding method, I found out a different version that prevents the clothing item from unfold. I don't remember where I got it from but it works for me no matter the container or the item.. When you fold the item you insert one end into the other. I even pack my suitcass that way!. My point is, take the ideas as a starting point and make your own twist.
Hello, I'm a mother of 4 children (20to11), I'm 41. We are strange minimalist because, we have lots of books, games and colors in our home, but still a clutter free home. Because everybody grows, because our life changes a little, we have to make a declutter in school books and papers, in chikdren's clothes and in their art's stuffs. And with them, it's more difficult, 😅 because I can't do that for them, I have to wait for their holidays, happpily in 2 weeks.😹 And the cleaning spring will be done. Thanks for your video, kiss from south of France
My child was grown and gone before I started decluttering so I can’t comment about kid’s stuff. My journey started 14 years ago when I moved across the country. I got rid of carloads of stuff, both before and after moving. I continued paring down for several years because my house told me it wanted to be empty! Then I read The Life-changing Magic book and immediately began purging with a purpose. I did Marie Kondo’s whole program in about a week, and I stopped buying stuff. I’ve done two or three more big purges and many minor ones because I start questioning WHY I saved certain things, then I let them go. In seven years I’ve bought very little. I consider myself a minimalist with simple needs, and I get simpler all the time. It is how I define myself now. I’m not sure when it will end. Sometimes I fear I’m erasing myself. I just feel happier and more at peace with less stuff and more empty space. Yet I look around at my home, which I love, and see I still have everything I need. And then I see more that I can purge! Like you, Marie Kondo was just a stepping stone and a catalyst for my journey from decluttered to minimal. I realized her approach seemed to me like a Japanese schoolgirl, sorting her Hello Kitty toys. I was ready for more. Much more.
I discovered decluttering after 7 children. I'm an ex bin buyer, organizer, clutter shuffler. It was really hard with kids! Life is calmer and its been a 5 year journey. Yes five years!!! You'd be surprised at how much stuff comes in your home. And with a large family, everyone feels like you are a donation center. Its hard to say no to kindness and that's one of big hurdles I had to get over.
I had 3 children, and after they each bought their own house, I loaded up the back of my pickup with all the stuff they had stored at my house, and delivered it to them so didn’t need to bother trying to fit in their own cars (that’s sarcasm, just get it out of my place. I’m not your storage facility.)
The “spark joy” doesn’t work for every item. I mean, my toilet plunger doesn’t spark joy but I need to have it. And I agree that some people find joy in everything and have a hard time getting rid of things.
I've been a part of a decluttering group for the last year, and a couple questions they encourage you to ask yourself are first "If I needed this item, where would I look first?" Even if it's not where that item classically "belongs," in your home and space, if that's where you think of first, that's where it goes. And if you can't answer that question, you then ask yourself "If I needed this item at some hypothetical time in the future, would it even occur to me that I even have one? Or would I likely go buy a new one anyways?" If you'd likely forget it existed in your home, then it's probably time to donate or trash that item. I've even heard that with hoarders that want to keep trash, like empty gum wrappers, you still start with the first question, "If I needed an empty gum wrapper, where would I look first?" Usually it'll help them see that it actually is trash and they don't actually need to keep it. These kinds of questions force us to look at things more realistically and logically, and make a decision about items now instead of pushing it off to our future selves (that we think will have the perfect answer but we know we'll actually be the same person then😆). If we're only asking ourselves "Does this spark joy? Or do I like/want it?" (which is perfectly fine for some items), we can think of a million reasons we want or like just about everything! 🙋♀️
If you read her books, she addresses this. She says if there’s an item that doesn’t naturally spark joy but must be kept for functional reasons, you should look at it for its usefulness and what it does for you, and keep it/look after it the same way you would something you love.
So many people who criticize Marie Kondo’s philosophy have obviously never read her book. Maybe they’ve seen an episode of her show, often not even that.
While I learned a lot from Marie Kondo, I knew that most of my stuff sparked joy and I was having trouble parting with it. What really helped me was learning about Swedish Death cleaning. Taking the time to ask myself if I really wanted my children to be burdened with all my stuff when I passed away. Nope. I am carefully going through my items and making decisions so they don't have to. For the items I am keeping I will write down in a notebook how best for them to dispose of all the things that they don't want.
I am with you on this one! SDC took me so much farther than KonMari. I love her and what she does, it just wasn't enough for me to feel at peace in my home, and for how my children or husband will need to deal with things when I go.
SDC was more an affirmation for me of why and how I was decluttering. My husband and I started because his mother died, and we were the ones tasked with going through her house and donating or discarding everything the rest of the family hadn't claimed. She had cleared out a lot in the 10 years before she died, but even so, her house was overstuffed with lots of things that didn't deserve the space she gave them (three old, cheap, nasty frying pans exactly the same size and in exactly the same bad condition, for example.) We traveled four hours by car (one way) to get to her house, every weekend for a month, and went home exhausted to do it all again the next weekend. We vowed we'd get our stuff sorted through so that no one had to do that for us when we're gone. SDC affirmed for us that there are other people who agree with us that it's too much work to dump on your loved ones, and what Marie Kondo did was give us one of many techniques to use to accomplish our goals. I used dozens of different techniques - each had a little something to teach me about how to move forward.
Totally agree👍.. I was minimalist all my life... Until marriage and had kids😭. Then there was so much.. And my now ex husband holds on to everything... Once we separated and he moved out Jan 2017...it took me the first year and a half to just separate all my husband and my stuff after 17yrs together.. But I did realize I didn't have as much as I thought! Between, kids, work, activities and illness etc it was slow... After I had packed all his stuff (90 boxes).. 50 of which he still needs to pick up.. But we are still in the divorce process .. So I haven't pushed.. Then I spent another 1.5 years sorting and decluttering my and my kids stuff.. I did several sweeps of the house in this time.. Especially with sentiment.. Each time I went back to it I could declutter more. I haven't decluttering for about 2 years.. Just maintained.. But I hope to do another declutter this autumn. I loved being minimal.. Having kids I struggle with stuff.. But I am not forcing them to be minimal.. Just coaxing them to declutter and organize... So it becomes routine for them.
Not a mom yet, but I was a child when my mom introduced decluttering to me and my sister. I was about 8 and one of those kids who was "mature for my age." I think getting the kids involved with decluttering is excellent, especially since my mom led with the message of blessing someone else. That bit and letting me think about another kid who isn't as fortunate as I was playing with and appreciating some of my toys which I no longer played with as much helped me to think more about the things I wanted as I grew older.
After my 3rd child was born I tried the Konmari method for decluttering and got extremely overwhelmed. I love Dana K. White's method of decluttering without making a mess. It's the only way that works for me unless I am only doing a single drawer or shelf.
I need to check that out, because I can't concentrate long enough to get my whole closet done if I have to take out all of my stuff at once. The pile on my bed would make me overwhelmed and I would not know where to start. Thank you for that tipp.
My hubby and I also did the KonMari method and it WORKED for my clothing and somewhat for my books. Then I got bogged down with all the miscellany. I found Dana K. White from the Minimal Mom video about how to deal with an overwhelming space. My hubby was stunned by how tidy our home looked after I decluttered a small space, when in the past it would have looked like a tornado went through for a week or more. Now we're doing the Take Your House Back course. It is helping.
Dani is the best!!!!! All other methods are just too much for me but decluttering as I live my life is just what I needed....also, Dana isnt a minimalist and neither am I😊
You are absolutely right. For me minimalism is a journey, not a goal. I try to find my real me by asking myself: Do I really want this item in my life? Do I want to take care of it? (Space, cleaning). I'm getting happier and happier by finding myself under the stuff! ❤️
I like the points you make in the video. I think it is easy to keep small keepsake items like cards, letters, coins, jewelry, small toys, etc. Decluttering for me is getting rid of bulky or heavy things; and finding good-looking useful storage (furniture) for whatever to arrange I want to keep, so I know where it is and how to find it when I need it. For each item I think: 1) is it a keepsake?; 2) does it have good energy?; 3) do we use it or need it? 4) are we going to regret one day if we got rid of it? 5) how much space does it take, or how heavy is it? And maybe other questions. When tidying up, I start with categorizing everything - in drawers, bins, boxes, etc. and then going through each category separately to get rid of big things, doubles, or things that bring me bad energy/feelings from the past. So, I guess "sparks joy" works for me. Everyone is different, I am kind of superstitious, so I don't like old things (like from garage sales), bulky plastic colorful things, and cheaply-made things. It's better for me to have less of something, but better quality. I also tried to implement feng shui and classic Montessori in my house (the old principles, not the modern toys and activities they have) - these 2 help a lot with living a better, simple, quality life. I am not a complete minimalist, but I've always had boundaries and having too may things has always made me frustrated, angry, and distracted. I totally agree with kids is more difficult. After my second one, I am still trying to put my belongings in order, and it's still in process. Also, I think first before we buy something new, and if we get it - the old one needs to go. I donate and recycle. Some things can be burned. I try not to fill the landfills.
i'm a Professional Organizer and LOVE to finally hear someone question come of Marie Kondo's premises. I agree that 'sparking joy' does NOT cover all the reasons for purging or letting go of items that people have held onto for years. Another thing that I think is wrong and even difficult is the folding of the clothes. I got all of my clients to ditch their drawers and chests and trunks... and to hang everything. Why? Because you can categorize and see everything you have all at one time. No running back and forth to drawers and stacks of items and then running back to hanging clothes. Think of it: all short-sleeved t-shirts hung together (color coded no less!). All camis hanging together. All short-sleeved blouses and long sleeve blouses..... all together, color coded and hanging above your 'bottoms that are all together and color coded! PLUS, no wrinkles! When people put ALL of their like items together, beside each other, and color code them, they can see where they have too many black turtlenecks, or white camis with lace. It's hard to keep track of this when items are in different locations. Give it a try. Hang up everything: categorize all like items and then color code them, and you will see where you are short on some items, and have an unecesary abundance of other items. Also, hanging tops and blazers and sweaters (their are gentle ways of hanging them) ABOVE pants, shorts and skirts let's you see at a glance what can go with what and spurs ideas for styling outfits. As for kids, it is fast and easy to take broken toys and puzzles and games with missing pieces and stick them in a box. Take ANY kid's item and stick them in a box or plastic bag and store them in the back of a closet or in the garage. No one missing it? Then, after a month, donate it, or ditch it. So much for the 6 month fallacy! And, instead of telling yourself that it is going to take 6 months (OMG!, how overwhelming and depressing!), take ONE, I will repeat ONE item of kid's stuff that you know without doubt can go and put it in the bottom of the trash. DONE! What did that take? 30 seconds? Do it every day, or every other day, and on days with more time, grab several handfuls and just PURGE them from your space. Old, grubby toys, broken, torn or stained items just need to go to make room for fresh ideas and inspiration. Rather than 'sparking joy' (which I agree is nebulous as an answer on whether to keep something or not) I used to ask my clients, (and had them ask themselves) the most important question of all: DO i NEED IT AND USE IT? Is there a perfect accessory that completes the look of a room and you LOVE the look of it? Keep it. Are there 3 dozen accessories that are just sprinkled around and just look messy rather than complimenting a room? Put them in a box and after a month, pitch/donate them once you find you don't miss them. This works with clothes or anything else you are hesitating about whether to keep. If you don't IMMEDIATELY clutch it to your breast and NEED it... then box it up for a while and see whether you claw your way back into the box in the next month to retrieve that item. It's actually amazing what we can live WITHOUT! Try it for a month. Don't remember items that are in the box? Just ditch the box without opening it ever again... and move on.
When my twins were young, I would have one at a time take all their toys to the living room and sort by type. Then for each type they would separate into 3 categories where there was the I love and would not want to loose pile, the I am uncertain pile and the I no longer want pile. Looking over the I am not sure pile I would ask them to pick their top 5 in the pile and we would then donate the others with the no longer want. We ended up doing this once every 6 months. This was well before organizing was popular. We would put back their room and it was very satisfying for them. I believe I started this when they were 3.
I’ve rolled shirts into drawers for years. I think I learned the idea from an HGTV organizing show. I appreciated much of MK’s suggestions. I’m not a fan of emptying a room and piling up things to go through them. My daughter does that and then loses steam part way through. She leaves her piles all over the place and still doesn’t address the room she’s trying to clean.
I had a similar experience.... Konmari was an excellent starting point for me. I was able to let go of a lot of things guilt-free and surround myself with meaningful things I love. Later, i took it a step further towards minimalism and let go of a ton more.
I love using vertical folding for my t-shirts, but it does get annoying when there are a few in the wash & they start to fall over lol. But that's a neat idea to use the vertical storage for other things like storage containers and memory box contents! I'm going to have to try that! When my kids were home (and we were homeschooling) it was really difficult to declutter. After they graduated, it became much easier to declutter!
I am team Marie Kondo because so many people have decluttered because of her and I love that. I agree with you on the “sparks joy” comment because everything sparked joy for me at one point. In a previous video of yours, you mentioned how your husband keeps a lot of socks because of his childhood. I just wanted to thank you for sharing that with me. I just donated 7 garbage bags of clothes and I burst into tears on the way home because when I was a child and we didn’t have a lot of money, I only had a certain amount of clothes and I was bullied because of it. I didn’t realize my issue with clothes ran SO DEEP until I made the connection to your husband. I still have too many socks but I’m working on it 😅
I’m not saying everyone has to like the Marie Kondo method, but I wish people would actually read her books before critiquing. For example, the “only have 30 books” thing is an oversimplified myth. She also doesn’t expect things like dustbins, toilet brushes and other life essentials to spark joy automatically. She advocates looking at essential items for the purpose they serve and treating them with the care of a beloved item. There’s many more examples. Again, I don’t expect everyone to like Konmari, but it’s frustrating reading sooo many misconceptions over and over again, that could be so easily clarified by reading her books.
I roped my husband into watching an episode of Tidying Up with me and his comment was that if he had to purge every article of clothing that didn't 'spark joy' he'd have almost no clothes left. Which raised an interesting point. Sometimes you need things that you are completely indifferent to.
Yes, my chicken yard shoes , which stay on the porch, don’t spark joy, yet I’m thankful for them. “Sparking joy” is a strange terminology for we Americans, but I can’t think of a more suitable cultural exchange.
I agree with the spark joy method because the stuff we own emit their own energy which is transmitted into the space and into our lives. The subconscious mind can process a lot of our belongings. Probably getting rid of stuff from an ex lover subconsciously means u are ready to invite a new relationship in your life. Stuff that gave us a bad experience using, or that reminds us of a bad phase/moment could probably still have the negative energy emitting from them. If an item is useful to us and makes life easy it also does spark joy even if it is ugly. The same goes for a beautiful shirt that makes u feel uncomfortable,that probably gives u a heavy heart just looking at the shirt and how u cant work it. Just my thoughts.
OK .. I absolutely agree with the exes point you mentioned!!! Finally someone said it..!!! My ex bf gave me a photo frame which is shaped like a cat and I love cats, it was definitely a thoughtful gift and I still like it and still use it.. And on the other hand the same ex had given me a small vase which I didn't really like because it wasn't my taste I got rid of it (donated) after we broke up ... And I wanted to add one more thing... Decluttering is a process and for most people it is a slow process especially at the start and esp for those who are emotional hoarders or have depression or anxiety ... When I broke up with this particular ex (my first bf😢) I didn't delete and instead kept all the msgs that he had sent me... Mostly they were abusive Msgs... And I kept them for almost 1 year after the break up ... I had to keep those to remind me why I needed to leave him and not go back like all the previous times.. And when finally I moved on... I deleted our conversation..
Im 41 and single and i have not kept anything from exes and im delighted. I think its a great way to close the door to that chapter. They were the wrong people in my life and i dont need reminders of bad people
Something struggle with regarding the KonMari method is that it’s *NOT* disability friendly. Pulling out all items in one category and putting it in one place? Not putting stuff back before you finish discarding? Unable to use a good portion of storage space because of inaccessibility? The sheer amount of stuff that isn’t “joyful” but vital to staying healthy, the medical hardware that is depressingly stark and bleak… various cleaning and organizing methods that don’t include the perspective of disabled people and our needs is nothing new. It’s still disheartening to be on the edge of this “life-changing” lifestyle and know there are serious obstacles.
This is such a valuable insight! As someone who worked in a hospital closely with PTs and OTs I know how important things like energy conservation and mobility/ access planning are and having the proper devices! Thank you for sharing this. ❤️
But Mari Kondo absolutely advises to keep things that may not "joyful" immediately, but will "spark misery" when you *don't* have them at hand, because you will need them? Which would of course include *each and every* medical hardware no matter how bleak. To say otherwise is completely missing what she did say and in all honesty totally misrepresenting her ideas. (And yeah... I believe some things absolutely should be critiziced, but this is missing the point. Also, I think a lot of the things mentioned are misconceptions because of how much is lost to translation. There is literally no real concept or wording in the English language that really does say what the author is trying to say with that "spark". It's not about joy! But still that's all that English speaking readers will attribute to it. You have to keep in mind that Mari Kondo's book and method are deeply, *deeply* shinto. It is not about clearing out garbage or a cool trendy new "lifestyle", but how to have a deeply religious ceremony to celebrate the energy of the souls of all things you own and let the chi flow freely. Really, there are a bunch of misconceptions. "I don't understand you, because I only read a translation... - therefore *you* must be wrong!"
@@elektra121 I have read the book, thank you very much-in print, in audio, and the manga, and the fact that MUCH of her teaching is inaccessible remains a fact. Pulling out everything in one category and leaving it out until you finish discarding is *dangerous* for people with mobility aids. The fact that a lot of inbuilt storage is inaccessible to people in wheelchairs or who have other mobility impairments is also a fact. I adore MK’s philosophy, but that doesn’t change the fact that her method requires a great deal of reworking from a disabled POV. (I’ve read all three of her books, and own the first two in audio as well.) I would say it is YOU who is ignorant of of the daily challenges of a disabled individual striving for an independent life…and perhaps you should humbly seek out knowledge instead of passing judgement on a way of life and the difficulties you know absolutely nothing about.
@@elektra121 you are very condescending in this comment. You're not helping anyone understand Marie's work, you're just putting someone down and assuming that they're uninformed because they have a different opinion. If you find it fulfilling to put strangers down online, I suggest therapy.
I agree. The process itself is incredibly demanding energy- and attention-wise. It's tough with ADHD to make myself do it, although having less stuff and more organized spaces is indeed very helpful.
Thank you very much for this video! I agree with you. The Konmari-Method was for me a starting point as well, but I also went further during the last years. - I look forward to your videos every week! Have a blessed week!
Like you, Marie Kondo started me on my journey to minimalism so I’ll be forever grateful. I realized pretty quickly though, her methods weren’t for me. I switched to Dana K White and The Minimal Mom. First of all, a spatula, no matter how cute, does not spark joy for me. Neither does a toilet plunger but I need to have one! As far as kids go, I am retired but my guest room is used by my grandchildren when they have sleepovers and coming to Grandma’s house means they can have stuffed animals, blown up balloons, lots of dress up clothes etc in “their” room. I’m much happier this way because they will grow up and have fond memories of spending time at my house than if I “Marie Kondoed” their space. As for pulling everything out, that just created more mess and chaos. Dana K White has a wonderful “no mess” system for decluttering. Lastly, the folding of clothes: I use bins only. No drawers. Pardon my language, but I half-ass fold things. I now have a manageable amount of things so there’s no real big mess. Thank you for sharing!!
I'm glad I found this video. I'm a (slowly) recovering hoarder but my goal is to become a minimalist because I'm sick of clutter and stuff and want to make life easier as I also have chronic pain and depression and all the stuff doesn't help. I like Marie Kondo but don't agree with her method 100%, and I find it hard when I love most things I own. I appreciate this video and I am definitely going to check out more!
An ACA. Your lucky your father knew he had a problem. There’s a lot of people that won’t try to get help. You should be proud. I like that you told this story. It’s something that isn’t talked about. Going to an Alanon meeting this afternoon.
We have been actively decluttering for 13 months now. We have 2 kids and we moved in the midst of it. We live so much more minimally now, but I still feel like I want to do more.
I used the Marie Kondo method and loved it. Grouping like items, seeing the way over abundance of varying quality of items, and picking the very few things that sparked joy changed my buying and storing habits. Changing my buying and storing habits is what really changed my home. Then I decided to go more minimalistic and removed items that sparked joy but I knew I would never display or purposely seek out just to look at. I had decluttered a little at a time for decades. It wasn’t until the KonMari method that I had a mind shift and now my house stays decluttered. My house is pretty much always visitor ready now. Note: Grandkids playroom is in the finished basement so I don’t have a toy issue that most families would have.
I definitely find it harder to find the TIME to declutter with kids, BUT I actually find it easier to let go of things we don't need now with kids than I did before without kids. Less space now and easier to discern what is adding value and what isn't. 🥰
I have 5 kids and homeschooling mom, with a small business from home, started decluttering just before giving birth to our fifth 8 months ago and I am NOT even close to decluttering even HALF of our home. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. Wanting to get rid of things but CANNOT because I am emotionally attached to so many things, however, I am a registered PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER... I slipped into depression and moved around quite a bit and now I'm trying to pick up the pieces. I haven't given up tho...one day at a time...get rid of things every week. Thank you for this video, I needed to be reminded of a lot
I need to get into minimalism! I have stuffitis! And an Amazon addiction I need to break! I also have 5 kids with 4 still at home. Plus a tiny house. I used to constantly clean, organize, reorganize, and get rid of things. But with age I developed lupus & RA. I lost all that energy I had and I gained a lot of pain. My mistake was I sat down. I should have kept moving. Now I’m battling getting moving and motivated again. My house is a cluttered disaster! With my ocd and adhd I want it perfect! But also if it’s too much to do and I get overwhelmed I give up and walk away! Being type A personality with adhd is super hard! When I start anything I think it has to be stripped to bare bones, completely cleaned top to bottom, redone if needed, then everything kept needs to be cleaned throughly before anything can be put back. I actually create more work for myself by wanting perfection. It makes me crazy! Then my adhd tells me to look away and pretend it’s not there. Procrastinate! But my ocd wants to complete that to do list and get even more done each day. I used to be able to keep up with the ocd. But I can’t anymore and I get depressed when I can’t. I’m definitely a work in progress!
absolutely love this video. I love her method, but I also love that you have a different take on it (and the courage to put out your own style of video :] ) and aren't putting her methods down or speaking negatively;; you're just speaking on your own ways that work for you, and can help other people that have gone through trauma to know its ok to hold on to certain things, regardless if they don't make use feel utter joy. I will forever hold onto my dads AA chip because he maintained over 30 years of sobriety, without a single slip up. Regardless of the pain of the past, it's a reminder too of strength and courage. Life isn't perfect, life is messy, and to expect 100% positivity at all times is toxic. I love your video. Would be so cool to see her come to your 'side of the road' and mesh both your styles together for video. And for any negative comments..... Yes I had the time today. I'm doing laundry right now and trying to declutter my mind with UA-cam videos 😂
Totally agree that decluttering is challenging with kids! So much more stuff and many other people (read kids) feelings to consider and kids needs to be involved if their older and if younger, challenging to work with lol. The process is doable but totally agree, takes time!
I couldn't agree with this video more! I too fall more on the side of Marie Kondo. I'm pro Marie just because she comes from such a postive and beautiful mindset. But in all honesty and reality, life is sooooooooo much more complex than just the idea of "spark joy." There is a weight and complexity that comes with our stuff and the memories that are atteched to human beings. It's so weighty you know. But I can take pieces from her method and glean the pearls of wisdom. Oh and yes- I find that decluttering is definitely harder with children. I find myself keeping items because of the what ifs - i.e. play clothes, and toys. And then for me, holding onto clothing items they wore when they were little or artwork made by their little hands is super hard to filter through and narrow down. It's hard to let go! Great topic.
I totally agree with the kids comment. I used to try-before I heard of the MariKondo method- to help my kids declutter their rooms and help make decisions. Whenever I tried to explain the process (even if I did it in a positive helpful way) my son fought with me for hours. By the time dinner time came around, I was exhausted and frazzled. Let alone, just the day to day living. Anyway, another flaw I have found with "spark joy" rule is mental illness. When I am in a really depressed or anxious place, nothing brings joy. For the most part, I love Marie and her influence on the world. Instead of focusing on just getting rid of stuff and feel shame and disgust for having stuff and mess. I absolutely love the idea of giving thanks to the things that you purge. It helps me let go and have peace emotionally.
Indeed, one size doesn't fit all. We're smart enough to customised the guru's method to our individual need. Regarding point (2), try using a slim bookend either upright or sideway to "herd" the folded clothings together.
This was quite helpful. I’m extremely sentimental, too. We had a house fire 20 years ago when my children were small. We lost everything, including our cat. We lost heirlooms, all with family stories behind them, photographs of beloved family members long dead, the children’s favorite stuffed toys, all named, that they carried with them constantly. Losing the cat upset us the most. He’d ridden in the truck with us in a cross country move as a kitten. Seeing the kids traumatized was horrible. Now the children are adults, two are away. They’re not particularly sentimental about things. We’re planning to downsize, retire and move across country. I have 19 years of accumulation from a family of five and various pets. I’m going to start with items we care nothing about. I’ll save the sentimental for the last. Try to reduce it to a not too large box. My husband can coach me through that.
I think Marie Kondo's method is really great for people who have maybe started decluttering a little or haven't decluttered but know they need to and just need some guidance and a push in the right direction. "Spark joy" was a helpful guideline for me when I tried it, and it helped me part with things I had held onto and resisted decluttering for years. I did have to break down the categories into smaller ones in order to make the process manageable with young kids and a busy schedule, and my progress stopped once I hit komono. However, her method had by that point helped me strengthen my decluttering muscles enough that I was able to eventually finish decluttering my entire home with other criteria besides spark joy. It really does work!
Marie Kondo made her book to help hoarders to clean up open space and keep only things which fit to the drawer. And the way she is folding is not for minimalistic wardrobe but fitting so many items as possible to the small space. She was surprised by her self that people thought her book was having to do with minimalism in the beginning but accepted it very soon and changed her target audience: people wanting to catch minimalistic lifestyle bought it. Sparkling joy is idea which work with hoarders but not with minimalistic lifestyle as the guide line is more like "Keep things you need".
I love this video-- I love your fresh perspective, how you are not afraid to be vulnerable and I think that you are very inspirational! I believe that everything you have set out to do and be this year will not only benefit you and your family but also your online family! You are so easy to watch and so easy to love!XXOO
I totally agree. Kids have so much stuff regardless of how we minimize it especially when they start going to school. They tend to keep every paper that they bring home.
I love the points you made in this video. As far as deciding what to keep and what to get rid of with the Kon Marie method I think the overall idea is that you don’t always need to keep an ‘item’ in order to keep the ‘memory’ that item invokes. So when you were mentioning about your dads AA coin, (just to use that as an example) you don’t necessarily need to keep the physical coin in your life in order to remember the lessons you learnt about life during that time. If that makes sense. Or the stuff from your ex’s you don’t necessarily need actual items to remember that time in your life. But of course if these items bring you joy by having them in your life then definitely keep them. But you don’t always necessarily need an ‘item’ to remember a ‘memory’. That’s my take on the Kon Marie method anyway. But I loved your thoughts on the whole thing and will be following along with you as I declutter my house (again) over the coming months.
I don’t agree with “Does it spark joy” I’ve gotten rid of many things that “spark joy”. Just because I like something doesn’t mean I NEED it. Thanks for the video.
And it could also mean that the only things allowed to stay after decluttering could be the dog, the bed, the coffee maker and a big mug (bye bye family) ... Honestly, I also got rid of lots of stuff that sparked joy, just because otherwise nearly everything would have stayed...
YES!!!! My life changed when I read somewhere that just because I like something or I think it's beautiful, doesn't mean I have to own it! It's fine to just admire it in the store and leave it there.
Instead of asking if it sparks joy, I ask myself how upset I’d be if it got a nasty stain, and would it be worth the time and effort to try to save it. For some reason, I was able to get rid of a lot more things that way. 😊
@@mtheron100 hahahahah, kind of like when you see a mighty fine looking man on the street. hahahah, He sparks joy, but if ya married , no can do !!!. So I just be like "God, that is one mighty fine creation you made there ". Admire, spark joy, but don't have or keep ! heheheheheh
When I've used Mari Kondo's method I've put my own little spin on it. I keep things that spark joy BUT I mainly keep my collections of limits and, if I'm not sure about something, I "sleep on it," though often for too long.
I watch videos like yours in utter amazement! Happy that it works so well for you, but I simply cannot understand how anyone wants to live in a stripped down , bare , empty space for the sake of "having less"
I ALWAYS get rid of stuff associated with relationships I no longer connect with. There is ENERGY in those things, and I don't want that kind of energy around me. As soon as the relationship is done, out goes all of the stuff from him. I agree with Mari on this one. And yeah. I'm 65 now; at one point there were three kids living with me; I can't imagine trying to live a minimalist life (realistically) with three kids, husband, job, meals, cleaning, yard work. I started simplifying my household in the '90s when the "simple" trend first started. I've collected/purged/collected/purged frequently since then. To me, minimalism is one way to really get to know myself better. When you strip everything down to "THIS is what I REALLY love and use and value," you see who you are.
While I didn't get validation on my book collection, this video was such an encouragement! I would love to have a very focused time of decluttering this year, but this was a good reminder to also embrace the parts of life that can't stop - because if decluttering in itself becomes a source of stress, we've sort of missed the point, haven't we? 😆
Yeah, i cant stand her position on books. I have two shelf cases of books, and all of them get used at least once every 5 years, and many are expensive reference and/or valuable hardcover or even heirlooms. None are easily replaced with digital editions.
‘Most definitely more difficult with kids! I run a daycare in my home (😣) and I am trying to do some EXTREME decluttering. I have fallen back on some of your tips on what the best toys are for kids and I have been able to let many toys go.
I looked up this video because I struggle with depression and sometimes I hit these walls she talks about wanting to quit. Marie emphasizes that it's not necessarily about decluttering, but about sparking joy and keeping only that which fills you with good vibes. Joy is something that I feel like is so commonly misunderstood and as a result hard to come into contact with, in our experience. I've noticed with my time using her method, joy arises only when I'm present with what I'm doing. I think this is why she suggests piling each category in one heap like a robot without much thought or feeling and then when it's time to say yes, we switch on our joy-nominator. However, to make that switch may take some time because we're not all in tune with our bodies and intuition. So, as long as we use rational thought or fear of change, we will go nowhere fast. Then again depression pull me back to the negative and then I can lose my sense of joy so all that would usually spark joy, doesn't anymore.. I think there is an end in sight, and it comes down to one thing. Can you give yourself permission to live in joy when anything to do with fear kills it and we cannot live without fear, perhaps, we just fear, less and that's the answer. Let things go even though we're scared of losing them. And this beautiful thing happens when we let go.... Nothing bad ever happens.. also has anyone experienced hectic detox in your body from this process? Also you might be able to relate Melissa, I used to called myself a minimalist but this method challenged my identification with being a minimalist and for the better because I would get rid of things purely because I thought I could do without it but since discovering the konmari method, the most enlightening thing to awaken to was that i was missing out on the joy factor, it's okay to have a lot of stuff, in the end it really doesn't matter.. What matters is how you feel and how you make others feel.. okay peace out, sorry if this is a long one, I've been tucked away for a little while not talking to people lol
Sorry NO NOT O.K. TO HAVE A LOT OF STUFF! When my mother died it was " hell on earth" donating, selling, throwing out, giving away to be able to sell her condo. One word " SWEDISH DEATH DECLUTTERING" on u tube and xfinity.
@rachaelhartful I also struggle with depression (plus ADHD and physical issues) and have found having multiple encouraging voices helpful when I have the urge to quit. If you like A to Zen you might find the Minimal Mom and Clutterbug inspiring too. Their focus on the BENEFITS of clutter clearing gives me hope and motivates me (increased peace and calm, how much easier it gets to maintain a clean house...). Best wishes to you! ❤ P.S. It's really helped me keep going to use the Onion Method of decluttering EASIER stuff first + brief sessions with a timer + Temptation Bundling during and/or after with something I enjoy (podcast, music, TV, etc.). Taking Before and After photos and looking at the image instead of the stuff also weirdly helps me "see" what can go more easily. Once I noticed how much better I feel just from taking some action that also helped me more motivation to keep going (even doing 3 minutes with the timer, or finding 3 things to let go of). Wishing you well! 🌈🌱🌿💐☘❤
Minimalism gives me cold chills. I constantly go through my stuff to weed out stuff (so I have room for new things). However I do not have any trauma related to hoarding. Spark joy works perfect for me, as does the folding method. It works beautifully. BTW Marie has kids. Also I just gave my home a decluttering deep clean in 2 months. My house would probably give you palpitations lol
For #2, if the drawer is deep enough, you can use a bookend (I found a couple cheap metal ones at DT a while back) in the back of vertically-stored clothing, & each time you remove an item, just push the bookend forward. But half of my chest of drawers is cupboard-style, so I use a bin for one side but have to stack clothing on the other side. She's right that one type of storage solution does not fit all situations.
Interesting solution! 🤔 The depth of our cabinet might been an issue. They have hinges that go back far, because we upcycled a leftover kitchen cabinet!
![What does a MINIMALIST think of Marie Kondo's Netflix Show? [Season 1 - Tidying Up]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/I8Nz2abNJjE/mqdefault.jpg)
![What does a MINIMALIST think of Marie Kondo's Netflix Show? [Season 1 - Tidying Up]](/img/tr.png)
Please like 👍 this video + share your comments! Read the full blog post here: atozenlife.com/marie-kondo-tidying-up/
Hi Marissa! I really liked this video but the title is wrong. Shouldn't it be 5 things Marie Kondo got wrong? Unless there will be a part 2!
@@lauriem5089 Hi there, Laurie! I explained in the video that all 10 of my points can be found in the blog post here: atozenlife.com/marie-kondo-tidying-up/ 👍
Oops! My bad! Thank you for the link!
Haha! Had to add this about ex- stuff! I have a digital clock radio that I got from my boyfriend in high school in 10th grade. Circa 1979. I use it in the laundry room as a radio!!! I chuckle every time I use it because that christmas I would have loved to get a little promise ring. ( silly me) and I got a CLOCK RADIO!! Hahahaha! Dated the guy 5 years, then in college he cheated on me. I later married his cousin - 15 years together, divorced when this one cheated! So its a fond walk down memory lane! Haha many good times between the cheaters! Cie la vie!
All this is so over whelmimg to me We are moving about Aug 1 down sizing our home of 40 years I am 64 on June 4 health is not the best My hubby has a serious heart problem Can you please help me
Standard Kondo joke: "I got rid of everything in my house that wasn't sparking joy. I was really enjoying my spacious, minimalist lifestyle. But my husband and children spoiled it for me. They kept clamouring to get back into the house."
"I didn't read the book at all and just threw out what didn't make me joyful at the very first moment - and then I blamed all my misery on a book I didn't bother to read and which would have advised me to keep a lot of those things I threw out."
The dog and cat couldn't survive outside either.
@@elektra121 Yes, she is such a sharp clearminded person, and yet Marie is completely human. Life changing way of looking into ourselves.
Nothing but emptiness resides in MK
@@TheMagpieOfficial Sounds like projection.
I am so relieved to see that 6 months is considered a sprint. The amount of articles I have seen over the years that have expected me to declutter and spring clean the entire place, even washing down the walls, over a single weekend is ridiculous. I feel exhausted before even starting.
We need to STOP these unrealistic expectations. 🙌
Who’s the idiot that said that? Obviously somebody who already lived in a small apartment with very little stuff.
If you can declutter in a weekend then I'm not sure how cluttered you are - sounds more like tidying.
I'm giving myself 18 months not because I couldn't do it faster but because I have other stuff going on in my life!
I don't really like minimalism though - it feels soulless. When I sit in my sister's minimalist house I often feel uncomfortable and that I should tidy myself away 😆
I think you should follow the articles that only sparks joy to you
@@carolineg3079 Thank you!!!! I need some "stuff" around me, makes me happy....total minimalist just isnt for me....😂
Basically, the trick is not to obsess over anything. Don't obsess over objects, don't obsess over decluttering. Then you can find a happy balance. You can always get rid of more stuff, doesn't have to be an immediate change, and decluttering a little at a time will give you the satisfaction of accomplishment.
I like this video! The one thing about the Konmari method I struggle with is, that she says, you only have to declutter ONCE if you do it right. Maybe I’ve never done it right, but decluttering is something I keep doing. It’s a learning process and stuff keeps coming into our home especially with the kids. I don’t have big decluttering projects anymore like in the beginning of my minimalism journey, but still… the decluttering never really ends😅
I totally agree with you....It is not a one time journey but a continuous process
So true! Our life change, our preferences change, new stuff comes in, old stuff goes... I think decluttering never ends, it just gets easier
So true! I am a very neat and organized person and my friends all wonder what I have left to decluttering! It’s a lifetime process.
Yes, she addresses this in her Sparks Joy book. You shouldn't have to do that whole house declutter again if you follow her method. Of course things still come and go and we still all make purchases we regret but in my experience that huge overwhelm doesn't come back.
The first book she wrote before having kids. Spark Joy I felt like she had kinda balanced out.
I think a big part of her method with sparking joy and ruthless discarding is finding yourself and starting over. You start seeing a pattern in the things and life you want for yourself which fuels that confidence. I believe she emphasized having a vision in her book.
I hear you, being a mom of 4. I also think that Marie actually addresses all these issues in her book (which I noticed only after several readings). For example, the fact that you need to "train" yourself to understand what Spark Joy really means to you and it truly is the only question you need to ask yourself. We think we know what she means, but we don't. I had to learn that. I learned with my clothes observing my physical reactions to them. After I was finished, I realized I now could recognize that feeling much better and what "Spark Joy" really meant for me and me alone. And so I did it AGAIN with the clothes and got rid of even more! Then the rest (like sentimental items) was so much easier. 🥰
Well ppl seem to forget about the cultural differences.
Her method is based on the Shintoist religion.
Ppl who are in Japanese culture or practice Shintoist understand better what terms she is using and what she implies.
There's also many things that are completely lost in translation
I completely agree even in the show she specifically says you need to figure out what sparks joy for you. Once I figured it out game changer so completely agree 💯
A few days ago, I saw a UA-cam video showing a celebrity's fancy house filled with very expensive furniture, paintings, arts and all kinds of decorations. But I was not envy of that house at all. I saw emptiness, deception, big egos, etc. My gut reaction was that I preferred Marisa's home, in which I felt the sense of purity, love, and passion, and a lot of positive energies.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the kind words. ❤️
Rich people's homes do seem cold lacking that happy family energy. Which likely it is people that collect expensive decorative things its very much for show not to live and enjoy like families that have a room that the kids and family are never allowed to enter. It the rooms that are lived in that people can sit in spent time together in that have the best vibes
Decluttering for NO MORE THAN 5 minutes every day is sustainable, habit forming, systematic and balanced. The point is to make the home easier to manage in order to make time for relationships, health and enjoyment.
Successful decluttering that results in creating a permanent home for every needed item that is directly accessible (without having to move something out of the way) makes it easy to put things away, easy to see when you need to buy replacements and easy to avoid buying things you don't need. For example, last November, I decluttered under my kitchen sink and made decisions about what cleaning products I would and wouldn't use. I kept one container of each in use and one full back up. Mostly, I kept basics like dish soap, vinegar, rubbing alcohol, baking soda, etc. and a few specialty items like veggi-wash, stainless steel cleaner and silver cleaner. I hung spray bottles from door pulls mounted horizontally on the door insides and put small items in rectangular bins that can pull out like a drawer. I had plenty of room for an empty bucket, a bin of cleaning cloths, a bin of tea towels and a cleaning caddy. When I checked it a few weeks ago. I did not need to declutter anything. Empty containers were recycled and replacements purchased systematically. Worn rags discarded as used. Nothing to declutter after 5 months.
Housholds do not run on JOY alone. Toilet bowl cleaner never sparked my joy, but it occasionally made my life better when I needed it to remove rust stains. Most of the time, a weekly swish with dish detergent gets a very good result, but a 3 to 6 month scrub with a rust remover is welcomed. A better qualifier might be " Does this item make our lives better?" And better may be interpreted as healthier, easier, cozier, beautiful, cleaner and generally more supportive of relationships, health and enjoyment.
Thank you for sharing your thought process. I find it helpful, reinforcing and motivating.
If it made your life better, it sparked joy 😑
@Trinity M Thank you for your extensive reply; it's very helpful to the algorithm that feeds content to new viewers. Thanks also for telling me what I was thinking when I wrote my comment; I must not have explained my experience thoroughly enough in my own words. And thanks again for telling me the color of my skin, I did not realize that your perception of my skin color would be so relevant to my expressing my experiences.
I am not a minimalist but have watched a lot of your vids. I decluttered at the end of last year but did not follow any specific method, rather a combination of them, and I think that is the best way for most of us. Pick and choose aspects of all that appeal.
I asked myself, "does this spark joy?", "Who will get this when I die and would they rather have it now?", "How can I better organise this?" and so many other questions from various methods.
The important thing is to just do the decluttering. Whatever method you use, the end result is worth it.
A very smart and healthy approach! 🙌
I never get tired of konmarie-ing my home . It's relaxing, and makes me feel lighter from the inside
In the manga, the young woman had lost her own identity in trying to be what her ex boyfriends wanted. So letting go of her ex boyfriend's painting was symbolic and necessary for her.
Mari does often say that letting things go makes room for the next chapter of life, but it you successfully let go of the relationship without letting go of an object, that shouldn't conflict with her principles. 😊
In the comic, the girl has two objects from her exes, one is a necklace but she doesn’t care about it so she just likes this necklace so shee keeps it, then latter in the comic we see she has the picture, she has to get rid of it to start a new life.
Just like you said.
As far as the vertically folded clothes falling over, I saw a great hack where you use a simple book end to keep them in place as the drawer empties. Love your videos!!!
When we complicated things to the point of putting bookends in drawers in order to “simplify” them …you realise we have a problem :)
@@SolisIlanga i just dump everything in the drawer without bothering , the folding techniques was very beautiful but it had the results that my clothes just lived in the laundry basket because I couldn't bring myself to "fold this right now"😂
I agree with everything you said, especially about being pro-Marie Kondo, but the biggest issue with the KonMari method for me is the mess that it makes along the way. I don't usually have the time, energy, or space to gather all of a category of items in one place and go through them before I need to use that space for everyday living. I prefer to either go through a small space, like a drawer, or a smaller category, just T-shirts, not all clothes. Of course, I consolidate in the end to see if there's more I can get rid of but to do it all at once is overwhelming and makes me want to give up. I prefer Dana K. White's method. It's just more practical for me.
Same. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and can't gather everything and sort it at once. It also means I don't follow Dana's advice of putting each item away immediately
On keeping things from past exes . . . my high school sweetheart (1985-1987) joined the military and left me behind in high school. We reunited and married 30+ years later. A couple months ago I found a rather large stash of his love letters in an envelope in an old train case. Most of them were written on the backs of menus and placemats from the Chinese food restaurant he had worked at in high school, and had poems and artwork he had created for me. What a lovely find that we both enjoyed! I do now regret selling the pink dog he won for me at the State Fair! Much joy to you and thank you for your video.❤
What a sweet story! Thanks for sharing. ❤️
I love your story❤️
I aslo feel like its important to add is it extremely useful to does it spark joy.
When my hoarder mother died last June, my daughter and I were finally able with the help of a dear cousin to begin the process of "dejunking" our house! We needed -- and got -- great professional help also. You are so right when you mention that sometimes keeping something because it "sparks joy" for you may not "go far enough." Although I am not a hoarder, I had to cut down, then cut down, and then cut down some more. I am still cutting down. (However, there was a certain book of knitting patterns that I had given away that I had to reorder! It was not available in e-form! That's the only thing!) Things are now at a "manageable level." Whenever someone buys our house, we will be able to pack up in a week -- or less!
Sparks joy does not work for me either. Where I think she got it right was decluttering in categories. I've been decluttering my home for a year and a half and doing it in categories has greatly improved my success. I used to try to declutter areas and would be left with just a bunch of stuff I wasn't sure what to do with and that went to other places in my home. Her method helps, but I have combined it with what I have learned from decluttering and minimalism videos. I also agree about not letting go of everything from exes. I have been divorced for 16 years but still have the first Valentines Day card my ex-husband gave me when we were kids and dating. I have the cards he gave me when I was pregnant with our first child. I have the silly poems he wrote to me when we were still teenagers. The reason I hold onto those things is that I want our children to know that we once very much loved each other.
It’s nice to look back on things like this together too! ❤️ Thanks for sharing.
I am grateful that you are sensible. As children enjoyed finding love letters and cards that our parents sent to each other. We didn't know about many of them until we are cleaning up after their death. It really made things better for a few days
@@troubleshooter166 Thank you!
I agree. I have photos of my ex and my mother and friends all having fun and going places. I look at them and think I really wasn’t crazy when I married him. That’s when he changed completely and revealed his true self. If I berate myself, I pull out the photos.
I would argue that those objects from your exes in some way still spark joy for you especially since you want your kids to remember the love from these objects.
Those objects that you don't know what to do with don't have proper homes so make one. If they belong in to her parts of the house then you do know what to do with them.
Thank you for the excellent video. Whilst I have donated 5 car loads of stuff I don't need to charity, my late wife's clothes and personal belongings (Lynn passed away with cancer) is a tough one. The general declutter has freed up lots of space.
Hahahahahah. I know I've mentioned this---but more like 6 years. I'm autistic & we're a kidless couple & it has still taken me this long. Your minimalism channel is the only one that resonates with the reality of minimalism for me. I can't believe it, but I STILL have that back room to finish I commented on last yr--it's got me frozen. The kitchen/breakfast nook...started to get cluttered again & this is how it starts! TODAY--I finish the last 2 kitchen under-cabinets (my 2nd time-did this last yr) & empty room of stuff to shed. IT'S BEEN LITERALLY SO HARD FOR ME! I've gotten better at opening boxes/packages & sorting mail to put in trash right away--it doesn't come in. But here in TX, if you have junk mail & moms---it makes it SO much harder bc the clutter is trying...no, fighting to come in, while you finish decluttering. Despite, explaining that you are practicing minimalism. It has been really hard have OCD inside my Autism & hating dust/cleaning/getting decision fatigue (bc I get stuck/frozen on all the little details). I know HOW to do it----I just need to FINISH my house & then maintain it's decluttering like you've shown.
When i decluttered i planned for 3 big weekends, spending all time to declutter those days.
I first took a weekend and got rid of every single thing i thought i didnt need.
2 months later i once again took another weekend and decluttered.
A total of 6 months later i took a final weekend, checking and was finally content.
My experience is that you always miss something if you only clean once, also having breaks between the cleansings made me realise that i saw that i could get rid of more since i had time to think about it, knowing every single item i own and could therefor made a wiser decision.
I didnt buy a single item during those 6 months and im still thinking twice before buying new stuff and holy moley i saved money and time!
I think the problem with "spark joy" is it doesn't translate well into English. The words in Japanese hold more implied weight and context than "spark joy". It's such a different book in the original Japanese lol. I also read the Art of Discarding, which inspired the Life Changing Magic of Tidying up, and it seemed to flesh the idea out better. I do recommend it.
As for folding, IKEA makes drawer dividers. I use those to keep my stuff from flopping around.
For tidying with kids, I like Josh Becker's suggestions. He has a family and he and his wife do a great job of juggling kids needs, their wants and what works for everyone. I also really love How to Get Your Shit Together. She has a kiddo too and moved her family across the ocean to be in the States. (I'm going the opposite direction lol)
Btw that's an osechi tray not a bento box lol. Bento are much smaller
So much good info! I got that box as a gift and he called it a “bento” so funny I’ve been wrong all this time. 😅
Those ikea boxes are a life saver!
Yes, I also love How to get your Shit Together, just listening to her talk makes me smile😅
Can you explain how “Spark Joy” holds more weight in Japanese?
At least for me, helping my younger siblings declutter their belongings to only the things they use and care about is easier than convincing my parents to
Great realistic video! The one I fervently don't agree with is the "decluttering is a sprint". For me personally, it's a long, ongoing process. For one thing, I need time to allow myself to let go of sentimental things, and to me, it's like I have a decluttering muscle that needs to be trained constantly for the rest of my life. It gets stronger with time and practice.
I couldn’t commit to the Marie Kondo technique of gathering items by category and decluttering them. With work, a toddler, and other life commitments it was tough. But, I did manage to put aside 10mins each day to just declutter the stuff that I have been hoarding for years. It gives me so much anxiety and I can feel my heart beating so fast each time I have to declutter. 10mins each day is more than I can bear. I’ve also stopped shopping for wants, but more for needs that’s I’ve run out of instead. Thank you for inspiring us Marissa! 🙏🏻
I was fortunate when I discovered the life-changing magic of Marie Kondo: It was just my husband and me at home, we had already done a lot of decluttering on our own over the past year, and I wasn't working, so I could dedicate all of my time to the process. I didn't think I had that much stuff, and it took me 40 hours a week for four weeks to do it all. Luckily, I was into batch cooking, so I prepared and froze our meals ahead of my tidying "event". It was really intense, very eye-opening, and yes, it changed my life. Forever grateful. I agree about the folding method: the garments flop over when I open/close drawers.
Thank you, Melissa for sharing your Journey, Honoring the memory of your mother and father with your beautiful Family! Inspiring others to overcome the sadness... I am 48, and lost my Mom, 30 years ago and my Dad, 24.
So true - it was Marie Kondo who first inspired me to start decluttering and I bought her book way before this whole thing exploded. She is still my inspiration although I have ahem....decluttered her book. Yeah - there wasn't a lot of "joy sparking" when I went through my things. Sure, some had nice memories but honestly it was more helpful to base it on how many times do I really use this thing? And I had some beautiful pieces that sparked joy when I pulled them out but I never wore them because of my current lifestyle (WFH in sweats). And I never implemented the folding methods because they just seemed so fussy and I didn't store my shirts in drawers but had shelves. Also if you want to declutter quickly, then don't bother trying to sell anything - I donated everything as it was too much energy to try to recoup $ and just figured it was a learning lesson in not paying so much for stuff I was now giving away.
I can understand that about donating instead of selling so well!!! I will sell my kitchen, I can't afford to give it away, but I will sell some furniture. Especially now that refugees here in Germany are desperately looking for things.
But also because of the time it takes to sell, not to mention the nerves....
Funnily enough, I only started hanging up almost all my clothes (except leggings) after reading Marie Kondo's book and audio book (and the series).😂 I tie my socks with a clothes peg, wash them like that in a laundry bag, dry them like that and just throw them in an IKEA Dröna box when they are dry. Incl. the clips.
It may not look neat but it's simple and I think that's important. Especially since no one sees my socks but me and the cuffs don't get damaged and I'm like Rachel Friend: I hate doing the laundry.
spot on! Excellent video in voicing what I think are real ways to look at and use her method. I had to get past her Shinto teachings by thanking God for my house and praying over the items I donated, but learning her mindset was the starting point for me.
Totally agree on the point about decluttering with kids. And would add that having a chronic illness has a similar impact. I've had to accept that, as with most things in my life, my journey to being fully decluttered will take longer.
I'd also argue that Marie Kondo is closer to being an 'Essentialist' as opposed to a 'Minimalist'.
I absolutely agree! I often hear from my followers with disabilities and chronic illnesses that they have to set different goals and expectations for themselves - thanks for sharing. ❤️
Oh sing it sister!
I dont like to speak about my chronic pain issues, because I always accept it as my daily challenge to overcome. However! K L, your comment hit home and so yes, I will share. I have had to roll back (way back) my expectations for success in decluttering. My former self is high energy and able to divide and conquer.. now I have to plan my activity into smaller time slots because I cant stand on my feet as long, etc..
So I might suggest getting some physical help, a friend, or family to assist when you want to attack projects. 2. Also do more precise planning of what boxes, or zones of your house you want to conquer that day. For me, emptying ONE box to never deal with again (such as papers or a junk box) is a big woo hoo! And you must woo hoo yourself!! Be good to yourself ( I tend to be a work horse) by some little treat, like watching a movie with a nice snack you like, resting after your conquest! 3. Give yourself flexible long term deadlines, but more solid short term deadlines. Like empty 4 file drawers by end of 2 week, but make yourself stick to 1 per day with plenty of room to schedule those..
So good luck all!
I have a chronic illness but have been a minimalist for over 5 years now. My illness is one of the many reasons I became minimalist.
When I have read England english books....the use of the word "joy" reads more like satisfaction...while American use of joy is more in the happiness ....the Kondo makes more sense in the satisfaction usage.
No way is Kon Mari a minimalist. TOO many things can " spark joy!" It's a ridiculous idea!
Yes slowly decluttering is the only way to go. I set aside 15 minutes to work on decluttering everyday. Some days I don't get to it and some days I do a little more. But the plan is 15 minutes a day. It's amazing what you can accomplish in 15 minutes.
Kondo's books changed my mindset about letting go of items I did not care about. It was impossible until it finally sunk in. I continue to re-read her books to refresh. It was painful at first but her support and ideas resonates with me. I still declutter. Her books are the only ones that worked for me. We each have to find our own way so it works for us.
You had the same type of thoughts I had about the Konmari method. I agree with you on so many points. Spark joy? When it came to clothes I didn't really like any of the ones I owned because I'm overweight and nothing 'sparks joy'. What I learned is to keep what I actually wear and feel comfortable in then donate what I don't wear, or don't feel comfortable in. Then to buy only quality clothing made of natural fibers that I'm certain I'll wear. Since Covid I have not been shopping for clothing yet, so I'm still wearing whatever I have. Also ALL the things that Spark Joy may not necessarily mean you should keep them. I've gifted to my children some of the most beautiful handmade pottery that I simply didn't use. They're now using those items. That sparks joy! Another example which is a funny story, I kept 2 items from my high school boyfriend. He gave them to me when he was overseas during the Vietnam war. We were no longer dating but he still cared about me. Fast forward 40 years and he found me (after both of our divorces) and we've been dating again for almost 11 years (I'm 69). He was surprised that I'd kept and displayed those items all these years. But my daughter was totally shocked that he was the man who gave them to me! But no matter what, the Konmari method changed my life and how I thought about what I owned. I've been on a quest since I first read the book. I didn't think I was looking for minimalism until I started realizing I had things just because I'd always had them. Of course I wanted them at some point, but for some reason I'd kept them even when they were no longer useful to me. I felt they all had value, so why would I discard them? That's actually the hardest part for me, finding new homes that I feel good about. Lastly my divorce from my second husband turned out devastating to me. I was single for 15 years before I re-met my current boyfriend. But I had bad reminders of him all over my house. Just last week I took the remainder of my 'reminders' to be resold in a second hand shop. I still have a table and chair set in my garage that I plan to sell, but then it's all gone, just like him. So there can be 2 sides to keeping or not keeping special gifts from boyfriends (or husbands). It just goes to show that each person has their own pace and way to do their own decluttering. No one way is the right way for everyone. As a fun side note, my vertical folding now falls over in my drawers too. However I'm decluttering to the point where all my clothes will fit into my closet so I no longer need a dresser. The closet I have now is 5' wide. I used to have 2 closets, 1-12' and 1-8' - a total of 20' of closet space plus 2 dressers which was 8 drawers filled with clothing. I think I'm doing much better with loving all that I own. Thanks for all you videos, You've helped me a lot and I really enjoy them.
A great story (with your current boyfriend).
I'm also sorting out a lot of things that remind me of my ex-husband now that I'm moving to another area, and that arouse bad feelings.
But I won't sort my clothes by size because I want to lose weight again.
I tried Marie's folding but didn't keep it up for long. I prefer to hang up T-shirts with space-saving hangers on which I can hang several T-shirts and then simply fold them together. But I roll leggings and then put them in boxes.
I agree. Decluttering has been an every weekend thing for me recently. I work Monday through Friday and have a husband and a young one. I am 27 weeks pregnant also. So far, so good with the decluttering. Definitely inspired by you and many more along the process.
Hi from Australia! I wait in anticipation for your next videos every week. So exciting!!! Hope you have an amazing week 💗
Thanks and glad to have you here! 🤗
I love youtube and all the videos I can find where other wonderful people like yourself share their experience. Life is a journey and we can’t go it alone. ❤
Marissa, you're helping me soooo much in my major decluttering! Coming from an abusive home and being completely independent since I was 19, I definitely have alot of hoarding tendencies, both emotional/sentimental and just in case. I brought so much stuff the midwest to NYC when I moved out, but now I'm moving to London this year and have to get rid of so much. Basically a similar journey to yours!! The sentimental box has helped me keep some things I don't want to get rid of but keep it to a small amount. Still working on the clothes and other things, but I've made so much progress thanks to your videos!! Always looking forward to your next video, thanks so much!!
Thanks so much for your kind words Kristen, and for being here - wishing you hugs and healing. ❤️🩹
Hi thank you for putting this video together! I started KM in 2015 struggling with early motherhood, bad marriage, then pregnancy, divorce, child with health treatment ongoing for years ... Still trying to KM .... Lololololol.... KM and Minimalism are very similar from the angle is that keeping only what you find joyful(or emotional) and what is needful.
Just I think minimalism adds a layer of review ... A lens ... To again look at what is truly important to you.
I decluttered my clothes to the point that I got rid of my dresser! I hang my tops and my 3 pairs of jeggings. I don't worry about vertical folding my 3 nightgowns (I can find them just fine in a stacking drawer system in my closet lol!) My ONE nod to Marie Kondo is I do roll my undies and have them contained in a 50 cents Dollar Tree plastic tray in the same drawer with my jammies....and my socks lol!
Boy oh boy did it ever feel GOOD to eliminate my dresser! One less thing to dust!
About the vertical folding method, I found out a different version that prevents the clothing item from unfold. I don't remember where I got it from but it works for me no matter the container or the item.. When you fold the item you insert one end into the other. I even pack my suitcass that way!. My point is, take the ideas as a starting point and make your own twist.
Hello,
I'm a mother of 4 children (20to11), I'm 41. We are strange minimalist because, we have lots of books, games and colors in our home, but still a clutter free home.
Because everybody grows, because our life changes a little, we have to make a declutter in school books and papers, in chikdren's clothes and in their art's stuffs. And with them, it's more difficult, 😅 because I can't do that for them, I have to wait for their holidays, happpily in 2 weeks.😹 And the cleaning spring will be done.
Thanks for your video, kiss from south of France
My child was grown and gone before I started decluttering so I can’t comment about kid’s stuff. My journey started 14 years ago when I moved across the country. I got rid of carloads of stuff, both before and after moving. I continued paring down for several years because my house told me it wanted to be empty! Then I read The Life-changing Magic book and immediately began purging with a purpose. I did Marie Kondo’s whole program in about a week, and I stopped buying stuff. I’ve done two or three more big purges and many minor ones because I start questioning WHY I saved certain things, then I let them go. In seven years I’ve bought very little. I consider myself a minimalist with simple needs, and I get simpler all the time. It is how I define myself now. I’m not sure when it will end. Sometimes I fear I’m erasing myself. I just feel happier and more at peace with less stuff and more empty space. Yet I look around at my home, which I love, and see I still have everything I need. And then I see more that I can purge!
Like you, Marie Kondo was just a stepping stone and a catalyst for my journey from decluttered to minimal. I realized her approach seemed to me like a Japanese schoolgirl, sorting her Hello Kitty toys. I was ready for more. Much more.
I discovered decluttering after 7 children. I'm an ex bin buyer, organizer, clutter shuffler. It was really hard with kids! Life is calmer and its been a 5 year journey. Yes five years!!! You'd be surprised at how much stuff comes in your home. And with a large family, everyone feels like you are a donation center. Its hard to say no to kindness and that's one of big hurdles I had to get over.
I had 3 children, and after they each bought their own house, I loaded up the back of my pickup with all the stuff they had stored at my house, and delivered it to them so didn’t need to bother trying to fit in their own cars (that’s sarcasm, just get it out of my place. I’m not your storage facility.)
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I still need bins to hold the things I need.
The “spark joy” doesn’t work for every item. I mean, my toilet plunger doesn’t spark joy but I need to have it. And I agree that some people find joy in everything and have a hard time getting rid of things.
Guess it could spark joy if you bought a really cool one 😜 🤣
I've been a part of a decluttering group for the last year, and a couple questions they encourage you to ask yourself are first "If I needed this item, where would I look first?" Even if it's not where that item classically "belongs," in your home and space, if that's where you think of first, that's where it goes. And if you can't answer that question, you then ask yourself "If I needed this item at some hypothetical time in the future, would it even occur to me that I even have one? Or would I likely go buy a new one anyways?" If you'd likely forget it existed in your home, then it's probably time to donate or trash that item.
I've even heard that with hoarders that want to keep trash, like empty gum wrappers, you still start with the first question, "If I needed an empty gum wrapper, where would I look first?" Usually it'll help them see that it actually is trash and they don't actually need to keep it.
These kinds of questions force us to look at things more realistically and logically, and make a decision about items now instead of pushing it off to our future selves (that we think will have the perfect answer but we know we'll actually be the same person then😆). If we're only asking ourselves "Does this spark joy? Or do I like/want it?" (which is perfectly fine for some items), we can think of a million reasons we want or like just about everything! 🙋♀️
If you read her books, she addresses this. She says if there’s an item that doesn’t naturally spark joy but must be kept for functional reasons, you should look at it for its usefulness and what it does for you, and keep it/look after it the same way you would something you love.
So many people who criticize Marie Kondo’s philosophy have obviously never read her book. Maybe they’ve seen an episode of her show, often not even that.
@@fernwitchofthedarkcastle Agreed. She does indeed address it in the book.
As a single person with a dog, decluttering is definitely a process, but I am getting there. I am happy you came into my life. Thank you
While I learned a lot from Marie Kondo, I knew that most of my stuff sparked joy and I was having trouble parting with it. What really helped me was learning about Swedish Death cleaning. Taking the time to ask myself if I really wanted my children to be burdened with all my stuff when I passed away. Nope. I am carefully going through my items and making decisions so they don't have to. For the items I am keeping I will write down in a notebook how best for them to dispose of all the things that they don't want.
I am with you on this one! SDC took me so much farther than KonMari. I love her and what she does, it just wasn't enough for me to feel at peace in my home, and for how my children or husband will need to deal with things when I go.
SDC was more an affirmation for me of why and how I was decluttering. My husband and I started because his mother died, and we were the ones tasked with going through her house and donating or discarding everything the rest of the family hadn't claimed. She had cleared out a lot in the 10 years before she died, but even so, her house was overstuffed with lots of things that didn't deserve the space she gave them (three old, cheap, nasty frying pans exactly the same size and in exactly the same bad condition, for example.) We traveled four hours by car (one way) to get to her house, every weekend for a month, and went home exhausted to do it all again the next weekend. We vowed we'd get our stuff sorted through so that no one had to do that for us when we're gone. SDC affirmed for us that there are other people who agree with us that it's too much work to dump on your loved ones, and what Marie Kondo did was give us one of many techniques to use to accomplish our goals. I used dozens of different techniques - each had a little something to teach me about how to move forward.
Totally agree👍.. I was minimalist all my life... Until marriage and had kids😭. Then there was so much.. And my now ex husband holds on to everything... Once we separated and he moved out Jan 2017...it took me the first year and a half to just separate all my husband and my stuff after 17yrs together.. But I did realize I didn't have as much as I thought! Between, kids, work, activities and illness etc it was slow... After I had packed all his stuff (90 boxes).. 50 of which he still needs to pick up.. But we are still in the divorce process .. So I haven't pushed.. Then I spent another 1.5 years sorting and decluttering my and my kids stuff.. I did several sweeps of the house in this time.. Especially with sentiment.. Each time I went back to it I could declutter more. I haven't decluttering for about 2 years.. Just maintained.. But I hope to do another declutter this autumn.
I loved being minimal.. Having kids I struggle with stuff.. But I am not forcing them to be minimal.. Just coaxing them to declutter and organize... So it becomes routine for them.
Not a mom yet, but I was a child when my mom introduced decluttering to me and my sister. I was about 8 and one of those kids who was "mature for my age." I think getting the kids involved with decluttering is excellent, especially since my mom led with the message of blessing someone else. That bit and letting me think about another kid who isn't as fortunate as I was playing with and appreciating some of my toys which I no longer played with as much helped me to think more about the things I wanted as I grew older.
After my 3rd child was born I tried the Konmari method for decluttering and got extremely overwhelmed. I love Dana K. White's method of decluttering without making a mess. It's the only way that works for me unless I am only doing a single drawer or shelf.
I need to check that out, because I can't concentrate long enough to get my whole closet done if I have to take out all of my stuff at once. The pile on my bed would make me overwhelmed and I would not know where to start. Thank you for that tipp.
My hubby and I also did the KonMari method and it WORKED for my clothing and somewhat for my books. Then I got bogged down with all the miscellany. I found Dana K. White from the Minimal Mom video about how to deal with an overwhelming space. My hubby was stunned by how tidy our home looked after I decluttered a small space, when in the past it would have looked like a tornado went through for a week or more. Now we're doing the Take Your House Back course. It is helping.
Dani is the best!!!!! All other methods are just too much for me but decluttering as I live my life is just what I needed....also, Dana isnt a minimalist and neither am I😊
So true for the first point! Almost everything I have can spark joy and comes to stand still
You are absolutely right. For me minimalism is a journey, not a goal. I try to find my real me by asking myself: Do I really want this item in my life? Do I want to take care of it? (Space, cleaning). I'm getting happier and happier by finding myself under the stuff! ❤️
I like the points you make in the video. I think it is easy to keep small keepsake items like cards, letters, coins, jewelry, small toys, etc. Decluttering for me is getting rid of bulky or heavy things; and finding good-looking useful storage (furniture) for whatever to arrange I want to keep, so I know where it is and how to find it when I need it. For each item I think: 1) is it a keepsake?; 2) does it have good energy?; 3) do we use it or need it? 4) are we going to regret one day if we got rid of it? 5) how much space does it take, or how heavy is it? And maybe other questions. When tidying up, I start with categorizing everything - in drawers, bins, boxes, etc. and then going through each category separately to get rid of big things, doubles, or things that bring me bad energy/feelings from the past. So, I guess "sparks joy" works for me. Everyone is different, I am kind of superstitious, so I don't like old things (like from garage sales), bulky plastic colorful things, and cheaply-made things. It's better for me to have less of something, but better quality. I also tried to implement feng shui and classic Montessori in my house (the old principles, not the modern toys and activities they have) - these 2 help a lot with living a better, simple, quality life. I am not a complete minimalist, but I've always had boundaries and having too may things has always made me frustrated, angry, and distracted. I totally agree with kids is more difficult. After my second one, I am still trying to put my belongings in order, and it's still in process. Also, I think first before we buy something new, and if we get it - the old one needs to go. I donate and recycle. Some things can be burned. I try not to fill the landfills.
i'm a Professional Organizer and LOVE to finally hear someone question come of Marie Kondo's premises. I agree that 'sparking joy' does NOT cover all the reasons for purging or letting go of items that people have held onto for years. Another thing that I think is wrong and even difficult is the folding of the clothes. I got all of my clients to ditch their drawers and chests and trunks... and to hang everything. Why? Because you can categorize and see everything you have all at one time. No running back and forth to drawers and stacks of items and then running back to hanging clothes. Think of it: all short-sleeved t-shirts hung together (color coded no less!). All camis hanging together. All short-sleeved blouses and long sleeve blouses..... all together, color coded and hanging above your 'bottoms that are all together and color coded! PLUS, no wrinkles! When people put ALL of their like items together, beside each other, and color code them, they can see where they have too many black turtlenecks, or white camis with lace. It's hard to keep track of this when items are in different locations. Give it a try. Hang up everything: categorize all like items and then color code them, and you will see where you are short on some items, and have an unecesary abundance of other items. Also, hanging tops and blazers and sweaters (their are gentle ways of hanging them) ABOVE pants, shorts and skirts let's you see at a glance what can go with what and spurs ideas for styling outfits.
As for kids, it is fast and easy to take broken toys and puzzles and games with missing pieces and stick them in a box. Take ANY kid's item and stick them in a box or plastic bag and store them in the back of a closet or in the garage. No one missing it? Then, after a month, donate it, or ditch it. So much for the 6 month fallacy! And, instead of telling yourself that it is going to take 6 months (OMG!, how overwhelming and depressing!), take ONE, I will repeat ONE item of kid's stuff that you know without doubt can go and put it in the bottom of the trash. DONE! What did that take? 30 seconds? Do it every day, or every other day, and on days with more time, grab several handfuls and just PURGE them from your space. Old, grubby toys, broken, torn or stained items just need to go to make room for fresh ideas and inspiration.
Rather than 'sparking joy' (which I agree is nebulous as an answer on whether to keep something or not) I used to ask my clients, (and had them ask themselves) the most important question of all: DO i NEED IT AND USE IT? Is there a perfect accessory that completes the look of a room and you LOVE the look of it? Keep it. Are there 3 dozen accessories that are just sprinkled around and just look messy rather than complimenting a room? Put them in a box and after a month, pitch/donate them once you find you don't miss them. This works with clothes or anything else you are hesitating about whether to keep. If you don't IMMEDIATELY clutch it to your breast and NEED it... then box it up for a while and see whether you claw your way back into the box in the next month to retrieve that item. It's actually amazing what we can live WITHOUT! Try it for a month. Don't remember items that are in the box? Just ditch the box without opening it ever again... and move on.
When my twins were young, I would have one at a time take all their toys to the living room and sort by type. Then for each type they would separate into 3 categories
where there was the I love and would not want to loose pile, the I am uncertain pile and the I no longer want pile. Looking over the I am not sure pile I would ask them to pick their top 5 in the pile and we would then donate the others with the no longer want. We ended up doing this once every 6 months. This was well before organizing was popular. We would put back their room and it was very satisfying for them. I believe I started this when they were 3.
I’ve rolled shirts into drawers for years. I think I learned the idea from an HGTV organizing show. I appreciated much of MK’s suggestions. I’m not a fan of emptying a room and piling up things to go through them. My daughter does that and then loses steam part way through. She leaves her piles all over the place and still doesn’t address the room she’s trying to clean.
I had a similar experience.... Konmari was an excellent starting point for me. I was able to let go of a lot of things guilt-free and surround myself with meaningful things I love. Later, i took it a step further towards minimalism and let go of a ton more.
I love using vertical folding for my t-shirts, but it does get annoying when there are a few in the wash & they start to fall over lol. But that's a neat idea to use the vertical storage for other things like storage containers and memory box contents! I'm going to have to try that!
When my kids were home (and we were homeschooling) it was really difficult to declutter. After they graduated, it became much easier to declutter!
I am team Marie Kondo because so many people have decluttered because of her and I love that. I agree with you on the “sparks joy” comment because everything sparked joy for me at one point. In a previous video of yours, you mentioned how your husband keeps a lot of socks because of his childhood. I just wanted to thank you for sharing that with me. I just donated 7 garbage bags of clothes and I burst into tears on the way home because when I was a child and we didn’t have a lot of money, I only had a certain amount of clothes and I was bullied because of it. I didn’t realize my issue with clothes ran SO DEEP until I made the connection to your husband. I still have too many socks but I’m working on it 😅
I’m not saying everyone has to like the Marie Kondo method, but I wish people would actually read her books before critiquing. For example, the “only have 30 books” thing is an oversimplified myth. She also doesn’t expect things like dustbins, toilet brushes and other life essentials to spark joy automatically. She advocates looking at essential items for the purpose they serve and treating them with the care of a beloved item. There’s many more examples. Again, I don’t expect everyone to like Konmari, but it’s frustrating reading sooo many misconceptions over and over again, that could be so easily clarified by reading her books.
I roped my husband into watching an episode of Tidying Up with me and his comment was that if he had to purge every article of clothing that didn't 'spark joy' he'd have almost no clothes left. Which raised an interesting point. Sometimes you need things that you are completely indifferent to.
Yes, my soup ladle does not spark joy, it is plain and functional and it’s something I need to own. The end.
She literally addresses that. Too bad you didn’t read it
I think though that that says more about how your husband buys clothes.
Yes, my chicken yard shoes , which stay on the porch, don’t spark joy, yet I’m thankful for them. “Sparking joy” is a strange terminology for we Americans, but I can’t think of a more suitable cultural exchange.
I agree with the spark joy method because the stuff we own emit their own energy which is transmitted into the space and into our lives. The subconscious mind can process a lot of our belongings. Probably getting rid of stuff from an ex lover subconsciously means u are ready to invite a new relationship in your life. Stuff that gave us a bad experience using, or that reminds us of a bad phase/moment could probably still have the negative energy emitting from them. If an item is useful to us and makes life easy it also does spark joy even if it is ugly. The same goes for a beautiful shirt that makes u feel uncomfortable,that probably gives u a heavy heart just looking at the shirt and how u cant work it. Just my thoughts.
OK .. I absolutely agree with the exes point you mentioned!!! Finally someone said it..!!! My ex bf gave me a photo frame which is shaped like a cat and I love cats, it was definitely a thoughtful gift and I still like it and still use it.. And on the other hand the same ex had given me a small vase which I didn't really like because it wasn't my taste I got rid of it (donated) after we broke up ... And I wanted to add one more thing... Decluttering is a process and for most people it is a slow process especially at the start and esp for those who are emotional hoarders or have depression or anxiety ... When I broke up with this particular ex (my first bf😢) I didn't delete and instead kept all the msgs that he had sent me... Mostly they were abusive Msgs... And I kept them for almost 1 year after the break up ... I had to keep those to remind me why I needed to leave him and not go back like all the previous times.. And when finally I moved on... I deleted our conversation..
Im 41 and single and i have not kept anything from exes and im delighted. I think its a great way to close the door to that chapter. They were the wrong people in my life and i dont need reminders of bad people
Something struggle with regarding the KonMari method is that it’s *NOT* disability friendly. Pulling out all items in one category and putting it in one place? Not putting stuff back before you finish discarding? Unable to use a good portion of storage space because of inaccessibility? The sheer amount of stuff that isn’t “joyful” but vital to staying healthy, the medical hardware that is depressingly stark and bleak… various cleaning and organizing methods that don’t include the perspective of disabled people and our needs is nothing new. It’s still disheartening to be on the edge of this “life-changing” lifestyle and know there are serious obstacles.
This is such a valuable insight! As someone who worked in a hospital closely with PTs and OTs I know how important things like energy conservation and mobility/ access planning are and having the proper devices! Thank you for sharing this. ❤️
But Mari Kondo absolutely advises to keep things that may not "joyful" immediately, but will "spark misery" when you *don't* have them at hand, because you will need them? Which would of course include *each and every* medical hardware no matter how bleak. To say otherwise is completely missing what she did say and in all honesty totally misrepresenting her ideas. (And yeah... I believe some things absolutely should be critiziced, but this is missing the point.
Also, I think a lot of the things mentioned are misconceptions because of how much is lost to translation. There is literally no real concept or wording in the English language that really does say what the author is trying to say with that "spark". It's not about joy! But still that's all that English speaking readers will attribute to it.
You have to keep in mind that Mari Kondo's book and method are deeply, *deeply* shinto. It is not about clearing out garbage or a cool trendy new "lifestyle", but how to have a deeply religious ceremony to celebrate the energy of the souls of all things you own and let the chi flow freely.
Really, there are a bunch of misconceptions. "I don't understand you, because I only read a translation... - therefore *you* must be wrong!"
@@elektra121 I have read the book, thank you very much-in print, in audio, and the manga, and the fact that MUCH of her teaching is inaccessible remains a fact. Pulling out everything in one category and leaving it out until you finish discarding is *dangerous* for people with mobility aids. The fact that a lot of inbuilt storage is inaccessible to people in wheelchairs or who have other mobility impairments is also a fact. I adore MK’s philosophy, but that doesn’t change the fact that her method requires a great deal of reworking from a disabled POV. (I’ve read all three of her books, and own the first two in audio as well.) I would say it is YOU who is ignorant of of the daily challenges of a disabled individual striving for an independent life…and perhaps you should humbly seek out knowledge instead of passing judgement on a way of life and the difficulties you know absolutely nothing about.
@@elektra121 you are very condescending in this comment. You're not helping anyone understand Marie's work, you're just putting someone down and assuming that they're uninformed because they have a different opinion. If you find it fulfilling to put strangers down online, I suggest therapy.
I agree. The process itself is incredibly demanding energy- and attention-wise. It's tough with ADHD to make myself do it, although having less stuff and more organized spaces is indeed very helpful.
Thank you very much for this video! I agree with you. The Konmari-Method was for me a starting point as well, but I also went further during the last years. - I look forward to your videos every week! Have a blessed week!
Like you, Marie Kondo started me on my journey to minimalism so I’ll be forever grateful. I realized pretty quickly though, her methods weren’t for me. I switched to Dana K White and The Minimal Mom. First of all, a spatula, no matter how cute, does not spark joy for me. Neither does a toilet plunger but I need to have one! As far as kids go, I am retired but my guest room is used by my grandchildren when they have sleepovers and coming to Grandma’s house means they can have stuffed animals, blown up balloons, lots of dress up clothes etc in “their” room. I’m much happier this way because they will grow up and have fond memories of spending time at my house than if I “Marie Kondoed” their space. As for pulling everything out, that just created more mess and chaos. Dana K White has a wonderful “no mess” system for decluttering. Lastly, the folding of clothes: I use bins only. No drawers. Pardon my language, but I half-ass fold things. I now have a manageable amount of things so there’s no real big mess. Thank you for sharing!!
I'm glad I found this video. I'm a (slowly) recovering hoarder but my goal is to become a minimalist because I'm sick of clutter and stuff and want to make life easier as I also have chronic pain and depression and all the stuff doesn't help. I like Marie Kondo but don't agree with her method 100%, and I find it hard when I love most things I own. I appreciate this video and I am definitely going to check out more!
An ACA. Your lucky your father knew he had a problem. There’s a lot of people that won’t try to get help. You should be proud. I like that you told this story. It’s something that isn’t talked about. Going to an Alanon meeting this afternoon.
Hi, Melissa, thanks for your comment and wishing you the best! ❤️
We have been actively decluttering for 13 months now. We have 2 kids and we moved in the midst of it. We live so much more minimally now, but I still feel like I want to do more.
I used the Marie Kondo method and loved it. Grouping like items, seeing the way over abundance of varying quality of items, and picking the very few things that sparked joy changed my buying and storing habits. Changing my buying and storing habits is what really changed my home. Then I decided to go more minimalistic and removed items that sparked joy but I knew I would never display or purposely seek out just to look at. I had decluttered a little at a time for decades. It wasn’t until the KonMari method that I had a mind shift and now my house stays decluttered. My house is pretty much always visitor ready now. Note: Grandkids playroom is in the finished basement so I don’t have a toy issue that most families would have.
I definitely find it harder to find the TIME to declutter with kids, BUT I actually find it easier to let go of things we don't need now with kids than I did before without kids. Less space now and easier to discern what is adding value and what isn't. 🥰
I think I’m rewatching this again, but you showed a snippet picture of your mom and I just wanted to say she was beautiful and you look just like her
I have 5 kids and homeschooling mom, with a small business from home, started decluttering just before giving birth to our fifth 8 months ago and I am NOT even close to decluttering even HALF of our home. It has been an emotional rollercoaster. Wanting to get rid of things but CANNOT because I am emotionally attached to so many things, however, I am a registered PROFESSIONAL ORGANIZER... I slipped into depression and moved around quite a bit and now I'm trying to pick up the pieces. I haven't given up tho...one day at a time...get rid of things every week. Thank you for this video, I needed to be reminded of a lot
I need to get into minimalism! I have stuffitis! And an Amazon addiction I need to break! I also have 5 kids with 4 still at home. Plus a tiny house. I used to constantly clean, organize, reorganize, and get rid of things. But with age I developed lupus & RA. I lost all that energy I had and I gained a lot of pain. My mistake was I sat down. I should have kept moving. Now I’m battling getting moving and motivated again. My house is a cluttered disaster! With my ocd and adhd I want it perfect! But also if it’s too much to do and I get overwhelmed I give up and walk away! Being type A personality with adhd is super hard! When I start anything I think it has to be stripped to bare bones, completely cleaned top to bottom, redone if needed, then everything kept needs to be cleaned throughly before anything can be put back. I actually create more work for myself by wanting perfection. It makes me crazy! Then my adhd tells me to look away and pretend it’s not there. Procrastinate! But my ocd wants to complete that to do list and get even more done each day. I used to be able to keep up with the ocd. But I can’t anymore and I get depressed when I can’t. I’m definitely a work in progress!
absolutely love this video. I love her method, but I also love that you have a different take on it (and the courage to put out your own style of video :] ) and aren't putting her methods down or speaking negatively;; you're just speaking on your own ways that work for you, and can help other people that have gone through trauma to know its ok to hold on to certain things, regardless if they don't make use feel utter joy. I will forever hold onto my dads AA chip because he maintained over 30 years of sobriety, without a single slip up. Regardless of the pain of the past, it's a reminder too of strength and courage. Life isn't perfect, life is messy, and to expect 100% positivity at all times is toxic. I love your video. Would be so cool to see her come to your 'side of the road' and mesh both your styles together for video. And for any negative comments..... Yes I had the time today. I'm doing laundry right now and trying to declutter my mind with UA-cam videos 😂
Totally agree that decluttering is challenging with kids! So much more stuff and many other people (read kids) feelings to consider and kids needs to be involved if their older and if younger, challenging to work with lol. The process is doable but totally agree, takes time!
I couldn't agree with this video more! I too fall more on the side of Marie Kondo. I'm pro Marie just because she comes from such a postive and beautiful mindset. But in all honesty and reality, life is sooooooooo much more complex than just the idea of "spark joy." There is a weight and complexity that comes with our stuff and the memories that are atteched to human beings. It's so weighty you know. But I can take pieces from her method and glean the pearls of wisdom. Oh and yes- I find that decluttering is definitely harder with children. I find myself keeping items because of the what ifs - i.e. play clothes, and toys. And then for me, holding onto clothing items they wore when they were little or artwork made by their little hands is super hard to filter through and narrow down. It's hard to let go! Great topic.
This is true, I didn’t get better until I asked what more can I take away or what can I subtract.
I totally agree with the kids comment. I used to try-before I heard of the MariKondo method- to help my kids declutter their rooms and help make decisions. Whenever I tried to explain the process (even if I did it in a positive helpful way) my son fought with me for hours. By the time dinner time came around, I was exhausted and frazzled. Let alone, just the day to day living.
Anyway, another flaw I have found with "spark joy" rule is mental illness. When I am in a really depressed or anxious place, nothing brings joy.
For the most part, I love Marie and her influence on the world. Instead of focusing on just getting rid of stuff and feel shame and disgust for having stuff and mess. I absolutely love the idea of giving thanks to the things that you purge. It helps me let go and have peace emotionally.
I read the whole comment section looking to see if someone said what you said about depression/anxiety. I have been wondering about this for months.
Indeed, one size doesn't fit all. We're smart enough to customised the guru's method to our individual need. Regarding point (2), try using a slim bookend either upright or sideway to "herd" the folded clothings together.
You really have great insight into her method. THanks for being honest.
This was quite helpful. I’m extremely sentimental, too. We had a house fire 20 years ago when my children were small. We lost everything, including our cat. We lost heirlooms, all with family stories behind them, photographs of beloved family members long dead, the children’s favorite stuffed toys, all named, that they carried with them constantly.
Losing the cat upset us the most. He’d ridden in the truck with us in a cross country move as a kitten. Seeing the kids traumatized was horrible. Now the children are adults, two are away. They’re not particularly sentimental about things.
We’re planning to downsize, retire and move across country. I have 19 years of accumulation from a family of five and various pets. I’m going to start with items we care nothing about. I’ll save the sentimental for the last. Try to reduce it to a not too large box. My husband can coach me through that.
I think Marie Kondo's method is really great for people who have maybe started decluttering a little or haven't decluttered but know they need to and just need some guidance and a push in the right direction. "Spark joy" was a helpful guideline for me when I tried it, and it helped me part with things I had held onto and resisted decluttering for years. I did have to break down the categories into smaller ones in order to make the process manageable with young kids and a busy schedule, and my progress stopped once I hit komono. However, her method had by that point helped me strengthen my decluttering muscles enough that I was able to eventually finish decluttering my entire home with other criteria besides spark joy. It really does work!
Marie Kondo made her book to help hoarders to clean up open space and keep only things which fit to the drawer. And the way she is folding is not for minimalistic wardrobe but fitting so many items as possible to the small space. She was surprised by her self that people thought her book was having to do with minimalism in the beginning but accepted it very soon and changed her target audience: people wanting to catch minimalistic lifestyle bought it. Sparkling joy is idea which work with hoarders but not with minimalistic lifestyle as the guide line is more like "Keep things you need".
Marissa, I love your Videos! Sooo thankful about your thoughts!!
You are great!
I love this video-- I love your fresh perspective, how you are not afraid to be vulnerable and I think that you are very inspirational! I believe that everything you have set out to do and be this year will not only benefit you and your family but also your online family! You are so easy to watch and so easy to love!XXOO
I totally agree. Kids have so much stuff regardless of how we minimize it especially when they start going to school. They tend to keep every paper that they bring home.
I love the points you made in this video. As far as deciding what to keep and what to get rid of with the Kon Marie method I think the overall idea is that you don’t always need to keep an ‘item’ in order to keep the ‘memory’ that item invokes. So when you were mentioning about your dads AA coin, (just to use that as an example) you don’t necessarily need to keep the physical coin in your life in order to remember the lessons you learnt about life during that time. If that makes sense. Or the stuff from your ex’s you don’t necessarily need actual items to remember that time in your life. But of course if these items bring you joy by having them in your life then definitely keep them. But you don’t always necessarily need an ‘item’ to remember a ‘memory’. That’s my take on the Kon Marie method anyway. But I loved your thoughts on the whole thing and will be following along with you as I declutter my house (again) over the coming months.
I agree with you that Marie Kondoing with children can be difficult but not impossible!!!
I don’t agree with “Does it spark joy”
I’ve gotten rid of many things that “spark joy”. Just because I like something doesn’t mean I NEED it.
Thanks for the video.
Oooh, good one!
And it could also mean that the only things allowed to stay after decluttering could be the dog, the bed, the coffee maker and a big mug (bye bye family) ... Honestly, I also got rid of lots of stuff that sparked joy, just because otherwise nearly everything would have stayed...
YES!!!! My life changed when I read somewhere that just because I like something or I think it's beautiful, doesn't mean I have to own it! It's fine to just admire it in the store and leave it there.
Instead of asking if it sparks joy, I ask myself how upset I’d be if it got a nasty stain, and would it be worth the time and effort to try to save it. For some reason, I was able to get rid of a lot more things that way. 😊
@@mtheron100 hahahahah, kind of like when you see a mighty fine looking man on the street. hahahah, He sparks joy, but if ya married , no can do !!!. So I just be like "God, that is one mighty fine creation you made there ". Admire, spark joy, but don't have or keep ! heheheheheh
When I've used Mari Kondo's method I've put my own little spin on it. I keep things that spark joy BUT I mainly keep my collections of limits and, if I'm not sure about something, I "sleep on it," though often for too long.
I watch videos like yours in utter amazement! Happy that it works so well for you, but I simply cannot understand how anyone wants to live in a stripped down , bare , empty space for the sake of "having less"
👍🏼 Great points. There are many contributing factors to positive decluttering. 🍀
I ALWAYS get rid of stuff associated with relationships I no longer connect with. There is ENERGY in those things, and I don't want that kind of energy around me. As soon as the relationship is done, out goes all of the stuff from him. I agree with Mari on this one.
And yeah. I'm 65 now; at one point there were three kids living with me; I can't imagine trying to live a minimalist life (realistically) with three kids, husband, job, meals, cleaning, yard work.
I started simplifying my household in the '90s when the "simple" trend first started. I've collected/purged/collected/purged frequently since then. To me, minimalism is one way to really get to know myself better. When you strip everything down to "THIS is what I REALLY love and use and value," you see who you are.
While I didn't get validation on my book collection, this video was such an encouragement! I would love to have a very focused time of decluttering this year, but this was a good reminder to also embrace the parts of life that can't stop - because if decluttering in itself becomes a source of stress, we've sort of missed the point, haven't we? 😆
Yeah, i cant stand her position on books. I have two shelf cases of books, and all of them get used at least once every 5 years, and many are expensive reference and/or valuable hardcover or even heirlooms. None are easily replaced with digital editions.
@@AliciaGuitar her position on that would be to keep the books that bring you value and joy.
‘Most definitely more difficult with kids! I run a daycare in my home (😣) and I am trying to do some EXTREME decluttering. I have fallen back on some of your tips on what the best toys are for kids and I have been able to let many toys go.
I looked up this video because I struggle with depression and sometimes I hit these walls she talks about wanting to quit. Marie emphasizes that it's not necessarily about decluttering, but about sparking joy and keeping only that which fills you with good vibes. Joy is something that I feel like is so commonly misunderstood and as a result hard to come into contact with, in our experience. I've noticed with my time using her method, joy arises only when I'm present with what I'm doing. I think this is why she suggests piling each category in one heap like a robot without much thought or feeling and then when it's time to say yes, we switch on our joy-nominator. However, to make that switch may take some time because we're not all in tune with our bodies and intuition. So, as long as we use rational thought or fear of change, we will go nowhere fast. Then again depression pull me back to the negative and then I can lose my sense of joy so all that would usually spark joy, doesn't anymore.. I think there is an end in sight, and it comes down to one thing. Can you give yourself permission to live in joy when anything to do with fear kills it and we cannot live without fear, perhaps, we just fear, less and that's the answer. Let things go even though we're scared of losing them. And this beautiful thing happens when we let go.... Nothing bad ever happens.. also has anyone experienced hectic detox in your body from this process? Also you might be able to relate Melissa, I used to called myself a minimalist but this method challenged my identification with being a minimalist and for the better because I would get rid of things purely because I thought I could do without it but since discovering the konmari method, the most enlightening thing to awaken to was that i was missing out on the joy factor, it's okay to have a lot of stuff, in the end it really doesn't matter.. What matters is how you feel and how you make others feel.. okay peace out, sorry if this is a long one, I've been tucked away for a little while not talking to people lol
Sorry NO NOT O.K. TO HAVE A LOT OF STUFF! When my mother died it was " hell on earth" donating, selling, throwing out, giving away to be able to sell her condo.
One word " SWEDISH DEATH DECLUTTERING" on u tube and xfinity.
@rachaelhartful I also struggle with depression (plus ADHD and physical issues) and have found having multiple encouraging voices helpful when I have the urge to quit. If you like A to Zen you might find the Minimal Mom and Clutterbug inspiring too. Their focus on the BENEFITS of clutter clearing gives me hope and motivates me (increased peace and calm, how much easier it gets to maintain a clean house...). Best wishes to you! ❤
P.S. It's really helped me keep going to use the Onion Method of decluttering EASIER stuff first + brief sessions with a timer + Temptation Bundling during and/or after with something I enjoy (podcast, music, TV, etc.).
Taking Before and After photos and looking at the image instead of the stuff also weirdly helps me "see" what can go more easily.
Once I noticed how much better I feel just from taking some action that also helped me more motivation to keep going (even doing 3 minutes with the timer, or finding 3 things to let go of).
Wishing you well!
🌈🌱🌿💐☘❤
The only place the Konmari way of folding works is my husbands t-shirt drawer. It has never been more neat. :)
Minimalism gives me cold chills. I constantly go through my stuff to weed out stuff (so I have room for new things). However I do not have any trauma related to hoarding. Spark joy works perfect for me, as does the folding method. It works beautifully. BTW Marie has kids. Also I just gave my home a decluttering deep clean in 2 months.
My house would probably give you palpitations lol
@@Campfire30 I know-she features them in a lot of her videos! It’s like some of her critics haven’t watched any of her videos or read her books 😒
For #2, if the drawer is deep enough, you can use a bookend (I found a couple cheap metal ones at DT a while back) in the back of vertically-stored clothing, & each time you remove an item, just push the bookend forward. But half of my chest of drawers is cupboard-style, so I use a bin for one side but have to stack clothing on the other side.
She's right that one type of storage solution does not fit all situations.
Interesting solution! 🤔 The depth of our cabinet might been an issue. They have hinges that go back far, because we upcycled a leftover kitchen cabinet!