I think what started my hoarding tendencies, was my parents who are minimalist constantly throwing my stuff out without telling me, or sometimes they would give my stuff away to other people without even asking me. This made me have a panic feeling every time I try to get rid of things and I have to fight the feeling all the time, so please don’t give away your kids stuff, especially those important toys unless they are ready to tell you to give them away. You may cause them problems on the future. Thanks for listening.
hmm yeh my boyfrined was told as a kid "if you dont clean up the floor its going in the trash " ..... his mum was serious. he lost a bunch of toys . He is a bit of a hoarder now . I was saying "oh i only have like 2 teddys from when i was a kid . thats it " he says " oh im so sad I have nothing it was thrown out " ..... it wasnt ALL thrown out, but clearly the event affected him . TBH i understand the mum , my mum struggled to get my brothers to do anything and when she actually did something she said she would do 50x they were shocked (i.e if you dont stop bickering in 5mins I will lock away the playstation for a week lol
The logic we use with our kids is: if it's no longer age appropriate, we donate it (like baby toys, our youngest is 4), some things we don't ask because they haven't played with them, asked for them or when given the opportunity they never choose them, donated, finally for things we're not sure we ask them and keep them if they say they want them, even if they don't really play with them, there will be a time when they'll say they don't want them, we guess 😉 Teddy bears are a whole other business. They've been so loved that even though they're not their favourites anymore we keep them. Donating them without knowing if they'll be equally loved doesn't allow me to. Call it Toy Story Guilt 😂
That’s terrible, I’m so sorry they did that to you. I’m somewhere on the minimalist scale and a mother, but to me it’s SO important that my kid’s on board. I never throw out her stuff without permission (unless it’s literal trash). I’ve made it a routine to go through her toys once every six months or so, but WITH her. I hold the items up one by one, and she tells me if she wants to keep it or donate it. Always told her she can keep anything she likes, but also taught her that in order to have space for new favourite things we need to get rid of the excess stuff we don’t love. I’ve ingrained in her that less clutter means less things to tidy up. Now, at the age of six, she loves order and asks me to help declutter her toys every three months or so, and even comes to me for organisational tips. I hope deeply that she’ll never feel like she wasn’t allowed to decide over her own things.
@@Ravenousyouth I did that with my oldest son because he refused to lift a finger and his room was literally dangerous. The first time, he had junk a foot deep on the floor; he tripped and got a fishing hook in his finger, necessitating a trip to the doctor. The second time, we were moving to another apartment. He was 16 and again refused to pick up or pack his stuff and it was just him and me. I literally took a shovel and put it all in garbage bags except for clothes.
@@edennis8578 but why does he do this? You see, it must be a reason why someone wants to be so much around things. He might need therapy to overcome his problems. Clutter outside reflects clutter inside. He surely has something he has to work through. And please, please, be kind to your son. Kindness and compassion opens doors and makes it so much easier to let go and change. Whereas negativity only breeds negatively. Your son needs help. Someone who kindly takes his hand and help him overcome his problems.
@@653j521 why are you using the word "disposing"? I understand this comment as an idea of self-care: getting away from people that are not good for you.
Not always... It's more about living intentionally for me. If I'm not going to use it, it goes out! Blessing someone else. Or upcycling, repurposing (be careful here😂), recycling, or trash as a last resort. We will still always have stuff, but I don't have to be over stuffed, if you catch my drift.
@@Lisawhatshersname Yes. The thing is, sometimes it's hard to tell what's gonna be useful in the future and what's not. When I got rid of most of my stuff, later I had to buy a lot of them again as I simply needed them. (For example special tools.) I thought I could go with a laptop and some cloths, but I still need my printer, my scanner, speakers for enjoyment, my lifting weights for exercise and a lot more that I use often, and even rarely but at least I won't have to buy it, then sell it and just keep losing money every time i need it.
Great video!! Keeping this👇as a screenshot for future reference! 😌 1. Starting with unrealistic expectations 2. Focusing on quantity over quality 3. Following “expert” advice verbatim 4. No vision or plan 5. Doing too much vs. too little 6. Starting with high-level difficulty 7. Making too many excuses 8. Re-homing clutter too slowly 9. Items with no home 10. Not changing your clutter habits
That echo would drive me crazy. Marissa needs to buy a rug or two. I started my decent into minimalism or minimalistic lifestyle after losing my sister, a daughter in-law and my oldest son all within a year, then my mom passed away at the age of 93 2 years later. I have had to help sort through decades of things , items, that meant a lot to them but now I have to sort , sell, donate etc. it opened my eyes to the fact I have one child left to carry on after we pass away, I don’t want him and his wife to have to spends weeks of stress going through our things. So, now that I am 70, I am decluttering and donating items he won’t want. (I ask before chunking it.) I am doing it for him❤️
Mrs Morgan, you hit home with your comment. I am so sorry for your losses. I am 38 and our family lost my mother in law and going through her stuff (so much stuff) has made me realize, I need to stop buying things and accumulating (hoarding) things.
Am I the only person who is still coming back to this video two years later because the advice is just that good?! I can't even express to you Marissa, just how much you have changed my life with sharing the example of how your family lives! Thank you thank you thank you!
Before I started decluttering in 2015, the very first thing I did was go on a buying moratorium. I went a year of not buying anything except food, meds, and dire necessities. Then I started decluttering each drawer, cabinet, closet in my home. I repeated that every year until 2021 when I built a new home and had to store my stuff since my home sold before my new home was finished. Now I'm moved in and unpacking, and I'm doing more decluttering as it comes out of the box. I'm finding homes for everything, and I'm limiting the inventory to the space available. I still don't buy anything other than necessities. The year moratorium cured me of buying.
I did a similar thing once for 9 months. During that time, I would buy no new clothing or shoes for myself. It may not sound like much but at the time this was a big deal for me. I used to love to go thrifting and get a "good deal" on these things but it was beginning to pile up. The end date for this period of time came and passed without me even noticing, which was a lesson just by itself.
It took us two days over Easter just to declutter our attic. Then yesterday it took the whole day for my hubby to do his office stuff. My plan is to make cleaning easier and living easier as everything will have a home.
I really enjoy this advice. I don't think that minimalism is really my thing - there are too many items that make me really happy, that I use frequently. Especially in wardrobe; I'm alternative, and love to have a wide variety of options to create new and creative looks with. Dressing over-the-top makes me happy - so a minimalist wardrobe doesn't really work for me, and I don't have a desire for it to. But decluttering regularly - every few months to a year - is really important to me, because I want to make sure that even if I have many items, they ALL make me happy and serve me well. Like with my clothing - I've lost 20kg (44lbs) and am still losing, and previously my response would have been, "None of my clothes fit me anymore. Time to go shopping and buy a new wardrobe!" But now I'm reaching the point where my response is learning how to tailor clothes so that I can take them with me into a smaller size, because they're irreplaceable to me and make me so happy.
That's what minimalism is about, only having thing things you use and enjoy. it is not about a number, it is is about conscientious shopping. Sounds loke you've hit your sweet spot!
The worst thing about it ? When you live with someone who is hoarder and refuses to change themselves and their hoarding literally starts to affect your life too
I'm learning to let my husband be who he wants to be and respect who I am meant to be. I set clear and respectful boundaries and I express directly when something he does crosses a boundary. Yes, I expect him to respect me as I desire to respect him. If he doesn't like it, he knows our relationship will suffer. I used to be such a people pleaser, and miserable. Now I have learned to respect myself enough to be who I was meant to be and not allow others to trample that
Some spouses admit to hoarding and agree to obtain the spouse’s permission before bringing items home that are not obviously useful at the current time.
Motion Ambience Perhaps therapy might help...? For each of you? And it can be a medical issue, such as depression, dementia, or a side effect of chemotherapy. It isn't necessarily an intractable problem. I know advice columnists always say counseling and a check up but there is sense in that.
I would never declutter my books. I already decluttered and only kept my 25% of my favorites when I moved. I used to have three bookcases that reached to The ceiling. Now I have one mini bookshelf for my favorites.
You have my admiration! Books have always been my weakness. I decluttered them for the 3rd time a few months back, and still i have 4 fullsize bookshelves, full. I don't even read that much anymore since i got my "smart phone". *SIGH* How did you do it?
@@thatswhatisaid8908 I would have kept them if I could. I was wanting the freedom to move. I had a friend who took them off my hands. It was nice to see someone so excited for my collection that I hadn't had room or time for anyways.
@@thatswhatisaid8908 What I do is this: I read them again and if I think I will want to read them again sometime because I liked it, I keep it. If not, I give them away.
@@janesworld3910 sigh. That has been my plan. I decluttered them back in January, thinking i would give myself a year to read/reread one bookcase. Guess how many of those books i have read? NONE! I blame this smartphone. And You Tube. 😉
I had 2 bookcases of children's chapter books that I decluttered. I gave most of them to my local Catholic elementary school for the teacher's classroom libraries. I kept the picture books, hopefully my adult children will have grandchildren who will enjoy them. If not, in 5 years these too will visit a school.
I want to declutter to (1) make my house easier to clean; (2) rid myself of the invisible “to do” list in my head (i.e., “I really need to tackle that basement storage room” 😳); (3) eliminate stress for our next (hopefully final) move! I have already been through the whole house, and could do more - but my closet, my kitchen, my bathroom, our storage room - SO much better than before! But I see things creeping in. Then I start a box for donations, start putting this and that in there, and get back on track. If I buy a couple pairs of new shoes, I go into my closet and choose a pair or two or three to get rid of. If I buy new towels, the old towels need to GO! I was always keeping everything, thinking I “may need it some day.” But who needs to keep 3 garbage bags of old bath towels for future use?? Nobody, that’s who! Take them to your local animal shelter and move on 😁
I needed this, i was stuck in a rut, thinking about having to declutter my books, i really like them and i love for example big bookshelf, i love houses with book shelf, like a living room with two big bookshelves full of books, i don't see why i can't have that estethic thing, only cause i decided i can't have that much books they are not even part of the clutter, i read them and never touch them again, they're there to look good, it's going to be like that, Thank you and sorry fot the english
As soon as my kids were old enough, age 4-5, I had them participating in the "getting rid of old toys so that we can make room for other things we like" process. We usually did this shortly before Christmas. I would select a container, usually a laundry basket, and encourage them to fill it up with toys they were "too big for or that weren't much fun anymore"so that other children could have them. We would talk about each of their choices. This also helped them to learn about giving to others. On the infrequent occasions when I consigned their used toys instead of donating them, then I would let them use the proceeds to pick out/buy other things. This showed them the positive side of making room for new things. We NEVER had a meltdown over getting rid of old toys, because they were doing it instead of me.
Books. I would never get rid of my favourite books. I do declutter books I don't like but the others bring me happiness and I enjoy looking at them😊 also great video, thank you!
Thank you for letting me be me, there is so much pressure out there to get rid of all my stuff. My family are minimalists and I love my collections and my books and my family can’t stand it. I do want to get rid of some of my stuff especially the kids toys they don’t play with. I have this need to give my good quality stuff to please who will appreciate them. I know this is weird but I love my stuff and I don’t want them to go in the trash, I feel like this is wasteful. So you are right, there is so much guilt. Thank you for making me aware of the guilt, this helps.
I want less stress in my home! I’m tired of having to move stuff from room to room. I just want it gone. My mom was a hoarder and when she got sick and it was time to move her and my dad in with us, guess who got to go through all that STUFF?! Me! And I don’t want that for my girls. I want to only have things that we love and use. Really enjoying your videos. Thank you for the encouragement!
We are having a very difficult time recovering from years of depression mess, just below hoarding and with children in the mix. Like pushing a boulder up a hill most days. We also live in a shared house with my MIL who brings in so much stuff "for her antique booth"... in quotes because most of it ends up sitting around for a long time. It's so hard when you don't have control over your surroundings but really want to take more than just the first step. Thankfully my husband is finally on board after I forced us to minimize our dishes (boy was that area out of control!) and now he sees and I'm hopeful that we can make progress this year together. Thank you for your tips and the empowering community you have gathered. **The one thing/category I wouldn't declutter is my art and old sketch books. Organize, yes, decluttter, no. I do go through the supplies almost annually just to see what is no good or dried up, but other than that even the old sketch books bring bits of inspiration and encouragement as to how far I've come as an artist.
Thanks for the vid! I started my minimalist journey (mainly trying to get rid of clothing) in February and I really thought I couldn’t get rid of anything at first because I thought I loved everything. Then I started becoming more cautious of what I actually wear and like to wear. I take 20 minutes a day once a week now to go through more clothes. I ask myself if I see myself wearing it and also if there was something that I didn’t feel comfortable in that I wore during the week I will get rid of also. I want to be comfortable in my clothes and feel confident when I wear them. Nothing too short or tight
My idea is to start with high-volume items (boxes of yarn I'll never knit), big books, which make a visible difference once they're gone, then move on to smaller stuff.
PS You and Dawn, the minimal mom, changed how I live just not what I live with. Less is not just more-Joshua Becker-it is peace in my brain. I am letting go of fantasy self-I am close to maintenance of my decluttered miminal world and now doing mostly daily maintenance declutters! Love the “in” “out” principle and do about 1:5 in out ratio! Lots of ❤️Jenean the “balanced behaviorist” (I am a board certified behavior analyst and also teacher-i work with children with apraxia/autism!)
I could never declutter my father's favorite books, or mine... I think your choice in books says a lot about who you are, and if makes me feel like he's still close ❤️
Wonderful video. Are you a teacher? Your explanations are so clear. It's so very logical. (The guilt complex is so REAL). Thank you for your organized presentation!
I started decluttering because every time I moved I ended up with a bunch of stuff I didn't want and was a hassle to move lol. Trying to avoid that in the future. I once got rid of so much stuff I actually paid people just to take it away and I didn't have the energy to sell/donate it. Worth it.
10:04 I can't tell you how much I absolutely love these little ADHD type moments. It helps to keep the video feeling real and relatable. I love that you don't edit them out and you let us see that glimpse of real life!
Nice video! I can’t declutter any art project my kids made for me. There’s even a potholder with an art print that’s very faded looking and I still can’t declutter it.
I am so happy I came across this video! I am moving from a large house to a (still quite large) apartment and want to declutter. I was getting anxious and sad about having to give up so much to make the decluttering a success until I saw your video. Thank you!
I can't tell you enough how blessed I am to have found your channel. I keep writing a long post and then deleting but the gist of it is that I've lost both of my parents at a young age and they both had hoarding/addiction issues. Not substance abuse, but my mom was a compulsive shopper and that's how we spent time together. I am still going through her things almost 3 years later and allowing myself to get rid of some of the clothes I was given as gifts that don't fit/don't make me happy. I set aside space in my closet last year and moved a lot of clothes into a sell pile that never got listed. After starting to watch your channel and using my boss's favorite phrase 'just do it', I have gotten halfway through that pile this month with a really great sell rate. I also took a hard HARD look at the clothes I chose to keep. That still don't fit. Have tags on them. Never worn. I tried to be very honest with myself. Removed another 50+ tops alone. Removed another 10 pairs of shoes and added to the 2.5 storage containers full of shoes I already culled down. Another 5 handbags. I moved on from MK, Coach and Kate Spade to Louis Vuitton which I started to carry all the time... but now I am up to about 7-8 in that collection and was about to compulsively buy another + a gucci bag that I have been wanting for a few months. I justified the LVs because many were decades old and still in great condition. I reminded myself that I've been doing a great job of choosing what to let go and that this is going to add to my closet and also to my debt. I want to declutter so I can have visual and financial breathing room. Instead, where would that money be better used? So I didn't buy them and am choosing to spend what I would on less than one bag making small changes like painting my bathroom and kitchen which will help me enjoy my space more. My sister and I are trying to do any shopping we feel compulsed to do on just one day out of the weekend. The other is for helping each other re-organize/clean/declutter/sell. And when we do go out, we are being better about analyzing the cart before check out and most things get put back. I bought bath bombs which are one use items , a candle (another consumable), and a candle holder. This upcoming weekend we are going to analyze her closet. Your tips are so simple to implement and you're such an amazing coach about everything. There was a set of ugly orange dishes my mom brought with her when she moved in with me that I was finally able to get rid of because of what you said about things no longer serving me or making me happy can be honored for the memories they did give me and can be passed along to help create memories for someone else. That has really resonated with me and made it easier to part with some things. But I waited until it felt right (and I found a beautiful set of blush stoneware dishes that DID make me happy) So I appreciate you saying in this video that some things will not feel right getting rid of at the time even when you are honest with yourself about every other aspect and logically it makes no sense to keep. Just thank you. You are in my head coaching me through this journey. I see immediate results and it is changing my thought process/behaviors. I don't think I will get to your level of minimalism and I appreciate that you reinforce we are all different and this is not a one size fits all. I am having such a positive journey, though not without a few tears lol.
I read every word of this and I am so proud of you! Especially the part about the orange dishes. Cheering you on from Germany 🇩🇪 and THANK YOU for the sweet message. I’ve never dared to call myself a “coach” before but I kinda like hearing it from you. 🤗 Hugs.
Love these tips! Especially finding the balance between doing too much at a time or doing too little. Too little doesn't give me something to see or point to as what I accomplished, and boy oh boy, does too much feel like I'm drowning! Using many of these, and making my checklist as I work through my plan. Thanks!
I watched a few videos yesterday, and this is the first one that I've shown my husband. Thanks so much for making such thoughtful and balanced content. Really useful stuff, thanks!
I will not declutter my CD’s. They are not top 40. They are unusual artists and lesser known groups so I won’t be able to rebuy them or purchase a copy online. My personal guide is “worst thing first.” This means the biggest thing that’s bothering me or tripping me or most visually obvious - goes first. This has be helpful in getting large space cleared quickly. The cost of having either donations or junk picked up has gotten really expensive here, so sadly, more things will go into the trash unless they are really worth the trouble of giving away. We try just leaving something out with a free sign for a day or two, and if it gets left, we “bin it.”
The other issue with donations to charity shops and their ilk is how much ACTUALLY is sold in the shop. Last year I gave SEVERAL LARGE bagfuls of clothing and miscellaneous items. They were in some cases unused and therefore practically pristine condition. The rest were in no worse a state than other people's stuff that was already out on sale. However when I got the Gift Aid letter informing me of the money raised, the amount quoted was FAR LESS than I expected (particularly in view of the surprisingly high prices charged in the shop). Earlier this week, I had a similar letter concerning the 300 books I gave to another shop. Again they were in either near pristine or "as new" condition (I handle even paperbacks carefully, NEVER write in the pages, fold the pages or crease the spine). Certainly in a better state of preservation than much of the other merchandise next to it. Yet again the amount raised from sales was far, far smaller than could be reasonably expected. After these experiences, it is clear that most of my donations did not go near the shop floor, most likely diverted by the staff for themselves. Either that or they were sold but a lot of the proceeds were put towards "admin" or "expenses" (ie. management salaries). I am not completely surprised by this, but it is still annoying. The intended recipients (the animals) do not the full benefit of my donations, what is the point in bothering?
@@jackiehamilton2738 It depends on the goals of the charity. Goodwill employs people who need jobs so they have to get paid. I don't know if Hospice shops have any paid employees, but they do have expenses as all shops do. If the place is nonprofit that is different from a thrift store. You can look online and you can ask for information on where the money goes. It is of course up to them what to give you and what to charge. Normally, that would be based on what competitors are doing, according to supply and demand. If they have excess donations beyond what they can sell or fit in the space, they will deal with the extras in various ways, depending on what channels are open to them. Accusing them of impropriety without evidence doesn't help you or anyone else. Maybe you should volunteer and see how a shop operates.
Thoroughly enjoyed the video Marissa. And it got me to thinking about many more steps I can take to declutter even more. Thank you for a very well presented video!!
You are great! Thank you. It’s really about managing and being oneself - call it Minimalist. I call it Tolerance of how much Material I can handle. Some need a Home stuffed - I like it pretty designed. My kids learn: everything needs maintenance. Get as much as you can handle. Collect what you like - be yourself.
Another mistake: don't declutter other people's stuff, even your partner AND kids. It's easy to get back things from the "rehoming" pile if it sits there too long (happens to everybody), but as it was said somebody might misunderstand it as you rehomed toys without asking your kids about it.
Also if you declutter for them you are not giving them the tools to learn how to do it yourself. My Mum would make stuff “disappear” which was upsetting and then as a teen I just kept everything because it was sentimental to me. It’s been a long process of decluttering and looking at different organising and decluttering systems before It really clicked for me. The KonMari philosophy of only keeping it if it is relevant to your life going forward really helped change my mindset as well as only keeping my top tier items. I’ve past this knowledge on to my daughter and she seems to have an easier time decluttering than I did which I hope will help her going forward.
I was a “minimalist” way before UA-cam was born, and now I just rolled my eyes at these “I own 5/47 items” video. Like what?! How is this practical or even become a trend? For me my number one mistake for the last 20 years was throwing away toooo much. If it’s an item that I have not touch/use for 3 months it better get out of my house (excluding 4 season clothes), but then later I would need it and have to spend the money to buy it again 🙄 I buy base one how often am I gonna use it, how much space it gonna take up, and how long it take to care for that item. Is this a new trend for me? Watching your video after 1am ...❤️ oh I would NeVER throw away my books. I read for free at library and if I buy a book that mean it become a lifetime treasure.
Hahaha I think I probably didn’t scare you this time like the last one? What time zone are you in btw? I agree, going by numbers isn’t really helpful or healthy BUT I will say people looooove to click those videos, so the UA-cam algorithm seems to promote them more. That’s my conspiracy theory of the day - thanks for watching and sharing your story. 📚
Hang Nguyen We shouldn't throw away books. Donate books. I give mine to the library next door. They keep any they want and put the rest in a "take me" pile. There are also book drives where they collect books for distribution. There are lots of people who would love to have your free books but can't afford to buy them. The only exception is a super popular book, especially one that didn't live up to the hype, where they end up with too many copies to rehome. Certainly keep yours but nobody should assume the alternative is throwing books away. :)
This was so helpful. I am moving across country and was moving too slowly to release things. Thank you for helping me look at some things I was doing to slow myself down.
This is the first video I watched from your channel and I agree with every point you made. I am still on my journey to minimalism and the more time goes by and I use stuff up or I sell things I no longer need or switch to more natural and waste-free packaging items, I am happier because I have less. I feel overwhelmed with the amount of things I have and maybe it's because I live in a very small room (I mean US closet room - I live in the UK) that it makes me feel like I have a lot but I also see that I am not using everything and regardless of the size of the room, I'd still like to have less. You have a very intelligent and wise aura in you, hope you keep this up!
Home size can make a big difference! Marie Kondo’s book talks about how average homes in Tokyo are something like 7 tatami mats wide, which I think ends up being about 7‘ x 7‘ for the whole living space! When you live in an extra small space, it makes it extra challenging...wishing you lots of luck!
Great tips Marissa, I certainly DO LOVE my books and will do my best to keep them. 😆 I'm NOT a complete minimalist but I surely do love decluttering and not have too many things around.
Something I have decluttered but still have "too much of" according to a FB decluttering group. Towels and linen. I have exactly the amount I need but unlike a lot of people I have no dryer and it gets very wet and cold here in the winter. It takes several days to get a single load of washing dried in the winter and all it takes is one round of gastro and we are absolutely screwed if we don't have enough spare sheets, blankets and towels. There is no realistic way I could follow the two sets for each bed and two towels per person rule without disaster but so many people criticize because they don't understand that other people face different challenges
I am in the process of decluttering and I’m enjoying it. Two pieces of big furniture that really weren’t working for me went out and no regrets. Records that I don’t use anymore are going out. You can stream any number of ways and again no regrets. As far as the closet, lots of clothes have gone out and again no regrets. I took down lots of pictures off the walls which I was iffy about (taste change). Every time I walked in the apartment I felt I couldn’t breathe. Have left some key family pictures in pretty frames but the rest are in albums. Again, no regrets. So much easier to maintain but the one thing I will never get rid of so you guys don’t think my methods are 100%, are books. I know I never will. I still love the feel of a book in my hand and even when read, I mark them with a checkmark but refuse to get rid of them and there again -no regrets. Marissa is right - it’s a long, long process but one worth taking.
Thanks for your vulnerability in sharing how emotion decluttering can be. I've been on a 5 year journey of simplifying. Now entering minimalism, I'm really emotional letting go of baby items and transitioning from nursery to big boy room.
Minimalism helped us during this transition, I know it’s soooo emotional! FYI, baby stuff was one of the best things to sell if you are decluttering - for example, I sold the PIECES of the Pack N Play for the same cost as a brand new one. Good luck! 🍀
Tackle one zone at a time start to finish 💝 we were forced into this by a 2019 flood. It became our true incentive to design a functional room & install tile
I collect Nutcrackers and have a good amount. Every Christmas I get a Nutcracker and I have some expensive ones too. This is something that I honestly do not see myself getting rid of ever. I love them and they bring me a lot of joy. They are out all year long so I can enjoy them
I have to say I really like your youtube pause because I get to find older videos like this one, that I haven’t seen before 🤩 Of course I want you to return with new videos but you rakning a break have been an opportunity to watch through old videos and that’s nice too!
Going back and watching your videos. I probably will never be a minimalist but decluttering is still a great thing to do. My house is a disaster right now with piles to donate, throw and organize. But that is OK, I am getting there. The one thing I will not get rid of is my yarn. I am organizing it better so I can grab what I need when I need it.
I’m so glad a found you! My name is Marisa (pronounced ma-ree-sa)💕and I’ve been an emotional hoarder, your ideas are helping me let go of the items that hold emotions\memories that seem to not really serve me any longer. Feels good to unpack and visit with them once again... then let them go. I value the memories but I value the storage and freedom decluttering promotes. Thank you for sharing your understanding, positivity, and realistic expectations!
For people like me who like the notes before the details. #1 Don't Start with unrealistic expectations #2 Don't focus on quantity, focus on quality (Keep items that add value & make you happy) #3 Don't follow expert advice verbatim #4 Don't start decluttering with no plan or vision #5 Don't do too much or too little at once #6 Don't start with difficult things (start with things you're excited to get rid off) #7 Don't make excuses to keep an item. (ignore guilt) - "Just because something made you happy in the past, doesn't mean you need to keep it forever." #8 Don't re-home the clutter too slowly #9 Don't have "homeless" stuff. Everything needs a designated place. #10 Don't keep bad cluttering habits (without changing the habits that made the clutter to begin with, you'll find yourself back where you started.)
I like my books, my winter/fall sweaters as winter is 9 months long at least in Maritimes, like the 5 page checklist idea, I like your common sense ideas...Thanks Marissa
Hi Marissa. I just found you and I'm so glad. Our house is packed with crap you can hardly walk around. This will help me a lot......stay away from Amazon. OMG we have tons of Amazon boxes everywhere that we don't have time to open. The only thing I can think of now that I refuse to donate, sell, throw out would be my fairy collection I love them. I did start cancelling magazine subscriptions because I have magazines backed up from years ago and I'm not going to live long enough to read them all. We have to start on the deal with the mail right away thing....we have a huge box of mail in the back bedroom and now the living room pile is growing. We have a hot mess lol.
@@bexsh3207 No, it wasn't a question at all. It was a bad attempt to tell them that in your opinion, you think they are carrying baggage holding on to their items. No need to fake it under a false question. Your personal rule book doesn't apply here. Something that seems baggage to you is not to someone else.
Other than family photos and Keepsakes, I won’t get rid of home decor. I like shopping my home and changing things up with the Seasons. But even with that, I told myself if you buy a new, item you must get rid of one item.
Really sad to see so many negative comments on the echo. Are people's ears THAT sensitive that they really couldn't watch the entire video or needed to say things like she "should" buy some carpets? Wow...how about focusing on all the great advice given? Everyone's a critic, geeze 😖 And I'll take an echo over a hoarded, cluttered home anytime. Thank you so much for sharing your minimalist journey 👍 I thought I couldn't part with my book collection, but I think I'm going to take the plunge over winter break
My late brothers records are something I’ll hold on to. I still love the music and my grandkids get to enjoy them know. Books are so hard to let go of. But I have resold many many boxes.
My goal is to make room for the things I value, the most. Then, I want to be able to remember where everything is. By decluttering, I feel that I'll have more space to think, too. I think it's important to have harmonious flow in your space in order to live a happy life. Often times, I create these blockages for myself with stuff. Sometimes, after I have an emotional breakthrough/revelation what will follow is physical purging. It's absolutely amazing. When I let go, emotionally, I can let go, physically.
I spent years constantly decluttering and never feeling better or like it helped. Then I realised I wasn't thinking about my need of a thing emotionally or physically. I watched a ton of videos but like you said I adapted to me. Now I'm well on my way and still learning. I don't like hearing it will take time but thats actually the reality 😕 🙃 I have decluttered books BUT will never completely go with out bookshelves full.
Thanks for a great video! I thought I'd share a bit of my decluttering journey, if you don't mind. I was never a hoarder, but I was a messie, which in my case was just as bad. My tiny flat constantly looked like a tornado had hit it. I literally had pathways carved through the clutter! I never had anyone over because I was ashamed and overwhelmed, and couldn't get up the energy to clean up anything. About 15 years ago I finally decided I wanted to reclaim my flat and be able to have guests over again. I asked my church for help, and a group of young people came over on a Saturday and sorted and cleaned all day for free. They also took several car loads of things to my nearest donation centre, or to the recycling centre if the things couldn't be donated. I'll never forget their kindness! That kickstarted a process that I've kept up since then. To keep myself from falling back into my old patterns, I hired a cleaning company to come weekly. Knowing that someone would be coming in regularly forced me to stay organised and keep the floors clear so they could clean properly. It also took a load off my mind, knowing I could leave the heavy cleaning to someone else. Then I began decluttering once or twice a year, usually around my birthday in the spring and just before Thanksgiving in the autumn. Everything I haven't used in the past 6 months or so gets donated or tossed out. In rare cases I may upcycle something, for example a large bicycle mirror that I was able to mount in my bathroom so that I can now see the back of my head and still have both hands free to dry my hair 😊. During the pandemic I had to cancel the cleaning company and couldn't have anyone over. My donation centres closed up during lockdowns, so my organisation got a bit wonky again, unfortunately. However, as soon as I could, I hired a private cleaning lady who also does other small jobs like cutting my hair. That saves me a ton of money! I just finished my first big declutter of 2022. This one took longer because I wanted to donate as much as possible for the Ukrainian refugees. I've learned over the years that decluttering and learning to live with less is a lifelong process. It gets easier with time, and it's a fun journey as I free up space in my flat and my life, while helping other people through my donations as well. But it's never a one-and-done thing. There's always room for improvement, and for being more mindful of what I allow into my home and my life. This is a long post, but I hope my story might help someone who feels overwhelmed with the thought of getting organised, just like I did. Help is out there, and there's no need to be ashamed to ask for it. Have a wonderful day! I'll close with one of my favourite Gandhi quotes: "Live simply, so that others may simply live." 😊
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me! It shows people that it is truly possible to change, and to maintain that change. Cheers and take care! ❤️
I have a tip for reducing gift clutter from friends and family. For a couple of years I've been asking everyone, instead of giving me a physical gift, to do something to serve someone else, and just let me know what that was, and send a picture if possible. Over the years, friends have sown and knitted for charity, made care packages for ill or elderly people, baked cakes for neighbours, babysat couple's kids to give them time for date nights, donated to good causes, and so much more. I save every picture and note they send and put them in my journal. That is so much more special than getting more stuff! It's a win-win-win situation because they get the joy of giving to others, the others benefit from it, and I get blessed when I hear about it (and have less clutter to boot). As your kids get older, that could be a way to teach them about being socially conscious and reaching out to others. Just be sure to reward them for their generosity in some tangible way while they're young, so they feel important too, and not left out. That could be something as simple as gold stars, a special meal, a back yard game of their choice, or whatever. (For example, my grade 3 teacher used to give simple filing cards with gold stars and "Good Person Award" written on them. I saved mine for decades.) Once they're teenagers, they may not need that as much, as the intrinsic value of the deed becomes its own reward. Feel free to share this in a video if you like! Edit: These can be great teaching times too. If a friend gives to a charity in their name, for example, help your kids learn about the charity and who they help, and give them a chance to get involved themselves if they like.
U nailed it! I have been decluttering forever. My problem is my husband is not so into it. He doesnt have personal things but lots of old stuff passed down from relatives which have values. Plus he is not an "organize" freak. So decluttering was (coz it's a lot better now) a huge struggle for me.
Hi,Marrisa and thanks for helping via your channel! I can't get rid of my book, especially children ones,some toys from my childhood and my grandmother's wallet and scarf. She passed away 8 years ago...she was very nice, strong woman with hard life,but I suppose she was most kindly person in my live... Take care of your family and yourself.
I NEED my books… besides some sort of “book festish” I consider myself a scholar, as an artist I draw inspiration from them, they make me feel loved and supported … I consult from time to time, I have my favorite quotes underlined, my favorite illustrations marked with sticky notes and I still in love with reading books printed on paper… BUT this summer I am ready to depart with most of my kid’s books…
I love your channel. It's really insightful. I've always been a neat, tidy person, but in recent years I've had to downsize a house as I moved into a condo. And then I moved my mom in with me so I downsized two homes. The immense guilt I felt choking the landfill brought me to tears. (most of it was my husband's broken band gear). Once I pushed past that I was able to declutter (donate, sell) without guilt or emotion. My goal is to move from Chicago to Berlin where my kids live, so having this goal in the forefront is motivation for me to keep only what I need now that I can easily donate when Im ready to move. I will never ever move overseas with furniture again!! (I did that the first time) :)
How do you deal with your kids books? How do you arrange them and how do you declutter them? Some of them are already to toddlerish for our son but our daughter just starts to enjoy them. And I myself love books and love to read to them. So definitely a sentimental area for me...
I’m so glad that you are not one of the people who wants to get rid of just about everything. I shudder when I see some of those minimalist homes. It looks like they’re either moving in or moving out. I love colour and I like 👍 stuff that makes me happy. No way old I get rid of things just because minimalism has become popular. I really liked your video, you talked a lot of sense. No one wants to feel that clutter is weighing them down and trapping them in an unorganised home. As you said it doesn’t happen overnight.
Great talk! I'm 61 and have lots of medical issues. Your organization plans are perfect teaching tools! When I was a retail manager...I would have hired you!
Not really a mistake, although it does Feel like one.. I'm in the moment decluttering my highly loved antique wardrobe from 1896. I love it, it's been with me for about 15+ years, two apartments, and now I find that it takes up to much space. It's huge, you can't really take it apart when moving and it's beginning to heighten my anxiety level.. So, I had to make the difficult decision to let it go/sell it. Because of this I now have to pile up my clothes, bedlinen and so forth in plastic bags until I find a better solution for storage as my new wardrobe. But, because I am now selling this huge wardrobe I am now able to buy/fit in a larger bed.. It's all about priorities and letting go of a priced and highly loved item so that one may begin on a new journey. Letting go of the past and making space.
@@AtoZenLife Thank you 😇🙏 I find that it's all about the mindset. 😇 I have been through a rough time and I've been exhausted, so this decision was not made lightly to say the least. But, it was the best decision for sure. I have loads of items that's for sale and that's being sold every week (basically) and I find joy in selling them; making money And getting rid of them. But now that I'm on the last items/furnitures that I have had a tougher time deciding what to do with I find it to be harder. The very reason that it's so difficult is because it's the last pieces that I have held dear to me for all these years. Ever since I started collecting antiques. So, I do feel I have changed, and that for the better of it. My need for room and the need for other furniture that would provide me and my now older small dog the comfort we need I had to change. It's all in the mind, the mental bit, changing how one thinks. And that really has changes my way of thinking, for sure. 💗 It's only stuff right, but somehow it's more than that, that's what makes it difficult at times, when making the decisions. I find myself having a harder time now then before, whenever I have to buy something new. I would much rather just declutter some more then to buy something else at this point to be honest haha, much easier 😋😅👍
@@Sapientiam you're right, it's only stuff. Have you ever heard of Swedish death Cleaning? It's something both of my grandmothers basically did in preparation for (going to the hospital) or (going into the nursing home). They had both planned on coming back, of course! But just being around on this planet (one grandma was 99), we can accumulate so much stuff! Even when decluttering on a yearly basis, stuff creeps back in, in our house. 🤷 Blessings!
@@Lisawhatshersname I've heard about it via different vlogs on UA-cam, but I never really read about it so I didn't know what it was about. Took a sneak peak on the web now actually 😇👍. I know I started this way last year 😆😅 and it made me think and led me in a new direction. From being materialistic to becoming more minimalist, to becoming more environmentally friendly and conscious of what objects really meant and what kind of value they had in their use. I'm not done in my process, far from it. However, I see progress that leads me more towards what life is really about. It's been a wake-up call, definitely. One thing is to achieve the pleasure of selling things and making money so that one can save, but I see a great pleasure in only the fact of owning less. I understand very well what you mean and why they did what they did. It is much easier to leave home knowing that they will come home to a tidy and clean home when they return home from the hospital. I have the same feeling myself every day. I'm only at home, every day, but I feel less burdened if I know I have fewer things around me. I stress about the things I know I'm going to sell and have to sell and feel an impatience. On the other hand, I must simultaneously feel the relief and the joy of the things I have actually sold and given away over the last few years. I am a young woman, living alone with my dog and we live in a small apartment. I'm going to renovate the apartment before it's sold, sometime after these crazy times we're in.. and there's a strong motivation to get more things away by that time. I feel an extra strong pressure on this hold as I don't have anyone else to support me, but at the same time maybe such a thing makes one stronger in the future. Let's hope.. hehe 😂🙏 Anyway, I know that I have now found my style in the interior, which is called Japandi. Which is a mix of Scandinavian and Japanese style. A modern minimalist style that's best suited to me. Where everything has a place and everything is in use. 👍💚 Before I had a strong hunger for "coup" and now I feel a strong hunger to get things away. The faster the better 😅Strange how minimalist thinking changes the existence of everyday life. And that for the better. 😇 It's going to be a long journey and I know I've made my mistakes along the way, but at the same time I've learned from them. Today I sold plates with more that I had to many of and now I have only the few I really need. A lot is being replaced and upgraded and I feel a joy at these changes and it was just time to upgrade (big time! Like cutlery, bed and so forth.. You name it😇). 👍👍 The only furniture I'm going to have left is my new bed and new couch and a small table. Besides from that I will have only my essentials.. That is my dream and goal anyways.. 🙏💚🌱🕊️ So you could say I'm well on my way with a "Swedish death cleaning" prosess, that's been going on for about two years time, give or take. 😇💚
Guilty of bagging things up and forgetting them, also getting caught! I have sentimental items like paintings/framed art, furnishings, that I would hate to part with though the furniture leads to a mishmash of styles and I’d be better off getting a huge built in bookcase. Yes I love my books too. It’s HARD!
Jessie C I get it! I used to be a book person too - now I find I don’t have time to read as much. 😂 Maybe when the kids are grown - a built in bookcase was a dream of mine...Or even better, a bookshelf that hides a secret room LOL. 😳
Ahhh I LOVE your editing style!! It’s so fresh and cracks me up when you leave in things like a fly buzzing around you 😂 I’m so guilty of all these mistakes at one point or another. Especially not taking things to the thrift store right away and my kids finding stuff! 🤦♀️😱 I learned that lesson real quick! Even my husband saw some toys I was getting rid of and tried to convince me to keep them... 🙄 No way!! ✋🏻 Thanks for the great content and keeping it real!!
Katie Soderling Ahhhh, that’s SUCH a common thing! 😂 They don’t miss it until they SEE IT, right? Do you know about that fly - one thing about not having air-conditioning is you have to keep the windows open, which means a lot of bugs. I’m just happy it wasn’t a wasp. 😅🐝😳🐝 Thanks for watching! 🙌
My grandma always taught me to "never say never".....but I would say I would never declutter my boats. :) Glad I found this channel, my wife and I are starting our journey of decluttering and trying to figure out a starting point is challenging. I really like the point of not focusing on a quantity of something and instead of how important it is to you. Let the purge begin.
All the mistakes you mentioned totally relatable! I am a minimalist person but after having my own family and kids, it's hard to go back to my minimalism lifestyle, it takes me 3years and still counting. Not to mention, my husband also falls under mistake #8 😂😂
For those of you who LOVE the echoes 👉 ua-cam.com/users/shorts4nvw8cVLyuE?feature=share . Don’t forget to a comment with something you would NEVER declutter!
Hey Marissa, how is your new place? that's so great that you made 1000 dol selling and decluttering, that feels productive huh? to answer your question i think i would not be able to declutter kitchen utensils and spices collection LOL but i'm a minimalist to begin with ;-) i wasn't surprised when you talked about the toys in the trunk and the kids grabbing them, i guess they get attached even though they don't use them all LOL See ya!
@@AlexiaHDIntuition Our new place is WONDERFUL, thanks for asking! I was actually making $1,000 a MONTH, and by the end of our entire extreme decluttering I made -- well -- maybe I need to make a video on that! 😂Keep in mind this was decades of sentimental clutter and stuff, however! I know what you mean about spices -- I have tons because I love to cook! Thanks for watching!
I crochet so I keep those supplies as well as very sentimental homemade items from family over the years. I have given back some items to family after they lost their stuff in a fire. Stuff their mom had made for me, like a quilt and afghan. It meant a lot to them and I still have what my mother made for me. Somethings bring so many memories I cannot part with them.
I think what started my hoarding tendencies, was my parents who are minimalist constantly throwing my stuff out without telling me, or sometimes they would give my stuff away to other people without even asking me. This made me have a panic feeling every time I try to get rid of things and I have to fight the feeling all the time, so please don’t give away your kids stuff, especially those important toys unless they are ready to tell you to give them away. You may cause them problems on the future. Thanks for listening.
hmm yeh my boyfrined was told as a kid "if you dont clean up the floor its going in the trash " ..... his mum was serious. he lost a bunch of toys . He is a bit of a hoarder now . I was saying "oh i only have like 2 teddys from when i was a kid . thats it " he says " oh im so sad I have nothing it was thrown out " ..... it wasnt ALL thrown out, but clearly the event affected him . TBH i understand the mum , my mum struggled to get my brothers to do anything and when she actually did something she said she would do 50x they were shocked (i.e if you dont stop bickering in 5mins I will lock away the playstation for a week lol
The logic we use with our kids is: if it's no longer age appropriate, we donate it (like baby toys, our youngest is 4), some things we don't ask because they haven't played with them, asked for them or when given the opportunity they never choose them, donated, finally for things we're not sure we ask them and keep them if they say they want them, even if they don't really play with them, there will be a time when they'll say they don't want them, we guess 😉
Teddy bears are a whole other business. They've been so loved that even though they're not their favourites anymore we keep them. Donating them without knowing if they'll be equally loved doesn't allow me to. Call it Toy Story Guilt 😂
That’s terrible, I’m so sorry they did that to you. I’m somewhere on the minimalist scale and a mother, but to me it’s SO important that my kid’s on board. I never throw out her stuff without permission (unless it’s literal trash). I’ve made it a routine to go through her toys once every six months or so, but WITH her. I hold the items up one by one, and she tells me if she wants to keep it or donate it. Always told her she can keep anything she likes, but also taught her that in order to have space for new favourite things we need to get rid of the excess stuff we don’t love. I’ve ingrained in her that less clutter means less things to tidy up. Now, at the age of six, she loves order and asks me to help declutter her toys every three months or so, and even comes to me for organisational tips. I hope deeply that she’ll never feel like she wasn’t allowed to decide over her own things.
@@Ravenousyouth I did that with my oldest son because he refused to lift a finger and his room was literally dangerous. The first time, he had junk a foot deep on the floor; he tripped and got a fishing hook in his finger, necessitating a trip to the doctor. The second time, we were moving to another apartment. He was 16 and again refused to pick up or pack his stuff and it was just him and me. I literally took a shovel and put it all in garbage bags except for clothes.
@@edennis8578 but why does he do this? You see, it must be a reason why someone wants to be so much around things. He might need therapy to overcome his problems. Clutter outside reflects clutter inside. He surely has something he has to work through. And please, please, be kind to your son. Kindness and compassion opens doors and makes it so much easier to let go and change. Whereas negativity only breeds negatively. Your son needs help. Someone who kindly takes his hand and help him overcome his problems.
Just because something made you happy in the past, it doesn't mean you need to keep it forever.... That includes many people in your life.
So true.
@@lindablackwood2932 So sad. Disposing of people. Sigh. Ever been disposed? It really hurts.
@@653j521 why are you using the word "disposing"? I understand this comment as an idea of self-care: getting away from people that are not good for you.
Disposing…..if you have ever been discarded by someone you loved and you thought they loved you …then you wouldn’t be so keen on disposing….
@@deantaylor1512 Dude, this isn't the place
Once you hear echo in the recording, you know it's a real minimalist speaking. Great video.
Hahaha, I made a video about this: ua-cam.com/users/shorts4nvw8cVLyuE?feature=share ✨😌✨
@@AtoZenLife lol
Not always... It's more about living intentionally for me. If I'm not going to use it, it goes out! Blessing someone else. Or upcycling, repurposing (be careful here😂), recycling, or trash as a last resort. We will still always have stuff, but I don't have to be over stuffed, if you catch my drift.
@@Lisawhatshersname Yes. The thing is, sometimes it's hard to tell what's gonna be useful in the future and what's not. When I got rid of most of my stuff, later I had to buy a lot of them again as I simply needed them. (For example special tools.) I thought I could go with a laptop and some cloths, but I still need my printer, my scanner, speakers for enjoyment, my lifting weights for exercise and a lot more that I use often, and even rarely but at least I won't have to buy it, then sell it and just keep losing money every time i need it.
Thanks for saying that. I kept checking my phone, wondering how the sound went so awry.
Great video!! Keeping this👇as a screenshot for future reference! 😌
1. Starting with unrealistic expectations
2. Focusing on quantity over quality
3. Following “expert” advice verbatim
4. No vision or plan
5. Doing too much vs. too little
6. Starting with high-level difficulty
7. Making too many excuses
8. Re-homing clutter too slowly
9. Items with no home
10. Not changing your clutter habits
10 Rules for de-cluttering
Thank You!❤❤
perfect! thank you! did a screenshot and am printing this!
That echo would drive me crazy. Marissa needs to buy a rug or two.
I started my decent into minimalism or minimalistic lifestyle after losing my sister, a daughter in-law and my oldest son all within a year, then my mom passed away at the age of 93 2 years later. I have had to help sort through decades of things , items, that meant a lot to them but now I have to sort , sell, donate etc. it opened my eyes to the fact I have one child left to carry on after we pass away, I don’t want him and his wife to have to spends weeks of stress going through our things. So, now that I am 70, I am decluttering and donating items he won’t want. (I ask before chunking it.) I am doing it for him❤️
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💯✅
The same reason I've been decluttering.😁👍👏👏👏👏
I’m so sorry for your losses.
Mrs Morgan, you hit home with your comment. I am so sorry for your losses. I am 38 and our family lost my mother in law and going through her stuff (so much stuff) has made me realize, I need to stop buying things and accumulating (hoarding) things.
Am I the only person who is still coming back to this video two years later because the advice is just that good?! I can't even express to you Marissa, just how much you have changed my life with sharing the example of how your family lives! Thank you thank you thank you!
I’m so happy to have you here, no matter when it is - and you are so very welcome. 🤗
Before I started decluttering in 2015, the very first thing I did was go on a buying moratorium. I went a year of not buying anything except food, meds, and dire necessities. Then I started decluttering each drawer, cabinet, closet in my home. I repeated that every year until 2021 when I built a new home and had to store my stuff since my home sold before my new home was finished. Now I'm moved in and unpacking, and I'm doing more decluttering as it comes out of the box. I'm finding homes for everything, and I'm limiting the inventory to the space available. I still don't buy anything other than necessities. The year moratorium cured me of buying.
Great encouragement
I am so impressed by your story. Wow.
I did a similar thing once for 9 months. During that time, I would buy no new clothing or shoes for myself. It may not sound like much but at the time this was a big deal for me. I used to love to go thrifting and get a "good deal" on these things but it was beginning to pile up. The end date for this period of time came and passed without me even noticing, which was a lesson just by itself.
Yes! Decluttering is a ton of work! Hours!!! Good advice. Expect it to be different than what you see in a video.
So very, very different! It's taken us years to get this far! Thanks for watching, Erica! ❤
It took us two days over Easter just to declutter our attic. Then yesterday it took the whole day for my hubby to do his office stuff. My plan is to make cleaning easier and living easier as everything will have a home.
That’s actually really fast. Congrats well done
Yes this! Cleaning and living will be easier!💗
I really enjoy this advice. I don't think that minimalism is really my thing - there are too many items that make me really happy, that I use frequently. Especially in wardrobe; I'm alternative, and love to have a wide variety of options to create new and creative looks with. Dressing over-the-top makes me happy - so a minimalist wardrobe doesn't really work for me, and I don't have a desire for it to. But decluttering regularly - every few months to a year - is really important to me, because I want to make sure that even if I have many items, they ALL make me happy and serve me well. Like with my clothing - I've lost 20kg (44lbs) and am still losing, and previously my response would have been, "None of my clothes fit me anymore. Time to go shopping and buy a new wardrobe!" But now I'm reaching the point where my response is learning how to tailor clothes so that I can take them with me into a smaller size, because they're irreplaceable to me and make me so happy.
That's what minimalism is about, only having thing things you use and enjoy. it is not about a number, it is is about conscientious shopping. Sounds loke you've hit your sweet spot!
The worst thing about it ? When you live with someone who is hoarder and refuses to change themselves and their hoarding literally starts to affect your life too
Very true
I'm learning to let my husband be who he wants to be and respect who I am meant to be. I set clear and respectful boundaries and I express directly when something he does crosses a boundary.
Yes, I expect him to respect me as I desire to respect him. If he doesn't like it, he knows our relationship will suffer. I used to be such a people pleaser, and miserable. Now I have learned to respect myself enough to be who I was meant to be and not allow others to trample that
Raise 🤚 yup. My husband is a hoarder. He’s soon to be my ex husband.
Some spouses admit to hoarding and agree to obtain the spouse’s permission before bringing items home that are not obviously useful at the current time.
Motion Ambience Perhaps therapy might help...? For each of you? And it can be a medical issue, such as depression, dementia, or a side effect of chemotherapy. It isn't necessarily an intractable problem. I know advice columnists always say counseling and a check up but there is sense in that.
"If you love your books, keep your books." I love you! 😂💖📚 I've parted with a rare few, but books and musical instruments are on my keep list!
MinstrelGirl 451 I could guess the musical instruments part because of your name LOL! Any book in particular?
I would never declutter my books. I already decluttered and only kept my 25% of my favorites when I moved. I used to have three bookcases that reached to The ceiling. Now I have one mini bookshelf for my favorites.
You have my admiration! Books have always been my weakness. I decluttered them for the 3rd time a few months back, and still i have 4 fullsize bookshelves, full. I don't even read that much anymore since i got my "smart phone". *SIGH* How did you do it?
@@thatswhatisaid8908 I would have kept them if I could. I was wanting the freedom to move. I had a friend who took them off my hands. It was nice to see someone so excited for my collection that I hadn't had room or time for anyways.
@@thatswhatisaid8908 What I do is this: I read them again and if I think I will want to read them again sometime because I liked it, I keep it. If not, I give them away.
@@janesworld3910 sigh. That has been my plan. I decluttered them back in January, thinking i would give myself a year to read/reread one bookcase. Guess how many of those books i have read? NONE! I blame this smartphone. And You Tube. 😉
I had 2 bookcases of children's chapter books that I decluttered. I gave most of them to my local Catholic elementary school for the teacher's classroom libraries. I kept the picture books, hopefully my adult children will have grandchildren who will enjoy them. If not, in 5 years these too will visit a school.
I want to declutter to (1) make my house easier to clean; (2) rid myself of the invisible “to do” list in my head (i.e., “I really need to tackle that basement storage room” 😳); (3) eliminate stress for our next (hopefully final) move! I have already been through the whole house, and could do more - but my closet, my kitchen, my bathroom, our storage room - SO much better than before! But I see things creeping in. Then I start a box for donations, start putting this and that in there, and get back on track. If I buy a couple pairs of new shoes, I go into my closet and choose a pair or two or three to get rid of. If I buy new towels, the old towels need to GO! I was always keeping everything, thinking I “may need it some day.” But who needs to keep 3 garbage bags of old bath towels for future use?? Nobody, that’s who! Take them to your local animal shelter and move on 😁
I needed this, i was stuck in a rut, thinking about having to declutter my books, i really like them and i love for example big bookshelf, i love houses with book shelf, like a living room with two big bookshelves full of books, i don't see why i can't have that estethic thing, only cause i decided i can't have that much books they are not even part of the clutter, i read them and never touch them again, they're there to look good, it's going to be like that,
Thank you
and sorry fot the english
As soon as my kids were old enough, age 4-5, I had them participating in the "getting rid of old toys so that we can make room for other things we like" process. We usually did this shortly before Christmas. I would select a container, usually a laundry basket, and encourage them to fill it up with toys they were "too big for or that weren't much fun anymore"so that other children could have them. We would talk about each of their choices. This also helped them to learn about giving to others. On the infrequent occasions when I consigned their used toys instead of donating them, then I would let them use the proceeds to pick out/buy other things. This showed them the positive side of making room for new things. We NEVER had a meltdown over getting rid of old toys, because they were doing it instead of me.
Books. I would never get rid of my favourite books. I do declutter books I don't like but the others bring me happiness and I enjoy looking at them😊 also great video, thank you!
Thank you for letting me be me, there is so much pressure out there to get rid of all my stuff. My family are minimalists and I love my collections and my books and my family can’t stand it. I do want to get rid of some of my stuff especially the kids toys they don’t play with. I have this need to give my good quality stuff to please who will appreciate them. I know this is weird but I love my stuff and I don’t want them to go in the trash, I feel like this is wasteful. So you are right, there is so much guilt. Thank you for making me aware of the guilt, this helps.
Love the Fly Guy! No really, great content-so realistic & helpful
I want less stress in my home! I’m tired of having to move stuff from room to room. I just want it gone.
My mom was a hoarder and when she got sick and it was time to move her and my dad in with us, guess who got to go through all that STUFF?! Me! And I don’t want that for my girls. I want to only have things that we love and use.
Really enjoying your videos. Thank you for the encouragement!
We are having a very difficult time recovering from years of depression mess, just below hoarding and with children in the mix. Like pushing a boulder up a hill most days. We also live in a shared house with my MIL who brings in so much stuff "for her antique booth"... in quotes because most of it ends up sitting around for a long time. It's so hard when you don't have control over your surroundings but really want to take more than just the first step.
Thankfully my husband is finally on board after I forced us to minimize our dishes (boy was that area out of control!) and now he sees and I'm hopeful that we can make progress this year together. Thank you for your tips and the empowering community you have gathered.
**The one thing/category I wouldn't declutter is my art and old sketch books. Organize, yes, decluttter, no. I do go through the supplies almost annually just to see what is no good or dried up, but other than that even the old sketch books bring bits of inspiration and encouragement as to how far I've come as an artist.
Thanks for the vid! I started my minimalist journey (mainly trying to get rid of clothing) in February and I really thought I couldn’t get rid of anything at first because I thought I loved everything. Then I started becoming more cautious of what I actually wear and like to wear. I take 20 minutes a day once a week now to go through more clothes. I ask myself if I see myself wearing it and also if there was something that I didn’t feel comfortable in that I wore during the week I will get rid of also. I want to be comfortable in my clothes and feel confident when I wear them. Nothing too short or tight
I found one of your videos just randomly, I am obsessed. It's all I've been doing all day, watching your videos. They are so good.
Missing you and watching your older videos!!!! Have a blessed and healing and fun summer !!!
My idea is to start with high-volume items (boxes of yarn I'll never knit), big books, which make a visible difference once they're gone, then move on to smaller stuff.
That is a great strategy! ✨👍✨
Keeps me motivated. Just seriously downsized and after 2 years STILL decluttering
PS You and Dawn, the minimal mom, changed how I live just not what I live with. Less is not just more-Joshua Becker-it is peace in my brain. I am letting go of fantasy self-I am close to maintenance of my decluttered miminal world and now doing mostly daily maintenance declutters! Love the “in” “out” principle and do about 1:5 in out ratio! Lots of ❤️Jenean the “balanced behaviorist” (I am a board certified behavior analyst and also teacher-i work with children with apraxia/autism!)
Thanks for the video 💖, the best was that "Just because something made you happy in the past, it doesn't mean you need to keep it forever." 📚
I could never declutter my father's favorite books, or mine... I think your choice in books says a lot about who you are, and if makes me feel like he's still close ❤️
Been watching your older video, just found you one week ago. This video is a big help.
Wonderful video. Are you a teacher? Your explanations are so clear. It's so very logical. (The guilt complex is so REAL). Thank you for your organized presentation!
My art and sewing supplies. I declutter clothing, kitchen, and decor items to keep it under control around here, but not those!
I started decluttering because every time I moved I ended up with a bunch of stuff I didn't want and was a hassle to move lol. Trying to avoid that in the future. I once got rid of so much stuff I actually paid people just to take it away and I didn't have the energy to sell/donate it. Worth it.
10:04 I can't tell you how much I absolutely love these little ADHD type moments. It helps to keep the video feeling real and relatable. I love that you don't edit them out and you let us see that glimpse of real life!
Thank you 😉
Great tips especially the one about wait on personal items. I go to the personal stuff to remember and then waste time. I'm going to the closet first
Nice video! I can’t declutter any art project my kids made for me. There’s even a potholder with an art print that’s very faded looking and I still can’t declutter it.
This is relatable.. have you tried going through it together with your kids and pick out your favorites?
I am so happy I came across this video! I am moving from a large house to a (still quite large) apartment and want to declutter. I was getting anxious and sad about having to give up so much to make the decluttering a success until I saw your video. Thank you!
Love the realistic view on expectations of decluttering. Common sense! I love that!
You make an excellent point about not rehoming quickly enough. Lots of bad things can happen if you don't do that.
I would never declutter my fave art supplies, my polychromous pencils, promarkers & watercolours. I love them all 😍
Me too!
Those are not items to de litter-- those are tools you use, like 🧰 ✅
I can't tell you enough how blessed I am to have found your channel. I keep writing a long post and then deleting but the gist of it is that I've lost both of my parents at a young age and they both had hoarding/addiction issues. Not substance abuse, but my mom was a compulsive shopper and that's how we spent time together. I am still going through her things almost 3 years later and allowing myself to get rid of some of the clothes I was given as gifts that don't fit/don't make me happy. I set aside space in my closet last year and moved a lot of clothes into a sell pile that never got listed. After starting to watch your channel and using my boss's favorite phrase 'just do it', I have gotten halfway through that pile this month with a really great sell rate.
I also took a hard HARD look at the clothes I chose to keep. That still don't fit. Have tags on them. Never worn. I tried to be very honest with myself. Removed another 50+ tops alone. Removed another 10 pairs of shoes and added to the 2.5 storage containers full of shoes I already culled down. Another 5 handbags. I moved on from MK, Coach and Kate Spade to Louis Vuitton which I started to carry all the time... but now I am up to about 7-8 in that collection and was about to compulsively buy another + a gucci bag that I have been wanting for a few months. I justified the LVs because many were decades old and still in great condition. I reminded myself that I've been doing a great job of choosing what to let go and that this is going to add to my closet and also to my debt. I want to declutter so I can have visual and financial breathing room. Instead, where would that money be better used? So I didn't buy them and am choosing to spend what I would on less than one bag making small changes like painting my bathroom and kitchen which will help me enjoy my space more.
My sister and I are trying to do any shopping we feel compulsed to do on just one day out of the weekend. The other is for helping each other re-organize/clean/declutter/sell. And when we do go out, we are being better about analyzing the cart before check out and most things get put back. I bought bath bombs which are one use items , a candle (another consumable), and a candle holder. This upcoming weekend we are going to analyze her closet.
Your tips are so simple to implement and you're such an amazing coach about everything. There was a set of ugly orange dishes my mom brought with her when she moved in with me that I was finally able to get rid of because of what you said about things no longer serving me or making me happy can be honored for the memories they did give me and can be passed along to help create memories for someone else. That has really resonated with me and made it easier to part with some things. But I waited until it felt right (and I found a beautiful set of blush stoneware dishes that DID make me happy) So I appreciate you saying in this video that some things will not feel right getting rid of at the time even when you are honest with yourself about every other aspect and logically it makes no sense to keep.
Just thank you. You are in my head coaching me through this journey. I see immediate results and it is changing my thought process/behaviors. I don't think I will get to your level of minimalism and I appreciate that you reinforce we are all different and this is not a one size fits all. I am having such a positive journey, though not without a few tears lol.
I read every word of this and I am so proud of you! Especially the part about the orange dishes. Cheering you on from Germany 🇩🇪 and THANK YOU for the sweet message. I’ve never dared to call myself a “coach” before but I kinda like hearing it from you. 🤗 Hugs.
Love these tips! Especially finding the balance between doing too much at a time or doing too little. Too little doesn't give me something to see or point to as what I accomplished, and boy oh boy, does too much feel like I'm drowning! Using many of these, and making my checklist as I work through my plan. Thanks!
Clothes makes me happy and I’ve learned that, that is ok! I don’t hoard anything else 😊
I watched a few videos yesterday, and this is the first one that I've shown my husband. Thanks so much for making such thoughtful and balanced content. Really useful stuff, thanks!
Binged your whole channel, and subscribing to see what you do next. Keep up the awesome work! :)
The Girl with the Controller Thanks so much, look forward to seeing you around! ✌️😁
So useful and direct to the point.
I will not declutter my CD’s. They are not top 40. They are unusual artists and lesser known groups so I won’t be able to rebuy them or purchase a copy online.
My personal guide is “worst thing first.” This means the biggest thing that’s bothering me or tripping me or most visually obvious - goes first. This has be helpful in getting large space cleared quickly.
The cost of having either donations or junk picked up has gotten really expensive here, so sadly, more things will go into the trash unless they are really worth the trouble of giving away. We try just leaving something out with a free sign for a day or two, and if it gets left, we “bin it.”
The other issue with donations to charity shops and their ilk is how much ACTUALLY is sold in the shop. Last year I gave SEVERAL LARGE bagfuls of clothing and miscellaneous items. They were in some cases unused and therefore practically pristine condition. The rest were in no worse a state than other people's stuff that was already out on sale. However when I got the Gift Aid letter informing me of the money raised, the amount quoted was FAR LESS than I expected (particularly in view of the surprisingly high prices charged in the shop).
Earlier this week, I had a similar letter concerning the 300 books I gave to another shop. Again they were in either near pristine or "as new" condition (I handle even paperbacks carefully, NEVER write in the pages, fold the pages or crease the spine). Certainly in a better state of preservation than much of the other merchandise next to it. Yet again the amount raised from sales was far, far smaller than could be reasonably expected.
After these experiences, it is clear that most of my donations did not go near the shop floor, most likely diverted by the staff for themselves. Either that or they were sold but a lot of the proceeds were put towards "admin" or "expenses" (ie. management salaries).
I am not completely surprised by this, but it is still annoying. The intended recipients (the animals) do not the full benefit of my donations, what is the point in bothering?
I did that with a table. Someone took it! I was happy!
Let it go.
@@jackiehamilton2738 It depends on the goals of the charity. Goodwill employs people who need jobs so they have to get paid. I don't know if Hospice shops have any paid employees, but they do have expenses as all shops do. If the place is nonprofit that is different from a thrift store. You can look online and you can ask for information on where the money goes. It is of course up to them what to give you and what to charge. Normally, that would be based on what competitors are doing, according to supply and demand. If they have excess donations beyond what they can sell or fit in the space, they will deal with the extras in various ways, depending on what channels are open to them. Accusing them of impropriety without evidence doesn't help you or anyone else. Maybe you should volunteer and see how a shop operates.
Thoroughly enjoyed the video Marissa. And it got me to thinking about many more steps I can take to declutter even more. Thank you for a very well presented video!!
Mary That’s wonderful to hear! Keep me updated on your progress. ✨❤️✨
You are great! Thank you. It’s really about managing and being oneself - call it Minimalist. I call it Tolerance of how much Material I can handle. Some need a Home stuffed - I like it pretty designed. My kids learn: everything needs maintenance. Get as much as you can handle. Collect what you like - be yourself.
Great video. To answer your question, I would never give up my books. I love books and I have enough for a small library.
Another mistake: don't declutter other people's stuff, even your partner AND kids. It's easy to get back things from the "rehoming" pile if it sits there too long (happens to everybody), but as it was said somebody might misunderstand it as you rehomed toys without asking your kids about it.
Also if you declutter for them you are not giving them the tools to learn how to do it yourself. My Mum would make stuff “disappear” which was upsetting and then as a teen I just kept everything because it was sentimental to me. It’s been a long process of decluttering and looking at different organising and decluttering systems before It really clicked for me. The KonMari philosophy of only keeping it if it is relevant to your life going forward really helped change my mindset as well as only keeping my top tier items. I’ve past this knowledge on to my daughter and she seems to have an easier time decluttering than I did which I hope will help her going forward.
I was a “minimalist” way before UA-cam was born, and now I just rolled my eyes at these “I own 5/47 items” video. Like what?! How is this practical or even become a trend? For me my number one mistake for the last 20 years was throwing away toooo much. If it’s an item that I have not touch/use for 3 months it better get out of my house (excluding 4 season clothes), but then later I would need it and have to spend the money to buy it again 🙄 I buy base one how often am I gonna use it, how much space it gonna take up, and how long it take to care for that item.
Is this a new trend for me? Watching your video after 1am ...❤️ oh I would NeVER throw away my books. I read for free at library and if I buy a book that mean it become a lifetime treasure.
Hahaha I think I probably didn’t scare you this time like the last one? What time zone are you in btw?
I agree, going by numbers isn’t really helpful or healthy BUT I will say people looooove to click those videos, so the UA-cam algorithm seems to promote them more. That’s my conspiracy theory of the day - thanks for watching and sharing your story. 📚
@@AtoZenLife
I’m in central daylight time....from Nashville Tn :)
@@HangNguyen-ih8rf I’ll try not to scare you after 2 am anymore 😇😉😂
Hang Nguyen We shouldn't throw away books. Donate books. I give mine to the library next door. They keep any they want and put the rest in a "take me" pile. There are also book drives where they collect books for distribution. There are lots of people who would love to have your free books but can't afford to buy them. The only exception is a super popular book, especially one that didn't live up to the hype, where they end up with too many copies to rehome. Certainly keep yours but nobody should assume the alternative is throwing books away. :)
This was so helpful. I am moving across country and was moving too slowly to release things. Thank you for helping me look at some things I was doing to slow myself down.
I can’t wait for you to put out a new video! I miss you!!!
This is the first video I watched from your channel and I agree with every point you made. I am still on my journey to minimalism and the more time goes by and I use stuff up or I sell things I no longer need or switch to more natural and waste-free packaging items, I am happier because I have less. I feel overwhelmed with the amount of things I have and maybe it's because I live in a very small room (I mean US closet room - I live in the UK) that it makes me feel like I have a lot but I also see that I am not using everything and regardless of the size of the room, I'd still like to have less. You have a very intelligent and wise aura in you, hope you keep this up!
Home size can make a big difference! Marie Kondo’s book talks about how average homes in Tokyo are something like 7 tatami mats wide, which I think ends up being about 7‘ x 7‘ for the whole living space! When you live in an extra small space, it makes it extra challenging...wishing you lots of luck!
Great tips Marissa, I certainly DO LOVE my books and will do my best to keep them. 😆
I'm NOT a complete minimalist but I surely do love decluttering and not have too many things around.
Jose Rojas Right on, Jose, you do YOU! 👊
Something I have decluttered but still have "too much of" according to a FB decluttering group. Towels and linen. I have exactly the amount I need but unlike a lot of people I have no dryer and it gets very wet and cold here in the winter. It takes several days to get a single load of washing dried in the winter and all it takes is one round of gastro and we are absolutely screwed if we don't have enough spare sheets, blankets and towels. There is no realistic way I could follow the two sets for each bed and two towels per person rule without disaster but so many people criticize because they don't understand that other people face different challenges
I am in the process of decluttering and I’m enjoying it. Two pieces of big furniture that really weren’t working for me went out and no regrets. Records that I don’t use anymore are going out. You can stream any number of ways and again no regrets. As far as the closet, lots of clothes have gone out and again no regrets. I took down lots of pictures off the walls which I was iffy about (taste change). Every time I walked in the apartment I felt I couldn’t breathe. Have left some key family pictures in pretty frames but the rest are in albums. Again, no regrets. So much easier to maintain but the one thing I will never get rid of so you guys don’t think my methods are 100%, are books. I know I never will. I still love the feel of a book in my hand and even when read, I mark them with a checkmark but refuse to get rid of them and there again -no regrets. Marissa is right - it’s a long, long process but one worth taking.
I love the kitchen stuff
Thanks for your vulnerability in sharing how emotion decluttering can be. I've been on a 5 year journey of simplifying. Now entering minimalism, I'm really emotional letting go of baby items and transitioning from nursery to big boy room.
Minimalism helped us during this transition, I know it’s soooo emotional! FYI, baby stuff was one of the best things to sell if you are decluttering - for example, I sold the PIECES of the Pack N Play for the same cost as a brand new one. Good luck! 🍀
Tackle one zone at a time start to finish 💝 we were forced into this by a 2019 flood. It became our true incentive to design a functional room & install tile
Something I'll never declutter my bake ware, I love baking!
I collect Nutcrackers and have a good amount. Every Christmas I get a Nutcracker and I have some expensive ones too. This is something that I honestly do not see myself getting rid of ever. I love them and they bring me a lot of joy. They are out all year long so I can enjoy them
Have you watched Tidying Up with Marie Kondo (Season One)? The Akiyama family had lots of Nutcrackers too! ❤️
I have to say I really like your youtube pause because I get to find older videos like this one, that I haven’t seen before 🤩 Of course I want you to return with new videos but you rakning a break have been an opportunity to watch through old videos and that’s nice too!
Going back and watching your videos. I probably will never be a minimalist but decluttering is still a great thing to do. My house is a disaster right now with piles to donate, throw and organize. But that is OK, I am getting there. The one thing I will not get rid of is my yarn. I am organizing it better so I can grab what I need when I need it.
I’m so glad a found you! My name is Marisa (pronounced ma-ree-sa)💕and I’ve been an emotional hoarder, your ideas are helping me let go of the items that hold emotions\memories that seem to not really serve me any longer. Feels good to unpack and visit with them once again... then let them go. I value the memories but I value the storage and freedom decluttering promotes. Thank you for sharing your understanding, positivity, and realistic expectations!
Such a lovely voice and so much common sense...that is less and less common.
I have loved your videos and appreciate your advice so much. I have watched a couple of times so I can take notes 📝. This helps me a ton. ❤
For people like me who like the notes before the details.
#1 Don't Start with unrealistic expectations
#2 Don't focus on quantity, focus on quality (Keep items that add value & make you happy)
#3 Don't follow expert advice verbatim
#4 Don't start decluttering with no plan or vision
#5 Don't do too much or too little at once
#6 Don't start with difficult things (start with things you're excited to get rid off)
#7 Don't make excuses to keep an item. (ignore guilt) - "Just because something made you happy in the past, doesn't mean you need to keep it forever."
#8 Don't re-home the clutter too slowly
#9 Don't have "homeless" stuff. Everything needs a designated place.
#10 Don't keep bad cluttering habits (without changing the habits that made the clutter to begin with, you'll find yourself back where you started.)
I like my books, my winter/fall sweaters as winter is 9 months long at least in Maritimes, like the 5 page checklist idea, I like your common sense ideas...Thanks Marissa
This was practical, authentic, and helpful. Thank you!
Hi Marissa. I just found you and I'm so glad. Our house is packed with crap you can hardly walk around. This will help me a lot......stay away from Amazon. OMG we have tons of Amazon boxes everywhere that we don't have time to open. The only thing I can think of now that I refuse to donate, sell, throw out would be my fairy collection I love them. I did start cancelling magazine subscriptions because I have magazines backed up from years ago and I'm not going to live long enough to read them all. We have to start on the deal with the mail right away thing....we have a huge box of mail in the back bedroom and now the living room pile is growing. We have a hot mess lol.
I have a glass cabinet that was my Nana's I love it and I used it to display the things I love. So it's a win win
My grandfathers Uncle Remus Book. It will be with me to the end.
I would never ever get rid of my stuffed animals. They were my comfort during a very abusive childhood.
How is that serving you today? It sounds like baggage, sorry to say.
@@bexsh3207 don't be rude... they are a comfort through all of lifes troubles
@@theboujieproletariat that's not rude. Blunt perhaps. Honest question. Js
@@bexsh3207 No, it wasn't a question at all. It was a bad attempt to tell them that in your opinion, you think they are carrying baggage holding on to their items. No need to fake it under a false question. Your personal rule book doesn't apply here. Something that seems baggage to you is not to someone else.
❤️Do what YOU think is right for you
Other than family photos and Keepsakes, I won’t get rid of home decor. I like shopping my home and changing things up with the Seasons. But even with that, I told myself if you buy a new, item you must get rid of one item.
Really sad to see so many negative comments on the echo. Are people's ears THAT sensitive that they really couldn't watch the entire video or needed to say things like she "should" buy some carpets? Wow...how about focusing on all the great advice given? Everyone's a critic, geeze 😖 And I'll take an echo over a hoarded, cluttered home anytime. Thank you so much for sharing your minimalist journey 👍 I thought I couldn't part with my book collection, but I think I'm going to take the plunge over winter break
My late brothers records are something I’ll hold on to. I still love the music and my grandkids get to enjoy them know. Books are so hard to let go of. But I have resold many many boxes.
My goal is to make room for the things I value, the most. Then, I want to be able to remember where everything is. By decluttering, I feel that I'll have more space to think, too. I think it's important to have harmonious flow in your space in order to live a happy life. Often times, I create these blockages for myself with stuff. Sometimes, after I have an emotional breakthrough/revelation what will follow is physical purging. It's absolutely amazing. When I let go, emotionally, I can let go, physically.
I spent years constantly decluttering and never feeling better or like it helped. Then I realised I wasn't thinking about my need of a thing emotionally or physically. I watched a ton of videos but like you said I adapted to me. Now I'm well on my way and still learning. I don't like hearing it will take time but thats actually the reality 😕 🙃
I have decluttered books BUT will never completely go with out bookshelves full.
Thanks for a great video! I thought I'd share a bit of my decluttering journey, if you don't mind.
I was never a hoarder, but I was a messie, which in my case was just as bad. My tiny flat constantly looked like a tornado had hit it. I literally had pathways carved through the clutter! I never had anyone over because I was ashamed and overwhelmed, and couldn't get up the energy to clean up anything.
About 15 years ago I finally decided I wanted to reclaim my flat and be able to have guests over again. I asked my church for help, and a group of young people came over on a Saturday and sorted and cleaned all day for free. They also took several car loads of things to my nearest donation centre, or to the recycling centre if the things couldn't be donated. I'll never forget their kindness!
That kickstarted a process that I've kept up since then. To keep myself from falling back into my old patterns, I hired a cleaning company to come weekly. Knowing that someone would be coming in regularly forced me to stay organised and keep the floors clear so they could clean properly. It also took a load off my mind, knowing I could leave the heavy cleaning to someone else.
Then I began decluttering once or twice a year, usually around my birthday in the spring and just before Thanksgiving in the autumn. Everything I haven't used in the past 6 months or so gets donated or tossed out. In rare cases I may upcycle something, for example a large bicycle mirror that I was able to mount in my bathroom so that I can now see the back of my head and still have both hands free to dry my hair 😊.
During the pandemic I had to cancel the cleaning company and couldn't have anyone over. My donation centres closed up during lockdowns, so my organisation got a bit wonky again, unfortunately. However, as soon as I could, I hired a private cleaning lady who also does other small jobs like cutting my hair. That saves me a ton of money!
I just finished my first big declutter of 2022. This one took longer because I wanted to donate as much as possible for the Ukrainian refugees. I've learned over the years that decluttering and learning to live with less is a lifelong process. It gets easier with time, and it's a fun journey as I free up space in my flat and my life, while helping other people through my donations as well. But it's never a one-and-done thing. There's always room for improvement, and for being more mindful of what I allow into my home and my life.
This is a long post, but I hope my story might help someone who feels overwhelmed with the thought of getting organised, just like I did. Help is out there, and there's no need to be ashamed to ask for it.
Have a wonderful day! I'll close with one of my favourite Gandhi quotes: "Live simply, so that others may simply live." 😊
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me! It shows people that it is truly possible to change, and to maintain that change. Cheers and take care! ❤️
@@AtoZenLife Thanks! You too! 🤗🤗
I have a tip for reducing gift clutter from friends and family. For a couple of years I've been asking everyone, instead of giving me a physical gift, to do something to serve someone else, and just let me know what that was, and send a picture if possible. Over the years, friends have sown and knitted for charity, made care packages for ill or elderly people, baked cakes for neighbours, babysat couple's kids to give them time for date nights, donated to good causes, and so much more. I save every picture and note they send and put them in my journal. That is so much more special than getting more stuff! It's a win-win-win situation because they get the joy of giving to others, the others benefit from it, and I get blessed when I hear about it (and have less clutter to boot). As your kids get older, that could be a way to teach them about being socially conscious and reaching out to others. Just be sure to reward them for their generosity in some tangible way while they're young, so they feel important too, and not left out. That could be something as simple as gold stars, a special meal, a back yard game of their choice, or whatever. (For example, my grade 3 teacher used to give simple filing cards with gold stars and "Good Person Award" written on them. I saved mine for decades.) Once they're teenagers, they may not need that as much, as the intrinsic value of the deed becomes its own reward. Feel free to share this in a video if you like!
Edit: These can be great teaching times too. If a friend gives to a charity in their name, for example, help your kids learn about the charity and who they help, and give them a chance to get involved themselves if they like.
U nailed it! I have been decluttering forever. My problem is my husband is not so into it. He doesnt have personal things but lots of old stuff passed down from relatives which have values. Plus he is not an "organize" freak. So decluttering was (coz it's a lot better now) a huge struggle for me.
Hi,Marrisa and thanks for helping via your channel!
I can't get rid of my book, especially children ones,some toys from my childhood and my grandmother's wallet and scarf.
She passed away 8 years ago...she was very nice, strong woman with hard life,but I suppose she was most kindly person in my live...
Take care of your family and yourself.
Closed captioning considerations for the Deaf and hearing impaired would be a great addition to this video. Thanks!
I NEED my books… besides some sort of “book festish” I consider myself a scholar, as an artist I draw inspiration from them, they make me feel loved and supported … I consult from time to time, I have my favorite quotes underlined, my favorite illustrations marked with sticky notes and I still in love with reading books printed on paper… BUT this summer I am ready to depart with most of my kid’s books…
As a former book person I get it! This sounds like big steps for you, letting go of the kids books 📚 👏
I love your channel. It's really insightful. I've always been a neat, tidy person, but in recent years I've had to downsize a house as I moved into a condo. And then I moved my mom in with me so I downsized two homes. The immense guilt I felt choking the landfill brought me to tears. (most of it was my husband's broken band gear). Once I pushed past that I was able to declutter (donate, sell) without guilt or emotion. My goal is to move from Chicago to Berlin where my kids live, so having this goal in the forefront is motivation for me to keep only what I need now that I can easily donate when Im ready to move. I will never ever move overseas with furniture again!! (I did that the first time) :)
How do you deal with your kids books? How do you arrange them and how do you declutter them? Some of them are already to toddlerish for our son but our daughter just starts to enjoy them. And I myself love books and love to read to them. So definitely a sentimental area for me...
No one will ever get me to let go of my custom dress. Or my linen and organic sheet sets...yes I have multiple white set's and I'M a minimalist🤗🤗🤗
Organic bedding is heavenly! My Husband laughs at me because I have him use silk pillowcases w me too🤣
I’m so glad that you are not one of the people who wants to get rid of just about everything. I shudder when I see some of those minimalist homes. It looks like they’re either moving in or moving out. I love colour and I like 👍 stuff that makes me happy. No way old I get rid of things just because minimalism has become popular. I really liked your video, you talked a lot of sense. No one wants to feel that clutter is weighing them down and trapping them in an unorganised home. As you said it doesn’t happen overnight.
Great talk! I'm 61 and have lots of medical issues. Your organization plans are perfect teaching tools! When I was a retail manager...I would have hired you!
Not really a mistake, although it does Feel like one.. I'm in the moment decluttering my highly loved antique wardrobe from 1896. I love it, it's been with me for about 15+ years, two apartments, and now I find that it takes up to much space. It's huge, you can't really take it apart when moving and it's beginning to heighten my anxiety level.. So, I had to make the difficult decision to let it go/sell it. Because of this I now have to pile up my clothes, bedlinen and so forth in plastic bags until I find a better solution for storage as my new wardrobe. But, because I am now selling this huge wardrobe I am now able to buy/fit in a larger bed.. It's all about priorities and letting go of a priced and highly loved item so that one may begin on a new journey. Letting go of the past and making space.
Thank you for sharing, I know it was a tough decision but I can see by your rationalization you found your own truth! ✨🙌✨ Good luck. 🍀
@@AtoZenLife Thank you 😇🙏 I find that it's all about the mindset. 😇 I have been through a rough time and I've been exhausted, so this decision was not made lightly to say the least. But, it was the best decision for sure. I have loads of items that's for sale and that's being sold every week (basically) and I find joy in selling them; making money And getting rid of them. But now that I'm on the last items/furnitures that I have had a tougher time deciding what to do with I find it to be harder. The very reason that it's so difficult is because it's the last pieces that I have held dear to me for all these years. Ever since I started collecting antiques. So, I do feel I have changed, and that for the better of it. My need for room and the need for other furniture that would provide me and my now older small dog the comfort we need I had to change. It's all in the mind, the mental bit, changing how one thinks. And that really has changes my way of thinking, for sure. 💗 It's only stuff right, but somehow it's more than that, that's what makes it difficult at times, when making the decisions. I find myself having a harder time now then before, whenever I have to buy something new. I would much rather just declutter some more then to buy something else at this point to be honest haha, much easier 😋😅👍
@@Sapientiam you're right, it's only stuff. Have you ever heard of Swedish death Cleaning? It's something both of my grandmothers basically did in preparation for (going to the hospital) or (going into the nursing home). They had both planned on coming back, of course! But just being around on this planet (one grandma was 99), we can accumulate so much stuff! Even when decluttering on a yearly basis, stuff creeps back in, in our house. 🤷
Blessings!
@@Lisawhatshersname I've heard about it via different vlogs on UA-cam, but I never really read about it so I didn't know what it was about. Took a sneak peak on the web now actually 😇👍. I know I started this way last year 😆😅 and it made me think and led me in a new direction. From being materialistic to becoming more minimalist, to becoming more environmentally friendly and conscious of what objects really meant and what kind of value they had in their use. I'm not done in my process, far from it. However, I see progress that leads me more towards what life is really about. It's been a wake-up call, definitely. One thing is to achieve the pleasure of selling things and making money so that one can save, but I see a great pleasure in only the fact of owning less. I understand very well what you mean and why they did what they did. It is much easier to leave home knowing that they will come home to a tidy and clean home when they return home from the hospital. I have the same feeling myself every day. I'm only at home, every day, but I feel less burdened if I know I have fewer things around me. I stress about the things I know I'm going to sell and have to sell and feel an impatience. On the other hand, I must simultaneously feel the relief and the joy of the things I have actually sold and given away over the last few years. I am a young woman, living alone with my dog and we live in a small apartment. I'm going to renovate the apartment before it's sold, sometime after these crazy times we're in.. and there's a strong motivation to get more things away by that time. I feel an extra strong pressure on this hold as I don't have anyone else to support me, but at the same time maybe such a thing makes one stronger in the future. Let's hope.. hehe 😂🙏 Anyway, I know that I have now found my style in the interior, which is called Japandi. Which is a mix of Scandinavian and Japanese style. A modern minimalist style that's best suited to me. Where everything has a place and everything is in use. 👍💚 Before I had a strong hunger for "coup" and now I feel a strong hunger to get things away. The faster the better 😅Strange how minimalist thinking changes the existence of everyday life. And that for the better. 😇 It's going to be a long journey and I know I've made my mistakes along the way, but at the same time I've learned from them. Today I sold plates with more that I had to many of and now I have only the few I really need. A lot is being replaced and upgraded and I feel a joy at these changes and it was just time to upgrade (big time! Like cutlery, bed and so forth.. You name it😇). 👍👍 The only furniture I'm going to have left is my new bed and new couch and a small table. Besides from that I will have only my essentials.. That is my dream and goal anyways.. 🙏💚🌱🕊️ So you could say I'm well on my way with a "Swedish death cleaning" prosess, that's been going on for about two years time, give or take. 😇💚
Guilty of bagging things up and forgetting them, also getting caught! I have sentimental items like paintings/framed art, furnishings, that I would hate to part with though the furniture leads to a mishmash of styles and I’d be better off getting a huge built in bookcase. Yes I love my books too. It’s HARD!
Jessie C I get it! I used to be a book person too - now I find I don’t have time to read as much. 😂 Maybe when the kids are grown - a built in bookcase was a dream of mine...Or even better, a bookshelf that hides a secret room LOL. 😳
@@AtoZenLife 🤣
Love these tips!!! Those different guilts though.... that hit home yo lol
The fly though, how you train it to make a cameo? Amazing.
I don’t have human kids, but if you’ve had them since they were kitties, CAT TOYS somehow proliferate behind your back!!
Ahhh I LOVE your editing style!! It’s so fresh and cracks me up when you leave in things like a fly buzzing around you 😂
I’m so guilty of all these mistakes at one point or another. Especially not taking things to the thrift store right away and my kids finding stuff! 🤦♀️😱 I learned that lesson real quick! Even my husband saw some toys I was getting rid of and tried to convince me to keep them... 🙄 No way!! ✋🏻
Thanks for the great content and keeping it real!!
Katie Soderling Ahhhh, that’s SUCH a common thing! 😂 They don’t miss it until they SEE IT, right? Do you know about that fly - one thing about not having air-conditioning is you have to keep the windows open, which means a lot of bugs. I’m just happy it wasn’t a wasp. 😅🐝😳🐝 Thanks for watching! 🙌
Love that sofa btw
Thank you it’s the IKEA Landskrona 4-seater! 🙌
My grandma always taught me to "never say never".....but I would say I would never declutter my boats. :) Glad I found this channel, my wife and I are starting our journey of decluttering and trying to figure out a starting point is challenging. I really like the point of not focusing on a quantity of something and instead of how important it is to you. Let the purge begin.
Your videos are smart and very helpful! Thank you!
All the mistakes you mentioned totally relatable! I am a minimalist person but after having my own family and kids, it's hard to go back to my minimalism lifestyle, it takes me 3years and still counting. Not to mention, my husband also falls under mistake #8 😂😂
For those of you who LOVE the echoes 👉 ua-cam.com/users/shorts4nvw8cVLyuE?feature=share . Don’t forget to a comment with something you would NEVER declutter!
I would keep my Harry Potter books. 📚
@@quoththeraven13 Dude, me TOO! HP love 4ever. :)
Hey Marissa, how is your new place? that's so great that you made 1000 dol selling and decluttering, that feels productive huh? to answer your question i think i would not be able to declutter kitchen utensils and spices collection LOL but i'm a minimalist to begin with ;-) i wasn't surprised when you talked about the toys in the trunk and the kids grabbing them, i guess they get attached even though they don't use them all LOL See ya!
@@AlexiaHDIntuition Our new place is WONDERFUL, thanks for asking! I was actually making $1,000 a MONTH, and by the end of our entire extreme decluttering I made -- well -- maybe I need to make a video on that! 😂Keep in mind this was decades of sentimental clutter and stuff, however! I know what you mean about spices -- I have tons because I love to cook! Thanks for watching!
@@AtoZenLife U R welcome ;-)
I crochet so I keep those supplies as well as very sentimental homemade items from family over the years. I have given back some items to family after they lost their stuff in a fire. Stuff their mom had made for me, like a quilt and afghan. It meant a lot to them and I still have what my mother made for me. Somethings bring so many memories I cannot part with them.