Marisa I read a quote about dealing with toxic people that I love - ‘it’s like trying to play chess with a pigeon - the pigeon is going to strut around the board sh!tting everywhere acting like it’s won anyway’.
Marisa, I hope you see this. You are an angel. Yesterday I left a toxic relationship. I have an anxiety disorder and I always felt like I was walking on egg shells. He was verbally abusive as well. I had left for over a year but went back thinking he had changed. You are so right. They don't change. I left a beautiful lifestyle but I'm now at peace. You have helped me so much. Thank you!
Dear Matt. Reading your post to Marisa inspired me to make a few decisions regarding a toxic individual in my family. You've been to battle and you've won the war. You've reclaimed your power. Well done! Wishing you health, peace and love. Many regards, Di Redhead (South Australia).
One thing I've noticed with narcissists is they refuse to go to therapy. When someone tells me they would never go under any circumstances, it's a red flag for me.
As a child of a covert narcissist father I'm begging anyone in a relationship with one, DO NOT BRING A CHILD INTO THE WORLD WITH A NARC!! Listen to Marisa, leave, asap!!!
I grew up with narcissists parents and the toxic rippled effects slowed me down, hurt me, influenced many of my bad choices, work, relationships, friendshipd..etc... Many times I tried to step away from their powerful effect on me but they always made feel bad or guilty. Today, I finally took my distance trying to not let myself feel overwhelmed by guilt, manipulation, sadness, anger. They still don't understand and respect my needs. They still paint me as the black sheep of the family. Because I speak the TRUTH, I m AWAKE, I refuse their toxicity, I do not let them in.and affect me anymore. It takes strength and high awareness to do this. But I always focus on ME. I remind myself every day that I am worth being loved and acknowledged. I m rebuilding my SELF ESTEEM. Thank you Marisa for every word and advice you share with the world 🙏🏼❤ The pain is real in every one if us, so is HEALING. It's all a matter of DECIDING TO GET BETTER. it's all about SELF LOVE.
truth. When i was terribly depressed and ill and i needed hugs and reassurance, my narcissistic husband asked me" why dont you just commit suicide? in this way we will both be happy!" . It took me all of my strength to go beyond this statement and regain my power but it brought me to my knees. When i later confronted him about why he said that, he told me that oh, he only wanted to shock me so i can snap out of it. Such sick people with such cold hearts. Sick, sick people.
Narcissists are in deep pain. They don’t deceive it as pain - they think of that as strength and project that to others around them making others miserable. They are toxic. We are not strong or powerful enough to change them - because they do not wish to change. It will not happen. Get out. Do not hold the hope that they would change for the better. “Someone made them wrong.”
Yes, my ex was unpleasable, always critical. It was hard for someone who likes to make others happy. I could never succeed. I finally divorced him after 19 yrs of marriage. It was hard to start over, and it was tough on the kids. Apparently he was a covert narcissist.
My mum & stepfather need to watch this video. My mum isn’t a narcissist but she has blamed me for her life choices & she sees me as the problem to her unhappy half life. She criticised me daily forever, I cut my losses 3 years ago
I was not allowed to do anything and like say she was planing to murder me and waned burning alive so I no how you fell she not here now she died 2 years ago on Christmas eve but I for give her
She is a pure narcissist to make you live her choices and misery,,while she is riding in her fantasy with stepfather...a covert malignant narcissist at it
You gave me a flashback.... I remembered, there was a family that loved me very much, they were well off had a beautiful house and for whatever reason, they loved me. and my mother said to me:' I wonder why they love you so much?? yep... that was my mom. I laugh now, because now I understand clearly... I didn't before. I am still very grateful to Nena, the amazing Matriarch of that family that embraced me. Thank You amazing Nena
This reassures my decision to cut my mom off from any contact. At 52 my thyroid dr. said I had CPTSD and my mom sounded detached based on what I told her about my life (whilst in tears). 3 years of therapy and multiple treatment of EMDR, visualization & other modalities. I googled things my therapist's suggestions and ended up realizing the truth of my situation. Once I started changing my behavior and realizing I had no control over her or changing her and my relationship with her no matter how much/hard I tried. my mothers wrath only spiraled into much worse situations and treatment. I had to love myself enough to say "No more." Yes, it's sad and unusual but it was necessary for me to heal from years of abuse and trauma.
Dear Marissa, thank you for speaking about this topic. I used to have these kind of relationships, and always made me feel depressed . Happily not anymore. I also remember in my family , my father used to say: let’s not talk about it anymore. Same attitude with my uncles and some cousins .And I felt I left alone cause I needed to express myself. I came to understand my father’s fear of feeling pain. I loved him so much and I finally understood him better. Thank you so much. You always help me to understand that I’m enough and I matter to many people . Lots of light and love for you 🌹🌈🎶
I'm going to work on not just jumping into solutions. I'm so empathic and sometimes when people have problems I just want them to feel better. I'm going to make it a point to try to be really present and say things like "awww that's awful I'm so sorry that happened to you." And try to hold space without letting it in to me. Sometimes I struggle with boundaries and I am afraid that I will be the go-to person to dump all their stuff on because that has been a thing for me especially narcissistic family members. I feel like if you pull on my heart strings or cry I can get really sucked in. I'm going to practice though, I wish I understood the balance. I am a coach and so naturally I just want solutions for them for me for everybody. I would love it if you made a video about how to hold space and how to have boundaries. Your work has helped me tons Thank you!
I divorced my ex husband 8 years ago as he was humiliating me all the time. For a long time I thought it was my fault as I let him treat me this way. Only after your video, realised that he is a narcisist. I am going through a rough times with my teenage daughter( she feels not enough and lonely). This helped me realise something. Thank you, Marisa! 😘
Hi Lina, you deserve so much more. Well done for putting yourself first and letting go of what made you unhappy. Sending you love and support. And a message for your daughter: Write I Am Enough on your mirror, put it as a reminder in your phone, use it in your passwords... Marisa explains that the most important words are the ones we tell ourselves. You are very welcome to join the Masterclass and Marisa has this wonderful meditation as well: ua-cam.com/video/qLhKXtjW8CY/v-deo.html You are enough! ❤️ Marisa Peer Team
Whenever I encounter a toxic person I remind myself that story of Marissa’s client, a posh lady and what she said to her toxic mother in law (if you know that story you know what she said ) and I say it my head. 🤗🤗🌸🌸
The wounds narcissists create are so difficult to heal. It's really important to get help when one is overwhelmed, that's what I've learned during the last few years. Thank you for this empowering video, letting criticism slide is very difficult when it comes from parents or loved ones but I am getting better and better at it. I am learning to let go of feeling responsible if someone chooses to be cruel. I am only responsible for my choices and energy and I choose love. Thank you for the incredible work you do in the world, it makes me feel so happy to know you are impacting people and empowering their wellbeing.
That is because they JUST DON'T CARE about anyone else except themselves. Whatever wrong they do is considered their "right" and you can NEVER argue with them because they will turn around and make you feel guilty. The lesson is NEVER fall in love with someone whom you notice has narcissistic traits and behaviour. Keep your distance and treat him/her as one of your friends/acquaintances but NEVER attempt to make him/her your lifelong partner. Stay taking care of yourself by loving the way you are and recognizing your good points and work on them. Also pay attention to those who show you the love and respect you deserve. 🥰
You're right, I don't know how or why but I've always had people trying to put me down, funnily enough I have always been the "happy-go-lucky" person in my circle, the thing is, why do so many narcissists cling to me?!! Like, I'm honestly tired with all of this, and now I'm becoming a bit negative, though I still don't use others as punching balls thank goodness, I hurt myself though, and it's sad, I really feel like this cycle is keeping me trapped, it really is hard, now I'm even scared of new relationships, I'm having trust issues T^T Honestly, I'm glad I got the awesome destiny of finding your channel and watching your videos, it really comforts me in my pain, thank you very much Mrs.Peer!
Thanks for reaching out. If you wish to seek additional therapeutic support, I would advise booking an RTT session with one of our specialist therapists who can discuss your concerns further. You can book this using the link below: bit.ly/FAST-Booking-FB Marisa Peer Team
@@MarisaPeer honestly, I would love to! At the moment though, it might be a bit difficult, I will nonetheless be looking forward to the day I can book one haha!
I have to say it! I can't keep it to myself , you are a lovely person inside and out and at the end i realize why , you are a kind person. Sure there are many kind people that mean well but you have a deeper grasps , a better more clearer understanding of what kindness really is. I would say that other traits such as consideration allow you to view things from other peoples perspectives before applying the bandage. Your kind and deeply considerate Marisa Peer.
Thank you my husband is narsistic I separated myself Henie lives in nursing home smoking pot and all about him so I decided to stay with a woman friend it caused me health issues I gave him the power
Some parents are too toxic to stay in contact with , they can totaly mess you up and your life up ! Better off on your own sometimes , it’s a case by case basis
4:06 PPP - Permanent, Pervasive, Personal Is this problem permanent? Is this problem all pervasive? Is this problem personal? 5:33 We can cope with anything if it has an ending. Even pain. (Just don't say it's 'never gonna end) Look at when you decide to leave. Focus on the part this is going to end. People need to be to feel heard. No toxic positive. it's important to feel. we can't Netflix our feelings away. How can I help? Let me hear you out. That awful that you feel abandoned. 27:36 People want to be seen, like they matter. They don't want you to fix it or them. They want to hear what they want to hear. Im so sorry this is happening. This must feel terrible. It must be awful. How sad it must be to always be let down. Perhaps we can have a look at what's going on here? 30:33 'Kind Positivity ' Where is this coming from? How is it serving? You know, positive thinking could help with this? Can I help you to change just a few of your thoughts because it may help with the worry, hypochondria, anxiety, illness, etc. Listen, Hear them, acknowledge them, and then gently introduce them. something kindness, niceness, warmth, and empathy. Never try it be superior and tell them the 'right way' because what's right for me might not be right for them.
This is so eye opening Marisa!! My beautiful boy cat Louis was run over and his back broken and I felt so devastated and I feel guilty to this day that I didn't let him in as I went to bed early and I couldn't find him 😢 I realise that I've been doing this behaviour! OMGosh I'm stopping this behaviour as of now!! Thank you so much for this revelation xxx❤
I walk away from all family and friends who are toxic and perpetually negative. Why even engage these people? I know it’s hard to let go, but going back to their mid Pitt of destruction is not my problem. Life is to short to engage with these sort of folks!!
I work with someone who seems to have sociopathic tendencies..she is nasty on the regular and is enabled by our bosses because on the outside, she is effective..other colleagues feel the same, but don't do anything because of the bosses' enabling and lack of accountability..
I think Imu healed my own narcissism with your RTT therapy because narcissism was trauma induced, and I healed the trauma. I now cry, and I never used to. I use was hurt statements instead of lashing out.
Totally agree 💯 with you. Happy people always want to sharing creating thrive together win/win game :) Before I always think the positive things until meet some people who unhappy ☹️ they’re day to day life motivated in defeat others or make others life hard as possible! Sometimes it’s not about you be positive help them……their deep chicken heart secret is watching you suffering. evil do exist 👿 before I don’t believe! People are different, some people just like get enlightenment more than the darkness, but there’s someone living life must based on bullying others. We can just be friendly except end up their crime ❗️
Marisa, I have anxiety disorder and ever since I had a big problem with my self-esteem, because of my negative childhood upbringing. Now when I start watching your advice, I do feel more hope! thank you!
I left my both parents and everyone i knew, all was bad people, now i been trough real traumas bc of bad people and im getting better and better, i am doing better without them wierdly! Im going towards happiness now i can feel it, i had so much pain for a long time, but i felt it and never ignored my feelings, i love myself for wanted to heal this so badly, my body and mind is amazing, it showed me the way to heal, when my soul is truly heal then i will fall madly in love with myself, and that is true happiness! Believe me, ive been there before so i have evidense in myself. Love yourself and everything good and amazing in life will come to you, everything will fall in place ❤ i felt that noone could be more happy than me, a beautiful strong love was inside me all the time, like i was with my true soulmate, everything was so beautiful and life was easy ❤
Marisa, you are so wonderful! I love to listen to your beautiful soothing voice. Always...always giving me the best advice to help me cope with myself! Thank you! You are the best!❤
Marisa, you are an amazing woman and I'm soo thankful for your videos and life lessons. My life is so much better since I am following your advice. Thank you so, so, so much for everything you do for this world to make it better.
5 years for me, I'm just getting back to myself, gonna stop being a ppl pleaser and please myself. Sending ❤ love, light and positivity right bk at ya.
My Dad always said, I don't change and I don't apologize. And you know what, he was right, he didn't change and didn't apologize. Believe them. It's not easy but you really do need to get on with your own life and accept how they are, because they really don't think there's anything wrong with them - it's always someone else. It's sad, but very true. You aren't to blame, it's not your fault they are who they are and you can't fix it or them. Like my therapist said to me by our second session, they have faulty wiring. Brain damage.
Sometimes people are deeply set in their ways, and it’s not something we can change, no matter how much we may want to. It’s important to remind yourself that their actions aren’t a reflection of you or your worth. You deserve peace, and accepting them as they are is a big step toward creating that for yourself. 🙏🏻
Take care of this -next level- trap. She would always come to me after the fight/break up telling me that she will change and work on her issues, BUT during every disagreement/fight or after we got together (once more) I was the one who was always wrong.. and this was a vicious cycle.. one of the many mental vicious cycles you have to deal with a narcissist..
You carry yourself so elegantly. And you're a lovely teacher. Thanks for your wisdom. You know Shakespeare was right the world is a stage and we're all actors. Narcissists are actually evil spirits within people. We are dealing with spiritual warfare. We are living in the end days. Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Sorry it was too graphic the story of the kitty was just too much for me I ran away from the video and I do hope it ended well. Since I don’t know if it ended well or not I’m going to decide it did end well kitty is fully recovered the dogs were repentant against their nature but learned a valuable lesson.they now volunteer with maimed cats recovery uk and we are rich & famous from selling the story. Whew yeah I’m going with that. I do learn so much from you and I appreciate and value your generosity for sharing and the knowledge that is ever so useful so I will say thank you so so much. Don’t feel bad that I had to shut it down it’s my animal em pathology it’s over the top. I don’t want that to change tho. Many thanks for all the great work you do Marisa
Funny, cos I was renting a room inside a home where the Landlord was a Narcissist and the Roommate, & her daughter was too. One day it was Rent day and a few days before the Landlord had raised my rent by $220. more? So yes, the very day of the Rent I went to see a Studio Apartment in the morning and I told the Manager, "Do whatever you have to do, to get me approved and into the apartment today!" And he did, and even praised me for my good Credit that I had so worked on for years..🙂 the moved itself didn't go as smooth as it should have? But the bottom line was done quick, and all in one day! I was in this house 2 years and 6 months too long!
Marisa, this is an awful wish statement from her. I remember when I was pregnant my mother said to me: I wish you’ll give a birth to a disabled kid! guess what, her wish came true 😢 however, my daughter now is a delightful human being no matter what. Years ago I moved miles away from my mother and I very rarely even speak with her, as she’s still a detriment to anyone she is in touch with. Blessing to you for your teachings 🙏🏻🌟
.Marissa could you comment on people who believe that they can fix or change some one. They believe that once they are married somehow this will happen. I suggest that if there is something that you think about them that you can't live with you should never get. Married in the first place
Feeling used and taken advantage of is incredibly difficult, and it's understandable that it has led to feelings of depression. Get started on your journey to an abundant 2024 as an RTT Therapist. Book a call with one of our enrollment specialists here bit.ly/3FgyckV. Regards, Team Marisa
I hear what you say Marisa about listening but how do I stop it from it effecting how I feel? Some times it really drains me, I work in a hospital and also practice meditation which helps at the start of the day by the end Iam drained ❤
Unfortunately an ex narcissistic partner/father is NOT temporarely. They will go on forever to keep the family under control. Even if you do not let it in this behaviour is exhausting for all involved. 😢 they are forever on the hunt for energy and protecting your own energy and not letting it in asks for a tremendous control of your way of thinking
as a man I'm to soft i know you say change but my traits are my traits Melissa i bare my soul I was chasing someone and I allowed myself to be played but you know it's better to be happy on your own the thing is I have a certain type and in a small pond they hard to find do you know what I mean you can be happy but the pool is getting shallow💐👍
Marisa I read a quote about dealing with toxic people that I love - ‘it’s like trying to play chess with a pigeon - the pigeon is going to strut around the board sh!tting everywhere acting like it’s won anyway’.
What a great quote. It made us smile. Very accurate too. 💖 Marisa Peer Team
Love it 😍
Lol
Yes exactly that is how my family behaves!
Lol
Marisa, I hope you see this. You are an angel. Yesterday I left a toxic relationship. I have an anxiety disorder and I always felt like I was walking on egg shells. He was verbally abusive as well. I had left for over a year but went back thinking he had changed. You are so right. They don't change. I left a beautiful lifestyle but I'm now at peace. You have helped me so much. Thank you!
Well done for having the strength to change your situation. Sending you love and support, and a reminder that you are enough. 💖 Marisa Peer Team
Dear Matt. Reading your post to Marisa inspired me to make a few decisions regarding a toxic individual in my family. You've been to battle and you've won the war. You've reclaimed your power. Well done! Wishing you health, peace and love. Many regards, Di Redhead (South Australia).
@@dianneredhead2918 Thank you and best of luck to you!
I am proud of you ❣ I did this 8 years ago and now being as strong and happy as I felt unworthy and weak in that relationship.
@@linav4484 thank you so much.
One thing I've noticed with narcissists is they refuse to go to therapy. When someone tells me they would never go under any circumstances, it's a red flag for me.
As a child of a covert narcissist father I'm begging anyone in a relationship with one, DO NOT BRING A CHILD INTO THE WORLD WITH A NARC!! Listen to Marisa, leave, asap!!!
I grew up with narcissists parents and the toxic rippled effects slowed me down, hurt me, influenced many of my bad choices, work, relationships, friendshipd..etc... Many times I tried to step away from their powerful effect on me but they always made feel bad or guilty. Today, I finally took my distance trying to not let myself feel overwhelmed by guilt, manipulation, sadness, anger. They still don't understand and respect my needs. They still paint me as the black sheep of the family. Because I speak the TRUTH, I m AWAKE, I refuse their toxicity, I do not let them in.and affect me anymore. It takes strength and high awareness to do this. But I always focus on ME. I remind myself every day that I am worth being loved and acknowledged. I m rebuilding my SELF ESTEEM. Thank you Marisa for every word and advice you share with the world 🙏🏼❤ The pain is real in every one if us, so is HEALING. It's all a matter of DECIDING TO GET BETTER. it's all about SELF LOVE.
Props to you. Stand in your truth and don't look back. A beautiful life awaits you
truth. When i was terribly depressed and ill and i needed hugs and reassurance, my narcissistic husband asked me" why dont you just commit suicide? in this way we will both be happy!" . It took me all of my strength to go beyond this statement and regain my power but it brought me to my knees. When i later confronted him about why he said that, he told me that oh, he only wanted to shock me so i can snap out of it. Such sick people with such cold hearts. Sick, sick people.
Narcissists are in deep pain. They don’t deceive it as pain - they think of that as strength and project that to others around them making others miserable.
They are toxic. We are not strong or powerful enough to change them - because they do not wish to change. It will not happen. Get out. Do not hold the hope that they would change for the better. “Someone made them wrong.”
Yes, my ex was unpleasable, always critical. It was hard for someone who likes to make others happy. I could never succeed. I finally divorced him after 19 yrs of marriage. It was hard to start over, and it was tough on the kids. Apparently he was a covert narcissist.
Well done for changing your situation even though it was hard. Sending you love and support. 💖 Marisa Peer Team
Shine your own light and you’ll find more of it wherever you go ❤️
My mum & stepfather need to watch this video. My mum isn’t a narcissist but she has blamed me for her life choices & she sees me as the problem to her unhappy half life. She criticised me daily forever, I cut my losses 3 years ago
I was not allowed to do anything and like say she was planing to murder me and waned burning alive so I no how you fell she not here now she died 2 years ago on Christmas eve but I for give her
She is a pure narcissist to make you live her choices and misery,,while she is riding in her fantasy with stepfather...a covert malignant narcissist at it
You gave me a flashback.... I remembered, there was a family that loved me very much, they were well off had a beautiful house and for whatever reason, they loved me. and my mother said to me:' I wonder why they love you so much?? yep... that was my mom. I laugh now, because now I understand clearly... I didn't before. I am still very grateful to Nena, the amazing Matriarch of that family that embraced me. Thank You amazing Nena
It's like you are describing my mother! You are just the best Marisa! I wish you all the best in the world!
That’s really kind of you to say ❤️
Ditto.
I found out at 33 that I had a cut set narc mother, she tried to destroy me but I’ve won! I’ve gone no contact it’s the only way to be healthy 🙏
This reassures my decision to cut my mom off from any contact. At 52 my thyroid dr. said I had CPTSD and my mom sounded detached based on what I told her about my life (whilst in tears). 3 years of therapy and multiple treatment of EMDR, visualization & other modalities. I googled things my therapist's suggestions and ended up realizing the truth of my situation. Once I started changing my behavior and realizing I had no control over her or changing her and my relationship with her no matter how much/hard I tried. my mothers wrath only spiraled into much worse situations and treatment. I had to love myself enough to say "No more." Yes, it's sad and unusual but it was necessary for me to heal from years of abuse and trauma.
Your hardest times often lead to your greatest moments of your life. *Keep going.* Tough situations build strong people in the end. 💯🙏
Sad but true😰specially when it comes from your families😰😰😰
Dear Marissa, thank you for speaking about this topic. I used to have these kind of relationships, and always made me feel depressed . Happily not anymore. I also remember in my family , my father used to say: let’s not talk about it anymore. Same attitude with my uncles and some cousins .And I felt I left alone cause I needed to express myself. I came to understand my father’s fear of feeling pain. I loved him so much and I finally understood him better.
Thank you so much. You always help me to understand that I’m enough and I matter to many people . Lots of light and love for you 🌹🌈🎶
I'm going to work on not just jumping into solutions. I'm so empathic and sometimes when people have problems I just want them to feel better.
I'm going to make it a point to try to be really present and say things like "awww that's awful I'm so sorry that happened to you." And try to hold space without letting it in to me. Sometimes I struggle with boundaries and I am afraid that I will be the go-to person to dump all their stuff on because that has been a thing for me especially narcissistic family members. I feel like if you pull on my heart strings or cry I can get really sucked in. I'm going to practice though, I wish I understood the balance. I am a coach and so naturally I just want solutions for them for me for everybody.
I would love it if you made a video about how to hold space and how to have boundaries. Your work has helped me tons Thank you!
I divorced my ex husband 8 years ago as he was humiliating me all the time. For a long time I thought it was my fault as I let him treat me this way. Only after your video, realised that he is a narcisist. I am going through a rough times with my teenage daughter( she feels not enough and lonely). This helped me realise something. Thank you, Marisa! 😘
Hi Lina, you deserve so much more. Well done for putting yourself first and letting go of what made you unhappy.
Sending you love and support.
And a message for your daughter:
Write I Am Enough on your mirror, put it as a reminder in your phone, use it in your passwords...
Marisa explains that the most important words are the ones we tell ourselves.
You are very welcome to join the Masterclass and Marisa has this wonderful meditation as well:
ua-cam.com/video/qLhKXtjW8CY/v-deo.html
You are enough! ❤️
Marisa Peer Team
She just described my mother, exactly! It's no wonder....
Whenever I encounter a toxic person I remind myself that story of Marissa’s client, a posh lady and what she said to her toxic mother in law (if you know that story you know what she said ) and I say it my head. 🤗🤗🌸🌸
I know exactly which one you are talking about! Makes me chuckle when I think about it.
@@ajo7009 best story ever 😍🌸
Can you explain further please? Thanks! 😀
Because of you i ve changed dramatically my mindset for the better❣
That is wonderful to hear. Keep up the good work! 💖 Marisa Peer Team
Time to pack my bag soon Thank you Marisa great advice as always💖✨
You’re welcome ❤️ Sending you love and support. 💖 Marisa Peer Team
Me too! Good luck ❤️
The wounds narcissists create are so difficult to heal. It's really important to get help when one is overwhelmed, that's what I've learned during the last few years. Thank you for this empowering video, letting criticism slide is very difficult when it comes from parents or loved ones but I am getting better and better at it. I am learning to let go of feeling responsible if someone chooses to be cruel. I am only responsible for my choices and energy and I choose love. Thank you for the incredible work you do in the world, it makes me feel so happy to know you are impacting people and empowering their wellbeing.
That is because they JUST DON'T CARE about anyone else except themselves. Whatever wrong they do is considered their "right" and you can NEVER argue with them because they will turn around and make you feel guilty.
The lesson is NEVER fall in love with someone whom you notice has narcissistic traits and behaviour. Keep your distance and treat him/her as one of your friends/acquaintances but NEVER attempt to make him/her your lifelong partner.
Stay taking care of yourself by loving the way you are and recognizing your good points and work on them. Also pay attention to those who show you the love and respect you deserve. 🥰
@@claudiaarmah2389 Yes, you expressed it perfectly. ♥
Oh my word! That's my boss.... no wonder I'm so stressed out with him.
Great video, thanks Marisa. Always appreciated.
You're right, I don't know how or why but I've always had people trying to put me down, funnily enough I have always been the "happy-go-lucky" person in my circle, the thing is, why do so many narcissists cling to me?!!
Like, I'm honestly tired with all of this, and now I'm becoming a bit negative, though I still don't use others as punching balls thank goodness, I hurt myself though, and it's sad, I really feel like this cycle is keeping me trapped, it really is hard, now I'm even scared of new relationships, I'm having trust issues T^T
Honestly, I'm glad I got the awesome destiny of finding your channel and watching your videos, it really comforts me in my pain, thank you very much Mrs.Peer!
Thanks for reaching out. If you wish to seek additional therapeutic support, I would advise booking an RTT session with one of our specialist therapists who can discuss your concerns further. You can book this using the link below:
bit.ly/FAST-Booking-FB
Marisa Peer Team
@@MarisaPeer honestly, I would love to!
At the moment though, it might be a bit difficult, I will nonetheless be looking forward to the day I can book one haha!
We'd love to have you on board :)
Marisa Peer Team
I have to say it! I can't keep it to myself , you are a lovely person inside and out and at the end i realize why , you are a kind person. Sure there are many kind people that mean well but you have a deeper grasps , a better more clearer understanding of what kindness really is. I would say that other traits such as consideration allow you to view things from other peoples perspectives before applying the bandage. Your kind and deeply considerate Marisa Peer.
Thank you for explaining how toxic positivity works! Feeling grateful 🙏
You’re welcome ❤️
Thank you my husband is narsistic I separated myself Henie lives in nursing home smoking pot and all about him so I decided to stay with a woman friend it caused me health issues I gave him the power
Wow, so powerful, I grew up with this a a young child in foster care for 9 years.
Some parents are too toxic to stay in contact with , they can totaly mess you up and your life up ! Better off on your own sometimes , it’s a case by case basis
My angel Marisa🙏🏻❤️! you change my life . Gratitude to you forever
That’s really kind of you to say ❤️
4:06 PPP - Permanent, Pervasive, Personal
Is this problem permanent?
Is this problem all pervasive?
Is this problem personal?
5:33 We can cope with anything if it has an ending. Even pain. (Just don't say it's 'never gonna end) Look at when you decide to leave. Focus on the part this is going to end.
People need to be to feel heard. No toxic positive. it's important to feel. we can't Netflix our feelings away.
How can I help? Let me hear you out. That awful that you feel abandoned.
27:36 People want to be seen, like they matter. They don't want you to fix it or them. They want to hear what they want to hear. Im so sorry this is happening. This must feel terrible. It must be awful. How sad it must be to always be let down. Perhaps we can have a look at what's going on here?
30:33 'Kind Positivity '
Where is this coming from? How is it serving? You know, positive thinking could help with this? Can I help you to change just a few of your thoughts because it may help with the worry, hypochondria, anxiety, illness, etc.
Listen, Hear them, acknowledge them, and then gently introduce them. something
kindness, niceness, warmth, and empathy.
Never try it be superior and tell them the 'right way' because what's right for me might not be right for them.
Take control of my life, and make a choice not to let the critism in. Great advice. Thank you Marisa.
This is so eye opening Marisa!! My beautiful boy cat Louis was run over and his back broken and I felt so devastated and I feel guilty to this day that I didn't let him in as I went to bed early and I couldn't find him 😢 I realise that I've been doing this behaviour! OMGosh I'm stopping this behaviour as of now!! Thank you so much for this revelation xxx❤
I walk away from all family and friends who are toxic and perpetually negative. Why even engage these people? I know it’s hard to let go, but going back to their mid Pitt of destruction is not my problem. Life is to short to engage with these sort of folks!!
Hi, can you do a video on adult bullying, how to stand up to it and how not to believe any name calling insults people make about you?
I couldn't leave a narcissist and right now it's almost like it's too late. There nothing left from me, now even my body is failing...
I work with someone who seems to have sociopathic tendencies..she is nasty on the regular and is enabled by our bosses because on the outside, she is effective..other colleagues feel the same, but don't do anything because of the bosses' enabling and lack of accountability..
I think Imu healed my own narcissism with your RTT therapy because narcissism was trauma induced, and I healed the trauma. I now cry, and I never used to. I use was hurt statements instead of lashing out.
I always wake up with much physically pain and emotionally no pain in the morning. After my mother died, the mornings have been challenging.
Her voice makes me so calm😚
Thank you for saying so. 💖 Marisa Peer Team
Totally agree 💯 with you.
Happy people always want to sharing creating thrive together win/win game :)
Before I always think the positive things until meet some people who unhappy ☹️ they’re day to day life motivated in defeat others or make others life hard as possible!
Sometimes it’s not about you be positive help them……their deep chicken heart secret is watching you suffering.
evil do exist 👿 before I don’t believe! People are different, some people just like get enlightenment more than the darkness, but there’s someone living life must based on bullying others.
We can just be friendly except end up their crime ❗️
God bless you, Marisa. I love your videos & talks. You are a rock star❤
Thank you for your lovely comment ❤️
Marisa, I have anxiety disorder and ever since I had a big problem with my self-esteem, because of my negative childhood upbringing. Now when I start watching your advice, I do feel more hope! thank you!
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. The power of validating, holding space for & empathising with others. So important. Loved this, thanks Marisa.
It's so important and powerful when we do. So glad you agree, Elise 💖
Thank you madam Marisa peer, I love you once again thank you for your good teachings God bless you.
Thank you Marisa❤️ You are an angel! You've changed my life & empowered me. 🙏
I left my both parents and everyone i knew, all was bad people, now i been trough real traumas bc of bad people and im getting better and better, i am doing better without them wierdly! Im going towards happiness now i can feel it, i had so much pain for a long time, but i felt it and never ignored my feelings, i love myself for wanted to heal this so badly, my body and mind is amazing, it showed me the way to heal, when my soul is truly heal then i will fall madly in love with myself, and that is true happiness! Believe me, ive been there before so i have evidense in myself. Love yourself and everything good and amazing in life will come to you, everything will fall in place ❤ i felt that noone could be more happy than me, a beautiful strong love was inside me all the time, like i was with my true soulmate, everything was so beautiful and life was easy ❤
My biggest dream is for everyone to be happy. Then this world would be amazing, the true miracle this universe really is 💖
Thank you for sharing your experience. Sending you love and support. Remember: you are absolutely enough, just as you are. 💖 Marisa Peer Team
Right. That narcissist will drain the life out of you.
You deserve JOY
Marisa, you are so wonderful! I love to listen to your beautiful soothing voice. Always...always giving me the best advice to help me cope with myself! Thank you! You are the best!❤
That’s really kind of you to say ❤️
You are a pearl marissa ❤ a blessing for this World
Thank you for your kind words
Regards,
Team Marisa
Marisa, you are an amazing woman and I'm soo thankful for your videos and life lessons. My life is so much better since I am following your advice. Thank you so, so, so much for everything you do for this world to make it better.
You’re welcome ❤️
Finalize it! They always try to comeback! They want to ruin your life! Have some self respect! You will do much better!
They come back because no one wants them, not going to put up with their behavior,
This got me through a very hard day! Thank you so much x
I left, takes years to recover from such toxicity, but I learnt so much and can spot thees ppl a mile off now.
Sending you love and possitivity 💞 Its been 8 years and still recovering.
5 years for me, I'm just getting back to myself, gonna stop being a ppl pleaser and please myself. Sending ❤ love, light and positivity right bk at ya.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this advice. I’m having a tough time at work and this video has made me feel in control again. ❤
I DID THAT ALONG TIME AGO
Marisa, it’s easier said than done!!!!
You can do it. We believe in you. 💖 Marisa Peer Team
@@MarisaPeer Thanks
My Dad always said, I don't change and I don't apologize. And you know what, he was right, he didn't change and didn't apologize. Believe them. It's not easy but you really do need to get on with your own life and accept how they are, because they really don't think there's anything wrong with them - it's always someone else. It's sad, but very true. You aren't to blame, it's not your fault they are who they are and you can't fix it or them. Like my therapist said to me by our second session, they have faulty wiring. Brain damage.
Sometimes people are deeply set in their ways, and it’s not something we can change, no matter how much we may want to. It’s important to remind yourself that their actions aren’t a reflection of you or your worth. You deserve peace, and accepting them as they are is a big step toward creating that for yourself. 🙏🏻
Take care of this -next level- trap.
She would always come to me after the fight/break up telling me that she will change and work on her issues, BUT during every disagreement/fight or after we got together (once more) I was the one who was always wrong.. and this was a vicious cycle.. one of the many mental vicious cycles you have to deal with a narcissist..
Namaste marisa mam from india
You carry yourself so elegantly. And you're a lovely teacher. Thanks for your wisdom. You know Shakespeare was right the world is a stage and we're all actors. Narcissists are actually evil spirits within people. We are dealing with spiritual warfare. We are living in the end days. Ephesians 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
💯 I’ve felt negative energy coming from every narcissist even before they open their mouth first. Something didn’t sit right with me about them.
Thank you for another video. So helpful 🤗🤗🌸🌸
Wowderful. Dont let it in, smile and embrace youre day, with friends who celebrate you. Aroha Merrissa Peer, great caring, wonderful thought.
💖 Marisa Peer Team
Thank you!
The worst of all is when we have this judgmental and toxic talk inside our heads towards ourselves.
Yes I had to take the desicion
Judging is same as criticising . Acceptance is a standard
Narcissist are obsessive idealistic ,lack of self esteemed and stubborn . Love yourself
Sorry it was too graphic the story of the kitty was just too much for me I ran away from the video and I do hope it ended well. Since I don’t know if it ended well or not I’m going to decide it did end well kitty is fully recovered the dogs were repentant against their nature but learned a valuable lesson.they now volunteer with maimed cats recovery uk and we are rich & famous from selling the story. Whew yeah I’m going with that. I do learn so much from you and I appreciate and value your generosity for sharing and the knowledge that is ever so useful so I will say thank you so so much. Don’t feel bad that I had to shut it down it’s my animal em pathology it’s over the top. I don’t want that to change tho. Many thanks for all the great work you do Marisa
Funny, cos I was renting a room inside a home where the Landlord was a Narcissist and the Roommate, & her daughter was too. One day it was Rent day and a few days before the Landlord had raised my rent by $220. more? So yes, the very day of the Rent I went to see a Studio Apartment in the morning and I told the Manager, "Do whatever you have to do, to get me approved and into the apartment today!" And he did, and even praised me for my good Credit that I had so worked on for years..🙂 the moved itself didn't go as smooth as it should have? But the bottom line was done quick, and all in one day! I was in this house 2 years and 6 months too long!
HI Marisa, extraordinary advice. Thank you so much. You are brilliant. Much love.🤗❤
Thank you for your lovely comment ❤️
So so helpful thank u so much for all this knowledge love ya❤
After spending thanksgiving with my mother, I needed this. Thank you so much! 🙏🏼
Well done getting over your perants. My mum sounds like yours and like your dad too. Thankyou for your advice. Ann
You’re welcome ❤️
Haha you are so funny and elegant at the same time. Such a vison. 🙏❤️
Very good video
Hi, I enjoy your video's. I find them helpful. Thanks for doing them bless you
That's wonderful to hear. Glad you are finding them helpful. 💖 Marisa Peer Team
Red looks fantastic on you🥰
Marisa, this is an awful wish statement from her.
I remember when I was pregnant my mother said to me: I wish you’ll give a birth to a disabled kid! guess what, her wish came true 😢 however, my daughter now is a delightful human being no matter what.
Years ago I moved miles away from my mother and I very rarely even speak with her, as she’s still a detriment to anyone she is in touch with.
Blessing to you for your teachings 🙏🏻🌟
Thank you for sharing your experience. Sending you love and support. 💖 Marisa Peer Team
thank you so much God bless you ❤
Another great video Marisa ❤️
That’s really kind of you to say ❤️
.Marissa could you comment on people who believe that they can fix or change some one. They believe that once they are married somehow this will happen.
I suggest that if there is something that you think about them that you can't live with you should never get. Married in the first place
Feeling used and taken advantage of is incredibly difficult, and it's understandable that it has led to feelings of depression. Get started on your journey to an abundant 2024 as an RTT Therapist. Book a call with one of our enrollment specialists here bit.ly/3FgyckV.
Regards,
Team Marisa
Thank you
Marisa .., I love you
Thank you, 🤍
Great advice.💕💕💕
I am a Mother of a Narcisisstic adult daughter and I have grandchildren. You didn’t touch on that one 😢😢😢
Thank you Marisa :) Much love . 999 likes with angels
Great❤ May I ask what to say if someone you love and find beautiful say they are ugly? Many thanks :)
Please turn the volume up on your videos so we can all hear it.
I hear what you say Marisa about listening but how do I stop it from it effecting how I feel? Some times it really drains me, I work in a hospital and also practice meditation which helps at the start of the day by the end Iam drained ❤
Develop deep belief that you are enough no matter what anyone says
excellent
Unfortunately an ex narcissistic partner/father is NOT temporarely. They will go on forever to keep the family under control. Even if you do not let it in this behaviour is exhausting for all involved. 😢 they are forever on the hunt for energy and protecting your own energy and not letting it in asks for a tremendous control of your way of thinking
You are talking about my mother, she is so negative, toxic not word word comes out good from her mouth
*Limit it* 🙏❤️
as a man I'm to soft i know you say change but my traits are my traits Melissa i bare my soul I was chasing someone and I allowed myself to be played but you know it's better to be happy on your own the thing is I have a certain type and in a small pond they hard to find do you know what I mean you can be happy but the pool is getting shallow💐👍
Dear Marisa,
After learning how to deal with toxic people,
Can we learn how to Master Spark?
Best regard.
You mentioned in your video where some-one says "I look awkful". What is the best way to respond to this?