My journey with Trichotillomania & Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior
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- Опубліковано 27 січ 2022
- Hello lovely viewers, I hope all of you are having a smooth week so far. On today's episode I talk a little bit about some of my BFRBs that I have--specifically my hair pulling and my lip biting. I've had this for many years now and have tried so many different behavioral adjustments to try to stop the pulling and biting. All to say, some work better than others and that you can never truly "stop" but only transform how, where, the extent, and how often you partake in these repetitive behaviors. I don't necessarily believe that people should teach themselves to stop their BFRBs but to figure out a way to stim how they want and need to without harming themselves/others. And I think it's totally possible to do so! It just may take time, openness to explore, and the acceptance of yourself & your needs.
With that being said, I wanted to talk about two specific products that has helped me with my hair pulling and lip biting. Although these products don't completely stop the BFRBs it does help! Hopefully it can help some of you out there as well, or at least open you up to trying it out.
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ADHD & Autism Uncovering Your Stims Workbook
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I know exactly what you are describing with the “crinkly hairs”! I could almost even hear a noise coming from them when I ran them between my fingers. Then they’d get even more crinkly and tempting the more I pulled pieces of them out. I would also look for little knots in my hair and pull out hair below them. The damaged hair is growing back but is shorter than the rest. Luckily this all took place with my bottom layer of hair. I still find sensory comfort in pulling strands hair out of my carpet but I guess it’s better than my head. My most soothing stim is also rubbing specific fabric textures
crinkly or bumpy ones!
I can SO relate to the satisfaction of feeling the courser hair and pulling it through my fingers after pulling it from my scalp. I think I too have felt the hair with my lips, but have no desire to eat it.
your condition is the same as me too
It’s started for me in 6th grade too. I have bald patches but I. CAn cover, as on my crown. It is soothing for me now.
I believe it started from my anxiety from my parents divorce.
I don’t hate on myself for it. But I wish I could stop. It’s been decades now.
👑
Me too bad anxiety 😢plus I have Scoliosis which is inflammation of the curves. So.i take NaC which reduces inflammation and now I wonder if that will help me.
I have started from 6th grade also
try hypnosis dear
whoa we have the EXACT same trich behaviors, I feel so understood 💜
Same!
Thank you so much for talking about this and I especially related to the teachers looking down on you/ bullying you to "just stop". I started when I was 7 years old and in 4th grade I got a buzz cut and I was given special permission to wear a baseball cap. EVERY DAY there was a different teacher or substitute telling me to take it off and I would tell them I had special permission, and they wouldn't believe me until another teacher nearby confirmed. Some teachers are the absolute best support systems and some teachers are the worst bullies a child can have.
I'm blown away by how much our trich is the same. I was never diagnosed as a kid, and have just been coping alone/ recently with a general therapist. This is such an inspiration to restart my search for a diagnoses and more help!
I feel such a deep shame for my hair pulling. My mom and brother has been shaming me for it since I was 10 years old, I'm 17 now. When u talked about not caring about it and doing it in public, it kind of calmed me. I think it would be way easier for me to stop if ppl just didn't look down on me for doing it.
My trich started when I was five. It was a nightmare, because people did not know about it in the 80s or 90s - if they did, no one talked about it. I felt a compulsion to pull hair in specific areas and became obsessed, while I wanted to stop, because I knew I was different, people I did not know would comment on how beautiful my hair was - I had this big secret and felt very ashamed. Fast forward to being a teenager: I started getting mental health treatment and was prescribed antidepressants - for me, I thought that this was a cure, only it did not work or give me any relief, so I took more and almost died - so, I am happy that you gave everyone knowledge that medication will not stop you from pulling out your hair. Thank you for this video and for the product info - they sound great.
I never eat the hair but I definitely put it in between my lips to feel the texture :( incredible how all of us have almost the exact same urges and want to pull out the same hairs. I just wanna be rid of this nightmare.
try hypnosis dear its expensive but 100 percent works
Only 5 mins into the vid and you've described the feeling and progressive nature of the habit in a way that had me locked in to the bone, i don't think anyone could've explained it better.
It's been very hard these days. I have been pulling my hair out since 2012. And I shaved my head 4 times but everytime my hair grew longer I would start pulling. I have had a very rough pulling period today. And this entire week, I have been pulling from just one spot. Now I was crying but seeing your video really comforted me and motivated me again to stop pulling. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Wish you and all those trichotillomaniac friends much strength, will power and patience to overcome this habit.
Are u from India..?
I find myself in the same exact boat right now. This video has calmed me down a bit! I feel validated by it and all the comments. I hope you’re doing well, my friend 🤙🏽💛
Thank you. I really needed to know that I am not alone with this.
Thank you so much for sharing this!💖 I have struggled to explain my own experience to close loved ones and hearing about yours makes me feel way less alone in the struggle to stop this behavior. 🥺
I‘m so glad i am not the only one with a similar Trichotillomania as you❤ Stay strong😊
I am so glad I found this video. It all started for me when I grew up having a traumatic childhood and emotional abuse cut short to last few years in my school around 9th grade I was severely bullied for my weird appearance and had extreme academic pressure and unsupporting environments and I fell in depression and used to be anxious all the time. In the last four year I have shaved my head twice because I feel normal from not pulling because I did not have hair at all...but it relapsed as the hair grew back and I could grip on it to pull. My most affected area is the crown, mid scalp and the frontal region. It is stressed induced and has same triggers as you mentioned in the video only difference is I consume the hair roots (also a reason why I am tempted to pluck my hair) Not having the privelege to live with a mop of hair and being shamed for it was really difficult to get through, but I am learning to love myself and accept that it's part of me and girls that have BFRBs.
Sending you love and strength from India❤
This video made me realize I may of had it in my childhood. When I was younger I’d pull my hair, because I’m black and have 4c hair it was very easy for me to pull my hair without people noticing immediately because of how thick my curls were. I don’t know why or when I started, but I’d start feeling around for a specific texture of hair and would pull them apart. It got worse in middle school. There were hairballs underneath whatever desk I was at, and my mom started to notice. My locs would sometimes fall out in class because I’d keep pulling. I started developing a bald spot, it got so bad during the summer of 2020 that I went from having 70 locs to 8. I had to cut my hair. I’m not sure what in my life changed but I don’t do it as often. I’ve always wanted to grow out my Afro and embrace my natural hair and I’m finally able to do that. I still have moments where I pick at it but it isn’t as bad. I love the texture of my hair and touch it often.
Interesting. I have 4c hair as well. I can't say when it started but I noticed it when I was in college had gone natural, and being stressed during exams I ended up with a pile of curls from me pulling out tangles, not so gently or breaking off fairy knots. I always was frustrated with breakage and it took so long for me to notice that I was possibly doing something wrong. Glad that you are doing better too.
ah wow, another video of yours that is so similar to me. i'm so glad i found you today and subscribed. i've struggled with trich since 2005, it first came around when my grandpa died, then followed by my cat 2 months later. i pulled so much around the area where i already had alopecia that it made a tiny coin sized bald patch to a massive fist sized bald patch at the back of my head. it was embarassing, people at school obiously noticed it through my thick hair when i tied it up, thankfully no one was too ruthless with me. in 2009 when i left school and went to college it progressed to me pulling my eyelashes and eyebrows, i had no top eyelashes and no eyebrows until i somehow managed to stop around the end of 2017. i'm going through some health issues currently and i've noticed myself falling back in to old habits this last few weeks, the outer edges of my top eye lashes are getting bare, i'm trying so hard to stop but i always need to be doing something with my hands.
you describe the crinkling texture of hair so well, I am constantly seeking that crinkley hair i have a specific few strands that appear every so often. and I think the pain of the hair being pulled is also a good feeling in a way.
It's great that you have pulled less and kept your hair healthy. I pulled for many years before even realizing this was a condition that many suffer from, I did not know what it was called. I now know, great video
I can’t get over how much I relate to this! Everything you described with how you would single out that certain textured hair and pull it out. With me, when I pull them out, I used my teeth to run it through and I would bite off the follicle. My hair is thinning and I am scared I’ll never stop. The back of my head specifically is the thinnest
I also have this since I was in the first grade. It started with eyelashes then disappeared and came back in 5th/6th grade with scalp pulling and I have struggled with it since then and am 42 now. i also have dermatillomania related to my acne that i have had since i was a teenager as well and, unfortunately for me, acne has persisted into my adult life, so i continue to struggle with that as well. i also have suspected i'm autistic for about a year and a half and relate SO MUCH to this and your content. ❤.
This blew my mind. I didn't even know that pulling hair had a name, but I guess it makes sense; everything has a name these days... I can relate to this a lot. As I began letting my hair grow longer I just automatically began puling it. I started doing it Before sleeping and you can guess what the floor next to me bed looks like. It's really hard to control because it feels so good in a certain manner. Now I'm more conscious about it and I'm desperately trying to stop. I'm trying to replace hair pulling with other stims that are harmless. I have a long history of unhealthy repetitive behaviours. I always managed to suppress things like picking your skin and chewing your fingernails but what I didn't know at the time is that you can't suppress the urge itself, so every time I unconsciously developed new stims that sometimes were just as bad. I could literally write a book about my stims. This is the first time I consciously make the decision to replace a bad stim with a good one and I wonder what it's gonna look like a couple years time, but I'm hopeful. Although I'm still surprized at how quickly I go into hair pulling mode without even being aware of it, the wellbeing of my head (literally) is paramount. I'm gonna give my best.
What sticks do you use? I can’t use fidget toys because I can’t remember to take them everywhere, and it can’t be too disruptive either. I’m really struggling to find a good replacement
@@skitterly I also never used fidget toys but I do play around with small objects if they are in reach.
Since last month I've made a concious effort to tap my fingers more and it noticeably reduced my Tricotillomania. I still pull my hair sometimes out of habit but not even half as much as I did earlier.
Whenever I do so, I limit myself to only pulling away the hairs that already detached naturally and that sometimes land on clothes.
I also like to the feeling of cotton fabric under my hands, particularly when toucing the seams.
I will often rub one of both palms slowly against my trouser legs or hold the bottom of my t-shirt between the fingers and caress it with the seam running under the fingernails. It's very soothing for me.
Whenever I'm sitting at a table I stim with my legs and feet, usually tilting them in various directions in a repetitive manner.
Pulling and pushing against a stable, solid object can also do the trick. Keeps the muscles busy.
And I often scratch myself too, especially my head and my arms when I'm wearing a shirt with short sleeves.
I did not give up pulling at my beard, though, and probably never will. It doesn't really hurt to begin with.
I tried rocking sometimes and it works; I actually find it very effective when dealing with stressful situations, perticularly if employed simultaneously with other stims, though I don't expect it to be a welcomed behaviour in the workplace.
@@patrivolta2484 thanks, I’ll give that a try
This was so relatable and helpful.
Thank you so much for sharing your story, it really spoke to me❤️
I personally struggle with a very similar BFRB called Trichotemnomania. In this case I don't pull my hair but I have the constant need to check and trim my hair, being obsessed with it being "even" and getting the compulsion whenever I'm stressed out!
These compulsions are hard to deal with and I totally get what you're saying, the urge to just find the right bit to pull/to cut is ever present and once I started my "rituals" I cannot interrupt them until I'm satisfied.
Currently coming to terms with my behaviour and trying really hard to overcome it or just be ok with and find other distractions in times of stress.
So thank you very much for sharing your history with a BFRB it helped a lot!
Lots of love to you from Germany🦋❤️
Thank you for sharing your experience🧡
OMG THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO I FEEL LESS ALONE.
I do exactly the same thing! I find the coarsest kinky hair and the bigger the white bulb the more proud I felt, those ones felt so good! Esp if a part of my head was sore I'd pull from that part it felt the best, I would play with it and shred the hair with my nails...i started at 8 and In a, 35. Still do it, I pull from the crown...
My trich is most likely hereditary. My mom would tell me my dad had a hair pulling problem and she thought it was cringy/funny. She made me aware of my behavior in a chill comical way ❤ only thing that stops me is seeing bald spots and them taking months/years to grow back 😭 my left side of my edges was GONE and took yearssss to grow back! Never again.. on that side at least. 😅 Thank you for sharing your story with me❤
OMG i want more of such motivational vids
i don't pull out my hair but i pick at my skin, sometimes until it's bleeding. i peel dry skin from my lips until they're raw. if i feel a little bump on my skin i'm gonna pick at it until it's smooth even if the bump isn't there.
I have this issue. I got it in the 4th or 5th grade. I’m 36 now and finally at a point where I just don’t get triggered to pull like I used to. But now my hair is growing back very thin. It’s so discouraging that I finally have stopped my triggers from pulling, and now my hair won’t grow.
It’s great. It will.
I’ll tell you how hair grow work. When like 50 pieces of hair pulled out in one spot, derma won’t reproduce vitamins or etc to grow it, because they won’t be things to feed. It’s like ground and big tree. And doesn’t matter if hair was pulled out with white tip. Hair will grow because it skin and it’s meant to be there. Darsonval and some working things like plasma will help to blood circulating well. Or hair transplantation to help others hair grow back. There a lot of ways to do it. Don’t worry
Thank you. I've relapsed for the nth time just recently.
hey i’m a kid and i have this, no counselling rn though, i relate to this so much, but it’s getting better now. instead of pulling out my hair on my scalp, i’ve switched to my arm hairs to lessen the damage. hair is growing back but half of my hair is way shorter than the other half
this made me feel so much better. i have 3 big bald spots, they made me feel horrible about myself. I look down at the ground after a class period to find a pile of hair. A teacher a day ago told me to stop. That made me feel worse. I need to find something else to do instead. Fidgets don’t work and nail biting isn’t enough, i just get bored and pull and pull and pull. I search through my hair for the crinkly pieces
Therapy and also tell yourself it hurts when you doing it. Tell yourself what you feel and get enough will to stop. You are or your worst enemy or best friend
Be a person who won’t let yourself do this, protect yourself
Omgggg i doooo the same thing sometimes i can pass an hour doing that without realising i look for split ends tooo i get the hair that are cringy and i look for them tooo and me too is in my back i only heard about tricholitomania about a month ago i have been doing this since forever i am diagnosed with adhd since im young but i do have traits of sutism and ocd and addictive disorders when i research about it in my adult life anyways i understand exactlyyy what you are saying thank you i feel not alone
I have trichotilomania too, i feel you
Omg I love you .xoxo believe me I am ashamed of pulling my hair. . Ty though. Ty.
Here because I don’t know what to do. For the first time I feel understood almost like you were talking about me
I have been pulling front age 7yrs.... I found out by accident that when I started having acrylic nails, I wouldn't pull. I was good for 16 yrs....
I did away with acrylic nails when I went to work overseas I couldn't have the nails and I started pulling again.... for the last 11 years I have been pulling so the nails are back on again. My heaD is now full of hair again. That's my story... 🙂
How long does it take for the hair to start growing back?
Been struggling with this since I was 9 years old, mostly focus on my eyebrows and eyelashes. I've recently gotten sick of using makeup to hide my missing hairs instead of using it to enhance what I have. I've been trying wearing gloves when I read or watch TV to prevent pulling. When the urge to pick rises I rub my hands together for 1 minute to train my body to do that motion instead of picking. Three full days of not a single hair pulled! Probably my longest stretch ever!! (totally picked up a few of those lip tints as well to curb the lip biting - the colors are soooo pretty!)
Omg it’s like you’re talking about me, all the details and behaviour. That’s very very strange to share this much. It’s not a coincidence, don’t what it is.
ur youtube photo for this video is exactly how my hair is now. bald spot in the back. ugh i wish i had the will power to
Omggg knowing that other hair texture experience the same thing 😭😭😭 plsssss ur experience felt very familiar
My story is almost identical to yours, I’m still in Highschool and I have never met someone with the disorder and the crinkly hair is so real, I didn’t pull for a year or two and I have no idea how but something last year caused me to pull again, and then like the shame of pulling increased my anxiety which then made me pull more and now I have like no hair 💋
Thanks for this! Super helpful and relatable. has your hair grown back on those spots that you used to pull? If so how long? I am so scared I caused permanent damage :( your hair now looks so healthy
Yes! But I must say the spots where I pulled the most is more sparse than other parts of my head. I’ve also permanently pulled out spots of hair in other parts of my body & the hair hasn’t and wont ever grow back. I think what’s worked is finding a ‘stim’ to help satisfy your hands so that you can concentrate on that rather than pulling. Everyone is different, but for me crocheting has been such a big relief!
@@thethoughtspot222 thanks for your reply! Yeah I am not touching this spot of my scalp now.. will wait and hope the hair grows back. Have you tried needling for those spots before?
I have trich, but I pull at my eye brows and eye lashes, and i never can tell I'm doing it until I pull it out. . And once I do I roll it in my fingers. It used to be just my eye lashes which started in 1st grade then it went on and on and once i got to 5th I started pulling my eye brows and I honestly can't stop. I once stoped for a few months, but once school started up again I'm right back into it due to how stress full school is. And I honestly don't know what to do
Just started doing this a month ago and realized how thin my hair is getting lol. No bald spots though, I pull them out from everywhere.
Begging you to stop asap, I lost my whole top crown of hair due to trich and am still growing it back, stop while it’s easy, even a year in
With my dermotilomania/pika i would rip my skin off and put that skin in a box for later so i didnt have to keep picking at my skin later when i had the urge again its super weird i had a box of human flesh like what and it would get dryed out idk i think its weird and i know people think its creepy
Same OMG how I feel my crinkling hair
How long does it take for the hair to start growing? I have a bald spot and it hasn’t start growing yet and it’s been two months😢
This is the same pattern as mineee
So relatable....people used to make fun of me also ...i am so depressed i was so beautiful but now everything is just 😢😢😢
Hi can I talk to u regarding this
glad i'm not alone😭🤍
honestly i just had a horrible pulling episode and pulled out so much hair and i'm feeling terrible now😭💔
Ellie, I am really struggling now as well! I've been dealing with trichotillomania for years, and this is one of my worst episodes (if not the worst one). I've been growing my hair out, and it's the longest it has been for a lot of years. Now, I'm ruining it by pulling it out. I have 2 bald spots. I'm so sad about it, but continue to pull!😢
I just pulled out a huge spot yesterday. Just remember you are loved with hair, with a little bit of hair, and with no hair at all. You will get through this❤️
I pull out my eyelash's and eyebrow 🥲
It’s those rough feeling ones and thicker looking one’s that I pull out haha but I watched a video yesterday and now I’m cured. She told me just not to pull them out and it’s all will power. U just gtta say no! Lol
It’s always 4-6 grade when it starts.. I wonder why. Prolly because those are the scariest
hello sis ! is there any way to recover bald areas on my head? And will they grow the same way again?? How much time would it take? I am extremely worried .And i really want to treat it before my mother notices .
I have unfortunately the habit of schrathing my scalp, and have some spots with very short hair, its been scrubbed of by nail schrathing, some times you can see it, i have ADHD, i did have a peripd years ago when i scratched away part of my eyebrows, its good i stopped woh that, it was very visible. Its hard to stop scratching my scalp though, anyobe else whi does this?
I noticed I havent pull while I was always full like with snacks and other gratifications chips and other oral foodie especially full stomach with fav food was comforting to me and I didnt pull
Does anyone use products for hair? Does it work? Is it useful?
Mine occurs when I’m studying
My name is komi. I am 13 and I have trichotillomania. I need tips on how to stop pls help me
guys please try hypnosis I am the victim of it too, an d after many years I became myself psychologist and hypnotherapist it really does work to stop as soon as its not too late
Anyone know why i suddenly can easily pull a strand from a follicle? The keratin bulb and everything. Slides right out...
How you grow back your hair Where you have bald patches in your head?
I'm 55 and my hair is so sparse I shaved my head twice. My other me and my granddaughters when she's 5didthis😢😢😢😢
I’ve been doing this since I was 9 years old and my therapist says it a form of self harm but to me it’s not self harm…
Interesting. I think it’s diff for everyone! I thought it was something I did when I was anxious, but my Psychologist who diagnosed me said it was moreso a repetitive behavior which resonates w me more!
I think a lot of people can mistaken or write off stimming behaviors as “self-harm” which can be ignorant
I have trichotillomania too 😢 since 2008. I can't grow my hair. 😢😢😢
I am still struggling trying not to pull my hair out of my skull but I failed i am in 6th grade and people are going to notice soon of later the spaces that's in my hair and i am afraid to get bullied so idk what to do i am really struggling i really dont know what to do, if anyone could help me figure out how to stop doing that please share it with me cuz i cant stop doing it and the worst thing that i am doing is that i am pulling my hair out of my skull from the roots and i am not crazy but i feel relaxing and i feel that i am taking all of my bad feelings and the stress by pulling my hair and see the white thing that comes with it , please help me and inform me with ideas to stop doing that
So with your diagnosis, what can be done about it? doctors always want to throw pills at diagnosis. Just wondering if there is a natural way to curb the craving. I do the same things.
21:30 23:35 24:25
IMO first at all is OCD not trated since small years, second trauma, demanding controlling mother, father alcoholic; to me it was a self defence mechanism. So manu lies about reason of not having hair. Since my primary school untill 3 university degrees.... lies lies lies.....its terrible ....I have destoyed myself my apperanc efor the best tile of my life ... I feel sad about myself. But I am happy I got over
Wtf u described the crinkly hairs exactly like I do
I stopped pulling my hair since I would pull it on this one spot but my hair is thinning everywhere now it's so odd I'm falling into a deep state of depression I feel like a total fool for ruining my youth.(it's been a while since I've stopped)
@😁sumo😁 hatred on myself and how my hair was becoming increasingly thin at such a young age it tore me apart to constantly try and hide the bald patches while comparing my hair to others is what ultimately drove me to stop
@😁sumo😁 if you want to keep damaging not only your hair but your life then feel free to keep pulling its best to stop personally I stopped as soon as I realized I was ruining my hair unfortunately it was too late leaving my hair ruined so by all means stop before it gets worse or irreversible
@@sumo624 then control it simple don't let yourself be controlled by your head "unconsciously" control yourself
@😁sumo😁 now its on you to stop 🫵
@@ze1648 yes i will stop it
I thought I'm the only one 🙆♀️
I hate it😢
I have this condition I've been misdiagnosed it started when I stopped taking my Xanax for anxiety I also have Lupus low anemia I literally had my nose bleed out tonight it was affected my life my social anxiety my boyfriend died in my arms about so many years ago the stress and depression I put my body through life destroyed my life my hair goes to ribbon like axis stitching painfulness wrapping around not bobble hair you name it the pictures I can show people would make f****** people sick it's literally wrapping room it's cold sometimes so painful the release and attention from unwrapping it's tangled up here I don't know what to do this point I see your shampoo and conditioner in the back of you and I do use that I literally don't know what to do at this point
A guy pulked my hair it looks like bald does it regrow🥹
Omg not the split ends
Why everyone grew this decease in 6th grade ? 😭
I was in 8th grade
probably puberty
@@hellicify damnn maybe
@@SilverHawk214 right now I'm in 8th
And I grew again
@@SilverHawk214 I first time experienced it in 6th grade but in 7th grade, things were much normal cause I cutted down all my hairs ( I completely went bald ) , but now in 8th grade , I'm again experiencing this horrible thing
Get yourself a lighter ..take those "special hairs" ..and light those roots it is very satisfactory..
I got this now I have short hairs in the back 😢
A guy pulked my hair it looks like bald does it regrow🥹
A guy pulked my hair it looks like bald does it regrow🥹
A guy pulked my hair it looks like bald does it regrow🥹