well actualy thats exactly why im here , i have a gorgeous friend but she thinks that she is ugly and that makes me angry and it shouldnt cuz she is suffering from an awful disease
@@mohammadmehdinasiri8905 Me too I had a friend like that, she would wear baggy clothes and all. I asked her, ''do you think I'm fat?'' She said no, then I told her (because she kept telling me her thighs were big), ''your thighs are the same size as mine'', and we actually mesured it and it was around the same size.
Exactly - I was about to say. She is so pretty and when she wrote the diary she was pretty as well. This shows that BDD can happen to anyone and its something so many people struggle with. Some people think 'Oh no, she couldn't of had BDD' or something like that but it can literally happen to ANYONE and I think more people need to be aware of that. You are so strong Melanie ❤️
Whenever that little voice in my head starts telling me that my body doesn't look good, I remember of all the times that I've heard my friends saying the same things about their bodies and I thought they were crazy because to me they look perfect, but it made me frustrated to realise that they don't see themselves as I do, and they are beautiful. Remembering this makes me feel better, because it makes me realise that they also see me like this... They think I'm beautiful even when I think I'm not. Thanks for the lovely video Melanie
I can't believe I found you here, Violet. Everytime I watch your videos, all I can think about is that I wish I looked like you and how perfect your face is. Kind of ironic.
I have severe BDD. When I leave my house all I can think of is my face and how ugly I feel it is. I ask myself every day why do I have to struggle with this terrible mental illness. It never goes away, it's always lurking and ruins my days. I want to break free already. The meds work to a certain degree but I can't keep on going like this. This isn't life and this is not what I want.
You are not alone. I struggle with the same self-sabotaging beliefs. Have you tried seeing a therapist who can do cognitive behavioral therapy? Medication + CBT will work much better than medication alone. I don’t take medication, but I would have to say that therapy alone helps me enough. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and I hope you find peace.
I haven't tried CBT yet but I think this is not going to help me cause I already have good insight when it comes to BDD. Thank you for this comment though
I started crying during this video. I didn't know the symptoms of BDD. and I relate to nearly all of them. I'm still afraid to tell anyone how I truly feel. But this was a wonderful video
I feel ugly all the time it's always in my head. I want to tell my therapist this, but I'm scared. And btw my therapist is beautiful then there's me a ugly patient. Many times I've cried because of this. Many people in social media ask me "How do you look like?" And then I come up with some excuse then I feel even more worse and uglier.
Idk.org0 Im sorry u had to go through this. It would be good if should tell your terapist tho cause thats their job to help you remeber that! I have the same problem I feel u. No pressure u can just think about it :).
I’m not gonna self diagnose yet but the fact that I’m crying is proof enough how much mental pain I’ve gone through. I feel like I’m in a cycle of trying to find acceptance it’s just so tiring and draining.
It honestly feels like every day I wake up, I find something new wrong with my body. It used to be how skinny I was, it moved on to my unsymmetrical face, my dark under eyes, my patchy red skin. Then my flat bum. I’ve tried all the at at home workouts, I’ve watched all the loving yourself videos, the self confidence videos and I still feel like the most ugly, disgusting person to walk the planet. I sabotage all my relationships because I feel inadequate and not worthy and now I feel alone. I’m so lost
Honestly, same. There are days when is not that hard but others where i spend 30 minutes looking at myself in the mirror and planning all the cosmetic procedures i SHOULD do. Living like this is something i do not wish upon my worst enemy
I relate to this so much. There's always something different to hate about my body - everyday it looks different. Recently, it's been everything about my face :( I've had weeks where I spent hours in the bathroom, poking and adjusting myself in the mirror. I'm better now but it's still lurking with me everywhere I go.
@@ferrarasabrina hi just reading your comment breaks my heart - and also makes me feel less alone I thought I was the only person going through this. Is like hearing my thought thru a different person.🥺 strength and faith to get through this.
it literally feels like a living hell and every second of my life is consumed by it, sometimes im just tired i dont even remember or think ik how to not live like this, crazy too how yea its the exact same thoughts
Body dysmorphia actually makes me socially anxious and awkward because I'm always wondering what people think of me and I always check the mirror and check myself in reflections and my every thought is about my appearance especially worse in school this video made me cry a little because I relate so much to it and it helped me realize I'm not alone on this thank you so much ♥️
I wish you can recover from this mental illness . I only suggest you get a therapist and talk. Thats the only solution I can think off. And avoid social apps like tiktok and Instagram.
Literally grabbing at my stomach without even thinking while watching this. I do body checks constantly. I’m looking in the mirror at my stomach constantly. I don’t want to live like this forever.
SO proud of you of this video, it's something i have suffered with for years. I don't think it will ever leave me but i do know that I can trick my brain and my mindset into seeing what other people see. xxx
I can not even imagine sitting in front of a camera and talking. I would die from shame fron looking at myself. I litteraly can not even imagine looking at myself like that. Just the shape of my head and my facial expressions and way my eyes look and just fucking everything. I could not stand having to make my brain see how I look
I failed my oral exam because of this! We had to record our answers in a 10 minute video. Long story short, I cried my eyes out all day and ended up sending my prof an email at 2am, telling her that I was struggling mentally. I cant forget this day.
@@florivalentina3400 it's a rollercoaster - there are good days and bad ones. But I have taken the first steps for therapy so I guess I'm finally getting the help I need and most importantly deserve 💓
When I was a young teenager I think I had BDD, I couldn't leave the house without staring at myself in the mirror for hours tearing myself apart, thinking I was huge when I was the smallest i've ever been. Those feelings do still resurface occasionally but I just call them "my fat ugly days" because I know now that i'm not fat or ugly and it's all in my head on days when I have low self esteem. The thing that brought me out of it that I still think of all the time was my mum saying "when you're lying on your death bed, you're going to look back and regret wasting time, missing out on things and not enjoying things because you're too busy worrying about your appearance when it's experiences that matter most" or something along those lines and that really stuck with me!
In particular with the intersection of BDD and EDs, it's funny how so many of us were "at our smallest" when we felt the worst about ourselves. It's very telling and sad. I'm still struggling to learn the difference between wanting to lose weight to feel and look better in a healthy way, versus because I hate myself and am using food restriction as a misguided form of control. I'm glad that teenagers now have people like Melanie to look to for support and an introduction to a problem they may not even be aware they have.
I totally agree with you, I never even realised I had BDD fully until I watched this video and now I realise I had it for many years of my life. I seemed to think how I felt was normal for my age but it really wasn't!
I had the same experience! Your video just made me realize! Mine was connected with a history of anorexia, I don't know which one came first. I thought it was normal to be like that, wen you are in your teens. Constant checking your body, scratching your skin open, and the thoughts! It totally takes over your life, you can not think about anything productive or positive :( maybe also a way to cope with stress?
Aria Targaryen As I got older I naturally got more confident, especially moving out of home and having to be an adult helped me gain confidence. Another thing was realising what matters in life is experiences and happiness, looks are fleeting and don't last and at the end of the day no one actually cares about your weight same way we don't look at other people and over analyse their bodies. Everyone is too busy worrying about their own problems to be thinking about how you look. I also didn't want to waste anymore time thinking about it, crying, staring in the mirror and tearing myself apart, life is short and there is so much more you could be doing. It was a long process of a good few years to overcome it, it won't happen overnight but all of these things helped me overcome it :) Of course I still have unconfident days where I feel I look terrible and say i'm fat etc but it's not every day now. Good luck trying to change! The first step to change is realising you want to :) Hope this was helpful!
I’ve recently just heard about BDD. I just thought it was normal to suffer with these constant thoughts. I feel so stuck like I’m never going to be free of this. I’m crying currently because I’m so lost on where to go now. I don’t think I will ever appreciate or like the way I look no matter what I do to change myself. It’s depressing.
🌹Stay strong, you're not alone. I've heard people with BDD say it helps to try to focus on what your body does rather than what it looks like. If you have healthy lungs, ears that can hear, eyes that can see, working sweatglands, a musculoskeletal system that walks? These things were all left to chance, and if your body is in working order that is something to celebrate and concentrate on! You're here for a reason, and that reason is not simply to be beautiful like a lifeless decoration.
i feel like my body is not mine it’s not fair why... why can’t i feel comfortable with myself alone in my room when no one else is watching when i have on baggy clothing when i’m under the covers, when i take a shower, when i go to the pool, when i look at pretty girls. why do i judge my body so much, the body that tries to keep me alive everyday. why do beauty standards affect everyone in a bad way but are still so popular
Melanie.. same. I'm crying, I've suffered for a long long time. I'll be 33 in 2 weeks and I have hated myself and stayed alone in my room for many many years. Being away from people and wanting desperately to be around them.
I'm 30 years old, and I've been struggling with my body image all my life. I'm trying to be kind to myself, to stop beating myself up, but is really difficult. It's helpful listening to other people stories on this problems. Thanks for sharing your experience
I've always felt like this and never realised what was wrong with me and my friends and family have always just called it "low self esteem" as they don't understand the disorder. Really appreciated this video, thanks x
That diary entry is EXACTLY how I feel 😔 I have BDD too it's HORRIBLE I have acne and am overweight your younger self reminds me of exactly how I feel RN ✨ Thank you for making this it's inspired me so much you give me hope ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
"The voice in the back of my head". This hit me because when I ever I try describing what people call "regular teenage self esteem" and "anxiety" that's the words I use to describe it. Its the voice in the back of my head. Thanks for talking about this. It really helped me
You are such a treasure, Melanie. You're one of the few UA-camrs that strives to help people with body and diet issues without pushing an agenda. Also, talking about the challenges you face as a bisexual woman - particularly people's attitudes and preconceptions - have helped me feel less alone. Thank you for your honesty xxx
I talked to you about this on Twitter, but oh my gosh you have helped me so much with my ED problems and body dysmorphia like you'd have no idea. You are an amazing ambassador for body positivity and you have helped so many people deal with their pesky little mental demons. Whether it be your "what I eat in a day" videos, advice or vlogs, you give me reassurance that i'm doing the right thing by nourishing my body. Thank you Melanie, for every single video you make. Your hard work is so appreciated and I adore you! You're so damn cute and your inner beauty radiates outside too...you're flippin' stunning, girl. Love from a nerdy British 26 year old currently going through a quarter-life crisis xxx
What country are you watching from? Sorry being nosy haha it's for a reason (for my book!)...please leave comments about your experiences with your self esteem and be kind to eachother down here I wanna read all the conversations later in bed
Melanie Murphy I just wanted to say you look incredible. I'm glad you managed to over come this. you are very inspirational and it's nice to see people talking about this and not ignoring it. best of luck in the future x
It's honestly haunting how much that diary entry resonates with how I feel right now. I'm 15, English, and don't think I've ever suffered rom BDD, but I do completely understand the feeling of- no matter what your family and friends tell you- looking in the mirror and only being able to see the curve of my stomach. Seeing other girls my age or older, with flatter-than-flat stomachs makes me feel sick. I promise myself that when I grow taller I'll stretch out, if I just do more cardio my abs will come through, if I don't eat that slice of bread I'll look how I want to. I've increased how much I workout (which used to be not at all), so I'm gaining muscle, energy, and strength, which I'm proud of and happy with, but I still want those two lines across my middle. I'm vegetarian, eating vegan 90% of the time (though this is for ethical reasons), and religiously avoid refined sugars and grains. Physically, I feel better than ever, and I like to think that in my mental attitude I'm improving rapidly, but having people speaking out about this issue makes me feel so much less alone x
Eve Rose At 15 I never could have admitted this stuff even on the internet. I know I'm a stranger and it doesn't matter but I'm proud of you and your efforts. You are amazing. I also dislike my stomach and that under arm flab that sooo many women get. These two things have been my biggest concerns about my body since I was in the third grade. Eight years old and I was wearing sweaters in the blazing heat because I was so ashamed of my body! I'm 25 now and thankfully far more comfortable with my body but it takes so much time to get there and I've never put in the amount of dedicated effort it seems you have. Please do take care of yourself. Please do not obsess over the perceived flaws of your body and find the things you love most, work toward a healthier and happier you and please please please be sure to keep your doctor informed. Your health is extremely important. I'm sorry if this comment is too long or nosy but what you said resonated with me. I wish you well. 💜
JessicaElric thank you so, so, so much. Your comment means a lot to me, and I'm glad to know that there's proof that things will be alright ❤️ I'm trying my hardest and I'm believing more and more that one day (one day soon) I will look in the mirror and not just be content with what I see, but love myself, whatever I look like. I hope you have a wonderful day!
I started by looking in the mirror a couple times throughout the week and picking something I liked that day. Often for me it would be my cheekbones or my eye shape but doing that little thing really helped me. Now when I'm feeling down I can remind myself that I'm really proud of my cheekbones if nothing else. It's a slow process to body confidence but I believe you'll get there. I hope you have a wonderful day too.
Thanks for sharing sister, I was suffering from this most of my life and today I am letting go of this disorder and it feels good, I realized that worrying about one's physical appearance is a delusion and suffering from this is really makes life hard. Let go of it brothers and sisters, embrace how you look and don't let your happiness or confidence come from your physical appearance. Think about how people of all different physical appearances are happy so why deny yourself that happiness. We gotta let go of this as a humanity and say good bye to it forever. When I was living in the middle east nobody cared about their body image, nobody really excersized too much, especially not bodybuilding. People didn't really have eating disorders, people just ate food and loved it and enjoyed. Guys it's kind of a curse to have this.... May God cure us all from this! Think about how many people who you came across, that didn't fit that fake image of beauty out there yet are happy. Guys we been deceived.... The body image industry is one of the largest, they messed us up so they can gain some tee bucks.... We cannot continue letting them mess up. Let's recover today.
I’m struggling with this every day of my life. I thank you for talking about it. Knowing other people understand how it can control your life and I’m not alone...just thank you.
I struggled with severe body dysmorphia for 3 years up until 6 months ago. I used to spend atleast 6-7 hours a day analysing my face, I used to take hundreds of selfies till I was satisfied, I felt like there was no hope, I was constantly dwelling on my appearance subconsciously around people until one day my life took a huge turn, I had a severe panic attack in relation to some personal issues I was having, this issue kept me occupied for 2 weeks or so & in those 2 weeks because I was so busy I retracted from performing my BDD compulsions which were constant mirror checking, and selfie taking, in the 3rd week I took a good glance in the mirror and realised I was looking the best I had looked for a long time! Now my theory of overcoming it involves some spiritualism, in my religion Islam we believe in the evil-eye, this means that you can send negative energy subconsiously through your eyes without realising, I believe christians, and Jews also share the same belief. So I believe the compulsive mirror checking, constantly looking at a portion of my face was sending negative energy in the direction of my appearance. In simpler terms the key to defeating BDD is avoid compulsions, whenever you get the urge to look in the mirror because you feel disgusting, do not under any circumstance look in the mirror, and if you have to, then stare directly into your eyes. Secondly be brave, it’s hard, I’ve been there, and now coming out of the tunnel I can tell you, you can get out of it too. Thirdly be more social, get out of the house, you look absolutely fine, it’s all in your head. Here’s an interesting technique you can try, when you look in the mirror, you’ve programmed yourself to look at your perceived flaw, how about you focus on another aspect of your face in the mirror, then your brain will naturally stop focussing on the percieved flaw, and will stop magnifying it. It just so happens that people with BDD are the most beautiful, be brave, be strong, I know you can do this :) you have every right to be happy, you have every right to get out there, and explore, you’re not inferior, what so ever! Sending love, and positive energy to whoever is reading this!
I tried really hard while watching this not to cry, but I just couldn't help it. I'm 26 and have been dealing with BDD since I was 11 ( maybe earlier, I can't remember), it's gotten slightly easier but like you say sometimes thoughts rear their ugly head, even during recovery and make you feel so shit. I hated myself when I was younger, not because of my personality but because of the way I looked. I would take time out of each day to look at my body in the mirror and tell myself all the things I had to work on to 'look better' or 'be better'. Things I needed to fix because I was gross and ugly. Over the years I have learned to love myself, due to changing my lifestyle, working out, etc. UA-cam helped. People like you, helped. Thank you for talking about this Melanie. This is so important.
I just came across this video. Im 35 years old and I have had BDD as long as I can rember. Ive never got help with it. Hearing you read that is exactly how I feel about myself almost everyday. This video made me cry so hard. Thank you for doing this video. Its good to feel like im not crazy or alone. Sending you love💞
I know im good looking and im amazing in almost every aspect. I'm kind, intelligent, loving, loyal, attractive, tall but body dismorphia can become such a soul crusher and it really diminishes me. I can not stop thinking about it, it is so painful.
Thank you for sharing your story. My boyfriend is struggling with bdd and you’re helping me understand him better. He’s so beautiful in my eyes and it hurts to hear him cry about how ugly he feels
Melanie you are true inspiration too so many people suffering with this disorder. Your honesty in your video was so amazing. may you go from strength to strength and keep helping people love themselves like they deserve
I don't think wearing a ton of make up is a bad thing, it's just that if you're too afraid for anyone to see you without make up, that's when it becomes a problem. You should do things that you want to do and not do things just to please others. This was an amazing video Melanie !
I suffered from anorexia and still suffer from bdd and anxiety. I used to cry every day over my appearance but I haven't cried in 2 months. This video finally broke me because finally I could have someone I could relate to. I still look in the mirror obsessively and can never get my mind off how my legs look, how my arms look, how big my nose is, how bad my skin and hair look. It seems that no matter what I do I'm not getting any better. Some days I just wish I wasn't here anymore. Another thing I deal with is that people always think I'm trying to change for others but I honestly just want to like myself. I've been to psychiatrists, therapists, changed my role models, journaled, did art, focused on skin care, went on diets, exercised (yoga), you name it. I just wish that this voice just left and I could be happy
I'm watching from near Manchester in England. I had a fight with my ex-boyfriend today because of social media insecurities and have been feeling teary and low all day. I really love watching your videos because you keep it so real and are so honest about your experiences. Thank you for creating such an open and safe community where people can be themselves xxx
p.s. I've never had BDD, but I think social media pressures these days definitely give rise to unachievable body expectations. I think you are bloody gorgeous and although I'm sure you still grapple (is that even a word?!) with body issues, I'm so glad through awareness you could overcome some of your insecurites. I really look up to you in terms of confidence!
My best friend has been having a really hard year because she developed an eating disorder. It was really hard for me to understand and then I remembered that you had made several videos and I shared them with her and she called me in tears saying that she was never able to put into words what you were. She has been doing a lot better . I just wanted to say thank you for all the advice you give and just being the person you are. You are just my favorite UA-camr of all and keep up the love and positive vibes you spread ❤️🌞
Yes Mel, you've become that person. I'm in recovery after years of having an eating disorder and you have contributed to my recovery. I have felt out of proportion since the age of 6 and I still do now. But I guess there's more to life than how I am on the outside. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Melanie x
I've Been silent sufferer of body dysmorphia for a really long time and I've had cbt but when there's a bump in the road it's bigger problem then ever it's really helped watching this today. Thank you for being out spoken about it
I feel at this moment my issues of BDD has made me numb and mute, you have just hit the nail on the head about how I feel, thank you for raising awareness for this mental illness! I am just at the beginning of this journey and feel like ripping off my face and body as my self-esteem and confidence is non-extenistent at the moment ! I hope that somewhere down the line i can be as open and supporting as you , i know this video is a few years old but just wanted to voice my opinions xox
Someone once said to me that there is beauty in vulnerability. It comes from sharing your struggles and supporting others. Melanie Murphy and everyone else that have shared their experience with BDD is doing this. Thank you for everyone who shared. You are beautiful and you can do this!
"All I want to do is connect with people so they know how I feel inside" - such honest words Melanie. Your videos have really created a great space to discuss important topics that are often neglected. Thank you for putting your vulnerabilities in such a public platform to help connect people together. You have really helped me realise that change comes from within. If you do read this - have a great day!
Thank you Melanie for sharing this with us. I can't imagine this video was an easy thing. For those of you who may be going theough a similar situation, be strong. Love what makes you different because that's what makes the world such a unique place. We are all beautiful human beings! 💜
Ever since I was little I have always suffered with these feelings. I would always compare myself to other girls and wonder why I was so ugly and such an alien. I used to try and change my voice. Having these feelings is just so difficult because my life has been ruined by this disorder. I've struggled with an eating disorder now for so long and have severe depression and anxiety and recently alcohol abuse. Its just such a battle all the time. I'm crying as I'm writing this because I just want to help all the girls out there and boys are suffering with this condition. Thank you for sharing this Melanie, it helps so much to know we are not alone xxxx
I feel like I've had this for years, I've never liked a single part of myself and would and still do get anxious in social situations about what people were thinking about my body so I always felt out of place. I've had people tell me insulting things about my own body claiming to 'just being honest' and somehow thinking that's acceptable and the influence of social media which has led me to be obsessive over my appearance and extremely insecure. It's crazy how powerful our own thoughts can be and I'm slowly learning to accept myself for who I am, I've started doing what I want to do and trying not to fit in with anyones acceptable image of beauty. I still get really bad thoughts and if I'm alone in my room I can make myself feel sick just by overthinking about my body, so going out and doing things really helps, and this video also really helped to knowing I can get better. Thank you so much for posting this xxx
Hai Melanie, Ruby here. I just wanted to say that I apreciate the video you have a posted today. I think this shows a lot of courage and bravery. I may not have BDD, but I have had an eating disorder when I was younger and I was also diagnosed with Clinical Depression. When talking to people, I always see to sound super confident, making jokes about "how awesome I am' without really believing it. Just like you, I have that little voice in the back of my head, it comments on my look. For me, it's a question of self-esteem and a result of things I did to myself, bad things, that have left scars on my arms (from my wrists to my shoulders) from a time where I hit rock bottom with my depression. I struggle with that addiction every day. Anyhow, I'm telling you this because I wanted to tell you that even though I'm living in a completely different situation, I understand how you feel and what you went through. I still don't like the way I look, and I avoid mirrors like the pest and I avoid weighing myself because I get panic attacks just thinking about how much I most likely weight, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not "fat" but I passed a few tests a few years ago and according to tests I passed, I'm "clinically" qualified as overweight (based on my height and such) even though I'm really not. Anyways, don't give up, and thank you for this amazing message of positivity you are giving out. I really apreciate it and I am happy that I was able to see this video. Dia bheith in éineacht leat. Slán do anois, Ruby
Oh gosh, I am SO guilty of the hand-checking thing. Around 8 years ago, I was anorexic and I used to place my palm against the side of my stomach nearly every half an hour to check to see how far my stomach went out. Since then, I've become a lot healthier and no longer suffer from an eating disorder, but the hand checking habit is still there (just less frequent). Nowadays it seems like my attention has shifted from my body to my skin -- I'm fortunately not as obsessed as I used to be, but like you said, I still have days where I don't want to leave the house and end up crying over my appearance. It's probably something I'm never gonna get over completely, but I hope I can continue to get better. Thanks for making a video like this :)
I don't have BDD but I definitely have struggled with low self esteem and body image so I really appreciate this video. Plus I think Melanie is beautiful so the fact that she dealt with this really puts things in perspective for me because it just shows that people will almost never judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. Thank you so much for making this video Melanie!
I have BBD. I think I look like an ugly monster in the mirror, especially under bad lighting. One thing I have noticed about fellow sufferers and you Melanie is that you are far from ugly, and often very attractive like yourself. I think you are very brave for disclosing this condition and helping others by doing so. My best wishes to you and everyone.
so proud of how far you've come Mel.. I can't imagine how tough it was for you to talk about such a topic that had taken over your life for a long period of time.. You're such a positive role model for women and young girls.. and are flying that irish flag high. lots of love 💜
I see a lot of the people in the comments are trying to be supportive. However, personally I don’t think commenting on her appearance is a good way to do it. I applaud her courage to share her story. It is a scary thing to put yourself out there
I am so sorry that even such an amazing, beautiful and smart woman like you has to go through this shit..mental illnesses are the hardest and i just wanted to thank you for being one of the brave people who actually talk about these kinds of problems. You're making a huge difference.
I can't wait to buy your book!Melanie, you are so amazing in every aspect and I want to thank you, for helping me realise that things do get better and I'm not alone. Just recently I have fallen into "my old ways", however, for me no matter how hard I try I can never be happy with myself. You look absolutely stunning in this video and I will forever love and support you ❤️ xxxxx
I have BDD and I've had it for quite a while. Right now I just had enough of that mean voice inside my head telling me I am gross, too fat or ugly. I am trying to love myself for who I am. I find it helpful to just stand in the mirror naked and just look at myself and sum up things I like about my body. Just looking at myself has helped me realizing how my body looks, because I always have avoided looking at it. I really want to thank you Melanie for helping me through your videos. Just by listening to your voice and following your life it helps me feeling a little bit happier everyday. Thank you, you're such a beautiful and amazing person inside and out
I'm a guy, and my whole life I've been told I'm goodlooking and cute from everyone, but when I look in the mirror I seem to only focus on flaws that people tell me are either normal or attractive, I would have insecurities seasonly, and whenever I overcome one another arises and occupies what i see in the mirror. I have had hints and compliments that otherwise would be definite proof that I'm not hideous, but I'd find myself fighting to disprove those compliments and somehow think they're all lies. I really don't want to look back when I'm 50 yo and see my young photos and dwell over how goodlooking i was and how I'm not anymore.
i've gotten this too, but i feel like the ugliest person in the world sometimes. i'm currently working on it but i feel like its something i cannot overcome on my own
most relatable thing i’ve ever heard. lots of guys find me attractive, and lots of people call me pretty etc… but for some reason those compliments make me feel worse, because i can’t see it and it’s so frustrating. all my life i’ve been called attractive but i can’t see it, at all. li start to feel like maybe they’re lying? maybe they’re pitying me? all i do is obsess over my appearance & flaws. all that’s on my mind is what i look like rn and to other people. in school i avoid mirrors bc i’m afraid they will ruin my mood, but then right when i get home i’m getting up every five seconds to go check the mirror, in hopes for that little slice of confidence that lasts for two seconds. it’s so exhausting, no one around me understands. everyone can see the way this has affected my personality & mental health and no one stops to ask me if i’m okay. my parents see how much this is on my mind, im always sleeping, always down, and in a bad mood, and they don’t just stop to ask that maybe their daughter isn’t ok. they only talk to me when i start sobbing to them ab it for the 50th time. they “comfort” me by telling me that everyone calls me pretty , and that sm guys r attracted to me & that it’s stupid to feel this way, and although it makes me feel good for a good five seconds, after that they don’t bring it up ever again. i cried to my mom on how i can’t do this anymore & that i need help. and i feel like she doesn’t care, and she said “yea i care, i let u miss school” and after that she hasn’t brought it up since, even tho she’s admitted she can see that i’m always down, and that i haven’t been my normal self in years.!
Thank you for being so open and honest about still having days where you think about it and don't want to leave the house. I've felt for a long time that I'd never ever get to a 'cured' point because it seems impossible to just....not constantly do these things or have the obsessive thoughts. Weirdly enough, you admitting that there is the occasional day actually makes me more hopeful that the other 90% good days can happen for me. I'm almost 25 and I just want to have a single year in my twenties that I'm having fun and not held back every day by the obsession with my body and face. I think when you're the most truthful about the eating or the thoughts or any details it actually helps me the most....so just wanted to let you know that.
Thank you so much... for this for who you are and for everything you do. Not many people know I've suffered with body issues and still do. Thank you for being so strong and so full of love. ❤️
I actually kept listening to you read your diary entry and I burst into tears at the relation. It's exactly how I've felt most of my life, especially growing up and making comparisons of myself to everyone, especially my best girl friends. I still struggle with this a lot in my day to day life
I'm from America, California specifically. I'm recovering from anorexia nervosa and it's been terribly hard. I feel I have BDD as well. Funny enough, I just checked my hips before watching this video 🙄 haha. I have been to therapy and it's been getting easier. Today was a harder day since I plan on going out with my bf and indulging. There's still a voice that says "don't eat!" But I'm fighting it really hard. Love you Melanie!!!!
@Melanie Murphy can I just say that you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever come across on the outside and the inside. You have gorgeous eyes amazing eyebrows beautiful brown flowing hair. Rosy glowing skin even without your makeup, cute rosy lips ( again without makeup, and an amazing figure that accentuates your body type beautifully. You have a cool and trendy fashion sense. You. Believe that people shouldn't compare with others and instead should focus on being the best version of themselves that they can be, because everyone is different and that is a wonderful thing. This is something that has been lost in this day and age because society tells us that success comes from looking a specific way. Which for most is an impossible and unrealistic goal to reach. What you teach to others really makes you a role model, and an inspiration to others. Over al you are an amazing human being, and I am so glad that I have taken the time to really start watching your videos. I find them very calming and relaxing, and have realised that I need to start being more honest with myself. Instead of telling myself false information about my body. So thank you. ❤ xx
Hi Mel, I am so glad you finally made a video about this. I am 22 Irish and have BDD and its because of my PCOS, I suffer with weight and excess hair. I have terrible self confidence because of it. I realized it was taking over my life. Hiding from any photographs of myself taken by others, seeing myself at another angle and worried thats what people see me like every day! Looking at myself in windows and mirrors constantly thinking if I look ok, being scared to go outside for fear of peoples stares or judgement that probably arent even there. Thinking I looked manly, constantly poking at my fatter bits and worrying about my appearance 24/7, I still look in mirrors and comb my hair and move things around on myself always worrying what ppl think of me and I am convinced im still as big as I was despite losing 35lbs and im hating my saggy tummy and my flappy arms and wobbly thighs and some days I cry in the shower over it all and I dont feel pretty at all and im always always comparing myself to the people I wanna look like aka petite and feminine girls where as im short and stumpy instead with a big jawline and bushy brows. It gets in the way of relationships and my mental health and I just hate it all. No one has been able to convince me to love myself and I think I need therapy :/ but does therapy even work? thanks for your read! love - Miu
I am pretty certain that the past year I have been struggling with body dysmorphia, I dropped from a size 16 to size 12 through better eating and excersize but instead of helping my confidence, all I began to care about was weight. I developed binge eating, began googling the measurements of celebrities and choosing the measurements I want to be based off them, I made a skinny inspo board on pinterest with over 2.2k pins. My friends began to get really pissed off me because it was all i talked about... But for some reason, since moving away to university, I've finally stopped caring so much, i don't know how or why, but for the moment I just don't care. There have been days when my weight still brings me down but it's not on the same level as it used to be. Hopefully It'll last.
Infact Melanie, when I was at the lowest point I sent you a huge dm on instagram very similar to the letter you read at the start. Reading back on it now it hurts to see how much pain I was in.
Thank you for this, I never wanted to admit I had this disease, but my mom has pointed it out to me several times. I OBSESS over my nose. I truly believe it is too big for my face, it's bulbous, and has a hump, and it has kept me in my house for the passed year. For as long as I can remember I have experienced this drowning feeling of "ugly" in the midst of hanging out with friends or being around boys. Every little thing triggers it and it is constantly on my mind. I am going to get a nose job, lip injections, and possibly accutane, but I need to learn to accept where I am now. Thank you again for pushing me to open my eyes to this disease that has been destroying me my entire life. My favorite place to come to is UA-cam for it, and I have been trying to recover without even realizing it for a while now. I just need to put a face on it this time:)
madison chris oh my god I'm the exact same with my nose!! I've been looking through the comments for someone talking about this regarding their nose. I absolutely hate it and it's because I too feel like it way too big for my face and it has a bump. I feel like every single person on TV, on social media, in magazines, they all have small or proportional noses, and it makes me feel like utter shit! I constantly think about how my nose looks to others and I take pictures of it everyday just to make myself feel shit because I know I hate it. It's sadly nice to know someone relates to that I guess
I was never able to distinguish bdd “voice” in my mind. I always thought it was my thoughts which I had under control and was logical. I’m constantly feeling my stomach and ribs which I’m most insecure about. I’ve had crazy extreme thoughts but thought they were normal.
I've watched UA-cam for years and I think Melanie is actually the person that has had the biggest most positive impact on me. Melanie you are wonderful, your videos on mental health are kind of a rock to me. everything you stand for in terms of mental health is wonderful, thank you for everything, you are more beautiful and amazing than you will ever know ❤❤
I remember watching this video when you first uploaded it and thinking ''that sounds really familiar'' and now, a year later, I finally got the courage to tell my therapist about my obsession with how I look/parts of my face and body that I hate. And today I was diagnosed with BDD. I remembered this video and came back to it, and it honestly helps to know that I'm not the only one going through this. Thanks Mel xx
This hits so deep with me. I haven't gotten officially diagnosed but I am going into graduate studies in psychology and absolutely positive that I have been suffering from this from about the same age-- 11 or 12. My obsession (though more obsessions have come and go) is my under-eye circles/bags. I cover them up every single day. My rosacea and acne scars also bug me quite a bit. I have struggled with eating disorders in the past as well. It truly is like seeing yourself as a monster. People don't understand, really. They think it's low self-esteem, but it is in the DSM next to obsessive compulsive disorders. It's so difficult every day to deal with this disorder. Sometimes you just want to shake people and get them to realize that the real problem is that we suffer from extreme emotional pain almost every single day, sometimes every waking moment. No amount of assuring us that we're beautiful or that beauty is only skin-deep or that we just have to stop thinking of ourselves that way is going to help. Medications and therapy are the only way to deal with this disorder. And understanding, because it feels so isolating and scary.
God I’m only 5 minutes in this video and I’m crying over how much I relate to everything she’s saying. It’s so strange though because I can feel so disgusting and can see so much wrong with me then a few months later I’ll look back at a picture and I don’t see the problem... but then I’ll look in a mirror and the issue of still thinking I’m seeing something there still remains I just don’t get it. So debilitating i literally have been hiding from the world for years now and I’m so tired of it
My relationship with my body has changed so much for the better in the last few years. I used to be so worried about my shape and my weight and what others thought of me. I've been practicing yoga for 10 years now but really started getting into the mental and emotional side of it 3 years ago. It has helped me build such a fierce appreciation for my body and what it can do. Not only has it shaped my body differently, but it's shaped my mind in a much healthier way. And the community at my local studio plays a huge part in that as well. Loving, wonderful people who build each other up :)
Thank you SOO much for making this video Melanie! Was having a low self esteem day today. Missed college because of it! So glad that I could relate to some of the things that you were saying! Your such a brave person so thank you!!
You’re courageous and your openness on this topic is going to help many people. I have suffered BDD for many years but recently diagnosed (1 year ago). There aren’t as many videos out there about BDD. I love how you point of that we can find comfort in our misery which can also make it hard to recover.
My heart breaks for 2011 Melanie, but celebrates with joy for the you of today. I'm so proud of the strides you've made and your sharing this journey with us.❤
thank you so much for talking about this. hearing your diary entry really struck a chord with me, because i wrote some pretty nasty things about myself when i was younger too. i've since thrown my old journals away.
I cried as you read your journal entry, because I could have written the same thing a few years ago. Well done for addressing such a difficult topic and I'm sure this video will help people who are currently suffering from BDD.
I'm a person who tries to look beyond the shell into the hearts of people. I don't care how my friends or anyone else looks like. But I have to say that every time I click on a video from you, I think: 'Wow, she is so beautiful.' I'm so glad you're doing better!
Thank you for this. I just came across this. I cried as I watched I was so triggered. I took a test and scored 15/20 for BDD. I am going to look into therapy.
I just recently found out that I have body dysmorphic disorder by doing my own research. I thought I had just had low self esteem but I was wrong. When you read your diary entry, I was on the verge of tears because It was like you had read my mind. People think just complimenting you will fix it but it doesn't. Every time I check the mirror or my phone camera, I see everything that is wrong with me and it makes me want to curl up into a ball and live in a hole so that I do not have to let other people see my face. This video gives me hope that I can get over it because this has just gotten worse over the years and I am TIRED of feeling like this. Thank you for posting this video and making me feel less alone when it comes to dealing with this.
I started expressing STRONG symptoms of BDD when I was 10 years old, in a few months I started telling my parents, my family, my friends.... but I was ostracized, people saw it as something wrong and like it was my fault, by 11 years old I would shake uncontrollably in classes and could not speak to people my age anymore, my parents didn't care either, after years I developed depression and anxiety in extreme levels, started missing classes and pulling away from people, by 17 I had developd a tick from severe stress, and again my parents DID NOT CARE, I was first in class even with all the problems, but after that I left my studies and started pretending to sleep in classes to cover my shakìng, then bullying started.... So I reacted and fought classmates and teachers if needed. By 20 I begged for psychiatrist appointment and finnaly found one, he put me on a load of xanax and antidepressants bur nothing ever worked, now I'm 26 and I blame my parents for all the pain and agony in my life, nobody deserves to live under these circumstances, only agony, depression and will to kill and be killed. If I don't get relief from this pain before my death I will make all humans close to me suffer 10 times worse. So be careful, DO NOT have children to live them to suffer or I WILL find you.
I have severe facial BDD, nobody understands and it won't ever go away but I deal with it When I get one of those 'good days' when everything is perfect... I feel amazing. Nobody ever sees me without a full face of makeup, I even sleep in it lashes and all.. I only recently take it off for bed in front of my boyfriend but I still can't look him in the eye and I hide my face. Does anyone else feel tired all the time?
Omg , I go through the Samething..also with my bf and can’t look him in the eye or when it’s that intimate time it feels weird and I hate I’m that way.🙏🏽🤍
Sameeeeeee lmao but I can Alr tell ur gorgggg asfff I have body and facial dysmorphia and it sucks alottt because even tho it may not be true ( hopefully it is tho ) most ppl compliment me online and tell me I look “ adorable “ “ beautiful “ and it melts my heart because as a trans girl getting misgendered all the time and shamed for being underweight causs I’ve had an ED since 14 and still recovering ppl Jus don know when to stop I go out in summer in jeans , and a sweater and my mom is always like “ too hot for that take it off “ and I’m like “ hell no “ and sometimes I even stay in the bathroom for hours looking at my face seeing how weird it looks and I start crying for a longg long time . Like it’s rlly a serious illness and it tires. Ppl out
Watching from Cape Town, South Africa 😊 I've had self-esteem & body image issue since I was a teen. I was always a bit chubby & I started getting acne around 12/13, which only cleared entirely when I was about 24 with the help of medication. How fat my face & tummy look are always something I think about. One of my biggest role models is Amy Lee from Evanescence; she's never been super skinny & her focus has always been on creating quality art over the superficial. Looking up to women like her helped me a lot 🙂 I'm really glad that you talk about issues like these, it really helps seeing someone else go through the good days and the bad days. Thank you, Melanie 💚
I can't explain how grateful I am for you making this video, I have realised in the past few weeks that I may be struggling with BDD. My view on my appearance started to scare me and I can see the negative impact it is having on my diet and health, I am skipping meals and then binging when I haven't eaten enough. I know I need to seek help and I will do, but I just want to thank you for being brave and talking about an issue which people don't discuss often. Sending you all the love and warm wishes in your recovery 💗
Vanessa_ JZ - I posted this earlier today on another bdd video, so figured I’d copy and paste it for you. I’ve got bdd, ocd, depersonalization, derealisation. I’m not ashamed in the slightest. It’s not a weakness ( if anything it will make you stronger and more resilient than you ever would have been if life just went perfect in a little happy bubble ) They developed when I was in my early twenties in my first year of college when my male pattern baldness first became noticeable, I’m now thirty and I still have these debilitating ( if you allow ) conditions. You will have them for life if you have them. They can become virtually non-existent when you address the cognitive issue and do the right things making sure to stay disciplined. But they can always come back if you go back to wreckless behavior/habits as your brain is wired that way. It’s up to you how much the condition grows or stays in remission. They all seem to go hand in hand. Sleep and exercise is absolutely imperative. How long you sleep and the quality is especially significant. For instance; I had a really bad day today. Spaced out. OCD, groggyness, numbness, depression, etc. all this is due to the fact that I over slept by about 3 hours to what I normally would. I literally emerged from bed a different person. Cannot stress enough just how important the right amount of sleep is for those suffering with these chronic cognitive conditions which drastically affect perception and how your brain processes images. I recommend less than eight hours. 6 - 7 is ideal. I really feel after suffering with these chronic conditions for over 9 years, that SLEEP - is without a doubt the single most important aspect to feeling good again. After that comes diet and exercise. Obviously fresh air, socializing, goals etc; But without the sleep aspect being maintained, you can forget about anything else working. Nothing you do will work unless your sleeping patterns/circadian rhythms are correct. Take it from me, two days ago I was myself, full of confidence and energy. All it took was one night staying up to long and sleeping in too long to throw everything else out of balance. You really have to be relentlessly disciplined with your sleep. I’m still learning this the hard way 9 years later. I have awful sleep habits. Don’t be like me. Don’t let those habits develop. Stamp them out and fix your fucking sleep as it’s 100% connected to your cognitive functionality. You need to own it and take control, you need to learn to recognize it when it starts. You must become a professional at diagnosing yourself. You must become like the Facebook algorithms - nothing slips by you and when it starts you notice immediately and take your control back. Over time this will become second nature and you will be like a fucking machine, trust me. I’ve been suicidal in the past and had episodes so bad I was hospitalized. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You will learn that the condition is similar to a spoiled brat. The more you spoil ( feed your compulsions ) the more power you give it. Give it no credit and ignore it - no matter how much it kicks and screams like a little brat to get its way, remember you are the rational adult. You are in charge 😉 Good luck in your recovery 👌
I’ve been sobbing while staring in the mirror everyday for the past I think 3months... I just started googling about it because I thought there must be more to it than just hating my body. But after watching this video I feel kind of self-diagnosed... I’m in tears right now because your diary entry really does hit home and I feel so stuck and helpless now... anyway I’m going to actually finish watching this video to find out what to do. Thanks in advance Mel x
She is stunningly beautiful yet she has BDD. That's a strong indication of how powerful and real this problem is.
this is so fucking true
well actualy thats exactly why im here , i have a gorgeous friend but she thinks that she is ugly and that makes me angry and it shouldnt cuz she is suffering from an awful disease
She average
@@mohammadmehdinasiri8905 Me too I had a friend like that, she would wear baggy clothes and all. I asked her, ''do you think I'm fat?'' She said no, then I told her (because she kept telling me her thighs were big), ''your thighs are the same size as mine'', and we actually mesured it and it was around the same size.
Exactly - I was about to say. She is so pretty and when she wrote the diary she was pretty as well. This shows that BDD can happen to anyone and its something so many people struggle with. Some people think 'Oh no, she couldn't of had BDD' or something like that but it can literally happen to ANYONE and I think more people need to be aware of that. You are so strong Melanie ❤️
I literally CANNOT see my self on camera or won’t let anyone take pictures of me
I learned to accept my face in the last 7-8 years, but pictures just break my heart every time and get me spiralling to this f*in day
Same. I literally have no pictures from highschool because of it
I feel you
I can't look at mirrors because I hate the way I look. I also can't see my pictures too.
Whenever that little voice in my head starts telling me that my body doesn't look good, I remember of all the times that I've heard my friends saying the same things about their bodies and I thought they were crazy because to me they look perfect, but it made me frustrated to realise that they don't see themselves as I do, and they are beautiful. Remembering this makes me feel better, because it makes me realise that they also see me like this... They think I'm beautiful even when I think I'm not. Thanks for the lovely video Melanie
Thank you so much for this comment. My gf suffers from this and i really want to help her. Ill bring this up to her. Thank you very much
I can't believe I found you here, Violet. Everytime I watch your videos, all I can think about is that I wish I looked like you and how perfect your face is. Kind of ironic.
I have severe BDD. When I leave my house all I can think of is my face and how ugly I feel it is. I ask myself every day why do I have to struggle with this terrible mental illness. It never goes away, it's always lurking and ruins my days. I want to break free already. The meds work to a certain degree but I can't keep on going like this. This isn't life and this is not what I want.
You are not alone. I struggle with the same self-sabotaging beliefs. Have you tried seeing a therapist who can do cognitive behavioral therapy? Medication + CBT will work much better than medication alone. I don’t take medication, but I would have to say that therapy alone helps me enough. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and I hope you find peace.
I haven't tried CBT yet but I think this is not going to help me cause I already have good insight when it comes to BDD. Thank you for this comment though
@@enimalnaide7767 I am in therapy and it does help. Give it a go please. I really hope you can overcome this
@@aishachaudhry4728 It's not something I can do, at least now.
I suffer with the same disorder. If you want, feel free to reach out. I will try to support you ❤
I started crying during this video. I didn't know the symptoms of BDD. and I relate to nearly all of them. I'm still afraid to tell anyone how I truly feel. But this was a wonderful video
are wimmen mentally ill or just too hormonal when young?
@@MegaBaddog this disorder effects men too
madmarvin99 umm this affects all people u uneducated male
I feel ugly all the time it's always in my head. I want to tell my therapist this, but I'm scared. And btw my therapist is beautiful then there's me a ugly patient. Many times I've cried because of this. Many people in social media ask me "How do you look like?" And then I come up with some excuse then I feel even more worse and uglier.
Idk.org0 Im sorry u had to go through this. It would be good if should tell your terapist tho cause thats their job to help you remeber that! I have the same problem I feel u. No pressure u can just think about it :).
I’m not gonna self diagnose yet but the fact that I’m crying is proof enough how much mental pain I’ve gone through. I feel like I’m in a cycle of trying to find acceptance it’s just so tiring and draining.
It honestly feels like every day I wake up, I find something new wrong with my body. It used to be how skinny I was, it moved on to my unsymmetrical face, my dark under eyes, my patchy red skin. Then my flat bum. I’ve tried all the at at home workouts, I’ve watched all the loving yourself videos, the self confidence videos and I still feel like the most ugly, disgusting person to walk the planet. I sabotage all my relationships because I feel inadequate and not worthy and now I feel alone. I’m so lost
Honestly, same. There are days when is not that hard but others where i spend 30 minutes looking at myself in the mirror and planning all the cosmetic procedures i SHOULD do. Living like this is something i do not wish upon my worst enemy
I relate to this so much. There's always something different to hate about my body - everyday it looks different. Recently, it's been everything about my face :( I've had weeks where I spent hours in the bathroom, poking and adjusting myself in the mirror. I'm better now but it's still lurking with me everywhere I go.
@@ferrarasabrina hi just reading your comment breaks my heart - and also makes me feel less alone I thought I was the only person going through this. Is like hearing my thought thru a different person.🥺 strength and faith to get through this.
it literally feels like a living hell and every second of my life is consumed by it, sometimes im just tired i dont even remember or think ik how to not live like this, crazy too how yea its the exact same thoughts
How are you now ? The mind is a POWERFUL thing ! Praying for you ! I hope you are doing better !? 💖
Body dysmorphia actually makes me socially anxious and awkward because I'm always wondering what people think of me and I always check the mirror and check myself in reflections and my every thought is about my appearance especially worse in school this video made me cry a little because I relate so much to it and it helped me realize I'm not alone on this thank you so much ♥️
Hope you can go through this tough time
I wish you can recover from this mental illness . I only suggest you get a therapist and talk. Thats the only solution I can think off. And avoid social apps like tiktok and Instagram.
Literally grabbing at my stomach without even thinking while watching this. I do body checks constantly. I’m looking in the mirror at my stomach constantly. I don’t want to live like this forever.
I wrote a little self-love haiku...
dear body if you
could see from a bird's eye view
the splendorous truth
cute!! :3
Thats so beautiful!
That's shit m8
Beautiful, your words are beautiful ! 😍😍😍
I'll keep it in my journal as a reminder!
@Zoe K thank you for bringing me back to re-read this and see that it was appreciated :) ♡
SO proud of you of this video, it's something i have suffered with for years. I don't think it will ever leave me but i do know that I can trick my brain and my mindset into seeing what other people see. xxx
Love you so much babe!
I can not even imagine sitting in front of a camera and talking. I would die from shame fron looking at myself. I litteraly can not even imagine looking at myself like that. Just the shape of my head and my facial expressions and way my eyes look and just fucking everything. I could not stand having to make my brain see how I look
I failed my oral exam because of this! We had to record our answers in a 10 minute video. Long story short, I cried my eyes out all day and ended up sending my prof an email at 2am, telling her that I was struggling mentally. I cant forget this day.
i’m so sorry, i understand completely and i hope you’re doing better now
@@melisa91995 How are you doing now 💕
@@florivalentina3400 it's a rollercoaster - there are good days and bad ones. But I have taken the first steps for therapy so I guess I'm finally getting the help I need and most importantly deserve 💓
Same, and even worse with my voice, I really feel ashamed how my voice sounds...
When I was a young teenager I think I had BDD, I couldn't leave the house without staring at myself in the mirror for hours tearing myself apart, thinking I was huge when I was the smallest i've ever been. Those feelings do still resurface occasionally but I just call them "my fat ugly days" because I know now that i'm not fat or ugly and it's all in my head on days when I have low self esteem. The thing that brought me out of it that I still think of all the time was my mum saying
"when you're lying on your death bed, you're going to look back and regret wasting time, missing out on things and not enjoying things because you're too busy worrying about your appearance when it's experiences that matter most"
or something along those lines and that really stuck with me!
In particular with the intersection of BDD and EDs, it's funny how so many of us were "at our smallest" when we felt the worst about ourselves. It's very telling and sad. I'm still struggling to learn the difference between wanting to lose weight to feel and look better in a healthy way, versus because I hate myself and am using food restriction as a misguided form of control. I'm glad that teenagers now have people like Melanie to look to for support and an introduction to a problem they may not even be aware they have.
I totally agree with you, I never even realised I had BDD fully until I watched this video and now I realise I had it for many years of my life. I seemed to think how I felt was normal for my age but it really wasn't!
I had the same experience! Your video just made me realize! Mine was connected with a history of anorexia, I don't know which one came first. I thought it was normal to be like that, wen you are in your teens. Constant checking your body, scratching your skin open, and the thoughts! It totally takes over your life, you can not think about anything productive or positive :( maybe also a way to cope with stress?
TriTri how did you overcome it?? I'm like how you described and I just realized I have BDD and I want to change so bad
Aria Targaryen As I got older I naturally got more confident, especially moving out of home and having to be an adult helped me gain confidence. Another thing was realising what matters in life is experiences and happiness, looks are fleeting and don't last and at the end of the day no one actually cares about your weight same way we don't look at other people and over analyse their bodies. Everyone is too busy worrying about their own problems to be thinking about how you look. I also didn't want to waste anymore time thinking about it, crying, staring in the mirror and tearing myself apart, life is short and there is so much more you could be doing. It was a long process of a good few years to overcome it, it won't happen overnight but all of these things helped me overcome it :) Of course I still have unconfident days where I feel I look terrible and say i'm fat etc but it's not every day now. Good luck trying to change! The first step to change is realising you want to :) Hope this was helpful!
I’ve recently just heard about BDD. I just thought it was normal to suffer with these constant thoughts. I feel so stuck like I’m never going to be free of this. I’m crying currently because I’m so lost on where to go now. I don’t think I will ever appreciate or like the way I look no matter what I do to change myself. It’s depressing.
I feel you :((((
andrea Summers youre not alone. so am i.
Same I thought it was normal to look in the mirror for more than an hour a day.
🌹Stay strong, you're not alone. I've heard people with BDD say it helps to try to focus on what your body does rather than what it looks like. If you have healthy lungs, ears that can hear, eyes that can see, working sweatglands, a musculoskeletal system that walks? These things were all left to chance, and if your body is in working order that is something to celebrate and concentrate on! You're here for a reason, and that reason is not simply to be beautiful like a lifeless decoration.
@@Cinnamon455 thank you :)
I know this is now a 4 year old video, but I just wanted to say thank you for making it. Needed this more than ever right now.
i feel like my body is not mine it’s not fair why... why can’t i feel comfortable with myself alone in my room when no one else is watching when i have on baggy clothing when i’m under the covers, when i take a shower, when i go to the pool, when i look at pretty girls. why do i judge my body so much, the body that tries to keep me alive everyday. why do beauty standards affect everyone in a bad way but are still so popular
I ask myself why all the time. Why me
Melanie.. same. I'm crying, I've suffered for a long long time. I'll be 33 in 2 weeks and I have hated myself and stayed alone in my room for many many years. Being away from people and wanting desperately to be around them.
Hope you are doing better these days.
update ussss ❤️
I'm 30 years old, and I've been struggling with my body image all my life. I'm trying to be kind to myself, to stop beating myself up, but is really difficult. It's helpful listening to other people stories on this problems. Thanks for sharing your experience
Sorry ,darling 😔
I've always felt like this and never realised what was wrong with me and my friends and family have always just called it "low self esteem" as they don't understand the disorder. Really appreciated this video, thanks x
same
That diary entry is EXACTLY how I feel 😔 I have BDD too it's HORRIBLE I have acne and am overweight your younger self reminds me of exactly how I feel RN ✨ Thank you for making this it's inspired me so much you give me hope ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
That emoji girl i relate so much 💕💕 ur not alone
+warriorcatEDITS stay strong x
That emoji girl I feel exactly the same :/
Hana Owens It'll get better x
i want to talk to you
It’s incredibly hard hearing someone speak my own thoughts out loud. It’s heartbreaking and so sad.
"The voice in the back of my head". This hit me because when I ever I try describing what people call "regular teenage self esteem" and "anxiety" that's the words I use to describe it. Its the voice in the back of my head. Thanks for talking about this. It really helped me
BDD has literally destroyed my life
Do you want to be friends?
Me too it destroyed my life
Sure 🫠
Relate 😢
You are such a treasure, Melanie. You're one of the few UA-camrs that strives to help people with body and diet issues without pushing an agenda. Also, talking about the challenges you face as a bisexual woman - particularly people's attitudes and preconceptions - have helped me feel less alone. Thank you for your honesty xxx
I talked to you about this on Twitter, but oh my gosh you have helped me so much with my ED problems and body dysmorphia like you'd have no idea. You are an amazing ambassador for body positivity and you have helped so many people deal with their pesky little mental demons. Whether it be your "what I eat in a day" videos, advice or vlogs, you give me reassurance that i'm doing the right thing by nourishing my body. Thank you Melanie, for every single video you make. Your hard work is so appreciated and I adore you! You're so damn cute and your inner beauty radiates outside too...you're flippin' stunning, girl. Love from a nerdy British 26 year old currently going through a quarter-life crisis xxx
and thank you also for sharing something so personal with us! xxx
What country are you watching from? Sorry being nosy haha it's for a reason (for my book!)...please leave comments about your experiences with your self esteem and be kind to eachother down here I wanna read all the conversations later in bed
xxx
I'm watching from England :) I love that you talk about such important topics on your channel x
Melanie Murphy I just wanted to say you look incredible. I'm glad you managed to over come this. you are very inspirational and it's nice to see people talking about this and not ignoring it. best of luck in the future x
Melanie Murphy UK :)
Melanie Murphy Croatia 😊
It's honestly haunting how much that diary entry resonates with how I feel right now. I'm 15, English, and don't think I've ever suffered rom BDD, but I do completely understand the feeling of- no matter what your family and friends tell you- looking in the mirror and only being able to see the curve of my stomach. Seeing other girls my age or older, with flatter-than-flat stomachs makes me feel sick. I promise myself that when I grow taller I'll stretch out, if I just do more cardio my abs will come through, if I don't eat that slice of bread I'll look how I want to. I've increased how much I workout (which used to be not at all), so I'm gaining muscle, energy, and strength, which I'm proud of and happy with, but I still want those two lines across my middle. I'm vegetarian, eating vegan 90% of the time (though this is for ethical reasons), and religiously avoid refined sugars and grains. Physically, I feel better than ever, and I like to think that in my mental attitude I'm improving rapidly, but having people speaking out about this issue makes me feel so much less alone x
you re an inspiration 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
Boughattas Rayen that's so lovely of you to say ❤️ thank you so much
Eve Rose At 15 I never could have admitted this stuff even on the internet. I know I'm a stranger and it doesn't matter but I'm proud of you and your efforts. You are amazing. I also dislike my stomach and that under arm flab that sooo many women get. These two things have been my biggest concerns about my body since I was in the third grade. Eight years old and I was wearing sweaters in the blazing heat because I was so ashamed of my body! I'm 25 now and thankfully far more comfortable with my body but it takes so much time to get there and I've never put in the amount of dedicated effort it seems you have. Please do take care of yourself. Please do not obsess over the perceived flaws of your body and find the things you love most, work toward a healthier and happier you and please please please be sure to keep your doctor informed. Your health is extremely important. I'm sorry if this comment is too long or nosy but what you said resonated with me. I wish you well. 💜
JessicaElric thank you so, so, so much. Your comment means a lot to me, and I'm glad to know that there's proof that things will be alright ❤️ I'm trying my hardest and I'm believing more and more that one day (one day soon) I will look in the mirror and not just be content with what I see, but love myself, whatever I look like. I hope you have a wonderful day!
I started by looking in the mirror a couple times throughout the week and picking something I liked that day. Often for me it would be my cheekbones or my eye shape but doing that little thing really helped me. Now when I'm feeling down I can remind myself that I'm really proud of my cheekbones if nothing else. It's a slow process to body confidence but I believe you'll get there. I hope you have a wonderful day too.
Thanks for sharing sister, I was suffering from this most of my life and today I am letting go of this disorder and it feels good, I realized that worrying about one's physical appearance is a delusion and suffering from this is really makes life hard. Let go of it brothers and sisters, embrace how you look and don't let your happiness or confidence come from your physical appearance. Think about how people of all different physical appearances are happy so why deny yourself that happiness. We gotta let go of this as a humanity and say good bye to it forever. When I was living in the middle east nobody cared about their body image, nobody really excersized too much, especially not bodybuilding. People didn't really have eating disorders, people just ate food and loved it and enjoyed. Guys it's kind of a curse to have this.... May God cure us all from this! Think about how many people who you came across, that didn't fit that fake image of beauty out there yet are happy. Guys we been deceived.... The body image industry is one of the largest, they messed us up so they can gain some tee bucks.... We cannot continue letting them mess up. Let's recover today.
I’m struggling with this every day of my life. I thank you for talking about it. Knowing other people understand how it can control your life and I’m not alone...just thank you.
I struggled with severe body dysmorphia for 3 years up until 6 months ago. I used to spend atleast 6-7 hours a day analysing my face, I used to take hundreds of selfies till I was satisfied, I felt like there was no hope, I was constantly dwelling on my appearance subconsciously around people until one day my life took a huge turn, I had a severe panic attack in relation to some personal issues I was having, this issue kept me occupied for 2 weeks or so & in those 2 weeks because I was so busy I retracted from performing my BDD compulsions which were constant mirror checking, and selfie taking, in the 3rd week I took a good glance in the mirror and realised I was looking the best I had looked for a long time! Now my theory of overcoming it involves some spiritualism, in my religion Islam we believe in the evil-eye, this means that you can send negative energy subconsiously through your eyes without realising, I believe christians, and Jews also share the same belief. So I believe the compulsive mirror checking, constantly looking at a portion of my face was sending negative energy in the direction of my appearance. In simpler terms the key to defeating BDD is avoid compulsions, whenever you get the urge to look in the mirror because you feel disgusting, do not under any circumstance look in the mirror, and if you have to, then stare directly into your eyes. Secondly be brave, it’s hard, I’ve been there, and now coming out of the tunnel I can tell you, you can get out of it too. Thirdly be more social, get out of the house, you look absolutely fine, it’s all in your head. Here’s an interesting technique you can try, when you look in the mirror, you’ve programmed yourself to look at your perceived flaw, how about you focus on another aspect of your face in the mirror, then your brain will naturally stop focussing on the percieved flaw, and will stop magnifying it. It just so happens that people with BDD are the most beautiful, be brave, be strong, I know you can do this :) you have every right to be happy, you have every right to get out there, and explore, you’re not inferior, what so ever! Sending love, and positive energy to whoever is reading this!
I tried really hard while watching this not to cry, but I just couldn't help it.
I'm 26 and have been dealing with BDD since I was 11 ( maybe earlier, I can't remember), it's gotten slightly easier but like you say sometimes thoughts rear their ugly head, even during recovery and make you feel so shit. I hated myself when I was younger, not because of my personality but because of the way I looked. I would take time out of each day to look at my body in the mirror and tell myself all the things I had to work on to 'look better' or 'be better'. Things I needed to fix because I was gross and ugly.
Over the years I have learned to love myself, due to changing my lifestyle, working out, etc. UA-cam helped. People like you, helped. Thank you for talking about this Melanie. This is so important.
I just came across this video. Im 35 years old and I have had BDD as long as I can rember. Ive never got help with it. Hearing you read that is exactly how I feel about myself almost everyday. This video made me cry so hard. Thank you for doing this video. Its good to feel like im not crazy or alone. Sending you love💞
I m 36 and have same story as yours.unfortunately whole world thinks its all in my head and i m at fault
I am crying. That letter is me right now. Going to try CBT thank you for the tips xx
How are you now?
i want to talk to you
I have anorexia and BDD and recently it has been so tough. Thank you so being so open because I know how hard it must be to talk about it
i’m here for you! stay strong girl/boy you’re doing great. it’s really hard but we’ll get through it, one da
@@samanthatran8835 Thank you so much
I know im good looking and im amazing in almost every aspect. I'm kind, intelligent, loving, loyal, attractive, tall but body dismorphia can become such a soul crusher and it really diminishes me. I can not stop thinking about it, it is so painful.
Thank you for sharing your story. My boyfriend is struggling with bdd and you’re helping me understand him better. He’s so beautiful in my eyes and it hurts to hear him cry about how ugly he feels
I couldn’t watch this video in one sitting without crying and sobbing. This hit hard.
Melanie you are true inspiration too so many people suffering with this disorder. Your honesty in your video was so amazing. may you go from strength to strength and keep helping people love themselves like they deserve
I don't think wearing a ton of make up is a bad thing, it's just that if you're too afraid for anyone to see you without make up, that's when it becomes a problem. You should do things that you want to do and not do things just to please others.
This was an amazing video Melanie !
Also please do the video about fake friends
I suffered from anorexia and still suffer from bdd and anxiety. I used to cry every day over my appearance but I haven't cried in 2 months. This video finally broke me because finally I could have someone I could relate to. I still look in the mirror obsessively and can never get my mind off how my legs look, how my arms look, how big my nose is, how bad my skin and hair look. It seems that no matter what I do I'm not getting any better. Some days I just wish I wasn't here anymore.
Another thing I deal with is that people always think I'm trying to change for others but I honestly just want to like myself.
I've been to psychiatrists, therapists, changed my role models, journaled, did art, focused on skin care, went on diets, exercised (yoga), you name it.
I just wish that this voice just left and I could be happy
I'm watching from near Manchester in England. I had a fight with my ex-boyfriend today because of social media insecurities and have been feeling teary and low all day. I really love watching your videos because you keep it so real and are so honest about your experiences. Thank you for creating such an open and safe community where people can be themselves xxx
p.s. I've never had BDD, but I think social media pressures these days definitely give rise to unachievable body expectations. I think you are bloody gorgeous and although I'm sure you still grapple (is that even a word?!) with body issues, I'm so glad through awareness you could overcome some of your insecurites. I really look up to you in terms of confidence!
My best friend has been having a really hard year because she developed an eating disorder. It was really hard for me to understand and then I remembered that you had made several videos and I shared them with her and she called me in tears saying that she was never able to put into words what you were. She has been doing a lot better . I just wanted to say thank you for all the advice you give and just being the person you are. You are just my favorite UA-camr of all and keep up the love and positive vibes you spread ❤️🌞
Yes Mel, you've become that person. I'm in recovery after years of having an eating disorder and you have contributed to my recovery. I have felt out of proportion since the age of 6 and I still do now. But I guess there's more to life than how I am on the outside. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Melanie x
P.S. I'm in Gloucestershire, UK x
Hana Mahmoud aww Hana, I'm a subbie and dw habibti- were in this together. Xoxo💖❄️🐋
Gloucestershire! - me too!
I've Been silent sufferer of body dysmorphia for a really long time and I've had cbt but when there's a bump in the road it's bigger problem then ever it's really helped watching this today. Thank you for being out spoken about it
I feel at this moment my issues of BDD has made me numb and mute, you have just hit the nail on the head about how I feel, thank you for raising awareness for this mental illness! I am just at the beginning of this journey and feel like ripping off my face and body as my self-esteem and confidence is non-extenistent at the moment ! I hope that somewhere down the line i can be as open and supporting as you , i know this video is a few years old but just wanted to voice my opinions xox
Someone once said to me that there is beauty in vulnerability. It comes from sharing your struggles and supporting others. Melanie Murphy and everyone else that have shared their experience with BDD is doing this. Thank you for everyone who shared. You are beautiful and you can do this!
"All I want to do is connect with people so they know how I feel inside" - such honest words Melanie. Your videos have really created a great space to discuss important topics that are often neglected. Thank you for putting your vulnerabilities in such a public platform to help connect people together. You have really helped me realise that change comes from within. If you do read this - have a great day!
Thank you Melanie for sharing this with us. I can't imagine this video was an easy thing. For those of you who may be going theough a similar situation, be strong. Love what makes you different because that's what makes the world such a unique place. We are all beautiful human beings! 💜
Ever since I was little I have always suffered with these feelings. I would always compare myself to other girls and wonder why I was so ugly and such an alien. I used to try and change my voice. Having these feelings is just so difficult because my life has been ruined by this disorder. I've struggled with an eating disorder now for so long and have severe depression and anxiety and recently alcohol abuse. Its just such a battle all the time. I'm crying as I'm writing this because I just want to help all the girls out there and boys are suffering with this condition. Thank you for sharing this Melanie, it helps so much to know we are not alone xxxx
it takes true courage to face ones problems, you are so strong! :)
i am in sweden gothenburg:)
I feel like I've had this for years, I've never liked a single part of myself and would and still do get anxious in social situations about what people were thinking about my body so I always felt out of place. I've had people tell me insulting things about my own body claiming to 'just being honest' and somehow thinking that's acceptable and the influence of social media which has led me to be obsessive over my appearance and extremely insecure. It's crazy how powerful our own thoughts can be and I'm slowly learning to accept myself for who I am, I've started doing what I want to do and trying not to fit in with anyones acceptable image of beauty. I still get really bad thoughts and if I'm alone in my room I can make myself feel sick just by overthinking about my body, so going out and doing things really helps, and this video also really helped to knowing I can get better. Thank you so much for posting this xxx
I think I have bdd....I have been suffering for most of my life.but I’ve taken the 1st step and booked in to start counseling...
Hai Melanie, Ruby here. I just wanted to say that I apreciate the video you have a posted today. I think this shows a lot of courage and bravery. I may not have BDD, but I have had an eating disorder when I was younger and I was also diagnosed with Clinical Depression. When talking to people, I always see to sound super confident, making jokes about "how awesome I am' without really believing it. Just like you, I have that little voice in the back of my head, it comments on my look. For me, it's a question of self-esteem and a result of things I did to myself, bad things, that have left scars on my arms (from my wrists to my shoulders) from a time where I hit rock bottom with my depression. I struggle with that addiction every day.
Anyhow, I'm telling you this because I wanted to tell you that even though I'm living in a completely different situation, I understand how you feel and what you went through. I still don't like the way I look, and I avoid mirrors like the pest and I avoid weighing myself because I get panic attacks just thinking about how much I most likely weight, etc. Don't get me wrong, I'm not "fat" but I passed a few tests a few years ago and according to tests I passed, I'm "clinically" qualified as overweight (based on my height and such) even though I'm really not.
Anyways, don't give up, and thank you for this amazing message of positivity you are giving out. I really apreciate it and I am happy that I was able to see this video.
Dia bheith in éineacht leat.
Slán do anois,
Ruby
Oh gosh, I am SO guilty of the hand-checking thing. Around 8 years ago, I was anorexic and I used to place my palm against the side of my stomach nearly every half an hour to check to see how far my stomach went out. Since then, I've become a lot healthier and no longer suffer from an eating disorder, but the hand checking habit is still there (just less frequent). Nowadays it seems like my attention has shifted from my body to my skin -- I'm fortunately not as obsessed as I used to be, but like you said, I still have days where I don't want to leave the house and end up crying over my appearance. It's probably something I'm never gonna get over completely, but I hope I can continue to get better. Thanks for making a video like this :)
I don't have BDD but I definitely have struggled with low self esteem and body image so I really appreciate this video. Plus I think Melanie is beautiful so the fact that she dealt with this really puts things in perspective for me because it just shows that people will almost never judge you as harshly as you judge yourself. Thank you so much for making this video Melanie!
I have BBD. I think I look like an ugly monster in the mirror, especially under bad lighting. One thing I have noticed about fellow sufferers and you Melanie is that you are far from ugly, and often very attractive like yourself. I think you are very brave for disclosing this condition and helping others by doing so. My best wishes to you and everyone.
so proud of how far you've come Mel.. I can't imagine how tough it was for you to talk about such a topic that had taken over your life for a long period of time.. You're such a positive role model for women and young girls.. and are flying that irish flag high. lots of love 💜
I see a lot of the people in the comments are trying to be supportive. However, personally I don’t think commenting on her appearance is a good way to do it. I applaud her courage to share her story. It is a scary thing to put yourself out there
I am so sorry that even such an amazing, beautiful and smart woman like you has to go through this shit..mental illnesses are the hardest and i just wanted to thank you for being one of the brave people who actually talk about these kinds of problems. You're making a huge difference.
I can't wait to buy your book!Melanie, you are so amazing in every aspect and I want to thank you, for helping me realise that things do get better and I'm not alone. Just recently I have fallen into "my old ways", however, for me no matter how hard I try I can never be happy with myself. You look absolutely stunning in this video and I will forever love and support you ❤️ xxxxx
I have BDD and I've had it for quite a while. Right now I just had enough of that mean voice inside my head telling me I am gross, too fat or ugly. I am trying to love myself for who I am. I find it helpful to just stand in the mirror naked and just look at myself and sum up things I like about my body. Just looking at myself has helped me realizing how my body looks, because I always have avoided looking at it. I really want to thank you Melanie for helping me through your videos. Just by listening to your voice and following your life it helps me feeling a little bit happier everyday. Thank you, you're such a beautiful and amazing person inside and out
I'm a guy, and my whole life I've been told I'm goodlooking and cute from everyone, but when I look in the mirror I seem to only focus on flaws that people tell me are either normal or attractive, I would have insecurities seasonly, and whenever I overcome one another arises and occupies what i see in the mirror.
I have had hints and compliments that otherwise would be definite proof that I'm not hideous, but I'd find myself fighting to disprove those compliments and somehow think they're all lies.
I really don't want to look back when I'm 50 yo and see my young photos and dwell over how goodlooking i was and how I'm not anymore.
Me too🙁
@@leticiaabarbb hope we get better
i've gotten this too, but i feel like the ugliest person in the world sometimes. i'm currently working on it but i feel like its something i cannot overcome on my own
most relatable thing i’ve ever heard. lots of guys find me attractive, and lots of people call me pretty etc… but for some reason those compliments make me feel worse, because i can’t see it and it’s so frustrating. all my life i’ve been called attractive but i can’t see it, at all. li start to feel like maybe they’re lying? maybe they’re pitying me? all i do is obsess over my appearance & flaws. all that’s on my mind is what i look like rn and to other people. in school i avoid mirrors bc i’m afraid they will ruin my mood, but then right when i get home i’m getting up every five seconds to go check the mirror, in hopes for that little slice of confidence that lasts for two seconds. it’s so exhausting, no one around me understands. everyone can see the way this has affected my personality & mental health and no one stops to ask me if i’m okay. my parents see how much this is on my mind, im always sleeping, always down, and in a bad mood, and they don’t just stop to ask that maybe their daughter isn’t ok. they only talk to me when i start sobbing to them ab it for the 50th time. they “comfort” me by telling me that everyone calls me pretty , and that sm guys r attracted to me & that it’s stupid to feel this way, and although it makes me feel good for a good five seconds, after that they don’t bring it up ever again. i cried to my mom on how i can’t do this anymore & that i need help. and i feel like she doesn’t care, and she said “yea i care, i let u miss school” and after that she hasn’t brought it up since, even tho she’s admitted she can see that i’m always down, and that i haven’t been my normal self in years.!
Thank you for being so open and honest about still having days where you think about it and don't want to leave the house. I've felt for a long time that I'd never ever get to a 'cured' point because it seems impossible to just....not constantly do these things or have the obsessive thoughts. Weirdly enough, you admitting that there is the occasional day actually makes me more hopeful that the other 90% good days can happen for me.
I'm almost 25 and I just want to have a single year in my twenties that I'm having fun and not held back every day by the obsession with my body and face. I think when you're the most truthful about the eating or the thoughts or any details it actually helps me the most....so just wanted to let you know that.
Thank you so much... for this for who you are and for everything you do. Not many people know I've suffered with body issues and still do. Thank you for being so strong and so full of love. ❤️
I actually kept listening to you read your diary entry and I burst into tears at the relation. It's exactly how I've felt most of my life, especially growing up and making comparisons of myself to everyone, especially my best girl friends. I still struggle with this a lot in my day to day life
I'm from America, California specifically. I'm recovering from anorexia nervosa and it's been terribly hard. I feel I have BDD as well. Funny enough, I just checked my hips before watching this video 🙄 haha. I have been to therapy and it's been getting easier. Today was a harder day since I plan on going out with my bf and indulging. There's still a voice that says "don't eat!" But I'm fighting it really hard. Love you Melanie!!!!
Rachel P I have the same problem and it's ruining my life
@Melanie Murphy can I just say that you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever come across on the outside and the inside. You have gorgeous eyes amazing eyebrows beautiful brown flowing hair. Rosy glowing skin even without your makeup, cute rosy lips ( again without makeup, and an amazing figure that accentuates your body type beautifully. You have a cool and trendy fashion sense. You. Believe that people shouldn't compare with others and instead should focus on being the best version of themselves that they can be, because everyone is different and that is a wonderful thing. This is something that has been lost in this day and age because society tells us that success comes from looking a specific way. Which for most is an impossible and unrealistic goal to reach. What you teach to others really makes you a role model, and an inspiration to others. Over al you are an amazing human being, and I am so glad that I have taken the time to really start watching your videos. I find them very calming and relaxing, and have realised that I need to start being more honest with myself. Instead of telling myself false information about my body. So thank you. ❤ xx
Melanie you gorgeous human!!😰😍 such an important topic, thank you for always being so open and sharing your struggles with us all❤️ love you✨❤️
Tears streaming down my face by the end💔
Hi Mel, I am so glad you finally made a video about this. I am 22 Irish and have BDD and its because of my PCOS, I suffer with weight and excess hair. I have terrible self confidence because of it. I realized it was taking over my life. Hiding from any photographs of myself taken by others, seeing myself at another angle and worried thats what people see me like every day! Looking at myself in windows and mirrors constantly thinking if I look ok, being scared to go outside for fear of peoples stares or judgement that probably arent even there. Thinking I looked manly, constantly poking at my fatter bits and worrying about my appearance 24/7, I still look in mirrors and comb my hair and move things around on myself always worrying what ppl think of me and I am convinced im still as big as I was despite losing 35lbs and im hating my saggy tummy and my flappy arms and wobbly thighs and some days I cry in the shower over it all and I dont feel pretty at all and im always always comparing myself to the people I wanna look like aka petite and feminine girls where as im short and stumpy instead with a big jawline and bushy brows. It gets in the way of relationships and my mental health and I just hate it all. No one has been able to convince me to love myself and I think I need therapy :/ but does therapy even work? thanks for your read! love - Miu
I am pretty certain that the past year I have been struggling with body dysmorphia, I dropped from a size 16 to size 12 through better eating and excersize but instead of helping my confidence, all I began to care about was weight. I developed binge eating, began googling the measurements of celebrities and choosing the measurements I want to be based off them, I made a skinny inspo board on pinterest with over 2.2k pins. My friends began to get really pissed off me because it was all i talked about... But for some reason, since moving away to university, I've finally stopped caring so much, i don't know how or why, but for the moment I just don't care. There have been days when my weight still brings me down but it's not on the same level as it used to be. Hopefully It'll last.
Infact Melanie, when I was at the lowest point I sent you a huge dm on instagram very similar to the letter you read at the start. Reading back on it now it hurts to see how much pain I was in.
Leah HUGS! 💘
Thank you for this, I never wanted to admit I had this disease, but my mom has pointed it out to me several times. I
OBSESS over my nose. I truly believe it is too big for my face, it's bulbous, and has a hump, and it has kept me in my house for the passed year. For as long as I can remember I have experienced this drowning feeling of "ugly" in the midst of hanging out with friends or being around boys. Every little thing triggers it and it is constantly on my mind. I am going to get a nose job, lip injections, and possibly accutane, but I need to learn to accept where I am now. Thank you again for pushing me to open my eyes to this disease that has been destroying me my entire life. My favorite place to come to is UA-cam for it, and I have been trying to recover without even realizing it for a while now. I just need to put a face on it this time:)
madison chris oh my god I'm the exact same with my nose!! I've been looking through the comments for someone talking about this regarding their nose. I absolutely hate it and it's because I too feel like it way too big for my face and it has a bump. I feel like every single person on TV, on social media, in magazines, they all have small or proportional noses, and it makes me feel like utter shit! I constantly think about how my nose looks to others and I take pictures of it everyday just to make myself feel shit because I know I hate it. It's sadly nice to know someone relates to that I guess
I was never able to distinguish bdd “voice” in my mind. I always thought it was my thoughts which I had under control and was logical. I’m constantly feeling my stomach and ribs which I’m most insecure about. I’ve had crazy extreme thoughts but thought they were normal.
I've watched UA-cam for years and I think Melanie is actually the person that has had the biggest most positive impact on me. Melanie you are wonderful, your videos on mental health are kind of a rock to me. everything you stand for in terms of mental health is wonderful, thank you for everything, you are more beautiful and amazing than you will ever know ❤❤
I wish there was a button for jealousy that i could switch off 😭
I know this feeling. I know this strange but i find contentment I’m not alone in this.
S😢😢😢
I remember watching this video when you first uploaded it and thinking ''that sounds really familiar'' and now, a year later, I finally got the courage to tell my therapist about my obsession with how I look/parts of my face and body that I hate. And today I was diagnosed with BDD. I remembered this video and came back to it, and it honestly helps to know that I'm not the only one going through this. Thanks Mel xx
You are so strong Melanie
This hits so deep with me. I haven't gotten officially diagnosed but I am going into graduate studies in psychology and absolutely positive that I have been suffering from this from about the same age-- 11 or 12. My obsession (though more obsessions have come and go) is my under-eye circles/bags. I cover them up every single day. My rosacea and acne scars also bug me quite a bit. I have struggled with eating disorders in the past as well. It truly is like seeing yourself as a monster. People don't understand, really. They think it's low self-esteem, but it is in the DSM next to obsessive compulsive disorders. It's so difficult every day to deal with this disorder. Sometimes you just want to shake people and get them to realize that the real problem is that we suffer from extreme emotional pain almost every single day, sometimes every waking moment. No amount of assuring us that we're beautiful or that beauty is only skin-deep or that we just have to stop thinking of ourselves that way is going to help. Medications and therapy are the only way to deal with this disorder. And understanding, because it feels so isolating and scary.
God I’m only 5 minutes in this video and I’m crying over how much I relate to everything she’s saying. It’s so strange though because I can feel so disgusting and can see so much wrong with me then a few months later I’ll look back at a picture and I don’t see the problem... but then I’ll look in a mirror and the issue of still thinking I’m seeing something there still remains I just don’t get it. So debilitating i literally have been hiding from the world for years now and I’m so tired of it
My relationship with my body has changed so much for the better in the last few years. I used to be so worried about my shape and my weight and what others thought of me. I've been practicing yoga for 10 years now but really started getting into the mental and emotional side of it 3 years ago. It has helped me build such a fierce appreciation for my body and what it can do. Not only has it shaped my body differently, but it's shaped my mind in a much healthier way. And the community at my local studio plays a huge part in that as well. Loving, wonderful people who build each other up :)
Thank you SOO much for making this video Melanie! Was having a low self esteem day today. Missed college because of it! So glad that I could relate to some of the things that you were saying! Your such a brave person so thank you!!
You’re courageous and your openness on this topic is going to help many people. I have suffered BDD for many years but recently diagnosed (1 year ago). There aren’t as many videos out there about BDD. I love how you point of that we can find comfort in our misery which can also make it hard to recover.
Thank you so much for talking about this - found it super helpful xxxx
My heart breaks for 2011 Melanie, but celebrates with joy for the you of today. I'm so proud of the strides you've made and your sharing this journey with us.❤
thank you so much for talking about this. hearing your diary entry really struck a chord with me, because i wrote some pretty nasty things about myself when i was younger too. i've since thrown my old journals away.
I cried as you read your journal entry, because I could have written the same thing a few years ago. Well done for addressing such a difficult topic and I'm sure this video will help people who are currently suffering from BDD.
Sorry to interrupt a good video, but holy shit you look gorgeous.
looked gorgeous as well:D
I'm a person who tries to look beyond the shell into the hearts of people. I don't care how my friends or anyone else looks like. But I have to say that every time I click on a video from you, I think: 'Wow, she is so beautiful.' I'm so glad you're doing better!
YOU ARE A GORGEOUS HUMAN BEING, INSIDE AND OUT!! I honestly mean that, sending you so much love from Peru ❤️❤️❤️
just watched melanie’s newest video about postpartum recovery and this popped into my recommended. i’m so proud of how far she’s come
Thank you for this. I just came across this. I cried as I watched I was so triggered. I took a test and scored 15/20 for BDD. I am going to look into therapy.
I just recently found out that I have body dysmorphic disorder by doing my own research. I thought I had just had low self esteem but I was wrong. When you read your diary entry, I was on the verge of tears because It was like you had read my mind. People think just complimenting you will fix it but it doesn't. Every time I check the mirror or my phone camera, I see everything that is wrong with me and it makes me want to curl up into a ball and live in a hole so that I do not have to let other people see my face. This video gives me hope that I can get over it because this has just gotten worse over the years and I am TIRED of feeling like this. Thank you for posting this video and making me feel less alone when it comes to dealing with this.
Really love how open you are in these videos, you have a lot of courage Melanie & it's helping a lot of people. Thank u - love you lots❤️
HEY! stop and read this
I started expressing STRONG symptoms of BDD when I was 10 years old, in a few months I started telling my parents, my family, my friends.... but I was ostracized, people saw it as something wrong and like it was my fault, by 11 years old I would shake uncontrollably in classes and could not speak to people my age anymore, my parents didn't care either, after years I developed depression and anxiety in extreme levels, started missing classes and pulling away from people, by 17 I had developd a tick from severe stress, and again my parents DID NOT CARE, I was first in class even with all the problems, but after that I left my studies and started pretending to sleep in classes to cover my shakìng, then bullying started.... So I reacted and fought classmates and teachers if needed. By 20 I begged for psychiatrist appointment and finnaly found one, he put me on a load of xanax and antidepressants bur nothing ever worked, now I'm 26 and I blame my parents for all the pain and agony in my life, nobody deserves to live under these circumstances, only agony, depression and will to kill and be killed. If I don't get relief from this pain before my death I will make all humans close to me suffer 10 times worse. So be careful, DO NOT have children to live them to suffer or I WILL find you.
I have severe facial BDD, nobody understands and it won't ever go away but I deal with it
When I get one of those 'good days' when everything is perfect... I feel amazing. Nobody ever sees me without a full face of makeup, I even sleep in it lashes and all.. I only recently take it off for bed in front of my boyfriend but I still can't look him in the eye and I hide my face.
Does anyone else feel tired all the time?
literally same. it's my face mostly. then my arms & stomach especially. pain.
I can relate to this so much. Litteraly nothing helps and I wish there was a switch to just put off having bdd.
You have a boyfriend that’s proof that you’re physically desirable.
Omg , I go through the Samething..also with my bf and can’t look him in the eye or when it’s that intimate time it feels weird and I hate I’m that way.🙏🏽🤍
Sameeeeeee lmao but I can Alr tell ur gorgggg asfff I have body and facial dysmorphia and it sucks alottt because even tho it may not be true ( hopefully it is tho ) most ppl compliment me online and tell me I look “ adorable “ “ beautiful “ and it melts my heart because as a trans girl getting misgendered all the time and shamed for being underweight causs I’ve had an ED since 14 and still recovering ppl Jus don know when to stop I go out in summer in jeans , and a sweater and my mom is always like “ too hot for that take it off “ and I’m like “ hell no “ and sometimes I even stay in the bathroom for hours looking at my face seeing how weird it looks and I start crying for a longg long time . Like it’s rlly a serious illness and it tires. Ppl out
Watching from Cape Town, South Africa 😊 I've had self-esteem & body image issue since I was a teen. I was always a bit chubby & I started getting acne around 12/13, which only cleared entirely when I was about 24 with the help of medication. How fat my face & tummy look are always something I think about. One of my biggest role models is Amy Lee from Evanescence; she's never been super skinny & her focus has always been on creating quality art over the superficial. Looking up to women like her helped me a lot 🙂 I'm really glad that you talk about issues like these, it really helps seeing someone else go through the good days and the bad days. Thank you, Melanie 💚
So helpful; love that you create a safe space for people to talk about such vulnerable topics 💕
I can't explain how grateful I am for you making this video, I have realised in the past few weeks that I may be struggling with BDD. My view on my appearance started to scare me and I can see the negative impact it is having on my diet and health, I am skipping meals and then binging when I haven't eaten enough.
I know I need to seek help and I will do, but I just want to thank you for being brave and talking about an issue which people don't discuss often. Sending you all the love and warm wishes in your recovery 💗
...I know I have this. I don’t want to tell anyone because they’d think I’m looking for attention. When I’m really only looking for help.
Vanessa_ JZ - I posted this earlier today on another bdd video, so figured I’d copy and paste it for you.
I’ve got bdd, ocd, depersonalization, derealisation. I’m not ashamed in the slightest. It’s not a weakness ( if anything it will make you stronger and more resilient than you ever would have been if life just went perfect in a little happy bubble )
They developed when I was in my early twenties in my first year of college when my male pattern baldness first became noticeable, I’m now thirty and I still have these debilitating ( if you allow ) conditions. You will have them for life if you have them. They can become virtually non-existent when you address the cognitive issue and do the right things making sure to stay disciplined. But they can always come back if you go back to wreckless behavior/habits as your brain is wired that way. It’s up to you how much the condition grows or stays in remission. They all seem to go hand in hand. Sleep and exercise is absolutely imperative. How long you sleep and the quality is especially significant. For instance; I had a really bad day today. Spaced out. OCD, groggyness, numbness, depression, etc. all this is due to the fact that I over slept by about 3 hours to what I normally would. I literally emerged from bed a different person.
Cannot stress enough just how important the right amount of sleep is for those suffering with these chronic cognitive conditions which drastically affect perception and how your brain processes images.
I recommend less than eight hours. 6 - 7 is ideal.
I really feel after suffering with these chronic conditions for over 9 years, that SLEEP - is without a doubt the single most important aspect to feeling good again. After that comes diet and exercise. Obviously fresh air, socializing, goals etc;
But without the sleep aspect being maintained, you can forget about anything else working. Nothing you do will work unless your sleeping patterns/circadian rhythms are correct.
Take it from me, two days ago I was myself, full of confidence and energy. All it took was one night staying up to long and sleeping in too long to throw everything else out of balance. You really have to be relentlessly disciplined with your sleep.
I’m still learning this the hard way 9 years later.
I have awful sleep habits. Don’t be like me. Don’t let those habits develop. Stamp them out and fix your fucking sleep as it’s 100% connected to your cognitive functionality.
You need to own it and take control, you need to learn to recognize it when it starts. You must become a professional at diagnosing yourself. You must become like the Facebook algorithms - nothing slips by you and when it starts you notice immediately and take your control back. Over time this will become second nature and you will be like a fucking machine, trust me. I’ve been suicidal in the past and had episodes so bad I was hospitalized. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You will learn that the condition is similar to a spoiled brat. The more you spoil ( feed your compulsions ) the more power you give it. Give it no credit and ignore it - no matter how much it kicks and screams like a little brat to get its way, remember you are the rational adult. You are in charge 😉
Good luck in your recovery 👌
if they think it is attention seeking then they won't help even when they'll come to know that you're actually now
I’ve been sobbing while staring in the mirror everyday for the past I think 3months... I just started googling about it because I thought there must be more to it than just hating my body. But after watching this video I feel kind of self-diagnosed... I’m in tears right now because your diary entry really does hit home and I feel so stuck and helpless now... anyway I’m going to actually finish watching this video to find out what to do. Thanks in advance Mel x