WHEN NARCISSISTS LIE...
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- Опубліковано 12 сер 2023
- #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabusesurvivor When narcissists lie, they can be so adamant about things that are obviously not true, it can make us wonder if they believe their own lies. The reality is much more complex than a simple yes or no.
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Any many ,miney,moe,caught a lying narcissist by the toe.I prayed to God and He gave me the strength to let them go.😂😂😂
The pattern I have come to see in the two main narcs in my life. (family of course)
1: when it becomes obvious they do not know something they lie.
2: The lies are mostly random nonsense that sounds like it might be vaguely related to the topic.
3: THey lie in hopes of finding a point they can feel superior from.
4: If called out on the obvious lie, they just start with another one and act as if everything before it never happened.
5: They will keep going with this pattern of lying and restarting in the hope to gain an upper hand near indefinitely.
6: The cycle only breaks when one of you has become so frustrated they walk away.
The only counter move I have found is that as soon as you see the pattern start lock the conversation in on what it is about and hold it there. Call out every lie they tell for what it is and then immediately drag the conversation back onto the real topic and hold it there no matter what they say or do. (Tactical debate strategy of sorts)
Do this enough times and they will start avoiding you at all costs including doing duck and cover running away in public settings when they see you.
The downside is that if they are high enough level narc they will go to any length to destroy your image and reputation even if they have to destroy their own world to take you out. (That is the hell I am living right now.)
As soon as it is obvious narc is prevaricating with a shielding lies, go no further, just back off and look for a permanent exit!
Any continuation with the charade you are throwing sawdust at the 🌙
It was a big help for me when I fully wrapped my head around the fact this is a pathologically dishonest person. They play up an honest person, but when I really stepped through memories of interactions, I realized nearly everything they would say is a lie, or at least their intention and motivation behind whatever they were acting our was a lie. When I would hear things like "I don't know what you're talking about", that's a lie. "I didn't mean it". lie. "I can't control it". lie. "I'll never do it again". lie. "But I do care about you and respect you." lie. It's amazing how you can experience this for years and never have it really jump out at you "they are lying. they are always lying. there is no reason whatsoever to respond to anything they say because you'll just get another lie". They will just go through their tool box of dishonest statements, they will try one, if that doesn't work, it's on to the next, and so on. At the very end they'll finally "see the light" but that's also a lie - they're just down to the final tool in the box which is telling you whatever they think you want to hear, but that too is a lie - it's just a way to make you the bad guy when the final lie doesn't work either. It's all lies. It doesn't mean anything and never has.
Narcs see their 'partners' as a skips full of tributes - initially!
By and by, narc offloads into their handy storage whilst loading their shit into your skip!
Then indicate you to vamoose, with your shit laden skip because their new 'significant other' needs to set their skip of tributes at the vacated spot;
the beat goes on 😕
Well said!
When you show them evidence that illustrates their stories don’t add up they continue to lie and begin hiding other evidence. Heads up.
Yup that’s EXACTLY WHAT MY EX NARC SAID when I confronted her about an Affair she a was a having THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
One way to tell that they are lying is when they smirk or roll their eyes. They are fully aware of the games their playing.
The high-controllers get to decide what is important and what is not. They live only in the now. They have no memory of past performance and any kindness directed at them is soon forgotten. And since, they have no future thinking capacity (only future faking), they cannot anticipate how their actions impact others. They live in their minds and that which does not align with their perception of themselves, is shut down and their feelings are facts. At an early age, they learned to compensate to survive and lying became preferable than living in reality.
I love not fitting into the Narcissist's nightmare stories. Thank you for elaborating on their twisted ways. Sounds and feels so tragic, only a narc can come up with this kind of truth.
If I were to upvote all the videos I want to, professional or not, all of your account would be in my favourites.
Thank you Angela. Please put some other way to donate to you other than better help. I've had a lot of therapy and now watch narcissism videos as a form or meditation and a reminder what types of people exist. I also watch for a sense of community and comfort.
and they are SO good at it......he asks me "are you calling me for a liar?" If he asks that again, which is hard to tell because once the business part is done, we'll be no-contact, but then I will say "yes. Yes you are. But don't worry I don't have my lighter with me. However, the truth speaks for itself"
Narcissists lie when their lips are moving.
The difference between empaths and narcissists, is a large as the difference between golden retrievers and wolves
I truly appreciate your in-depth analyses of this phenomenon called narcissism. It really goes so much beyond of what we initially think it is and 3 years of learning about it, it doesn't cease to astonish me what human mind is capable of producing and how powerful it really is. It actually even scares me a bit, to be honest.
Your grasp on this disorder is quite astounding!
Such an amazing description of their "script". So freaking sick!
Narcissist don't face 👀 reality ❗
This is interesting around narcissist compartmentalisation of their lives. Plus narcissist life is what it looks like, not what it is. Fascinating. Really well done trying to explain such a complex set of delusion.
You must of spent a long time with a narcissist. It takes a long time to see this for yourself. You also explain it really well. The it’s like they made a narrative for you and you can’t step out of that narrative, with the calling out their lies, it’s your fault. Well done.
This makes a lot of sense. Among many other confusing lies I was told to my face “and you hit me!” which was a complete lie and disturbing. When we later discussed that statement during counseling he eventually explained that we were having an argument and I was near him and it “felt that it was aggressive”. He admitted that I never actually touched him but offered no explanation to why he said it. Somehow he twisted his feeling into an actual act, said it as a statement, and said it to me the one person who knew it was a lie. I can only imagine what he said to other people.
20:23 i think that the perfect term you are searching for here is "non player character" originating from video games where it is the industry term for the "characters" you interact with that are are just the programmed simulations (code) instead of an active avatar of another actual live "player" (person). narcissists absolutely insist on conducting themselves in single player mode so to speak (solipsism) despite reality being fundamentally multiplayer.
Yes! Good analogy!
Amazing! This is exactly how she's been acting about her cheating. It makes so much sense. Wow!
This is the second time I am watching. I am so glad the viewer asked you to journal your short video on this topic. I am wanting to add this comment to your root of who they are. THEY FEEL THEY ARE STRONG AND CONFIDENT AND A PERSON WHO IS NOT THIS WAY IS WEAK. What ever they feel is healthy is healthy. The more times they do it the stronger they get and calling them out is negative to them so you don't care about them. They actually will yell at you in public you are killing me. What is the matter for you.... As they are depressing you and leaving you desperate. Shaking you to the core. I liked this video Cuz... I get tired hearing how they are emotional infants when they are not from the shamans and doctors. This video can leave the victim getting closure on reality. THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU. Right on.. the accusation part of being the point to the narcissist. And, getting their respect is to be the way they are and the size of your wallet, purse, body parts, position in life (how much power your position is)... I can wrap my mind around and understand you. The way you are explaining all your videos. This brings closure for viewers. I want my comment to leave you with me complimenting you in a non - charming a.k.a controlling way. See how they leave me explaining myself to everyone. And, it makes me seem creepy.. I just took a peek at the comment below mine. And, I have the same words in a different way as them. I believe there is future topics in this comment. I been watching videos for a while now and just recently found your channel. The Ted Bundy comment" same same" as a narcissist 🖤. I can not believe how many people are like this. They are pied pipers(vipers) ... and we start the wave.🌊🌊🌊.. Bye.. Bye... NARCY.. 👋... bye bye. Great video...
"I think" therefore I believe!
FYI, Gravity does Not Exist!
A narcs whole persona and life is a lie and so when we query them about their omissions or commissions, they bluster or rage - such is their wont
At one point in time one of my exes thought I cheated on her when she saw one of my female coworkers calling me and texting and even when I promised her that I did not and will not cheat on her because I wouldn't ever do that to a partner that I wanted to marry, she basically told me that "Well, married people cheat too". I was like bruh what?
I can relate to the compartmentalization that occurs when there is an affair. We are characters in their script and my experience is not important to him. When i discovered the picture of the other woman and the 1800 texts (in 3 weeks) on our phone record, he told i was reflexively hostile to him. He said i was stalking him on the phone (ive always had access to our phone record..duh). Pay no attention to whats going on in my other secret life. When i got his divorce court narrative, i was shocked at the fairy tale he was telling about our life together. It was his narrative, his script.
'....reflexively hostile...'
Good, 😆
Very good 🤣
Well done, as usual. In a related video about how we are simply parts in their play, you likened it to being a TV set, and they expect full control.
But
When you go off script, it's like you are a TV that keeps changing its own channels, changing volume, turning on and off.
I have shared that image several times. So on target.
Thx!
Thank you 😊 love from Albuquerque. Its pure insanity.
My husband, who cheated on me several times, let me live the horror of these events, totally destroyed me and our 2 kids. Then years later told me that none of his infidelities ever happened. That really screwed me up. I know he's lying about everything. Smh
8:40 This is exactly what I figured out about my (now ex) covert partner: containerizing. I thought that this covert must have a figurative container with me in it, and anything that wasn't happening directly with me had nothing to do with me. Like you said, no wonder lying wasn't a problem for this covert. Everything and everyone were containerized and irrelevant to the other containers. I tried to explain to the covert that they are the same person no matter what container they are in, it's still the covert doing the actions, and they were still someone I was in a relationship with But I don't think the covert knew what I was talking about--and didn't want to know.
Also, you exactly described the other point I thought was happening too: everyone was a character in the covert's imagination (maladpative daydreaming) and scripts. The covert didn't even see me. I still don't get the point of my even being there at all.
But I've suspected that, for this person, their maladaptive daydreams are like the new virtual reality systems which incorporates real-life with fake VR.
All of this felt like horrible gaslighting and cheating: like I was one of many mistresses to my own partner. Gross.
Thank you for your videos ! After watching hundreds of different channels on this topic, you have hit the nail on the head with your videos. I really relate to them. Thank you for sharing
Their feelings are facts
I’m not sure where you obtained your perfect sense on how the narcissist brain works It’s obvious to me you’ve lived with one but it’s more then that I’m realizing how they think now because of your videos and it is a big help I wish I had known this sooner but better late then never I suppose😊
Come on guys, we shouldn’t have called them out. It’s our fault.😂
😮 you are too good at this😂
Thank you for your videos! They are so helpful! Could you please talk about the narcissist's lack of respect and contempt for others, and how they are so contrary to anything that anyone else has to say?
That’s a great idea. Thank you.
This is spot on! Thank you.
wow wow wow
a narc mind believing they are god has everything to do with it
gravity is a theory
apples 🍎 & balls falling is weight & density
still a great video 👍
If gravity isn’t real, then neither is weight.
@@LookingBehindtheMirror
not true, the theory implies an intelligent force that holds people, vehicles & oceans attached to a spinning ball whilst allowing clouds, butterflies 🦋 & balloons 🎈 to float about with ease
it's actually as unscientific as animals
morphing into men through reproducing
~> never observed
~> not testable
~> not repeatable
& therfore ~> not scientific
rather ~> faith in a theory
It is called dereistic thinking ;
How young children think🤔
And as I listen to your videos and other channels on this topic, I contrast this knowledge with my personal experiences and I reflect on it all, I cannot help thinking that it looks like most religions were most likely founded by narcissists - what's your take on this?
I feel like it’s probably best for me to stay in the lane I’m in, but I definitely have strong feelings on that topic. As far as cults go, I don’t think it’s possible to be a cult leader without being extremely narcissistic.
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼💥💥💥💥
god has nothing to do with it
Please, I want to send you a super sticker. A way I can act on my grateful words. I will check your hash tag.
I don’t know if I have any of that stuff working, but I really appreciate the sentiment. I’ll figure out how to use those features at some point.