***** In 1934 a wall st.-er and a doctor came to understand that connection and went on to create the first 12 step program. Those 12 steps are used to help heal the addict and then help heal the addict's connections with the outside world, work, family, friends etc etc. They were wise beyond their times.
writerconsidered and indoctrinate them into religion.... i would like to see a secular approach to addiction if it is going to be payed for with tax payer money in the united states. separation of church and state and all.
Eli Nope What you don't know could fill a big book. First off this isn't about money 12 step groups are self supporting and do not accept money from outside sources including the government . Second Religion? I think not. 12 step groups do not require you believe anything. There is no defined god and no defined belief. Everything is self defined thereby cutting out dogma as we know it. Third the governments role is simply decriminalize drugs which cost nothing and pay for treatment as public health service that does cost money but far less then prison, Also that is completely separate from 12 step programs.
As a recovering addict, I think you are spot on...when I overdosed and woke up in ICU the doctor asked me why I did what I did and I said “to escape reality”....now I’m sober 6 years, and after completely changing my environment, I’m now close to finishing medical school!
Really happy for you!! ❤ And I agree 100% Just because a person may have a loving family, or ppl who love them, doesn't mean they aren't deeply lonely or intensely unhappy ,or suffering psychologically in some way. And that's the whole point that ppl are missing. I know this from personal experience! I can't tell you how much his talk resonated with me!! I was forced to use pain medication but it wasn't until shtf several years into it that I started struggling with addiction. I am surprised how many people who haven't experienced addiction themselves have it all figured out 😞
Thank you Johan for making this.. I was on the street of L.A. for 5 years slamming fentanyl, and because my brother saw this video and showed it to my family, they started visiting me. Fast forward a bit, after having 2 surgeries from an infection on my spine, I got an infection on my heart and had a stroke and basically woke up in the hospital.. I now have 200+ days clean, which is the longest I've been clean for since I was 13.. all this to say that without this video and your studies on the subject, they wouldn't have visited me on the street. Thank you.. -- Chris Moran Thank you EVERYONE. Just to update you all, I have over a year clean now and am a Data Analyst for work! -- Chris Moran
holy faaackk I'm so happy to have read this! good on you man and I'm so happy your brother took this video and shared it. this makes me feel so good. i hope for nothing but peace in your mind and love in your soul for all the days my friend!! stay well :)
This guy is so right in the money, it's scary! I feel like he knew implicitly what I have been going through with not just this video but also the TED Talk about depression. He mentioned he wrote a book I will definitely look him up!
The first time I went to AA meeting. I was showed compassion for the first time in my life. I was gonna sprint out of there, but I stayed. When I heard that line. That memory stuck with me. I wanted to change after it and treat people better.
👍 but its always CONDITIONAL bonding on OTHERS TERMS! i choose solitude n self help/love over other ppl n their abusive terms of returns if u want them in YOUR life! Uck that! Love ME as i am or eff off! N look at URSELVES FIRST!
Yeah, me too, and frankly, even though I've lived in NYC most of my life, I think I will have to move to France (where my family is from) because everyone here is so convinced they know better.
@@Melissa-dd7ys my dear, i have that food thing too. I've seen the most encouraging comments here by good hearted people in this same struggle it gives me hope.
Crazy as it sounds it’s true 10 years ago I was a user , my mom found out after the back nd forth of arguing one day she told me “ I’ll. Be here for you regardless I love you either way” I got sober the next week . Been sober 10 years
Wow. I am trying to learn and so have been pasting the following question on several of these posts. Would you be so kind as to consider answering for me... Regarding "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. the opposite of addiction is connection." May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...Or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)...
That is awesome for you but I tell my son the same yet he continues to struggle with drugs. He can be sober a year or two then relapse again... Congratulations to you on your sobriety
I just got out of detox after relapsing after 17 years of sobriety and we watched this video in there. So spot on. Addiction is lonely. We need connection.
Amazing job. I hope your still continuing your journey to sobriety. Please go checkout some of the videos on my page about my personal journey. We are all in this together. You have my support if you ever need it. ua-cam.com/channels/5J8_aWgcKD9cOB3VAndefA.html
I've been posting the following question on several of these comments: Regarding "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. the opposite of addiction is connection." May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...Or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)...
I am a recovering addict in the US and this video is absolutely 💯 correct. Never heard anyone explain it so well. Trying to explain it to nonaddicts is exhausting and most often these people do everything they can to make sure you know that you are a horrible person and that they are way better than you will ever be. These people that say they are trying to help actually make addicts need to use even more. Love is the best medicine for just about everything!
I tottally get what you are saying here as i can remember my dad saying to me i dont know why you would start to used hard drugs as everyone knows its the road to ruin i cant understand it or you and i never will..its simply just to complex for non users to even comprehend..sad really because we could never connect while i was in the throws of my addiction but now im clean i dont hold it agaisnt him for not wanting to understand..
The one thing i always hated from non addicted was the saying well why dont you just not do drugs..yeah that one always killed me and id usually just stop talking to them and walk away..
@@iamthatguyfromslipknot1137 It is hard to explain to a non addict but it is hard to explain to an alcoholic aswell(&people with other addictions),especially when it comes to heroin & crack. People who do coke(not everyone who does it)thinks crack is worse,some think its dirty & they (some) look down there nose at you..I mean i have spoke to alcoholics who think there addiction is not as bad as yours..Also people who don't understand addiction either haven't been affected by it,so they don't learn about it. And they judge on what they have heard. They can be ignorant (not on purpose)..I mean i understand why some people think like they do. Also it can be the way they have been bought up. Sometimes i find it hard to explain why i started,I mean my aunt just used to say in my day we didn't have drugs we just had to get on with it. I totally understand why she said that. It is hard to explain to people especially hard headed people🤣😂🤣😂.. Anyway i am waffling on now..I hope you are keeping well,please takecare..Sending big hugs,xx Oh and I hope this year brings you happiness,love,joy&peace. By the way my name is lisa,I am using my fellas account as i have forgot my password,it's been a really heartbreaking mind bending year,let's hope this one is better for everyone🤘🤩🤩🤟
The ending made me cry. This is beautiful, a very accurate way to explain the way addiction feels. “The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, the opposite of addiction is connection.”
And if you do certain sobriety programs correctly, the resulting sobriety is about love and connection. Got example, it is always suggested to greet the returning relapser with open as rather than shame.
"Using because you can't bear to be present in your own life." Thank you so much for this video. I really needed to hear this and I'm sitting here crying as I feel my perspective shift about the addicts in my life. Thank you
This guy is on to something, this made me cry because I am an addict and many times in my addiction all I wanted was a connection with someone and to feel loved.
@Sarah Hodgins he wouldn't be there in the 1st place for you to abandon you, a person would need more than speaking monologues believing they're dialogues
One size doesn’t fit all here. Sending addicts to prison instead of finding the root cause will make it worse. We need to get them help and then get them the connectivity / connection they need. We need to throw drug dealers in prison though.
As a meth addict this hit me hard at the end. I'm alone and need people like you in my life but nope everyone looks and judges me instantly.. sad truth. Great talk thank you.
I am a methadon addict for 45 years and was a heroine/cocaine . I am also alone , 58 years old and no family or friends . so i say to you , i love you , and understand U real good. I use 1 day in the week some cocaine (base) so i got something .
I was a heroin addict for half of my life before I fixed up, I am now 9yrs clean but still live in a "empty cage" I don't have many people wrapped around me as I managed to find the connection with myself, when you can say "I love you" to yourself (not in a vain way) you will never be alone. I am finding out the mechanics and science behind life and I am now on the greatest adventure ever! I send love and health to every addict and every other person in this world, one love x
@@River-cm9tz Thank you for your lovely comments. I personally do not use "journey" as an analogy for life, I prefer to use "music" as the analogy, the universe isn't going anywhere, also if you use "journey" as an analogy that means that for most of your life, you will be working towards "the end" whatever that may be, retirement, heaven, success ect. But with music people don't go to concerts or festivals to see the band play the final cord lol it's the same with dancing, there isn't a certain spot in the room where the dance is ment to finish, dancing is all about the dance, so unfortunately people have been cheating themselves all the way through because when people reach the age of 60-65 they will say "I am here, I have arrived" and they will feel pretty much the same as they always have, so I can't stress this enough, life is not about working hard towards the end result as we are not ment to be heading towards anything as such, just stay true to yourselves, keep a pure heart and enjoy the singing and dancing of life :-) x
Terrorfirma King that’s a beautiful explanation, although I believe journey as quite the opposite as in it never ends its always fun that’s why I love traveling, I thoroughly appreciate the wisdom you have shown
@@River-cm9tz that's a fair point of view, and it's good that you haven't put an "end" on your journey, I work in the transport industry and travel over 3,000km per week, maybe this is the cause for me to search for another analogy than "journey" hahaha. I wish you more fun, enjoyment and happiness on you journey :-)
I'm an addict. And this was powerful beyond words. As soon as he said the words at the end of the video: "I love you, whether you are using or you're not. I love you whatever state you're in. And if you need me, I'll come and sit with you- because I love you and I don't want you to be alone or to feel alone." As soon as he said that, I instantly cried. Because tbh that's all I've wanted from people, especially those that I love- and I've gotten only the complete opposite of that all these years. To the point where I don't trust anyone and I have less than a handful of people I do trust and am willing to be around. I'm tired of feeling alone and I'm tired of being alone. Especially when I really could use a friend when I'm going through something that's difficult and I quite literally have no one I can feel safe to turn to for any comfort or even a listening ear. This really hits hard and right in the feels. I wish people would judge addicts less and be more willing to be open-minded and even comfort us somehow because we're not horrible people. We just need connection. We need people to support us and possibly even maybe believe in us if only just a little bit.
@Rene Cross - you are not an Addict. The power of words can keep you trapped. By definition you are not an "active addict" - this is one thing I never agreed with the 12 steps. The reminder that you are powerless, or will be an addict for the rest of your life can have negative affects on people.
@@corneliomaldonado7888 negative affect? People will use any excuse, even blame the 12 steps.......lol My life before recovery was an absolute nightmare....... Today is different...... MUCH
I was holding back until then. I've struggled through addiction for years now and watching this was a breath of fresh air. 'They have connections in their life that they want to be present for.'
It was those very 2 lines that hit me the hardest. I have a long history with addiction and I had never heard anybody, ever, talk about it or describe it in such a way. What struck me, besides the overwhelming compassion in his words, is how he was able to so accurately describe something he had not personally experienced. And to do so in a way that not only explained addiction itself, but also encompassed it's root cause in a way that anyone hearing it would be able to imagine how someone in that situation must hurt inside; and perhaps imagine the sheer emotional desperation that drives the initial search for connection. Connection of any kind. I actually just sent the link to this to a couple family members who have been more forgiving then I've really deserved, but who I know struggle to truly understand.
Can't even explain how much this video has taught me. Thank you Johann Hari. Just today I finally got to see my brother after 8 years and he's been addicted to some drugs that made him struggle an awful lot in his life. Not sure if it is destiny but i spoke to my family about the exact point made in this video, before I watched it, and decided to take action again, but this time around, I decided to help him with more love, attention, affection and empathy. Fingers crossed this concept will help me to help him and change his life. Again, thank you.
Hay Ryan, just read your message, I hope this message finds you well, I just thought I would reply just to say I hope you are hanging in there, I have made a comment on what's going on for me, I'm struggling a bit but I haven't given up and I haven't given in today, I'm hanging in there, anyway I hope this message finds you well all the best, yen,
I an an addict. What saved me from illegal substances was learning instruments. The teacher believed in me for the first time. I wasn't getting bullied, and getting poor grades. I play the drums, guitar, bass guitar, piano, and vocals. The live gigs went away during covid, and I was considering buying on the black market. I had the connection theory since then.
I can't sing or play a musical instrument to save my life, but I enjoy writing and that's what I have been doing, I write songs poetry all sorts really but I can't spell my hand writing is terrible as well, anyway have a great day,
This is spot on. The worse I felt when I was using the more I used. The lonelier I felt or sad I used more. The more society or family came down on me the more I used. Once I finally found someone who loved me regardless of my addiction and was able to put meaning back in my life then I got sober.
Thanks for sharing that. I think along with connection being the opposite of addiction I would also add self-love. We deal with self hatred and self worth issues on an everyday basis. When someone who truly loves us and supports us regardless of our addiction that's when our self esteem grows
It’s a question of dopamine. Surround yourself with things that awakens dopamine in your brain. Most of all also, develop a relationship with Jesus Christ! He will never leave you or forsake you. It’s the truest form of love us humans crave & nothing but He and His love can quench 💖
@@evearcana2392 And that is SPOT ON AND ONLY HE CAN RENEW AND GIVE YOU A NEW HEART ♥️!!!! Thanks for this comment! Because this is why many fall back to it because with out Him. It is impossible and it’s deeper then an addiction and it’s craving a connection that only comes through Him. Everything is temporary and leaves. This is what I learned in the field and help those with all types of addictions and God revealed this to me 20 years ago why many are affected by past and environment and personal.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 My sir name is `Scully`,but I,ve just entered this comment section a few minutes ago, your comment is 10 mths old? What `Scully` are you referring to? I do not see any `Scully`s here except myself.
The most beautiful interpretation of addiction ive ever heard. Tears are in my eyes, I’m 57 days clean and sober and i can confirm love is what we need 🤍 sending love to all the addicts still suffering
@Melissa Fraser Seriously? You see a person suffering and your first instinct is to preach your infinitely loving God that has been letting them suffer? You're a monster.
This made me rethink the distance I've put between me and a family member who is an addict. I don't know if I can trust them again but the least I could do is love and support them.
I've been addicted to opioids and benzos for 8 years. I started when i was 14. Im now sober for more than a year. You can do this everyone, it's not easy buy YOU CAN be sober and HAPPY.
I was addicted to pain pills and then herion from 2002-2008. On 7/4/2008 I did my last line, and then immediately OD'd and hit the floor. They lost me at the hospital, and I was lucky to be brought back on the 3rd attempt. After 2 inpatient rehab stays, countless outpatient programs and 12 step meetings this was the moment that finally made me stop. That said, it was and still to this day is a daily struggle. One thing that's helped me is realizing I'm an addict, and always will be. I know the devil in my details, and that actually has helped me to keep a grip on this issue. The other thing that took me the longest to get over was the overwhelming amount of guilt I carried for all the things I did in the depths of my addiction. I wanted to say sorry till I ran out of breath to let those people I hurt know that I truly was. Thing is, apologies are great, but they're just a phrase at the end of day. What worked for me was realizing that fact, and then realizing that the best thing I could do to make up for those wrongs was to be a better, kinder, and more understanding person to everyone and to try to stop beating myself to death over the guilt. Those people who you want to make things right with may, or may not see that you've changed but you'll know that you are and you will learn to slowly start forgiving yourself. If you stay buried in that guilt, it will eventually take you back to the addiction way of thinking, and you'll eventually go back to whatever the substances were that helped ease that pain. I know this is one very long comment, but I hope it helps anyone who reads it. Know that you can still pull yourself out of the deep end, and you can be a light in someone else's life to help them, and yourself thru the darkness that is addiction. Love you all, and thank you for reading my long winded comment. Apologies for any typos, I'm writing this from the heart, and going back through will only take away from that. Take care.
Basically, seeing this video years ago is the reason I decided NOT to ignore my Mother who had problems with Alcohol anymore, to call her more and give her attention... And it was one of the main reasons that she is now completely alcohol free! And so am I! Ties, Connections and Relationships.... Thank you!
@@DustinShaneYounce Honestly? No, not really... I avoided talking about talking about the alcohol and focus more on the person. It did not help anyway to tell her again and again that alcohol was bad and a problem. She new that herself and it did not work at all. During the spare times she was not drunk or only a little drunk, I focussed on the positive things in life... We got a better connection and as a result she decided life was not that bad at all, and alcohol was DEFINITELY not a solution. Hope everything turns out for the best for you Shane.. Stay strong!
I’m interested in your suggestion but can’t find that title. Is it “Dopamine Unveiled: Dopamine in Evolution, Advanced Cognitive Functions, Health and Disease, Society and Advanced Dopamine Biology!” by Jeff Piek?
Very good talk indeed. Evolutionary and positive. The problem with addiction is the fact that the current situation allows for the negation of addictive behaviour to affect the non addict. This is excruciating and vexatious for those victims of crime that see addicts everywhere stealing, robbing, and begging for their fix of hard drugs. The war on drugs is a failure, give the addict his fix legally while also avoiding crime which affects us all. Stats show that a high percentage of crime is for drug addiction so why are policies and laws and punitive measures still in place when those on the ground, ordinary people like you and me see the negative affects?? Maybe this is because those well to do policy makers and politicians are nicely tucked away in their nice neighbourhoods in their nice jobs with their full bank accounts totally ignorant to the impending realities of the poor life and those that struggle. Decriminalise and give the addict what he needs - at least one positive aspect of this is much less crime which in turn affects the lay man or women in a positive way. Logically, sensible and compassionate. Good talk.
CyberLion Allow others to choose their own path . I could easily criticise and try to shame you and put you down because of your choices . I won’t do that because you have the right to be you just the same as the guy that calls himself a recovering addict . Live & let live .
I agree completely with the" opposite of addiction is connection". I was in a loveless twenty-year relationship and when I was at my lowest (as an alcoholic), he left. The worst thing that ever happened to me ended up being the best. After a year alone and near death I found the connection I had been looking for those twenty years in my climbing community. My climbing family are the people who saved my life and who continually stick by me. I just celebrated nine years sober and connection is what made all the difference.
Excellent Ted Talk . Unfortunately most non addicts either through stubbornness or my personal opinion , a sheer unwillingness to refuse to look at addiction as more then somone who can't control themselves. Just get it together, what's wrong with you. Why can't you just drink like normal people. Now obviously this juvenile mentality comes from a place of ignorance, reluctance , stupidity to an extent and numerous other things or as I previously eluded to a simple unwillingness to challenge oneself's beliefs and allow new thoughts and ideas to maybe, dare I say, challenge old thoughts and even change your way of thinking?? Even in the slightest . For most, of course not. I mean it's sooo much easier to look down upon, shame , and chastise somone with an addiction. The non addict, generally speaking, will never get it, they can't. The most unfortunate revelation is it's not because they simply can't understand addiction . Most don't want to understand addiction
@@kevinloftus7464 Wow you are so right that is exactly what I say most of my family members don't understands I think I have explained to them over a thousand times what is it that an addict feels and that this is not something that anyone would ever want to go through and all they know how to say is just go and seek help when I've seeked help many times and it didn't do me any good but get me even more deeper than what I was and like you said a lot of them just don't want to understand they stick to their opinion and their opinion means more and anyone else's loved your comment perfectly said💯
I'm 7 years clean, my wife is 6 years clean. I've been held hostage, lost my son to the ministry, lost the cars, the house, the money, the business, my wife left to a life on the street where she spent 18 months escaping extreme domestic and gang violence. She ended up pregnant and clawed her way out, she had to escape for two now. we spent 5 years apart healing in recovery. we've been back together for 2 years now and after losing all, today, we closed on a home. I run this podcast full time thanks to a bunch of great organizations in my community. I have a life I never saw coming. its possible. It's an epic adventure. We can recover.
You and your wife have such an AMAZING testimony! I am soooo proud of you!! I am in recovery- 1year and over 7 months sober from alcohol! WE DO RECOVER! WE ARE ALL HUMANS IN NEED OF LOVE AND CONNECTION! 🥰
I lost my big brother to heroin on Sunday, 6/7/2020. His viewing is today. September 6, 2018 he and I sat on his front porch and he showed me this video. I tried to be there for him but I’m human and weak and I failed. Please do everything you can to be there for those who need help. RIP Mattie 💗
Please know this - He would've never wanted you to be hurting like this. It was an accident. But It almost sound as if you may be taking some kind of blame? It was accident so please don't let your mind go there. Instead live your life in the best way you can for you and for him...God Bless You ..
@@peashooter8228 thank you for your kind words. It’s been a long road. I know he’s better now and he accepted God i to his life a few months beforehand. That had brought me so much comfort. I blame myself because he tried to tell me and I had boundaries with it. He was alone and in a motel (two weeks out of 90 day rehab). I was 5 months pregnant at the time and wasn’t allowed to have him stay with me. Part of me still thinks I could have kept it from happening. I know God is with me every day as I still grieve. I just still miss him so much and don’t want to be mad for what happened. I just had so much hope that this time would break the 10 year cycle. God bless you as well.
@@seylerfam7025 I'm so sorry for your loss.. Sometimes all we need to do is let go of the burdens and guilt and believe God's taken care of it all and that He was and still is in control, sending you and your family love
My baby son, 26 years old, died of benzos and kratom (similar to heroin) on 06/30/2019, every 6 months its either Christmas, or 6 months later his birthday. I cry for days at a time. I am an addict and have no life, no social life, I was on the way to the hospital because i wanted to use I called 8 people that said they would ALWAYS be there for me... they all shot me down. Even my other 2 children who blocked me. Am I happy to be alive... Nope.
I have been sober from IV heroin and meth for 15 months. I watched this a few months into my soberity and it really has helped me build a life worth keeping and adjusting my behavior when I start isolating. ❤
"I've been posting the following question on several of these comments: Regarding "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. the opposite of addiction is connection." May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...Or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)...
@@irchristo I believe addiction is a symptom of a larger issue. I wouldnt say the opposite of addiction is connection. I would say the way to recovery isnt just soberity but connection to oneself, others, and their God.
This is spot on. I’ve been struggling with alcoholism for over 20 years. As more and more people distanced themselves from me or just flat out wanted nothing to do with me I just started pushing people away or just refused to start any new relationships. I had no meaningful ones left. Even family I have kept at a distance. Alone is what I felt I had become. It became an identity. Depression, anxiety, dark thoughts of wishing for death to come and deliver relief. My friend who I’ve known since middle school who was also alcoholic passed away two years ago and we used to bet who would go first. At this point I decided to either get busy living or dying. I have had a few slips but I am doing much better and trying to connect with people. Going to AA and reaching out to new friends. I whole heartedly believe in what this man just said. It made me tear up a bit actually. Thank you sir. It’s an important reminder to me.
The best quote I ever read was ‘recovery is making your reality one you don’t want to escape from’, and now I see an addiction craving as a symptom of a deeper problem
Crying my eyes out after watching this, if only more people realised or even entertained these ideas. Alot of respect for this speaker and all who worked with him
May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)...the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. the opposite of addiction is connection. - johann hari
It's the same with drugs tbh. I never thought I would do drugs until my dad cheated on my mom. I'm 14 and have now tried weed, Xanax, LSD, shrooms, adderall, I vape, and the Xanax gave me a seizure in math class after quitting. All the pain drugs take away will be handed back in the form of physical pain and mental suffering when you quit. If your a kid and reading this just don't do it, trust me I know I sound like a jerk and would have laughed if I read this before popping a xan. You do not have it all under control and if people get addicted to these substances so easily what makes you different? If anything your more prone to becoming addicted due to you ur age. Just don't, if you really believe you must smoke some weed or try meditating.
This made me cry. Children need to be taught in public school about mental health and therapeutic tools to cope from trauma and family dysfunction, self awareness and mindset, because a society that emphasizes maths and science while neglecting the human condition does not provide the basic human skills/education for a functioning adult in society no matter how great their SAT score, nor does it allow us to become a great society and reach our human potential. I felt I didn’t get enough connection growing up from my parents, and I have an “addictive personality.” I think we need to teach and emphasize more public education about communication skills, coping skills, and healthy relationships.
This has to start at home with parents and grandparents. This is why we have the problems in schools and society today. No help from parents and they should not depend on the school system to ways of the world and how to cope.
@@shelbyhill147 you’re right. What I’m thinking is, public schools should represent what areas are not being taught at home. So many kids grow up in dysfunctional homes that the hope is, a public education would fill in and make up for the systemic dysfunctional patterns we can see in society due to broken homes.
This hits hard. My dad lost his battle to addiction an exact month after my 19th birthday and as I was just getting into college. I never knew how to deal with his addiction but I know he struggled everyday. He always tried his best for his daughters. I wish he had more time on this earth so that I could show him more compassion in his trying times and maybe it would have helped him get better in the end.
Mary Palen hello ✌🏼 my name is Tyler I’m a recovering heroin addict running an up & coming channel on here that is recovery based and I also give advice & kind words & love to all addicts, ones that are clean and trying each and every day and people who are still using all welcome to my page. My newest vid “ a message to the person who knows an addict” just went up yesterday if you feel like checking it out. Every person that subscribes gets my message closer to the person who’s dead inside and needs it the most ❤️❤️❤️ god bless you
@lost souls Naturally, nobody implied that sobriety equal connection! With regard to the "junkie couples" and the deep connections between them, I believe you"re romantisizing a very painful situation plagued by loneliness and inner void.
May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)
@@irchristo experience with friends growing up and watching them die in some cases. Didn't matter the level of love or acceptance, addicts I've known just take and take. I'm watching one spiral right now and acceptance just drives them to do more. It's more complex than this video makes it out to be.
As I sit here, as an addict, this resonates on a level most aren’t familiar with. Not to trope the male ego or stigmas, but I feel as if I’m expected to just deal with it. I do believe in hope and overcoming circumstance. Bless you all
It would be cliche for me to say “you got this man” or “you can do it “ I guess everyone is on their own journey brother. I myself started using cocaine at the start of the year because family issues kind of triggered me into dabbling with it .
What is ironic about the US is that it banned drugs, but in entertainment, arts, etc, Americans relentlessly send out the message that drugs are cool, even desirable.
TashiSoCali uuuuh Kurt cobain? Sure, he died, but his death is romanticized big time. Self destructive kids see heroin use as a mode of expression, a cry for attention. Rockstars have been using heroin since the 60's, johnny cash abused opiates, the 90's were basically a heroin-bonanza for mainstream entertainment-Grunge made heroin very cool to a lot of kids.
Francisco Comelli the elite want the people to be drug users, it ruins lives, fuels the prison system (majorly I might sad, 85 percent of prisoners in the US are drug users, nor even dealers at that. Without them the prisons wouldn't hold up. Which is a huge reason the government brings drugs in, distributes them, and then Imprison people for using it, also gives another excuse to tax the people more to keep the prison system up and running which the owners of them become rich off of. Quite sad.) it kills people, etc. The global elite knows that by making drugs illegal, people will tend to do them more. It's human nature to break the rules, to gravitate towards things we're told not to do. Teenagers have more fun drinking when they're younger because the thrill of doing something they're not supposed to adds the excitement to it. When they turn 21 they don't thrive to try and go out and party like when they were 16. Sad to know the people on top planned and execute the fall of their own kind, just for their selfish need for power.
Just because we are addicts does not mean we are not good people ...we are just people that have had life hard ..but we are nice good people 😊..with feelings 😊...we are all amazing and capable of great things 😊..dont ever forget that
I'd sit with you Rachael. Being an addict does NOT define you. Underneath your addiction, you are a brave and good person fighting a battle that nobody would want in their lives. I wish you all the best! I am going back to school to get my masters to be a Substance Abuse Counselor to help people like yourself. Keep fighting! You will come out on the other side!
My brother struggled with alcohol use and first time we sent him to rehab, it was useless. In a few months, he experienced alcoholic psychosis and decided to go sober. It's one year since and he is doing well. All through the journey, my family stood like a rock behind him. Made him feel valued and loved.
I was a heroin and meth smoker, one day I decided that I was being an idiot and quit cold turkey and I decided that I would continue to hang out with the same friends that I was doing sed drugs with. I thought that maybe I could lead by example and I managed to save one friend, she got clean and stayed clean, no rehab. I one point I just couldn't handle watching the other friends killing themselves so I decided to cut ties with them. I am currently 3 years clean and I know I will never relapse.
Alcoholic Hallucinations are fucking terrifying. I’ll never forget my time spent in the ICU for withdrawals. I was close to dying. Your brother and I are brothers in sobriety and I hope nobody ever feels the hopelessness we have felt. But we do recover!
I tear every time I watch this. This speech means a lot to me. I had/have serious addiction problems. Thank you 🙏🏻 for giving me strength. I want a hug 😢
Hands down best Ted talk I've seen so far. I'm a recovering addict. 10yrs now. If it wasn't for the unconditional love my wife showed me I would probably be dead. I wish America would wake up and see the real problems and stop hiding behind these made up ones.
Good work. 5 yrs off heroin for me but only 2 yrs off marijuana. So I guess I'm only 2 yrs completely drug free. But I'm still proud of the 5 yrs of being free of everythi g else bc I not only was an iv heroin addict, i did most everything you could think of. So good work to you and keep going.
Hi.., I am on the other side and I'm not such a great wife as yours.., I am tired of trying to understand the other one and not be considered why and how it's is hard for me. Any advice ? :( I am surprised to see most comments come from addict and nobody who lives with one.
Szirmaie. Please search for the closest Al-Anon meeting to you. If you go to the meetings once a week for a month and it’s not right for you, try a different Al-Anon group (I had to do just this). You will find men and women in situations just like yours. You will find understanding and gain strength. I hope you find what you need and what helps you.
As a 24 yr old addict myself, I have not a single soul to fall back on, to vent to, to connect with, etc. I’ve been traumatized and abused my entire life and never wanted to be an addict. My whole world flipped upside down after leaving a long term abusive relationship and tried meth for the first time. 2 years later, I haven’t stopped despite the desire and conscious knowledge of wanting to recover. I have no one that tells me they love me or are there for me, and I’m lonely with no human interactions in my daily life. I absolutely hate it and want connections with others. I have changed my toxic mindset completely over the past 4 years and nobody sees me for how I am now, only how I was as a child and young teen. I hope I can take the steps to recover for myself. I don’t want to lose my life or travel this path forever. I’m thankful for this video and the people that have commented. ❤you all, addicts or not. You matter & you’re seen.
You are loved and yes you are precious, just sharing this it must have taken you such courage, you must be such an incredible human! Please know I shall be praying for you 🤗shampa mum..India
I'm 37 yr old and believe me the feeling of isolation and disconnect transcends everything. I hope you have found peace within the chaotic void. I have not found it but I have begun the journey. The material I'm beginning with is by Gabor Mate and Johann Hari. They are very wise and compassionate persons. You and the universe are one, embrace it all.
The "rat in a cage" analogy is perfect! If you're bored, or have no friends or support, you're going to drink or do other harmful things - even if you hate doing them. 😢 That's where I am right now- in a "cage" with a lot of beer and cigarettes and no friends or support - and there's alot of anger towards me because I'm an alcoholic, and it really sucks!!!! 😠 Just because I'm an alcoholic doesn't make me a bad person, it just makes me act poorly and have bad judgment at times. My family doesn't understand what I'm going through, and won't listen to me either; they just TELL me what I should do, they don't ever ASK me how I'm feeling, or how I got this way.
Throughout this whole talk I was thinking about Dr Mate and his studies. So glad he brought him up, Mate's transparency along side his work is truly remarkable.
CapMurd Hari is an acclaimed writer who has spoken to a wide variety of valid sources on this topic. It's true, he is not an MD, but he isn't just "some dude" like you or me, lol.
CapMurd Wow, you are one unhappy, pissed-off person. And you're wrong. Laymen in any field can study a subject relentlessly and be, in some cases, more informed than a lot of professionals. You need help to rid yourself of bitterness and ignorance.
I'm truly moved by this mans message. When he looked right at the screen and said, "I love you", I started to tear up. I lost a friend today who had battled drug dependency for thirty years. His mother went the tough love route. He never felt as though they could ever connect when she was saying that their relationship depended on him stopping. He couldn't stop because the connections he had were weak. And yesterday he overdosed and died.
Ann Kleinman I don't agree with that. There absolutely is such a thing as tough love. My brother has had a substance abuse problem for many years and he knows that at any time he can call any of us in our family, he can come sit with us, eat at our homes, etc. We will not give him money, and we will not leave him in our homes unattended as he has stolen from everyone, even my grandma on her death bed. To this day he has no remorse for anything he has done. We love him anyway, but are careful to not enable him in any way. I have cancer and have reached out to him several times and he will pretend to my other family like he cares about me but won't even return a call. Not all situations are the same and many long term addicts continually steal from and burn family members, who love them anyway but won't enable them.
Danielle Culbertson-Kizziar I agree with you, my mother gets drunk because she wants to. I am able to say that because I spent the best part of thirty years trying to "fix" her. She will go through long periods of not drinking so she is not chemically addicted. If I could have loved her addiction out of her I would have done, in fact there is no one who could have tried harder than I did. People need to discover the consequences of addiction themselves , and then take rehabilitation only if they are genuinely interestedly in it and when it is not just another manipulation.
That's so interesting to me. I have had depression on and off for a few years now. I think this also explains depression quite nicely. You see, my room is a mess, my grades are a mess,...my life is a mess. Yet I never wanted to get up because I have no friends, and my family did not try and reach out and help me. I always feel so lonely, and that I am worth nothing. My family, especially my mom, would make fun of me to other people. Talk behind my back intentionally so that I would hear what she says about me. Everything I say, my parents look at each other and make me feel as if I am crazy. My mom would tell my friends about how messy I am, how I am a terrible child. I ended up feeling isolated and unwanted, as she always told me she wished I was not her daughter and that some one else's child is. It was the fact that she said this so calmly and final that it unnerved me. They only yell and scream at me, Shame. Shun. Belittle. I no longer feel like a person. I know that no one will see this comment, but if anyone, ANYONE, sees this, this is my cry for help.
Try artwork, or get some jewelry making supplies. Don't underestimate how powerful this can be for your self esteem and peace of mind. I taught myself how to make jewelry, it was crap at first, now it's high quality craft work, I developed my own techniques. Your mom sounds toxic. Think of her as someone who is just human behaving badly, do something creative, maybe sell your work!
Sweetie, my mom abused me too. It sounds like your mom is an energy vampire who is sucking you dry. Focus on the kind of life you want and make it happen. Elena focus like a laser on your dreams and desires. Pray to Jesus to heal you. I have a much better life now, and my mom can't hurt me anymore. A mom should never say such terrible things to their children. YOU ARE WORTH LOVING AND DESERVE LOVE. I know it's hard but try praying for your mom to be filled with the holy spirit. Clean your room. Eat healthy fresh foods, lean meats, and try to avoid greasy fried foods, and junk food. Try to take 30 min walks 5 days a week some place safe, maybe ask your mom to walk with you? Be healthy, positive and SEE yourself being happy and healthy. You are a sweet girl. You deserve joy! I prayed for you. Blessings for you Elena.
Your family sounds awful, maybe unintentionally sometimes, but not all the time. YOU know your worth!! Find your interests, be it chess, theatre, rowing, music festivals, TV shows, whatever and surround yourself with like minded ppl. FIND YOUR FREAKS!! They will give you the love and connections we all need in life. I can't stress enough...FIND YOUR FELLOW FREAKS AND CONNECT!!🤪😊
I am an addict in recovery. I have relapsed in the past. This time I have over a year and a half clean. I had to change everything. Surrender to a power greater than myself. Surrender to being powerless ... just like I had done in active addiction to the drugs I used. I have to remain reachable and teachable... open minded and willing to grow and change. I have to trust the process daily I just finished a zoom meeting bc we can't meet physically right now. This is a one day at a time thing. Acceptance is key. Staying in the moment is key.
Keep going don’t ever give up I believe in you I just got 10 days which isn’t much but it’s a start we are not who we became but who we choose to become
@@fvallee33 doing great brother blessed everyday alive is great and a blessing much better then I was a couple weeks ago back to work have a relationship with my family thank you for asking how are you today
We also need to change the definition of loneliness. Loneliness does NOT mean you don't have friends and family around you, loneliness means you are disconnected from them. You can feel lonely even if you're surrounded by thousands of people, this is because you're not connecting with any of them. So don't think by just being around someone is enough, you need to CONNECT with them!
I had a good woman in my life, kids, my own business, nice cars went on vacation twice a year. But I stilled turned to be an alcoholic/addict. Had nothing to do with my lack of connection. It had all to do with ME! My childhood, my lack of self esteem, I didn't want to feel "normal". I had to look within. And start there. Alot of reading. Alot of soul searching. It will be 3 years sober next month. I continue to live day by day in appreciation.
I'm a recovering addict over 15 yrs clean and like you I had great parents and great job. To this day I'm still looking for the answer. Why did I? Is there an addiction gene? Was it because on both sides of my family my grandfather and uncles were alcoholics? Now I'm left unanswered questions an lots of guilt that I can't get rid of. I do know that I'll never take H ever again.
Wow... i'm an addict for nearly 20 years (nearly clean the last 3 1/2 years) and the last lines gave goosebumbs, chills down my spine and made me almost cry. It's as true as the earth is round, that if you are an addict, you are so freakin' lonely. But on the other side he gave me some kinda feeling of hope ;-) We need so many people more like him! Thank you, all the way from Germany !
My brother, one of the most charming, generous and funny people I've ever known was also a heroin addict. While I tried to help him in any way I could and accepted him as he was, the rest of the family was ashamed and upset upon finding out his circumstances for the longest time. He developed a tumour in his throat, most likely from the aluminium (chasing the dragon for ±15 yrs) and died from it in 2010 aged 45. What I am most grateful for is that in those last 10 months of his life, after his diagnosis, family member and friends of family, neighbours all got to see what a great guy he really was and accepted him as he was. He felt loved and acceptance before he died and I miss him every day. 💜
BOW-- your brief story of your brother moved me to tears...to know that there is such a strong yet delicate, nuanced, steely love available in the human heart.....
I have been trying to have the discovery of the nature of addiction known for years to end the war on drugs. I would like to help you as a recovering addict and psychologist. Addiction is the psychology of a liar, only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example. Addicts don’t forgive. I am alone socially ostracised by liars paying the price for being honest. I can prove my claim that the obvious truth is addiction is the psychology of a liar dropping mortality rates when my theory is known. It is harder to convince a fool that to know the truth is better than to be deceived than to deceive him.
This is possibly the best Ted talk I've ever heard. Addiction isn't inherently bad. Just a bit misguided in finding connection and happiness. Like a child struggling in a particular subject in school, we should help them understand and guide them! Not send them to detention and berate them for being a bad student! At the end of the day, it's their understanding of that subject that will ultimately allow them to feel successful and grow alongside their peers. To anyone else struggling with addiction, loneliness, etc., you're NOT alone!
The problem is when people don't want help and guidance (which is usually the case with addicts) they just want more of the drug. They insist they don't need help and nothing is wrong. How do you help someone like that?
@@lukemartin9977 ..i have also the same question..what if being with seems to be a burden for them(because they know we will be disappointed if they failed to quit)..do i have to stay to show support ?
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Wow. Right as I was about to leave my high-functioning alcoholic best friend and boyfriend because he thinks he can get sober by himself, I watched this video. I was addicted to pills for 10 years and my ex-husband continuously beat me down emotionally and mentally (even after I got sober) until I thought I was worth exactly what he implied I was - nothing. I'm still working things out with with my alcoholic boyfriend, but instead of leaving, I set healthy boundaries for myself, accept him for who he is, and for the first time since he was 15, he WANTS to quit drinking; for himself, for his son, for my girls and me. Please pray he does before it's too late. He's truly a good, honest, deeply-feeling, but hurting and sick man who's just never learned healthy coping skills or had good, trustworthy people in his life. Thank you!
@@christopherallen487 Because you seem to know me so well or think I'm judging someone, you don't and I'm not. Did you not read what I wrote? Don't you think I haven't thought about the harm I caused my ex-husband (who is now fully supportive of me, has been for the 14 years I've been sober, and we've co-parented our kids beautifully together) and that I'd get anything I deserved? I buried my past after asking forgiveness and changing my lifestyle completely. My best friend and boyfriend who's struggling with alcoholism treats me wonderfully or I wouldn't be with him. He's more than what I was to my ex-husband and we've known each other since we were 14, so don't think he doesn't know about my past. We talk about everything together. So go be mean somewhere else, Mr Judgy McJudgerson! Thanks!
@@gmcb1711 Thank you. He's 5 days sober!! Starting to feel pretty crappy and a little moody, but he's hanging in there, not taking it out in me or anyone else bc he knows this is a choice he's been making (to not stop or get help) for 30 years. He's a good man. He could use prayers (we both could Haha), if anyone is the praying sort. I just keep encouraging him. Right now, he's just loving that he doesn't have a hangover every morning before work and not spending so much money on beer! I'm a little guarded, of course, but still giving him all the love and support I can. That's all I can do. This is all him and God. ❤🙏🏼
@@urban_fox4658 your comment says it was posted 3 days ago. i hope that means he’s now on his 8th day of sobriety. nothing is more real or important than family and relationship! always remember that :)
mitchell duiker Its not quite seprate but its different sub cultures. Every one has different things they like and thats why some cultures are more exposed then the others.
Go to an animal shelter and walk a dog or two every day. Go on long walks in nature with dogs and give them lots of water to drink and food to eat. They need your love and you need their love and you all need each other's connection.
mitchell duiker i think addiction doesn’t have to be necessarily drugs. it can be anything. you can be addicted to gambling or addicted to biting your nails. addiction is an action that causes self destruction and negatively changes your moods with other people you interact with. addiction to social media is a growing topic. we are the first generation in history to be addicted to social media. or even the first century. because it wasn’t really heavily used until the 2000s. it’s a new topic that should be taken seriously like you pointed out.
Paola F you’re absolutely right. Addiction is for lack of a better description a form of OCD that manifests itself focusing on something or similar things in particular. And yes self-destruction is inevitable, even if it’s an addiction to something by all accounts healthy for you, like working out. The degrees vary, of course, but it becomes something you cannot and are not in control of. It becomes a compulsion. Goes back to the old saying “Nothing is bad in moderation”. Which is bullshit by the way.....and whatever truth is a slippery slope. Just stay grounded and pray often. The Lord will light the way. ♥️
I was just having a conversation about this with a friend. Addicting substances and habits cause the dopamine rush we also get when we bond with loved ones or do good things for others. Let's hope this pandemic teaches us about the value of community and having a real circle of friends.
I like that. I amalways seen as half loopy because I see the silver lining in everything. The fact that Covid has made self care so much more open and officially sanctioned even. That being human is enough.
@@minnesota7010 Yes and no, it's not illegal if you're caught with a small quantity just for consume but it's illegal to sell it and you can get prison for years if you're a big dealer as in other places. So it's an illegal activity as a whole.
I've watched Intervention and while it seems inspiring at first glance, they say at the end of the show that most "victims" who had interventions done to them actually relapsed. Maybe, based on your talk Johann, that's because the mindset of shaming addicts never changed? My ex partner is an addict as well, Oxy for 1 year. The biggest thing I noticed when he was talking to me about addiction was the severe sense of disappointment that he felt everyone around him had towards him. Those feelings could be crippling he said, and can drive you to depression and further addiction. We're unfortunately not together anymore in part because of his lack of emotional coping skills due to drugs, but I still love him as a human and as a friend and don't want him to be socially alone. Maybe love without expectation is the answer.
+Cliodhna Carthy Well, unless you're using other people the way you used drugs. Being addicted to "connection" and validation through other people is pitiful.
Bike Rider It's often not worth the effort. Most of the problem is our feeling that we 'should' want to do this or that, we 'should' want to connect with others, we're "supposed" to find it a great fulfilling experience. Who says? Solitude gets a bad rap, especially from 12-Steppers who label it "isolation."
"Re Parenting" & Self Development, searchable & free resources all her on UA-cam, is what gave me tools to change my brain; now life gets better every day!!! Go ahead, try it :) the highs are the best in the world.
I get what you are saying . I am an introvert and need time alone to recharge. My healthy balance of time with people and time alone is different than that of an extrovert. And Beyond that, I would think that balance is different among each introvert; it's a very personal thing.
Drugs liquor food huffing what ever it is,escape & a host of other wonderful things associated with chronic addiction are just symptoms of a deeper underlying problem..just like any other ailment..treat the the origin or the symptoms.
I drank and used on a daily basis for over 20 years. It was like breathing to me. I drank and used because I hated the way sober felt. I can't even begin to describe to a non-addict how completely disgusting sober felt. There's nothing worse than being sober when you're active in your 'addiction'. And even though I've been clean just shy of eight years now, I still feel disconnected from humanity. I don't even relate to other alcoholics/addicts, active or clean. Not sure that will ever change.
Thank you. This one hit home big time. I'm married to an alcoholic. He already has enough shame. After listening to this, my approach will definately change. God bless you all💙
I want you to know I cried all throughout the video. My story I thought was one of addiction by prescription but after listening to you I realized I embraced the substance to shield my pain. A lot of pain. There were never material needs in my life but my heart and soul were empty. I am still crying because this came into my life as a problem after I lost all hope: at 59; 68 now, and the only reason I have never committed suicide because the thought has entered my mind and the reason that I have or will not is because I know there is one God. Thanks you for your love and compassion and for making me understand what the real reason for addiction or dependency is!
Treating addicts like human beings works? Who knew. I promised I wouldn't be one of those people, but this is my first highly liked comment and it feels good!
A part of the problem is that they end up getting treated like commodities by employers. I also looked into this guy's wiki page. Not the most honest person out there. I distrust TED talkers anyhow, and this just added to my view of them. At its core, addiction recovery is a service/business.
@@TJ-vj2hc a recent book i read was how a recovered one saw it as a ocd compulsion problem. You treat the ocd and it goes away. Treats your brain how to stop obsessive thoughts ans behaviors and makes you have the ability to think before acting. Since the frontal lobe that tells someone to stop is underactive. I dont think one thing is the answer like this guy says
@@TJ-vj2hc - spot on! Some 3 letter political associations have been smuggling drugs in n abusing citizens since their inception, then there's big pharma... n then the business of "healing" - all issues combined n intertwined with politics...
I'm Portuguese! Some people say that Portugal is not what this man claims to be! But Portugal is more than that! This country is beautiful! Portugal is the 5th safest country in the world and has the most liberal drug laws in the world! Love from Portugal
And love to you & your beautiful people as well. Many Thanks to your country for turning what was broken into a brave, new approach & being a shining beacon for the rest of the world! Blessings!
I've went to Portugal as a kid. It's an amazing country with amazing people. Your forwad thinking is amazing. Junkies are not created or man made, we are addicts before we pick up a drug. It is having things in our lives before we start that needs to happen and the resources there if they'e not.
Being shun by the people you trusted to be there is devastating. People with addiction already feel alone in their problem. Publicly shaming someone will only make them detach further and longer into addiction. Compassion and understanding goes way further than treatment programs. Don't judge if you have no experience in it.
Sorry, no, but if generic-you steals from me, abuses me, and then blames it on the addiction, I'm 100% justified in shunning you, because you are a danger to my safety and sanity, and because you've proven you cannot be trusted. If you don't like that, well, don't steal from or abuse people and you won't have reason to be shunned.
@@wmdkitty I'm an addict. Sober now. Your right. An addict has to take responsibility for their actions. I can't play the victim and blame my behavior on my addiction. Lack of empathy towards other people is what makes this social-psycho disease so repugnant.the flip side of the coin is that often others lack of empathy (parents,spouse, etc) is a factor in addiction in the first place..
For me this story is 100% spot on. Because of my avoidance of living in my reality, my life, and not having reason and bonding with others. Nothing to get up for. I was an addict for 8 years. But when I changed that and rebuilt my connections with great people and family. I was able to step away from addiction without rehab.
Being threatened by family members and abused was the worst. One woman, a friend of the family, after hearing my family bash me because of my addiction and shun me, said this to them, “WHY ARENT YOU LOVING HER”? IT meant the world to me.
Cuz how do they know you won't use that love and their feelings of care for you against them just to enable your addiction trying to get what you want? There's something to factor in
Yeah I'm supposedly stupid when I'm merely stating the other side of the coin and 100% fact what is extremely common for addicts to like to do with the people who try to love and support them, exploit this and people's feelings of obligation love concern and guilt them otherwise.. I've dealt with many addicts in my life I know exactly what I'm talking about. Starting with my downtown Eastside Vancouver heroin junkie birth parents. And it's you're, not your... yeah and I'm the stupid one LOL Not.
I don't have to be an addict to know what kind of horrible things they do to people , cuz there's countless others experiences like mine being victimized exploited and taken advantage of manipulated and abused and also raped stolen off of etc by addicts.. because they're selfishness knows no bounds. Love an addict and they'll use those feelings against you to manipulate you to suck everything out of you. They don't care if they make you homeless like they did with me. They're capable of doing all the above. oh so you want to justify their lying thieving manipulating ways, they don't even care if they'll take your life savings from you, they don't care if they'll take your life from you, feed you drugs OD you .. addicts have zero conscience it doesn't stop them. have no conscience even if they do , theyre so out of control and dysfunctional it'll be the same end result . ..so really doesn't matter what the intentions are if the end results are always the same? Never trust them, or else they'll ruin your life just the way theirs is... misery loves company
"I love you whether you're using or your not, I love you whatever state you're in, and if you need me I'll come sit with you. Because I love you and I don't want you too be alone or too feel alone"
Beautiful words. Core-truth words. That's how intervention could work. Shouldn't be called "intervention", rather " Loving people better". Works on multiple levels.
I nearly cried when he said that. I have NEVER been told that. My current relationship is conditional entirely upon my addiction -- if I relapse, it's gone. He was in the room while I watched this. Oh, how nice it would be if people showed compassion and empathy to the people they love... But I suppose empathy requires complete selflessness, and we as humans are selfish creatures.
As a recovered addict of six years, and a student of psychology well into earning my bachelors, you are not wrong. This is exactly what happened and what worked for me, and it is research like this that made me choose my future career. Thank you so much! Please keep sharing this message ❤️
This brought me to tears. It’s like the first time I’ve heard someone speak that gets me. Wish more people would take the time to try and understand addiction. It’s an act of desperation. So many ppl look at someone with substance abuse issues and assume m it’s something that lives inside you that will always make you more prone to addiction, regardless of other life factors.
I’ve been a weed addict for like 9 years and this is partly true. I did have a very caring mom who I had a great relationship with, had a grandma who I really love(d) and went to for dinner every week. Also had a good friend who I knew since childhood. Which means I had 3 strong connections. But on the other hand I suffered from depression and was in pain about other aspects/connections in my life. The most important thing is regulating your emotions. It’s even more important than connection. When you have a way of regulating anger, sadness, etc, then addiction is not worth continueing.
Jorel Byssainthe yeah, that would have made it much worse. I would have had less ways of letting out my emotions and feel valued because of the lack of connections
No it doesn’t answer it all! I see patients everyday with family and friends actively supporting them! There are a million factors at play. Google this guy! Do some research!
I was 12 when my parents told me if they ever found out I was on drugs they would cut me from the family. And at 35 and still in and out of active addiction, i still struggle with the shame and guilt of using. Being an addict is hard. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I still have hope that one day I will get and stay clean. This dude is a Don.
I cant quite imagine what its like to be addicted to a drug... I think we are all able to overcome our addictions. I hope you can overcome this. I believe in you.
They shun what they do not know. They demonize the act to make it easier to treat people who have addictions like they are less. It's a selfish way to save themselves. It shows who is truly compassionate and who isn't. Love yourself. You are human. We all make mistakes. Speaking as someone who also struggles to become sober for more than 3 months at a time.
Sounds weird but anti-depressor can makes miracle when its time to stop doing drugs. Of course it doesnt do all the work, but in my case it helped a lot.
i understand what you mean completely but as someone who finally got a few days in a row, not only is it so worth it, there are so many people in sobriety that are literally just waiting to love you and care about you and wont shame you for anything. you are a good person and you deserve real happiness
***** Have you watched any Stefan Molyneux videos? If not, you might enjoy them. He covers a lot of this sort of stuff. He also interviewed Gabor Maté, who was mentioned by Johann Hari in this talk.
***** Are you counting TEDx talks too? The real TED talks are still good aren't they? TEDx on the other hand has always been vegans, feminists, and life coaches.
Dan Phillips Yes, I am afraid I count TED talks exclusively. I started watching TED talks back in 2006 or something. It used to be interesting people doing interesting and important stuff speaking. Now, I can feel that it's the Facebook and Google generation doing things to get on something like the TED talks. Even the people speaking about charity and humanity aid seem to be overly self-promoting and not genuine enough. Maybe it's just me, I am left behind by the train of progress.
I wish I knew this guy!!! He could really save my life. I’ve been sober 3 years but I’m constantly stuck in my head and don’t feel comfortable around people
Truthfully! Love you steph! Don’t know if you’re a drug addicted but I am a heroin addict and the message he conveys is very strong and truthful. When he said that exact thing you comments I got goosebumps, for it is true. There should be love songs not war songs
@@stephaniev6755 i think sometimes having the 6th sense in THIS society can add to an addiction. People don't believe in abilities, means they don't believe in you.
Telling addicts you love them no matter what is so important. My best friend since childhood left me in my lowest times (I understand why she did - i was a nightmare) but it really sent me spiraling into a darker place. Being friends with an addict is tough - I am so grateful for the friends who stood by me. I live in Vancouver and they just decriminalized small quantities of drugs but that doesn't do anything in the long run - there needs to be a safe supply too. I hope we can adopt Portugal's system as well. This video was posted in a recovery discord I'm in and it's great. Very well done.
@@swolfe9668 You haven't watched the video. The data is clear. We have been doing that ....and it doesn't work! Overdose and addiction is the highest it's EVER been in the US.
First time I have ever heard something like this before. End of the video I had tears running down my face. Feeling alone is something I have been fighting/dealing with my whole life. My severe drug/alcohol addiction started when I was very young and I am now almost 100% sober after 20 years. The feeling you get wanting to indulge in those habits you need to stay away from will probably never go away, and the ‘alone’ factor has never and probably will never leave me either. This hit home for me and this kind of outlook is enlightening to say the least. Thank you for sharing.
The opposite of addiction is connection.
Profound.
Agreed.
***** In 1934 a wall st.-er and a doctor came to understand that connection and went on to create the first 12 step program. Those 12 steps are used to help heal the addict and then help heal the addict's connections
with the outside world, work, family, friends etc etc. They were wise beyond their times.
writerconsidered and indoctrinate them into religion.... i would like to see a secular approach to addiction if it is going to be payed for with tax payer money in the united states. separation of church and state and all.
Eli Nope Agreed. Secular & science-based approach is the only way that this is going to work. It must not pull people into religion.
Eli Nope
What you don't know could fill a big book.
First off this isn't about money 12 step groups are self supporting and do not accept money from outside sources including the government . Second Religion? I think not. 12 step groups do not require you believe anything. There is no defined god and no defined belief. Everything
is self defined thereby cutting out dogma as we know it.
Third the governments role is simply decriminalize drugs which cost nothing and
pay for treatment as public health service that does cost money but far less then prison, Also that is completely separate from 12 step programs.
As a recovering addict, I think you are spot on...when I overdosed and woke up in ICU the doctor asked me why I did what I did and I said “to escape reality”....now I’m sober 6 years, and after completely changing my environment, I’m now close to finishing medical school!
Really happy for you!! ❤ And I agree 100%
Just because a person may have a loving family, or ppl who love them, doesn't mean they aren't deeply lonely or intensely unhappy ,or suffering psychologically in some way. And that's the whole point that ppl are missing. I know this from personal experience! I can't tell you how much his talk resonated with me!!
I was forced to use pain medication but it wasn't until shtf several years into it that I started struggling with addiction. I am surprised how many people who haven't experienced addiction themselves have it all figured out 😞
How did you change your environment? I mean, did you change the city where you live? Or your girlfriend? Or what ?
Tyson Holyfield Congratulations! 🍾🎊
I’m extremely proud of u!🤗
Nice!!!!
Congrats keep it up
Virtual hugs to all the addicts out there. You're not alone.
thanks, I'm on day 4! ..... probably only because I'm broke, though lol
No, hopefully because you're ready to change.
+J Snow DOC? if you don't mind me asking... I've been on a 1 year 3 month run I had 6 months clean before this then I ran from rehab... Fucked it up.
+J Snow Wish you good luck.
I'll pray for you man. Keep me in mind when you pray too...
I watched this July 16, 2019 July 17, 2019 was my first day of sobriety and I’m about to hit five years. This TEDTalk quite literally saved my life.
Awesome! Congrats to you❤
Awesome!
How do you feel almost 5 years later?
We are so proud of you
Really hope ur doing good its easy to quit i taught but keeping clean is tough sometimes it gets easier
Congratulations!!!
Thank you Johan for making this.. I was on the street of L.A. for 5 years slamming fentanyl, and because my brother saw this video and showed it to my family, they started visiting me. Fast forward a bit, after having 2 surgeries from an infection on my spine, I got an infection on my heart and had a stroke and basically woke up in the hospital.. I now have 200+ days clean, which is the longest I've been clean for since I was 13.. all this to say that without this video and your studies on the subject, they wouldn't have visited me on the street. Thank you.. -- Chris Moran
Thank you EVERYONE. Just to update you all, I have over a year clean now and am a Data Analyst for work! -- Chris Moran
Yes.., God indeed does work in mysterious and miraculous ways .
Keep going 💪💪
Thank you for sharing 💕I love you
Hope you are hanging in there and doing okay.
holy faaackk I'm so happy to have read this! good on you man and I'm so happy your brother took this video and shared it. this makes me feel so good. i hope for nothing but peace in your mind and love in your soul for all the days my friend!! stay well :)
"if you can't bond because you're traumatised, isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief"
Right on!!! 👍👍👍
Or distraction.
"If you can't bond because you're traumatized, isolated or beaten down by life, you will bond with something that will give you some sense of relief"
This is unbelievable
This guy is so right in the money, it's scary! I feel like he knew implicitly what I have been going through with not just this video but also the TED Talk about depression. He mentioned he wrote a book I will definitely look him up!
I believe that loneliness is what fueled my addiction.
Amy Spears i agree thats why im trying to grow and band together as many of us as possible subscribe lets be frienda
I'm an addict and also feel alone, since your channel has no subscribers I'll be the first, now in UA-cam terms atleast...your not alone!
Amy I isolated as well with my drinking and use. Keep getting out into the world You got this. 👍 Edit day 23 for me.
Like experiencing a shipwreck in a storm struggling to swim ashore.
Me too.
“The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.” Hit the nail right on the head, thank you ❤️
The first time I went to AA meeting. I was showed compassion for the first time in my life. I was gonna sprint out of there, but I stayed. When I heard that line. That memory stuck with me. I wanted to change after it and treat people better.
Is what we do right with the hand thing
Spot on
👍 but its always CONDITIONAL bonding on OTHERS TERMS! i choose solitude n self help/love over other ppl n their abusive terms of returns if u want them in YOUR life! Uck that! Love ME as i am or eff off! N look at URSELVES FIRST!
And it takes two to sustain connection
So spot on. My addiction progressed the more alone I became.
Yep. And then the addiction makes you more isolated. It's a vicious cycle. Hope you're well
Mine was when I couldn't make life work for me.
Same
Yeah, me too, and frankly, even though I've lived in NYC most of my life, I think I will have to move to France (where my family is from) because everyone here is so convinced they know better.
@@DONFOREVER Nice man
Everyone of us that searched and clicked this video has become aware of themselves and wants to change. Good luck everyone, much love
I think the inevitable aspect is that we will have vices and virtues. Its how we understand our vices that define us.
Thank you, love to you as well
@@philipkelly9753 this is right., It's not an easy hike this life. Along the way you learn to pick up the the gear best suited for such a hike.
I watched this to help understand my alcoholic husband. Only to realize, that I fill the same void of connection with food rather than alcohol.
@@Melissa-dd7ys my dear, i have that food thing too. I've seen the most encouraging comments here by good hearted people in this same struggle it gives me hope.
Crazy as it sounds it’s true 10 years ago I was a user , my mom found out after the back nd forth of arguing one day she told me “ I’ll. Be here for you regardless I love you either way” I got sober the next week . Been sober 10 years
Wow. I am trying to learn and so have been pasting the following question on several of these posts. Would you be so kind as to consider answering for me... Regarding "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. the opposite of addiction is connection." May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...Or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)...
What a lovely example of what the presenter was saying. Congratulations!!!
WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU!!! 10 years is huge.
That is awesome for you but I tell my son the same yet he continues to struggle with drugs. He can be sober a year or two then relapse again... Congratulations to you on your sobriety
That's awesome.
I just got out of detox after relapsing after 17 years of sobriety and we watched this video in there. So spot on. Addiction is lonely. We need connection.
All the best. You can do this. Get up, brush yourself off and keep going/learning.
God bless you Kelly❤
40 days sober today and I can tell you I'm grateful to be on the other side of this addiction.
Amazing job. I hope your still continuing your journey to sobriety. Please go checkout some of the videos on my page about my personal journey. We are all in this together. You have my support if you ever need it.
ua-cam.com/channels/5J8_aWgcKD9cOB3VAndefA.html
I've been posting the following question on several of these comments: Regarding "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. the opposite of addiction is connection." May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...Or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)...
Way to go Aymee
You stay committed and be a trail blazer. You got this. ❤
You got it ❤😄🖒
Being an addict in recovery, I quit trying to explain what addiction is to non-addicts a while ago. Im thankful for this video, its spot on.
I am a recovering addict in the US and this video is absolutely 💯 correct. Never heard anyone explain it so well. Trying to explain it to nonaddicts is exhausting and most often these people do everything they can to make sure you know that you are a horrible person and that they are way better than you will ever be. These people that say they are trying to help actually make addicts need to use even more. Love is the best medicine for just about everything!
@@allisonrobertson7706 no love for me lol
I tottally get what you are saying here as i can remember my dad saying to me i dont know why you would start to used hard drugs as everyone knows its the road to ruin i cant understand it or you and i never will..its simply just to complex for non users to even comprehend..sad really because we could never connect while i was in the throws of my addiction but now im clean i dont hold it agaisnt him for not wanting to understand..
The one thing i always hated from non addicted was the saying well why dont you just not do drugs..yeah that one always killed me and id usually just stop talking to them and walk away..
@@iamthatguyfromslipknot1137
It is hard to explain to a non addict but it is hard to explain to an alcoholic aswell(&people with other addictions),especially when it comes to heroin & crack. People who do coke(not everyone who does it)thinks crack is worse,some think its dirty & they (some) look down there nose at you..I mean i have spoke to alcoholics who think there addiction is not as bad as yours..Also people who don't understand addiction either haven't been affected by it,so they don't learn about it. And they judge on what they have heard. They can be ignorant (not on purpose)..I mean i understand why some people think like they do. Also it can be the way they have been bought up. Sometimes i find it hard to explain why i started,I mean my aunt just used to say in my day we didn't have drugs we just had to get on with it. I totally understand why she said that. It is hard to explain to people especially hard headed people🤣😂🤣😂..
Anyway i am waffling on now..I hope you are keeping well,please takecare..Sending big hugs,xx
Oh and I hope this year brings you happiness,love,joy&peace.
By the way my name is lisa,I am using my fellas account as i have forgot my password,it's been a really heartbreaking mind bending year,let's hope this one is better for everyone🤘🤩🤩🤟
The ending made me cry. This is beautiful, a very accurate way to explain the way addiction feels.
“The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety, the opposite of addiction is connection.”
Are u addict?
Sara Wright, Not really. You're just trading an in vitro chemical for a solely endogenous one.
thanks
And connection is Love :)
And if you do certain sobriety programs correctly, the resulting sobriety is about love and connection. Got example, it is always suggested to greet the returning relapser with open as rather than shame.
"Using because you can't bear to be present in your own life." Thank you so much for this video. I really needed to hear this and I'm sitting here crying as I feel my perspective shift about the addicts in my life. Thank you
yess): i feel this. i wish i could disappear . going to see my first doctor tomorrow lol baby steps.
@@ashleycontreras8821A month late, but good luck on your journey
This guy is on to something, this made me cry because I am an addict and many times in my addiction all I wanted was a connection with someone and to feel loved.
I tried hard to give this to someone and he eventually abandoned me.
@Sarah Hodgins he wouldn't be there in the 1st place for you to abandon you, a person would need more than speaking monologues believing they're dialogues
100% right how I am with alcohol
You took the words right out of my mind. Sending you lots of love and good vibes! 💜
One size doesn’t fit all here. Sending addicts to prison instead of finding the root cause will make it worse. We need to get them help and then get them the connectivity / connection they need. We need to throw drug dealers in prison though.
As a meth addict this hit me hard at the end. I'm alone and need people like you in my life but nope everyone looks and judges me instantly.. sad truth. Great talk thank you.
Hey there! Stay strong. A Virtual hug to you !
I am a methadon addict for 45 years and was a heroine/cocaine . I am also alone , 58 years old and no family or friends . so i say to you , i love you , and understand U real good. I use 1 day in the week some cocaine (base) so i got something .
Hyperstunner take care of yourself be your own friend first then open your self for other to help you ❤️❤️🤗🙏
i really hope you the best, stay strong my brother, you are stronger than you think!
Please, rewatch this, because you missed the message. The message is very simple really. His last 2 minutes are not a vindication for addiction.
I was a heroin addict for half of my life before I fixed up, I am now 9yrs clean but still live in a "empty cage" I don't have many people wrapped around me as I managed to find the connection with myself, when you can say "I love you" to yourself (not in a vain way) you will never be alone.
I am finding out the mechanics and science behind life and I am now on the greatest adventure ever! I send love and health to every addict and every other person in this world, one love x
Thx😍😘🤗
@@River-cm9tz Thank you for your lovely comments. I personally do not use "journey" as an analogy for life, I prefer to use "music" as the analogy, the universe isn't going anywhere, also if you use "journey" as an analogy that means that for most of your life, you will be working towards "the end" whatever that may be, retirement, heaven, success ect. But with music people don't go to concerts or festivals to see the band play the final cord lol it's the same with dancing, there isn't a certain spot in the room where the dance is ment to finish, dancing is all about the dance, so unfortunately people have been cheating themselves all the way through because when people reach the age of 60-65 they will say "I am here, I have arrived" and they will feel pretty much the same as they always have, so I can't stress this enough, life is not about working hard towards the end result as we are not ment to be heading towards anything as such, just stay true to yourselves, keep a pure heart and enjoy the singing and dancing of life :-) x
Terrorfirma King that’s a beautiful explanation, although I believe journey as quite the opposite as in it never ends its always fun that’s why I love traveling, I thoroughly appreciate the wisdom you have shown
@@River-cm9tz that's a fair point of view, and it's good that you haven't put an "end" on your journey, I work in the transport industry and travel over 3,000km per week, maybe this is the cause for me to search for another analogy than "journey" hahaha. I wish you more fun, enjoyment and happiness on you journey :-)
@@terrorfirmaking1341 You like Alan Watts I can see, respect!
I'm an addict. And this was powerful beyond words.
As soon as he said the words at the end of the video: "I love you, whether you are using or you're not. I love you whatever state you're in. And if you need me, I'll come and sit with you- because I love you and I don't want you to be alone or to feel alone."
As soon as he said that, I instantly cried. Because tbh that's all I've wanted from people, especially those that I love- and I've gotten only the complete opposite of that all these years. To the point where I don't trust anyone and I have less than a handful of people I do trust and am willing to be around.
I'm tired of feeling alone and I'm tired of being alone. Especially when I really could use a friend when I'm going through something that's difficult and I quite literally have no one I can feel safe to turn to for any comfort or even a listening ear.
This really hits hard and right in the feels. I wish people would judge addicts less and be more willing to be open-minded and even comfort us somehow because we're not horrible people.
We just need connection.
We need people to support us and possibly even maybe believe in us if only just a little bit.
I believe in you! You are loved by me! I’m always here if you need someone to talk to!
I believe in you!
.....and I love you. I hope you are freed from any self imprisonment. Forgive yourself. It's very important.
I love you, you are precious 🤗
I believe in you! And I love you
I'm an addict
59 years old
15 years abstinent since May 10th 2004
Thanks for the 12 steps
march 2009 for me...
@Rene Cross - you are not an Addict. The power of words can keep you trapped. By definition you are not an "active addict" - this is one thing I never agreed with the 12 steps. The reminder that you are powerless, or will be an addict for the rest of your life can have negative affects on people.
@@corneliomaldonado7888 was the most freeing thing that I've ever said.........
@@VixCrush awesome........🙏🏻❤🏳
@@corneliomaldonado7888 negative affect?
People will use any excuse, even blame the 12 steps.......lol
My life before recovery was an absolute nightmare.......
Today is different......
MUCH
"The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection."
This gave me all the feels 😭♥️
Yogi Aim, me too. 😭❤️🙏🏼
I was holding back until then. I've struggled through addiction for years now and watching this was a breath of fresh air. 'They have connections in their life that they want to be present for.'
Ikr the memories you have to escape that just to free yourself
Got me scratching my head
It was those very 2 lines that hit me the hardest. I have a long history with addiction and I had never heard anybody, ever, talk about it or describe it in such a way. What struck me, besides the overwhelming compassion in his words, is how he was able to so accurately describe something he had not personally experienced. And to do so in a way that not only explained addiction itself, but also encompassed it's root cause in a way that anyone hearing it would be able to imagine how someone in that situation must hurt inside; and perhaps imagine the sheer emotional desperation that drives the initial search for connection. Connection of any kind. I actually just sent the link to this to a couple family members who have been more forgiving then I've really deserved, but who I know struggle to truly understand.
He's not joking groups like AA are full of sober addicts
Can't even explain how much this video has taught me. Thank you Johann Hari. Just today I finally got to see my brother after 8 years and he's been addicted to some drugs that made him struggle an awful lot in his life. Not sure if it is destiny but i spoke to my family about the exact point made in this video, before I watched it, and decided to take action again, but this time around, I decided to help him with more love, attention, affection and empathy. Fingers crossed this concept will help me to help him and change his life. Again, thank you.
good luck! 😊
+Tiago Barbs Hope it goes well, help him but make sure he know he is loved no matter what
KSangel180 Thank you!
bob yenan Thank you so much!!!
+Tiago Barbs So how is he doing?
Wow, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I’m a current addict, and the clarity this have given me is profound. I can and will beat my addiction
Hay Ryan, just read your message, I hope this message finds you well, I just thought I would reply just to say I hope you are hanging in there, I have made a comment on what's going on for me, I'm struggling a bit but I haven't given up and I haven't given in today, I'm hanging in there, anyway I hope this message finds you well all the best, yen,
I an an addict. What saved me from illegal substances was learning instruments. The teacher believed in me for the first time. I wasn't getting bullied, and getting poor grades. I play the drums, guitar, bass guitar, piano, and vocals. The live gigs went away during covid, and I was considering buying on the black market. I had the connection theory since then.
I can't sing or play a musical instrument to save my life, but I enjoy writing and that's what I have been doing, I write songs poetry all sorts really but I can't spell my hand writing is terrible as well, anyway have a great day,
I have 60 days clean today you got this
Thank you for the replies! They have all put a smile on my face
This is spot on. The worse I felt when I was using the more I used. The lonelier I felt or sad I used more. The more society or family came down on me the more I used. Once I finally found someone who loved me regardless of my addiction and was able to put meaning back in my life then I got sober.
Suggest adopting a cat or dog, as people can't be trusted. "Trust no one, Scully.
Thanks for sharing that. I think along with connection being the opposite of addiction I would also add self-love. We deal with self hatred and self worth issues on an everyday basis. When someone who truly loves us and supports us regardless of our addiction that's when our self esteem grows
It’s a question of dopamine. Surround yourself with things that awakens dopamine in your brain. Most of all also, develop a relationship with Jesus Christ! He will never leave you or forsake you. It’s the truest form of love us humans crave & nothing but He and His love can quench 💖
@@evearcana2392 And that is SPOT ON AND ONLY HE CAN RENEW AND GIVE YOU A NEW HEART ♥️!!!! Thanks for this comment! Because this is why many fall back to it because with out Him. It is impossible and it’s deeper then an addiction and it’s craving a connection that only comes through Him. Everything is temporary and leaves. This is what I learned in the field and help those with all types of addictions and God revealed this to me 20 years ago why many are affected by past and environment and personal.
@@windsofmarchjourneyperrytr2823 My sir name is `Scully`,but I,ve just entered this comment section a few minutes ago, your comment is 10 mths old? What `Scully` are you referring to? I do not see any `Scully`s here except myself.
I’m glad to see Chandler’s doing well for himself
@@LokiandtheTwins r/whoosh
@@LokiandtheTwins I bet you're fun 🙄🤦🏽♀️
What was Chandler's job tho??
Bing!
😂😂😂
The most beautiful interpretation of addiction ive ever heard. Tears are in my eyes,
I’m 57 days clean and sober and i can confirm love is what we need 🤍 sending love to all the addicts still suffering
How is it man?
we are all proud of you man, be strong buddy
How are you doing my friend
Right? If I liked my life, I wouldn't be an alcoholic.
@Melissa Fraser Seriously? You see a person suffering and your first instinct is to preach your infinitely loving God that has been letting them suffer? You're a monster.
This made me rethink the distance I've put between me and a family member who is an addict. I don't know if I can trust them again but the least I could do is love and support them.
a big applaud to the ones fighting the battle with themselves and overcoming their addictions.
Well said Gurninderjeet Singh, well said my friend. :)
Gurninderjeet Singh Thank you. 17 months free of heroin. 9 months free of the meth I switched my addiction to. Nine months no mind altering drugs!!
Nick Torres did meth help w the heroin withdrawal?
Lynn Lynn it did, immensely. However, bear in mind, I was a functional junkie for YEARS. Meth took me down in under a year. It's not worth it.
I'm happily taking all the opiates I can (heroin/morphine/methadone etc.) and have been for the last 25 years and will be for the rest of my life.
I've been addicted to opioids and benzos for 8 years. I started when i was 14. Im now sober for more than a year. You can do this everyone, it's not easy buy YOU CAN be sober and HAPPY.
Cheers brother
I was addicted to pain pills and then herion from 2002-2008. On 7/4/2008 I did my last line, and then immediately OD'd and hit the floor. They lost me at the hospital, and I was lucky to be brought back on the 3rd attempt. After 2 inpatient rehab stays, countless outpatient programs and 12 step meetings this was the moment that finally made me stop. That said, it was and still to this day is a daily struggle. One thing that's helped me is realizing I'm an addict, and always will be. I know the devil in my details, and that actually has helped me to keep a grip on this issue. The other thing that took me the longest to get over was the overwhelming amount of guilt I carried for all the things I did in the depths of my addiction. I wanted to say sorry till I ran out of breath to let those people I hurt know that I truly was. Thing is, apologies are great, but they're just a phrase at the end of day. What worked for me was realizing that fact, and then realizing that the best thing I could do to make up for those wrongs was to be a better, kinder, and more understanding person to everyone and to try to stop beating myself to death over the guilt. Those people who you want to make things right with may, or may not see that you've changed but you'll know that you are and you will learn to slowly start forgiving yourself. If you stay buried in that guilt, it will eventually take you back to the addiction way of thinking, and you'll eventually go back to whatever the substances were that helped ease that pain. I know this is one very long comment, but I hope it helps anyone who reads it. Know that you can still pull yourself out of the deep end, and you can be a light in someone else's life to help them, and yourself thru the darkness that is addiction. Love you all, and thank you for reading my long winded comment.
Apologies for any typos, I'm writing this from the heart, and going back through will only take away from that. Take care.
Good to see positive feedback
Congrats on your sobriety 👍
@@amp6057 Jesus loves you and is here for you .
@capral marines how did u make it ?
Basically, seeing this video years ago is the reason I decided NOT to ignore my Mother who had problems with Alcohol anymore, to call her more and give her attention... And it was one of the main reasons that she is now completely alcohol free! And so am I!
Ties, Connections and Relationships....
Thank you!
Congratulations. What a wonderful outcome!
God bless you.
Got any specific tactics? My mom has been going through this for years. Picked up near daily drinking almost a decade ago now.
@@DustinShaneYounce Honestly? No, not really... I avoided talking about talking about the alcohol and focus more on the person. It did not help anyway to tell her again and again that alcohol was bad and a problem. She new that herself and it did not work at all. During the spare times she was not drunk or only a little drunk, I focussed on the positive things in life... We got a better connection and as a result she decided life was not that bad at all, and alcohol was DEFINITELY not a solution. Hope everything turns out for the best for you Shane.. Stay strong!
This is a beautiful thing to read! So happy for you and your mom!
The fact that nobody talks about the book Dopamine Enigma Unveiled, speaks volumes about how people are stuck in a trance.
So go on, talk about it and tell us what you read
I'm struggling really bad atm is that book worth buying?? What is it about
@@jonnycraig8853laptop
I’m interested in your suggestion but can’t find that title. Is it “Dopamine Unveiled: Dopamine in Evolution, Advanced Cognitive Functions, Health and Disease, Society and Advanced Dopamine Biology!” by Jeff Piek?
Wow. Best TED Talks yet. This must be listened to by every single American and developing country. Bless this man.
I've been posting this video in many different places. For the single purpose of getting the message out. People NEED to understand this!!!
ua-cam.com/video/zbds1L4bQmo/v-deo.html
Here is Addiction talk
@@Astralpilot2050 , I prefer recovery talk.
Very good talk indeed. Evolutionary and positive.
The problem with addiction is the fact that the current situation allows for the negation of addictive behaviour to affect the non addict. This is excruciating and vexatious for those victims of crime that see addicts everywhere stealing, robbing, and begging for their fix of hard drugs.
The war on drugs is a failure, give the addict his fix legally while also avoiding crime which affects us all.
Stats show that a high percentage of crime is for drug addiction so why are policies and laws and punitive measures still in place when those on the ground, ordinary people like you and me see the negative affects?? Maybe this is because those well to do policy makers and politicians are nicely tucked away in their nice neighbourhoods in their nice jobs with their full bank accounts totally ignorant to the impending realities of the poor life and those that struggle.
Decriminalise and give the addict what he needs - at least one positive aspect of this is much less crime which in turn affects the lay man or women in a positive way. Logically, sensible and compassionate.
Good talk.
I am a recovering addict with 7 years clean and, you hit the nail on the head, learned so much about myself that I was completely unaware of.
Thats why;;THEY,,... wanna keep us al addicted.....!!!
Hey, good work.
16 days clean 😊
@@cyberlion6411
It's 12 step talk. They say it's an incurable disease
CyberLion Allow others to choose their own path . I could easily criticise and try to shame you and put you down because of your choices . I won’t do that because you have the right to be you just the same as the guy that calls himself a recovering addict .
Live & let live .
I agree completely with the" opposite of addiction is connection". I was in a loveless twenty-year relationship and when I was at my lowest (as an alcoholic), he left. The worst thing that ever happened to me ended up being the best. After a year alone and near death I found the connection I had been looking for those twenty years in my climbing community. My climbing family are the people who saved my life and who continually stick by me. I just celebrated nine years sober and connection is what made all the difference.
congrats! "Your biggest breakdown can be your biggest breakthrough"
@@lilshortie8991 so true.
that is true for me too
Excellent Ted Talk . Unfortunately most non addicts either through stubbornness or my personal opinion , a sheer unwillingness to refuse to look at addiction as more then somone who can't control themselves. Just get it together, what's wrong with you. Why can't you just drink like normal people. Now obviously this juvenile mentality comes from a place of ignorance, reluctance , stupidity to an extent and numerous other things or as I previously eluded to a simple unwillingness to challenge oneself's beliefs and allow new thoughts and ideas to maybe, dare I say, challenge old thoughts and even change your way of thinking?? Even in the slightest .
For most, of course not. I mean it's sooo much easier to look down upon, shame ,
and chastise somone with an addiction. The non addict, generally speaking, will never get it, they can't. The most unfortunate revelation is it's not because they simply can't understand addiction . Most don't want to understand addiction
@@kevinloftus7464 Wow you are so right that is exactly what I say most of my family members don't understands I think I have explained to them over a thousand times what is it that an addict feels and that this is not something that anyone would ever want to go through and all they know how to say is just go and seek help when I've seeked help many times and it didn't do me any good but get me even more deeper than what I was and like you said a lot of them just don't want to understand they stick to their opinion and their opinion means more and anyone else's loved your comment perfectly said💯
I'm 7 years clean, my wife is 6 years clean. I've been held hostage, lost my son to the ministry, lost the cars, the house, the money, the business, my wife left to a life on the street where she spent 18 months escaping extreme domestic and gang violence. She ended up pregnant and clawed her way out, she had to escape for two now. we spent 5 years apart healing in recovery. we've been back together for 2 years now and after losing all, today, we closed on a home. I run this podcast full time thanks to a bunch of great organizations in my community. I have a life I never saw coming. its possible. It's an epic adventure. We can recover.
That's wonderful who were those organisations, in which country?
I'm very much looking forward to listening to your podcast!
Amen! I’m sober almost 10 years and We do recover.
You and your wife have such an AMAZING testimony! I am soooo proud of you!! I am in recovery- 1year and over 7 months sober from alcohol! WE DO RECOVER! WE ARE ALL HUMANS IN NEED OF LOVE AND CONNECTION! 🥰
❤❤❤❤❤❤
I lost my big brother to heroin on Sunday, 6/7/2020. His viewing is today. September 6, 2018 he and I sat on his front porch and he showed me this video. I tried to be there for him but I’m human and weak and I failed. Please do everything you can to be there for those who need help. RIP Mattie 💗
Please know this
- He would've never wanted you to be hurting like this. It was an accident. But It almost sound as if you may be taking some kind of blame? It was accident so please don't let your mind go there. Instead live your life in the best way you can for you and for him...God Bless You ..
@@peashooter8228 thank you for your kind words. It’s been a long road. I know he’s better now and he accepted God i to his life a few months beforehand. That had brought me so much comfort. I blame myself because he tried to tell me and I had boundaries with it. He was alone and in a motel (two weeks out of 90 day rehab). I was 5 months pregnant at the time and wasn’t allowed to have him stay with me. Part of me still thinks I could have kept it from happening. I know God is with me every day as I still grieve. I just still miss him so much and don’t want to be mad for what happened. I just had so much hope that this time would break the 10 year cycle. God bless you as well.
@@seylerfam7025 I'm so sorry for your loss.. Sometimes all we need to do is let go of the burdens and guilt and believe God's taken care of it all and that He was and still is in control, sending you and your family love
My baby son, 26 years old, died of benzos and kratom (similar to heroin) on 06/30/2019, every 6 months its either Christmas, or 6 months later his birthday. I cry for days at a time. I am an addict and have no life, no social life, I was on the way to the hospital because i wanted to use I called 8 people that said they would ALWAYS be there for me... they all shot me down. Even my other 2 children who blocked me. Am I happy to be alive... Nope.
Its not your fault. You really need to know and understand this! Sorry about your brother!
I have been sober from IV heroin and meth for 15 months. I watched this a few months into my soberity and it really has helped me build a life worth keeping and adjusting my behavior when I start isolating. ❤
@Andrea Williams thank you!
"I've been posting the following question on several of these comments: Regarding "the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. the opposite of addiction is connection." May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...Or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)...
@@irchristo I believe addiction is a symptom of a larger issue. I wouldnt say the opposite of addiction is connection. I would say the way to recovery isnt just soberity but connection to oneself, others, and their God.
@@lindymartin8425 ... Agreed. My own working definition for addiction is "Using a physical solution to solve a spiritual problem."
@@lindymartin8425 u r certainly right
This is spot on. I’ve been struggling with alcoholism for over 20 years. As more and more people distanced themselves from me or just flat out wanted nothing to do with me I just started pushing people away or just refused to start any new relationships. I had no meaningful ones left. Even family I have kept at a distance. Alone is what I felt I had become. It became an identity. Depression, anxiety, dark thoughts of wishing for death to come and deliver relief. My friend who I’ve known since middle school who was also alcoholic passed away two years ago and we used to bet who would go first. At this point I decided to either get busy living or dying. I have had a few slips but I am doing much better and trying to connect with people. Going to AA and reaching out to new friends. I whole heartedly believe in what this man just said. It made me tear up a bit actually. Thank you sir. It’s an important reminder to me.
Wish you the best.
I believe it. I struggle with it too. I pray you keep up the fight as I will.
Keep doing the good work you will make it 👏 proud of you
I think i might try AA.
Dustin one day at a time hang in there it will all work out
The best quote I ever read was ‘recovery is making your reality one you don’t want to escape from’, and now I see an addiction craving as a symptom of a deeper problem
Crying my eyes out after watching this, if only more people realised or even entertained these ideas. Alot of respect for this speaker and all who worked with him
May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)...the opposite of addiction is not sobriety. the opposite of addiction is connection. - johann hari
It’s wierd how when you really need something it finds you. I needed to watch this!
See _Apophenia_ - it's a really common problem.
@@BigHeretic UA-cam algorithm too
God bless neo
They say when the student is ready the teacher will appear 😏💯
It's the same with drugs tbh. I never thought I would do drugs until my dad cheated on my mom. I'm 14 and have now tried weed, Xanax, LSD, shrooms, adderall, I vape, and the Xanax gave me a seizure in math class after quitting. All the pain drugs take away will be handed back in the form of physical pain and mental suffering when you quit. If your a kid and reading this just don't do it, trust me I know I sound like a jerk and would have laughed if I read this before popping a xan. You do not have it all under control and if people get addicted to these substances so easily what makes you different? If anything your more prone to becoming addicted due to you ur age. Just don't, if you really believe you must smoke some weed or try meditating.
This made me cry. Children need to be taught in public school about mental health and therapeutic tools to cope from trauma and family dysfunction, self awareness and mindset, because a society that emphasizes maths and science while neglecting the human condition does not provide the basic human skills/education for a functioning adult in society no matter how great their SAT score, nor does it allow us to become a great society and reach our human potential. I felt I didn’t get enough connection growing up from my parents, and I have an “addictive personality.” I think we need to teach and emphasize more public education about communication skills, coping skills, and healthy relationships.
This has to start at home with parents and grandparents. This is why we have the problems in schools and society today. No help from parents and they should not depend on the school system to ways of the world and how to cope.
Totally agree Megan
1000% yes
@@shelbyhill147 you’re right. What I’m thinking is, public schools should represent what areas are not being taught at home. So many kids grow up in dysfunctional
homes that the hope is, a public education would fill in and make up for the systemic dysfunctional patterns we can see in society due to broken homes.
Agree. And we need people to tell what you said to those in government.
This hits hard. My dad lost his battle to addiction an exact month after my 19th birthday and as I was just getting into college. I never knew how to deal with his addiction but I know he struggled everyday. He always tried his best for his daughters. I wish he had more time on this earth so that I could show him more compassion in his trying times and maybe it would have helped him get better in the end.
Sorry for your loss. Hope all is well❤️
Wow, I did this with the people I love dearly. Spent almost a full year with 3 of them. It’s true, it worked.
Of course, it's not 100 percent proof but it's 100 times better than punishing and shunning them.
okey
Mary Palen hello ✌🏼 my name is Tyler I’m a recovering heroin addict running an up & coming channel on here that is recovery based and I also give advice & kind words & love to all addicts, ones that are clean and trying each and every day and people who are still using all welcome to my page. My newest vid “ a message to the person who knows an addict” just went up yesterday if you feel like checking it out. Every person that subscribes gets my message closer to the person who’s dead inside and needs it the most ❤️❤️❤️ god bless you
"The opposite of addiction is connection" - beautiful!
absolutely
@lost souls Naturally, nobody implied that sobriety equal connection! With regard to the "junkie couples" and the deep connections between them, I believe you"re romantisizing a very painful situation plagued by loneliness and inner void.
Such Bullshit
May I ask if this is your opinion because of your experience or is it your opinion because you like the sentiment? ...or? (Real question - no judgment or tricks)
@@irchristo experience with friends growing up and watching them die in some cases. Didn't matter the level of love or acceptance, addicts I've known just take and take. I'm watching one spiral right now and acceptance just drives them to do more. It's more complex than this video makes it out to be.
IF I CHANGE THE WAY I LOOK AT THINGS, THE THINGS I LOOK AT CHANGE. KEEP MOVING FORWARD MY FELLOW RECOVERING ADDICTS!!!!!
As I sit here, as an addict, this resonates on a level most aren’t familiar with. Not to trope the male ego or stigmas, but I feel as if I’m expected to just deal with it. I do believe in hope and overcoming circumstance. Bless you all
It would be cliche for me to say “you got this man” or “you can do it “ I guess everyone is on their own journey brother. I myself started using cocaine at the start of the year because family issues kind of triggered me into dabbling with it .
@@rolo2351 I hear you man. Good luck to you on your journey; I hope you find the peace I’m sure you’re seeking
You sit there as a person before anything brother, all the best in everything you do.
Rooting for u ❤️
@@zatomlzxzanamolzy1253 thank you, I very much appreciate your kind words
What is ironic about the US is that it banned drugs, but in entertainment, arts, etc, Americans relentlessly send out the message that drugs are cool, even desirable.
Francisco Comelli Maybe some drugs but I can't think of anything that makes heroin look cool
Francisco Comelli aà
TashiSoCali uuuuh Kurt cobain? Sure, he died, but his death is romanticized big time. Self destructive kids see heroin use as a mode of expression, a cry for attention. Rockstars have been using heroin since the 60's, johnny cash abused opiates, the 90's were basically a heroin-bonanza for mainstream entertainment-Grunge made heroin very cool to a lot of kids.
TashiSoCali pain meds, lol :(
Francisco Comelli the elite want the people to be drug users, it ruins lives, fuels the prison system (majorly I might sad, 85 percent of prisoners in the US are drug users, nor even dealers at that. Without them the prisons wouldn't hold up. Which is a huge reason the government brings drugs in, distributes them, and then Imprison people for using it, also gives another excuse to tax the people more to keep the prison system up and running which the owners of them become rich off of. Quite sad.) it kills people, etc. The global elite knows that by making drugs illegal, people will tend to do them more. It's human nature to break the rules, to gravitate towards things we're told not to do. Teenagers have more fun drinking when they're younger because the thrill of doing something they're not supposed to adds the excitement to it. When they turn 21 they don't thrive to try and go out and party like when they were 16. Sad to know the people on top planned and execute the fall of their own kind, just for their selfish need for power.
I wish someone would say they love and come to sit with me. The social stigmas related to addiction make it awful lonely
Hey😊..your an amazing person ..dont ever forget that 😊😘😙....also a recovering addict 😊
I dont know, skid row seems like a pretty wholesome community.
Ill sit with you. Im lonely too itd be nice to just have someone to sit with
Just because we are addicts does not mean we are not good people ...we are just people that have had life hard ..but we are nice good people 😊..with feelings 😊...we are all amazing and capable of great things 😊..dont ever forget that
I'd sit with you Rachael. Being an addict does NOT define you. Underneath your addiction, you are a brave and good person fighting a battle that nobody would want in their lives. I wish you all the best! I am going back to school to get my masters to be a Substance Abuse Counselor to help people like yourself. Keep fighting! You will come out on the other side!
He did his research out of compassion and love...wonderful.
My brother struggled with alcohol use and first time we sent him to rehab, it was useless. In a few months, he experienced alcoholic psychosis and decided to go sober. It's one year since and he is doing well. All through the journey, my family stood like a rock behind him. Made him feel valued and loved.
You’re brother is lucky to have you all ❤
I was a heroin and meth smoker, one day I decided that I was being an idiot and quit cold turkey and I decided that I would continue to hang out with the same friends that I was doing sed drugs with. I thought that maybe I could lead by example and I managed to save one friend, she got clean and stayed clean, no rehab. I one point I just couldn't handle watching the other friends killing themselves so I decided to cut ties with them. I am currently 3 years clean and I know I will never relapse.
Alcoholic Hallucinations are fucking terrifying. I’ll never forget my time spent in the ICU for withdrawals. I was close to dying. Your brother and I are brothers in sobriety and I hope nobody ever feels the hopelessness we have felt. But we do recover!
When he said those words “I love you, I don’t want you to be alone”, I felt like everything slowed down for a couple seconds
I'm not going to lie but my eyes welled up. Like many others I'm battling addiction right now, and although it's not going to kill me, I'm very alone.
@@DV-zv4ox :(
No, you're not
♥️♥️♥️ me too.
@@DV-zv4ox Many of us are with you, in our aloneness.
I tear every time I watch this. This speech means a lot to me. I had/have serious addiction problems. Thank you 🙏🏻 for giving me strength. I want a hug 😢
Konstantinos stay strong❤️
We are there for you... Don’t feel 😔 down... Stay Strong. You can stop being what you don’t want to do. Only if you are strong, brother.
Me too!*
Hugs sent to you 🤗
Sending a Big Virtual Hug Your way, Gods Strength and Blessings in all Your needs
Hands down best Ted talk I've seen so far. I'm a recovering addict. 10yrs now. If it wasn't for the unconditional love my wife showed me I would probably be dead. I wish America would wake up and see the real problems and stop hiding behind these made up ones.
Good work. 5 yrs off heroin for me but only 2 yrs off marijuana. So I guess I'm only 2 yrs completely drug free. But I'm still proud of the 5 yrs of being free of everythi g else bc I not only was an iv heroin addict, i did most everything you could think of. So good work to you and keep going.
I am so happy for you. You have an amazing wife. ❤️❤️❤️
GOD is love
Hi.., I am on the other side and I'm not such a great wife as yours.., I am tired of trying to understand the other one and not be considered why and how it's is hard for me. Any advice ? :( I am surprised to see most comments come from addict and nobody who lives with one.
Szirmaie. Please search for the closest Al-Anon meeting to you. If you go to the meetings once a week for a month and it’s not right for you, try a different Al-Anon group (I had to do just this). You will find men and women in situations just like yours. You will find understanding and gain strength. I hope you find what you need and what helps you.
As a 24 yr old addict myself, I have not a single soul to fall back on, to vent to, to connect with, etc. I’ve been traumatized and abused my entire life and never wanted to be an addict. My whole world flipped upside down after leaving a long term abusive relationship and tried meth for the first time. 2 years later, I haven’t stopped despite the desire and conscious knowledge of wanting to recover. I have no one that tells me they love me or are there for me, and I’m lonely with no human interactions in my daily life. I absolutely hate it and want connections with others. I have changed my toxic mindset completely over the past 4 years and nobody sees me for how I am now, only how I was as a child and young teen. I hope I can take the steps to recover for myself. I don’t want to lose my life or travel this path forever. I’m thankful for this video and the people that have commented. ❤you all, addicts or not. You matter & you’re seen.
Hope your doing well now and made new connections more power and strength to you 🫂
Seek the truth in the bible, and find yourself a community in the church… you will find purpose and a hope in your future 🙏🏼
Oh my gosh, you are so brave and valued, please be string and keep going, you are an amazing human, and there is love in the world for you xx
You are loved and yes you are precious, just sharing this it must have taken you such courage, you must be such an incredible human! Please know I shall be praying for you 🤗shampa mum..India
I'm 37 yr old and believe me the feeling of isolation and disconnect transcends everything. I hope you have found peace within the chaotic void. I have not found it but I have begun the journey. The material I'm beginning with is by Gabor Mate and Johann Hari. They are very wise and compassionate persons. You and the universe are one, embrace it all.
The "rat in a cage" analogy is perfect!
If you're bored, or have no friends or support, you're going to drink or do other harmful things - even if you hate doing them. 😢
That's where I am right now- in a "cage" with a lot of beer and cigarettes and no friends or support - and there's alot of anger towards me because I'm an alcoholic, and it really sucks!!!! 😠
Just because I'm an alcoholic doesn't make me a bad person, it just makes me act poorly and have bad judgment at times.
My family doesn't understand what I'm going through, and won't listen to me either; they just TELL me what I should do, they don't ever ASK me how I'm feeling, or how I got this way.
I'm sorry to hear. .ayve show them this ted talk.
Gazzy go out and create “rat park.” All we need is connection.
Hope u ok mate u can do this bro go meet friends an u will fine bro
Try going to a meeting. It worked for me
No one is going to understand what ur going through but only an another addict...so honestly go to a meeting it will work out just fine, I promise😇
Throughout this whole talk I was thinking about Dr Mate and his studies. So glad he brought him up, Mate's transparency along side his work is truly remarkable.
CapMurd A 15 minute time limit probably has a lot to do with it too.
Julia Allen lol yes it was a brief, but informative introduction.
CapMurd Hari is an acclaimed writer who has spoken to a wide variety of valid sources on this topic. It's true, he is not an MD, but he isn't just "some dude" like you or me, lol.
He understands it a lot better than you
CapMurd Wow, you are one unhappy, pissed-off person. And you're wrong. Laymen in any field can study a subject relentlessly and be, in some cases, more informed than a lot of professionals. You need help to rid yourself of bitterness and ignorance.
I'm truly moved by this mans message. When he looked right at the screen and said, "I love you", I started to tear up. I lost a friend today who had battled drug dependency for thirty years. His mother went the tough love route. He never felt as though they could ever connect when she was saying that their relationship depended on him stopping. He couldn't stop because the connections he had were weak. And yesterday he overdosed and died.
I actually started crying when I read your comment.. Poor him, I'm so sorry!
PettyAnn Vicious I actually shed a tear lol
Observation. How she (the mom) handled it was not "tough love" ... that conditional love.
Ann Kleinman I don't agree with that. There absolutely is such a thing as tough love. My brother has had a substance abuse problem for many years and he knows that at any time he can call any of us in our family, he can come sit with us, eat at our homes, etc. We will not give him money, and we will not leave him in our homes unattended as he has stolen from everyone, even my grandma on her death bed. To this day he has no remorse for anything he has done. We love him anyway, but are careful to not enable him in any way. I have cancer and have reached out to him several times and he will pretend to my other family like he cares about me but won't even return a call. Not all situations are the same and many long term addicts continually steal from and burn family members, who love them anyway but won't enable them.
Danielle Culbertson-Kizziar I agree with you, my mother gets drunk because she wants to. I am able to say that because I spent the best part of thirty years trying to "fix" her. She will go through long periods of not drinking so she is not chemically addicted. If I could have loved her addiction out of her I would have done, in fact there is no one who could have tried harder than I did. People need to discover the consequences of addiction themselves , and then take rehabilitation only if they are genuinely interestedly in it and when it is not just another manipulation.
That's so interesting to me.
I have had depression on and off for a few years now. I think this also explains depression quite nicely. You see, my room is a mess, my grades are a mess,...my life is a mess.
Yet I never wanted to get up because I have no friends, and my family did not try and reach out and help me. I always feel so lonely, and that I am worth nothing. My family, especially my mom, would make fun of me to other people. Talk behind my back intentionally so that I would hear what she says about me. Everything I say, my parents look at each other and make me feel as if I am crazy. My mom would tell my friends about how messy I am, how I am a terrible child. I ended up feeling isolated and unwanted, as she always told me she wished I was not her daughter and that some one else's child is. It was the fact that she said this so calmly and final that it unnerved me.
They only yell and scream at me, Shame. Shun. Belittle.
I no longer feel like a person.
I know that no one will see this comment, but if anyone, ANYONE, sees this, this is my cry for help.
Try artwork, or get some jewelry making supplies. Don't underestimate how powerful this can be for your self esteem and peace of mind. I taught myself how to make jewelry, it was crap at first, now it's high quality craft work, I developed my own techniques. Your mom sounds toxic. Think of her as someone who is just human behaving badly, do something creative, maybe sell your work!
Oh my god. Girl you have Trauma you need to do research
Consider:
Borderline personality disorder
Or
Complex Ptsd
Sweetie, my mom abused me too. It sounds like your mom is an energy vampire who is sucking you dry. Focus on the kind of life you want and make it happen. Elena focus like a laser on your dreams and desires. Pray to Jesus to heal you. I have a much better life now, and my mom can't hurt me anymore. A mom should never say such terrible things to their children. YOU ARE WORTH LOVING AND DESERVE LOVE. I know it's hard but try praying for your mom to be filled with the holy spirit. Clean your room. Eat healthy fresh foods, lean meats, and try to avoid greasy fried foods, and junk food. Try to take 30 min walks 5 days a week some place safe, maybe ask your mom to walk with you? Be healthy, positive and SEE yourself being happy and healthy. You are a sweet girl. You deserve joy! I prayed for you. Blessings for you Elena.
if you know ur worth and stay positive you will come out on top in the long run, negative always rules out positive put never let that keep you down
Your family sounds awful, maybe unintentionally sometimes, but not all the time.
YOU know your worth!! Find your interests, be it chess, theatre, rowing, music festivals, TV shows, whatever and surround yourself with like minded ppl. FIND YOUR FREAKS!! They will give you the love and connections we all need in life.
I can't stress enough...FIND YOUR FELLOW FREAKS AND CONNECT!!🤪😊
I am an addict in recovery. I have relapsed in the past. This time I have over a year and a half clean. I had to change everything. Surrender to a power greater than myself. Surrender to being powerless ... just like I had done in active addiction to the drugs I used. I have to remain reachable and teachable... open minded and willing to grow and change. I have to trust the process daily
I just finished a zoom meeting bc we can't meet physically right now. This is a one day at a time thing. Acceptance is key. Staying in the moment is key.
Keep going don’t ever give up I believe in you I just got 10 days which isn’t much but it’s a start we are not who we became but who we choose to become
Nice one bud, keep going ODAAT
@@jeremycasper5181 how are you today Jeremy
@@fvallee33 doing great brother blessed everyday alive is great and a blessing much better then I was a couple weeks ago back to work have a relationship with my family thank you for asking how are you today
@@jeremycasper5181 👍👍👍
We also need to change the definition of loneliness. Loneliness does NOT mean you don't have friends and family around you, loneliness means you are disconnected from them. You can feel lonely even if you're surrounded by thousands of people, this is because you're not connecting with any of them.
So don't think by just being around someone is enough, you need to CONNECT with them!
I had a good woman in my life, kids, my own business, nice cars went on vacation twice a year. But I stilled turned to be an alcoholic/addict. Had nothing to do with my lack of connection. It had all to do with ME! My childhood, my lack of self esteem, I didn't want to feel "normal". I had to look within. And start there. Alot of reading. Alot of soul searching. It will be 3 years sober next month. I continue to live day by day in appreciation.
Please never give up
Just a stranger here, but I’m proud of you.
Did you get your life back? I’ve just lost my love and he doesn’t want to be back because of his addiction as it hurts
I'm a recovering addict over 15 yrs clean and like you I had great parents and great job. To this day I'm still looking for the answer. Why did I? Is there an addiction gene? Was it because on both sides of my family my grandfather and uncles were alcoholics? Now I'm left unanswered questions an lots of guilt that I can't get rid of. I do know that I'll never take H ever again.
Yes it’s a weakness that addicts succumb to. Same with gambling addicts. They abandon their family and connections.
Wow... i'm an addict for nearly 20 years (nearly clean the last 3 1/2 years) and the last lines gave goosebumbs, chills down my spine and made me almost cry. It's as true as the earth is round, that if you are an addict, you are so freakin' lonely. But on the other side he gave me some kinda feeling of hope ;-)
We need so many people more like him!
Thank you, all the way from Germany !
My brother, one of the most charming, generous and funny people I've ever known was also a heroin addict. While I tried to help him in any way I could and accepted him as he was, the rest of the family was ashamed and upset upon finding out his circumstances for the longest time.
He developed a tumour in his throat, most likely from the aluminium (chasing the dragon for ±15 yrs) and died from it in 2010 aged 45. What I am most grateful for is that in those last 10 months of his life, after his diagnosis, family member and friends of family, neighbours all got to see what a great guy he really was and accepted him as he was. He felt loved and acceptance before he died and I miss him every day. 💜
💜
🙏💞🙏💞
BOW-- your brief story of your brother moved me to tears...to know that there is such a strong yet delicate, nuanced, steely love available in the human heart.....
You are a wonderful person to love your brother through his worst days.
I have been trying to have the discovery of the nature of addiction known for years to end the war on drugs. I would like to help you as a recovering addict and psychologist. Addiction is the psychology of a liar, only liars get hooked and only honesty gets freedom. The tragedy of addiction is children who revenge a childhood hurt, or trauma, against their parents learning from example. Addicts don’t forgive. I am alone socially ostracised by liars paying the price for being honest. I can prove my claim that the obvious truth is addiction is the psychology of a liar dropping mortality rates when my theory is known. It is harder to convince a fool that to know the truth is better than to be deceived than to deceive him.
This is possibly the best Ted talk I've ever heard. Addiction isn't inherently bad. Just a bit misguided in finding connection and happiness. Like a child struggling in a particular subject in school, we should help them understand and guide them! Not send them to detention and berate them for being a bad student! At the end of the day, it's their understanding of that subject that will ultimately allow them to feel successful and grow alongside their peers. To anyone else struggling with addiction, loneliness, etc., you're NOT alone!
The problem is when people don't want help and guidance (which is usually the case with addicts) they just want more of the drug. They insist they don't need help and nothing is wrong. How do you help someone like that?
If you think this one is the best, you haven't heard the banned TED talks
ua-cam.com/video/1TerTgDEgUE/v-deo.html
@@lukemartin9977 ..i have also the same question..what if being with seems to be a burden for them(because they know we will be disappointed if they failed to quit)..do i have to stay to show support ?
Never have So many things I believed in on a subject been popped on at once. I felt like walls were literally breaking in my brain watching this
ride
I met to say pooped btw not popped
+Hi my name is Mike. and i think you also meant to say *meant not met
VivaLaVida And I think you also meant to say *I not i. We are only human, so we make mistakes.
Hi my name is Mike. Sorry *I didn't mean to sound rude
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
Wow. Right as I was about to leave my high-functioning alcoholic best friend and boyfriend because he thinks he can get sober by himself, I watched this video. I was addicted to pills for 10 years and my ex-husband continuously beat me down emotionally and mentally (even after I got sober) until I thought I was worth exactly what he implied I was - nothing. I'm still working things out with with my alcoholic boyfriend, but instead of leaving, I set healthy boundaries for myself, accept him for who he is, and for the first time since he was 15, he WANTS to quit drinking; for himself, for his son, for my girls and me. Please pray he does before it's too late. He's truly a good, honest, deeply-feeling, but hurting and sick man who's just never learned healthy coping skills or had good, trustworthy people in his life.
Thank you!
Everything will be good just keep up the good energy and learn more and more and grow better
@@christopherallen487 Because you seem to know me so well or think I'm judging someone, you don't and I'm not. Did you not read what I wrote? Don't you think I haven't thought about the harm I caused my ex-husband (who is now fully supportive of me, has been for the 14 years I've been sober, and we've co-parented our kids beautifully together) and that I'd get anything I deserved? I buried my past after asking forgiveness and changing my lifestyle completely.
My best friend and boyfriend who's struggling with alcoholism treats me wonderfully or I wouldn't be with him. He's more than what I was to my ex-husband and we've known each other since we were 14, so don't think he doesn't know about my past. We talk about everything together. So go be mean somewhere else, Mr Judgy McJudgerson! Thanks!
Your message shows your strong keep on going
@@gmcb1711 Thank you. He's 5 days sober!! Starting to feel pretty crappy and a little moody, but he's hanging in there, not taking it out in me or anyone else bc he knows this is a choice he's been making (to not stop or get help) for 30 years. He's a good man. He could use prayers (we both could Haha), if anyone is the praying sort. I just keep encouraging him. Right now, he's just loving that he doesn't have a hangover every morning before work and not spending so much money on beer! I'm a little guarded, of course, but still giving him all the love and support I can. That's all I can do. This is all him and God. ❤🙏🏼
@@urban_fox4658 your comment says it was posted 3 days ago. i hope that means he’s now on his 8th day of sobriety. nothing is more real or important than family and relationship! always remember that :)
i'm not addicted to drugs or stuff like that.
But i also see, that with the Social media nowadays you live in a seprate world.
The connection is lost
mitchell duiker Its not quite seprate but its different sub cultures. Every one has different things they like and thats why some cultures are more exposed then the others.
Go to an animal shelter and walk a dog or two every day. Go on long walks in nature with dogs and give them lots of water to drink and food to eat. They need your love and you need their love and you all need each other's connection.
mitchell duiker true. And social media can be an addiction within itself
mitchell duiker i think addiction doesn’t have to be necessarily drugs. it can be anything. you can be addicted to gambling or addicted to biting your nails. addiction is an action that causes self destruction and negatively changes your moods with other people you interact with. addiction to social media is a growing topic. we are the first generation in history to be addicted to social media. or even the first century. because it wasn’t really heavily used until the 2000s. it’s a new topic that should be taken seriously like you pointed out.
Paola F you’re absolutely right. Addiction is for lack of a better description a form of OCD that manifests itself focusing on something or similar things in particular. And yes self-destruction is inevitable, even if it’s an addiction to something by all accounts healthy for you, like working out. The degrees vary, of course, but it becomes something you cannot and are not in control of. It becomes a compulsion. Goes back to the old saying “Nothing is bad in moderation”. Which is bullshit by the way.....and whatever truth is a slippery slope. Just stay grounded and pray often. The Lord will light the way. ♥️
I was just having a conversation about this with a friend. Addicting substances and habits cause the dopamine rush we also get when we bond with loved ones or do good things for others. Let's hope this pandemic teaches us about the value of community and having a real circle of friends.
I like that. I amalways seen as half loopy because I see the silver lining in everything. The fact that Covid has made self care so much more open and officially sanctioned even. That being human is enough.
You're absolutely right. Greets from Portugal.
How very insightful and realistic you sound!! GOOD FOR YOU!! Blessings, my friend. 🙏☮️❤️
@@fernandobernardo6324 can you buy any drug where you live?
@@minnesota7010 Yes and no, it's not illegal if you're caught with a small quantity just for consume but it's illegal to sell it and you can get prison for years if you're a big dealer as in other places. So it's an illegal activity as a whole.
I've watched Intervention and while it seems inspiring at first glance, they say at the end of the show that most "victims" who had interventions done to them actually relapsed. Maybe, based on your talk Johann, that's because the mindset of shaming addicts never changed? My ex partner is an addict as well, Oxy for 1 year. The biggest thing I noticed when he was talking to me about addiction was the severe sense of disappointment that he felt everyone around him had towards him. Those feelings could be crippling he said, and can drive you to depression and further addiction. We're unfortunately not together anymore in part because of his lack of emotional coping skills due to drugs, but I still love him as a human and as a friend and don't want him to be socially alone. Maybe love without expectation is the answer.
"The opposite of addiction is connection" - wonderful words.
+Cliodhna Carthy Well, unless you're using other people the way you used drugs. Being addicted to "connection" and validation through other people is pitiful.
guess that's why so many people with autism suffer from addiction. my one problem in life is the inability to connect with people.
Bike Rider It's often not worth the effort. Most of the problem is our feeling that we 'should' want to do this or that, we 'should' want to connect with others, we're "supposed" to find it a great fulfilling experience. Who says? Solitude gets a bad rap, especially from 12-Steppers who label it "isolation."
"Re Parenting" & Self Development, searchable & free resources all her on UA-cam, is what gave me tools to change my brain; now life gets better every day!!! Go ahead, try it :) the highs are the best in the world.
I get what you are saying . I am an introvert and need time alone to recharge. My healthy balance of time with people and time alone is different than that of an extrovert. And Beyond that, I would think that balance is different among each introvert; it's a very personal thing.
*note to self*
I need to watch this when I'm sober.
thank you past me.
Are you sober now? There's a video waiting.
Watched it sober yet? Hope so :)
I'll comment so this will pop up in recommendation for you.
Hey come watch this
Lennon Sending love your way!
"The drug doesn't make the drug addict, its the need to escape reality"
Montgomery Montgomery
Yes absolutely
Montana Marshall there is . A boring one for them
Drugs liquor food huffing what ever it is,escape & a host of other wonderful things associated with chronic addiction are just symptoms of a deeper underlying problem..just like any other ailment..treat the the origin or the symptoms.
Montgomery Montgomery are you an addict?
I drank and used on a daily basis for over 20 years. It was like breathing to me. I drank and used because I hated the way sober felt. I can't even begin to describe to a non-addict how completely disgusting sober felt. There's nothing worse than being sober when you're active in your 'addiction'. And even though I've been clean just shy of eight years now, I still feel disconnected from humanity. I don't even relate to other alcoholics/addicts, active or clean. Not sure that will ever change.
Swear addiction makes you feel as lonely as you possibly could, yet we are not. Big big love to my fellow fighters, keep ploughing through
Thank you. This one hit home big time. I'm married to an alcoholic. He already has enough shame. After listening to this, my approach will definately change.
God bless you all💙
I am an alcoholic 2 years dry (clean) If you want to message me feel free
Best of luck. For Both of you. I'm not a religious person, but God bless both of you.
@@AdrianJimenez70 Adrian, I can't tell you what that means to me right now.
Thank you
thanks
Same! I wish I saw this sooner.
I want you to know I cried all throughout the video. My story I thought was one of addiction by prescription but after listening to you I realized I embraced the substance to shield my pain. A lot of pain.
There were never material needs in my life but my heart and soul were empty.
I am still crying because this came into my life as a problem after I lost all hope: at 59; 68 now, and the only reason I have never committed suicide because the thought has entered my mind and the reason that I have or will not is because I know there is one God.
Thanks you for your love and compassion and for making me understand what the real reason for addiction or dependency is!
Love you rremember😍😍😍
Treating addicts like human beings works?
Who knew.
I promised I wouldn't be one of those people, but this is my first highly liked comment and it feels good!
A part of the problem is that they end up getting treated like commodities by employers.
I also looked into this guy's wiki page. Not the most honest person out there. I distrust TED talkers anyhow, and this just added to my view of them.
At its core, addiction recovery is a service/business.
@@TJ-vj2hc a recent book i read was how a recovered one saw it as a ocd compulsion problem. You treat the ocd and it goes away. Treats your brain how to stop obsessive thoughts ans behaviors and makes you have the ability to think before acting. Since the frontal lobe that tells someone to stop is underactive. I dont think one thing is the answer like this guy says
@@TJ-vj2hc its a fucking wiki page
Humans knew.
@@TJ-vj2hc - spot on! Some 3 letter political associations have been smuggling drugs in n abusing citizens since their inception, then there's big pharma... n then the business of "healing" - all issues combined n intertwined with politics...
Most beautiful thing to say to someone. “I love you and I don’t want you to feel alone.”
I'm Portuguese! Some people say that Portugal is not what this man claims to be! But Portugal is more than that! This country is beautiful! Portugal is the 5th safest country in the world and has the most liberal drug laws in the world!
Love from Portugal
Can't wait to see it one day.
Love from the US. Are less people dying now?
My family is from Madeira. I've heard it's the most beautiful place on the planet. Can't wait to visit!
And love to you & your beautiful people as well. Many Thanks to your country for turning what was broken into a brave, new approach & being a shining beacon for the rest of the world! Blessings!
I've went to Portugal as a kid. It's an amazing country with amazing people. Your forwad thinking is amazing. Junkies are not created or man made, we are addicts before we pick up a drug. It is having things in our lives before we start that needs to happen and the resources there if they'e not.
"The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, but connection" is the best takeaway.
The best speech👏👏
I have to admit that he's absolutely right. I am an addict and this is what I'm lacking. Deep connection and love.
Best wishes finding them soon!
been sober for 3 years , still remember listening to this in tears to encorage my self to quit from addiction :)
He has wings but we can’t see. I can feel that he is talking with his heart, emotions and mind.
His wings are called drugs.
Being shun by the people you trusted to be there is devastating.
People with addiction already feel alone in their problem. Publicly shaming someone will only make them detach further and longer into addiction. Compassion and understanding goes way further than treatment programs. Don't judge if you have no experience in it.
👏👏👏
Sorry, no, but if generic-you steals from me, abuses me, and then blames it on the addiction, I'm 100% justified in shunning you, because you are a danger to my safety and sanity, and because you've proven you cannot be trusted.
If you don't like that, well, don't steal from or abuse people and you won't have reason to be shunned.
Rehabs aren't a punishment. Most rehabs show love and compassion. Don't judge something u know nothing about
@@wmdkitty I'm an addict. Sober now. Your right. An addict has to take responsibility for their actions. I can't play the victim and blame my behavior on my addiction. Lack of empathy towards other people is what makes this social-psycho disease so repugnant.the flip side of the coin is that often others lack of empathy (parents,spouse, etc) is a factor in addiction in the first place..
@@joesnelson4041 You're right, im wrong. I'll let their low success rate speak for itself. Lol
This can be applied to almost anything. What we need is more love, not hate.
Best comment i have read in a loooooong time! Thx! I wish you all the best ;)
we need hate to give value to love.
Not hate, just tragedy...
if people wernt drawn together in a negative way then being draw together in a positive way wouldant be as magical do you see what I mean.
Yeah, like all the love that was shown during the Crack Epidemic.....
For me this story is 100% spot on. Because of my avoidance of living in my reality, my life, and not having reason and bonding with others. Nothing to get up for. I was an addict for 8 years. But when I changed that and rebuilt my connections with great people and family. I was able to step away from addiction without rehab.
Being threatened by family members and abused was the worst. One woman, a friend of the family, after hearing my family bash me because of my addiction and shun me, said this to them, “WHY ARENT YOU LOVING HER”? IT meant the world to me.
Cuz how do they know you won't use that love and their feelings of care for you against them just to enable your addiction trying to get what you want? There's something to factor in
@@Karma-zx8qe your stupid
Yeah I'm supposedly stupid when I'm merely stating the other side of the coin and 100% fact what is extremely common for addicts to like to do with the people who try to love and support them, exploit this and people's feelings of obligation love concern and guilt them otherwise.. I've dealt with many addicts in my life I know exactly what I'm talking about. Starting with my downtown Eastside Vancouver heroin junkie birth parents. And it's you're, not your... yeah and I'm the stupid one LOL Not.
@@Karma-zx8qe how could you possibly know anything if you yourself have never been an addict
I don't have to be an addict to know what kind of horrible things they do to people , cuz there's countless others experiences like mine being victimized exploited and taken advantage of manipulated and abused and also raped stolen off of etc by addicts.. because they're selfishness knows no bounds. Love an addict and they'll use those feelings against you to manipulate you to suck everything out of you. They don't care if they make you homeless like they did with me. They're capable of doing all the above. oh so you want to justify their lying thieving manipulating ways, they don't even care if they'll take your life savings from you, they don't care if they'll take your life from you, feed you drugs OD you .. addicts have zero conscience it doesn't stop them. have no conscience even if they do , theyre so out of control and dysfunctional it'll be the same end result .
..so really doesn't matter what the intentions are if the end results are always the same? Never trust them, or else they'll ruin your life just the way theirs is... misery loves company
"I love you whether you're using or your not, I love you whatever state you're in, and if you need me I'll come sit with you. Because I love you and I don't want you too be alone or too feel alone"
Beautiful words. Core-truth words. That's how intervention could work. Shouldn't be called "intervention", rather " Loving people better". Works on multiple levels.
What a wonderful world it would be if we all woke in the morning and read words like these words to our Self in the mirror.
I nearly cried when he said that. I have NEVER been told that. My current relationship is conditional entirely upon my addiction -- if I relapse, it's gone. He was in the room while I watched this. Oh, how nice it would be if people showed compassion and empathy to the people they love... But I suppose empathy requires complete selflessness, and we as humans are selfish creatures.
@@MissBlackMetal be the change 🦋
this is the most beautiful i have read in a long time
As a recovered addict of six years, and a student of psychology well into earning my bachelors, you are not wrong. This is exactly what happened and what worked for me, and it is research like this that made me choose my future career. Thank you so much! Please keep sharing this message ❤️
I agree with the big duck. What message?
This brought me to tears. It’s like the first time I’ve heard someone speak that gets me. Wish more people would take the time to try and understand addiction. It’s an act of desperation. So many ppl look at someone with substance abuse issues and assume m it’s something that lives inside you that will always make you more prone to addiction, regardless of other life factors.
wow. My perspective changed after watching Johann. He explained it all in a nut shell. Connection answers it all.
Totally awesome and so right on. As a former addict (clean 20+ years) I know this is the truth. NA even says it clearly “I can’t but WE can”.
I’ve been a weed addict for like 9 years and this is partly true. I did have a very caring mom who I had a great relationship with, had a grandma who I really love(d) and went to for dinner every week. Also had a good friend who I knew since childhood. Which means I had 3 strong connections. But on the other hand I suffered from depression and was in pain about other aspects/connections in my life. The most important thing is regulating your emotions. It’s even more important than connection. When you have a way of regulating anger, sadness, etc, then addiction is not worth continueing.
@@GinoNL yea but how much worse could it have been not having family or friends.
Jorel Byssainthe yeah, that would have made it much worse. I would have had less ways of letting out my emotions and feel valued because of the lack of connections
No it doesn’t answer it all! I see patients everyday with family and friends actively supporting them! There are a million factors at play. Google this guy! Do some research!
I was 12 when my parents told me if they ever found out I was on drugs they would cut me from the family. And at 35 and still in and out of active addiction, i still struggle with the shame and guilt of using. Being an addict is hard. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I still have hope that one day I will get and stay clean. This dude is a Don.
I cant quite imagine what its like to be addicted to a drug...
I think we are all able to overcome our addictions. I hope you can overcome this. I believe in you.
They shun what they do not know. They demonize the act to make it easier to treat people who have addictions like they are less. It's a selfish way to save themselves. It shows who is truly compassionate and who isn't. Love yourself. You are human. We all make mistakes. Speaking as someone who also struggles to become sober for more than 3 months at a time.
Sounds weird but anti-depressor can makes miracle when its time to stop doing drugs. Of course it doesnt do all the work, but in my case it helped a lot.
i understand what you mean completely but as someone who finally got a few days in a row, not only is it so worth it, there are so many people in sobriety that are literally just waiting to love you and care about you and wont shame you for anything. you are a good person and you deserve real happiness
Keep fighting bro, i feel you
Best TED talk in a long time:
Important topic
Well presented
Left with the need to tell eveyone i know about it
***** I agree. I have been disappointed with most TED talks in the last couple of years. And I think TED is not what it used to be.
*****
There has been a lot of crap yes, but still worth remaining subbed for the good ones.
***** Have you watched any Stefan Molyneux videos? If not, you might enjoy them. He covers a lot of this sort of stuff. He also interviewed Gabor Maté, who was mentioned by Johann Hari in this talk.
***** Are you counting TEDx talks too? The real TED talks are still good aren't they? TEDx on the other hand has always been vegans, feminists, and life coaches.
Dan Phillips
Yes, I am afraid I count TED talks exclusively. I started watching TED talks back in 2006 or something. It used to be interesting people doing interesting and important stuff speaking. Now, I can feel that it's the Facebook and Google generation doing things to get on something like the TED talks. Even the people speaking about charity and humanity aid seem to be overly self-promoting and not genuine enough. Maybe it's just me, I am left behind by the train of progress.
I wish I knew this guy!!! He could really save my life. I’ve been sober 3 years but I’m constantly stuck in my head and don’t feel comfortable around people
That just put tears in my eyes, "we shouldn't be singing war songs to addicts, we should be singing love songs" powerful statement 😊
Truthfully! Love you steph! Don’t know if you’re a drug addicted but I am a heroin addict and the message he conveys is very strong and truthful. When he said that exact thing you comments I got goosebumps, for it is true. There should be love songs not war songs
@@stephaniev6755 i think sometimes having the 6th sense in THIS society can add to an addiction. People don't believe in abilities, means they don't believe in you.
Love the addict as long as we could... just as GOD loves us and He gave Himself for our salvation.
@@helen.cabo.villanueva97 Amen🙏🏻
6:34 I like how he wrote on his hand just to remind himself about the points he wanted to cover. it's humanizing
Truly. I've written on my hand before. Notes to myself right there, don't have to fish a piece of paper out of my pocket.
Telling addicts you love them no matter what is so important. My best friend since childhood left me in my lowest times (I understand why she did - i was a nightmare) but it really sent me spiraling into a darker place. Being friends with an addict is tough - I am so grateful for the friends who stood by me. I live in Vancouver and they just decriminalized small quantities of drugs but that doesn't do anything in the long run - there needs to be a safe supply too. I hope we can adopt Portugal's system as well. This video was posted in a recovery discord I'm in and it's great. Very well done.
I love you 😊😊
Stop coddling dunks and drug users, they need tough love and consequences
@@swolfe9668 You haven't watched the video. The data is clear. We have been doing that
....and it doesn't work! Overdose and addiction is the highest it's EVER been in the US.
@@solar2000 because people feel sorry for themselves because life hasn't gone their way, so they CHOOSE to do drugs to numb their pain
First time I have ever heard something like this before. End of the video I had tears running down my face. Feeling alone is something I have been fighting/dealing with my whole life. My severe drug/alcohol addiction started when I was very young and I am now almost 100% sober after 20 years. The feeling you get wanting to indulge in those habits you need to stay away from will probably never go away, and the ‘alone’ factor has never and probably will never leave me either. This hit home for me and this kind of outlook is enlightening to say the least. Thank you for sharing.