I think 9:30 ish mark when Glen didn't want to elaborate on Evette having control over him, I can say from a Husband's perspective, having a wife that is "under the mission" means having her best interest in the decisions that are made for the household. I know that for me, I could make a bunch of decisions off the cuff without any regard for my family, but that would fracture that trust. So that is some level of control in the sense that a really good husband is already taking her thoughts into consideration. Maybe influence would be the better word.
Exactly. Submission is an act that both parties commit to. The word is given a negative connotation or stigma (in my opinion) due to sex practices such as dom and slave/sub culture. But because a relationship is based on two people agreeing to commit to each other submission is a SHARED act.
Great episode on love and leadership! Unhealthy, heavy-handed pressure, coercive behaviors, and actions are generally based in some form of fear and can be traumatic. On the flip side a healthy relationship based on mutual respect and love ideally is influential, empowering, and sacrificial. Yvette, thanks for highlighting the importance of Glen being a great follower and his submission to God, His Word, and others that influenced your decision to marry him😉🙂 Grateful you both keep saying YES to your relationship and commitment! 💍💒
Yvette, you don't realize the ever changing culture out here. I get what that sister is saying. We're running into a lot of men who DO want control. They are not looking for a partnership as if that is seen as being a weak man (simp) by other men. Some couldn't care less what we think of them. It's how they're viewed by other men. We should just be happy to have been "chosen" because they refuse to believe that a woman who says she's happy in her singleness is in her right mind. She needs his guidance, his taming.
Yikes! I'm sorry if that's the case. You're right. I guess I don't know much about the changing culture, but I do know some single guys who are nothing like you describe. ♥
As a single and a divorcee I can tell you it doesn’t matter what it looks like God hasn’t ran out of Kingdom minded men, his intent is to have us populate this earth have families and these kingdom men need wives don’t focus on what the world Is telling you
Now I understand why Yvette is controlling. It's an unconscious form of rebellion against her father's control, which is a thing I realize I'm also dealing with.
Glen said his goal is peace. Talking about Family goals before marriage and defining your definition of control helps. Yet, there is still no guarantee of a perfect relationship.
Love this conversation. I like that it is in line with the topic a few episodes ago about the generation before being more transparent with the generation after. The truth is that both parties are giving up autonomy and both parties are enabling another person to change the trajectory of your futures. Hopefully you are doing this on purpose. You are giving up autonomy to make space for someone to stretch your character in ways you can't see. You are relinquishing sole control of your trajectory so that the two of you can plot a joint path that is wider and more far reaching that you can imagine. This is why choosing well is so important. This may involve taking time to build confidence that you can trust the other person to protect your heart and your future in a way that is mutually beneficial. I was married a loong time ago and find it hard to relate, but best of luck to the single people out here man.
So I'm only 22 minutes in but I have some thoughts. I agree with what you guys are saying about marriage not being about controlling the other person or losing autonomy. At the same time, I don't think the woman who sent the email is wrong in her word choice. If you are in the wrong relationship, the husband most certainly can be controlling and the wife can lose autonomy. I've seen this happen often. I think the key is to choose your spouse wisely.
I want friends and I can’t stand the parts of service where they make us greet each other and then all throughout the sermon I’m high fiving my neighbor. I’m a super introvert and now I’ll be going off to the bathroom too during that time🤣
This was a loaded email but it made for an impactful episode. I feel her view of marriage is skewed. I can relate but because of the way I seen other people do relationships. I wanted my relationships to exude love & respect! To be healthy tho I saw few. I look at submission as way of showing respect! I would’ve no problem submitting to someone who is first submitted to God. Who knows how to lead and navigate. For the teacher question. I feel as you learn your spouse. You’re able to spot their limits, boiling points, capacity level, etc. To be able to say I don’t think it’s wise to do this now. Because you know that the decision would eventually drain them. Certain areas in their life, household, and marriage will begin to lack. Ultimately, if their not in the season to be fully committed. To this decision no matter how compassionate. They’re about the matter, it would just cause them to burn out.
Interesting take on how she viewed the conversation about Yvette wanting to assist the teacher. When I listened I totally understood both sides - Yvette wanting to help out the teacher and add to her plate; but she hadn’t considered the other parts that extra help would affect. Glen helped her to see this. He highlighted how she’s more qualified to be an assistant, the other commitments she’s got with the kids (which they’re both taking part in). I see if your perception about the husband in the marriage is more on the negative, it’s possible to have a whole different take on it
Lordt...had to comment right after the email! She is so right. Deep down in the deepest unseen crevices of my soul 😅 I desire a healthy romantic partnership. But at the surface guarded by rabid pitbulls relentless chihuahuas barbed wires and mountain high walls I REFUSE to try again. I recognize where I'm at fault and working on that daily but is there a man capable enough to hold that responsibility of trust and leadership for me, without taking advantage and leading me desolate?
@The Crystal Lockett I see this is a concern for you. I'm a Christian man who happens to be black. I don't know if your a believer in Christ, but I do want to say there are men that won't leave you desolate and take advantage of you in a negative way. Look for a man who follows Christ. Write out what are your values. Then ask questions when your dating. See if what they SAY matches up with their ACTIONS. Also people have a sin nature so we're prone to hurt each other, but you don't want a guy that's extremely rude. I hope this helps. God bless you 🙏🏿
I say this with love, but I think this person needs therapy. I say this as someone who is currently scrolling for therapists so I’m definitely not judging.
There is bad influence and good influence and it sounds like Glen has good influence and he is trying to communicate without hurting Yvettes feelings that her influence is not a good one! so control may not be what you like to hear but thats what it is.
Justice is getting what we deserve...mercy is not getting what we deserve...grace is getting what we don't deserve
💯
He took what we deserve, so that He could give us what we don’t deserve
I think 9:30 ish mark when Glen didn't want to elaborate on Evette having control over him, I can say from a Husband's perspective, having a wife that is "under the mission" means having her best interest in the decisions that are made for the household. I know that for me, I could make a bunch of decisions off the cuff without any regard for my family, but that would fracture that trust. So that is some level of control in the sense that a really good husband is already taking her thoughts into consideration.
Maybe influence would be the better word.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 This is true leadership that makes trust and submission so easy and without hesitation or regret.
Submission is not about power, for me it involves respect, compromise and consideration.
Then both people do it???
Exactly. Submission is an act that both parties commit to. The word is given a negative connotation or stigma (in my opinion) due to sex practices such as dom and slave/sub culture. But because a relationship is based on two people agreeing to commit to each other submission is a SHARED act.
Nowadays I come on here for the comedy - " a bicycle going downhill with no rider..."🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂 love it
😂😂
Between his comments and her responses 🤣🤣
Me too 😂😂
Encouragement: this podcast is helping!
Great episode on love and leadership! Unhealthy, heavy-handed pressure, coercive behaviors, and actions are generally based in some form of fear and can be traumatic.
On the flip side a healthy relationship based on mutual respect and love ideally is influential, empowering, and sacrificial.
Yvette, thanks for highlighting the importance of Glen being a great follower and his submission to God, His Word, and others that influenced your decision to marry him😉🙂 Grateful you both keep saying YES to your relationship and commitment! 💍💒
Yvette, you don't realize the ever changing culture out here. I get what that sister is saying. We're running into a lot of men who DO want control. They are not looking for a partnership as if that is seen as being a weak man (simp) by other men. Some couldn't care less what we think of them. It's how they're viewed by other men. We should just be happy to have been "chosen" because they refuse to believe that a woman who says she's happy in her singleness is in her right mind. She needs his guidance, his taming.
Yikes! I'm sorry if that's the case. You're right. I guess I don't know much about the changing culture, but I do know some single guys who are nothing like you describe. ♥
As a single and a divorcee I can tell you it doesn’t matter what it looks like God hasn’t ran out of Kingdom minded men, his intent is to have us populate this earth have families and these kingdom men need wives don’t focus on what the world Is telling you
Now I understand why Yvette is controlling. It's an unconscious form of rebellion against her father's control, which is a thing I realize I'm also dealing with.
Glen said his goal is peace. Talking about Family goals before marriage and defining your definition of control helps. Yet, there is still no guarantee of a perfect relationship.
Love this conversation. I like that it is in line with the topic a few episodes ago about the generation before being more transparent with the generation after. The truth is that both parties are giving up autonomy and both parties are enabling another person to change the trajectory of your futures. Hopefully you are doing this on purpose. You are giving up autonomy to make space for someone to stretch your character in ways you can't see. You are relinquishing sole control of your trajectory so that the two of you can plot a joint path that is wider and more far reaching that you can imagine. This is why choosing well is so important. This may involve taking time to build confidence that you can trust the other person to protect your heart and your future in a way that is mutually beneficial. I was married a loong time ago and find it hard to relate, but best of luck to the single people out here man.
So I'm only 22 minutes in but I have some thoughts. I agree with what you guys are saying about marriage not being about controlling the other person or losing autonomy. At the same time, I don't think the woman who sent the email is wrong in her word choice. If you are in the wrong relationship, the husband most certainly can be controlling and the wife can lose autonomy. I've seen this happen often. I think the key is to choose your spouse wisely.
I want friends and I can’t stand the parts of service where they make us greet each other and then all throughout the sermon I’m high fiving my neighbor. I’m a super introvert and now I’ll be going off to the bathroom too during that time🤣
LOVE the bathroom idea!
Lmaooo 😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Just wanted to take a moment to say how happy I am that HMAY is back. I love you guys and your perspectives. Thanks for sharing yourselves with us!
I have followed beleaf in fatherhood for a while! But this podcast has been such a blessing to me. I’m like why didn’t tune in sooner. Love y’all!!
“Get Down or Law Down” 😂😂… Brotha Beleaf is Hilarious! Truly have died to your flesh!!
I really enjoyed this.. First time watching the podcast.
Great input....
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It's called "influence".I know I have influence in/ over my husband and vice versa...... still listening
Checking in from the DMV.
Just subscribed! Enjoyed this episode. Keep them coming!
Yay! Welcome to the Wedding Party!
This was a loaded email but it made for an impactful episode. I feel her view of marriage is skewed. I can relate but because of the way I seen other people do relationships. I wanted my relationships to exude love & respect! To be healthy tho I saw few. I look at submission as way of showing respect! I would’ve no problem submitting to someone who is first submitted to God. Who knows how to lead and navigate. For the teacher question. I feel as you learn your spouse. You’re able to spot their limits, boiling points, capacity level, etc. To be able to say I don’t think it’s wise to do this now. Because you know that the decision would eventually drain them. Certain areas in their life, household, and marriage will begin to lack. Ultimately, if their not in the season to be fully committed. To this decision no matter how compassionate. They’re about the matter, it would just cause them to burn out.
Yvette, loved your answers especially.
Interesting take on how she viewed the conversation about Yvette wanting to assist the teacher. When I listened I totally understood both sides - Yvette wanting to help out the teacher and add to her plate; but she hadn’t considered the other parts that extra help would affect. Glen helped her to see this. He highlighted how she’s more qualified to be an assistant, the other commitments she’s got with the kids (which they’re both taking part in).
I see if your perception about the husband in the marriage is more on the negative, it’s possible to have a whole different take on it
Great episode!
Speaking volumes!
Yeah @ bad doctrine around 26:00. We can't presume how people were raised. Kudos to you guys for setting a baseline by giving her the course!
First of all - loving this comment section❤ Second of all - could y’all get any cuter?!😂❤
🥰🥰🥰
Lordt...had to comment right after the email! She is so right. Deep down in the deepest unseen crevices of my soul 😅 I desire a healthy romantic partnership. But at the surface guarded by rabid pitbulls relentless chihuahuas barbed wires and mountain high walls I REFUSE to try again.
I recognize where I'm at fault and working on that daily but is there a man capable enough to hold that responsibility of trust and leadership for me, without taking advantage and leading me desolate?
@The Crystal Lockett I see this is a concern for you. I'm a Christian man who happens to be black. I don't know if your a believer in Christ, but I do want to say there are men that won't leave you desolate and take advantage of you in a negative way. Look for a man who follows Christ. Write out what are your values. Then ask questions when your dating. See if what they SAY matches up with their ACTIONS.
Also people have a sin nature so we're prone to hurt each other, but you don't want a guy that's extremely rude. I hope this helps. God bless you 🙏🏿
@@Jerma-O I just want you to know that you just preached a sermon. Thank you for this comment.
Become the person you want to be with and BELIEVE that you are worthy and God will send him right to you
43:51 lol why did I immediately think about the office
Because Glen watches the office all the time, and probably was referencing them on purpose. lol
I was thinking the same thing. Not getting the punishment you deserve
This girl needs an in person intervention... And sad that this email is the story of so many women & men!
I say this with love, but I think this person needs therapy. I say this as someone who is currently scrolling for therapists so I’m definitely not judging.
"I have a longer leash"😂😂
😂
I love this ❤❤❤
The banana 🍌 part story 💀😂😂
There is bad influence and good influence and it sounds like Glen has good influence and he is trying to communicate without hurting Yvettes feelings that her influence is not a good one! so control may not be what you like to hear but thats what it is.
Yuu told her she was not having more kids