The Importance of Vulnerability

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  • Опубліковано 17 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 593

  • @rea8585
    @rea8585 7 років тому +813

    Being vulnerable often means being strong, because in order to be strong you have to know where your weakness is and not ignore it or hide it. By knowing and exposing your weakness and being vulnerable you can at least control it instead of being randomly shot by someone else.

    • @lucasgundi
      @lucasgundi 7 років тому +26

      Quick Fix i dont think its about any defense mechanism, but just the opposite: you dont show yourself as you truly are, flaws and stupidities included, just so other people wont expose them before you do. You just do it as a means to your very own inner freedom; not having to hide all the time, to fight all the time..

    • @antonellodaburrano2590
      @antonellodaburrano2590 7 років тому +2

      Also the school of life keeps targeting failed adults. Hoped they had change. More luck next month I guess ...

    • @BigTTown502
      @BigTTown502 7 років тому +3

      Antonello Da Burrano lol it's Friday...relax

    • @DjJooze
      @DjJooze 7 років тому

      Quick Fix whats ur name?

    • @bolivar1789
      @bolivar1789 7 років тому +1

      +Quick Fix
      Very well said! Thank you. In the end it all comes down to what Sokrates said:
      " Know thyself". I also highly recommend everyone Brene Brown's wonderful TED Talk " The Power if Vulnerability" and her book on the subject, " Daring Greatly".

  • @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446
    @mephistophelesthesilentchi3446 7 років тому +978

    But of course, some people just aren't worth being vulnerable with...

    • @djchonny
      @djchonny 7 років тому +89

      mephistopheles the silent chief Yes, most people I would say. They are going to spread your weakness like fresh baked bread. Be wise, there is a jungle out there...

    • @stefangaftonianu5052
      @stefangaftonianu5052 7 років тому +12

      SunTzu So true.....I fell the presure in Society

    • @GoldenBearBecca
      @GoldenBearBecca 7 років тому +63

      I noticed that my mom sees vulnerability as weakness. I don't understand that. Aren't we all weak though? There are more people with flaws than people who are 100% put together. Those who find the weaknesses in others just don't do much self reflection imo, so they feel they are strong and don't care to notice their flaws. Or at least that's how it seems to me.

    • @djchonny
      @djchonny 7 років тому +31

      Edit Name Yes, it is way easier to critique other's flaws than looking at the mirror and see our true self.

    • @harpiesd96
      @harpiesd96 7 років тому +9

      You okay man?

  • @bolivar1789
    @bolivar1789 7 років тому +113

    1. The only way we can truly connect with someone is by taking risks . If a friend tells me that he has trouble sleeping, I can tell him that for the longest time I was having nightmares almost every night , it got a bit better, but that's how I know what insomnia means. Well, then he may think that I must be a real weirdo. But he may also take it as an "invitation" for us to engage in a real conversation where we could go deeper into the subject.
    Deeper often means "darker and more complex". But still, because you two make the effort to get there together, in that moment you are really LIVING through something. That's what "feeling connected" means.
    No matter how sad the subject is, you will come out of such a conversation with a sense of serenity and it will be a " good memory" because you have truly shared something.
    I love this quote by Theodore Zeldin:
    " The kind of conversation I am interested in is one which you start with a willingness to emerge a slightly different person. It is always an experiment, whose results are never guaranteed. It involves risk. It 's an adventure in which we agree to cook the world together and make it taste less bitter".
    2. We usually try to impress the other, in the hope of being loved . But indeed boasting about yourself is not being impressive, it is being "intimidating". We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Something that came to you very easily in life can be incredibly difficult to reach for another person. So by pointing THAT out, you are emphasising what " separates" you from that person.
    What is the sense of this??
    3. There is a wonderful, wonderful tale by Oscar Wilde called " The Remarkable Rocket". You can read the tale or watch the animation . It is on you tube. Well, in fact, the most remarkable thing about that rocket is that the more it boasts, the more it sinks into the mud!
    Comedian Sarah Jones uses a wonderful term, describing the darker side of the social media, forcing us to show a happy face all the time. She says it is a culture of " compare and despair".
    If you want to think more about this, there is an episode of the excellent podcast "Hidden Brain", called " Schadenfacebook".
    4. This video does not suggest that we must always talk about our problems. Being a " me, me, me" type of person is really something else.
    It is another thing to "dare" to open up about the challenges you are facing right now, hoping that the other person could also learn something from what you are going through. Because indeed, anything can happen to any of us anytime.
    I guess it was Seneca who said that "a ship may also sink at the port"..
    5. And don't miss the wonderful TED Talk " The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene Brown. Her book on the subject, " Daring Greatly" is also very helpful.
    Thanks a lot for this very valuable lesson. I loved the animation too.

    • @vinnicole240
      @vinnicole240 6 років тому +2

      thank u

    • @nahomededeya7286
      @nahomededeya7286 3 роки тому +3

      This is very helpful, glad you took the time to write it all😁

    • @bolivar1789
      @bolivar1789 3 роки тому +1

      @@nahomededeya7286 Hello Nahom! You are most welcome. Thanks a lot for your time :-)

    • @bolivar1789
      @bolivar1789 3 роки тому +1

      @@vinnicole240 Hello Nicole! You are very welcome! Thank you for your time

    • @juliussitohang3058
      @juliussitohang3058 3 роки тому +2

      This is very kind, thank you very much

  • @PursuitofWonder
    @PursuitofWonder 7 років тому +275

    Really enjoyed this! I find it interesting how closely related confidence and vulnerability are to one another. You really can't have one without the other.

    • @seanaceleecabeso407
      @seanaceleecabeso407 3 роки тому +7

      nice to see you here 😃

    • @krishnayadav-yc2zv
      @krishnayadav-yc2zv 3 роки тому +8

      how has your like bar and comment section not blown up yet?

    • @CameronWoods-xe5wg
      @CameronWoods-xe5wg 9 місяців тому

      Vulnerability literally means weakness by definition. Hate is strength. Real men only feel hate.

    • @ajpisharodi
      @ajpisharodi 22 дні тому

      This was the comment I needed to see all year!

    • @ajpisharodi
      @ajpisharodi 22 дні тому

      ​@CameronWoods-xe5wg you have a very silly mindset. I pray you grow out of it.

  • @PersonalPower
    @PersonalPower 7 років тому +569

    vulnerability is a two edged sword. Revealing it can help but also hurt us. Finding balance is a hard thing, but the extremes are rather hurtful for us and others. thanks for sharing this video! I wish I could make different animations for each video!

    • @PersonalPower
      @PersonalPower 7 років тому

      Im glad you like it!

    • @abfc374
      @abfc374 7 років тому +13

      If you show vulnerability just because, yes it is a bad thing. If you own it however. It can not fail you.

    • @misspou5242
      @misspou5242 7 років тому

      I just poop all over vulnerability because I ain't got nothing better to do.

    • @DavidTitus_
      @DavidTitus_ 7 років тому +2

      Though when you are hurt you can learn to let go of old emotions and learning to love yourself anyways.

    • @willowwhisper6575
      @willowwhisper6575 7 років тому +10

      Personal Power It depends to whom you open yourself to. I have never, EVER judged or attacked someone when they have opened their hearts to me. On the contrary, it's a beautiful bonding experience and a huge display of mutual trust, they are certain that I'm there for them and they are also there for me :)

  • @con_m_computerscience1545
    @con_m_computerscience1545 4 роки тому +17

    When you are not happy with yourself or have strong shame or guilt you have a difficult time being vulnerable because you are hiding something whatever it is. This is bad because it seeps into many aspects of your life especially socially it becomes very apparent in body language and eye contact as well as your personality around others. Because your fearful of someone figuring out or seeing you for who you “really are” you shut down and can’t make a proper connection with someone because of your inability to be vulnerable. It is best to take on whatever it is that’s making you shut down (and if you search deep you’ll know what it is) and face that situation head on weather it means radical action to fix whatever it is or full and 100% acceptance of the reality of whatever happened and how in the current reality of things you can’t do anything about it. This is an important step in becoming more vulnerable and greatly improving your life. Thx for reading and god bless 🙏🏻

  • @Pur3AGL
    @Pur3AGL 7 років тому +19

    I'm a very different person from who I was five years ago. A better person. I was scared of vulnerability before. I felt as though I was placing my emotional stability and happiness in the hands of others by being vulnerable. These days, I've found that I feel more in control of my life and my emotions than I ever have, and I believe it's largely due to my willingness to be vulnerable; my ability to be honest with others, and honest with myself, about who I am and how I feel. I'm proud of that. (:

  • @banisan2035
    @banisan2035 7 років тому +27

    I needed this.
    Currently, I feel like I'm just being a bother to someone I considered a really close friend. I was always afraid of speaking up about it. I didn't want to bother her with me thinking I might be a bother, if that makes sense.
    But I believe that's what makes human relationships sincere and strong, the ability to be vulnerable and honest about your fears and hurts.

  • @Coolkeldon
    @Coolkeldon 7 років тому +277

    Only when you share your fears and weakness can other people truly love you, and I mean any kind of love. How could they love you if you don't let them get to know you?

    • @muqeetumer975
      @muqeetumer975 4 роки тому +12

      it doesn't necessarily mean to share everything you have, there are actions and feelings that make you feel vulnerable you have to be honest with you feelings, accept it be bold about it (like i had to be with my emotions to right this text)

    • @lucillesoriano5257
      @lucillesoriano5257 4 роки тому +8

      But how would you do it if you have difficulty trusting other people?

    • @ImpeRiaLismus
      @ImpeRiaLismus 3 роки тому

      But what if there are no real fears and just minor insignificant weaknesses? Does that mean nobody can truly love me because they think I'm hiding something?
      To me fear in most cases is extremely irrational. I would feel fear when somebody is about to behead me or torture me. This is when fear comes into place for me. What's the point of sharing that fictional fear that would probably never happen?

    • @BlueSkyCountry
      @BlueSkyCountry Місяць тому

      Some people just function better better concrete walls, in isolation and with no social participation at all. I am a "functional hikikomori". I work in the heavy trades, by myself often in flooded and hazardous utility shafts and I like it that way. When I am not working I make no effort to interact with anyone.

  • @folasko5120
    @folasko5120 7 років тому +60

    This breaks my heart a little bit. I had friendships that I hoped would work out when I showed my own vulnerability.

    • @Clemsterful
      @Clemsterful 5 років тому +3

      same, mine backfired

    • @marvinschenker2860
      @marvinschenker2860 4 роки тому +8

      another reason why listening empathicly without jugdement is a good skill for making friends :)

  • @GeekyMino
    @GeekyMino 7 років тому +12

    I show my weaknesses and vulnerabilities only to people I completely trust. That way I know that even if they hurt me with their words they have no bad intentions. It’s a great way to connect with others on a very deep level if both are open and not afraid to reveal our biggest insecurities. Very unique video style!

    • @ourmuse
      @ourmuse 6 місяців тому +1

      love this comment

  • @anewloveofficial9137
    @anewloveofficial9137 6 років тому +3

    I admit that I am a vulnerable kind of person and I won't shy about it because it's what makes me a real person. There are people who try to underestimate me but they didn't know that being vulnerable makes me become a strong person at the same time. Don't be afraid being vulnerable because it's also showing empathy to other people.

  • @octane2344
    @octane2344 7 років тому +11

    Knowing how to share your vulnerability is a key aspect to confidence. Such as having one or two safe people to share your vulnerabilities with. But also doing it from the point of view of accepting that vulnerability as a stepping stone to growing as a stronger person.

  • @hamzasaleem3897
    @hamzasaleem3897 7 років тому +3

    Vulnerability is truly a gift for us , it is a fixed part of our human structure, and by contemplating that , we realize that even the brightest and the wittiest and the most powerful man that have lived, all of whom had vulnerable sides, all of them had their fears ,doubts and insecurities , all of them suffered, and all have lived in the same mortal coils of tissues that aches and bleeds ( our bodies ).
    So vulnerability is truly a common ground for us all that's worth respect and appreciation.

  • @rain0344
    @rain0344 6 років тому +22

    "We are strong enough to be weak". Oh boy this is one of my biggest challenges, because I've always associated vulnerability to being weak /incapable of and I hate to portray that image, so I always put a wall to protect my ego, I guess.

  • @dochmbi
    @dochmbi 7 років тому +32

    Yeah, being vulnerable and honest can be deeply seductive as well, because it shows that you can trust that person. Trust and excitement are the two elements you need for a good date.

    • @CameronWoods-xe5wg
      @CameronWoods-xe5wg 9 місяців тому

      Vulnerability literally means weakness by definition as in "to exploit". Hate is strength. Real men only feel hate.

    • @Jozsef0rsos
      @Jozsef0rsos 4 місяці тому

      ​@@CameronWoods-xe5wg The sarcasm you have is quite strong

  • @sckiw005
    @sckiw005 Рік тому +1

    Shortly before watching this I got the sting of shame from expressing myself but this just proves how much understanding we need to give ourselves

  • @mau345
    @mau345 6 років тому +13

    “Vulnerability is both a risk and a gift that is taken by somebody else”

  • @leab4638
    @leab4638 7 років тому +2

    This is so important. I talked about this with my parents the other day and we totally agree with your opinion👏🏼 to gain respect you have to show vulnerability. In this modern world where most people want to have success we neglect our humanity and swollow our vulnerability. We all want to appear strong but the strongest are those who let themselves be vulnerable and emotional. So keep crying publicly guys✌🏼

  • @thejazzguy2812
    @thejazzguy2812 7 років тому +36

    "We are strong enought to be weak" thats something good to remind ourselves in bad situations

  • @annatheres3
    @annatheres3 7 років тому +117

    These videos are always so relevant to what's going on in my life.

    • @sebastianelytron8450
      @sebastianelytron8450 7 років тому

      +Anna Bautista 2.8 Million subscribers... there has to be someone somewhere, you know?

    • @6_6740
      @6_6740 7 років тому

      Sebastian Elytron Good point

    • @kingofeverything2159
      @kingofeverything2159 7 років тому

      then do something about it :)

    • @bolivar1789
      @bolivar1789 7 років тому

      Hi Sebastian, they have a School of Life app too.

  • @yo-ma7701
    @yo-ma7701 3 роки тому +1

    being vulnerable that one of my new goals.

  • @filesender6787
    @filesender6787 5 років тому +4

    About my vulnerability and emotions,
    I'm someone who don't really hide what I'm feeling. If I'm sad, I dont deny it. If I'm angry, I also dont deny it.
    I'm a woman so I'm not pressured to act macho, that's why its easy for me to show my softness.
    I dont also act tough in a specific situation if im really not. I also dont pretend to be weak or sad if im not. I just simply dont deny whatever i feel. My tears are also shallow.
    Some people think im cold and independent. But im not cold, just emotionally independent
    I don't believe that love is naturally pain. Pain is our best friend. Just like when we're feeling pain in our body, it just honestly tells us that there's imbalance in our system that must be fixed before it gets worse.
    Also, even if love is blind, its not an excuse to stop thinking and stop making wiser decisions in life. It's also not an excuse to not love yourself.
    Like love yourself but not in a narcissistic way.
    I believe that life isn't all about learning "what is love" really is. For me, its about achieving enlightenment about love and our emotions and balance.
    Just like our bodies are in their perfect state when they're in perfect balance. Its always trying to achieve homeostasis, that's what it always seeks,, that's always its goal.
    My other self might have a different personality than mine. Maybe he's more social, loves being around people or etc.. i dont know... Because me, im really introvert and contented even when im alone. but i dont have problem being around people, i enjoy that too.
    And I really hope that my other self is enjoying his life wherever he is, maybe its in the underworld or something, im not sure.. But just for him to know, I also want to be his friend but only if its possible, i mean, no pressure about that.. its just that im just really not that enlightened about the/his whole situation and what will actually happen.. but its ok, no need to say anything if he really cant..no pressure about that
    I surrender if i think that that's the right thing to do. I dont fight for every thing. Although I still fight or stand for things that i think are really important.
    I also apologize if i think there's something to apologize for. Some people are not like that and i think that's cool as well.
    About the limelight, im pretty neutral about that. I'm ok w/ that but im also ok if not.
    I'm really soft when it comes to those people who get my sympathy. I would rather be friends w/ someone who's being bullied rather than be friends with those who are popular but bullies bec. i dont like those kind of people.
    Im also cold and hard for those people who are abusive like some of my relatives or neighbors.
    I dont like playing with people's feelings. I may be a little joker but that's all. I may be confusing but only if you dont ask me questions. I don't like deceiving people
    I'm a little frank sometimes but sometimes, i feel worried that i might have hurt them

  • @BronzDano
    @BronzDano 7 років тому +1

    The most soothing voice on UA-cam.

  • @rachelle2227
    @rachelle2227 7 років тому +171

    Unless they’re my family (Mom, Dad, or sister), I find I can only really be vulnerable with people I can detect are like minded to me. I’d like to hint at some of my struggles with other people, but I know I can’t.

    • @angellacanfora
      @angellacanfora 7 років тому +13

      Well, you just opened up to the world here so you're off to a good start!

    • @rachelle2227
      @rachelle2227 7 років тому +4

      Angel La Canfora Well I could easily open up more, but I just don’t want to come off as condescending. I’m quite easily able to open up online actually, but it’s tricky ensuring that people don’t think I’m being condescending.

    • @True38
      @True38 7 років тому +14

      You can never expect people to project you the way that you want them to project you. And if you care about what other people think, you are a prisoner in their minds for ever. As long as you have the right intentions in your message and what you do, nothing else matters. You can act confidently and be the way you like no matter what. Remember, it's all about YOUR INTENTIONS not your appearance or approach to others. If you mean well, then that's what it is.

    • @spookeymo
      @spookeymo 7 років тому +1

      rachelle2227 i dont understand, how would it be condescending?

    • @coreycox2345
      @coreycox2345 7 років тому +9

      I spilled my guts to a random stranger on the internet. I may never know who this person is, but as a result, I have quit smoking weed and lost fifteen pounds and started to think of more positive channels for my energy. I have written much of my life on the internet, thinking of it as even more anonymous (so safer) than my actual family. I have no regrets, even if (in retrospect) the person was a manipulative nutbar.

  • @urbanwzrd
    @urbanwzrd 7 років тому +9

    This is my problem with friends and coworkers. I let go just enough without showing any vulnerabilities or weaknesses. It's a good way to get through the day and function like a normal looking human being, but I feel like I lack those really deep relationships with others.

  • @dfruitziga2543
    @dfruitziga2543 7 років тому +2

    thanks for this video. i'm crying inside. i always do, not in the moment when someone do anything unjust to me, but when someone finally understands me.
    yea i know i sound like nonsense.. my mind is in a chaos now

  • @elliesteele2342
    @elliesteele2342 7 років тому +1

    Brilliant. We need WAY more of this type of content kicking around our world. I noticed someone mentioned Brene Brown and her Ted Talk on the Power of Vulnerability as well as her new booking Daring Greatly..I HIGHLY recommend those as well. It's time for all of us to learn the difference between expressing healthy vulnerability to show our humanity versus being demanding, needy and weak. Expressing vulnerability without expecting people to understand, empathise or help is essential right now since we're just starting to take our first steps with this new way of being and evolving as humans. Being able to express it, without expectations and knowing that some will try to take advantage of us or perceive us as weak is part of the equation. There are bound to be growing pains.

  • @selfdribblingbasketball9769
    @selfdribblingbasketball9769 7 років тому +460

    Those squishy noises where funny

  • @itsyouhannah1654
    @itsyouhannah1654 4 роки тому +5

    People always use my vulnerability against me and usually run away when I tell them. This is why I put on a front and don’t show my feelings. Why are people so cruel??

  • @coreycox2345
    @coreycox2345 7 років тому +6

    I apologise for calling you a nutbar. This video on vulnerability hit me on a bad day. I allowed myself to be vulnerable to someone for the second time. Both times, he has immediately done an about face from his previous position and turned into a sadistic creep. The odd sequence that has included listening to your excellent videos and pondering them pushed me to accept this person. You did not invent this, but often the school of life is the school of hard knocks. Never again. That and the fact that I am going to a psychiatrist for an Asperger's evaluation tomorrow leaves me feeling dangerously vulnerable. This could be good, or it could mess up my life in a big way. I should not have projected my negative thoughts onto the school of life, as you have been helpful to me. The way that this video hit me left you vulnerable to my annoyance. I apologise and thank you for the wisdom I have gotten from all this.

  • @jerrie1533
    @jerrie1533 7 років тому +580

    2:50 Instructions unclear: I attempted to pull out a puzzle piece from my chest, but I ended up pulling out a lung

    • @jerrie1533
      @jerrie1533 7 років тому +34

      Update: They also don't explain that after you attempt to do so, you'll be bleeding, a lot.

    • @sammyscarlet5228
      @sammyscarlet5228 7 років тому +7

      Jerrie the claun I love you for this

    • @SanMartianRover
      @SanMartianRover 7 років тому +17

      Your mistake has endeared me to you.

    • @misspou5242
      @misspou5242 7 років тому +3

      Why is everybody so funny 😂😂😂

    • @ccSkydog
      @ccSkydog 7 років тому +1

      Jerrie the claun if you hit the pancreas...you went too far.

  • @linlomox
    @linlomox 5 років тому +6

    I think the biggest issue with vulnerability is when you choose to be vulnerable with someone and get completely turned down, ignored or invalidated. We all want to show our vulnerability with the ones we love, but some of us just get missdirected from life experience on with whom and when to do it.

    • @dumfriesspearhead7398
      @dumfriesspearhead7398 5 років тому +1

      This is so true.
      I've been vulnerable with people who couldn't cope with it and reacted badly.
      In retrospect I shouldn't have spoken to them in that way.
      I went to a butcher to buy bread. Bad move.

  • @tateisunapologeticallyinsa1229
    @tateisunapologeticallyinsa1229 4 роки тому +4

    I want to become more vulnerable for the new years. I tried being vulnerable for like five minutes and I cried-

  • @solus5635
    @solus5635 6 років тому +2

    This hit a little close to home. I’m in a very competitive environment so showing vulnerability would be like shooting yourself in the foot. At the same time I can’t say I truly know any of my friends. We are just strangers forced together by circumstance...
    And don’t get me started on the prospect of love without showing vulnerability. That will forever be a source of anxiety and failure for me. But who knows, maybe some day I’ll get it right...

  • @xoannguyen246
    @xoannguyen246 3 роки тому +2

    “strong enough to be weak.” that’s wise

  • @OMIMmusic
    @OMIMmusic 7 років тому

    For showing vulnerability set and setting are most vital!
    Thank you so much for this video. It truly is helpful and I wish much more people could watch and understand.
    ❤️

  • @stonywilliams
    @stonywilliams 7 років тому

    This is one of the best and most important UA-cam channels there are. Thanx ppl. You rock!!!

  • @RobertEstrella
    @RobertEstrella 7 років тому +1

    Vulnerability is the only way that we will ever be known and forge true connections. Unfortunately, most people don't understand this or choose to reject it and so we remain feeling alone and miserable throughout life. I've longed for, and tasted the kind of connection being mutually vulnerable with somebody affords....there's simply no substitute. "And I am you, and what I see is me."

  • @christhomas4009
    @christhomas4009 7 років тому

    The dignified sharing of vulnerability that true friendship can arise...
    WE LOVE BRINGING YOU THESE FILMS
    Nice audio :)

  • @esraisttoll2575
    @esraisttoll2575 7 років тому +67

    Love the artstyle

  • @pomegranateemporium
    @pomegranateemporium 6 років тому

    I love this narrator's voice. He's like my calm place voice. I love you Mr narrator. 👍🏽

  • @brokepapa3007
    @brokepapa3007 7 років тому +2

    I think the producer may be projecting just a bit. Many good points, peppered with what seems situation specific occurrences (i.e. being mean to loved ones; That's a choice not a state of being.)
    Take responsibility for yourself. Take control of your own life. Take back our homeworld.

  • @Haesslicherblaubarsch
    @Haesslicherblaubarsch 7 років тому

    I was almost too distracted by the amazing and funny animations to listen to the important message of the video. Both truly speak to me

  • @maxwang8270
    @maxwang8270 7 років тому +1

    This is such a beautiful message.

  • @NikolaJokicFan2
    @NikolaJokicFan2 7 років тому +1

    This is such an educated view on emotions.
    And I love it this way👍

  • @Thomas_Winters
    @Thomas_Winters 5 років тому +2

    I tried being vulnerable but when I tried I found that I really just don't know how. A lot of people just don't care. So I stopped trying to talk to people about my personal stuff. I don't know how to do it without sounding depressed.
    I also don't know how to relate to people. They open up to me and for some reason my brain had forgotten 70% of what they told me.

  • @101Rouge
    @101Rouge 7 років тому +4

    If I expose my weakness my enemies will know where to strike me.

  • @Hyperions92
    @Hyperions92 7 років тому +85

    I struggle with this everyday. I am in a GREAT relationship with a girl that I truly love. My biggest problem is I have alot of baggage from past toxic relationships. I have trust issues that is really negatively effecting my relationship with my girlfriend. Most of these issues stem from negative thoughts in my head that I choose to believe and let effect me. I'm afraid if I become vulnerable, I will just end up getting hurt again. I don't know what to do. Should I stay with her and learn to trust again? Or do I need to be alone for a while and get myself together?

    • @Kurotixy
      @Kurotixy 7 років тому +12

      Stay with her and learn to trust again. You may not get a second chance if you decide to take a break with her. I wish you luck

    • @stephfromnj
      @stephfromnj 6 років тому

      I took time to be myself to get my stuff together and now my ex boyfriend is visiting a girl to see if he may love her or not. Stay with your girlfriend and learn how to trust.

    • @bi_wendt
      @bi_wendt 6 років тому +5

      I think it's easier to get better with someone who loves you by your side!

    • @nickbuis3307
      @nickbuis3307 6 років тому +2

      Brian Tobias I know exactly how you feel. I regret many of my past choices and the baggage is heavy and undue to my girlfriend. It sucks.

    • @josephmueller3752
      @josephmueller3752 6 років тому +2

      Just be good looking and everything will solve

  • @LivingParadox87
    @LivingParadox87 6 років тому

    I had to watch this twice because the first time I was laughing too much at the animation and sounds lol. Some people are complaining that it was distracting, but honestly, I really needed that uplifting element.

  • @indridcold8433
    @indridcold8433 4 роки тому +1

    I am as vulnerable as anybody can be. But I realise this. In order to remedy this uncureable vulnerability I simply stopped being social. I have had no friends nor a girlfriend since 2000. However, it is impossible for anybody to take advantage of me, use, betray, or painfully abandon me again if I do not let anybody into my life. I learned my lesson. People as vulnerable as me should never allow anybody into their lives. By deleting everyone from my life, I have made it impossible for anybody to ever hurt me again. The loneliness is far worth the security and other benefits gained by social isolation.

    • @thebluerock6048
      @thebluerock6048 3 роки тому

      Hmmm loneliness is better than taking advantage of? Yea true but you don’t have to be lonely or vulnerable

    • @indridcold8433
      @indridcold8433 3 роки тому +1

      @@thebluerock6048 This path is far less confusing and safer than the alternative. I have little success in diciphering the true intent of humans. Knowing my limitations, I simplified the situation by keeping a very well defined distance from human herds and from situations requiring interpersonal, social, exchanges. I have found great success in running a script that mimics the interactions of a client with a merchant or service provider during a business exchange. If unavoidable and someone addresses me, I assume the role followed by the merchant or service provider. The other participant is assigned the role of the client. I follow the script closely until a close to the unwanted conversation is facilitated. Must I have to address someone, it is already for the purposes of a business exchange. Thus, I assume the role of the client and assign the other participant the role of the merchant or service provider. 99% of the time, that truly is the situation. This makes the script I run even more successful than if someone addresses me. The only time I engage in bidirectional exchanges where I do not run the client and merchant script, it is here in this semi-anonymous UA-cam rant. Here, I am unknown, save for my name. There is no possibility of being used, betrayed, nor painfully abandoned, here. It is not a real world setting. I am told that my written communication sounds rather robotic. But, I am understood. That is satisfactory enough.

    • @thebluerock6048
      @thebluerock6048 3 роки тому

      @@indridcold8433 humans are unpredictable but what if you set a boundary/warning? Or what if you just remain a mystery instead of sharing your personal experiences? What about love? I’ve been hurt by ones I thought were my friends but it’s helping me learn in a way, the experience. I learned to that you can’t pay someone to not flip on you.

    • @indridcold8433
      @indridcold8433 3 роки тому +1

      @@thebluerock6048 I value safety above friendship and love. One can live without friendship and love. I have been doing so since 2000. However, one can not live long without safety. I set a very well pronounced boundary around myself. If breached, I quickly retreat or go into the client and merchant script to end the conversation as quickly as possible. If one is heavily inexperienced and has failed in an endeavor previously, it is wise to not repeat that endeavor again, especially if the endeavor provides little benefit even if a measure of success is achieved. Besides, I would make an extremely poor choice to become a friend or a mate. I would be on my highest guard constantly. Though I am not familiar with social protocols, I imagine being on my highest guard would provoke quite the uncomfortable feeling in the other participant. This would likely prompt the other person to likely lose interest in my company very easily. Thus, my apprehension benefits both me and the other person in question. I believe I have done quite well with nobody in my life since 8 August 2000.

    • @thebluerock6048
      @thebluerock6048 3 роки тому

      @@indridcold8433 yea you right about safety...can’t have people close to me and act weird like Jesus and Judas or Caesar and Brutus. But, we never know unless we stay anti social. But what about memories? What about legacies? You don’t want to tell your children about your life? Idk i feel
      Something wrong here

  • @zodayn
    @zodayn 7 років тому +53

    The sound effect of the pink shirt man sitting down at 1:46 is really gross, genius, and an audible representation of feeling vulnerable. Not many videos edit audio that well.

    • @edaphic4515
      @edaphic4515 6 років тому

      I actually love this comment 😂👌

  • @SelmaPiro
    @SelmaPiro 6 років тому +1

    I've found 'Steps to Knowledge - the book of inner knowing' (free to download) has helped me immeasurably to face my vulnerabilities in an honest and respectful way, and enable me to build my personal strengths and innate skills and abilities. Therefore I'm better able to deal with external issues and cope with life's challenges, without the same old fear and weakness as before. Really, it does require making an effort to develop those internal muscles of strength and resilience!

  • @maillardsbearcat
    @maillardsbearcat Рік тому +5

    Every time I show vulnerability people use it to to put me down and boost their own ego

  • @directioner236
    @directioner236 7 років тому +2

    This is a Perfect interpretation of vulnerability and the animation is so well made, Thanks for making such great videos

  • @yogatimes1013
    @yogatimes1013 7 років тому +1

    The video didnt speak on being vulnerable to yourself before others. Give yourself the chance to be vulnerable enough to admit your shortcomings and flaws. It's far better than someone else showing you the true mirror, if not with the very intentions, leaving you exposed and coming face to face with your flaws for the first time. Especially if you are someone who likes building a wall around themselves.

  • @neogbfe3587
    @neogbfe3587 4 роки тому

    Humiliation is important, it teaches acceptance and integrity. Individuals that utilize social media hate vulnerabilities, instead they like validation. If you cant relate or emphasize with individuals that accept humiliation, you will always try to hold on and hurt those you love.

  • @MunthApollo
    @MunthApollo 7 років тому

    The animations in this one made me laugh and smile. It was so cringey, yet endearing and funny at the same time. Love it.

  • @candyjay370
    @candyjay370 3 роки тому +2

    Being vulnerable makes me feel exposed to being rejected. Vulnerability is debilitating in sense that it creates so much anxiety for me.

    • @thebluerock6048
      @thebluerock6048 3 роки тому

      So why are women telling men to be vulnerable if women are scared ?

    • @candyjay370
      @candyjay370 3 роки тому

      @@thebluerock6048 I'm not sure. Being vulnerable could be contagious. Maybe women want men to lead first and be vulnerable.

    • @thebluerock6048
      @thebluerock6048 3 роки тому

      @@candyjay370 yea but if women want men to lead first then follow them why when they get upset they use it against men? Nah, that’s unacceptable.

    • @candyjay370
      @candyjay370 3 роки тому

      @@thebluerock6048 Are you saying women tell men to be vulnerable Only to use it against them? If so that's some women. Not all women are like that.

    • @thebluerock6048
      @thebluerock6048 3 роки тому

      @@candyjay370 I’ve seen so many relationships where women will wait to go to their mans best friend house and talk all that shit about him like he’s soft or he’s a bitch...i caught second hand embarrassment because we are friends but I don’t want to interfere in there relationship....you say some but it’s actually majority.

  • @charlita25
    @charlita25 4 роки тому +1

    It used to be hard for me to be vulnerable. But I am getting better at it.

  • @BlueSkyCountry
    @BlueSkyCountry Рік тому

    Practice and master emotional and expressive suppression. You might be extremely scared, worried, sad, whatever on the inside, but outside you still have a face and voice of cold steel. NOBODY can take advantage or get entertainment out of you if you maintain an expression of stone and never talk about personal issues with anyone outside of somebody you are certain truly cares about you.

  • @humanautomata
    @humanautomata 7 років тому +92

    Being vulnerable is good. But be wise about it. Because some people just go from open and vulnerable to needy and pathetic.

    • @hubblebublumbubwub5215
      @hubblebublumbubwub5215 6 років тому +14

      That’s stupid. People don’t choose to be pathetic.

    • @varoothini
      @varoothini 5 років тому +11

      It all depends on your perception

    • @fingerprint5511
      @fingerprint5511 5 років тому +5

      You speak from fear of rejection, not from strength. False God you chose to idolise.

    • @anna-mariahjorth6527
      @anna-mariahjorth6527 5 років тому +13

      Opening up is neither pathetic or needy, they're not even in the same ball park. Sounds like you're scared of intimacy and/or other people judging you for talking about your feelings.

    • @useoleon4852
      @useoleon4852 4 роки тому +1

      Bayu-Your perception is shallow and closed-minded.

  • @sillawatcht
    @sillawatcht Рік тому

    spilled my drink while watching this

  • @sammy3212321
    @sammy3212321 7 років тому

    This has been one of my favourite animations so far. The squidgy sounds were a little unsettling, but the style was so cute.

  • @annycui9880
    @annycui9880 7 років тому

    This video makes me feel better.

  • @RobsMiscellania
    @RobsMiscellania 7 років тому +2

    I needed to hear this. I'm hanging in there, guys.

  • @theethereal91
    @theethereal91 7 років тому +8

    This reminds me a lot of what I've already read a few years ago in "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown. I highly recommend the book, it's also about vulnerability.

  • @Bruno-tm3xo
    @Bruno-tm3xo 11 місяців тому

    Thing is……you can’t afford to be vulnerable with anyone and it can turned badly for you. It did for me, the minute I showed my vulnerabilities, I was doomed and it took me years to get over it.

  • @sunevop8925
    @sunevop8925 7 років тому

    Negative thinking will ruin all the things.......u are normal..........we meet and help each other for the need............learning new from everyday.......

  • @pear8752
    @pear8752 7 років тому +1

    They used pink as a color of innocence, vulnerability, fragile etc. Love it

  • @lovedaisy_0728
    @lovedaisy_0728 4 роки тому

    This is so enlightening! I learned a lot from this video. Thank you🙂

  • @ALAMAZAN818
    @ALAMAZAN818 4 роки тому

    I worked my ass off to be vulnerable and transparent as possible with a love interest if mine. She wasn’t willing to be vulnerable due to a bad break up that had her really damaged at the time. In order to show her a safe space to be vulnerable, I let my wall down, which was a lot of hard work and many many therapy sessions. All so one day I can mention that I feel that she isn’t vulnerable enough and that I wanted to make a safe space for her to communicate her feelings (we were in a disagreement) and instead she took this as me begging her to tell me what was wrong. She later said (in the same text paragraph) that “maybe she wasn’t being vulnerable with me because she didn’t want to give me and possibly didn’t deserve that kind of energy or that level from [her]”. I was torn. This whole time I tried my best to make her feel by being what I thought could help and instead she made me feel as if I was being needy and basically told me that she knew I was being vulnerable and that she didn’t want to reciprocate.
    I say this all to say, WATCH WHO YOURE VULNERABLE AROUND WITH. You let your guard down to the wrong person and they’ll quickly flip it and use it against you. Now I’m only stronger and my confidence and will hasn’t changed.
    Stay up.

  • @banon485
    @banon485 6 років тому

    I really liked the animation in this video. Thank you for your hard work and drive.

  • @ScoutsHonor.
    @ScoutsHonor. 7 років тому +2

    I usually wear my durag on FaceTime early in the getting to know you stage of dating so the woman feels comfortable enough to wear her bonnet/head scarf which opens her open up in all other aspects. Something very small but an example of how your vulnerability can makes others comfortable enough to be vulnerable as well. Lol

  • @ANTiKr00t
    @ANTiKr00t 7 років тому

    I love this animation! It's comedic and conveys the message very well.

  • @butterflyqueen9260
    @butterflyqueen9260 5 років тому +2

    Strong enough to be weak.

  • @lilabostwick1804
    @lilabostwick1804 Рік тому

    Amazing video thank you so much!

  • @nobodylea
    @nobodylea 6 років тому +3

    I'm sorry, I love the animation and sound effects so much. It distracted me from the actual video.

  • @dexistence19
    @dexistence19 7 років тому

    This is absolutely brilliant. Thankyou!!

  • @Shreymani2
    @Shreymani2 7 років тому

    sharing vulnerability makes really good friends

  • @ishakaul9121
    @ishakaul9121 7 років тому

    Lovely realizations. Thank you !

  • @anonymousmystery1389
    @anonymousmystery1389 6 років тому +1

    I think people here in the comment section missed the point about this video almost entirely. I'm a philosophy major who happens to specialize in feminism. As feminism is one of the philosophy disciplines, I understand what this video is trying to convey. The message here is NOT about you making yourself more vulnerable or creating further weaknesses in yourself. It's about revealing your already existing vulnerabilities to find a true friendship. And to reveal it to someone, you need to assess who those people are. If that person is your boss, your job interviewer, your business rival, your marketer disguised as a friend, or your gossiping false friend, it's not wise to show your vulnerabilities to them.

  • @Shreymani2
    @Shreymani2 7 років тому +1

    sometimes u have to pretend and show that u r nervous and vulnerable, so that other person can feel confident a little bit.

  • @KoreanwithMissVicky
    @KoreanwithMissVicky 7 років тому

    Beautiful!

  • @DivineUnionTV
    @DivineUnionTV 7 років тому +1

    The pain is empowering ... I started considering it like a tattoo when I was younger, to kinda force myself to do it more.

  • @purpletruth4880
    @purpletruth4880 7 років тому

    WOWWWWW!!!!! THAT WAS AN EYE OPENER!!!!

  • @blackchang1981
    @blackchang1981 7 років тому

    The British Narrator is back! Yes! I hate to admit but I actually missed him.

  • @ramanjeet1111
    @ramanjeet1111 Рік тому

    although Vulnerability does teaches us an important lesson, however we should be strong to enough to say no to being exploited,always put ur foot down,,,and it works at times

  • @tashawilliams8093
    @tashawilliams8093 3 роки тому +2

    Opening up almost makes me regret that I did.

  • @s.cstudios3070
    @s.cstudios3070 7 років тому +5

    This hurts because it's true

  • @user-ey6so8nl7z
    @user-ey6so8nl7z 7 років тому

    A poignant video I needed today more than ever. Thank you

  • @jessicagomez1760
    @jessicagomez1760 7 років тому

    always on point with the topics and respective animations

  • @Ajajqiqjaa
    @Ajajqiqjaa 3 роки тому

    ILOVE THE SOUND EFFECT "ARRGHh!!

  • @yamabiko7179
    @yamabiko7179 7 років тому

    These videos you make are amazing but often I find my self thinking "So what do i do?". It's good to understand yourself as a human being but sometimes that isn't always enough. I know I've spent countless hours by myself thinking of things that flaws me and what the ideal me would be.. But in the end its hard to change who you are when you have lived your whole life as 'you'. And the 'you' you have always been is the only you you'll ever know who to be.

  • @ReemZuhaili
    @ReemZuhaili 7 років тому

    It's such an inspiring topic and a great speech

  • @pablodejuan2096
    @pablodejuan2096 7 років тому

    All your videos are very inspiring

  • @lambusaab
    @lambusaab 7 років тому +17

    I sometimes forget to zip up...

  • @Brenda-ny1gw
    @Brenda-ny1gw Рік тому

    I'm a vulnerable person by nature. But many times I've been laughed at when relating mistakes and the such, and when I tried to tease back or to draw parallels to other people's mistakes, most of them have violent, aggressive reactions. Vulnerability is good, but you must first suss out who should you allow in, mean people see it as a sign of weakness or idiocy in others and try to capitalize a 1000% on it..

  • @abbimariellafranks
    @abbimariellafranks 7 років тому

    This video is what I needed to hear

    • @Mindsway
      @Mindsway 7 років тому

      ikr, always so.. precisely true

  • @superpacocaalado7215
    @superpacocaalado7215 Рік тому +1

    Man, don't forget to never show your weakness to your partners, they really don't care about male problems.
    Have long lasting meaningful friendships with other man, dogs, go outside, exercise, have kids, go to therapy, but never show your vulnerable side to the woman you love, you'll be alone in less then a week.