Brené Brown: Vulnerability, not over-sharing
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- Опубліковано 22 лип 2024
- The popular researcher explains how leaders can be vulnerable in a way that benefits their company's creativity.
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Brene’ also speaks on how not everyone is entitled to your story!
Took me YEARS to learn the value of that right there. My story is way too precious to be given to just anyone. Yet I gave it to anyone and everyone. Such is not the case anymore.
In Dare to Lead?
Make it about the work.
EXACTLY
HeartOfSky. Great Lessons Learned😻 It seems like discernment is a gift for you now?
The host has such a sensitive gaze. Looks very honest.
Germana Leal Brasileiro what a lovely comment.
Yep.. I love many from that generation (my dad's generation).... strangely brene brown speaks with a somewhat harsh tone but I think that's because she is direct.
I need someone special in my life . I am extremely lonesome but at the same time im scared of people! I lived on the streets for a few years. Between the streets and how i was treated ( both by others and myself) i emotionally and spiritually am beaten and scareed pretty bad inside.. i need a real friend but dont remember what that looks like!😫
😂😂😂😂😂oh my goodness YES!!
The hardest part of being vulnerable, is knowing whom to open up to. That requires a lot of discernment and a very high level of social intelligence.
No that’s just living strategically in your head.. You can open up to anyone and those who can’t handle it, kick them to the curb!!! I’m honest and vulnerable with EVERYONE!!!
@@user-qe7bt9dz1l Brene was just talking against this in this video. Did you watch the video? Vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability.
@@sobc2737 She's saying don't fake the vulnerability. Also, she seems to advise to bully others with vulnerability. I don't think it's wise to "lean in" like she says. It's better to just say what needs to be said and stand in your truth. Some people just have more to them then others. It's not a fault! Learning to kick people to the curb is a skill I'm still learning. Being honest with one's own vulnerability is a strength!
@@ljsong1 how many people can we kick..the world seems to be full of imposters...
Agreed. I recently learned I lost a close friend to suicide and it’s been difficult to navigate. I’m generally rather transparent about my vulnerability, but I also had to learn about boundaries and protecting myself, especially regarding a sensitive topic as suicide. It’s caused me to end a friendship of sixteen years after I told him about losing my friend. The way he spoke to me was rather hurtful than comforting, and while I know ending the friendship has been a long time coming, it’s still very disappointing.
I always think of pain in a cup, and when our cup fills over too much we can overshare and not understand boundaries and spill that pain onto others....mostly unknowingly and sometimes not.
@Cindy Lou thanks love ❤
That's a great analogy. 👍🏿
One regret, that I didn't hear that sooner
@Cindy Lou Agreed 😊
Excellent analogy
God sent. Thank you.
"When you are in uncertainty, When you feel at risk When you feel exposed, Dont tap out. Stay brave, Stay uncomfortable, stay in the cringing moment, lean into the hard conversation and keep leading"
"All I'm saying about vulnerability is that when you are in uncertainty, when you feel at risk, when you feel exposed, *don't tap out.* Stay brave, stay uncomfortable, stay in the cringey moment, lean into the hard conversation, and keep leading."
Vulnerability is taking risks and telling truth.
@Tami Pe Like I went to work in the Covid 19 and didn't have a nervous breakdown
I just wrote this down. Thank you!
Every time you try something outside the norm you open yourself up to criticism or failure
I started businesses that didn't take off. That is opening yourself up to failure
Chuck Hockey yes I’ve been facing a lot of trials and tribulations with officially starting my business and one thing I had to learn was that Im on MY TIME no one else’s ! My time will come. Patience is key 🔑
If someone does not mind being exposed, that someone is free.
Lernt that young
❤️
and just to add to that, if you have things you choose to keep private that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re enslaved. You can be free but not have total control.
@@thermidorwinthrop9245 being free is realizing you are only in control of yourself, the choices you make
It's kind of true if you think about it.
You can be vulnerable without exposing details.
Elizabeth Jones love this.
Elizabeth Jones in what sense do you mean this pls?
How though??
I wonder HOW, too. People can't understand you without you providing the context.
Doesn’t make any sense: as this is what everyone does. My understanding of showing vulnerability as a strength is to express it in some way or through actions
Chk-chk-chk-chk-chk-chk-chk - the 60 Minutes outtro did exactly what she *just* said *not* to do. 😆👍
🤣🤣🤣 great comment!!
Ha!!
You're funny 😁
Yoooo Hake you had me dying over here bc I read your comment 1 sec before she did it😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
2:58
Just read her book Daring Greatly and it’s a wonderful book. Unfortunately many companies still lead their employees and use fear and shame as “motivators”.
John Peterson I agree it’s a very devastating way to treat good people who just want to provide for their family and make their parents proud.
I love her but the vulnerability thing does not work in many companies. For example at the firm i work at, I have been an empathic leader that expresses vulnerability and shows empathy and kindness - the people I lead use it as a green light to attempt to trample me, shame me, and ambush me , particularly publicly and in meetings because they see vulnerability as weakness. They see it as an a opportunity to assert themselves over me.
I now understand why most managers at the firm have an aggressive, no tolerance fear driving approach. People seriously have no respect or appreciation for a caring, empathic , strong leader that shows vulnerability.
Superiors SHINE with their subjects. Very sick
It's not about sharing or being vulnerable, it's about being honest - being emotionally honest and consequently transparent.
Vulnerability is the "feeling" experienced while being honest but at the end of the day the goal is to be honest and risk it all for your truth, simple!
Totally in agreement ❤
great share
What a brilliant and true message. If you want freedom and creativity you must see vulnerability as a measure of courage and openness, which it actually is. Thank you.
My first Brene' Brown UA-cam video. I am hooked.
Rebekah Kleinman oh she is so good. Love her! She has a podcast, but I haven’t listened to it yet. So I’m just putting it out there with no opinion.
Her podcast is wonderful but I recommend starting with her TED talks or other talks.
She's one of the BEST!!
Lol 😂 the fake vulnerability got me. That pisses me off too. 🤣🤣
I feel you
Look at the sense of urgency combined with authenticity in the way she’s giving the message…she’s clearly doing what she was put here to do and we need to listen to her
beautiful
Yes the host seemed so sincere.
When you are in uncerainty, at risk, exposed, stay brave, stay uncomfortable, lean into the hard conversation, and keep leading. Be aware of your armor and stay human.
What does it mean to stay human?
@@hannahmiller7347 I'm also trying to understand what she said but my insight is that as humans we have emotions that lead us to feelings of vulnerability and by that we have to be aware of the fear that might want to shield us (the armor), perhaps by saying that to stay human is to accept these emotions instead of suppressing or discouraging them.. and still keeping some boundaries
Hannah Miller I think she means by staying human is that humans have negative emotions. Humans fail. And if we start to stumble or do something we find uncomfortable, don’t back away. Stay in whatever human moment that is, with our human emotions and feelings, and don’t shove it down, use or built up defense mechanism, etc.
I totally did not get what she was saying. All of it sounded contradictory to me.
I love that she made the 60 minute stopwatch outro sound just before it ended ☺
Brené is the ultimate life coach 🤓
Love her❣️
I love Brene Brown but I think theres an important point, there's a very high incidence of psychopathy among the top earners. People who are driven to acquire power and extreme wealth are often narcissistic. Which is the opposite of being able to accept vulnerability. The whole capitalist system is based on exploitation and domination. Realistically for vulnerability to enter the world of business, the nature of capitalism will have to change first. Probably fall altogether.
Excellent point.
I think that's a fair point.
Exactly this! I love Brene but she is too liberal and wishy washy. She doesn’t really think about the historical and political context of what she is saying. Also the point she makes about over sharing is very confusing; her explanation about the difference between being vulnerable and over sharing didn’t make sense and she couldn’t explain it herself so she just made these abstract, emotive reasons with a million meanings. Side eyed her. Not gonna lie. I’m too radical for this kind of nonsense.
@@newleft2254 to be fair, if she brought politics into it she would alienate a lot of people.
@@newleft2254 Yes. I was not understanding what she meant.
Excellent advice. I feel people see the "human" in you when you allow your armor to come down. It's not a sign of weakness.
So true
Her Live Audio on Vulnerability definitely will be put to the test in this Coronavirus Pandemic.
Wow. Great interview and great wisdom. Very insightful and practical for leaders in all parts of a company, at all levels. Especially now.
I love Brene Brown but I find it very hard to live and walk in this world in our lifetime. I struggle with discernment in not knowing when and what to say to and around whomever.
You will get better with time.
Same
The whole life felt that way. Eventually an intention was set, and it got easier and easier to have discernment for that. Best wishes!
I think you are off to a great start with recognizing that. I found spending more time with myself and my thoughts helped me significantly.
Me too...
So relatable...I don't cry, but vulnerable. Super strong in my courageous heart and open to the conversation. Don't be fake bc people feel that. And those who don't know that they are felt as fake, are not in touch with other hearts or themselves.
Well if you do cry from time to time that's alright too. We're all just human beings at the end of the day.
@@tomd1434 Yes...and crying is healing.
@@fitnfab6522
True
Brene' is brilliant speaker. It’s simple but it’s amazing. Vulnerability is not an emotion, it’s a power, a power to accept oneself.
yes!
Love that
Love
There’s definitely a fine line between the two!
I love that she just drops an anime reference there at the end like it’s normal.
The geeks have taken over the world and I love it.
What I have a hard time with is: how can you be truly vulnerable without sharing you insecurities and deepest darkest secrets right away? If you don't want to do that, then what is the point of the relationship? The truth is just that not every person deserves to know your insecurities, fears and dreams because they will either use it against you or share it with people you didn't want to know it. I feel like most people statisfy themselves with casual friendships that don't go further than surface topics. Those are the kind of people that will tell you not to talk about those things in a first conversation. But I think it's better to know who you're dealing with. That's why I prefer observing people first. You can learn a lot about a person by just watching. This will also prevent you from making friends with the wrong people since some really know how to charm you with words.
Naila Kamana maybe giving advice
Good points. I think watching is smart, but you're also thinking logically. Sometimes especially when we're going through a difficult time in our lives, we can forget how important that is because we're emotional, and unfortunately there's even folks who will sniff that out and exploit it. I opened up to the wrong person. It just kind of happened and it was very early in getting to know her which is unlike me. Anyway it turned out she didn't deserve to know but you know what...it also helped me confront the shame I was carrying because I was flooded with regret and fear once I shared. I realized I need to deal with this issue much more than I had up to that point. I've made some progress since. So even if you or someone "overshares" it can be a useful learning experience. Life isn't always easy right? Good luck.
Vulnerability is okay for women but not okay for men.
Very good points. I always observe folks before engaging them. 30seconds to 1 minute of observation is enough for me discern someone’s spirit. I’m that good at it.
That's why building friendship takes time, trust, and working through inevitable moments of betrayal. It may sound paradoxical, to be vulnerable and yet maintain boundaries. This requires godly wisdom and character building. This is a process, and often may seem difficult. But then, how will you be human, if you cannot be a friend?
I needed this today, thank you!
Totally correct: vulnerability is not about pouring out, but about not blocking in
2:20 is some pretty amazing advice- stay brave and lean in
Love this interview and Brene ❤
Trauma causes people to overshare. Who cares we all do it sometimes
@Arikm7 I'm going to stop wallowing in self-pity over having been overprotected my entire life, not having being allowed to develop normally into a fully functioning adult, not having had the opportunity to develop proper social skills, and thus having developed a very distorted perception of myself and my capacity to be self-sufficient. I'm going to take the iniciative. One step at a time.
Pamela Gunn exactly! I mean why does there have to be a line! Why say vulnerable is good but don’t over share? I feel u should do what u feel called to do!
@Arikm7 Thank you!
It can be dawnting at times, but breaking up goals into small steps/moments and keeping on working at them is the only way to move forward. I'm 27 and learned this rather late. I used to think I had to do/know everything at once and would get frustrasted when I found myself unable to do so. Consistency is key.
All the best to you as well! ;)
By nature i did that without a proper notice. Oversharing with little acknowledgement that the recipient is a right audience or whether he/she is ready for it. But that cant keep me from being vulnerable. Being vulnerable to the self is a gift already.
@@sybelle_esta_no_telhado_ad5040 all the best for your journey. We all have dealt with codependency at different degrees. Freeing oneself from it is a full time job then. Dr. Nicole Lepera (the.holistic.psychologist) on instagram is a great source of knowledge and inspiration in this regard. Love 💕
Wow, powerful words! Thank you.
I often get people over-sharing, really personal stuff, but never vulnerability. I suspect those over sharing think they being vulnerable, but they're not.
Brilliant articulation
this was very good life advice!! I needed to hear this
These are life changers!
The host has the same poise and mannerisms as my late grandfather.
Women’s strengths in a mans world
That's a great distinction!
Brilliant and authentic!
Mindfulness. Emotion comes and goes.
What an interesting video! By being truly vulnerable, we can live full out!
Been Brown is an amazing mentor.
As another educator (who is also a November-born kid) I have been saying this for a long time. Thank you.
If we don’t fully comprehend to understand & respect feelings of one another a team would never work to build each other up. Actions would just be answering to each other out of just being told.
Huge difference in productivity & how everyone shows up when unspoken words held in get heard and resolved.
The secret is we are all pretty similar. We have regrets and terrible thoughts. People really aren't that complex. We hide the ugly, we don't really want to let others see us break. But the truth is we all do. Sometimes we laugh about it later like it wasn't a big deal but is was at that point in time. The best way I see it is just to find those little moments that you can give a little away. See how they react and if they handle it well maybe let them know a bit more. My honest opinion is if it is a negative trait about you that effects your relationship with an individual, then they deserve to know what it is. Most people really aren't that terrible especially when they start to see your similarities. That doesn't mean we don't need help following through with this. Understanding the concept and actually using it can be hard. It might seem counterintuitive to people who have had a few bad experiences but it's amazing how many people will embrace you when you open up just a little.
Thanks for the video
I love this.
Irony: she disguises her own vulnerability with her heavy vocal fry affectation. It is not her regular voice, that is for sure. This is her armor.
Amazing!!!
These are LIFE lessons. We should be doing this whether we're in a Fortune 500 or not
Excellent. 👍
great advice!
❤ this thank you 🙏🏾
Wonderful host aswell.
"Stay brave, stay human" is definitely a lot easier said than done when you're right in the middle of a panic attack but it gets better with time, awareness and watching over your thoughts (in case you're still having issues about this, I'm a work in progress myself)
She makes good sense.
I really love her
Never surprises to deliver !
Stay brave, lean into the hard conversation, got it 👍🙏💗
I still struggle with this part. Sometimes I open up to much and people use it against me.
Oversharing is being too vulnerable. Youve given someone too much of yourself. There is no falsity in that. Knowledge is power. To give someone knowledge about you is to give power. Being transparent is a given. Its called being honest. Thats not vulnerability. Thats called doing whats right. Being vulnerable is putting yourself out their with purpose of helping or strengthening a person or situation. When you are vulnerable there is a chance it make not work in your favor but it makes for a trustworthy and strong leader. You just have to know what type of person you are sharing with and trust your gut.
Must watch for all leaders of corporations and government departments.
Love Rene Brown!
Stay brave. Stay human. Keep Leaning..🕊🤍💫💞🙏
Thank you
I love how this is a quiet calm interview and she’s in full on motivator mode lol
This lady is such a total sweetheart! I want to hug her right now! Its very hard to be alive right now the way everything is gotten so out of control and sad ! I feel like I'm better off dead alot lately. Relapsed on heroin.just wish i had somebody around besides my cat to pit my arms around and hold me when i wake up in tears in the middle of the night. So i guess this will have to do for now .😥
Sorry to hear your story man. You are being vulnerable and that's a courageous thing. I think Brene would say it's the beginning of innovation. I hope that you can find help with your addiction. There are people out there who care and can help.
That was a powerful 3 minute video.
A step in the right direction. Not one of us is perfect!
Love this and she is beautiful inside and out
Anyone else notice the sounds she used for the 'transformer' almost exactly the same as the '60 min' seque... relatable side note!
I totally agree
Good she's readjusting her speech
Thank you so much, Brene for helping us feel accepted for our vulnerabilities. I feel like a walking billboard for mental illness, which caused severe oversharing.... yikes!? Haha... Uh, Thanks for listening to me whine n act a fool for 2 years Dear Universe. Now that I'm finally CALM enough lately to begin to understand my mistakes, n foot-in-mouth moments I'm super appreciative to have Peace of Mind that it's all been teaching moments. For the most part I can laugh about it, through tears, but still laugh. No clue how to acclimate to society and rebuild, but I'm patently PATIENT!!!!
You will be fine. Shame cannot be an option at this point. We're here only to live life so by all means, live.
How do you know if you are tapping out or just getting out of an impossible situation?
In a Buddhist practice, we do not believe in vulnerability... we believe in humility and being honest with one's self... which has nothing to do with "others." Therefore, you cannot "teach" vulnerability. You can practice humility through specific practices. By focusing on an energy that limits one's expansive limitless potential, we cannot yield new results nor results that lead to empowerment. Therefore vulnerability is not a focus point, nor a practice. It is a distraction toward humility of expression and generosity.
@Robyn Linn, I see vulnerability as being able to be open and compassionate in all situations, all your cards on the table as it were. How is this different than humility? In both, there is no pretense, just raw truth of human experience.
Robyn Linn Sounds pretty boring.
Not everyone has the privilege of Buddhist practice. Brene speaks to the masses.
Also, let's not forget that this is the west and most people do not practice Buddhism.
Additionally, I never knew there was a right or wrong way to practice vulnerability but I guess that's why I dislike organized religion so much. Dogma.
Honestly, you sound pretentious.
@@mariellencressman9624 This !
Semantics
She leans in and it gets so intense. Totally locked in.
The tick tick noise she makes at the end is the same of the 60 minutes end of video
Wow, that was nuts!! Lol
I thought she was doing transformers. Can someone on 60 minutes please verify this?
LMAO best comment on this video. My abs just got a workout.
🤯
Love is beautiful, but also vulnerable. Nothing wrong with sharing, but not over sharing. It'll backfire on you.
I guess it depends by what you consider oversharing. I've had women tell me on a first and one time a second date that they had been raped. Some might say they were oversharing, but I didn't look at it that way. Instead I thought ok this is something that this person is clearly struggling with on some level so I listened. Now if what you mean by backfire is something that can be used against you if and when the relationship ends...sure I get it, but unless you're telling them you robbed a bank who cares lol.
It always does o
essa mulher é incrivel
🦋leaders don’t quit, just be you
I read recently - sure I could Google to find out who said it - “Courage is fear that has said its prayers.”
But… making new friends does require courage and vulnerability. Psychologists say the best way most people do make friends is to give someone a little vulnerable information and see what they do with it.
Not that she did the chi chi chi chi chi ch sound right before the 60 minutes stop watch at the end. LOL Love her advice.
Vulnerability + emotional maturity =badass
Preach
Over sharing is such a massive monster these days. Its an addiction people confuse for vulnerability!
I came looking for this comment🤣🤣🤣 she made the 60minute ticking noise 😆 and I wondered if the host noticed it then and there 😆
Healthy boundaries are what allow someone to be vulnerable.
I think the passivity sometimes seen within the corporate process is a way of letting internal operatives create a mixture of consensus yet go...to... The voice of a manager appears to gestate individual work performance. Ousting the no child left behind act, merging newer technology. Generational. Brown is the new mauve.
Welp. I wish i knew this clarification earlier on. Just made a series of oversharing from which I hope I can heal my shame from
Is she talking about humility?
Hi
Can I translate this video and post it on my channel?
Very smart woman 💜💜💜
A friend asked how I was doing- I actually told the truth...
I just read the chapter on Oversharing in Daring Greatness.
I am regretting telling my story. Better read the chapter again.