"A Comical Story About My Patient" - Jordan Peterson
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- Опубліковано 2 тра 2024
- song: hardknock. - no tomorrow
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#jordanpeterson #story #therightmind
I mean respect to the guy for seaking help to protect his kid.
I'm actually surprised at the framing of this video and Even Peterson's own framing. The guy is a bum on the surface but is actually seeking some redemption which is worthy of respect.
Judging someone without offering a hand with dignity only serves to keep them in the hole they find themselves in.
But let's be honest, even with the will to change after becoming a parent, the guy is facing the desert, still covered in his mother's birth mucus.
Ofc i like to believe the kid will have a decent upbringing, but yeah with no context but this, i am worried.
@@hiswordremains true. The more so if a person show's honest inniciative. His desire to protect his own kid shows empathy on his side as well I believe. Asking for help can require courage. It took me over a decade myself to seek some pro counceling (as I was afraid of being judged). When I finally did, it helped me change my life for the better fast(er) then ever. As for the councelling-style: I think you need to trust your "mentor" first of all. If you found that fundament, the amount of "tough love" should depend on your needs. My guy was able to be super straight forward with me even with uncomfortable truths and I always appreciated it because A: he was never personal (100%pro) or emotional (besides his beautiful humor) and B: his insights were almost always crystal clear and objectifaly right on the money. So my response usually was: "that's true!" while mentally feeling relieved.
@@coffeepot3123 be that as it may: I believe he and the kid will be better of with the support of pro counceling than without it.
@@hiswordremains
Yet, apparently he helped this guy out of his malaise, his inability to do even the smallest tasks. The first step to healing is the realisation and admission that you have been a failure, that you are avoiding responsibility and you don't wan to live that way any longer. You can gain strength by knowing your weaknesses and then defeating them, one step at a time but you have to know what those weaknesses are. That's never going to be easy.
Imagine going on youtube and its just your therapist raosting you for 5 minutes straight 😂
This story is also in his 12 rules of life book. He probably asked for permission or its so obscure a detail there is no way anyone could be identified. Not being able to vacuum your room is probably a common experience of anyone struggling in the bottom.
@@gormenfreeman499 you beileive that multiple peole happen to go to him and that those people all put a vacuum in their door way and stepped over it for a week?
The fact he is telling the story as an extreme example shows this is not a common occurence
@@gormenfreeman499 I found the steps to be very helpful because they can apply to a broad range of behaviors I would like to change in my own life. I agree with you, many people down and out would struggle with basic things like cleanliness, personal hygiene and hearing something like this can give people the help/hope they need. Anyone who cant grasp this is either very ignorant or just a jerk.
not really roasting its genuinely good advice unless your gonna tell tough love as roasting
@@SplinteredX ahh yes tough love, the thing everyone wants out of a therapist 🙄
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
This is why it's so important to give your kids love, discipline, and responsibility. Get them used to accomplishing hard things while they're young, and they will generally do well as adults.
True. But those with mental health issues (especially well masked and undiagnosed) is a whole other matter, and usually what's behind so many who "fail to launch" these days.
I was paralyzed towards the end of my first marriage. I found that setting a goal of 15 minutes of work a day towards fixing my life helped. If at the end of 15 minutes, i wanted to stop, i did. But what I found was that after a while, I would often find myself still working 45 to an hour later.
"Now I am winning, and it feels so good. And sure winning is tiring, but I am not tired yet"
how r u now?
@@UTAH100 awesome 👍
@@brambledemon1232 Great to hear!
so true, whenever I find myself angry or depressed, I try to find a small task to do, could be anything like looking up a math problem. The task pulls me out of that dangerous inward thinking.
The music was so not needed.
In contrast to the missing source quotation...
So much video clips do not provide the source. It makes the further research so much more inconvenient. Is it on purpose?
It’s easy to ruin a good video with music. This music isn’t that bad, but it’s still distracting
@@cowtowngangsta it's like video gaming music for the side quests. Completely undermines the point of the video.
Your statement was not needed. And yet here we are 😉
and the cheap reverb lol
for some people a big task is just to get out of bed
Like me
Very sorry to say but those are the ones who want the government (the surrogate mommy and daddy) to take care of them. The complete opposite of our founding fathers. So sad.
My girlfriend's son can't get out of bed without her telling him it's time to get up. He's 22 years old and is amazingly similar to the useless bastard description here.
@@billb89 At least he gets up when he's told, He probably shouldn't have to but whatever. At least he gets up
@@billb89 Stop paying for his internet/cable.
"It's absolutely crucial that it's voluntary." That's so powerful in this New Aged Spiritual society where people heavily engage in free-will violations...and think it's okay.
The lesson here is different. Different intellects, different skill sets, different physical abilities, different emotional states. If people spent half the time encouraging their fellow man as they do berating and judging him we might actually have a happy and productive society.
Yea it'd be a street just on the outskirts of Eden and our kids would trying to knock the snake off the tree limb using a half eaten apple.
Well said.
JP is a gift to humanity in such uncertain and confused times. Listen to him. He is wise and knowledgeable and those two things don't combine too often.
Imagine getting Jordan Peterson as your shrink. Absolute jackpot!!
For you. Perhaps.
LOL
@@dolceanstar Not for me as I don't actually need therapy.
How're your mental health issues?
Making any progress?
@@stuartmc18 It wasn't me imagining having Peterson as a shrink, it was you.
My mental health?
Better than you'll ever know!
Best life coach anyone could get.
Fantastic advice. Take a small step, as small as necessary to get yourself moving in a right direction. Additional steps become not only larger, but easier. It's the first step that gets us.
What an eloquent speaker. You can tell by the way he communicates that he sincerely believes everything he says. The Wise Good Father. Even death felt bad killing him. It's an honor an a privilege to be able to listen to you Dr. Peterson. May you live a long and healthy life with your partner.
🙏🏻
Well yes, an eloquent speaker, but he had plenty of time to practice and watch an audience's reaction. This story about a the vacuum cleaner is very old. This ties neatly into Peterson's final message, that practice makes you better.
??? Are you deaf? So you think a medical professional in the psychological field should be actively calling a client a useless bastard? When clearly the patient has some sort of executive functioning issue. Also the simplistic model that he used for "helping someone in therapy" is to have them imagine what life would be like "better" and making steps towards that? Everybody's life would be infinitely improved by having endless money. How's he gonna help you with that? Fucking please. Man just loves the sound of his own voice
It is a great privilege indeed❤
I'm a white-collar professional, but my brain still glitches on some intimidating tasks. My boss has told me several times to break a large job down into several smaller jobs, but it didn't help, and of course I already knew this. What I didn't realize was that I was not making the small job small enough so that it would not still be too overwhelming. It took Jordan Peterson saying "You're not aiming low enough!" (a quote I was disappointed not to hear in this video) to make me see it. I literally started with one part of the task that took about 10 seconds the first day. That's what it took, and now I'm off and running. (As if I needed another reason to worship JP.)
💖
Tiny habits is a great book. I neuroscientist wrote it. It has helped me a lot.
Btw, Be careful of worshiping anybody or anything
What a treasure! is "Dr. Jordan "
You feel like a fool bc you are lol. I really needed this. I feel embarrassed how small and easy my goals are, I feel better knowing and seeing alot of us have to take incredible small steps to get the momentum going. Thank you for sharing this video and thank you to the people in the comment section sharing themselves and encouragement.
I am right along side of you! 😍
You are among friends. Any forward progress is good progress. I’m proud of you 👍🏻
Thanks for the comments. It felt reassuring. Love to yall.
As always, thank you master!
PEOPLE HAVE MADE EVERYTHING SO COMPLICATED IT HAS PUT A STRAIN IN FINDING WHAT IS TRUE
Quite very right...
And they use capitals when lower case works just fine.! 😺
@@user-im9ov9ud7m Attention grabbing tho no??🤔🤔😉
@@user-im9ov9ud7m Our frustration with upside-down world is doubling, as Dr. Peterson put it.
@@user-im9ov9ud7m Would you have preferred Howard Beale to whisper “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore “? No, he needed to shout it.
I would hug this man.
Be careful he has become kinda frail with all this weakness surrounding him.
@@coronaphone710 a fair point.
@@coronaphone710I hope not.
He has proven to be a strong man with solid foundations and a superior intelligence❤
Imagine having Dr. Peterson tell you to clean your room in person. It must have been an epiphany.
That's exactly what he is not supposed to do (as a therapist). You need to realize on your own that it's time to clean your room. Perhaps his mere presence would let you remember all sorts of things that you need to do, so the imagination checks out.
@@antonk.653 He did emphasize that the proposed actions should be part of the 'solution' be fully embraced by the client. That does not preclude the therapist making suggestions.
@antonk.653 how large is your practice? How many patients have you seen? How successful do you think your therapy has been for them?
@@dbmail545 Ad hominem attack, get out of here! We both can agree that Peterson himself said in the video that a therapist isn't supposed to tell the patient what to do, but to at most guide the exploration for the patient themselves. This was my point: Do not tell people to clean their room, let them discover why it's in their own interest.
We need more Jordan Petersons, whatever the woke community says.
I'm very grateful for this man. He is Generational! 🎉blessed to listen to what he says and May he Live Long
I was a "useless bastard" into my forties. I tried hard to pull myself up by my bootstraps over the decades. Failing time after time. The turn around didn't happen until I began to understand that my mother thought me that I was a useless burden. She resented the responsibility of being a parent and made me feel ashamed of being dependent on her even as a young child. Being a child I began to accept that I had no power to make my life better and took that belief into adulthood. All the vacuuming in the world wasn't going to change anything. I had to realize I was living in a false belief forced on me by a sick woman when I was too young to defend myself against it. Peterson is well read and well spoken but his treatment plan would not have helped me. It would have just made me feel more ashamed when I failed.
Damn. I'm 27 and I feel like we have very similar mothers. What advice would you give someone like me
If you ask me, you both think too much, just do the task the chores and work that's needs to be done for the day and do not think too much about it. Leave your feelings out of it and get your work done.
@@hardwired4548 yea exactly cuz if you wait and wait until you realize whats the cause of your problems you will be a useless bastard in your 40s and done nothing with yourself
JP's approach, as he says, is to get the person first to identify their fundamental issue and then help them figure out their first steps towards improving...so for you, your issues and steps to resolving them may not be hoovering your room...deep down you both know what steps you can take ..start small with those..and keep on trying irrespective of the number of times you don't quite get there
@@9ckr716 You and frank480 suffer from something called Learned Helplessness. You need to engage again in the very things you've been conditioned to believe is impossible, because they aren't impossible. You've simply been conditioned. You're going to fail, and that's fine. It doesn't make you a failure. Keep trying, slowly.
What's fascinating is that this guy had access to money or funding that enabled him to have a world class therapist but he didn't have the ability to vacuum his room. Truly amazing when you really think about it.
Maybe he wasn’t famous then
parents who do everything for their kid are not just dumb and incompetent...they want the kid to be forever dependent on them like a pet that'll never them
@@mitchhaynes1744 Assuming any of this is even true at all to begin with. Talking about a patient online is heavily frowned upon for good reason.
I think his fear of vacuuming is based on the knowledge that it is not a one time job. It is a lifetime commitment, because it has to be done every week forever in order to maintain a clean house. This can be rooted in a very deep seated lack of confidence and fear of failure.
I am glad Jordan and other people that work with mental health. Have the patience to help someone like this. I would like to say that I could, but I dont think I would be able to deal with someone like that.
What happened to the guy, i want details
So, what happened to his patient?
Needed to hear this, thanks!
Didn’t mind the music . Thinking of the advice , that was discussed. Thank you to the both of you 🙏
Some people's life script is so debilitating that they just stop trying. Most people could never relate to such people, credit to Jordan for collaborating with such a person and not pushing him too hard but not letting him off the hook either.
Calling him a useless bastard i front of millions isn't kind, he's a psychopathic bully roleplaying.
@@LenaUA-cam You're fuvcking clueless if you think that's psychopathic behavior, it's a humbling honesty that men need and respond to.
And this is the man who had his right to practice therapy taken away.
I know someone who didn't leave home until she was 55 and after that was a mess just hoping around trying to find someone to take her in and support her like a kid
Some live weird co-dependent relationships with their parents..
thats normal for women, not men tho
Psychologists are very empathic towards their patients. When i was seeing my psychologists i was allways scared to be in troubles whenever i was admitting a step back i took. But no....he was looking with me so i could know what Went wrong.
Loose the music next time. please.
Was it too tight?
@@WildTrek 🤣
Lose the extra O next time.
you said you're loose to music ? makes sense if you're a stripper i guess.
There was a live quartet playing in the corner of the studio.
Brilliant mind. 👏🏻👏🏻❤️
I have been trying small steps and am quite surprised how much gets accomplished when the task doesn't overwhelm you.
If you’re in the desert, you’ll be generally motivated to try something though. I’m also proud of the guy for having the humility to at least acknowledge his problem and put out a vision. At least he got the damn vacuum to his doorway. If plugging it in and using it is too anxiety provoking, maybe just picking up one or two things is a start. I say this as someone who’s been there done that with this sort of thing. Encouragement is the key, as is not feeling superior to him. We don’t know what his life was like, even if it’s his fault.
What people don't get is sometimes mothers unintentionally emotionally perpetually trap boys in the home.... and they just don't know HOW to move out. It seems so deceptively simple once you actually have moved out which is why people ridicule the condition. A lot of the problem is mothers being unable to just let go and let the boy be a man and constantly signalling to him how much he is needed in the home in a misguided attempt to lift his spirits.
Fantasy is the idea that it won't happen to you.
Roomba has entered the chat
As someone with substantial ADHD, I constantly live the situation where tasks have to be broken down and negotiated in small steps.
The problem with small steps, is that they add up, and someone like that… all those steps are tedious and can wear them down.
for many younf men and women, in bootcamp, the simple task of making your bed is something totally alien, and unknown. Until day two..... it's a start of developing right habits. Then again, young people in bootcamp are almost never call "wastrels"......
Same way you eat an elphanent ,one bit at a time .lol. Had to handle overwhelming tree jobs the same way .
Doubling, the Golden Ratio👍
Guy has the same approach to housework as I do.
Baby Steps
That part about vacuum cleaner hits damn close
I need to talk to someone like him.
I like the music
We have all
been
stepping over it too
Once begun is half done
The the client was willing to not give up and move the vacuum out of the way seems like a small victory all on it's own. It say he's more willing to put up with an silly, embarrassing annoyance than give up.
have goals which are inspiring, lower my expectations
I'm told this is me since I won't sleep with who I'm told to...and people are told this about me to alienate me me from others
My room's still a mess...
But I go to work, pay the bills, take my family camping and on road trips, help my kid with her homework, teach her programming on the weekends, walk the dog, help my wife whenever she'll tolerate me, help with dinner, do my taxes, do my wife's taxes, do my corporate taxes, write my invoices, bill my client...
But I do wish I'd get around to cleaning my room.
Hire a cleaner!
What interview is this from???
Very interesting. "Take a sufficiently small first step". Not what I would have thought.
JP took benzos for years knowing they were "bloody bad" as he would say and continues to exhibit what is clearly highly dysfunctional emotional behavior. To solve his benzo addiction he seems to have sought out a very dangerous cure and he doesn't seem to have been the same since. There are reasons he didn't take his own advice (trauma). You can't will yourself into changing in any meaningful way. You can fix bad habits for a while but you will slide back until you address the trauma
I wonder what Jordan Peterson's psychological problems are that he is hiding from us?
Wisdom
When I feel stuck and overwhelmed I clean out my car. Once that space is clear I feel like I have some measure of control and I can move on to the next thing.
🙏
I have a 54 year old son who refuses to clean. He has his own place, I won't enter it, he is about 60 miles from me. Due to a head injury when he was for, he does lack organizational skills, but absolutely refuses to even try to organize himself. I've done it for him, many times. I find I must keep a safe distance from him, because I see the laziness in him and then I get angry and very infuriated. His car looks like he lives in it. I demanded we clean out this car about a year ago. He refused, I demanded. We got it done and he loved it. He hoards books, with intent to read, but usually they fill the trunk of the car and backseat along with important papers, i.e. divorce docs and such. So what do you do when someone is so unmotivated? I have to keep my distant to keep my sanity with him.
Whete is the rest of the story?
Not a Peterson fan tbh, but that was truly lovely
Sounds like my step son that I can't get out of my house and life because his mother protects and enables him.
Mr Jordan, yup, a good Alberta boy he is. Am learning from him on a regular basis. Technical and practical ( with a strong moral compass ) a terrific combination when utilized ad he does in his field of expertise. Mr Thomas Sowell has that quality, as does Mr Victor Davis Hanson. Lotsa learning to be done from these 3 brainiacs, lol.
I admire his approach it's the correct way to go about it but sometimes it's a neurological issue and can't be fixed just by using speech therapy. The mental health system doesn't do enough to assess people for neurological damage and the fact that repeat customers in talking therapy is a result of having that it unchecked a potential economic explanation. That or the mind control thing is real not really sure anymore.
Whenever you learn something new, neurons fire in new ways - you are literally changing your neurology by hearing something. When a coach motivates you, he literally changes your neurology with speech. Depression isn't just a result of "chemical imbalance"... there is something within the individual which leads to dissatisfaction and later to depression. So you can change almost anything in a person with "just speech" and/or new experience (it's put too simply, but you know what you mean). You'll see that the laziest and weakest person will get their shit together when life pushes them to the brink of extinction. Most people don't change because they get something out of their disease (the person in the video was void of stress and responsibility and could just remain in their comfort zone - until something drastic happened that pushed them into new territory).
I'm guessing you probably mean some heavy neurological shit - like brain trauma or certain extreme neurological diseases. But you would be surprised how much the brain can regulate it's own neurochemistry and create changes.
@@LordEmilous Indeed - yeah but my point is that serious brain injuries can effect certain brain areas leading a person to appear functional when they have a serious impairment which can have a specific manifestation. While what you're saying is true for many people, the brutal wake up call doesn't work on people who will as a consequence of damage simply react by having a stress induced psychotic episode. My experience: the mental health system fails you comically - but there are great people the last therapist I'd spoken with was pretty much a mind reader and so Agree with what you're saying.
@@rterminatu I agree that mental health system if very poor... in most cases they treat you like a a diseased person and fill you up with pills.... while for some people, all they need is some compassion and therapy work....
I do agree with your point on brain injuries, I do think, however, they are far between people who are just lost and the system can't help them (except give them drugs).
@@LordEmilous Agree. I also think it has to simmer away for awhile afterwards. You don't just walk away from a counseling session instantly a new man - you have to sleep on it - let it tick away for a bit.
At least he was seeking help which is a very grown up thing.
That's what its like trying to drag your arse back into the gym after a three week break
James Rock in the thumbnail lmaoooo
So we need therapy to vacuum ?
Yup, we are doomed 😂
Who hid the vacuum cleaner? Oh, fuck it.
I hate when channels with nothing original to offer steal other people’s video and tag it with their crappy music, logo, or running commentary. All this WITHOUT having the basic decency to link or cite the source video they hijacked.
Everything was looking up until...he realized the vacuum bag needed changing!
That sounds like doing a fourth step on alcoholics anonymous AA sponsors help the newcomer to go through the 12 steps in which they identify their shortcomings, and they strive for progress not perfection, but progress, and is a benefit sponsor sobriety for himself, and the Sponsee, or the new comer begins a new way of living
Source: ua-cam.com/video/IRCZ1Mt2a8M/v-deo.html
I feel like Jordan Peterson is talking about me.
I am seeing my own story in this tale in some regards. Dont do drugs people you will never grow up and enjoy your life, my life is a cautionary tale
“You might be a fool, because you are”?😮
This is some great and very useful information.
The problem solution dichotomy as a framework is not ideal. Deeper issues are usually related to internal conflict, not lack of understanding what to do.
Behavioral intrtventions can certainly work especially if you start in a chaotic state like the client but only up to a point
How did he find out about ME?🤣
I want to know what happened to the guy! Getting the vacuum out was a big first step! The vacuum then becomes the thing that holds you accountable! Hope he succeeded! ❤ Everything Jordan Peterson said was true! I know from personal experience! ❤
I never thought I needed a therapist until I heard this.... (and, no, I vacuum everyday - that's not MY issue.) But, I don't think all therapists think or treat people like Dr Peterson. I don't need a therapist, I need HIM!!!
To get to that kind of pathetic life you need a tolerant enabler. Many of the problems of the world can be traced back to well meaning charity.
Nice music in the background, adds depth
JP rocks.
Great comedy on this concept with patient Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss as the vainglorious psychiatrist who gets his house blown up in the end titled ‘Baby Steps’.
Jordan is Wicked Smaht! ..:)
Who's the guy in the thumbnail I'm wondering
LOL
Looks like they had it right all along with "baby steps"... from the movie "What About Bob"
Best comedy of all time, IMO.
What a good Dr
Just really smart and human loving work.
It’s really beautiful work
I am just as lost most of the time.
I know deep within It's jut Cowardice in myself- that I won't Face Life. I want to die and not exist. I'd rather frutrate myself to the point of Destruction to say 'See I am justified, it was all for nothing anyway!' and I refuse to act on things scared that I will work hard and get nothing and die.
But knowing the Truth that if I do Nothing- I will just be stagnant rot and will die anyway useless, bitter, bored and resentful. I am a Coward.
Horrific lack of closure on vacuum cleaner guy. What happened the next week?!
So what happened to the guy?
Comedy has truly died when THAT was called comical.
Look at me I'm Peter Pan
I'm a little boy Forever!!!
Could he vacuum the hallway to his bedroom?