Toxic parenting in Black communities... let's do better. 💔
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- Опубліковано 10 кві 2024
- Toxic parenting in immigrant communities has to stop. We make excuses for behaviour we would never tolerate from others. We are called to love and respect our parents, but it's still a responsibility to keep them accountable for mistreating children. No one should get a pass just because they've had a hard life. NO ONE.
#toxicparenting #girlmom #momlife #parentingstyles - Навчання та стиль
Even black American parents justify this mistreatment bc they hold the status of parent. They don’t consider the actual definition of respect, as a part of respect. Respect is earned, not honorary. Treat me like a human…and parents need to stop acting like their job of being a good parent is optional. You don’t get to have babies (for yourself consciously or consciously) and then tell your responsibility, oh you should respect me because ai had you. Try telling your bill collector that. You made the obligation, now you deal with it. You don’t get extra points for that. Smh. Your reward in the end is, if you invested in the child, they will reinvest in you when you are old. That’s it. Pay attention to the exchange of energy bc we do.
I'm a "blk American" and have never thought or said this. Stop generalizing
Ooofff that's a word "pay attention to the exchange of energy"
We are so focused on being the victim these days that everything is “trauma.” Everyone is an armchair psychiatrist now. I get so tired of hearing everybody throw around some new psychology term they just learned like they are an expert and now they label anything as negative. As a former child protection worker, I will continue to call not feeding kids, emotionally berating or verbally/physically/medically abusing kids exactly what it is. Telling my child to better himself or look presentable instead of like a thug is NOT abuse or disrespect.
As a Caribbean child I understand what this feels like.The reality is as parents we need to know it’s Not What we say is how we say it. We tend to consider other people feelings when talking to them about bettering themselves but talk to our children like TRASH. Why couldn’t it be in a manner of up lifting him by telling him how important he is to first himself and then to her. Why does it have to be in a berating manner.
These words came from a place of wanting him to do what she say instead of guiding.
Providing for a child is the bare minimum. Now people get gold stars and a free pass to emotionally detach simply because they got pregnant? That's insane. If you're going to be hard on a kid, you better balance it out with love, support, understanding and genuinely LISTENING TO THEM. Their feelings and thoughts are valid and worthy of being heard.
@@MomsmindsetTransform💯💯💯💯🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
@@JustineEllushon Yassssss💯💯💯💯💯.. we have to do better
Well said. Ppl want to be victims so badly
Yes, let’s heal! We have the resources now. Even ten years ago people weren’t really discussing this. Still hard to find real “therapists/healers” but doable. And so much more support! An important and brave post! 💜
Who's we??? Do we all live in one house???
Yes!! And @meghan We as a community. People who relate to this experience. If it's not you, God bless!
Period.
Let's heal. 💛
Let's 💖💖
How do Haitian men treat Haitian women??? Serious question❓
Like $hit
@@ItsMyOpinion-sd2iz I've always heard to beware of them but I've only met one. 🤔 Now that I think about it, he a whole f-boy. He married my friend. The plan was for him to move permanently to Florida with her a week after their honeymoon. Welp, their 2yr anniversary is this May and he's still living in New York and she's still in Florida. 🤦🏾♀️
@@AshleyJohnson-xd1ei my mom's coworker is Haitian,as is her husband. He's 10 years older and still doesn't do right by her. Had a side baby. Goes to their country months at a time, screwed up her credit and more. My uncle's friend is a Haitian scammer. His parents have the nerve to not like Americans tho. Yet they moved to America
@@ItsMyOpinion-sd2izI live in South Florida and you show beat me to it
They don't have the best reputation with Haitian women. That's why my theory is that maybe its because they remind them of their mothers but not in a good way...
Lessons could be learned from an immigrants parents struggle. Some of those parents (like the mom in the video) is most likely acting out of fear that her child will forget that. I’ll say it if no one else will - lots of Caribbean parents see the negativity and downright degradation that is happening in the Black American community and they don’t want their kids to end up like that. The delivery may be harsh but there’s a point to be made.
Omg!!! Thank you !! I say this all the time …. It’s simply fear .. cut folks a break
Oh it's definitely based on fear, but they're still responsible and we have to hold them to it like we hold ourselves accountable. You can be afraid but your actions have an effect on people, especially children. If they don't know better, teach them.
I don’t see the verbal abuse on the Mother’s part:…It appears that the Young lady don’t know the dynamics of the young man and his Mother relationship.
You don't see it, which is why it's being pointed out to you. Be part of the problem if you like, but I and my generation of black parents prefer to be part of the solution.
Thanks for your honesty, but what I will say is that you would have to look beyond just the words the mother used. The whole interaction comes from a place of negativity or hurt/trauma... We're so used to this that some of us don't even see the wrong in it which makes me very sad. But like someone else said new generations can have a trained eye to spot where we should improve on what we learned from our parents because most of them simply didn't know better
Also, the young man posted that video because many people with Haitian parents can relate, including myself. We got used to finding humour in this kind of dynamic, but deep down a lot of us have scars from it.
People kill me with these theories…. Raise a person to at least age 25 and then post your story… u don’t know what parenting is until after you’ve done it…. Right now you are speaking on what being raised was like
So she has to raise a child to adulthood to understand why children shouldn't be mistreated?
@@kitaboo206sounds like a person who lacks patience.
Treating people with respect has nothing to do with age or experience.
Baby, its not about coming to America and learning no systems and language. That type of treatment from home is very relevant in our home countries. Africa, Haiti etc....
I understand but I said that because a lot of people say that they are that way because they struggled so we should just take it from them because we didn't go through what they went through.....
This is a whole "nother culture Boo. The title is misleading. He is NOT a child. She didnt do anything wrong
This is my culture: the Haitian culture. It is HER child. This behaviour usually starts from the beginning.
According to the comments this isn't problematic. All I can say is I'm glad my mother's response to my smiling "Hi Mom" isn't to drag me on sight. I'm sorry that this is normal and acceptable for some people. I'm sorry that some people have to remind themselves that there is mother's love somewhere in there "deep down" 😢
Certainly, Haitian parents often express their love solely through tough love, yet deep down, their affection for you is profound. I believe this perspective is largely influenced by culture.
I hear you, but in some cases I do think we need to recognize what's genuine tough love and not misconstrue it with denigration...