id just drink so many slushies that are actually healthy for me. I could get rid of everything bad in them and basically make them water but TASTE like slushies. id be so much more hydrated. (note; i do not drink slushies like ever but DAMN they good)
But note that every cup is not made out of thin air, but rather the materials are taken from somewhere. So the question is... who or what would lose said intelligence?
@@jasmynni3 wow so edgy. fr i don't like him either but jokes like this make every anti-trumper seem like a dumb bandwagon-follower and only weakens anti-trump arguments. also no need to make a random comment section political, it's the yt equivalent of a nuke
i would ask for a cup of the detailed story of my car crash. i can remember every little detail that happened, and can write a 1000-2000 word essay on it.
@@Gamer_G33k Liquid carbon wouldn't exist in Earth's air pressure, or at least not for very long. That might be this SCP's limit, though it seems fine with producing liquids of high temperatures.
It's because a diamond is per definition the solid from of carbon with a crystal structure. Why things like feelings or memory can have a liquid form? My theory is that those are things we never gave the concept of a physical state before.
@@Gamer_G33k I mean to say that, because of carbon's specific chemical properties, it wouldn't exist as a liquid long enough to even be poured into the cup. It would immediately solidify into something like graphite and probably clog up the dispenser. Hence why such a machine would probably avoid substances that could potentially hinder its operation. Otherwise, if it is capable of producing things that violate the laws of physics in our universe, you could potentially end up with a situation like in the novel "The Gods Themselves" by Isaac Asimov. The machine would begin altering universal forces, like the strong and weak nuclear forces, in order to produce the requested liquids. Basically rewriting the laws of physics for our entire universe (or at the very least a localized area around the cup) in order to complete the request. Luckily it doesn't appear to have that kind of capability. Otherwise they have a potentially universe-ending machine sitting in the breakroom and don't realize it.
You didn't mention: A member of the investigation personnel once requested "the best drink to ever exist" upon request, the machine began to shake slightly and produce a purple liquid, after trying the drink the subject started crying saying it was indeed, the best drink to ever exist. A few weeks later the same subject committed suicide and left a note that read: sorry but after something like that; everything else is a disappointment.
Dr. [DATA EXPUNGED]: "What do you want to drink?" Dr. [REDACTED]: "Surprise me." Dr. [DATA EXPUNGED]: "Okay." *types Surprise me* *SCP 294 dispenses what looks like plain water* *gets burnt by boiling hot water*
Imagine if SCP 294 could produce liquids that don't exist, like "liquid pet", a substance that when poured, coagulates into a random, well-trained pet that will bond with anyone on sight.
I like the test where they asked the machine for "something Cassy would like". Note: Cassy is SCP-085, a two-diemsional living drawing of a female named Cassy. The vending machine, upon receiving the order, dispense a drawing of what was said to be a chocolate banana milkshake. Cassy said it was delicious.
Not gonna mention the time a researcher asked the coffee machine for "Something Cassy would like?" It turned out to be a drawing of a chocolate banana milkshake with whipped cream, which Cassy greatly enjoyed.
By far my favorite SCP. The fact that it potentially has the ability to bring extinct species back amazes me, like, let’s just bring back the dinosaurs!
50 cents per 12 oz. That translates to ~$50 per barrel of liquid oil. It should be noted, however, that this machine doesn't create anything. Cannonicaly, it removes the requested fluid or components of said fluid from somewhere else in the world. Hence, Agent Joe requiring medical attention after asking for a cup of himself, and the compound fluid disapearing after being retrieved by the machine. So really, the USA would just be stealing oil. Now given today's political climate, that's nothing new, but still.
One person apparently requested “the perfect drink”, and went into shock after drinking the odourless, lavender liquid. He later commuted suicide, stating in the note that everything felt like a let down after. Neat!
I think there was something about a D class asking for “the best drink ever”, and receiving a lavender colour drink, after consumption, he killed himself later that night as now everything was a let down compared to the drink
Dude, the amount of great drinks you could make with this is crazy. You could request for a cup of love and either receive the best feeling in the form of liquid or a sticky substance that you were not expecting.
@@allypoitras627 I imagine that if you place the machine above an oil reservoir and ask for crude oil, it'll remove the oil from the Earth. It removes the need for expensive drill and processing. You can then just skip straight to oil refinement.
I feel I should also mention that one time someone had requested "SCP-682 Killer" and the machine produced a purplish liquid that, when poured on 682, actually did damage! The liquid is currently undergoing analysis in order to finally end 682
Its safe and even good for mankind the problem is that being able to produce any liquid substance for example black matter or a cup of ácid if the Scp foundation where able to program the Scp to limit its "drinks" it would be awesome
SrLópez that would defeat the purpose tho. Also that would limit the amount of test they can do on it, also they might ruin the machine if they try to dissemble or reprogram it, which would be to big of a risk considering the value it has.
@@Christopherus_Jordanus ok i stooped that someone from pressing enter and made him drink acid insted, dont ask how im here but can i join the founation
Look up the luty sub machine gun he was a fire arms activist who opposed gun control and to show how pointless and ineffective restrictions where against dedicated people he released a guide on how to make a sub machine gun fully automatic of course using no special equipment and only basic materials which could be found at any basic hardware store. Checkout forgotten weapons video on it for more .
i would asked for the next liquids: "a cup that give me godly powers" "a cup of imunity to all deseases" "A cup of Condensed fear" just to see what would come out
Someone asked for "god" the result was a shining liquid that made an explosion which wiped out everything in a 20 meter radius i believe, so yeah, probably not a good idea.
SCP-096 test: D-class: *gives the drink and leaves* SCP-096: drinks obediently as asked, but instantly spits it after 5 seconds and, now enraged, kills everyone in a nearby vicinity. [TEST FAILED, Result: violent containment breach] SCP-682 test: Researcher: *gives the drink and leaves* SCP-682: .............................. *grunts mockingly* ... you guys think, I'm that dumb? You're even more pathetic than I thought. I know, it's [DATA EXPUNGED] and, no, I'm not gonna drink it, you apes. Researchers: it's..... what? What did you named it? SCP-682: *roars angrily* Haven't you clean your [EXPLETIVE] ears, you [EXPLETIVE]. Get this cup out of my sight. [TEST FAILED, Result: SCP-682 rejected the consumption] Researcher: _Apparently, he knows what this substance is. No wonder he reacted this way._
Security guard 1: "I would like a cup of Joe" Security guard 2: "What's Joe?" Security guard 1: *Joemama* Security guard 2: DANG IT!!!! Me: I wished that happened
For anyone curious a Vienna Lager is essentially most "Amber" style beers (Samual Adams is considered a Vienna style lager) the primary ingredient used is Malt for this process (Vienna malt)
SCP-294 Potentially dangerous, based on what a person requests. The guards are there not to protect people from it. But to protect people from themselves.
few fun scps: The Big Orange Forklift: Anomalous Effect: you really want to ride the forklift Never-Ending Pizza Box: Anomalous Effect: it’s in the name, duh Coffee Machine: Anomalous Effect: you can get any drink you want, even a cup of joe (not recommended)
brains is just chemicals and memories are just chemically activated switches. So it's possible there exists a drug that could give you perfect recall of every event of your life. Hell, there are people alive with perfect memory that could tell you what happened on a specific date.
Probably white, and drinking it will make you feel the puns and nonsense in a way you never did. However you find that humor will define what it made you feel.
nah but fr if scps were real i'd just think of every scp i saw or thought about and think of shy guy, i cant think of anything good when i say "think of something good"
Joe:no I chosen being the experiment that have 30% die of lack of blood which I dont know why did I risk it. me:Why do I have a feeling that D-class is smarter than Joe
Imagine passed the insanely rigorous tests to become a security gaurd at the SCP foundation having to put your life on the line for your entire life, being exposed to horrors beyond anything you could imagine... and having to guard a vending maching
Imagine the random shit you could make: Want to sing really good, put in “Power to perfectly sing anything.” Other random stuff like: “Cancer Cure” “Cup of Mario” “Good game development skills” “A good book idea” If it can make abstract stuff like love and music, it can do some other stuff.
Me: A cup of diamond
294: Sorry, only things that can be turned into a liquid
This guy: Cup of music
294: Yes boss
mr. speedwagon what are you doing here??? shouldnt u be narrating a fight or something
H
When I drink alcohol enough, my ears ring. This could be music.
@@sr.skulletongrin8755 I swear to God, if "Cup of music" gives me tinnitus then that's hilarious XD
Robert E. O. Speedwagon but I have tinnitus 🥺
"A Cup of blood from my worst enemy"
Repeat until person is dead.
Then you recognize that you are your worst enemy
Dezin mood
bruh im not tryna die
a cup of brain
ask for a cup of their white blood cells, they'd die to some of the simplest, most common bacteria and viruses around them.
“Can only produce items that can exist in a fluid state”
*makes liquid music*
nope...made a liquid was change the brain like LSD...
music isn't technically an item so it doesn't break that rule
**makes a part of Joseph**
They Should ask for a cup of super-critical fissile materials! Lol
What about healing potions?
“SCP-294 can produce anything that can exist in a liquid state.”
Also SCP-294: producing a cup of music.
Well I mean you can make a fluid out of a sheet of music
Do you not drink music? My favorite flavor is Nocturnes No. 1
it seems to suggest that non-materialistic objects can indeed exist in fluid form, we have not discovered how though.
Music is just a sound wave, sound waves can move through gasses and liquids, it just dispensed music in a liquid
@@forkliftcertifiedguy7 I like drinking Moonlight Sonata 3rd Movement
This is a perfect example of "Becareful what you wished for"...
Genius
"Cuz baby you might get more"
Smart as ever
@@rebeccabernardo2263 LMFAOOO
@@rebeccabernardo2263 xDDD
Me: orders "immortality"
Everyone else: We got another dr. Bright now.
probably can if you request for elixir of immortality....but then do you'd most likely be contained and be another lab rat like Connor
I think someone tried that in the SCP game only to get whacked by the SCP known as God saying "that's not allowed"
@@brothersgt.grauwolff6716 lol
Xalcon I
I have
I have no
I can’t even
I can’t even think rn
I
That’s genius
Drinks immortality...
You : taste.... Bitter.
500 years later...
Also you : plz kill me
Imagine goin up to a coffee machine and getting “Liquid Gold Velveeta Cheese”
Ew
🤤🤤
@@Bousiefadehouse idk how u do that
🐝🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯🍯
😳
I've never wished for something fictional, to be so darn real.
I would have loved to order and drink a cup of intelligence.
id just drink so many slushies that are actually healthy for me. I could get rid of everything bad in them and basically make them water but TASTE like slushies. id be so much more hydrated. (note; i do not drink slushies like ever but DAMN they good)
DAMN RIGHT THEY'RE GOOD
I’d love to have my own scp 294
I’d choose
LEAN.
But note that every cup is not made out of thin air, but rather the materials are taken from somewhere.
So the question is... who or what would lose said intelligence?
This is the best and most useful SCP i have ever seen like you could literally ask for "the best chocalate milk" and boom good choccy milk
this as a chance to save the damn world, type in destroyer entity bone and you'll probabky get the material to make the chains agai
i've heard story that one day someone ask for "the perfect drink" and then commit suicide because "everything is a big dissapointment now"
@@someguyyoufoundonyoutube8744 Better yet, ask for the spinal fluid of the destroyer until it's dead
@@ameershehzad1080 thanks i hate it
If u think that is useful then look up scp 662
“A cup of Joe”
Well, it wasn’t lying.
It was a cup of Joe. Literally.
Lol its a cup of Joe
OOOOOOOOHHHH lol I'm so stupid
joe = Joseph
I WOULD LIKE A CUP OF DONALD TRUMP'S HEAD
@@jasmynni3 wow so edgy. fr i don't like him either but jokes like this make every anti-trumper seem like a dumb bandwagon-follower and only weakens anti-trump arguments. also no need to make a random comment section political, it's the yt equivalent of a nuke
Me: types “cup of cure for cancer”
Also me: thank me later
Am I a joke to you
then also for the pandemic virus!
@@cassy121 Why not ask it for a cup of cure for the Pestilence?
@@yurishusband8329 true
Scp 500 is a pill that cures all diseases so you don’t need that
I wish i could drink the "my life" cup, so i could remember everything and laugh at the things i did when i was little :)
You would also remember every embarrassing moment
i would ask for a cup of the detailed story of my car crash. i can remember every little detail that happened, and can write a 1000-2000 word essay on it.
@@thepizzacarpizza1056 how long ago was your car crash
@@thepizzacarpizza1056 and get more from the insurance company!
You would also permanently remember every single traumatic/scary moment and carry it to your grave
*types joe*
294: what’s joe
“Joe mama”
“Hey now I feel dizzy”
Oh no
asks for cup of candace
**GETS TEXT THAT MY MOM IS IN THE HOSPITAL**
@@corruptedtwo576 there's no such thing as corrupted 2 *web soft
@@Pinki_owo-j3t Give me your coffee
@@boboffical3004 *gives you my coffee*
294: *Can’t make liquid diamond
Also 294: *Makes a cup of love
Which is weird, because, why cant it just dispense liquid carbon?
@@Gamer_G33k Liquid carbon wouldn't exist in Earth's air pressure, or at least not for very long. That might be this SCP's limit, though it seems fine with producing liquids of high temperatures.
It's because a diamond is per definition the solid from of carbon with a crystal structure.
Why things like feelings or memory can have a liquid form?
My theory is that those are things we never gave the concept of a
physical state before.
@@phillewis2630 It dispensed meta physical concepts in liquid state. It can probably dispense liquid carbon.
@@Gamer_G33k I mean to say that, because of carbon's specific chemical properties, it wouldn't exist as a liquid long enough to even be poured into the cup. It would immediately solidify into something like graphite and probably clog up the dispenser. Hence why such a machine would probably avoid substances that could potentially hinder its operation.
Otherwise, if it is capable of producing things that violate the laws of physics in our universe, you could potentially end up with a situation like in the novel "The Gods Themselves" by Isaac Asimov. The machine would begin altering universal forces, like the strong and weak nuclear forces, in order to produce the requested liquids. Basically rewriting the laws of physics for our entire universe (or at the very least a localized area around the cup) in order to complete the request. Luckily it doesn't appear to have that kind of capability. Otherwise they have a potentially universe-ending machine sitting in the breakroom and don't realize it.
The SCP personnel clapping for Joe's recovery is the wholesome support we all need.
exactly!
I thought he died?
Meanwhile in the middle of nowhere on the ocean SACRIFICING D class for Forgeti juice
@@KellyTheReiss what happened if person insert too much coin over thousand of tons into machine that
@@KellyTheReiss what happened if person insert too much coin over thousand of tons into machine that
"a cup of joe"
This guy knows what he's doing
Joe: *Asks for a cup of Joe*
294: *Literally makes a cup of Joe*
*Get Nae Nae'd*
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888scp[pllllllllllllllllllllluuuykh6yffffffffffffffferts nhessewd34tbtweq21r54ee43\
prankd!
@Elijah Bernard are8😉2
JOE MAMA!!!
@@iFeark exxtdd655drrr46343w34fe4yr6u4u65r65u54ee5y4yu44ru5t4yew542rt11wr3t4h4ry5453ey43w
You didn't mention:
A member of the investigation personnel once requested "the best drink to ever exist" upon request, the machine began to shake slightly and produce a purple liquid, after trying the drink the subject started crying saying it was indeed, the best drink to ever exist.
A few weeks later the same subject committed suicide and left a note that read: sorry but after something like that; everything else is a disappointment.
wait what.
well fuck-
He be chasing that purple dragon
Lean
Aw HEALL NAW
Dr. [DATA EXPUNGED]: "What do you want to drink?"
Dr. [REDACTED]: "Surprise me."
Dr. [DATA EXPUNGED]: "Okay." *types Surprise me*
*SCP 294 dispenses what looks like plain water*
*gets burnt by boiling hot water*
lol
Lmaooo
This comment of yours should have more likes
Ally Poitras they did not come up with it , it’s something on the actual scp article
Shut up and take my like
Imagine if SCP 294 could produce liquids that don't exist, like "liquid pet", a substance that when poured, coagulates into a random, well-trained pet that will bond with anyone on sight.
"I want... Dr. Pepper."
The doctor named pepper:
underrated comment
Pepper be like ಠ_ಠ
Pepper: *Oh faq*
“I want dr.pepper”
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Dr.pepper: I don’t feel so good mr stark
I like the test where they asked the machine for "something Cassy would like". Note: Cassy is SCP-085, a two-diemsional living drawing of a female named Cassy. The vending machine, upon receiving the order, dispense a drawing of what was said to be a chocolate banana milkshake. Cassy said it was delicious.
I remember. That was adorable.
Yes. I wish SCP-294 existed. So i could ask for a cup of "September from earth wind and fire" and so after drinking, i would start to dance
wasn't there a guy who ordered a drink that was so good that he killed himself because "everything else was just one big letdown"?
It was a cup of god, I believe
@@masonwithee6831 The perfect drink actually
Yeah I remember that. He must have edited it out.
Yeah, there was even Jesus Blood
Everybody gangsta till dio requests a dio diary
This one is actually kinda wholesome. I'd legit have that coffee machine in my office, had it been a real thing...
Wouldn't everyone
Not gonna mention the time a researcher asked the coffee machine for "Something Cassy would like?" It turned out to be a drawing of a chocolate banana milkshake with whipped cream, which Cassy greatly enjoyed.
Aw, that's actually pretty wholesome.
Cassy?
And a guy asked the perfect drink then committed suicide
@@georgiecarapella3274 yeah…
@@afailureofaanimator6744 SCP-085, a living drawing
"Can only produce items that can exist in a fluid state."
Me, an intellectual: "Cat."
Machine: Your requested liquid are beyond my reality.
@@notfunnnydude C A T G I R L
@@socialistrepublicofvietnam1259 oh shit
Don't let him be a class d
You'll get bodily fluids from a cat
@@mateololero4091 cat are fluid
Agent: Hey, can i get something?
SCP 294: Sure, what do you need?
Agent: I need a hug.
SCP 294: *becomes animate and hugs agent*
Noice
New agent/me: *asks permission to use the machine* (not real. Just acting)
*makes you a cup of scp 999
Hol'up
Can i have a cup of Cartoon cat
This SCP is the entire embodiment of the character “WHO WANTS CAWFEE”
GIVE ME CAWFEE, PLEASE.
What if they asked for liquid Scp 500
Agent:*"Types in 'Cup of Joe'"*
Scp-294:What's that?
Agent: Joe Mama
Scp-294:*"Takes DNA and Blood"*
I knew this was going to pop out
**Boho Salon flashbacks**
Can I have a joe
A joe
Can I have a joe
Joe biden
Yes
lolol
SCP-049: *Enters the cure for the plague*
SCP-294: *Dispenses nothing*
Every personel around SCP-049: *Confused screaming*
LMFAOOO this needs to be a comic
That's because.....There is no cure....
The only cure is the doctors. He's said it multiple times.
😂 nice
@@derpcade *dispenses liquid doctor*
No one:
Scp staff: there's something in that drink that just makes ME wanna BUST A MOVE
UNDERRATED COMMENT
I wonder if he can make cxxm
Lmao
lucio moment
Lmao 😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂
By far my favorite SCP. The fact that it potentially has the ability to bring extinct species back amazes me, like, let’s just bring back the dinosaurs!
Me: "Can I please get a cup containing everyone who loves me?"
Also me: "why is the cup empty"
Edit: I'm okay. thanks for asking though
294: that’s because I love you.
Its becouse no one lovesyou :p
Edit: BRUH attention seeker.
XD
Good to see you're doing ok m8
100th like
"a cup of 682"
scp 682: I SENSE SOMEONE STEALING MY TOILET PAPER
Better to get a deadly poison that kills SCP682
@@linhmeongunuong but then SCP 053 would lose her best friend and guardian :(
@《The Crazy Family Check》 the little girl.
@《The Crazy Family Check》 or young girl pretty much
@@aeaea_kirke i love how that experiment turned out. and i love how 682 isnt just a killing machine like some other SCP's.
USA realizing they can have Oil for 50 cents
With the current price of oil That’s just a lot of money
Time to liberate that coffee machine!!
50 cents per 12 oz. That translates to ~$50 per barrel of liquid oil. It should be noted, however, that this machine doesn't create anything. Cannonicaly, it removes the requested fluid or components of said fluid from somewhere else in the world. Hence, Agent Joe requiring medical attention after asking for a cup of himself, and the compound fluid disapearing after being retrieved by the machine. So really, the USA would just be stealing oil. Now given today's political climate, that's nothing new, but still.
OBJECTION! SMG4 is Australian not all meme ers are American is what I’m saying
And gasoline over here in England! It’s priced at fucking £1.62 per litre!
"SCP-294 can only deliver substances that can exist in liquid state"
SCP-294: *proceeds to create a cup of someone's life story*
Me types: a cup of the rubber
Inside the cup: "hello everybody, Im the rubber, today we bring you scp-294"
Stolen comment
or his insides will be present in the cup
*gulp*
Every1:huuuuuuuuhaaaaaaa😨😨😨😱
Me:hi rubber
Rubber:what's he gonna say
XD
The machine after giving Joseph a “cup of Joe”: Why are you booing me? I’m right.
He is right though.
@@noahi.1381 upgrage this machine with a prompt command type act
It's literally just doing its job. Poor SCP.
R/technicallythetruth
"a cup of Joe"
that machine is a smartass lmao
the smart ass machine (sing song voice)
joe mama
Joseph : gimmie a cup of joe
Machine : Ok smartass
I dont understand
@@Laurentino-r1i joe is coffee
One person apparently requested “the perfect drink”, and went into shock after drinking the odourless, lavender liquid. He later commuted suicide, stating in the note that everything felt like a let down after. Neat!
I think there was something about a D class asking for “the best drink ever”, and receiving a lavender colour drink, after consumption, he killed himself later that night as now everything was a let down compared to the drink
Dumbass could have just came everyday to visit the vending machine scp and request the same drink smh
@@cannibalman8175 He'd need to get permission every time and it takes a while for stuff to get approved
@@cannibalman8175 He's a D-class. They don't have rights. He's a disposable test subject.
lean 💜💜💜
@@z_Blitzy_z he enjoys lean
“Music tastes like alcohol.”
Makes sense to me.
Concert lol
You get drunk then dance
Coachella makes so much sense now
Considering there are some SCPs that can kill you within a second guarding a magic coffee machine isn’t that bad
300th like :)
303rd like 👀
590th like 👀
infinite coca cola machine
Anyone else realize you can order a cup of water from the fountain of youth from it or just me..
The ability to recall every aspect about my entire life would be unequivocally incredible. I would drink such a drink in a heartbeat.
Dude, the amount of great drinks you could make with this is crazy. You could request for a cup of love and either receive the best feeling in the form of liquid or a sticky substance that you were not expecting.
Sticky substance.. 😳
Oh boy
in the scp video game you can actually type feces in the machine and it makes it. The character won't drink it tho.
"sticky substance that you were not expecting"
*W O K E*
@@matyaskassay4346 Hmm I wonder why
USA when they realize it can produce oil: I’LL tAkE yOuR eNtIrE sToCk
YeS but it takes liquids from other places so wouldn't that just be putting the gas that's already in a tank into a cup
@@allypoitras627 but how do you explain the "my life drink"
@@metal9076 it came from another dimension
Ally Poitras if it’s not from your tank, it’s not your problem
@@allypoitras627 I imagine that if you place the machine above an oil reservoir and ask for crude oil, it'll remove the oil from the Earth. It removes the need for expensive drill and processing. You can then just skip straight to oil refinement.
Me: Cup of stupidity
Coffee Machine: Empty cup with the label "YOU" on it.
A cup of my blood
I feel I should also mention that one time someone had requested "SCP-682 Killer" and the machine produced a purplish liquid that, when poured on 682, actually did damage! The liquid is currently undergoing analysis in order to finally end 682
@@dibs6462 ye why kill 682 it could actually be useful
note: 682 is not the machine
682 does not love lean
Me tiping:something that makes dr brights not a maniac
Scp-294:This liquid can not be made.
stick the liquid in scp-914 on coarse to dismantle the liquid into ingredients?
Video: *Its safe for human use*
Random guy named Joe: **Types cup of Joe**
SCP: **Gives him his own blood**
Me: *Totally safe*
Its safe and even good for mankind the problem is that being able to produce any liquid substance for example black matter or a cup of ácid if the Scp foundation where able to program the Scp to limit its "drinks" it would be awesome
Hol up couldn't we also end the world if we type in blackhole?
SrLópez that would defeat the purpose tho. Also that would limit the amount of test they can do on it, also they might ruin the machine if they try to dissemble or reprogram it, which would be to big of a risk considering the value it has.
sscookiebuiscuit
Black hole doesn’t have a liquid form
Well he recoverd
Someone: Starts typing “Atomic”
SCP294: One big bang coming up.
Personel Termination Allowed
@@Christopherus_Jordanus ok i stooped that someone from pressing enter and made him drink acid insted, dont ask how im here but can i join the founation
Type "something" into 294 in Containment Breach, see what happens.
Scp 294: what type of beverage would you like?
Me: A cup of Memes.
It is possible
Every single meme in existence floods your brain
You're suddenly know every meme that could make someone laugh in existence
Oh no...
EVERYONE, BEGIN A MEME CHAIN FOR THIS MAN:
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Me: *puts in "a cup that can give you all the knowledge you need to make a gun"*
5 minutes later,
Me: holy shit I know how to make a machine gun!
Ratattattatatatatattatatatattata
Me:puts in "a cups that can give you power can see future"
Me:"see 2030 won't exit. "
Me:fuc-
Look up the luty sub machine gun he was a fire arms activist who opposed gun control and to show how pointless and ineffective restrictions where against dedicated people he released a guide on how to make a sub machine gun fully automatic of course using no special equipment and only basic materials which could be found at any basic hardware store. Checkout forgotten weapons video on it for more .
Imagine "a cup that can kill scp 682
i would asked for the next liquids:
"a cup that give me godly powers"
"a cup of imunity to all deseases"
"A cup of Condensed fear"
just to see what would come out
Someone asked for "god" the result was a shining liquid that made an explosion which wiped out everything in a 20 meter radius i believe, so yeah, probably not a good idea.
@@cowabungaitis9319 can I ask for A Pecific Flavour of Coke or-
Red bull that actually gives you wings
imma put dinosaur dna into there and imma make myself a scp-294-1
I hope they approve you to be their worker 👏👏👏
Imagine putting “Corona Vaccine” in the machine
That will be OOF moment ngl
oh so truuuuuuue idw corona next to my bedroom
Scp will invent covid-19 vaccine
SCP-049 have breach containment to write pestilence cure on it
HE IS TOO DANGEROUS TI BE KEPT ALIVE!!!!!
catch me ordering "no calorie chocolate milk" so i can finally live my dream of drinking gallons of the stuff without becoming SPC 2059
You did SCP 2059 DIRTY DAMN
I'd ask for Garefield Juice
"My life"
i would get a drink so i can rememeber everything when i lost everything on every game
"Nah I just want a cup of Joe"
"Joe?"
"Joe who?"
"J O E M A M A"
funniest shat I ever saw
LOL
Then somewhere in the world, a kid named Joe found his mom passed out
Oh no
A cup of joe mama
The need to put in “a drink that calms you forever” and give it to shy guy
Thunder Wolf Could also work on the hard to destroy reptile.
SCP-096 test:
D-class: *gives the drink and leaves*
SCP-096: drinks obediently as asked, but instantly spits it after 5 seconds and, now enraged, kills everyone in a nearby vicinity.
[TEST FAILED, Result: violent containment breach]
SCP-682 test:
Researcher: *gives the drink and leaves*
SCP-682: .............................. *grunts mockingly* ... you guys think, I'm that dumb? You're even more pathetic than I thought. I know, it's [DATA EXPUNGED] and, no, I'm not gonna drink it, you apes.
Researchers: it's..... what? What did you named it?
SCP-682: *roars angrily* Haven't you clean your [EXPLETIVE] ears, you [EXPLETIVE]. Get this cup out of my sight.
[TEST FAILED, Result: SCP-682 rejected the consumption]
Researcher: _Apparently, he knows what this substance is. No wonder he reacted this way._
@@_Killkor damn that's good
Lol I thought you were referring to the Mario Shy Guys. Guess that would help them, too.
I don't think shy guy can consume drinks..
Security guard 1: "I would like a cup of Joe"
Security guard 2: "What's Joe?"
Security guard 1: *Joemama*
Security guard 2: DANG IT!!!!
Me: I wished that happened
Cool
didnt have to add the Me:
For anyone curious a Vienna Lager is essentially most "Amber" style beers (Samual Adams is considered a Vienna style lager) the primary ingredient used is Malt for this process (Vienna malt)
Joseph: “Can I have a cup of Joe.”
Coffee machine: “A cup of you? Ok!”
The name. Joseph?
“IT’S JOSEPH!”
Did he even go by Joe? Seems a little unfair.
Lauren O Joe is short for Joseph. Like how Tom is short for Thomas and Ben being short for Benjamin.
cup of mama?
gcdyrfbhcbdfhucbeufbcgecuyyugecgbghfvcyufy
A cup of my achievements in my life
294: request unknown
294:req-+ERROR+
Hey don't sell yourself short you've probably got tons of achievements if not look to the near future
*Request has been denied, nothing found*
@@giveyourlifetochrist6034 thanks for cheering me up but.. why do i even exist? for whom? for what? Why?!
@RYAN ZHAO sad
Imagine typing in
"Poison that can permanently kill scp 682"
It would probably just end up like any other insta-perma-kill attack's result against 682. Sure, it dies, but it gets better almost instantly.
"Vaccine 4 the gay!"
@@Fridaey13txhOktober Is that meant to be offensive towards gays?
THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING
@@Fridaey13txhOktober is that supposed to be offensive or?
"As well as instances that do not usually exist in liquid state, like Nitrogen"
Me: *Laughs in Liquid nitrogen, one of the most cold liquids*
Me, seeing that I am early to a video: **sips a cup of joe** ah, yes.
Same, but I had hot chocolate.
@@sakuratreeguy487 they won't let me have hot chocolate
I feel ya and I also have hot cocoa
Ah yes.
I had the blood of the king void...tastes like dead pigeons..
"Can I get a milkshake"
"Sorry bro vending machine broke"
"Understandable have a nice day"
SCP-294
Potentially dangerous, based on what a person requests. The guards are there not to protect people from it. But to protect people from themselves.
Last thing they need is someone ordering a cup of nuke or anti matter.
''a cup of black hole'' XK class end-of-the-world scenario triggered
@@AxisChurchDevotee me being shot by the guards after attempting to drink nuca-cola
Such as requesting the brain matter of whoever's name you type, or in Containment Breach where you can request anti-matter
@@AxisChurchDevotee can a nuke be a liquid?
few fun scps:
The Big Orange Forklift:
Anomalous Effect: you really want to ride the forklift
Never-Ending Pizza Box:
Anomalous Effect: it’s in the name, duh
Coffee Machine:
Anomalous Effect: you can get any drink you want, even a cup of joe (not recommended)
“After 50 uses it will no longer fulfill any requests for 90 minutes”
Everyone’s gotta take a break!
Even machines
securities: "wait, what are you requesting from scp 294"
me: err.... gamer girl bath wa....water.
security: " ahhh.... a man with 60 IQ"
Security: *reports this to the O5 Council*
O5 Council: Subject termination authorized.
you are simp, right
@@Schockmetamorphose no, I'm a shrimp
@@RayneShunner xD
@@RayneShunner Well im a lobster
One guy asked for “ The Perfect Drink” and killed himself later because everything just became a big letdown
yeah idk why he didn't mention that in the video
The drink or everything else except the drink
i saw a person ask for a cup of God and he also killed himself
facepalm* oh my pinking god.
Jean Léveillé lol good point idk maybe he was only allowed to have 1 turn at the coffee machine
4:13 This scp can make you feel “the experience”
*types* “a cup of s-“
@@Sp3ctralI i would type “a cup of fleshlight” to be more specific
" A cup of intelligence, please"
*UNABLE*
*OUT OF RANGE*
@@lucaspeng5063 ouch
Empty cup
*INSTANT SHUT DOWN*
That actually works in the Containment Breach game.
Your character basically says exactly what he needs to do to escape when he drinks it.
agent joseph: asks for a cup of joe
scp 294: "whos joe?"
agent joseph: "joe mama"
scp 294: self destructs
JFCMUFISJ-
JEBWOCEN-
bruh
DNDJEKSJSJSJ
lol
lol
I HATE EVERYONE WHO HATES ON THE RUBBER!!
HE IS AWESOME!!
People hate on him?
Loved the animations, and perfectly fits with the background music
Me too
We should find out away to brainwash people if they don't like the rubber into liking the rubber
@@corbincarroll1343 umm... THATS elligal
“A cup of good luck”
*Scientist proceds to finally kill scp-682 and gets the biggest promotion of his life.*
"Cannot create anything that cannot exist as a liquid, such as diamonds." *Creates someones life story* Not a plot hole at all.
Krzysztof Karpiński Does this mean that someone’s memories are capable of existing in a liquid state?
@Krzysztof Karpiński Me: *Fast Typing: "How to escape as Class-D personnel"*
SCP-294: *displays: "SORRY"*
@Krzysztof Karpiński I see.
brains is just chemicals and memories are just chemically activated switches. So it's possible there exists a drug that could give you perfect recall of every event of your life. Hell, there are people alive with perfect memory that could tell you what happened on a specific date.
Diatsu S counterpoint: magic box that makes almost any liquid substance known to man and can read your mind to do so.
*Input: “A cup of Half Life 3.”*
**pours**
*_there is nothing to drink_*
Half-Life Alyx?
Input: a cup of portal 3
**pours**
Output: portal stories mel (the closest thing you could really get to portal 3
A cup of tf3 pls
*nope*
There is something to drink
OHHH S H * T
“What would you like”
A cup of memes
Probably white, and drinking it will make you feel the puns and nonsense in a way you never did. However you find that humor will define what it made you feel.
It'd either be modern memes, or rage comic astetic.
The guy named Memes: 😳
@@MasterMarx who would name there child memes (also I know it’s a joke but names are stupid man people do that)
Actually in CB a cup of memes actually exists I forgot what it said but it’s funny
If I ever have a drink when I’m thirsty I might get some from the one called SCP-294 I’ll be totally satisfied with it. 👌😊
Me : Enters black hole.
Scp 294 : says it's dispensing
Me : sweats nervously
Then the machine suddenly starts going smaller
Frisher Gisher if that would happen, depending on the size of the black hole, we would all die in maybe 1-2 hours.
@@Victor-vc9br It happened once, then an unstable singularity appeared, destroyed everything (but the machine), and dissapeared.
Coffee machine: *exist
Me: A cup of T-Rex blood
Imagine if someone requests a rick roll for his friend
So we can pick the dna and make our t_rex
Stonk u p
jurassic world: non-extinction.
A cup of blood sounds good 😁🙂😀😃😄😁😐
Me: *Writes "Suprise me"*
SCP 294: *Releases a photo of the Shy Guy Face*
Me: WHY I TOOK THIS JOB?! SERIOUSLY WHY?!?!
You: *Try to record your story for last moments as shy guy hunts you down* So I was in the breakroom getting a drin-
O5: There's no breakroom on site!
hol' up
*Scp 096 wants to know your location*
nah but fr if scps were real i'd just think of every scp i saw or thought about and think of shy guy, i cant think of anything good when i say "think of something good"
F
5:58 okay I pull up hop out at the after party
Types: “Cure for anything”
*gets cyanide*
*A surprise to be sure, but a welcomed one*
that profil pic tho
@@zarahalora7567 he do be big brain tho
*gets a liquid version of SCP-500*
I used to know someone who drank cyanide and I can tell you, he never complained about his back pain again
Everyone talking about Joe... I'm honestly more intrigued at this whole abstract sentences and making people feel the experience... o.o
It creates drinks capable of producing you these sensations
A C U P O F S E X
@@vectoraz1435 Indeed.
A cup of madness
@@ludoviclacassagneii4737 A C U P O F S E X
The Rubber Uploads:
Me: Fastest Hand in the [REDACTED]
Haha
Dipper Pines yoo how tf did you get to [DATA EXPUNGED]
Izeec Clarke STAR PLATINUM
@@averagedoseofTSB Ora ora ora
Just like me
294: I cant make drinks out of things that cant be liquid.
Also 294: makes a cup of music
Joseph: “Can I have a Cup Of Joe?”
SCP-294: *“So you have chosen, death.”*
Joe:no I chosen being the experiment that have 30% die of lack of blood which I dont know why did I risk it.
me:Why do I have a feeling that D-class is smarter than Joe
So its rlly just a cup of joe
And his first 3 letters in his name is
"Joe"
so you have chosen 3 weeks of sickness
@@glowinganimations3721 doesn't sound like you're that much smarter...
When the professor asks for a cup of “ my life story”
Scp 294: gives an empty cup
294 actually
@@jacobwilliam9366 shut up and don't ruin the comment
@@jacobwilliam9366 shhh
@@jacobwilliam9366 Shhhh
Mahedi Lamim why comment if you don’t want a fucking opinion? He’s not the only one that’s ruining the reply section.
"I want a cup of Joe"
Coffee Machine: Joe what?
*"Joe Mama"*
machine: so you have chosen death
"I want a Joe"
**Albertstuff references intensifies**
@@mr.medic4580 a man of culture I see
@@mr.medic4580 if only flamingo was still like that
Tho he still good
copied but who cares?
YES,NOBODY.
copied or not,still poggers
I bet Agent Joseph got alot of coworkers hating him after he put in "A cup of joe" and got the vending machine closed off
I love how I got a coffee ad before watching this..
SCP-6000 is a standard mobile phone with the anomolous effect of making the adverts relevant to the video
@@thepeanut5747 the only remain owner of SCP-6000 remains unknown just met as Lunakitten 10 with an anime loli as a profile picture
**FNAF 2 HALLWAY AMBIENCE**
@Kawaii *Yeah-*
@Kawaii You need something?.
If only finding the cure to corona was this easy.
Ask for cure of Corana
another option: use SCP-500
Oh it is
Use it for Minecraft milk
"the red sea object. PART ONE"
therubber: *ill do it tommorow*
Intenze_playz nice picture : ^ )
@@adoodlingmonkey6247 thx u
Papyrus The skeleton have you seen sans?
☯︎ Misha ☯︎ he drank too much ketchup
☯︎ Misha ☯︎ i think he is at grillbys because he says my spaghetti is too cold :((((
Imagine passed the insanely rigorous tests to become a security gaurd at the SCP foundation having to put your life on the line for your entire life, being exposed to horrors beyond anything you could imagine...
and having to guard a vending maching
How to RICK ROLL the Staff
1)ask for a cup of Rick roll
2)give it to the staff
And DONE
Why do I hear rickroll
He's too dangerous to be left alive!
;/
more like how to give the staff food poisoning
Comes out with liquified rick astely
-"Hey SCP what coffee you got?"
-"I got Joe"
-"Who is Joe"
-"Joe Mama"
-"This SCP IS TOO DANGEROUS TO BE ALIVE!"
NightViber20 I just realized that the writer could have been doing that
Joe insides
@@jj100280 Uh, no?
I was about to say the same thing, lol
Me: Spine Fluid of Megaladon
Machine: Here you Go
Also me: Yeah I ain’t gonna swim no more
I want a cup of Leviathan class creature eye fluid
Machine: yup.
Me: Well... I never wanted to live on a skyscraper more than this
@@lydierayn Oh? you're going to live on a skyscraper?
* Requests a cup of jet fuel *
Yeah I wouldn't
Imagine the random shit you could make:
Want to sing really good, put in “Power to perfectly sing anything.”
Other random stuff like:
“Cancer Cure”
“Cup of Mario”
“Good game development skills”
“A good book idea”
If it can make abstract stuff like love and music, it can do some other stuff.