Dear Ife, I hope you’re doing well! I enjoyed this Dear Ife series with Vee. it was really insightful. I wanted to share my thoughts on this case as well--the woman who's been cheated on for over seven years. While the focus seems to be on whether she should stay or leave and the man’s reasons for opening up, I believe it’s important to digress and dig deeper because if the woman only focuses on the decision to stay or go, she might end up in a similar situation again with the man or other men. She should consider why she wasn’t aware of his affairs. Were there blind spots in how she engages in relationships. Was she avoiding conflict or suppressing her instincts? Was she overlooking or downplaying red flags just to keep the peace? Why was he able to deceive her for so long? Seven years? This suggests deeper issues in their communication and emotional connection as well as intimacy. They need to explore whether they’ve truly been in a healthy relationship or just filling a void for each other. Seven years is a long time to not notice these signs all things being equal. At this point, I think her focus should be on: Self-awareness to Reflect on her behaviors and patterns, attachment pattern, trust, and boundaries. Exploring her Relationship Dynamics to Understand why their relationship allowed such betrayal to go unnoticed and whether they’ve ever had a strong and worthy foundation. Make Meaning of the Relationship to Decide if they share a common purpose and whether to continue or part ways. It’s not about staying out of fear but finding a meaningful reason for either choice. Only after addressing these points can they consider reintegration, if possible. I hope these thoughts help her make a more informed decision beyond the surface level.
I have never paid attention to the rumors about Vee because I am not the type to decide based on gossip, but after watching this, I can say for a fact that if you do not love Vee's personality then you go de alright.... Cheers Dear Ife, I can't wait for the next episode.
Contrary to you and Vee’s opinion on men “coming clean” in the worst ways so they don’t have to be the one to initiate the break up, I personally feel he revealed all his secrets at that time to sort of gauge her threshold; if she can take this much garbage pre-marriage then she can take even more when it’s sealed. “Surely she’ll have to suck it up as she wouldn’t want to end up a divorcee”. I think she just needs to walk away and cut her losses.
It’s either he doesn’t want to marry her or he wants to have freedom to cheat freely going forward because now she knows and if she stays it’s because she wants to accept him as he is
Or he has contracted some disease from his messing around. I remember a story on bellanaija blog many years ago where a guy a came out "clean" to his fiance about cheating and it was because he had gotten one of the worst forms of HPV (which by the way he didn't mention that to her until she found out herself).
Exactly! He confessed so she can know what she’s getting into. Because if they eventually get married, that man will cheat 8 days in a week! Oh yes, I know there are 7 days in a week 😂🤣🤣🤣
As Ife was narrating the story, I was just saying ha, ha, ha, ha… I personally will not go on with the relationship. I love how Vee speaks and how she aired her opinion on this matter. To the lady that wrote in, my heart goes out to her, for her everlasting peace, she should just walk away.🚶♀️
What a good way to launch this series. Tell me IFE, is there anything you can't do so well? I enjoyed watching this! And Vee? Such a smart, self aware young woman. Loved it ❤
There’s something Vee said that just stood as the basis of my opinion on this matter…. Marriage is like building a house. The foundation on which the marriage is built will depend on how long it’s gonna last! Once you’ve destroyed a foundation there’s nothing that can be done, that house must eventually fall apart! With all he said? The foundation being laid for this marriage is not just shaky it’s damaged already no need to build on it. Even if he truly changes those pasts will always hunt that marriage one way or another. T for tenks.. meanwhile I absolutely enjoyed this episode thank you Aunty Ife and Vee ❤❤❤
I don’t just Stan a queen I Stan an intelligent one at that My Vee listening to her speak made me so happy and I wish she could have more episodes…learned alot from this ❤
Mission impossible Abort mission 😂😂 I love this episode. I love how straight forward Vee is. Remember never say never, especially when you’ve not been in certain shoes but all in all, be self aware to know what you can or can’t tolerate
This man has guts! aaaaaaloot of it! The lady should runaway, God has helped her. Vee I love how you speak and yes you do look Naomi Campbell ❤ welldone Miss Ife
I love Vee and I totally agree with her. Tbh, habits can't be changed just like that, it takes a lot of work for that to happen. Putting a ring on the finger will not be the magic to make him miraculously stop those things he listed, because they've become part of him consciously or unconsciously.
I agree with Ife; he doesn’t want to marry her. He might have even lied about some of the confessions. Men are very funny people, and just like Vee said: a man would do anything but break up with you. However, if his confession is true, run, sister, runnn!!! Ire o ❤
I didn't want it to end! We should have episode 2 oh, all in agreement say aye!😅 This combo is 🔥🔥🔥, Vee has always been a fave, good to see her here. Interesting conversations, we love it Ife!👏👏👏👏❤️❤️
There’s no headway in this relationship, this best option is to quit, if you truly value your mental health do not go ahead with this period. But at the end of the day you take the final decision so I wish you all the best.And vee ate this episode😍😍
I love love this episode. To the lady who sent that in, there's no 2 ways to your story that to run for your dear life. That guy is a walking red flag. Cheating is a deal breaker for me as a person. That man is definitely not gonna change. I so much love how Vee speaks. Welldone Ife ❤
I also think his reason might be that the nanny threatened to come clean, especially since they have been together for 9 years, and he didn't think to propose to her
Dear Ife, Thanks for this episode. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love the perspectives shared by both you and Vee. However, for me, I don't agree with continuing with a relationship where marriage was discussed and I was hoping for marriage but 4 years down the line, and we are both ready and able to get married but the other party doesn't seem to be interested. I would have a discussion with my partner, let them know I still hope for marriage and if their answer doesn't point towards them been interested in marriage, I would rather leave. I don't think I should have to sacrifice my desire for marriage on the altar of "we have a great relationship." What if tomorrow they decide that they want to get married to someone else after wasting my own time. I think everyone should have a timeline for their relationship after which if marriage is not on the table they should leave.
The man is up to something. Just because he confessed doesn’t mean you should go ahead with the wedding. You thought it was only you but he’s doing it with the nanny, ex wife, other women and even his own friend’s ex. If you marry him he will continue and tell you at least you knew he was like this before you married him. Run
I think I get where vee is coming from about the marriage thing. Sometimes I sit and think do I really want to get married or that’s just something I have to do.
My thoughts exactly when I watched . HE DOESN’T WANT TO MARRY HER , HE TOLD HER SO SHE CAN LEAVE ON HER OWN that way it won’t look he ended it . But for whoever sent that to you has thought of the possibility of forgiving him else any good thinking human will walk away …….
I am vee and vee is me!!!! The fact that my answers are similar to hers…. I would say I’ve been in love though, it was so draining because it was with the wrong person and I was very willing to make it work, but rn I couldn’t be happier that it ended 🥰 and going forward, not bending my rules for any one…. Yass
I think you both said it all. The man seems to be gauging her reaction. If she accepts this now, she has no reason to complain in the future. We should have talked about the Nanny who was even being slept with for 7years. How old is she? Is she married or she is waiting for Oga to marry her?
Nanny is definitely expecting him to marry her, she may probably be seeing herself as the mother of the kids already assuming that she spends so much time with them. What's the possibility that the Nanny hasn't been pregnant for once in the past years? Or that she's even pregnant at the time the man was making the confessions.
You have a lot of life to live and scenarios to experience if you can say there's no way cheating is a mistake. The physical act is consensual, the decision making and reasoning of whatever the partner was thinking... THAT'S the mistake. Sometimes they genuinely realize where their thought process was flawed, sometimes they only regret getting caught. The reflectiveness, humility, transparency and submission to accountability will show you the difference. BUT.... this guy doesn't want to get married, this confession is to prompt her to leave him. Because he's not even saying he's broken up with them, he's telling you that you've been the secondary your entire relationship...
I personally feel, since he's getting married, he must have been blackmailed and so had to confess rather than give in to the blackmail. Nevertheless, she should be happy he told her she was about jumping into fire. Its gonna hurt but not more than her being in the marriage with him. Nice one Ife and Vee, I enjoyed this.
Oh myyy....this was totally engaging and interesting to watch. I loooove❤. Can't wait for the next episode!. Back to the story..Why didn't he come clean before he engaged her, if he really wanted to be honest?What if he confessed only because the nanny threatened him? I don't believe he is remorseful. Just abort mission. I don't see how this will end well.
Like Ife said, it's never going to work. It is too much to handle and how do you even move on from such? Another thing is the question you asked Vee, for me it is so simple. Even in marriage, there is nothing like forgiving a cheating partner. I sincerely can't deal with it,
Dear Ife, Congrats on the successful launch of this segment, love it. Kindly note that the light work is kinda dull and affects the vision… please brighten it up a little more. Thanks
Na mumu dey allow society influence their personal decisions. Life is short. Live it on your own terms and do what makes you happy. Society does not care @@PoSHEmediaglobal
I think he’s told her all that so as to be able to enjoy the freedom to cheat in marriage. Tell me about “you know the kind of person I was before you married me”
Ife I enjoyed every bit of the conversation 😁. If I must say it ended too early😞 Vee is someone I admire, she's well spoken and a straight talker. Please tell her to kindly post more contents on her UA-cam channel. I can listen to her talk all day. Kudos to you both!
You don't trip and fall into genitals and then call it a mistake ~Veeiye👏
Vee speaks so eloquently, welldone Ife,cheers to DEAR IFE💖💖👏
❤
This statement is gold!
@@chikazoojiako4267 in all honesty,it is gold!
Dear Ife,
I hope you’re doing well! I enjoyed this Dear Ife series with Vee. it was really insightful.
I wanted to share my thoughts on this case as well--the woman who's been cheated on for over seven years. While the focus seems to be on whether she should stay or leave and the man’s reasons for opening up, I believe it’s important to digress and dig deeper because if the woman only focuses on the decision to stay or go, she might end up in a similar situation again with the man or other men.
She should consider why she wasn’t aware of his affairs.
Were there blind spots in how she engages in relationships. Was she avoiding conflict or suppressing her instincts? Was she overlooking or downplaying red flags just to keep the peace?
Why was he able to deceive her for so long? Seven years? This suggests deeper issues in their communication and emotional connection as well as intimacy. They need to explore whether they’ve truly been in a healthy relationship or just filling a void for each other. Seven years is a long time to not notice these signs all things being equal.
At this point, I think her focus should be on:
Self-awareness to Reflect on her behaviors and patterns, attachment pattern, trust, and boundaries.
Exploring her Relationship Dynamics to Understand why their relationship allowed such betrayal to go unnoticed and whether they’ve ever had a strong and worthy foundation.
Make Meaning of the Relationship to Decide if they share a common purpose and whether to continue or part ways.
It’s not about staying out of fear but finding a meaningful reason for either choice.
Only after addressing these points can they consider reintegration, if possible. I hope these thoughts help her make a more informed decision beyond the surface level.
I have never paid attention to the rumors about Vee because I am not the type to decide based on gossip, but after watching this, I can say for a fact that if you do not love Vee's personality then you go de alright.... Cheers Dear Ife, I can't wait for the next episode.
Contrary to you and Vee’s opinion on men “coming clean” in the worst ways so they don’t have to be the one to initiate the break up, I personally feel he revealed all his secrets at that time to sort of gauge her threshold; if she can take this much garbage pre-marriage then she can take even more when it’s sealed. “Surely she’ll have to suck it up as she wouldn’t want to end up a divorcee”. I think she just needs to walk away and cut her losses.
💯
Yepp..He’s asking for permission for the future
Exactly what I think too, he just want someone that can take his garbage then he’ll continue doing it comfortably if they eventually marry
Absolutely 💯
Exactly 💯
Who else came here because of VEeeeeeeee🎉❤
I did.
Meeeeee
Me oo😅
I did
Me♥️
Vee finally hints about she & Neo! And people were bashing her,smh
Vee is that girl❤
I really love this program Weldon 🌹 men well do everything to walk away
The way I ran here from IG na God save me say I no fall … Veeiye 🥰🥰🥰
🤣🤣😂😂😂
Me too
Not only you ooo my dear😅😅
Me sef ❤❤❤😂😂😂
Me too… my veeiye
i wanna hear Vee speak everyday all day😩💜. such a smart queen!
I swear you should keep Veeiye as a co-presenter. I love the combination of both of you.
Hahahaha. After we’ve exhausted the guests for this season o. But we love her.
I can listen to Vee talk all day her accent is beautiful… and yes she does look like Naomi❤
She also look like Brandy
Yes she really looks like her
Couldn't stop staring at Vee😊❤️ she's such a beauty to behold.
It’s either he doesn’t want to marry her or he wants to have freedom to cheat freely going forward because now she knows and if she stays it’s because she wants to accept him as he is
Exactly what I'm thinking.
Just to tell her full disclosure this is who you're marrying . Don't be shocked later
Exactly what i think too. He wants freedom to continue his mess because why now???
Or he has contracted some disease from his messing around. I remember a story on bellanaija blog many years ago where a guy a came out "clean" to his fiance about cheating and it was because he had gotten one of the worst forms of HPV (which by the way he didn't mention that to her until she found out herself).
Exactly! He confessed so she can know what she’s getting into. Because if they eventually get married, that man will cheat 8 days in a week! Oh yes, I know there are 7 days in a week 😂🤣🤣🤣
Excatly,you got it right
Omoh! It's not marriage yet, so imma definitely opt out.
VEE, never fails to get Me glued to hearing Her speak. I Love You Veeeeeee❤❤❤❤❤❤
Her(Vee) analysis and mannerisms nailed it for me. Well done guys
As Ife was narrating the story, I was just saying ha, ha, ha, ha… I personally will not go on with the relationship. I love how Vee speaks and how she aired her opinion on this matter. To the lady that wrote in, my heart goes out to her, for her everlasting peace, she should just walk away.🚶♀️
What a good way to launch this series. Tell me IFE, is there anything you can't do so well? I enjoyed watching this! And Vee? Such a smart, self aware young woman. Loved it ❤
Wow, thank you!
Here with the speed of light and for sure I know Vee will not disappoint! She’s an actual fire cracker😂
Ife please consider featuring Vee in subsequent episodes. Well done👏🏽
There’s something Vee said that just stood as the basis of my opinion on this matter…. Marriage is like building a house. The foundation on which the marriage is built will depend on how long it’s gonna last! Once you’ve destroyed a foundation there’s nothing that can be done, that house must eventually fall apart! With all he said? The foundation being laid for this marriage is not just shaky it’s damaged already no need to build on it. Even if he truly changes those pasts will always hunt that marriage one way or another. T for tenks.. meanwhile I absolutely enjoyed this episode thank you Aunty Ife and Vee ❤❤❤
I love this
I agree with you.
I don’t just Stan a queen I Stan an intelligent one at that My Vee listening to her speak made me so happy and I wish she could have more episodes…learned alot from this ❤
I can listen to Vee talk all day. I didn't want this to end
Mission impossible
Abort mission 😂😂
I love this episode. I love how straight forward Vee is. Remember never say never, especially when you’ve not been in certain shoes but all in all, be self aware to know what you can or can’t tolerate
Veeiye is so gorgeous! Her beauty is a discovery ❤
This man has guts! aaaaaaloot of it! The lady should runaway, God has helped her. Vee I love how you speak and yes you do look Naomi Campbell ❤ welldone Miss Ife
I love Vee and I totally agree with her. Tbh, habits can't be changed just like that, it takes a lot of work for that to happen. Putting a ring on the finger will not be the magic to make him miraculously stop those things he listed, because they've become part of him consciously or unconsciously.
Yeah, Vee is a sincere person. I am glad that she’s.
I ran here cos of my baby Veeeee🥺🤭
I agree with Ife; he doesn’t want to marry her. He might have even lied about some of the confessions. Men are very funny people, and just like Vee said: a man would do anything but break up with you. However, if his confession is true, run, sister, runnn!!! Ire o ❤
I didn't want it to end! We should have episode 2 oh, all in agreement say aye!😅 This combo is 🔥🔥🔥, Vee has always been a fave, good to see her here. Interesting conversations, we love it Ife!👏👏👏👏❤️❤️
Aye
That kindness cup helped Vee from going off from the moment Ife read number 1😆
It helped all our guests to keep it in. 😂
There’s no headway in this relationship, this best option is to quit, if you truly value your mental health do not go ahead with this period. But at the end of the day you take the final decision so I wish you all the best.And vee ate this episode😍😍
I love this.. Vee really tried all her best to stay on the promise😅😅
I love the way Vee speaks, oh God!🥺♥️
Me tooo. I can listen to her speak all day. And her skinnnn. Gosh
Vee is such an intelligent womannnnn ahhh! 😂🙌🙌🙌🙌
"I have to gba my kadara" for me😂
Lovely clear communication from two grown successful woman that i love
Thumbs up ife❤
Even vee haters will come and watch this... weldone my girl❤❤🎉🎉
Omg! That statement Vee made getting married coz we’ve been nurtured into it but I won’t be mad if it never happens. ❤
I love love this episode. To the lady who sent that in, there's no 2 ways to your story that to run for your dear life. That guy is a walking red flag. Cheating is a deal breaker for me as a person. That man is definitely not gonna change.
I so much love how Vee speaks. Welldone Ife ❤
You'll never really know until you're in it! Everyone is definitely a "Never say Never " person actually.
Vee is so articulate, love her even more now ❤😂😂
I just have to say... Vee is STUNNING! Her skin? Ugh!
I also think his reason might be that the nanny threatened to come clean, especially since they have been together for 9 years, and he didn't think to propose to her
I just know I'm going to rewatch this episode over and over and over again. So many gems in it
Dear Ife,
Thanks for this episode. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love the perspectives shared by both you and Vee. However, for me, I don't agree with continuing with a relationship where marriage was discussed and I was hoping for marriage but 4 years down the line, and we are both ready and able to get married but the other party doesn't seem to be interested. I would have a discussion with my partner, let them know I still hope for marriage and if their answer doesn't point towards them been interested in marriage, I would rather leave. I don't think I should have to sacrifice my desire for marriage on the altar of "we have a great relationship." What if tomorrow they decide that they want to get married to someone else after wasting my own time. I think everyone should have a timeline for their relationship after which if marriage is not on the table they should leave.
The man is up to something. Just because he confessed doesn’t mean you should go ahead with the wedding. You thought it was only you but he’s doing it with the nanny, ex wife, other women and even his own friend’s ex. If you marry him he will continue and tell you at least you knew he was like this before you married him. Run
I think I get where vee is coming from about the marriage thing. Sometimes I sit and think do I really want to get married or that’s just something I have to do.
Vee brought me here for the first time😂
My thoughts exactly when I watched . HE DOESN’T WANT TO MARRY HER , HE TOLD HER SO SHE CAN LEAVE ON HER OWN that way it won’t look he ended it . But for whoever sent that to you has thought of the possibility of forgiving him else any good thinking human will walk away …….
I can listen to Vee talk all day , she’s so eloquent… love love that babe .
Vee is everything and more💯 such a sophisticated queen, well spoken ❤️❤️
I do not regret burning my data. I love this series already ❤ thank you Aunty Ife
Infact it's cos of vee I'm here I love her....our own Naomi campbell❤❤
Vee is so spot on with the long term relationship!
Two confident,super star,gorgeous,hardworking,and phenomenal women love you so much❤❤❤❤
Here for Veeiye l can never get tired of her
Veeeee is tooo articulate, i love love her❤ weldone aunty ife
I am vee and vee is me!!!! The fact that my answers are similar to hers…. I would say I’ve been in love though, it was so draining because it was with the wrong person and I was very willing to make it work, but rn I couldn’t be happier that it ended 🥰 and going forward, not bending my rules for any one…. Yass
Vee is sooo beautiful and fluent
Please Vee, speak more. I loveeeed this conversation
He is just letting her know what he will be doing if they get married. So that she will not say she wasn't informed.
Love how Veeiye speaks and her honesty
I think you both said it all. The man seems to be gauging her reaction. If she accepts this now, she has no reason to complain in the future.
We should have talked about the Nanny who was even being slept with for 7years. How old is she? Is she married or she is waiting for Oga to marry her?
9 years plix.
Nanny is definitely expecting him to marry her, she may probably be seeing herself as the mother of the kids already assuming that she spends so much time with them.
What's the possibility that the Nanny hasn't been pregnant for once in the past years? Or that she's even pregnant at the time the man was making the confessions.
You have a lot of life to live and scenarios to experience if you can say there's no way cheating is a mistake. The physical act is consensual, the decision making and reasoning of whatever the partner was thinking... THAT'S the mistake. Sometimes they genuinely realize where their thought process was flawed, sometimes they only regret getting caught. The reflectiveness, humility, transparency and submission to accountability will show you the difference.
BUT.... this guy doesn't want to get married, this confession is to prompt her to leave him. Because he's not even saying he's broken up with them, he's telling you that you've been the secondary your entire relationship...
Forgiving cheating is a no for me even in marriage.
Vee!!!! Best 1st guest. Because what???? I stan and restan!🙌
I enjoyed this podcast so much, first time this year that I'm listening to a podcast till the end.
I personally feel, since he's getting married, he must have been blackmailed and so had to confess rather than give in to the blackmail. Nevertheless, she should be happy he told her she was about jumping into fire. Its gonna hurt but not more than her being in the marriage with him.
Nice one Ife and Vee, I enjoyed this.
I’m here cos vee speaks I listen😍
Okurrrr
Let’s go bby
Oh myyy....this was totally engaging and interesting to watch. I loooove❤. Can't wait for the next episode!.
Back to the story..Why didn't he come clean before he engaged her, if he really wanted to be honest?What if he confessed only because the nanny threatened him? I don't believe he is remorseful. Just abort mission. I don't see how this will end well.
Vee is a queen. And the lady? Run!!!
He’s never going to change. Run!!!
Loving all of the discussion
Welldone ife
Vee speaks so so well and one reason I love is her honesty and she’s being this way.
Like Ife said, it's never going to work. It is too much to handle and how do you even move on from such?
Another thing is the question you asked Vee, for me it is so simple. Even in marriage, there is nothing like forgiving a cheating partner. I sincerely can't deal with it,
Ready for Veeiye own podcast this was a great conversation she is very self aware
I love Vee's confidence
This is so refreshing and impactful ❤
To be honest fr “Not Everybody Will Get Married” it’s been my truth regardless of how life make it looks 😅
Ifeeee😍...take your flower🌷 Beautiful veee😍 speaks so eloquently
Vee is so smart nd this conversation is everything
So refreshing. Looking forward to more. It’s good to have parents like Vee’s who will always support their children.
This is so enlightening to watch, thank you my fav Vee ❤, and weldone Ife🥰
The way I ran from IG to watch
My two favorite people 🥰
Here for my girl, Veee🎉
I'm here to say this again.....VEE, YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL ❤❤❤❤
Dear Ife,
Congrats on the successful launch of this segment, love it.
Kindly note that the light work is kinda dull and affects the vision… please brighten it up a little more.
Thanks
Vee speaks so well and I love her❤
My one and only vee ❤ this conversation reminds me of scenarios….
I love hearing Vee speak❤
I just love how vee speaks. I can listen to her over and over again
"Not everyone is going to get married" veeiye 👏👏
A sad truth.
A society will always be there ready to shame them unfortunately
Na mumu dey allow society influence their personal decisions.
Life is short. Live it on your own terms and do what makes you happy.
Society does not care @@PoSHEmediaglobal
Oh my Vee😊 I missed watching her talk on screen for this long🥹 I just love love you babygal❤❤❤
I think he’s told her all that so as to be able to enjoy the freedom to cheat in marriage. Tell me about “you know the kind of person I was before you married me”
Exactly!
Veeiye is so beautiful gosh 🥰😅 and such an eloquent speaker😊
From my email inbox Dear Ife sent me to UA-cam 😍😍 I’m loving this story
I can listen to Vee all day 😊 really enjoyed this session ❤
Community leader aff drop banger! Early comer because I've been waiting 😍😍
Ife I enjoyed every bit of the conversation 😁. If I must say it ended too early😞
Vee is someone I admire, she's well spoken and a straight talker. Please tell her to kindly post more contents on her UA-cam channel. I can listen to her talk all day. Kudos to you both!
I just love hearing vee speak
Veeiye ❤Smart and intelligent 👍
Always say word as it is 🔥
First episode is so enlightening 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Weldone Ife and her team ❤️ Vee speaks so beautifully ❤️👏🏾👏🏾
I love this conversation wholeheartedly! ❤