Jim Iyke, Ireti Doyle, Shaffy Bello and Tonto Dikeh speak honestly about their divorces
Вставка
- Опубліковано 11 січ 2025
- I’ve had so many A-list guests come on the show to talk very honestly - and often for the first time - about divorce.
The comments and emails we have seen after these interviews showed me how deeply those truths have resonated.
So we decide to do a special episode that combines the greatest, deepest, most powerful things my guests have shared about confronting and surviving the end of a marriage over the past four years.
We have Shaffy Bello, Jim Iyke, Tonto Dike, Damilola Adegbite, Stanley Okorie and Olumide Emmanuel amongst others.
As I listened to this special episode again, I was struck by the great gift these guests gave me and the great service they have done for my audience - speaking so openly, truthfully and realistically.
If you’re dealing with a difficult marriage, left a marriage and don’t know what to do, find yourself alone or confused in a marriage, or just want to know the truth about marriage, this special episode is for you.
Watch the full episode here: www.withchude.com"www.withchude.com
Listen to the full podcast here: listen.withchude.com
Buy #TheDailyJoy book here: shop.withchude.com
Donate to the work here: partner.withchude.com
-
Join our community on Telegram +2348094321111 to get exclusive content and watch our interviews live!
t.me/WithChude...
--
#WithChude is a special series of targeted multimedia (video, audio, text, event) conversations and investigations that leverage the voice, network and passion of its host, Chude Jideonwo and his interviews, to underline issues, raise consciousness and spark movements; especially in Africa and for Africans.
#WithChude has been revolutionary at the forefront of issues around sexual abuse, depression, HIV/AIDs, diversity, shame amongst others, and continues to break new ground - holding space, sharing grace, and calling in.
Focused on narratives that enable and strengthen the mind (mental health), heart (emotional health) and spirit (spiritual health), its themes center on empathy, compassion, mindfulness, wellness, happiness, love, joy and food for the soul.
Beyond inspiration, beyond motivation, this is about connection.
#WithChude is a project of Joy, Inc.
#MindHeartSpirit
#LetsBeHumanTogether
Jim Iyke was super honest ! That’s called manning up !
This interviewer is a good listener and is super respectful
oh jim iyke, its the accountability for me.
Hmmmmm respect
Dami Adegbite is still a classy, amazing woman who deserves true happiness. I'm 100% sure she will still find love. Very funny woman too. It's refreshing to see how much these big celebs trust Chude. Respect is truly earned. Good job Chude!
Being loved by JESUS not only gives you Eternal Life but also makes you understand that you're valued, respected, prioritized, desired, heard, understood, and supported. Invite Jesus Today 🙏🏾
💯🤍💚💙☝🏾☝🏾☝🏾👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Period! He is the only one that can LOVE YOU beyond your comprehension, scars and trauma.
So true
The first rule of love is presence ~Stanley Okorie 2024
Romantic love is not enough, but LOVE in it's true meaning is a commitment (not a feeling) and it is enough.
I believe this
BITTER TRUTH
yep... agape
Period
Getting married without having a sense of self is a terrible mistake
This interviewer is just brilliant, the way he would ask the questions, respect for the people, and his emotional intelligence to know when to stop.
The first rule of love is presence
So true 💯
I LOVE this angle. I’ve always seen it from a perspective of “attention”, but reflecting on your comment I agree that “PRESENCE” runs deeper. 💥💥💥
My respect for Jim Iyke has gone to the roof top. It’s not easy for a man to own up to his mistakes but he did. Respect to you sir 🙌🙌🙌
I perfectly understand shaffy , some marriage once’s you get into it you have to close up all your dreams and sometimes you end up in regret all because your husband don’t want you to follow up your career, maybe her divorcing was the only way she could follow up her career it was not really about the money.
Then Jim Iyke I really love how he owned up to his mistakes he is a good man for that not all men can do that❤
Tonto Dike really deserves to be truly loved she is an amazing woman maybe she regrets some of her actions but those men were never for her, I pray she find true love one day❤❤
Very True....and Amen 🙏🙌
Tonto Dike is the problem 💯
Aunty Ìrètí Doyle is the Maggie Smith of Nigeria film industry. Her expressions are always too notch.
“I like you the way you are does not mean I like you to remain the way you are.” Wisdom.
🤣🤣🤣real
Make it make sense
This expression goes both ways.
Fine and good, we may look at it that we live in a patriachal society. However, what is the yardstick that the woman uses to measure her own growth and development? After a number of years of being together, can she boldly say that this is how far and how well she has achieved success within the marriage or would she readily pass off as the passive member of that marriage for a lifetime? Really, who died and made her the sole judge?!
Not missing the point here is key!
@@joshuaadedipe2284they are beginning to make it a one way thing....thank God you are quick to point it out.
@@Mutex-o6r Certainly.
"i love you the way you are, does not mean i love you to remain the way you are"
Aunty Ireti was on point ...a classy lady..She made a lot of sense. I 've learnt alot from these short clips
I can relate with Jim iyke .Grief can turn u into something else .He seemed like a really good guy .
"A woeful husband and an excellent father," , two different things!
Exactly
Such people shouldn't be given the opportunity to be excellent fathers. They should be excellent husbands first.
@@latifatakede3649there can never be an excellent husband, so be awake
@@latifatakede3649so they can fail at both right? And deprive the kids...
and I don't even think he was an."excellent father " as he thinks. he just used the son as an escape route of his failings.
Omo! Ireti was a masterclass in setting boundaries!! I love gist but i love more her standing on business she owes nobody anything!
I had to replay that part. "The first rule of love is presence" that one enter blood. This video is very educative
Despite the clips being excerpts of longer videos, i learnt a whole lot. Thank you for this bros💯
Kudos Jim compliments on owning your own role in the divorce, u sound enlightened and on your healing journey, good luck 😊
The first rule of love is presence. Intentionally being present, being felt,
No two stories are same but I did what Damilola did. I prayed, I ignored all negative sign, I was also blind to his responsibilities yet... Not all marriages are ordained by God. We do what we think is right as humans, but at every stage of life, God has His own plant.
I understand Aunty Shaffy, you have to love yourself first to be able to give someone love and when you compromise a lot and can't find yourself afterwards or feel empty, resentment is inevitable.
This interview is so powerful🤩Something both married and single people should listen to...
I love this Okorie's Engli-igbo
My life is not an animation, I choose me. Yesss
I get the fascination we have for celebrities and the impulse to believe their competence in one arena translates to others. Allowing the opinion of actors and entertainers to formulate our worldview on vital subjects is a folly indeed.
Chude, i must confess "i doff my cap 4 ur charisma" ure d most ambient & admirable moderator iv ever cme accross who knws exactly whn 2 apply d use of punctuation marks. "RESPECT". However, I'll confess dat i learnt a lot frm dose individual podcasts. I lov d fact dat jim owning up 2 bn insensitive as a hubby. Ireti's expression of loosing out was very obvious even though she wldnt delve deep especiali on sme1 u truli love. In shaffy & okorie's case, trying to eat ur cake & hv it wld eida "make or mar" & @d end u hurts within. "A kingdom dat stands agnst itself can neva stand". Dat's Biblical philosophy. Kudos 2u Chude & Thumb 4a job well-done.
the quality of his guests and their conversation. the intelligent way Chude presents his questions and his organic responses. plus he's a great listener!
watching this makes you realize that more than half of these other 'podcasts' today are just a waste of time.
I love their honesty.
Kudos to you Chude for creating this safe space.
Tonto Dike made a good point @ not regretting what she has gone through. Learning from your mistakes actually keeps you moving with that heart of gratitude
The men are taking accountability, kudos to them.
Aunty Shaffy Bello's case could be a very good script. Many lessons in that short interview.
Auntie Ireti ❤❤❤ I appreciate and love you! Perfect answer!
When you meet somebody and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, love is just one of the quantities, its not everything
The way Chude takes in the good words .wow the first rule of love is PRESENCE
Mehnnnnnnnn ❤❤❤sending love to all of them. Such an insightful watch
Miss Ireti is such a serious woman, I like her very much and she is a great actress too 💐
Sometimes the first rule of love is presence.
@@cindyscouture8324 Most profound truth said in all of the interviews🔥🔥
Always
Even when you are continents apart, effective communication creates the presence.
They all spoke so beautifully and in sincerity. In all ensure you take care of yourself and work towards being the best version of yourself.
One thing I love about this people interview is honesty
Awuuuu, just love Jim Iyke. I respect him.
JIM IYKE - man who takes accountability. May God bless you sir🙏🏾
The last man nailed it. I love you the way you are, no be for you to remain like that guy👌
Do you know his name?
@@davidndukwe7902Olumide Emmanuel
Chude, you are the best in this journalism game.
Marriage is not easy. It’s a lot of work that quite frankly could either make or break a person. Like Auntie Ireti did, best to choose one’s self when one is at their wits end.
I’m happy Shaffy said the truth about her ex. Paul Akinrimisi is a good man and an excellent father. It’s okay to want more, good luck to both of them
"My life is not an animation, I choose me," nothing to share. Thank you😊
Also, "the first rule of love is presence, will husbands in this generation hear that, I guess not😅
Thanks Chude❤
"The first rule of love is presence"
There is always a regret, secretly a lot of Divorcees cry 😭, more especially when the man or woman is good.
Divorcee, married.. a lot of people cry.
If they were good I doubt they would be divorced
@@kylieking8163why not. If I’m good for you but you’re not good for me there can still be a divorce and that’s what he’s talking about. If I was good to you you’d probably cry after the divorce because I left.
Jim Iyke bu Nwoke! He owned his sh!t!🎊
What Tonto said 💯%
Two amazing people
But wrong timing deep I can relate
People fight the mafia, they fight hostile people, they make it when most can’t but marriage is different. It is the hardest for the strongest, bravest, most spiritual and also the smartest amongst us.
People change, circumstances changes, life happens….
11:43 Chude had to take some time to digest that😅
This is an amazing video and yes just because it did not work does not mean that person you divorced is bad and I like how some of them said he is a good man or good person but I just wanted more ❤❤🙏thank you for sharing
Chide is a braver person than me. Ireti was stern😅!
I love Iretiola too much jare. I can perfectly relate. You owe no body shit.
Ireti Doyle was not having it, her face said it all.
Exactly 😂😂😂
The guy goofed big time. He should up his game. She expected much better questions
It's time we stopped living our romantic dreams vicariously through celebrities. They are real human beings and not animations 😅
Ireti doyle was not pissed off. That is her face most times.
Let me explain how these interviews work..Guests are pre informed on potential topics to be discussed and likely questions. they either agree or turn it down..
These interviews are edited at the end and any discussion the guest isn't comfortable with will be cropped out..
Interviews are not live shows..
It's okay to show hurt while discussing something or someone..it can stem from memories of the past events..
He didn't it's an interview you choose what you want to answer and let the other's go@@AmandaMoore-o4r
The first rule of love is presence!!
That’s catchy and very realistic
This is truly beautiful. Taking responsibilities❤
This is a wonderful compiled episode. You have to take responsibility for what happened in the marriage. You can tell that Jim Iyke and Ms. Shaffy have some therapy or self-awareness. The only person who was not okay with their divorce was Ms. Doyle. When you are a celebrity couple showing people your love story and then divorce comes and becomes so cold. People are not entitled to know what happened in your marriage but you laid the platform of having TV shows with your husband and people have a right to ask what happened. Well done, what a life lesson learned.
People have a right to ask what happened.... But people do not deserve an answer as it is nobody's business!! It's quite sad but celebrities are human beings too
@@veronicaikeotuonye7913 I don't think you understand my point before reacting to my comment. This lack of comprehension is how some Nigerians, like you, struggle to pass the TOEFL exam. Divorce isn't an easy pill to swallow, but at some point, you have to move on and take accountability, just like others have done on the show. It's not all of them are Nigerian celebrities, so what makes her so different? I don't care about what happened to her and her husband because I don't know her or live in Nigeria, but at her age, she could gain some wisdom from Shaffy and Jim Iyke discussing their divorce. Ms.Ireti bitterness is unbecoming.
Powerful words from each onw of them.
You're a master interviewer. You know when and how to prod, and more importantly, when to stop
And am learning from him
Well said 💯💯
It's high time we keep God out of our conversations ...this 'God did this','God did this' is not God that did it ,but d SELF in us that is in total opposition to God,especially when we want to have it our OWN way.
I beg una,pls leave d Holy God out your conversations that tend to gratify self/flesh..Amen & Amen 🙏
Likeee... it's so annoying!
Do they truly know God's design for marriage? For the home?
She chose her career over marriage, and she is claiming 'God did it'.
What a joke!
They all spoke so wisely❤
I love their honesty
The first rule of love is presence so true and I love you the way you are does not translate to you should remain the way you are… indeed experience teaches
If love is not enough then that is not love in the first place but lost
You are not a wife u are a knife.
That statement got me laughing 😂❤
How well they all speak 🙌🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🤗💜💜💜
The last speaker hits the nail on the head...
Life is leap forward but understood backwards #last man. Very true.
When you hear people say "Love is not enough", just know they don't understand what love is.
The right word is feelings is not enough.....because love is deeper.infact the total sum up of a lot attributes is love
@@Zanjero234 Actually, those people are right. You can be the greatest lover and a rubbish spouse at the same time.
@@itsjemmabond what do you think Love is?
@@Zanjero234 It's when you have feelings so strong for someone that you can't live without them.
@@itsjemmabondLOVE is not a feeling. If you understand this, then you'll know that it's ENOUGH!!!
The first rule of love is presence ❤️
Jim Ikye!
Shaffy Bello is so beautiful!
I will never understand why people would sacrifice a beautiful happy marriage for something as transient as a career. I strongly believe that many people will regret making that choice in the end. Listen to people's deathbed regrets. No one ever says they wished they had worked longer or had more money in the bank or received more awards & recognitions. Family, love & relationships are what matters most, and that includes your relationship with your maker. Do with this message what you will.
You feel this way because marriage or love is important and the greatest thing ever to you. However, we are all not wired the same way so other people may not see the most importance of holding on to marriage while not chasing or building what is important or greatest to them
@@ethelpuplampu🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉perfectly said ,couldn't have said it anymore better .
Truth is, marriage and work don't have to be one or the other. If you give one up for the other, there will be regrets. Find a balance because therein is true fulfillment in happiness one craves.
You are absolutely correct. I wish people can understand that it’s possible to be more than a career
It's not career in itself. It's self actualization. It's purpose. It's fulfilment. Career or business are just vehicles to finding or actualising ourselves and for most people, their highest burdens is to find themselves, to fulfil their biggest desires, to become the generational lights that they feel within themselves that life is beckoning them to become. It's not just about doing a career or running a business. So, for these persons, if a marriage- not the children- in anyway hampers their ability to actuality themselves, they would let it go.
I so love Aunty Ireti!
Mature actors and actresses. Jim, Ireti, and Shaffy ❤❤. I just love them. Add Genevieve. You don’t see them yapping about anything anywhere
No divorce is sweet !!!!! - Stanley Okorie
7:33 shaffy can act sha
I still feel d drama here
...
Jim iyke❤
Tonto, I agree with you on that wrong timing 💯, 2 amazing people can actually marry and it won’t work if the timing is not right 😢
😂😂😂Baba said ' you are a wife you a knife' he can rhyme for Africa!
*not*
Ireti is who i aspire to be
I love this episode
A lot of marriages aren't built on the foundation of love. It's just for personal reasons
First in class today 🎉🎉🎉
The last man 😂😂😂😂
This last man sef 😂😂😂😂.
Love is presence 📌
Responding to journalist questions 101 is what happened btw Ireti Doyle and Chude.... With the expose intertwined around humor and gesture, Ireti didn't bulge a bit.... Nice retro.....
Wow absolutely great ❤❤
Life is lived forward but understood backwards
In all these, our mistakes..own them
Jim my man.
Whao the first rule of love is presence
shaffy bello is so right. it ia not easy. but it is better this way bevause, she would have ended up resenting him and causing more problems for the family.
jim iyke has healed so much. he realised his mistakes so much and knew he was not on the right part.
The first rule of love is presence. Thank you for this sentence. Everything comes at a cost in life.
Tonto dikeh has changed so much. she now speaks quietly. she has realized that her first marriage, they were not just ready. two good people can be in love but not ready. she has healed so much and dont talk badly about church hill anymore.
Damilola is so right. love is never enough. love is just the basic or 10% of what is needed in marriage.
Exactly, i love the way you are does not mean i love you to continue the way you are.
life is truely lived foward.