I am so sorry 😞 jus kno you are not alone and you HAVE. To be STRONG for those around you and yourself and those to who lost loved ones to suicide. And for me💔 as I am going thru a similar situation Edit: I left one of the most important things out out of emotional distress…god..Jesus…I promise you he’s the only Salvation we have in these times where the devil is running earth. My deep condolences to you and your family. Let’s pray and pray and bless and lay all those loved good souls who saw no way out and let’s light a way for them. My broken grieving heart goes to you and everyone still breathing, Amen.
We are so sorry you lost your son. We are saddened by all the clients we have worked with that have experienced the same type of loss. This is happening too often. It is indeed a terrible journey and a long one. Please don't do it alone. There is a lot that can be done to make it a bit more bearable. Support is important. If you haven't found any, please check out our Grief Resources and Organizations page on our website. You can search by type of loss and how they died. www.mygriefcare.com/ Healing will take time. Be gracious and gentle with yourself. Embracing the pain is part of the healing but it is awful. Please get help for the journey. Thank you for sharing.
My husband died of the disease Depression, by his own hand, and I did not experience any shame, shunning, or ugliness from others; nor do I feel responsible. He died of an awful Disease. In fact, I forget sometimes that was HOW he died. The SUDDENNESS is what has been the hardest, then sadness in thinking about how he suffered alone, and finally the missing of him being here. For me, he is at peace, with God, and now I must build a new life. Blessings to you all.
That is exactly how for 23 years I have been stating my brother's cause of death: he died of the disease of depression because that is the most accurate description of suicide and cuts off anyone who unfortunately is still in ignorance about how the disease affects the brain and those who still subscribe to old, stigmatizing, inaccurate ideas about it, the most damaging two being that it's a choice and/or that someone is to blame. If more explanation is needed after I state he died by the disease of depression, I simply say, "some people survive cancer. Some people don't. Some people survive depression. Some people don't" and that tends to get the point across. Public understanding has definitely gotten better over the years and I am glad that people are more and more understanding of how to offer positive support to survivors. More people speaking openly of their experiences with this particular aspect of the disease has hugely helped destigmatize it.
I think you are very right to determine the cause of your husbands death as depression. I'm so glad that you didn't get ugliness from other people in your life. Depression is an awful disease. It robs a person of joy, purpose, and hope among other things that make life seem precious and meaningful. I also agree that thinking of him now being with God is so wise and healing. You don't have to worry about or for him, because he is in good hands. And, finally, building a new life requires effort and persistence. I recommend to people that they consider that they are now writing a new chapter in their own life story. You probably won't write it down quite as one might write a memoir. Rather, you actually live it out, moment by moment and day by day. God's peace to you.
Thank you so much for this comment. I have been greiving the death of my girlfriend and she was going through depression. I can't help but think of all the more things I could have, should have done. We consulted therapy, started yoga but every morning I used to get this feeling that her suffering is not getting better. On one morning we went for a walk, came back home, had breakfast and watched some comedy. She laughed a lot and I thought we are making progress. Little did I knew that was the last one hour, the last laugh I'll ever have with her. She took her life a couple of hours later. I have been constantly renactinng the last couple of months as to what I could have done more and right and it has been painful. It also doesn't help as other stigmatise suicide as weak. But your comment gives me strength to make some sense of what has happened and how to deal with it. I am proud of her and will always carry her memories, spirit with me till the end of my life. Your words "she is in good hands" is very powerful and thank you for helping me understand it.
I wish I could forget how my youngest daughter took her life at the age of 32 ,, the youngest of my 4 kids. I would give anything for her to have been in a car accident or have cancer or a terminal illness. Or have some sort of freak accident where there's no control. She planned it for 4 months, so don't tell me it was impulsive. Don't tell me that she didn't know what she was doing. She hsd her Master's in nutrition. She was a rock climber and an ice climber with her husband she ran Philly marathon. She travels to Peru , Africa and the last year of her life Apparently, she was struggling, but no one said anything to us. And I found out so much more after her death. But I will never forget how. she ended her life. She did die peacefully and supposedly painlessly. I don't know. I wasn't there. But she came into this world a beautiful baby. And she left this world a beautiful Yong woman. . I think I read her autopsy too many times, but the medical examiner t just describes her so beautifully down to all her tattoos and has clean nails were and just everything about her. It doesn't upset me because it was absolutely no trauma to her body. Me and my kids are changed forever. And I honestly don't have anybody to blame anymore. I blame Her husband for a very long time. I was in therapy for 3 years, and I know my daughter is the one who made the decision. Or I should say her brain made the decision for her. But she left 7 letters and all of her letters mentioned. Everything that we had already known but never to the point that she would end her life over it. So I don't know what the last day they had together was 18 hours before he found her. I don't know what the argument was about. I don't know what was said. I do know there weren't any texts between them. Because the cops had her cell. But what differences does it make? I can't interrogate her husband anymore. He was put through enough trauma of just finding her and not believing that she did what she did and being so so sorry and he felt guilty that he should have done more. He sold the house, and I just pray that. He's 39 that he can go on and love someone who deserves his love.her ashes are with everyone who loved her I began the traveler that she was she's in Florida with her dad. She's in Pennsylvania with her husband She's in Colorado with her brother and she's here with me in jersey and her two sisters in new jersey
Thank you Ron i needed this. I lost one of my best friend's and bandmate a month ago to suicide. It feels like a blur. Ive stayed busy with distractions with work and family outings but after the glitz of the day is over the grief is patiently waiting for me. I often think what i could have done differently to prevent this. So many unanswered questions. I feel so bad for his children they also lost their mother 5 years prior. I listen to our favorite band Motorhead everyday and think about the good times but there is different kind of hollow in me now that i didnt have before even dealing with other deaths of family members the last two years. Maybe it's reactivated all of the grief ive been running from, from the last two years of losing my nephew then my mother the following year. I try to keep a sunny outlook on life even in the bad times and it seems to help, that and lots of prayer to get me through the good and the bad times. I just miss my friend and wish things were different. Thank you again for your post it helped me get through tonight.
My brother took his own life 3 months ago and it is still hard to to take it in, the chock, this new reality. He left behind a 15 year old son that i try to comfort as well as myself. Thank you very much for this video 💔.
It is shocking and overwhelming isn't it? Please look for support for you and his son. There are some great organizations out there to help. Please check out our resource page on mygriefcare.com if you're interested. Thank you.
Hey, I'm on this journey too. My sister killed herself 3 months ago, I would love to join a suicide survivors group or something like that, but I haven't found it.
@@GuimelRomero I'm sorry for your loss 🙏. There is no groups here in Sweden where you can meet in person, not yet anyway. I will look up the answer from Your-Grief-Guides.
My girlfriend slipped down a slope. We were homeless, and she took her life in front of me on Halloween this past October. I am having trouble because I still wake up like she's still around
Four months after I lost my best friend, im here, watching videos for affirmation that I should keep walking this path. I never thought I'd feel so broken as a grown man, but i lost a brother. He wasn't just a friend, or my best friend, he was someone I was supposed to watch grow old and gray, raising his family. We were supposed to make music together until we were too senile or arthritic to play. If youre reading this keep going. Keep fighting for room to experience joy in life again. The ones we love would want to see us grow and prosper. I beleive in you.
This is such a rough patch to go through. You probably have questions to which there are no answers available. You've not just lost your dear friend, but also shared dreams of sharing life, experiencing family and your music. You are right that those we lose would want to see others continue to grow and prosper. While it may be hard for you to completely accept the brokenness you are experiencing, I can assure you that it is a natural and normal response to losing a person who means so much to you. 4 months can sure seem long, but a relative short period of time to recover from a tough loss. Take it easy on yourself, allow yourself to feel your emotions, find a good safe way to express them (writing song lyrics, or a letter to him that you may not share with anyone, finding privacy so you can speak to him aloud without embarrassment). You'll be fine in time, if you allow yourself to feel and express honestly and uncensored. Ron
thank you, my beautiful boyfriend Jackson Oliver took his life in front of me March 25th and it’s been the worst pain imaginable. I can’t imagine other people going through the pain that I’m going through but I have so much compassion for those grieving too.
I was blocked by a helpline few days ago for contacting it too often - to speak about my friend who died. The last person I spoke to from the helpline said that I was unhealthy for speaking about it again and again. I am so angry.
What? That's awful. I'm so sorry to hear that. That just shows me how much people don't understand grief. It isn't unhealthy to talk about our losses. But, as we can see, it makes a big difference in "who" we talk to about it. I don't know anything about your situation, but I would offer up a couple of thoughts. Consider going to the resources page on our free websitewww.mygriefcare.com/grief-resources/ and see if there are any resources listed there that might be of help to you. Second, consider reading books that address suicide. There are a few on this Amazon link that we think are pretty good like "No time to say goodbye" - "Aftermath" - "But I didn't say goodbye" (www.amazon.com/s?k=books+about+suicide&crid=2C2DN5SL9RV54&sprefix=books+about+suicide%2Caps%2C128&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
How do you cope when someone you loved dies this way, alone, and you had lost touch with them because you were wrapped up in your own problems? You didn't even lose touch. You intentionally didn't reply the last time they checked in. It's very hard to come to terms with what has happened when you realize you may have been that person's last lifeline, but you couldn't bring yourself to reply because of selfishness. I feel like only now do I realize how important we were to one another. I didn't realize how much he might have needed me to check back in. I know I let him down. I didn't deserve such a good friend to begin with.
You wasn’t selfish when you didn’t reply I feel you. I feel the same way . Remember this you replying or not replying wouldn’t have made a difference. Even if it would have which I doubt we will never know so stop assuming that you could have saved them. Do you know for one committed suicide people often make 10-20 suicide attempts first ? My father committed suicide one month ago TODAY. I live with guilt and rejection but I know that I couldn’t have saved him bc ask yourself this question what if u had replyd? And they wouldn’t have killed themselves that day . Good nice u think u saved them ? No. How will we know they wouldn’t have done it a day after ? A week after or a year after ? People that are suicidal eventually will commit suicide prevention rarely helps. Also someone told me (bc I also intentionally didn’t reply ) : if in that moment you made that decision you felt right with the decision you couldn’t have known that this would have happend so this was only an impulsive decision that you made in that moment which means nothing. You wouldn’t make the same decision of not replying if u knew what was gonna happen…
One of my oldest and dearest friends committed suicide just under a month ago. I feel so completely numb and hollow. It feels almost impossible to move past the great loss from her being gone.
It is a significant loss and it's not something you just move past from. Feeling numb and hollow is distressing but entirely appropriate for what has happened. It hurts so much because you cared for her so much. We encourage you look for some grief support if you want it. Not everyone does. There are groups everywhere and you can look on our mygriefcare.com website under resources to see if anything appeals to you. Hang in there. It does get better. But sometimes that is hard to believe. Thank you for your comment.
My younger brother committed suicide recently, I am not able to digest how can a always smiling person like hime with no visible signs of depression can do that. After my dad’s accident 5 year’s ago he was the one I looking forward to live my life for and now with his sudden demise I not sure what’s my purpose of life anymore , feels like everything is finished
Of course it does. You must feel overwhelmed and lost. We are so sorry for your suffering. Please reach out for support. Don't do this alone. We have lots of support resources and organizations for you on our website www.mygriefcare.com/. Thanks for sharing.
I lost someone to suicide, I must say that I did not know him well, he was someone who you would meet out on a night out in the pub. He was a freind of my best friend,I only meet him properly on night he took his own life January the 6th/7). My freinds and I were the only ones who were with him in the pub before he took his own life[apart from the bar owner, maybe their were a few other punters in pub idk]. I can not describe how this has affected me, but I don't really know how to feel to be honest. He did save me when I got attacked one night on the 31st of January 2022. I am been n emotional and I don't know to be honest, how to responde. To end this comment I want to hold a moment of sleince for Carlo. Rest in peace Carlo You were a hero And I wish you Where still around Brother.
Your post is beautiful and authentic. Your statement at the end is so heart felt. Consider getting some help from qualified professionals, maybe a temporary leave from work, and hang out only with people who are not judging you and trying to fix you. Your pain is real. The fact that you didn't know Carlo really well does not diminish your pain or mean there is something wrong with you. Be kind to yourself.
My best friend took her life. There are still many, whys? I can get though the day. The next morning I'm looking for answers. I feel like she knew exactly what was going to happen. I don't know how to say goodbye. I don't want her, not here. She's gone and everyone is going about their business. I feel like I'm drowning in oxygen.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can hear how profoundly you must miss her and how confusing a time this is for you right now. My deepest sympathies to you.
The "why" questions are, of course, completely natural and normal to experience under these circumstances. At some point, accepting the "not knowing" is paired with accepting that your beautiful friend is gone. And, healing over time is possible if you are able to accept that your friend is gone and can no longer be with you in this life, to process all the feelings that accompany such a loss, to allow yourself to adjust to a world without your friend, and to figure out the best way(s) to remember your friend and honoring her by living your life intentionally in a way that - for some reason - she could no longer endure. I hope and pray that you'll find your way through this time of deep pain and a yearning for such a special person who is just out of reach.
@@trevonkobin6599 Thank you I’m not really doing ok But lm fighting my demons I hope one day I will be feeling better all the best to you and so sorry for the loss of your friend 💔
My deepest condolences to everyone as I just lost the mother of my child (3yrold girl) to suicide on July 27th. We were separated but I love her. Life will never be the same so I pray for peace, love and Light for those who lost a loved one and those who returned to god. It takes a lot of willpower to live at this point, so from now on we breathe for those gone and remain strong for those crushed by life’s pressure God bless everyone, Jesus is coming soon and I cannot wait.
Thank you so much for doing this series on suicide loss and the challenges loss survivors face. I love also how you offered steps for healing and thoughts to ponder. I can't say enough how helpful these were. I am deeply grateful. I hope you will continue with these. Your longer one plus hour interview with the woman who lost 2 husbands to suicide was excellent also. I hope you will maybe do some other segments on the unique loss of a child, a sibling, or a friend to suicide. The ones you have done so far have had a real impact on me.
Thanks for leaving the reply. Probably someone else will read that and think "I'm not the only one," It is mysterious and very unsettling that we might be talking to someone as just another day in the life and very shortly thereafter they take their life. I've sadly heard this story too many times. And, I've come to believe that most people (who go on to die by suicide) are quite careful to not let on the depth of their underlying despair that ultimately leads to them taking action. Adding a "dimension of trauma" to loved ones? You are so right. I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
We know your world has turned upset down. Losing your father would be hard enough but this way compounds the pain. We are so sorry. Please get some support. There are many grief support groups out there and social media grief groups and there are some great organizations that help specifically with loss by suicide. We have a listing of them on our Grief Resource and Organization page on mygriefcare.com. Please don't do this journey alone. And give yourself tremendous grace. You don't get over this quickly - and you aren't supposed to.
Thank you for sharing your personal story. I appreciate it as there’s not much information. It truly helps me to hear other people stories so I really appreciate your family struggle and your courage to speak about it . Sadly, they’re so little information I’ve already seen this video about 10 times & I’m going to watch it again. My husband Mark Yeo took his life July 22, 2016. I thought he was the love of my life we met online & married 4 months after meeting April fools Day 2012. Now I can see the irony of the wedding date as well as the signs of an abusive relationship. I have never told anyone this because I was too embarrassed and blamed myself however that morning I had enough of the lies & chaos & I asked for a divorce. I came home with my 8 year old daughter & found his body I completely went into shock for eight years unknowingly. My close friends told me I’m lucky that he didn’t take me with him as he loved me too much to see me with another man and that my daughter is the only reason that I’m alive as he wouldn’t want her to find my body or he would’ve shot me in my sleep, and then himself, I struggle with this idea, but that’s what those closest to me saw in the relationship. His father Clayton Yeo I was notified by his family (who blamed me for Marks death) that his father took his life last month. They asked me how my husband did it they couldn’t remember if it was the heart or head. I couldn’t believe they’re asking me. Anyways, I’ve been re-triggered wondering what to do. I’ve never seen a therapist looking back. I did start my UA-cam channel and I wasn’t sure why, but recently, I began to read the letters that he wrote to me apologizing saying how loves etc. and I’m trying to make the channel useful. I’m wondering how I can be useful although I’m struggling. Any ideas? Also wondering if this is genetic? Also wondering what I need to do to relieve my ptsd that I’ve never acknowledged. I had to raise my kids so put on a fake character & it worked for them they’re doing excellent & well thank God. As of 2024 I’m 45 empty nest & figuring out how when & where to begin my life. I don’t want to be a victim or survivor. I’ve got to let this story go… wishing you all well & thank you for your time, Michelle
First and foremost - your husband's death is not your responsibility and its not your fault. Based on your description, he was not a psychologically or relationally healthy person. I'm not demonizing him - but an abusive person is not mentally healthy. And this did leave him more subject to doing harm to himself. And, yes, there are some genetics involved here. A person is at higher risk of trying suicide if his/her parent died by suicide. Obviously, that's not a giant risk, but it does suggest that children whose biological parent died by suicide should focus on keeping themselves healthy both psychologically and relationally. Considering that the loss of your husband was years ago, but apparently is not entirely resolved, suggests that professional help would be a good idea. Some ideas are finding a qualified therapist to help you deal with both the trauma and loss. A therapist who is certified in EMDR and who has additional training in dealing with grief and loss would be a good choice. Check out psychology.com and search for therapists with those criteria in your area. You might also consider attending a widow's healing retreat. Because your case is complicated and long lasting, I would point you toward our widow intensive healing retreat in California. www.griefandtraumahealing.com/widows-grief-retreat/ Our success level in helping widows struggling with complicated grief is very strong. It doesn't have to stay this way. You don't need to come to us - but please get yourself some professional help. Life's too short to be encumbered by that sort of baggage. Best to you.
@@Your-Grief-Guides thank you for replying. I appreciate that I do understand now that I was involved in a domestic abuse situation that took me a long time to see that the reason I believe that this is genetic is because his father‘s wife notified me that his father shot himself in the heart in September 2024, which leads me to believe that there’s something going on and in many other families because I have many people come to me saying my mom my dad and me and my brother and my sister, they just keep going and going and going, so I’m working on helping other people. That’s what I do. I appreciate you. Thank you for the information. I will use it and forward it on and keep paying it forward God bless you!
Yash, we will love you forever. You are like a brother to us. We wish that you're at peace and not in pain anymore. We wish you can feel our love from the other side. We will always remember you and miss you. And we aren't angry you left us, but we are sad.
Yes - you are experiencing unimaginable loss. We recommend that you consider getting some professional help. One option that we think is pretty good is the Grief Recovery Method approach that you can learn more about at www.griefrecoverymethod.com/our-programs/support-groups. Some specialists also offer 1:1 help. Or, find a counselor/coach/therapist professional who has some specialized training in grief.
People don't realize some suicides can be as tho the mind hypnotizes itself....they aren't planned. ....Instantly these thoughts come on very suddenly... and with such euthoria..and determination...the mind has switched and the plan will be carried out ..without warning or care towards others.....hence .teenager comes home from college..asks mum what's be for dinner...goes upstairs ..then mum finds them an hour later..
You are right. And, I can tell you that I've had young clients who were battling with various problems (including depression, bullying, history of abuse, etc.) who have done exactly what you just described. I hope others are reading your comment and taking heed.
I just got News an old time friend committed suicide, my mind is running crazy I don't understand why they were full of life! I don't even know how to begin praying for them 😢😢 thanks for this video
So sorry to hear about your loss. Learning of a death by suicide is surely one of the hardest pieces of news that anyone can get. I don't think you need to know how to pray for them - but God knows your heart. Just pour out your heart to him and don't censor your words. You won't offend God and he has infinite patience. And, since you may never know why your friend made that choice please just try to understand the depth of psychological and emotional pain they were feeling, forgive them (if you hold any anger) because sometimes we can actually and paradoxically feel anger. Blessings and peace to you.
What are ways to offer support to my sister and nephew. My brother-in- law died by suicide (from bipolar disorder) 3 months ago. I feel so out of my depth. The surviving child is only 12...
Hi Hannah: I'm just now getting around to this. I can't keep up with people's posts. I so sorry for your loss and what your sister and her son are going through right now. A couple of suggestions are to try to help your sister and nephew in simple practical ways. I recommend trying to find a few minutes to sit with her and then ask her about how you could be a help to her. Your presence will be far more healing than any words you can speak right now. Also, it would be good if your sister could potentially seek out a grief specialist (coach, clergy, therapist, counselor) to help guide her through processing her grief. And, if there are grief support groups she could join in person or online, it tends to help people who feel that they're all alone in a time of desperation. If she is in a tough financial position, you might steer her toward Wings for Widows - a non-profit service that will help give her guidance according to her needs (they aren't financial investment services - just give general advice on debt, budgeting, etc.)
Just lost my love my boyfriend to suicide and it’s like an atomic bomb Hiroshima just fall on me the pain mentally, emotionally and physical is beyond anything i have ever experienced💔 it’s comes in waves and the pain in my chest, back, all my body feels like on fire.. surreal, so heartbroken, feel paralyzed and can’t get myself to move and all the time I just want to sleep, fatigue all day, lost interest in everything but, I force myself because I have to care for my childrens and pets.. I feel like I’m hallucination at time in a parallel dimension where I see the walls of the room we ones shared and have some weird smell out of the blue in my home even though I clean all.
Wow. Those are some powerfully descriptive words and so appropriate to describe the pain, disorientation and heartbreak you are experiencing. I'm probably going to borrow some of your terms (obviously without identifying you) to help other people understand. The phase you are in right now, we call "just surviving" and I am thankful that your children and pets are giving you a sense of purpose and meaning. Your boyfriend did choose you take his own life. That is not your fault. You are not guilty. You are naturally devastated. And, your children need you. But, they don't need you to be super woman. They don't need you to be perfect. It's OK for them to see that you are very hurt, perhaps fearful, grappling with the pain, and you all can lean on each other (just not to make them the parent, of course). You might want to consider finding counseling with a therapist who is trained in dealing with trauma and grief (yes, this kind of loss is clearly traumatic) for both you and your children. My heart goes out to you.
@@Your-Grief-Guides thanks it’s been a real challenge cause i feel my nerve system it’s in shutdown and can’t control when the wave comes, I am trying to allow it to go through naturally and cry when I need too till I can’t no more I’m looking through my insurance to get the help I need cause it’s really paralyzed me, at the moment I’m taking one day at the time.. and yes no problem! I’m sharing it because I want people to know how this feel so they don’t feel they are alone or are the only ones to experience this symptoms.. it’s real and never though in my life to feel pain like this..
My girlfriend did take her own life. It's absolutely horrible and never experienced this amount of pain before. We spilt up just 2 months before but remained best friends. The only years she was not hostipalized was when we were together. She didn't want me moving out until her new roommate was ready to move in. I would of still been there when she took her life. I know I could of prolonged her life and less regret as well as had more time with her. I'd do anything to see her again for just a second so if I got another 2 months nothing is not wroth that. Her mom won't even let me see attend her funeral or know where she was laid to rest. Her mom had no relationship with her either it's brutal
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. My prayers for your peace. Please know that you are not responsible for her taking her life. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Unfortunately, we must bear the burden of this. Try to find a therapy group. Being around those who are going through it will help you. Search out survivors of suicide.
we're so sorry to hear of your loss. Obviously, I don't have more detail, but I do think that everyone who loses a loved one to suicide would benefit from find some group resources (consider looking at www.mygriefcare.com/grief-resources/ and click on the suicide link) and getting some qualified counseling.
Well i highly suspect a bassist of my favorite band commited suicide and i can't really talk with my family about it because they don't understand. I am myself kinda suicidal and he threw himself into abyss not alone but grabbed by the wrist me and lot of people with him. I know it is not something he wanted
How frustrating. You learn of a death by suicide and aren't able to really talk with your family. Please consider finding someone you really can talk to who has some knowledge and training about grief and loss. You know, suicide is a sort of solution - but its a terrible solution. Terrible because you simply don't know what many good things may happen in your life - especially if you are open to the possibilities. You made this comment a month or so ago. I sure hope you are OK. If not - please find a therapist/counselor/coach or physician to help you. I promise you that there are good things ahead that you cannot see right now. I also promise you that hope can be regenerated. Sometimes we need other people to help us see it. Praying for you right now.
I'm "guessing" now that you are speaking of your confusion about and/or anger with the person you lost. Losing someone to suicide is typically overwhelming. We can be legitimately angry and/or confused by the reality of what might seem like such a pointless death. Working with family and friends of people who died by suicide has shown me that everything from denial (they can't really be dead, or, I don't think they did this to themselves - someone or something else must be involved) to screaming "How could you have done this to me?" is to be expected. To answer your question, I can almost guarantee you that the moment that the person took the fatal act, they weren't thinking clearly, they were experiencing some level of debilitating psychological/emotional pain that they couldn't think clearly. And, that is one reason that accepting and healing from the death of a loved one to suicide is so hard to experience. I'm very sad to hear of your loss.
@202triciae My fill in the blank answer was: "I'm so sorry I failed to save you." As someone with a postgraduate degree in psychology (Forensic Psychology), I feel I should have noticed the signs that my military veteran husband was going to take his own life. There was nothing out of the ordinary to set off any warning bells. In fact, he seemed to be in a good mood the week before he died. Even 14 months later I still feel like I could've done something to save his life if only I had noticed something was 'wrong'.
I've never felt so numb in my life as I do now .l lost my best friend to suicide the pain and hart break 💔it brings to the ones that they left behind .please if anyone thinks of doing this stop talk to someone the pain it leaves behind is so hard for your family and friends there's always a way out 🙏please dont do it❤
We are so sorry to hear your suffering. Losing one you love is hard enough but losing them this way, it only compounds the pain. Please know that there is support out there for you.
I think my boyfriend is going to kill himself. I can't breathe and he's not responding to any messages, I'm so scared and i just want to know if he's okay and what I did wrong I love him so much and I don't know what to do without him
That must feel terrifying. I'm not sure if you actually wronged him in some way, but you are not responsible for decisions that he may make himself. I hope my note back to you finds that some things have already be resolved. If you have evidence to suggest your fears are real and he won't respond, you could try reporting your concerns to the local law enforcement and they might arrange to do a welfare check - just to see how he's doing. Hoping for the best.
If I can give any hope to any other parent has lost. An adult child to suicidei can tell you that 4 years after my youngest daughter took her life at the home, she shared with her husband he's the one who found her is that she planned. She researched it. She knew exactly when she was going to do it. She wanted to wait until all of her siblings and her dad was back in the states. She called me the day before. I also saw her 4 months prior and I've never seen her more peaceful and loving. Not that that means anything she definitely had. Undagnosed mental illness, her husband and I talked in depth about her having borderline personality but she never sought therapy or took drugs. And didn't want to, she always felt. To be perfect, she had to heal herselfi won't go into the details of how she died or everything that she accomplished over her 32 years of life but the ups and Downs we're almost like on a yearly basis or monthly basis for me and her 3 older siblings for me, especially. I went back to work as quickly. As possible because it was just as COVID hit. In Jersey, she died in Pennsylvania and we were able to see her 3 days after her death and had her cremated. Because there was no way I was burying one of my children and her husband was so catatonic that he didn't say anything. By the way, she did not have any children and she wrote that in her notes that she had wanted children and felt that she was too old. Again, she left 7 letters to her husband he shared all those we found out much more after her death call my husband that we had no idea but year one was spent as zombies. Your 2 was horrible because it started to become reality. Here's 3 got even worse because. I was in such denial that she actually did it like he said. You don't. Your disbelief is like you. Just cannot believe that they did that and now it should year 4. I'm struggling just with the acceptance of losing her. I still have feelings of disbelief at times I keep myself distracted with my older kids and my grandchildren. Who bring smiles to my face? My work I love and I work every day very hard at what I do to stay distracted. My co-workers have been immensely empathetic. So I don't agree with the part on the statement because not 1 person didn't give me a hug when I came back to work. And they still listen to me, talk about her. Because I will never not talk about her. I try to keep her alive that way I mean, I have her Ashes. I know she's dead. Of course and one thing I can't say is I don't know if it was experienced this. Her brother had dreams about her right after her sister said she hasn't had any recent dreams but the first few years my dreams were the ones where you wake crying when you realize what happened and you just can't stop crying. I I've shed more tears and the last 4 years. I've shed in my heart. Pole lifetime, but the last few dreams I've had with her in them, a couple of them when she was like 16, you know how?
Sorry I didn't realize I put in 300 characters already. But she came to me as a young 16-year-old and the last dream I had of her. She was grown and I wasn't my new apartment that I'm in now for last year. And I remember crying because we were robbed. And I kept saying they took Maggie's Ashes. And she was right next to me and she kept saying it's okay, mom. It's OK, she is also said several times in my dreams. I gotta go I gotta go and those dreams. I think are her coming to me. I don't know, maybe it could be just by rain. Finally, wrapping around that suicide does happen. Of course, and this being suicide prevention month to me. Suicide is sorry to say. I don't believe is preventable, especially with adults who really struggle with the pain that they have and see. That as their only solution but awareness, especially for young children who seem to be taken their lives and teenagers who haven't even lived a life yet. Those I would like to see more mental health in the school. And I truly believe social media is hurting the young children of today. My daughter isolated herself after she got her masters. And couldn't find a job for 6 months and her husband said that for the last year prior to her death, she had been struggling again. Her nor her husband said anything to us. This came as a cannot believe what my 2 older brothers said to be when they knocked on my door I did literally hit my older daughter in the face when she told me because I told I just thought she was lying so you do go through what he states is that you feel like you're losing your. Mind I wasn't there for 3 years. I had a very good grief, counselor. And I stopped about a year ago and I just restarted and only to get through the minimal up-and-down feelings of paranoia and that, I had this heavy shadow over me and that people look at me differently and I know that's not true but trust me. I don't believe you can heal because if I heal then I have to accept that she's gone. Her older sister told me just a few days ago. That 1 thing, she misses so much as that. That was her best friend. You didn't know she was lying. Years older that she has no recent photos, the last photos we have of her. Was of Christmas Eve 2019 I took a photo of her and her husband and the biggest grin she had on her face and 3 months later. She was dead to the hope. I'm giving, I'm hoping that I'm giving that. I'm still here even though I have several times over the last few years. Thought I've just ended my own life but never really planned it and. I like the courage to do something like that and it takes a lot of courage.I am fearlessness.I didn't figure list this and if I could point out also to people to be continued
Wow. I'm so impressed that you've reached out for information about losing a loved one to suicide so early on. Your way of describing the shock and pain ("I feel like my soul is gone from my body") is grim but at the same time beautiful as it aptly describes the soul crushing pain of loss - further complicated by your brother taking his own life. I'm very sad to hear of your loss and your grief. Its going to take a while for you too fully grasp the impact of the loss, to sort through the unanswered questions you may have, to deal with the thoughts and emotions that inevitably come. But, you will be able to heal in time, especially if you find a venue where you can share your experience with others who have endured similar losses. Please check outwww.mygriefcare.com/grief-resources/ and click on the suicide link on the left side. Perhaps you can find something that would be helpful there.
I lost my son to suicide, and it has been hell on earth. I'm trying to heal, but it is a terrible journey.
I am so sorry 😞 jus kno you are not alone and you HAVE. To be STRONG for those around you and yourself and those to who lost loved ones to suicide. And for me💔 as I am going thru a similar situation
Edit: I left one of the most important things out out of emotional distress…god..Jesus…I promise you he’s the only Salvation we have in these times where the devil is running earth.
My deep condolences to you and your family. Let’s pray and pray and bless and lay all those loved good souls who saw no way out and let’s light a way for them. My broken grieving heart goes to you and everyone still breathing, Amen.
I'm so sorry! We just lost my step grandson and my poor son and daughter-in-law.
We are so sorry you lost your son. We are saddened by all the clients we have worked with that have experienced the same type of loss. This is happening too often. It is indeed a terrible journey and a long one. Please don't do it alone. There is a lot that can be done to make it a bit more bearable. Support is important. If you haven't found any, please check out our Grief Resources and Organizations page on our website. You can search by type of loss and how they died. www.mygriefcare.com/ Healing will take time. Be gracious and gentle with yourself. Embracing the pain is part of the healing but it is awful. Please get help for the journey. Thank you for sharing.
So sorry for your loss🙏 hope you can find your way in life must be so hard for you ❤
❤️
My husband died of the disease Depression, by his own hand, and I did not experience any shame, shunning, or ugliness from others; nor do I feel responsible.
He died of an awful Disease.
In fact, I forget sometimes that was HOW he died.
The SUDDENNESS is what has been the hardest, then sadness in thinking about how he suffered alone, and finally the missing of him being here.
For me, he is at peace, with God, and now I must build a new life.
Blessings to you all.
That is exactly how for 23 years I have been stating my brother's cause of death: he died of the disease of depression because that is the most accurate description of suicide and cuts off anyone who unfortunately is still in ignorance about how the disease affects the brain and those who still subscribe to old, stigmatizing, inaccurate ideas about it, the most damaging two being that it's a choice and/or that someone is to blame. If more explanation is needed after I state he died by the disease of depression, I simply say, "some people survive cancer. Some people don't. Some people survive depression. Some people don't" and that tends to get the point across. Public understanding has definitely gotten better over the years and I am glad that people are more and more understanding of how to offer positive support to survivors. More people speaking openly of their experiences with this particular aspect of the disease has hugely helped destigmatize it.
I think you are very right to determine the cause of your husbands death as depression. I'm so glad that you didn't get ugliness from other people in your life. Depression is an awful disease. It robs a person of joy, purpose, and hope among other things that make life seem precious and meaningful. I also agree that thinking of him now being with God is so wise and healing. You don't have to worry about or for him, because he is in good hands. And, finally, building a new life requires effort and persistence. I recommend to people that they consider that they are now writing a new chapter in their own life story. You probably won't write it down quite as one might write a memoir. Rather, you actually live it out, moment by moment and day by day. God's peace to you.
Thank you so much for this comment.
I have been greiving the death of my girlfriend and she was going through depression.
I can't help but think of all the more things I could have, should have done.
We consulted therapy, started yoga but every morning I used to get this feeling that her suffering is not getting better.
On one morning we went for a walk, came back home, had breakfast and watched some comedy. She laughed a lot and I thought we are making progress. Little did I knew that was the last one hour, the last laugh I'll ever have with her.
She took her life a couple of hours later.
I have been constantly renactinng the last couple of months as to what I could have done more and right and it has been painful. It also doesn't help as other stigmatise suicide as weak.
But your comment gives me strength to make some sense of what has happened and how to deal with it.
I am proud of her and will always carry her memories, spirit with me till the end of my life.
Your words "she is in good hands" is very powerful and thank you for helping me understand it.
I wish I could forget how my youngest daughter took her life at the age of 32 ,, the youngest of my 4 kids. I would give anything for her to have been in a car accident or have cancer or a terminal illness. Or have some sort of freak accident where there's no control. She planned it for 4 months, so don't tell me it was impulsive. Don't tell me that she didn't know what she was doing. She hsd her Master's in nutrition. She was a rock climber and an ice climber with her husband she ran Philly marathon. She travels to Peru , Africa and the last year of her life Apparently, she was struggling, but no one said anything to us. And I found out so much more after her death. But I will never forget how. she ended her life. She did die peacefully and supposedly painlessly. I don't know. I wasn't there. But she came into this world a beautiful baby. And she left this world a beautiful Yong woman. . I think I read her autopsy too many times, but the medical examiner t just describes her so beautifully down to all her tattoos and has clean nails were and just everything about her. It doesn't upset me because it was absolutely no trauma to her body.
Me and my kids are changed forever. And I honestly don't have anybody to blame anymore. I blame Her husband for a very long time. I was in therapy for 3 years, and I know my daughter is the one who made the decision. Or I should say her brain made the decision for her. But she left 7 letters and all of her letters mentioned. Everything that we had already known but never to the point that she would end her life over it. So I don't know what the last day they had together was 18 hours before he found her. I don't know what the argument was about. I don't know what was said. I do know there weren't any texts between them. Because the cops had her cell. But what differences does it make? I can't interrogate her husband anymore. He was put through enough trauma of just finding her and not believing that she did what she did and being so so sorry and he felt guilty that he should have done more. He sold the house, and I just pray that. He's 39 that he can go on and love someone who deserves his love.her ashes are with everyone who loved her I began the traveler that she was she's in Florida with her dad. She's in Pennsylvania with her husband She's in Colorado with her brother and she's here with me in jersey and her two sisters in new jersey
‘Died of the disease of depression’ is a very helpful - and accurate - way of describing it. Thank you.
Thank you Ron i needed this. I lost one of my best friend's and bandmate a month ago to suicide. It feels like a blur. Ive stayed busy with distractions with work and family outings but after the glitz of the day is over the grief is patiently waiting for me. I often think what i could have done differently to prevent this. So many unanswered questions. I feel so bad for his children they also lost their mother 5 years prior.
I listen to our favorite band Motorhead everyday and think about the good times but there is different kind of hollow in me now that i didnt have before even dealing with other deaths of family members the last two years. Maybe it's reactivated all of the grief ive been running from, from the last two years of losing my nephew then my mother the following year.
I try to keep a sunny outlook on life even in the bad times and it seems to help, that and lots of prayer to get me through the good and the bad times.
I just miss my friend and wish things were different. Thank you again for your post it helped me get through tonight.
My brother took his own life 3 months ago and it is still hard to to take it in, the chock, this new reality. He left behind a 15 year old son that i try to comfort as well as myself. Thank you very much for this video 💔.
It is shocking and overwhelming isn't it? Please look for support for you and his son. There are some great organizations out there to help. Please check out our resource page on mygriefcare.com if you're interested. Thank you.
Hey, I'm on this journey too. My sister killed herself 3 months ago, I would love to join a suicide survivors group or something like that, but I haven't found it.
@@Your-Grief-Guides Thank you ❤️
@@GuimelRomero I'm sorry for your loss 🙏. There is no groups here in Sweden where you can meet in person, not yet anyway. I will look up the answer from Your-Grief-Guides.
My girlfriend slipped down a slope. We were homeless, and she took her life in front of me on Halloween this past October. I am having trouble because I still wake up like she's still around
I hope you are doing better now. Losing someone like that is the hardest.
Four months after I lost my best friend, im here, watching videos for affirmation that I should keep walking this path. I never thought I'd feel so broken as a grown man, but i lost a brother. He wasn't just a friend, or my best friend, he was someone I was supposed to watch grow old and gray, raising his family. We were supposed to make music together until we were too senile or arthritic to play. If youre reading this keep going. Keep fighting for room to experience joy in life again. The ones we love would want to see us grow and prosper. I beleive in you.
This is such a rough patch to go through. You probably have questions to which there are no answers available. You've not just lost your dear friend, but also shared dreams of sharing life, experiencing family and your music. You are right that those we lose would want to see others continue to grow and prosper. While it may be hard for you to completely accept the brokenness you are experiencing, I can assure you that it is a natural and normal response to losing a person who means so much to you. 4 months can sure seem long, but a relative short period of time to recover from a tough loss. Take it easy on yourself, allow yourself to feel your emotions, find a good safe way to express them (writing song lyrics, or a letter to him that you may not share with anyone, finding privacy so you can speak to him aloud without embarrassment). You'll be fine in time, if you allow yourself to feel and express honestly and uncensored.
Ron
This has just happened to me too yesterday, word for word. My best friend
thank you, my beautiful boyfriend Jackson Oliver took his life in front of me March 25th and it’s been the worst pain imaginable. I can’t imagine other people going through the pain that I’m going through but I have so much compassion for those grieving too.
I was blocked by a helpline few days ago for contacting it too often - to speak about my friend who died. The last person I spoke to from the helpline said that I was unhealthy for speaking about it again and again. I am so angry.
What? That's awful. I'm so sorry to hear that. That just shows me how much people don't understand grief. It isn't unhealthy to talk about our losses. But, as we can see, it makes a big difference in "who" we talk to about it. I don't know anything about your situation, but I would offer up a couple of thoughts. Consider going to the resources page on our free websitewww.mygriefcare.com/grief-resources/ and see if there are any resources listed there that might be of help to you. Second, consider reading books that address suicide. There are a few on this Amazon link that we think are pretty good like "No time to say goodbye" - "Aftermath" - "But I didn't say goodbye" (www.amazon.com/s?k=books+about+suicide&crid=2C2DN5SL9RV54&sprefix=books+about+suicide%2Caps%2C128&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
How do you cope when someone you loved dies this way, alone, and you had lost touch with them because you were wrapped up in your own problems? You didn't even lose touch. You intentionally didn't reply the last time they checked in. It's very hard to come to terms with what has happened when you realize you may have been that person's last lifeline, but you couldn't bring yourself to reply because of selfishness. I feel like only now do I realize how important we were to one another. I didn't realize how much he might have needed me to check back in. I know I let him down. I didn't deserve such a good friend to begin with.
You wasn’t selfish when you didn’t reply I feel you. I feel the same way . Remember this you replying or not replying wouldn’t have made a difference. Even if it would have which I doubt we will never know so stop assuming that you could have saved them. Do you know for one committed suicide people often make 10-20 suicide attempts first ?
My father committed suicide one month ago TODAY. I live with guilt and rejection but I know that I couldn’t have saved him bc ask yourself this question what if u had replyd? And they wouldn’t have killed themselves that day . Good nice u think u saved them ? No. How will we know they wouldn’t have done it a day after ? A week after or a year after ? People that are suicidal eventually will commit suicide prevention rarely helps. Also someone told me (bc I also intentionally didn’t reply ) : if in that moment you made that decision you felt right with the decision you couldn’t have known that this would have happend so this was only an impulsive decision that you made in that moment which means nothing. You wouldn’t make the same decision of not replying if u knew what was gonna happen…
Thank you so much... @@minnesota5513your words are true gold
One of my oldest and dearest friends committed suicide just under a month ago. I feel so completely numb and hollow. It feels almost impossible to move past the great loss from her being gone.
It is a significant loss and it's not something you just move past from. Feeling numb and hollow is distressing but entirely appropriate for what has happened. It hurts so much because you cared for her so much. We encourage you look for some grief support if you want it. Not everyone does. There are groups everywhere and you can look on our mygriefcare.com website under resources to see if anything appeals to you. Hang in there. It does get better. But sometimes that is hard to believe. Thank you for your comment.
My younger brother committed suicide recently, I am not able to digest how can a always smiling person like hime with no visible signs of depression can do that. After my dad’s accident 5 year’s ago he was the one I looking forward to live my life for and now with his sudden demise I not sure what’s my purpose of life anymore , feels like everything is finished
Of course it does. You must feel overwhelmed and lost. We are so sorry for your suffering. Please reach out for support. Don't do this alone. We have lots of support resources and organizations for you on our website www.mygriefcare.com/. Thanks for sharing.
I lost someone to suicide, I must say that I did not know him well, he was someone who you would meet out on a night out in the pub. He was a freind of my best friend,I only meet him properly on night he took his own life January the 6th/7). My freinds and I were the only ones who were with him in the pub before he took his own life[apart from the bar owner, maybe their were a few other punters in pub idk]. I can not describe how this has affected me, but I don't really know how to feel to be honest. He did save me when I got attacked one night on the 31st of January 2022. I am been n emotional and I don't know to be honest, how to responde.
To end this comment I want to hold a moment of sleince for Carlo.
Rest in peace Carlo
You were a hero
And I wish you
Where still around
Brother.
Your post is beautiful and authentic. Your statement at the end is so heart felt. Consider getting some help from qualified professionals, maybe a temporary leave from work, and hang out only with people who are not judging you and trying to fix you. Your pain is real. The fact that you didn't know Carlo really well does not diminish your pain or mean there is something wrong with you. Be kind to yourself.
My best friend took her life. There are still many, whys? I can get though the day. The next morning I'm looking for answers.
I feel like she knew exactly what was going to happen. I don't know how to say goodbye. I don't want her, not here. She's gone and everyone is going about their business. I feel like I'm drowning in oxygen.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can hear how profoundly you must miss her and how confusing a time this is for you right now. My deepest sympathies to you.
@@missotis13 Thank you very much for your kind words.
The "why" questions are, of course, completely natural and normal to experience under these circumstances. At some point, accepting the "not knowing" is paired with accepting that your beautiful friend is gone. And, healing over time is possible if you are able to accept that your friend is gone and can no longer be with you in this life, to process all the feelings that accompany such a loss, to allow yourself to adjust to a world without your friend, and to figure out the best way(s) to remember your friend and honoring her by living your life intentionally in a way that - for some reason - she could no longer endure. I hope and pray that you'll find your way through this time of deep pain and a yearning for such a special person who is just out of reach.
I hope no body experience suicide
death
I have lost my beloved girlfriend of
15 Years to suicidal death last year
I don’t think I will never
Recover 💔
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my only son to suicide 3 months ago. Try to find a Grief Share group. It has helped me. I pray that you find peace.
@@lorettachampion4473
Thank you
Very much for your
Thoughts and suggestions
I will do that!
Hope all the best to you
Sorry for loosing your
Son
Lost my bestfriend too suicide March 1st this year shit fucks me up so bad I miss him sm I hope your doing alright man
@@trevonkobin6599
Thank you
I’m not really doing ok
But lm fighting my demons I hope one day I will be feeling better
all the best to you
and so sorry for the loss of your friend
💔
My deepest condolences to everyone as I just lost the mother of my child (3yrold girl) to suicide on July 27th. We were separated but I love her. Life will never be the same so I pray for peace, love and Light for those who lost a loved one and those who returned to god. It takes a lot of willpower to live at this point, so from now on we breathe for those gone and remain strong for those crushed by life’s pressure
God bless everyone, Jesus is coming soon and I cannot wait.
Sir, you nailed the feels I have been dancing with since 2007. Thank you for all that you are doing, for survivors.
Thank you for your kind words. Losing someone you love is hard enough, but losing them this way adds so much more to the pain.
Thank you so much for doing this series on suicide loss and the challenges loss survivors face. I love also how you offered steps for healing and thoughts to ponder. I can't say enough how helpful these were. I am deeply grateful. I hope you will continue with these. Your longer one plus hour interview with the woman who lost 2 husbands to suicide was excellent also. I hope you will maybe do some other segments on the unique loss of a child, a sibling, or a friend to suicide. The ones you have done so far have had a real impact on me.
Thank you. We are continually working on new content. There is so much to address. Our list of topics keeps growing.
My best friend almost committed suicide and is in a mental hospital. I'm so scared
Is your friend ok now?
Lost my older brother back in September. Today wouldve been his 39th birthday. I love you brother
My younger brother and I were texting with my older brother minutes before he killed himself. It's added a dimension of trauma
Thanks for leaving the reply. Probably someone else will read that and think "I'm not the only one," It is mysterious and very unsettling that we might be talking to someone as just another day in the life and very shortly thereafter they take their life. I've sadly heard this story too many times. And, I've come to believe that most people (who go on to die by suicide) are quite careful to not let on the depth of their underlying despair that ultimately leads to them taking action. Adding a "dimension of trauma" to loved ones? You are so right. I'm sorry to hear of your loss.
I lost my father for 2 months ago he hagedam him self just suddenly 😢 my world is destroyed
We know your world has turned upset down. Losing your father would be hard enough but this way compounds the pain. We are so sorry. Please get some support. There are many grief support groups out there and social media grief groups and there are some great organizations that help specifically with loss by suicide. We have a listing of them on our Grief Resource and Organization page on mygriefcare.com. Please don't do this journey alone. And give yourself tremendous grace. You don't get over this quickly - and you aren't supposed to.
I needed this 🥺 thankyou 🤍
Thank You So Much. May God Bless You!!!
I lost my 21 yr old sis Carla, i n 1978. I thought we would grow old together. I have not healed. 😮😢❤
Thank you for sharing your personal story. I appreciate it as there’s not much information. It truly helps me to hear other people stories so I really appreciate your family struggle and your courage to speak about it . Sadly, they’re so little information I’ve already seen this video about 10 times & I’m going to watch it again. My husband Mark Yeo took his life July 22, 2016. I thought he was the love of my life we met online & married 4 months after meeting April fools Day 2012. Now I can see the irony of the wedding date as well as the signs of an abusive relationship. I have never told anyone this because I was too embarrassed and blamed myself however that morning I had enough of the lies & chaos & I asked for a divorce. I came home with my 8 year old daughter & found his body I completely went into shock for eight years unknowingly. My close friends told me I’m lucky that he didn’t take me with him as he loved me too much to see me with another man and that my daughter is the only reason that I’m alive as he wouldn’t want her to find my body or he would’ve shot me in my sleep, and then himself, I struggle with this idea, but that’s what those closest to me saw in the relationship. His father Clayton Yeo I was notified by his family (who blamed me for Marks death) that his father took his life last month. They asked me how my husband did it they couldn’t remember if it was the heart or head. I couldn’t believe they’re asking me. Anyways, I’ve been re-triggered wondering what to do. I’ve never seen a therapist looking back. I did start my UA-cam channel and I wasn’t sure why, but recently, I began to read the letters that he wrote to me apologizing saying how loves etc. and I’m trying to make the channel useful. I’m wondering how I can be useful although I’m struggling. Any ideas? Also wondering if this is genetic? Also wondering what I need to do to relieve my ptsd that I’ve never acknowledged. I had to raise my kids so put on a fake character & it worked for them they’re doing excellent & well thank God. As of 2024 I’m 45 empty nest & figuring out how when & where to begin my life. I don’t want to be a victim or survivor. I’ve got to let this story go… wishing you all well & thank you for your time, Michelle
First and foremost - your husband's death is not your responsibility and its not your fault. Based on your description, he was not a psychologically or relationally healthy person. I'm not demonizing him - but an abusive person is not mentally healthy. And this did leave him more subject to doing harm to himself. And, yes, there are some genetics involved here. A person is at higher risk of trying suicide if his/her parent died by suicide. Obviously, that's not a giant risk, but it does suggest that children whose biological parent died by suicide should focus on keeping themselves healthy both psychologically and relationally. Considering that the loss of your husband was years ago, but apparently is not entirely resolved, suggests that professional help would be a good idea. Some ideas are finding a qualified therapist to help you deal with both the trauma and loss. A therapist who is certified in EMDR and who has additional training in dealing with grief and loss would be a good choice. Check out psychology.com and search for therapists with those criteria in your area. You might also consider attending a widow's healing retreat. Because your case is complicated and long lasting, I would point you toward our widow intensive healing retreat in California. www.griefandtraumahealing.com/widows-grief-retreat/ Our success level in helping widows struggling with complicated grief is very strong. It doesn't have to stay this way. You don't need to come to us - but please get yourself some professional help. Life's too short to be encumbered by that sort of baggage. Best to you.
@@Your-Grief-Guides thank you for replying. I appreciate that I do understand now that I was involved in a domestic abuse situation that took me a long time to see that the reason I believe that this is genetic is because his father‘s wife notified me that his father shot himself in the heart in September 2024, which leads me to believe that there’s something going on and in many other families because I have many people come to me saying my mom my dad and me and my brother and my sister, they just keep going and going and going, so I’m working on helping other people. That’s what I do. I appreciate you. Thank you for the information. I will use it and forward it on and keep paying it forward God bless you!
Yash, we will love you forever. You are like a brother to us. We wish that you're at peace and not in pain anymore. We wish you can feel our love from the other side. We will always remember you and miss you. And we aren't angry you left us, but we are sad.
Unimaginable loss. I feel like my person fell right thru the cracks.. I find myself talking to him out loud. I want to talk him out of it.
Yes - you are experiencing unimaginable loss. We recommend that you consider getting some professional help. One option that we think is pretty good is the Grief Recovery Method approach that you can learn more about at www.griefrecoverymethod.com/our-programs/support-groups. Some specialists also offer 1:1 help. Or, find a counselor/coach/therapist professional who has some specialized training in grief.
People don't realize some suicides can be as tho the mind hypnotizes itself....they aren't planned. ....Instantly these thoughts come on very suddenly... and with such euthoria..and determination...the mind has switched and the plan will be carried out ..without warning or care towards others.....hence .teenager comes home from college..asks mum what's be for dinner...goes upstairs ..then mum finds them an hour later..
You are right. And, I can tell you that I've had young clients who were battling with various problems (including depression, bullying, history of abuse, etc.) who have done exactly what you just described. I hope others are reading your comment and taking heed.
I just got News an old time friend committed suicide, my mind is running crazy I don't understand why they were full of life! I don't even know how to begin praying for them 😢😢 thanks for this video
So sorry to hear about your loss. Learning of a death by suicide is surely one of the hardest pieces of news that anyone can get. I don't think you need to know how to pray for them - but God knows your heart. Just pour out your heart to him and don't censor your words. You won't offend God and he has infinite patience. And, since you may never know why your friend made that choice please just try to understand the depth of psychological and emotional pain they were feeling, forgive them (if you hold any anger) because sometimes we can actually and paradoxically feel anger. Blessings and peace to you.
What are ways to offer support to my sister and nephew.
My brother-in- law died by suicide (from bipolar disorder) 3 months ago.
I feel so out of my depth. The surviving child is only 12...
Hi Hannah: I'm just now getting around to this. I can't keep up with people's posts. I so sorry for your loss and what your sister and her son are going through right now. A couple of suggestions are to try to help your sister and nephew in simple practical ways. I recommend trying to find a few minutes to sit with her and then ask her about how you could be a help to her. Your presence will be far more healing than any words you can speak right now. Also, it would be good if your sister could potentially seek out a grief specialist (coach, clergy, therapist, counselor) to help guide her through processing her grief. And, if there are grief support groups she could join in person or online, it tends to help people who feel that they're all alone in a time of desperation. If she is in a tough financial position, you might steer her toward Wings for Widows - a non-profit service that will help give her guidance according to her needs (they aren't financial investment services - just give general advice on debt, budgeting, etc.)
Just lost my love my boyfriend to suicide and it’s like an atomic bomb Hiroshima just fall on me the pain mentally, emotionally and physical is beyond anything i have ever experienced💔 it’s comes in waves and the pain in my chest, back, all my body feels like on fire.. surreal, so heartbroken, feel paralyzed and can’t get myself to move and all the time I just want to sleep, fatigue all day, lost interest in everything but, I force myself because I have to care for my childrens and pets.. I feel like I’m hallucination at time in a parallel dimension where I see the walls of the room we ones shared and have some weird smell out of the blue in my home even though I clean all.
Wow. Those are some powerfully descriptive words and so appropriate to describe the pain, disorientation and heartbreak you are experiencing. I'm probably going to borrow some of your terms (obviously without identifying you) to help other people understand. The phase you are in right now, we call "just surviving" and I am thankful that your children and pets are giving you a sense of purpose and meaning. Your boyfriend did choose you take his own life. That is not your fault. You are not guilty. You are naturally devastated. And, your children need you. But, they don't need you to be super woman. They don't need you to be perfect. It's OK for them to see that you are very hurt, perhaps fearful, grappling with the pain, and you all can lean on each other (just not to make them the parent, of course). You might want to consider finding counseling with a therapist who is trained in dealing with trauma and grief (yes, this kind of loss is clearly traumatic) for both you and your children. My heart goes out to you.
@@Your-Grief-Guides thanks it’s been a real challenge cause i feel my nerve system it’s in shutdown and can’t control when the wave comes, I am trying to allow it to go through naturally and cry when I need too till I can’t no more I’m looking through my insurance to get the help I need cause it’s really paralyzed me, at the moment I’m taking one day at the time.. and yes no problem! I’m sharing it because I want people to know how this feel so they don’t feel they are alone or are the only ones to experience this symptoms.. it’s real and never though in my life to feel pain like this..
My brother killed himself and I'm feeling constant existential dread.
My girlfriend did take her own life. It's absolutely horrible and never experienced this amount of pain before. We spilt up just 2 months before but remained best friends. The only years she was not hostipalized was when we were together. She didn't want me moving out until her new roommate was ready to move in. I would of still been there when she took her life. I know I could of prolonged her life and less regret as well as had more time with her. I'd do anything to see her again for just a second so if I got another 2 months nothing is not wroth that. Her mom won't even let me see attend her funeral or know where she was laid to rest. Her mom had no relationship with her either it's brutal
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend. My prayers for your peace. Please know that you are not responsible for her taking her life. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Unfortunately, we must bear the burden of this. Try to find a therapy group. Being around those who are going through it will help you. Search out survivors of suicide.
Lost my son 7-16 😭😭
we're so sorry to hear of your loss. Obviously, I don't have more detail, but I do think that everyone who loses a loved one to suicide would benefit from find some group resources (consider looking at www.mygriefcare.com/grief-resources/ and click on the suicide link) and getting some qualified counseling.
😢 sorry I loss my son too I pray we heal
Well i highly suspect a bassist of my favorite band commited suicide and i can't really talk with my family about it because they don't understand. I am myself kinda suicidal and he threw himself into abyss not alone but grabbed by the wrist me and lot of people with him. I know it is not something he wanted
How frustrating. You learn of a death by suicide and aren't able to really talk with your family. Please consider finding someone you really can talk to who has some knowledge and training about grief and loss. You know, suicide is a sort of solution - but its a terrible solution. Terrible because you simply don't know what many good things may happen in your life - especially if you are open to the possibilities. You made this comment a month or so ago. I sure hope you are OK. If not - please find a therapist/counselor/coach or physician to help you. I promise you that there are good things ahead that you cannot see right now. I also promise you that hope can be regenerated. Sometimes we need other people to help us see it. Praying for you right now.
Nope my fill in the blank was" what the fuck were you thinking"......
I'm "guessing" now that you are speaking of your confusion about and/or anger with the person you lost. Losing someone to suicide is typically overwhelming. We can be legitimately angry and/or confused by the reality of what might seem like such a pointless death. Working with family and friends of people who died by suicide has shown me that everything from denial (they can't really be dead, or, I don't think they did this to themselves - someone or something else must be involved) to screaming "How could you have done this to me?" is to be expected. To answer your question, I can almost guarantee you that the moment that the person took the fatal act, they weren't thinking clearly, they were experiencing some level of debilitating psychological/emotional pain that they couldn't think clearly. And, that is one reason that accepting and healing from the death of a loved one to suicide is so hard to experience. I'm very sad to hear of your loss.
@202triciae My fill in the blank answer was:
"I'm so sorry I failed to save you."
As someone with a postgraduate degree in psychology (Forensic Psychology), I feel I should have noticed the signs that my military veteran husband was going to take his own life. There was nothing out of the ordinary to set off any warning bells. In fact, he seemed to be in a good mood the week before he died. Even 14 months later I still feel like I could've done something to save his life if only I had noticed something was 'wrong'.
I've never felt so numb in my life as I do now .l lost my best friend to suicide the pain and hart break 💔it brings to the ones that they left behind .please if anyone thinks of doing this stop talk to someone the pain it leaves behind is so hard for your family and friends there's always a way out 🙏please dont do it❤
We are so sorry to hear your suffering. Losing one you love is hard enough but losing them this way, it only compounds the pain. Please know that there is support out there for you.
❤
I think my boyfriend is going to kill himself. I can't breathe and he's not responding to any messages, I'm so scared and i just want to know if he's okay and what I did wrong I love him so much and I don't know what to do without him
That must feel terrifying. I'm not sure if you actually wronged him in some way, but you are not responsible for decisions that he may make himself. I hope my note back to you finds that some things have already be resolved. If you have evidence to suggest your fears are real and he won't respond, you could try reporting your concerns to the local law enforcement and they might arrange to do a welfare check - just to see how he's doing. Hoping for the best.
If I can give any hope to any other parent has lost. An adult child to suicidei can tell you that 4 years after my youngest daughter took her life at the home, she shared with her husband he's the one who found her is that she planned. She researched it. She knew exactly when she was going to do it. She wanted to wait until all of her siblings and her dad was back in the states. She called me the day before. I also saw her 4 months prior and I've never seen her more peaceful and loving. Not that that means anything she definitely had. Undagnosed mental illness, her husband and I talked in depth about her having borderline personality but she never sought therapy or took drugs. And didn't want to, she always felt. To be perfect, she had to heal herselfi won't go into the details of how she died or everything that she accomplished over her 32 years of life but the ups and Downs we're almost like on a yearly basis or monthly basis for me and her 3 older siblings for me, especially. I went back to work as quickly. As possible because it was just as COVID hit. In Jersey, she died in Pennsylvania and we were able to see her 3 days after her death and had her cremated. Because there was no way I was burying one of my children and her husband was so catatonic that he didn't say anything. By the way, she did not have any children and she wrote that in her notes that she had wanted children and felt that she was too old. Again, she left 7 letters to her husband he shared all those we found out much more after her death call my husband that we had no idea but year one was spent as zombies. Your 2 was horrible because it started to become reality. Here's 3 got even worse because. I was in such denial that she actually did it like he said. You don't. Your disbelief is like you. Just cannot believe that they did that and now it should year 4. I'm struggling just with the acceptance of losing her. I still have feelings of disbelief at times I keep myself distracted with my older kids and my grandchildren. Who bring smiles to my face? My work I love and I work every day very hard at what I do to stay distracted. My co-workers have been immensely empathetic. So I don't agree with the part on the statement because not 1 person didn't give me a hug when I came back to work. And they still listen to me, talk about her. Because I will never not talk about her. I try to keep her alive that way I mean, I have her Ashes. I know she's dead. Of course and one thing I can't say is I don't know if it was experienced this. Her brother had dreams about her right after her sister said she hasn't had any recent dreams but the first few years my dreams were the ones where you wake crying when you realize what happened and you just can't stop crying. I I've shed more tears and the last 4 years. I've shed in my heart. Pole lifetime, but the last few dreams I've had with her in them, a couple of them when she was like 16, you know how?
Sorry I didn't realize I put in 300 characters already. But she came to me as a young 16-year-old and the last dream I had of her. She was grown and I wasn't my new apartment that I'm in now for last year. And I remember crying because we were robbed. And I kept saying they took Maggie's Ashes. And she was right next to me and she kept saying it's okay, mom. It's OK, she is also said several times in my dreams. I gotta go I gotta go and those dreams. I think are her coming to me. I don't know, maybe it could be just by rain. Finally, wrapping around that suicide does happen. Of course, and this being suicide prevention month to me. Suicide is sorry to say. I don't believe is preventable, especially with adults who really struggle with the pain that they have and see. That as their only solution but awareness, especially for young children who seem to be taken their lives and teenagers who haven't even lived a life yet. Those I would like to see more mental health in the school. And I truly believe social media is hurting the young children of today. My daughter isolated herself after she got her masters. And couldn't find a job for 6 months and her husband said that for the last year prior to her death, she had been struggling again. Her nor her husband said anything to us. This came as a cannot believe what my 2 older brothers said to be when they knocked on my door I did literally hit my older daughter in the face when she told me because I told I just thought she was lying so you do go through what he states is that you feel like you're losing your. Mind I wasn't there for 3 years. I had a very good grief, counselor. And I stopped about a year ago and I just restarted and only to get through the minimal up-and-down feelings of paranoia and that, I had this heavy shadow over me and that people look at me differently and I know that's not true but trust me. I don't believe you can heal because if I heal then I have to accept that she's gone. Her older sister told me just a few days ago. That 1 thing, she misses so much as that. That was her best friend. You didn't know she was lying. Years older that she has no recent photos, the last photos we have of her. Was of Christmas Eve 2019 I took a photo of her and her husband and the biggest grin she had on her face and 3 months later. She was dead to the hope. I'm giving, I'm hoping that I'm giving that. I'm still here even though I have several times over the last few years. Thought I've just ended my own life but never really planned it and. I like the courage to do something like that and it takes a lot of courage.I am fearlessness.I didn't figure list this and if I could point out also to people to be continued
I lost my brother to ss today and I feel like my soul is gone from my body
Wow. I'm so impressed that you've reached out for information about losing a loved one to suicide so early on. Your way of describing the shock and pain ("I feel like my soul is gone from my body") is grim but at the same time beautiful as it aptly describes the soul crushing pain of loss - further complicated by your brother taking his own life. I'm very sad to hear of your loss and your grief. Its going to take a while for you too fully grasp the impact of the loss, to sort through the unanswered questions you may have, to deal with the thoughts and emotions that inevitably come. But, you will be able to heal in time, especially if you find a venue where you can share your experience with others who have endured similar losses. Please check outwww.mygriefcare.com/grief-resources/ and click on the suicide link on the left side. Perhaps you can find something that would be helpful there.