the reality of moving to a new city on your own | one year later
Вставка
- Опубліковано 11 лип 2024
- what's changed, what i've realized, and how i've grown from a year in a new state & new city & new life :-)))
media mentioned:
⋆ why i moved to seattle: • moving on | why i'm le...
⋆ video on loneliness: • The power of loneliness
⋆ how to make friends in a new city: • how i made new friends...
⋆ aaaaand all of my vlogs from my first ever trip to seattle if you wanna reminisce with me:
- day 1: • Sharing My Best Hacks ...
- day 2: • I've Wanted to Come He...
- day 3: • 24 HOURS ALONE IN VANC...
- day 4: • Meeting Subscribers, T...
- day 5: • What I Did On My Last ...
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🥝 spotify: open.spotify.com/user/1225150...
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🔮 ask me: kather0ut.tumblr.com/ask
time stamps
- 0:00 - what i’ve gained by moving
- 1:33 - catching you up
- 2:45 - moving epiphany #1
- 7:21 - moving epiphany #2!
- 9:00 - seattle likes & dislikes
- 13:21 - washington vs. california
- 13:50 - suburbs vs. city
- 15:15 - making friends
- 15:35 - does seattle feel like home yet?
- 17:15 - how to cope with the unfamiliarity
she/her.
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I lived in KC all my life and moved to MN for high school. When I left KC I had the mentality of, “it could all burn down and I don’t really mind.” In the 5 years I spent in MN I grew a lot. I also realized there IS in fact novelty about KC as a person at a different point in my life. A person who was now of college age. I moved back to KC and have been here since 2015. There is something to be said about moving back to a place you once felt had no novelty left and finding novelty due to your different place in life. It’s wholesome honestly. At this time I feel incredibly called to Montana as I’m seeking a novel landscape and I’ve never wanted to stay put in the place I grew up, but I have discovered the importance of family which might be a stronger force for me.
I feel this! I loved LA when I lived here in 2015, but had never lived in NYC and wanted to experience that. I just moved back to LA a few days ago :)
I'm originally from Chicago and have lived in Seattle, San Francisco, and currently LA. The pursuit of novelty is definitely a big motivator, and it's that constant "what if..." that lives in the back of your head. I would encourage everyone to at least try it at some point in their lives. Living in multiple places has helped me understand myself so much better - learning what I like and don't like, what I want my lifestyle to be, what kind of people I liked being around, etc. It can definitely be lonely and isolating at times, and I still haven't quite mastered the art of creating community, but I've really loved your oversharing series to see how normal those feelings are. Thanks for starting the convo!
Thank you for sharing!! I want so badly to change my environment and try to live somewhere else (ideally on my own) but worry about it being lonely, unfamiliar, and whether i can even sustain myself financially. Any tips/advice?
Hello! I was contemplating moving to Seattle earlier this year and that's how I stumbled upon your channel. I pulled the trigger and packed up my life and moved here in May! I'm also coming from California and in my mid 20's. I agree with a lot of the lessons you've learned in moving to a new city - and Seattle specifically too. It's been so refreshing and healing to explore a new city on my own and learn to be alone again. It's started to feel like home and it's a really nice feeling. Thankful for your content - especially the oversharing. : - )
I recently moved to a different country for the third time in my adult life. It's been interesting to see which aspects of a place are compatible and incompatible with me as I've built a life there. I too found a preference for a slower pace of life, because work is usually super go-go-go. Your thoughts on novelty vs comfort resonated with me. I am definitely prioritizing novelty atm but at the same time, I am finding that comfort (via routines like you mentioned) is what grounds me and positions me to enjoy the novelty of a new place.
yesss compatibility is a great framework to look at a city through - not everything is good or bad, just not compatible with your lifestyle!
truth on restaurants staying open later😀 Your answers resonated with me because they are so similar to why I love Seattle. (originally from LA) You can build the life you want and nature is second to none. I love walking in parts of the city that have trees, First Hill, Capital Hill, etc. There is something magical about nature in the City. Paddling boarding or just floating on the many bodies of water around the city is amazing. really love the oversharing series - it hits IRL
you get it!
This just as a side note but it's crazy how much you've changed in the last 5 yrs. Seeing that 2017 footage looks like I'm watching an entirely different person!
RIGHT
Your intro talking about how moving Seattle was cathartic moment for you spoke so much to me. When I loved from Louisiana to the Bay Area two years ago, it was something I told myself I would the summer before my last year of college if I ever got the chance. Spent the last two years out here in the Bay and it's been the best two years of my life. The way you put how you feel moving here is exactly how I feel but could never put it as eloquently as you did. Thank you.
❤❤❤
I just moved from Seattle to Colorado, after 20 years in Washington and I resonated with all you had to say about the feelings (but for Colorado). And it’s definitely added a spark back by shaking things up. I just quit my job too, so it has a ripple effect on life that has so far been incredibly positive. I also moved to Seattle from Miami, 6 days after turning 18 and it was the same for me back then as now. Loving the channel.
All of the green in the background is so beautiful 💚💚💚
I just moved from NYC to LA (where I lived once before, for just a year). I have been thinking a lot about vlogging about it honestly! I definitely resonated with a lot of what you said in this video.
I’m back watching this video again because I’m moving at the end of May! I grew up in the greater Seattle area but I think I’m finally ready to move to Seattle proper. I’m so nervous but very excited and inspired by you!
Okay binging your channel at this point- but a lot of your perspectives actually make me feel lighter... so again thank you for sharing your thoughts!
First off - bravo for such a conversational and well thought out video on the mindset of moving to a new city.
For sure moving as a task is by far the most horrible experience anyone can have unless you have zero possessions- then no moving is not FUN.. But it IS possible to land in a world unknown and find rhythm and identity.
I’ve moved 15 times in the past 20 years. Sometimes to a town with in the same state sometimes different state and sometimes different country. The best move has by far been to where I’m currently at and happens to also be the PNW. I hope all can find the way a place of the earth makes you feel like the ground beneath you breathes with you. Some of it is self guided and other times it’s self discovery. Cheers!
so excited for this!! i just moved to a new city and have loved your insights
omg congrats!! where did you move?
@@Katherout Thank you!! From CT to Stockholm, Sweden 🎉
I moved from the bay area to Philly for college and even though I have family in the area it really took until senior year to truly feel like it was home. I am still living here 3 years later and I do get very homesick and plan to move back to California eventually, but there is nothing like building a whole life for yourself in a new place. I would be a much different person if I had never gotten out of my comfort zone in that way.
tooootally it's worth the experience even if it doesn't last a lifetime
just moved from philly to the bay area for my first yr of college and it's been a crazy jarring experience. I miss philly everyday but I'm glad you're feeling more settled there!
I just moved to Seattle from SoCal on Jan 2 of this year and truly this has been the best year of my life! I just don't think I was meant to be in California 😅Reminds me of the quote "When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower". My personality went from cynical and lost, to appreciating all the little things in life and wanting to spread happiness to everyone! I decided to move here on a whim after a 5-year relationship ended, and it was the best decision of my life. I absolutely love the seasons here, the mountains and trees (and being so accessible!), all the excellent food, being near water... I could go on and on :) I also got my dream job a few months in so that helped immensely as well. The only things I don't like are a little bit of what you touched on; so many places here don't stay open late enough, and also it is so hard to drive here and it's definitely taken some getting used to. The biggest thing for me though is that there are often times when I don't feel safe walking down the street because there are so many homeless people; I usually make sure that my pepper spray is visible when walking in areas I don't feel safe in. All in all though it's an absolute dream here, and I feel like I have grown in ways I cannot put into words. I got so excited last year when seeing that you were planning on moving here too and have loved being a part of your emotional journey here 💛
I just discovered your channel and I’m in love! I can relate to most of the things you’re saying, also makes me feel better that I’m not alone being 27 with similar thoughts, I will be moving cities soon too❤
It’s always crazy to me to watch your reflections because we moved at the same time and now I’m like it’s been a year and I feel so comfortable in new york that i cant imagine none of this existed a year ago. Your reflections always help me reflect on my life and keep myself accountable 🫶🏼
ok hello verified creator….. we remain aligned in so many ways 🫶🏻
If you ever do a follow-up, I’d love to know how you cope with the knowledge that folks who are from the city are unhappy with the influx of Californians moving there, as well as the moral rub of being a part of gentrification/driving up prices. I just moved from CA to Denver this summer and I already have social anxiety… and I can’t get over the embarrassment I feel that I’m from CA. I get nervous to talk to people because I am plagued by the idea that they wish I wasn’t living in their city.
Try not to worry what others think! Their thoughts of you (especially for something that literally none of us can help: being from a certain place) are only a reflection of their character, not yours -- keep doing you and you will meet the right people! I also moved from CA to Seattle just this past year, and I've definitely worried a little bit about what people think especially seeing my CA license plate, but there are good people and bad people everywhere. You are doing amazingly just moving to a new city 🥰 keep it up!!
Would love to hear her thoughts on this as well because I feel like this is how people think about Californians moving to their cities no matter what the state is.
Welcome back Miss Katherine!! Happy October!! Glad to see you again my friend 😊😊.
thank you friend 😊😊
Your face at 12:13 was simply Euphoric 😊
I’m from the small town in the Central Valley of California and I recently accepted a full time job offer starting September in SF. I understand exactly how you describe novelty being central to moving to a new area. I could stay where I’m at and be comfortable but it just isn’t appealing to me. I am excited to move to SF, and I’m not taking a car because I’m forcing myself to live in walkable neighborhood and be more active/experience city life. I also recently visited Seattle and omg I didn’t think I would love it so much. It’s so beautiful, maybe one day I’ll move there after being in the bay! Great video and scenery.
Just moved to London a week ago from Pittsburgh in the USA and I really like your tip about going to the same place regularly. It’s crazy how similar this place is to my home town and yet so many things are foreign. Side note: it rains less here than Seattle and yet Seattle rains less than Pittsburgh, and I am having a hard time adjusting to so much SUN, which is ironic.
Moved from Illinois to Idaho site unseen last year with my husband. Didn't know a single soul. We absolutely love it here and your tip about finding a place to go to over and over is a great tip! We did that with a local coffee shop and it really helped us feel more comfortable in a new space. I also, lived in Scotland for a year, and totally recommended people getting out of their home towns for at least a little while. You really do start to see the place where you are from with a different lense 😁
exactlyyyyy
I've lived in Virginia for the last 13 years and I'm moving to Vermont in a few weeks!! I hope my experience there will be like the one you've had, it's been great watching your journey
ahhhh wishing you the best!!
I just moved to Seattle a month and a half ago. I love it so far!
I’m moving to Seattle in a few months! This video was a great help in setting my expectations.
It’ll be the first time moving to a new city 100% on my own. I’ve been living on my own for several years now. And I’ve moved a lot but it was always with family so this one will be different.
Can’t wait to see the city for myself, loving the vibe so far. Especially the bikeable part, I love biking over driving.
Totally feel ya on the novelty versus stability thing. I have both drives, and... they conflict in funny ways. 😲
Also, 12:28 - so with you on that! I was frustrated with how much shut down. There are/were a few options, but... yeah, not enough. (There was a place called the Night Kitchen for a while that was pretty cool, but it sadly didn't make it for long. 😕)
They way I describe things is that after 29 years (in my case) in $hometown, I felt like I needed to try living somewhere else. I figured I might love it, and never return, or hate it, and be back in a year, but either way, I needed to try. Fell in love with Seattle pretty much, and stayed 8+ years. But then got that feeling again... and tried living outside the U.S. Fell in love with Berlin, too... and frankly, would like to go back there, and/or explore other new places. Alas, the drive for stability is currently winning somewhat, and for some specific reasons. Though... I'll probably still move, ironically, in order to (hopefully) get that. We'll see how it goes!
Coming from the NE of the US, I like some parts of Seattle but have been put off by a few as well. The transit situation is decades behind as you mentioned (growing pains of a city that bloomed late), a general lack of streetlights, and to be honest I do find some people here to be more performative than actually willing to engage in conversation. But I love the emphasis on small businesses, the real care for nature preservation, and the neighborhoods. Still would rather have snow than a 10 month rainy season, but thats not a popular PNW opinion
hahahah maybe montana is more your weather then!
Thanks for sharing this experience with us. I'm moving to TN in a couple months from Everett, WA. I grew up near Dayton, Ohio. Washington has beautiful scenery. God made it. It has to be. Amen.
OMG I MADE IT IN THE INTRO also the gallery wall editing is SO CUTE 😭😭
Very much agreed on Seattle needing to stay open later haha and I can not waittttt for the link rail to be extended
ilyyyy
I am determined to make the big jump and move to Seattle from Europe next year. I'm so connected to that city/ area that I've been going back and forth quite a bit until I thought traveling there is no longer enough, I need to actually live there. Sooo excited!!
omfggggg where are you coming from in europe?
@@Katherout I'm from Italy but currently living in Spain. I've been living all over Europe for the past 18 years and figured I've been there done that...I'm obsessed with the West Coast (shoutout to the Bay Area 😍) so I figured it's now or never!! I HAVE to figure this out! Meanwhile I booked another trip back to Seattle in May, for good measure 😄
I'm from Santa Cruz, CA and have lived in... New Orleans, Massachusetts, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle, and Vashon Island (and often bopping between) and I've been in Seattle for the most part since 2012 (left twice for jobs in LA) and late night happy hour used to be a thing everywhere! Something I'd never seen elsewhere. The early closure times (9pm) is definitely a Covid Pandemic shift.
that makes a lot of sense!! rip the good ole days that i never experienced
im about to move from New Orleans to SF. It's going to be so crazy different
I've been in socal for a year. The novelty has worn off...but I like my new friends so I'm not ready to leave. Just hope I can do more traveling to keep myself engaged in life
As someone who loved Seattle, I would 10/10 recommend doing a summer in Juneau working in tourism. Food for thought 💭
UMMMMM YEAH….. thinking thoughts
@@Katherout I lived in Seattle for 3 years and it was my fav place and I just recently visited my wonderful friends in their Juneau hometown and fell in LOVE. The people, the place,,,,,, it’s incredible. My life isn’t flexible enough to swing it rn but I wanna see someone live out my dream 🥹
Just moved to Portland, OR thanks for sharing your story
very useful video, thank u
I moved to Tucson, AZ to go to college. While it’s definitely not the most exciting city in the world, I’m so happy I just went for it. I moved there having never been to Tucson or Arizona before. It was an experience that made me grow a lot! 😊
spent a lot my christmases in the tucson area!! cacti are very special to me
I'm coming up on one year in Chicago. I'm born and raised in and around Philadelphia, went to college in upstate NY. I had a brief and semitraumatic post-graduation move to Oakland and moved back to Philly, where I spent 2019-2021. Last year I started feeling so stagnant it hurt. Same people, same activities, same places I've seen my whole life. The transplants around me were having a great time and I was bored and depressed (also b/c the issues that affect the city impact me in ways they do not impact them, given that they don't have family there). So, I took a month and a half traveling in Central America to reset, moved to Chicago, and love my life here. I can truly say I love my life for the first time in years. There have been days, weeks even of sadness and loneliness, but I have never wanted to go back. Truthfully, I don't think I'll live here forever, but I think I will be here for 2-3 more years.
This was motivating for me to hear because I am in the same position. The sameness of my environment is destroying me... I hope to have the same experience as you when I finally take the risk of moving.
I'm moved from France to London, England 4 years ago and it definitely feels like home to me! France is a place I visit to see family but that's it, it's not home anymore, I think especially as my mom doesn't live in the house I grew up and lived in for 18 years! I nearly moved out of London at some low point of my life but I just could not live my fav place in the end 🥰
my parents are moving out of the house i grew up in, too! nervous to see how that changes my feelings towards going home
It's funny that you mentioned Big Sky because I just moved to Seattle from there! (well kinda... I tried going back to New York where I went to college but found that I was just sinking back into my routines from college since I left during the pandemic.) I loved living in a mountain town but I internally struggled with staying there without having a local job due to the limited housing options that local workers face. (Most of the local Big Sky jobs were in hospitality and came with dorm-style housing.) Lots of people during the pandemic came to these mountain towns and bought up the real estate to rent out as vacation homes. It was nearly impossible to not have your job also be your landlord... I think you see where I'm going with this. Long-term, life there wasn't sustainable because of the the cultural economics. The job experience also taught me a lot about what role labor plays in my life. If I had never moved there, I would have never known silence and what true alone time meant.
really enlightening to hear about your experience in big sky!! i can see what you mean w a lot of this
Was that clip Greenlake? My heart is so homesick. Give my heart home a hug
it was!!! one of my fave places
yes Shanghai is my hometown!
Great Vlog - very insightful, informative, and interesting in general. A question - what type of F/T employment or career do you see yourself going back into - and - when?
very TBD! a variety of options on the table.
I'm 23 and I live in Minnesota. Ever since I was around 14 I've always dreamed of living in the city somewhere along the West Coast, and so I've settled on Seattle. Being from a small town of 4,000, I've been desperate for a change in scenery. I have a lust for being in an environment surrounded with people and energy because I tend to feel the most alive in cities because it's new to me. But at the same time, I will be completely alone with no support system. The farthest I've lived from my parents is 2 hours and that was for college. I was still in Minnesota but I never felt at home and was constantly homesick. At one point I got so lonely that I started having panic attacks every night. Eventually, I moved back home and I have been here for 1.5 years... I don't think I've ever actually tried to create a life for myself because I haven't felt like I'm where I want to be. I haven't had the motivation, it hasn't felt worth it. But after being back home, the feeling of urgency I have to finally start my own life and be independent is stronger than the fear I have of loneliness. I'm hoping moving to my dream environment will motivate me to try to create something for myself, and even if after a year I decide the move wasn't for me, I at least owe it to myself to try. I've been still for too long, I need to take the risk.
I just started this video so I’ll probably post another comment after I finish it lol but, I’ve been living in San Francisco for 12 years and I have an urge to move to a brand new city within the next few years! I’ve never lived anywhere but California. I’ve been thinking New York but who knows, maybe somewhere else
I did the same exact thing as you and moved to a new state at 25 after staying in a different state my whole life. I moved to Austin for that novelty but sometimes I feel it was mistake, even though it's only been 5 months. Things like lack of walk-ability and lack of diversity are really making it hard for me to want to stay here long term(even though it's a great city). I just feel like maybe I should move again but don't want to be bouncing from place to place and feel a little embarrassment from moving again after a short amount of time. Do you have any advice on how I should handle this?
i don't think it's embarrassing at all! i told myself if i hated seattle after my lease was up i could always move back. trust your gut!
Don't feel embarrassed. This happened to me when I moved to a town in Indiana. Was not liking it at all and made the move back. Since then I've lived in two other cities and places that I've loved a whole lot more. Sometimes you just aren't vibing with a place and that's totally okay!
I think cultural diversity and walkable spaces are very important aspects of a city. I live in Dallas and although the DFW area is pretty culturally diverse, the car-dependency is the #1 reason why I can't wait to move out for good lmao.
I moved from San Diego to the Bay Area and while I am gagged by how gorgeous this place is, I can't help but to miss home. It's only been about 4 weeks so we shall see how I fare!
so much to explore in the bay area!!! wishing u the best
@@Katherout thank you! I think I might be in love with Pacifica. I live in the east bay and that drive to destination experience immaculate.
Yeah, it is very hard to leave somewhere for somewhere strange
The “Jesus is an Assman” stickers get me every time
aww I've reached my year and a half-ish anniversary of moving to Seattle after graduating and that lil montage at the beginning got me in my feels (even though they're your memories lol she's an empath I guess
why does pike place even allow cars make it make SENSEEEE
I need a change of scenery. There’s nothing in Alaska. Anchorage has poor public transportation, Juneau is hella isolated, and Fairbanks is too cold and in the winter and the inconsistent daylight affects my circadian rhythms. Of the cities that I have been to , Seattle, Valencia , Amsterdam and Oakland are my favorite cities. I want to see more International cities like Madrid, Bilbao, La Coruña, Porto , Vigo, Lisboa and Rotterdam. I’m a total urbanite.
I think there is actually a farmers market in almost every sf neighborhood, if not the neighborhood next door.
there are def a good number but wish there were one in nob hill when i lived there!
I have my bff moved away 3 years ago. She started university and I just finished mine and after a year I wanna move from my home town also. I don't know which city but I wanna some artist city I have couple in minds also I need to figure out money for payments etc. But hope I will figure it out next year cause next year I will need to make move and I am so scared to be honest. 😅😅
I might become a Catholic missionary after graduating from college next May, and all the organizations I am applying to will require me to move. As someone who has lived in the same state their entire life (CT), it is crazy to think that a year from now, I might not even be living in New England anymore. However, I desire to meet new people and experience life in a different environment.
So expensive to live in any of those places. I want to live in Seattle, was born there but haven’t been back in years but it’s very very expensive. So is SF which I grew up in the Bay Area but am likely priced out of it now. It’s a struggle to get there for the working poor.
2nd comment! ❣️(Sorry couldn’t resist)
What can we do when the novelty wears off? Lived in southern and northern Cali. Looking for a place with kind people who receive and respond to kind gestures
When places close at 9 pm, minimum wage workers can go home and have a good night's sleep so they can study or work on their side hustle to get a living wage.
Did you ever work minimum wage in crappy jobs or crappy hours? Often the company has you finish a minimum wage shift at 11 pm then expect you back for the 7 am shift which is legal because it is 8 hours apart. If any service you use is prepared by a minimum wage worker living in his car, you should consider renting an apartment with a city view and have your people over and cook for them and make their drinks. My tone comes out as abrupt, but it is not about you, it is about minimum wage workers having to serve living wage workers as they live in their cars. Most minimum wage workers will not get ahead.
Could you talk about the artist's way bookclub?? I've been wanting to do that with a group so badly -- would you consider doing it again with patreon???
yes!!!! i wanna do it in the new year :)
@@Katherout ahh please please please!!!! I'm so in!
:-0 what was the music festival??
day in day out! will be featured in my next oversharing in seattle :)))
I REALLY NEED YA TO POST MORE VIDEOS SORRY FOR ALL CAPS :( :( OR CAN U MAKE A DISCORD GROUP CHAT’n
i have a discord linked to my patreon but considering opening it up to everybody!!
I'm so so happy living car free and will never move anywhere taht I need a car
Is it weird that I would not have even recognized you in the video clip from when you first visited Seattle? I've noticed that when I went back to look at some of your old video. You physically look completely different to me and I can't put my finger on exactly why.
no honestly i feel the same way she’s a different girl! i do think it’s mainly the hair
referring to Seattle as a medium sized city is absolutely hilarious
It resonates with you; you don’t resonate with it
Would you mind if I wrote a song about your experience?
go for it!! all for creative outlets
Seattle fanbase meetup?!?
If the novelty of seattle wears off, pls move to dc so we can be friends irl instead of parasocially 🥲