The Struggles Of Being Bisexual Are Worse Than You Think
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- Опубліковано 3 сер 2019
- In today's video I'm taking about the struggles of being bisexual and how it is a bigger issue that is derived from many issues in society
I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions in the comments below
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"Are you straight or gay?" "Yeah."
Rivi D I’m always like “a bit of both”
That is so true that it hurts.
*EX-FUCKING-ACTLY*
@@LukeAlexander same
"its just a phase" from a idot
People can't understand that being bisexual itself is not easy. We are not cheaters, we are not easy, we might tend to like one gender more than the other. That's okay. Figuring out your bisexuality is also not easy. If everyone else is sceptical towards bi people, imagine what we can think about ourselves. Please eduacate yourselves about the spectrum of sexualities and gender identities. It is very important.
Κικη Π. Yes preach sis!
Stop using the word “we” many bisexual men are like that
as a bi girl when I had a crush on a man id ask myself "what if I'm straight and I've been faking it?" and if I had a crush on a woman I'd ask "what if I'm a lesbian and I've been faking it?" so the fact that society tend to put people in boxes and label them is real and asking us bisexuals to 'choose a side' is one of the worst things we could ever hear, because our patriarch misogynist and biphobic society wants to erase us
Love is spiritual, gender shouldn’t matter. Deep down, I bet everyone is bi
@@davidcarter8269 same
@@auroramazzoli2982 Its not a woman only thing. If you are a bi man that means you are "gay" and you are just in denial. And some woman are weirded out that a man may f*ed you and its not manly enough.
@@collan580 you're absolutely right
okay but does anyone else think that it’s harder for bi guys compared to bi girls or am I alone here?
100% . Like they expect guys in the lgbt+ community to be either flamboyant or in the "wow you look don't gay" category so anything else or in between is just wierd for them.
Definitely like bi girls definitely have problems but bi men have so many issues and it’s soo messed up
@kitten I'm a bi woman and my best friend is a bi man. We definitely get the same amount of shit, just different kinds of shit. People think we're cheaters and whores, and that they cant trust their SO's around us. I tend to get fetishized more, while my friend gets shit for being more of a feminine guy. But I definitely wouldn't say that bi dudes get it worse than bi girls. Bi girls are seen as "just experimenting" or "just doing it bc guys think it's hot" :/
Noo ur so right
They both have their problems. I feel like females don’t really like bi guys for some reason. Maybe they seem less masculine? Bi women aren’t seen as less feminine. However, bi women are also fetishized so 🤷♀️
As a bisexual girl, I always heard things from my parents like " you can only like boys or girls. Not both" or "usually bisexual people cheat" or stuff like that. And it annoys me so much. But at least I am not alone. 😅💜
Edit : and they says that I only think about sex which makes no sense but ok.
👐👐👐
Girl same. I didn't come out to my parents, but my friends be annoying.
Ikr like imagine a world where when you grow up you can literally like anyone without the need of identifying where you belong in the 'LGBTQ community' cause I do feel like if the world was actually like that as well as young people not having to decide who they are gonna like because tbh I feel like you can love everyone without having to say who you 'like' or 'prefer'.
That doesn't really make any sense but you get my point:)
In my case, when I came out to my parents they said ''You'll end up choosing one, bisexual people always end up choosing one gender''. Im glad they dont think bisexual ppl are more likely to cheat, but this shit is still biphobia
same, when i tell my mom i was bi she automatically said "YOU ARE GAY?!" and i was like "mmm bi mom, bi" and afterwards she start speaking about sex and how a woman cannot satisfied another woman and bs like that
Laura Lee better take notes from that intro
and i oop-
Ppl will literally be homophobic or biphobic and then be all uncomfortable when you call them out like “oh I didn’t mean to” “oh that was nothing”
We go through ‘Am I gay or straight?’ And that transitions into ‘Am I pan or bi’ it’s an always struggle. Shit ain’t leaving
This!!!
I know it too well sis...
******THIS*****
I know there is a difference but im still so confused if im bi or pan
@@hihowyadoin509 It's the same damn thing. Bi implies sexual attraction to both genders, "pansexual" is just woke tumblr shit. Unless you want to fuck frying pans, then I guess you can describe yourself as pansexual in therapy.
Luke: "I kinda wanna be with a girl right now"
Me: *looks up next flight to Australia*
lol
i stopped watching ‘tana turns 21’ for this it better be good
you bet it's good. luke makes amazing vids YOU SAW THAT CLIP IN THE START OF THE VID
chanel ghostin it is
His commentary or the actual show?!
21?! No way! I thought she was at least 25...
Luke I love you so much ! I am a girl that is struggling to find my sexuality because I am attracted to both men and women but have only been with men and I get it is scary to put yourself out there especially if you are latin all of our parents are too conservative and not to mention grandparents! But I love how you’ve helped me to get in tune with my sexuality! Love you 😘
Thank you for talking about these issues surrounding bisexuals. I really needed this. I am only 18 and know I'm bisexual. Literally I've dealt with biphobia in so many instances. Thank you for being the bisexual icon I needed.
Same.
You said that like most people don’t know what they like by 18 lol
Luke: "Now I feel depressed cause I'm single"
Also Luke: *playfully throws peace sign*
Me: OMFG THAT'S SUCH A MOOD💀
I’m a straight girl, and would be so down to date a bi guy as long as he is an amazing person that treats me right!💯💜
Agree 100%. PREACH!!
Same! I don't care as long as we get along well.
S A M E E E E E
Ugh I hate it when my pants aren’t long enough to roll up🙄
what does this mean haha
@@LukeAlexander sksk rolling up your trousers is like a bi thing to do, just like doing the peace sign w h e n w v e r you can
Anna Frech ok but like I cuff all my jeans haha
I feel hella attacked because I am only 4'6 and HAVE to roll up my trousers and the peace sign is a trademark thing 😂😂😂
@@annafrech7934 this is a bi thing I do both of these alllll the time wtf
I just finished watching a bisexual Tik Tok compilation and was gonna look for more bi content lmao so this works out
omg same
I'm a gay guy, and 100% agree with you. I don't understand why some people find it so hard to accept that bi people exist.
Also, it's so awesome how confident you are about your sexuality at such a young age. I was still closeted at 19 years old.
A late answer but I belive the reason why people have more trouble with accepting bi-people than gay people is because they dont fall into a "clear box". If someone is straight like me, then it is easy to connect them to me. aka put them in the "like me" while gay people just go into the "not like me" box (reversed for gay people but you get my point). But Bi-people are neither and both. This is confusing. It also comes with a "make up your mind" mentality.
I dont want to sound bigoted here but i belive that people tend to think in these boxes and what doesnt fit in those gets pushed away.
@@frankwest5388 why people want to put us in boxes?
bisexual gang where you at👇
we love you Alexander x
....especially me😘
here
WE OUTCHERE
Here
Here
here
“I like guys, but I kinda wanna be with a woman” Me, always.
the “and i work at a grocery store” part of the intro was just beautiful
It doesn't matter what I was doing, I HAD do click the video immediately
It's funny, I actually see more bi men ending up with women because of the societal homophobia. Even if it's harder to find an accepting gf, I think it's easier than being perceived as a gay man in society.
More bi men end up with women because there are statistically more accepting straight/bi women than accepting gay/bi men, and men can make biological children with women which is a plus. Heteronormativity is third on the list, and behind by quite a margin
@@Amaling Depends on where you live. Where i live you cant kiss or hold hands as man-man couple. So yes its easier for me to be with a woman because i can live a normal life, on the other hand if i am in a relationship with a guy thats a whole different world. For me "proving" that im bi wasnt that hard because of my previous relationships, but i know that other bi people have a hard time especially if they are young and its damageing as well.
Where the fuck do you see this? Lmao
As a BI girl.....
I👏🏿COMPLETELY👏🏿UNDERSTAND👏🏿
This video covered so many important points and issues in our society surrounding biphobia, homophobia, sexism and toxic masculinity. Thanks for the amazing video
“I like guys, but I’m also kinda sick of them!!” Honestly a mood though!! I thought it was just me tbh!! Lol 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 😂😂
"ReliGiOn 🤪🤙 iS a Social ✌😙CoNsTruCt✋mAde 🤘 by men 👊😮"
Agree, I'm a Christian totally see the bullshit with all religions including mine sadly.
Sis yaaaaa
That is downright sexist
@@sau1_g00dman how?
Love this video and the message. I'm an asexual girl and acephobia definitely exists, and it's definitely problematic that there is so much hate towards people for who they do or don't have sex with. I'm sorry that you've experienced some biphobic behaviour but I'm super proud of you for calling it out, we need more awesome people to drop some truth like this. Stay fabulous!
Honestly acephobia is, in my opinion, the dumbest thing ever, like why would someone hate on another person for not being sexualy attracted to anyone?
acephobia isn't real and asexual people aren't oppressed
@@bri-kn8rf I'm sorry can you cite your sources, I wanna know just where in the fresh hell you got that from
@Rebekah L from my own personal experience of being called disgusting and unnatural. It may not seem like it's a real problem, but it is. And it hurts. Badly. Especially coming from people who swore they'd never leave you alone, ever.
@@idlesuperstition that's definitely acephobia and not oppression.
GO AWF!!!!! as a bi woman, i appreciate you speaking out about the issues we face on a day to day basis.
I came out to my mom as bi three days ago, and she said that she went through the same thing when she was my age and that I’d get over it in a month
Katelyn Mueller that sucks I’m sorry
this is really annoying, i’m bisexual, everyone knows this, i’m very open about it yet my friends insist on calling me gay/ a lesbian. (insisting that i haven’t come out as a lesbian yet) i’ve explained that i’ve had multiple guys i’ve liked and literally told them about guys that i’ve slept with yet they still call me gay. yes at many times i may lean toward girls more than guys but that’s how bisexuality fucking works, it’s rarely 50/50. i know that they have no malice behind it but it’s getting really annoying
It can be anoying, they shouldnt tell you what you love or who you are. Its really not a 50/50 cut. Sometimes i just get anoyed of "problems" with woman and just prefer guys and sometimes the opposite happens and then i will prefer woman.
i'd like to personally dedicate this video to:
1. the lesbian who called me "wishy-washy" in 9th grade for being a bi girl
2. my toxic ex-friend who would constantly make jokes at my expense and be fake sexual with me with the sentiment that i "probably liked it because i'm bisexual"
3. my ex who stayed worried about me leaving him for a girl
and,
4. the multiple women in my life who have a problem dating bi guys because they find them less masculine
i stopped reading a fanfic for this
Now that's dedication. 👌
As a fellow bisexual, thank you.
Also I'm bi💖💜💙
Me too:)
Yea you and every other teenage girl lol.
Sacred Supreme you’re the type of person he’s talking about in this video
@@mori5271 yeah sure
@L lmao all the teenage girls getting triggered
I think there's too much emphasis on 'labels' people like what they like in this day and age why can't people live and let live 🤷♀️🤷♂️🤷♀️🤷♂️
I appreciate your openness to talk about such a topic. You genuinely bring up some points that I didn't think about before but need to be covered more. Amazing video as usual Luke. Keep up with the amazing work.
I'm a straight woman & very in love with my bisexual boyfriend. One thing I probably love most about him is the fact, that he doesn't take his masculinity too serious. I feel like he's more free to just be himself and enjoy life..
I remember when I came out to my parents. My parents thought I was coming out to be fitting in with people at school. I was like no that's not the case at all.
Just want to thank you for the video. I've recently got into a relationship with a bisexual guy. As a straight girl who's never met a bisexual person before, I did get scared with all the "he'll leave me for a guy" stuff going in my head. But we talked and he said pretty much all the things you did, but hearing it from someone who is not involved made me feel a bit better and kinda made me laugh at my fears. And I'm glad I went for the relationship after all, I'm very happy with my partner.
both my dude best friends are bi and my other best friend is asexual and i love them dearly.
i'm bi and i'm picky as hell (and i have rlly bad trust issues which doesn't help). in the past three years i have crushed on three people (two of which were out of my league lol)
yay.
When I came out as bi this girl I thought was my friend started bullying me because I should've only liked one gender. She also told me to prove it.
that intro gave me whiplash
3:28 that was so cute haha _I'm bisexual. Namaste._
"And honey, my response to that is.. porn."
You crack me up Luke 😂😂
You are on point most of the time but as a bi girl I’d like to point out that, in my experience, although it is initially a turn on for guys eventually it develops into jealousy. Like you were saying with straight girls, they become worried that potentially anyone could be a threat.
Where I live, being bisexual is some sort of trend. Most of the girls say that they're bi when they're really not (I say They're not because I've been with a couple of "bisexual" girls who literally asked me to be their girlfriend, then after a while they stop paying attention to me and get a boyfriend or male crush while we're together)
I used to identify as bisexual but now, I label myself as a lesbian but I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm just afraid of being bi because I feel like if I say I'm bi then I'm just trying to fit into the trend. My friends often say that I claim to be lesbian but my actions don't match up with my words and I usually get defensive. It can be really frustrating for me sometimes.
Thank you for speaking about this, I feel like nobody talks about these issues that so many bisexual people go through.
I love my best friend and she's been one of the only people from my irl life to accept me as bisexual but when I told her I wanted a girlfriend she said "Yeah, you should experiment." ...
With time this triggers me less because I know as a fact I would be extremely happy dating and yes having sex with a girl, and straight people never get questioned about if they REALLY ACTUALLY like an opposite gender crush before dating them.
NotTodayTay I have a friend who is bisexual but she is more on the straight side but I love her for who she is
A bisexual icon!!! thanks, this helped me confirm what I was already feeling about my being bisexual
My brother and I are both bi and while I’ve definitely had my issues in the dating world, namely women thinking I’m just “experimenting” and men just thinking I’m in the closet or assuming I’m slutty. However, my brother has it so much worse. Lots of girls will call him gay, and he’ll try to open up to some guy friends and they assume he’s coming on to them. It blows my mind that even in 2019 people can be so obtuse about sexuality.
Thank you for this video Luke. I stan.
I normally don’t do this but I need you to know that you hearting my comment made my week. I think you’re amazing and can’t wait to watch your channel hit a million subs.
"You're not bi! You're engaged to a man."
Um, bi means both. I can be engaged to whoever tf I want. And I still think girls are cute, so. 🤷♀️
yep
I feel being anything other than straight is a problem. Even if your someone who doesn't think to much of it others make it a big thing. It's sad that people are so afraid to show what what they like and who they like because their family may not except them.
Who fell deeper in love with Luke after this???
Maybe that sound creepy...
But better than saying who hates him
The Intro Was Everything😂😂
I know that gender is a completely different topic but being nonbinary I can relate to the struggle of the society telling you can only be "this or the other™️" or " you're just confused™️", and discrimination from even our own community
Luke this sermon was so empowering and totally on point, Bi-Erasure is rooted in this system!
from a fellow bisexual, THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO!!!!
with all of the El Paso and Dayton issues, i needed a Luke Alexander video.
I was the most confused person ever finding out my sexuality. I was really upset whenever I'd switch from girls to boys. It took a year for someone to tell me that I wasn't being some kind of weird player, which I thought I was, but I was actually bi. I didnt know it was a thing because no one told me.
Omg literally the other day we were talking with a friend of mine about “not being Gay enough” for being bi and oh god it’s such a drag it pisses me off soooo much thanks for this video love u
I just want to gush over how amazing my mom is.Ever since she found out i'm bi when we talk about my future instead of saying husband she says partner and i didn't notice it at first since the transition was so subtle but when i finally realized i was really touched.
Me: watching Georgia Bridger’s videos about being bisexual
*Goes to subscription box...*
Also me: OH MY GOD LUKE READ MY MIND
Frida Bradbrook 💖💜💙
Thank you. You really try to put us bi people on the map as individuals. Everything you said is so on point. I hope people watching this video re-consider their views towards bisexual people.
PS. Please speak more slowly, I had to add subtitles😂😂💖
this is very interesting, even my bisexual female friend said that when a guy is "bisexual" he's really just gay and her lesbian girlfriend agreed
@Anna Si - it's True Bitch
This hits home. Recently came out as bi and no one in my family accepts it. They tolerate it which I’m thankful for because I know it could be a lot worse. But it really hurts when you overhear your parents saying that it’s just a phase and I’m just jumping on the trend. Also it frickin sucks cause I can’t have sleepovers with anyone anymore😂
we need more representation for bisexual men PERIODT.
I love your profile pic.
people***** :)
I feel you dude, I’m in a serious relationship and unfortunately his dad has underlying worries of me cheating or liking a girl more even though I’m literally in a happy relationship. He’s getting better and means no harm but it hurts ya know? Like if I’m genuinely in love why on earth would I cheat?
People just assume we will bc we like guys and girls but I’ve never met a bi girl or guy who has cheated...
THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS VIDEO I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE ONLINE IS REPRESENTING US BIS
YAAAS, preach. This really addresses so many issues and it truly is enlightening and educating. Love this!💜
Thank you for making these videos!
One Person in my class: "BiSeXuAl pEoPle aRe jUsT cOnFuSeD."
Honey, no.
totally agree
THANK YOU for raising this subject. Its soo important and seems like so few actually think about how society works and why we act like we do. Kind of the first step to be able to make a difference. Awesome video!
finding this emotional truth preaching on a quarantine youtube quicksand is awesome. amen
This video is the best thing on UA-cam! You said my words 👍🏻
Omg yes this video is so good, I can't believe I'm just seeing this now. It can be really hard to be a bisexual and also hard to be a Catholic bisexual which is what I am. 😩 It's so hard to find acceptance from gays and straights. Also in response to 12:14 in Catholicism, fun fact, God doesn't have a sex or gender, we just call "him" by male pronouns because he's seen as a father figure in our religion.
at the end it got really deep, i'm literally crying, thanks luke
You spoke so much truth in this video.👏🏼 People are always trying to find something to judge you about. Can you imagine if everyone just minded their own business and let people be who/whatever they wanted to be? Wow, what a concept.
No one :
Me a bisexual : NODDING MY HEAD VIGOROUSLY BECAUSE SOMEONE FINALLY SOMEONE SPEAKS OUT ABOUT IT.
first Jessie Paege makes a bi video, now this one. My bi self is living 💜
I've been waiting for a video like this! Preach honey!
Thank you for bringing light to some points of these issues I had not considered.
another struggle, except this is more a personal struggle yet it's still pushed by media, that i've thought of is that some bisexuals are afraid to be in a heterosexual relationship or do anything the someone of the opposite gender in case they lose their 'gayness.' in the lgbt community, it you haven't noticed there's a lot of heterophobia at times and so bisexuals can feel pressured to just be gay and not fully embrace bisexuality, even though it's a valid sexuality.
I haven't watched the video hit I just want to say
My sister is bisexual and when she started highschool (a girl's highschool) she made sure to tell her friends she was bi not that it's a big deal to her but because it may be a big deal for them. Anyway she found out a few new friends of hers were pan and gay. The reception was as far as I know positive so I mean I guess it just depends on the people you see on a daily basis and their perspective on sexuality
You are so chaotic, energetic and funny that it's entertaining to watch
thank you so much for this video. as a fellow bisexual and a woman of color, the struggles that i face are not often portrayed or even acknowledged often, and to see someone like you, an influential person and especially a bisexual man, speak about these kinda of things, is truly impactful. i related to it so much, especially when you talked about the acceptance of gay people vs. bisexual people and biphobia. thank you so much for making a video like this, it honestly made me emotional (but in a good way!)
I get this as a bi girl and it’s definitely harder as a bi guy. Love you for bringing this to awareness.
Instead of "is" it should be "are"
I think "are" is correct cause "struggles" is plural
You hit the nail on the head. Thank you for speaking up, it makes me feel so much less alone. We stan a bisexual king
Can we talk about the beginning intro, "I'm not the problem, you are" I SCREAMED!!! I love how straight up Luke is when it comes to this shit. I swear you inspire me a lot to continue youtube.
No one:
Luke : HONEY
btw you’re my fave youtuber 💖
I started calling myself queer instead of bi out of frustration because of this
I love how unapologetic you are about your opinions. I completely agree with everything you said in this video and I love having a UA-camr who actually cares about and is informed about important issues ❤️❤️
Despite the fact that I'm only like 4 years older than you, I've always felt this proud motherly feeling watching your continuing growth. You are amazing, and you set a great example (I promise I'm not an old lady). You do you, and keep on keepin' on.
We get shit from both sides and for what?
I was called picky because I want a normal person for a partner and I just... I'm an adult with a job looking for another adult with a job with a good fashion sense and decent time management skills why is that so hard to find ??? I do have crushes on people but I lieterally can't get turned on in any way unless I clearly see the other person is into it like I can't imagine doing it just because I personally want to.
I’ve heard, correct me if I’m wrong, that one of the reasons why some gay people are so unaccepting of bi people is because they feel like it threatens what they’re fighting for, for example the idea that being gay is a choice is legitimised by the concept of being bi. (Not saying it’s okay to be biphobic though)
I felt this video in the depths of my soul. 17:07 GO OFF! Ok Luke yezzza 🙌🙌🙌 Thank you so much for speaking out to the public when so many of us can't... love you!
🦋🌟🌸
ALL THIS TEA AND FACTS YOU SPILLED YES!!!! here for it 💙💜💗
Im dating a bi guy and im a bi girl and we are just accepting of eaxhother in every way. Especially in the bedroom if we need something "extra" we talk a out it and we feel so free and it makes life a lot easier to be open and accepting. We are in love and we are so so lucky to have found eaxh other. Thank u so much for this video babe it waas wicked informational love your channel💜💙💛💜💙💛💜💙💛
Emily Brawn love this❤️
@@LukeAlexander i shared your video on Facebook (im from boston Massachusetts) and i received so many thank yous from a lot of my friends. You helped a lot more people than you know!Including my boyfriend.(he loved it too) So thank you so much again you explained what i have been trying to forever. And it's wicked cute cus i call him "my person".. 💙💜💛 have awesome day love.
I am a straight white woman and I honestly would not think any different of my boyfriend if he told me he was bi. I wish most people thought the same way.
I really appreciate this video. I’m not bisexual myself, but these issues are really toxic to everyone and is honestly just setting us back in general. I haven’t seen your coming out video, but I admire you for making it and talking about your struggles. Coming out was hard for me because most people don’t even believe asexuals exist. But I do understand and identify with a lot of the struggles bisexual men and women have. Particularly people thinking you’re lying about your sexuality or that it’s a cover to cheat. Thanks for speaking out! You were heard by at least one! (Probs more than that because these comments are hella supportive! Keep up the awesome work!)
Luke needs more subscribers ! So young and yet so wise.