From Heartbreak to Heartache: Understanding BPD and Broken Heart Syndrome
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- Опубліковано 17 сер 2018
- Is it possible to die from a broken heart? There is medical evidence that it is and in this video I talk about my belief that individuals with BPD are at a higher risk.
Broken heart syndrome is a recognized medical condition also known as stress-induced cardiomyopathy. The symptoms of broken heart syndrome are similar to those of a heart attack, but they are not caused by blocked arteries. Instead, the condition is believed to be caused by a surge of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, which narrows the arteries and temporarily limits blood flow to the heart. This can also lead to an irregular heartbeat and, in rare cases, sudden death.
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award-winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 20 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles and books in these areas and is the author of:
The BPD Card Deck: 50 Ways to Balance Emotions and Live Well with Borderline Personality Disorder. Available at: www.shorturl.at/jBHJV
Complex Borderline Personality Disorder: How Coexisting Conditions Affect Your BPD and How You Can Gain Emotional Balance. Available at:
rb.gy/hdyqyy
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: tinyurl.com/2anv8dww
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
UA-cam: / @drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Dr. Fox’s Blog: www.psychologytoday.com/us/bl...
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Here are a list of tests that can help your doctor possibly identify it: www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-c...
Citations:
Biteher, M., Duran, N.E., Civen, H. A., Gunduz, S., Gunduz, T., Kaya, H., & Ozkan, M. (2009). Broken heart syndrome in a 17-year-old. European Journal of Pediatrics, 168, 1273-1275.
Griffin, S. & Logue, B. (2009). Takotsubo cardiomyopathy: A nurses’s guide. Critical Care, 29, 32-42.
Therkleson, T., & Stronach, S. (2015). Broken heart syndrome. Journal of Holistic Nursing, 33, 345-350.
Wittstein, I.S. et al. (2005). Neurohumoral Features of Myocardial Stunning Due to Sudden Emotional Stress. The New England Journal of Medicine, 352 (6), 539-548.
This explains a lot about why every breakup feels like I'm dying. I've actually stopped dating because every time is worse than the last, and I'm genuinely afraid that eventually it'll be too much.
My name is nancy I totally understand what you are going threw your just so tired and emotionally and physically drain and feel afraid to be abandoned again
its disgusting how people just leave honestly
I’m in the same boat I can’t trust anymore I can’t love because I’m scared anxiety runs my life along with depression and I hate it
@@xOsleepwalkerOx Exactly. I dont know how they can cry for you. Admire everything about you. Tell you your there everything and one day act like what y'all had meant nothing because of a few disagreements. No relationship is perfect. There's gonna be disputes and your not always gonna get it your way. Its called compromising.
Im going through the worst breakup of my life right now. I can usually get over them. But my favorite person/ex is also someone I considered the One, that forever fav person to me. So I cant handle it. Any suggestions?
It's so wonderful to hear from a therapist and PERSON who doesn't demonise BPD patients or feed the stigma. It is so encouraging for myself and so many others. It gives me hope.
Eleanor Hartshorn I’m not a therapist. I’m dating a girl with BPD. It’s not easy, but in no way do I or will I ever say bad about her or blame her for what the affliction makes her think.
Eleanor Hartshorn its great
@@FlatWorld_Jomhuri_Regime Damn
Camqtee Luv I deleted my quote, it was a little harsh
Right?! I was just thinking that. Like its so nice to hear someone that understands BPD.
The pain of loosing the my “first” love never totally went away. I still think of what could have been nearly every day some 20 years later.
Mine did too until I met him 25 years later. Then I thought, "what on earth did I ever see in you?! Look how you've turned out!" Healed that wound instantly.
Same
J PIerson Same, until 20 years later we got back together and got married. He left me so many times, right after our honeymoon he went cold. So many bad things happened, I won’t go into it, but i wish I’d never got back with him, I literally have changed into another person since he came back. He’s done so much damage to me and every bit of progress I was making, he threw me back to crying, wanting to die, not caring about anything, shutting down, promiscuous behavior, pills. You are lucky to have your first love as a memory of love because mine is a symbol of hate for me now.
@Tanngnost67 how are you coping now? I wish I had watched this earlier,
I've had similar experiences to you guys in this thread. Also my first love messed me up real bad.
I'm going through rejection and never want to care for anyone ever again. I can't bear the pain
I'm sorry. God always loves you. He won't ever abandon you. +
I understand. I'm married but my bpd keeps making us fight and I don't know how long this will last.
@@wms72 I am a Christian, but He feels just as far away as everyone else I love. Please pray for me and all of us.
Aye ur not alone.
Verity /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ Ye are God
I have cardiomyopathy and I aged big time after my “favorite person” left me. I had physical pain from being so distraught. I’m surprised I didn’t die
Me too I now understand what it was. Thank God I'm alive and you are alive too.🤷🏾♀️
Oh shit
I m tired of being surprised i didn't die
I want to just die already
@@TheMisslili8 Broken heart is terrible. I'm sorry you're going through that. I hate it too.
My Dad died 2 months after my mom died of a stroke. They had been together 55 years. He just couldn't face the world without her. He told me he prayed every night to die, he died of heart failure. It was so sad. I had lost my partner of 21 years only 4 years earlier (to cancer) and only survived because i had a new business to keep me active, two years of therapy, and time to adjust to his possible passing. Thank you, great video
I STILL suffer from this 12 years later from time to time. Losing my FP caused me to spiral into recklessness. I drank and did so much drugs just to get by. I was so in love. Of course he abandoned me. He left, but then came back. Which honestly messed me up even more. Please don't even ghost someone. And if you do don't come back and haunt their lives.
💗
I tend to keep my distance from those I love the most. My son thinks I ignore him but I’m trying to protect him from my meltdowns.
Honesty is always best. Maybe explain it to him in a sit down conversation about things when you feel he can understand :)
I did that. I now regret it. Give him your attention in a postive way somehow. .
Debbie Killewald thank you 🙏
Rebecca H I’m so glad I’m not alone in this. This is exactly what I do and my partner does not understand at all x
@@thefxmua4269 you're welcome. I get it completely. I had trauma growing up.
BPD is extremely painful. Thank you for these wonderful videos. It’s a blessing that someone truly understands. ♥️♥️♥️
Ilene Usher even physically painful at times
@@s1p0stherealsipos59 emotional pain IS a physical pain.
❤️
Breakups have gotten harder and harder the older I get. I’m terrified what will happen when my mom passes. I used to pray every night as a kid to not let her die. I’ve grown but those feelings still do remain some.. thank you for the videos
The same Here 😢
Cant believe this was written 3 years ago. Going through another heartbreak right now and it is unbeleivably painful. Same feelings all over . so hard@@user-de9qe3eh7z
This is really informative, thank you.
I have BPD and honestly felt like I was going to die when my partner abandoned me, I had a lot of the symptoms of heart attack and genuinely thought I was going to die. In fact I wanted to die, this went on for months and whenever I think about him now my heart physically hurts even though it’s nearly been a year.
Nellie Mala I'm so sorry for you
Helena cif thankyou for your kindness 💕
Nellie Mala, you seem wonderful, messy or not, you are beautiful inside and out, this world is chaotic and we will get through this disorder, we'll come out better because of it.
Helena cif you seem like such a beautiful and understanding person 💗 I believe your right, we will get better with the right help and hopefully we will create a life with less suffering and more love and joy. Thank you for the love, sending you much love too xXx
Nellie Mala, thank you so much
Finally!! I suffered with this 10 years ago after a awful rejection from a man I loved obsessively. A doctor dismissed me when I said my heart was playing up because I was only 21... Needless to say I survived but after a ECG I was told to manage my stress hormones. Instead I engaged in self harm via starvation until I had severe anemia... I was near death. But God pulled me through...
But I believe I am a undiagnosed BPD.
~Hugs~
Yeah I barely eat either and my feelings are numb.
I praise God for pulling you through that. I know praying continually throughout the day has helped me tremendously! As well as some help from Dr Fox.
My Fiance committed suicide a decade ago and I literally felt like I was going to die, it was the most physically painful event ever and I often thought that if I wasn't a healthy 20 year old I would have died of a broken heart 😩
I’ve literally landed myself in a mental hospital after 2 of my major breakups because I couldn’t handle it the intense overwhelming sadness and loss of hope
i understand this so much. the intensity is overwhelming. i feel this way after i see my daughter and then have to leave her. she lives thousands of miles away. good luck to you.
It's been 8 months and this has been the worst breakup of my life, I want to die everyday. Heartbreak does not get any easier.
Ask Jesus to heal you. God bless you and hold you close to His Sacred Heart. +
And how are you now?
I constantly feel broken hearted. I always have. Lost, alone and scared. It's a horrible feeling. It gets worse in a relationship. I detach myself from everyone to protect myself. Working so hard to get better.
I know the feeling 💔
I completely agree. I've said this many, many times that a person can die from a broken heart.
I have no one, no family, no friends, no community, i dont even have a doctor, i have absolutely nothing or no one for support or help of any kind.
Thank you so much Dr. Fox I truly appreciate you, your work and the amount of compassion you have for Borderlines. It's very comforting. Love, Light & many Blessings to you & your work...
Same here. Be strong please!
Contact mental health services in your community for individual counselling.
You have me.. 🙋♀️
Hello dear Amethyst💜❤
Are you spiritual, too? If so you aware of all your guides, if we all have them, already? Ask for Archangel Michael as your "starter pack", if you see orbs, he is typically seen in the indigo spectrum, at first? Red photons, then? We have "Marduke" for that and red is said to be a "protective" ray? Can appear to people as what could be a "sleep paralasys "demon", but is also typically in animalian form? Also said to be the "Annunaki's" "child" and according to Spirit Science and/or their research? Lifted our bed up though and we yoweled at "him"? Also grabbed our leg, like a bronze statue and very powerfully, when getting more anxiety? Can't tell if he fed off it, or told us to calm tf down? X;D Not sure what he does, as far as help, but we love him, if only for the animalian aspects? Ask for animals, too, if also a preference, for now, if not already? They are probably what mainstream science would "sub-atomic" and all sentient?
Maybe it depends on your spectrum, in conjuction, because in each dimensionality, the guides may appear in different forms maybe more elaborate than the last, if not also shapeshifters, when dealing with their "holograms" in the thirdeye/pineal gland? Feeling their hugs is the best thing, if you ask for it? Both? All? We like animals and anime, so we also ask for all the characters too, if they are not also taking on their forms, too? Anything goes?
A video on mariage and BPD would be very interesting. Thank you.
Especially relating to being married to someone who was diagnosed late in life.
I sabotaged my relationships.. and with my Favorite Person. Though he's Narcissistic... I really need him... I really screwed up everything.
Just got dumped by the man I loved for 17 years... And I really think my BPD will kill me. One way or another... My heart is so tired.
Idk how to deal with my bpd. We dont have good quality mental health care in my country and i seriously dont know how to cope anymore. Thank you for these videos. They certainly help when i feel so out of place.
Try trauma release exercises
Eisra A. Jesus heals the broken hearted. I speak from experience.
Kevin Hicks realize when your privilege is showing.
@@hiphiphoogray what's that supposed to mean?
@@hiphiphoogray that's an obtuse way to tell someone to go proselytize the vulnerable somewhere else :P
I would love for you to do a video on BPD and marriage. Thank you for posting.
Casey Vaughn me too:)
Same
Me 3
me too please
Would love a video on marriage and BPD
I suffered broken-heart syndrome after narcissistic abuse and discard that triggered some old wounds to reopen and caused my emotions to become dis-regulated and my system to be repeatedly flooded with stress chemicals. So not only was I figuratively heart-broken from being abandoned (at the worst possible time of course), but the intense cognitive dissonance and emotional flashbacks flooded my system and blew out my heart. I went to the ER for what I thought was a panic attack and a migraine. Which I was both having but when I told the doctor what had happened to me, he decided to listen to my heart and take a look at it. It healed, but since my life was still stressful and I was still confused, freaked out, and devastated, it took awhile.
Thank you for this video. It makes perfect sense. I don't have BPD, I have narcissistic abuse victim syndrome and (c)ptsd from a traumatic past/childhood, and a panic disorder. Because of the events that caused my heart to literally break last spring, I started researching and researching (how I found you btw) and decided that EMDR might help me. Well turns out there are DBT EMDR Specialists near me who treat BPD, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Issues, etc. I just started the EMDR part of the therapy three weeks ago. I have been in an Informed DBT Group Class and having individual therapy since early spring.
It was the perfect thing for me. I went for the EMDR but the DBT is extremely helpful for me in my situation. I never really felt my emotions physically unless they were intense ... until last spring when they all just came pouring out. I felt everything. It was horrible. I'm not a fan. And DBT is all about emotional regulation, along with stress tolerance and interpersonal communication (all great skills for someone coming out of or in toxic relationships/families). It and the EMDR are all about feeling emotions physically. I hate it, but I love it, and it is helping.
My informed DBT group is made up of people with BPD, (C)PTSD, Codependency, NAVS, and we all are survivors of abuse from somebody on the malignant end of the cluster B spectrum. I feel so lucky for having found this place.
Good thing I love homework.
And thank you for doing this topic.
I feel very validated right now.
I'm going to go back and watch it again so I can take notes.
CPTSD symptoms are similar to BPD as well.
Jessica hi I am 19 years old and I have almost same problems like you can you pm me like to give me some advance facebook loukas vasiliou with guitar in the background I am in narcissistic abuse rn I aint either felt my emotions physically unless they was intense and also I may have broken heart syndrome and they have me in a stress mode so heart pain is instense and panic attacks
Any help
Thank you for your story. It means more than you can imagine.
That is exactly what's happening with me, same experience, same past history, word for word what you have said, I'm in the exact same place you were in. Thank you for sharing your story. It makes me feel validated, and not so alone. I need to try these DBT and EMDR therapies, maybe im not too damaged to be a functioning person, and perhaps I have a chance at living a decent life after all. Thank you for giving me some hope 🙏🙏
My daughter who is 25 yrs old became estranged from me in Dec 2018. She PROMISED me that she would never abandon me. She lied. She will not talk to me or anyone in my family. She lives in town, yet I haven't run into her since 2018. She is getting married Apr 2022 and I am not invited. She has destroyed me. I cry all the time and my soul is crushed. She was my world. She has become so cruel :(
Ive been apart from my ex for a year now and it hasn't gotten better. Im still obsessed with him and the breakup. I have no value of life. We share 2 children so I cant just forget him. I dont know how ill ever get over it and be happy. It seems like ill always be stuck in this hole.
Took me 3 years. I'm bpd
Same. It's been a year for me too... Not remotely better...
Thank you for doing this video xxx I have BPD / depression / anxiety and I spent 3 months in hospital with pneumonia immediately after my partner of 14 years left .. I have never ever recovered I had symptoms of broken heart syndrome ... I have been alone for 7 years now and my life is completely isolated .. I only see my 2 children who live with me aged 14 and 17 but they aren’t here on weekends and I get overwhelmed with suicidal feelings when I’m alone .. I’m still devastated that my partner left and struggle to see and hear about he’s new family I feel like a ticking time bomb .. I’m so low ... my heart is still broken ... I feel broken and am so lonely ... even as I write this Iv palpitations... I just don’t want to be alone and unloved anymore ... death seems the only way out at times that seem too come more and more often. ... I don’t know how to cope when I’m this low
Karen, I am so sorry to hear you are feeling so low. A broken heart sure is tough. May I attempt to help you turn this on its side a little? Consider that you yourself, and what you brought to the relationship, was likely the best, and most part of the relationship you enjoyed. That's good because it means you have all that to bring to a new relationship, when you feel ready. For now, though, is it possible to plan for fun things to go do on your weekends? Things to look forward to; opportunities to meet new friends? Is it possible? My guess is, it is, once you feel up to pushing yourself to it.... I realize it may be extra difficult.... but can you try? Can you make a plan to try next weekend, even? If not, if you are really feeling that low, please seek professional help if you need to. These feelings can be beat, but there is nothing wrong with getting help if you need it. Here's hoping for a new, better day for you. Cyber Hugs.
It is my sincere hope that you reach out and seek help. Try to find a mental health provider who can help you through these things. Please remember, there are always more options than one. Here is the suicide hotline number of you need it, be well: suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
I know this was 2 yrs ago, so you might not answer but are you doing okay?
Call on God (Jesus )...He's the only one l know of that can Heal a Broken Heart...Been there...l know how bad it can be...l Od'ed about 7 times before I realized God wasn't letting me go nowhere...took some time but I'm just starting to come out of it...Drepression...anxiety...No sleep...ended up on drugs & alcohol just to escape and pass out to get some sleep...lt was awful...
My grandpas mom died during an asthma attack when he was young. His older brother missed his mom so much he died a month later. It actually lists on the death certificate that he died of a broken heart.
Besides that, I've had to stop dating (it's been 4 years) because the broken heart pain is unbearable.
Awesome video. The thought that we may be more susceptible to broken heart syndrome makes sense. I use A LOT of comedy to relieve stress. Laughing is my favorite medicine.
Thanks for adding a comment with a good coping skill included ! We need this ! 😘🤣😁😊😃😅😉
my great-grandparents were married 75 years and they won died of natural causes in the middle of the night and then that following morning the other one passed away of natural causes in their sleep and never did anyone tell them the other one had passed they just went on their own within hours of each other
God led me here. Thanks.🎶
God is a delusion.
LOL
I love doctor fox.
Me too😘
My heart hurts when i cry and it makes me cry more. But sometimes when i feel empty my heart still hurts then it kinda snaps me out of the empty state. I love the fact you don't do the whole stereotypical people with BPD thing and realize that people with BPD are people too
I have BPD (27 years old) and have never fallen in love with someone. In psych class it recently came up: people with commitment issues either avoid commitment or they cling on to that person for dear life. I'm the first option. The borderlines I've met are the latter.
I'm the latter. 🙁 Or at least I was. That love and hate feeling where you push someone away and then feel abandoned, so you start clinging
27, bpd, im also the latter :(
@@AllanTaipalus Same. I was almost 29 and let my guard down and fell in love to 4 months later being kicked to the curb like I was a worthless piece of shit.
it happened I was a rebound, I didn't even know what a rebound was.
I was in excruciating pain, I lost 10kg (from 52kg to 42kg), the heavy and electrical shock pain was so intense I thought I was just going to die, I hoped to die so the pain could stop.
I couldn't do anything but cry and was back on anti-depressants, muscles relaxers, anti-anxiety, everything. I got over the person but pain never left it moved from an acute state to a chronic state pain.
I became extremely scared of relationship and lashing out at everybody, finally I was stupid enough to fall in love again and it was miserable, it was fighting and pain and I was again abandoned left crushed, insane and suicidal.
After that first heart break i developed symptoms of an autoimmune disease, Myasthenia Gravis.
Consequences are too real. We don't experience emotional pain on the same level it can leave us severely sick.
I just wanted to thank you. Your videos help me feel empowered in my own Borderline treatment. Your videos and your approach give me hope that one day I'll be able to shed my BPD like an old skin and be a healthier person. Your videos are compassionate and accessible. And I hope you keep making them! Thank you. I also want to add that I really like that you humanize people with borderline and you keep the focus on them, where so much clinical material out there talks about how we just victimize people that don't have it. and you have no idea how much I appreciate that you go against that grain.
Thank you for your kind words and that is exactly why I do the videos. I'm glad they are helpful for you. Stay strong and be well.
I had a heart attack at 35 that the doctor told me was broken heart syndrome. It happened after my ex, who was at his stepbrother's funeral who had committed suicide, told me to quit spending money on self help. I started to hyperventilate and proceeded to experience heart attack symptoms, ending up at the ER. I can still remember at that moment what it felt like for him to tell me he would rather me end up dead like his step brother than help myself.
Please never speak to your ex again. He speaks death to life, hate to love.
My roommate told me that when something hurts so bad we feel like we’re legitimately dying or need to kill ourself, it’s our body trying to solace a problem. Our brain is constantly trying to find solutions to problems but when your brain gets smacked with intense heavy pain like a breakup, a death, a job loss, our brains only solution is for us to die. It has no coping skills to handle it so it makes us feel like we want or are going to die because it’s our brains only solution at the moment.
And it certainly may feel that way but it’s important to build insight into this feeling and reaction and have adaptive strategies that you can use to manage it more effectively. I wish you all the best.
Oh, when I read the title, I thought the topic discussed would be something about what l experienced and also heard from borderline friends - after a breakup, a broken heart, there is a long period of depression, almost catatonic state, hardly able to drag along, terrible self care, loss of goals, basically falling apart. This happened to me three times during my life. To avoid it reoccurring, l stayed in a terrible relationship (with a borderline), that wasted years of my life/our lives. I hate this trait soooo badly!! I have so many regrets for life being wasted. I wonder if you already have or will make a video about this. Is this behaviour characteristic of the general borderline population?
@Jett Unconditional love isn't something you should aim for. It isn't healthy. Everyone should have boundaries in order to protect themselves from abuse. What you are really looking for is a replacement parent (who are the only people in your life that should love you unconditionally). I'd suggest you get therapy and heal whatever trauma you have from childhood that caused that loss of boundaries. Even if you found someone that did love you unconditionally, you would end up not respecting them as a result. Real love is between two individual healthy humans that respect one another and are happy alone but want (rather than need) to be with someone else. You choose to be with them, but you aren't reliant on them to fill any void in you.
I don't want my dog to die.
He has saved my life and I cry already just thinking about being without him.
Make sure his collar is something really special. Enjoy the time you have, do and say the things you need to say. Enjoy his company and relish in the love he gives you. Pups are so special.
@@DrDanielFox Thank you so much for understanding. You are special and the work you are doing is important, and appreciated. 🙂🐾
I've never been married. On disability for depression. No romantic relationships throughout life. No friends. No job. Isolated. 64 yrs. old. No relatives. I use excessive exercise to deal with situation. Very painful addiction.
@ventti s Good question. I play French horn. I have no friends or family. I watch a lot of psychological videos. Don't date. No dinero or job. I do not unequivocally ever watch porn! #liarliarpantsonfire.
I have been dealing with crippling depression for the past 6 years. I had to quit two jobs because it just got too overwhelming for me. What is the process to get approved for disability for depression? Thanks.
Hi John I so relate to you
Please get therapy or call 211 for free local resources. You can change your life and heal your life. Which Reminds me of a fantastic book, You Can Heal Your Life. Give your time to help others by volunteering or go to Meetup groups. I hope that you will have a better year .
I'm not gay.
Yes. Do a video on BPD and marriage and romantic relationships in general.
When I had just turned 18 I had a stress-induced heart attack. A Dr examined me and found irradict heart rythms a few days before it happened. I don't have BPD but expereinced physical and emotional abuse as well as some serious neglect.
I was also the target of bullies throughtout childhood as I was very quiet/meek and stood out because we were poor(poor clothing, mothers car was old) and the area I lived in had become, over the years, upper-middle class. I went to the hospital more than a few times as a result of the bullying. Back in those days they didn't have the same awareness about bullying as they do today so, since incidents happened around me I was often held directly responsible by school staff for them happening.
I had a breif relationship with a girl and it was the 1st time in my life anyone touched me that didn't intend harm. When that ended my mother really came after me with vindictiveness as she believed I had "gone behind her back" and betrayed her. She made it clear that my sole function in life untill I died was "to serve" her. It didn't take long after that for my heart to express 18 years of expereince.
Remember to breathe.
Even if there are no intense traumas, even if there is no crisis
many people lose sight of breathing in and filling the diaphram, holding it for a moment
and then slowly exhailing.
Remember to breathe.
Remember to breathe.
@Club Retro Thank you!
Good subject, Dr Dan! You know, broken heart syndrom exists in other species too, though it's a black rose of another name. Donkeys, for instance, can get hyperlipaemia when stressed by grief, bullying, displacement, or traumas of all sorts. They metabolize the fat in their body all at once, and it puts them into a sort of toxic shock. Sadly, I had a donkey this happened to, and it's a terrible thing no matter what species. Thanks again for addressing this tender subject.
@Kalaharikari
So sorry abt your donkey. Hope your life has improved since then.
Donkeys are so smart and super sensitive.
They feel your grief before you yrslf feel the full weight of it crushing your heart.
I find it interesting that you mention to watch something funny. Years ago when I was going through an extremely hard time emotionally I used to watch stand up comedy. It was the only thing that would help me to “feel”. This is a very good video overall, thank you for creating it :)
Haha I’ve been using release since I was very very young!!! I used to go for walks for no reason at all just heaps of the time. It made me feel less lonely as a teen etc
Great video! Thank you! When I divorced and had to go to split custody of our children-I thought I would die. I couldn’t keep on weight, my hair fell out, my skin would not heal, and my heart literally hurt and I would become winded/heart pounding walking to my mailbox. My heart hurt to the point I thought I would die.
This video literally saved my life tonight. Thank you!
+Kelli Shook 🦊👍
Currently going through a break up with my first love and it’s been over 2 months. It hasn’t been getting easier. I’d say harder. And I can’t stop contacting. I keep asking why it seems this is harder on me than most people would take it.
Pray. God always loves you. +
How are you now?
I had an intense fight with my narcissistic father and within a couple of weeks I developed irregular heartbeat and palpitations.
I got diagnosed with atrial ectopic beats.
Doctor told me to avoid getting too emotional. Now I can't drink coffee or any cardio stimulating substance like energy drinks
Idk if I have BPD.. but I know m really sensitive. Emotionally and physically.
Monitor your health very carefully and practice a calming ritual everyday, yoga or mindfulness. Be well and stay healthy!!
Thanks a lot for the advice! I am looking into starting yoga.. hope it will do me good.
I do not suggest yoga... I know it may sound strange, but...looking into the background and history of yoga...it can make certain things worse. But stretching and exercising and what not is really important of course. ❤
Hopefully not but if you are still experiencing this, may I suggest looking into stimulating the vagus nerve to heal those issues 🙏
@@angel5423 Think what they mean is then these (")medical(") institutes then conflating the potential results of spiritual experiences, with something abelist and/or their abelism, as if something abnormal and/or in the emotional mind and/or passed off as "delusion" and/or "hallucinations", even as opposed to hightened abilities, awareness and of senses? If not also mal*cious to it?
Relatable. I broke up with my soulmate less than a week ago and now I've been on 6 dates in 5 days. Claaaaaassic BPD.
Thats very sad!
I am 46yo. My 48yo husband (25y marriage) passed away after a long battle with emphysema and PAD, on Sat, 4/24/21. I only have a younger brother who lives 1,200 miles away and have been in recovery/DBT for almost 10 years. This video not only helped me become aware of what my body may do in this horrible period of time, but gave me an action plan for a situation that I had no idea how to maneuver (the 5 R's). I have been watching your videos for the last year-ish, commenting when compelled, but this video... This very well feels like it helped me save my own life. My husband would absolutely never want me to get "stuck" or fall into despair after the years of talking and preparing that we did for the time, when it came.
I know that you know that you make a difference, but for heaven's sake, please know that you've made a difference to me, to my relationship with my husband before his time came, and for my future.
Thank you. Thank you so friggin much.
Thank you for talking about this. I thought I might be losing my mind. I think this is what I'm dealing with.
I am an adoptee, relinquished at birth, then thrown away as a teen, in the streets, by the abusive and neglecting adoptive " family", I was the black sheep.
The first real bond I ever made in my life was with an abandoned puppy I ve encountered when I was trying to reach my country of origin, lost in a hippy/junky squat in the South of Spain: I was 20, and had no more "family" or anyone in the world( still the case, but I ve kind of accepted it).
I adopted this puppy, loved her like my own instantly, and became as protective and scared of losing her, or something bad happened to her, as an Ashkenazi mother during ww2.
All my life was focused on this relationship: I ll NEVER abandon her, never hurt her,I wanted to give to this little stray dog, everything I did not have..
And, despise being very oftenly homeless through my twenties; sleeping in the streets, no money, hard work in the fields, squats, while suffering violently of bpd/c-ptsd symptoms without even knowing I had it( only diagnosed at 36..), I managed to give her a beautiful life, full of love, hikes in the wild, good food, never left alone, playing, giving her my best,( when I could, cause life was tough..)
I think she saved my life, she was the only one that kept me from committing suicide( wich was in my mind since I was a kid)..I couldnt fathom the idea of abandoning her.
So when I learned she had cancer, a very bad and fast one, she was 13, I did everything I could to keep the death away: very expensive chimio, operations, the best food, alternative medecine... I was like a soldier, everyday, nights, changing her bandages around her wound, trying to feed her her medicine, carrying her in my arms to make her having her natural needs cause she couldnt walk anymore... I was praying my heart off, every second, for her to survive till the last second, believing in the impossibility of our separation...
When it happened( she died in my arms, in my appartment, one mornng, she gave me her last look❤😢)....my life collapsed, my screams were probably sounding very scary cause my sweet neighbor came and called my ex bf and an emergency " friend"( I had a lot of " crisis", so my neighbor knew who to call..)
I refused to let her body in the vet's freezer, I refused to let her away from my arms, I had to touch her constantly.. the vet accepted to let me keep her, in a special box, for 2 days till the cremation...I hold the box and had a hand on her during the whole time.
The funeral was as beautiful as for a human, the people that came with me were very nice.
Once I had her ashes in an urn, I knew the only thing I had to do was to join her:
It was the beginning of a long period of suicidal attempts, failing, crazy behaviors, constant drinking, too much pills/vodka comas induced, I thought I was already dead, in hell... I was only focused on her, the grief was too much, I losed contact with reality, speaking mentally to my baby all the time, trying to keep us in touch desperatly.. and went back to the streets( I ve lost my appartment, job, car, driving license, in less than a month..).
I ve decided that I had to free the ashes of my dog at the same moment I will end my life: I wanted to do it somewhere my dog and me had beautiful memories, hiking and sleeping in a tent like Belle et Sebastien^^, I was already dead in my mind/heart anyway, I hated life..
So I took a train to this place in South of France, dressed insanely, no money, decided to kill myself.
But with the harshness of the life in the streets of a big city, the pandemic that brutally changed everything, the violence, put me in survival mode..I had no time to die decently.
5 years have passed, my situation is better, the pain is still like the feeling of a heart operation without anesthaesia, but weirdly, I am still here..finally diagnosed with bpd/cptsd( wich I think are just the same), and finally understanding why I am so sensitive, different, and unable to connect normally with others.
I cherish the memory of my Dog, she is the best being I ve ever met, and she ll always be the best part of my life.. and little by little, the idea of healing myself, putting my life in the good way, bring me the hope that one day, I ll be able to bring a lonely dog in my life and be able to love, and take care, without being this infantile grown up armed uncorrectly to go through the difficulties of life.
Thank you for your channel Docteur🦊( my favorite wild animal^^), I am sorry if I am bothering you or anyone with my logorrheas on your channel.
I have phases where I feel the urge to tell my story, but I have no therapist( no money), and the few acquaintances that are still vaguely around, are not willing to spend too much time with me( meaby one coffee a month or so..), so I am pretty lonely, but very talkative, so it has to get out, somehow. Sorry.
Nice to see a counselor compassionately explaining what he has learned. The phenomenon of dying from a broken heart happens in animals too. I’m currently assisting an African Grey parrot who’s owner died. She plucked out most of her feathers and stopped eating. She is doing better now. Her feathers are back and she’s eating well.
I feel like my constant inner turmoil might be significantly shortening my lifespan, but the older I get the more that seems like a feature rather than a bug
Dear Dr Fox, I have subscribed to your channel because it seems like you are the professional in field of borderline and your ideas and methodes of how to help us or how we can help ourselves seem to be never ending. It s great and thank you for that. At some point of time thought i find myself thinking: this is so much work, this is so much struggle. Our lives are filled with constant work and burden of that. We cannot just lie down and enjoy we have to monitor, go to therapy, relax, rethink, reschedule, reaorganise, release. That thought sometimes tires me. That i always have to keep the strings tight in order to go trought the day or life and in order not to harm myself and others. This is a heavy burden doctor. This is a thought of constant work and constant responsibility. We actually have to put a lot of work in order to be alive. Each time i have heartbreak syndrome i have to put an enormous amount of my energy not to harm myself. Each time it happens i try hard to break trough that deep pain and feeling of ground disappearing and panick attacks one after another , I do my best to rethink I make reasonable lists and plans I try deep breathing and till now i managed not to harm myself bad. The question is how long i can be that strong each time it happens. Fighting requires from me.so much energy that i have to recover for the next few days as i am mentally and physically exhausted. And there is that burden: that we have to put that work into these events as well as into every day life to controle our emotions. It's a heavy and negative burden. Do you have something helpful for that?
I can listen to Dr. Daniel Fox's videos over and over, it feels like I'm talking to one of the nicest, knowledgeable doctors out there, it's so calming and enlightening and more important he teaches me how to manage my BPD. I love it ❤
Your videos have been very helpful in understanding my bpd spouse. I would be interested in videos for loved ones of borderlines especially how to respond to difficult situations and self care. Thank you for sharing your expertise!
Here is one I made on that very subject :) be well. ua-cam.com/video/m2aKmXq77n8/v-deo.html
I am so glad to have a doctor who talks about bpd in the manner of it being a medical condition and respectful… thank u … so much
I appreciate the time you put into sharing your knowledge and helping those of us in-between therapists to work on ourselves. It’s life changing work
Thank you Dr. Fox for your amazing and informative videos about BPD. Your videos are life changing as well as life saving☺. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words of wisdom. I wish there were more empathetic and supportive physicians such as yourself😊.
Dr. Fox, I am so happy to be able to watch your video's. Many, and I mean MANY years of therapy and while I am not discounting those years AT ALL, yet you have a great way of educating (me) anyone about not just the diagnosis of BPD but the ins and out of it - the life in it all and the effects on self and others.... AMAZING! THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH! I will be continuing until I have watched ALL your video's!!!
I HATE having BPD. I so envy people who can just brush something off and move on. I'm STILL grieving someone from friggin 14 years ago!!!!!!! God
I just have to say that you are a beautiful Doctor. What a wonderful way you have of helping people and it is just a beautiful thing to watch. Thank you for the helpful videos that you put out here for anyone to learn from. Awesome! You really are good at what you do and it is appreciated by many. Blessings to you.
Thanks so much for the videos, I’m from Brazil and we don’t have a lot of information on BPD. Your videos have an amazing part on my recovery and treatment. Thanks a lot!
Your videos are always so informative and helpful! I've been married for almost 14 years and have a very sweet, supportive, amazing husband. We did go through some very rough patches before I was diagnosed with BPD. I'm blessed that he stuck with me, and things have been a lot better for a long time. The 5 R's are very helpful! For me, release has been a life changer. I started jiu jitsu and boxing about 10 months ago, and after an intense workout I feel so much better- physically, emotionally, and mentally. It's also a bit of a mindfulness exercise, because while doing those things you have to concentrate; there's no ruminating on things that make me anxious. I've also found that massage is a huge stress reliever. I get at least one massage a week and I feel like a different person afterwards.
Thank you so much! I always knew I had a broken heart. My family prefers to call me CRAZY. They have no real empathy, they enjoy punishing me, isolating me, and thinking highly of themselves. But You said it correctly -- THANK YOU!
This is very interesting and helpful. I appreciate your gentle and accepting demeanour about Borderline Personality Disorder. Your approach is calming. Thank you for the 5 R's!
Thanks for putting this online. I'm a 63 yr old single male and have been having heart problems on and off for about 10 years but, despite extensive tests, nothing untoward was ever found. The cardiologists always said that it was obvious that something wasn't right (electrically) but they had no idea what or why. Each episode (arrhythmia, AF, breathlessness, dizzyness etc) was at times of major stress, with the last 2 episodes following breakups with women I thought I would be spending the rest of my life with. Fortunately I have always kept fit and continued to exercise, but at a much reduced level, despite the occurrence of these episodes. However, I have been thinking I need to reassess my lifestyle recently, and it was reassuring to see that the 5 R's in the video confirm that I'm on the right track! It is said that "knowledge is power" and, now that I understand what's happening, I feel much more positive about doing something to correct it. Thank you Dr Fox!
I had congestive heart failure (due to dilated cardiomyopathy) when I was 27 four months after losing my son. I have just been properly diagnosed with BPD. This was amazing to hear! I really enjoy all of your content and I’m grateful for your sharing it thank you so much!!
I appreciate your time put into these videos, I will dive into my own personal life soon. Thank you
Thanks for this. It’s like a reset in remembering what I need to do to help myself.
Right now, you're my only therapy source. I can't afford therapy because I was laid off my job a couple months ago, around the time I found you here.
Your voice is soothing and although I can't seem able to put anyting into practice, I cherish your advices, by watching your videos daily. It's part of my routine now. Please, keep doing this amazing work, and I'd love to see one on BPD and marriage. I used to think I've always been single for lack of luck, now I know it's because I'm a mess. People see this and they run away, as quickly as possible. It'd be interesting to hear what you have to say about it.
I am really appreciating your videos. They are helping me understand myself and what I can do to help myself.
Yes, PLEASE do a video on bpd and marriage. Your videos have been helping me avoid possible inpatient treatment, but I’m worried for my marriage. He’s held on for 14 years but this one has been the hardest. We welcome any insights, advice, & resources you could share! Thank you so much for what you do. Too many professionals don’t have the patience, commitment, and generally see the good heart behind those of us suffering and struggling to manage this beast. You’re truly changing my whole family for the better. 🥰
I love your videos...they are informative for me and my husband...I am BPD and it helps me and my husband understand and try and cope...we have been married for 19 years and we have had our ups and downs big time .
Your videos are awesome, thanks so much for taking the time to make them! I would love a video on bpd marriage, especially if you could spend some time on marriages where both partners experience bpd and are each other's favorite person!
I have suffered with broken heart syndrome since I was in my early 30’s due to PTSD in the military. I’m 57 and have had 8 attacks to date, the most recent one June 2020. It’s an absolute horrible nightmare. When I have an attack I feel a surge of adrenaline similar to when you’re on a roller coaster and then I go into cardiac arrest.
Please be safe and well. Thanks for sharing.
💜
Yes ! Would love a video on marriage and people with BPD as well as the pattern of co dependency between the borderline and their significant other. EMDR therapy would be a valuable video as well! Thank you!!
Many years ago,when I lived in England,I had a friend whom suffered from MS ( multiple Sclerosis) very sadly not only was she very young,but her husband told her he didn’t love her anymore...She had two you g children whom she loved,I helped her daily,her brother was horrified to find that she had deteriorated seriously when he visited her,and shortly after she died,the same day her brother was found dead in his car,also a young person..and it was concluded he died of a ‘broken heart’ it was a double funeral and the saddest one I had ever been to then,or since.Thank you Dr Fox for your compassionate understanding of BPD.
Thank you Dr. Fox. All your vids are so helpful
As a major hypochondriac, I'm going to stop watching this. But I appreciate you covering this topic. Thank-you.
Thank you for all the work you do ❤️
I would love to see a video on marriage and bpd. Your videos have been such an eye opener for me. Thank you
Thank you so much for your videos. You are doing important work.
Dr fox, i must say a massive thankyou for firstly your attitude towards us with bpd because we get some pretty nasty reception from alot mental health professionals making us feel like we are evil and unhelpable. Ive been in denial of my bpd traits because this attitude. Its made it very shameful to even look at till i found your videos so thats like the most important thing because now finally i can start watching and learning how to tame my bpd traits. The way you help us is unique and extremely helpful! If all psychologists had this attitude alot of us wouldn't be taking our lives in despair that we are absolutely horrible people
Great video Dr. Thanks so much!!🙏💓
Thank you for this message!
Dr. Fox, I'd really liked it if you'd make a video on BPD and Dealing with the Favorite Person leaving. As a person within the spectrum of BPD, your videos have tremendously increased my quality of life, as well as awareness and understanding some aspects of my own struggles. I am truly grateful for the help you provide. I hope this comment reaches you. Again, thank you so much.
Greetings from Argentina.
I honestly am so grateful to you.....
I learned this 10 years ago in medical school.
Very true and it's called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy/ transient LV apical ballooning syndrome/ampulla cardiomyopathy(Takotsubo is a Japanese word meaning a pot with a narrow neck and a round bottom used to catch octopuses)
1. first described in 1990 in Japan by a Japanese cardiovascular specialist . 2. More than 90% of reported cases are in women ages 58 to 75.
3. occurs more often in postmenopausal elderly women. Note: before menopause, less women die of heart failure (due to estrogen's protective nature on heart) than men but after menopause, more women than men die of heart failure. So logically, it makes sense why TCM is more common in menopausal women. It is worth noting that even a young women with estrogen deficiency is at risk if heart failure.
4. characterized by a transient hypokinesis(poor contraction/wall motion weakness) of the left ventricular (LV) apex
5. Is associated with severe emotional or physical stress of any type. Even Fierce argument can cause(eg. BPD)
6. Mostly resolves within a few days to several weeks. 7. Its prognosis is generally good. However, there are some reports of serious complications, including hypotension, heart failure, ventricular rupture, thrombosis involving the LV apex, and torsade de pointes(ventricular arrhythmia).
8. It's believed that these might contribute to the pathogenesis of TCM a.coronary spasm
b. coronary microvascular dysfunction
c. catecholamine toxicity
d. myocarditis
Note: its pathophysiology is not clearly understood.
Last but not the least I would like to thank you Dr. FOX for your humanistic and detailed explanations of BPD. My wife was suffering from BPD for 30 years and after we got married last year, I immediately suspected that she was having BPD then shared your videos with her which convinced her to see a psychologist. If this psychologist doesn't do a good job, we may contact you.
Your a genius I've been in a relationship with a borderline for 5 years and now I'm having heart problems from constant heart break from the relationship my arteries and real sharp ,, but I feel my self recovering little by little
Thank you so much for releasing so much information on bpd! I am defineately going to practice the 5 R's on a daily basis to help manage my disorder on a better way!
Keep it up :)
@@DrDanielFox What are the 5 rs?
@@darlenepaul2918
Just watch the video
I really like your phrase “ making majors out of minors”
It really is true for me. My family thinks I’m very over dramatic. If anything arises affecting my physical health, I really freak out and until I know if it’s serious or not, I’m in a very anxious state. I have a very low tolerance for pain, which adds to anxiety.
Thanks again for pointing out and explaining emotions we experience. It is very helpful!
Recently diagnosed with BPD, had Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (broken heart syndrome) in July 2019. Mind blown to find this video, the connection makes sense.
Wow. Excellent advice/lecture, sir. Thank you again for taking the time, and making the effort to post these videos.
Self help is very important when you can't afford regular therapy.
+Big Yeti Cane I agree. There are some great resources out there. Be well.
Hi Dr Fox - yes, please do make a video covering those who are afflicted with BPD and are married. Thank you kindly for your work - it's really REALLY helping me understand the origin of my BPD stemming from my narcissistic mother. The way you approach this topic makes me feel like a human being with a metaphorical broken arm, instead of a fundamentally broken and bad seed. :) xxx
At the very end of the video you mentioned "hormonal changes", which I have been thinking about and possibly struggling with. I wonder if you could even do a video on it. Sometimes my mood changes as I enter into a depression that seems to come out of nowhere, and I really wonder about the influence of hormones on this. Thank you for your awesome videos!!
Thank you for saving my life
Yes @Dr. Fox. Please do a video of BPD and marriage. I am in marriage ministry full time and need help advising married couples and premarrieds we counsel. Your videos are so incredibly helpful!
Likes and subscribed! Thank you for this very needed video Dr.