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What Happens When Your Ex Feels Your Loss
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- Опубліковано 3 кві 2023
- What happens when your ex feels your loss. If you want your ex to feel your loss and regret their decision to break up with you, there are certain behaviors you need to avoid and certain behaviors need to do. This is video is absolutely essential if you are going to turn your breakup around and re-attract your ex to get them back.
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Hey everyone, listen to Coach Craig Kenneth. He knows his stuff. I speak from experience. This channel has helped me so mucho
I miss margret
@@Thecherrychaser❤
@@marieb.2188 ♥️
Craig I wish you had an office in my building,I'd be there every day 👍💯
I’ve said this in another video and I’ll say it again. But I feel like we (as the dumpees) hold the power with no contact. We have the power to not give them any attention, go complete radio silence and most importantly letting them ( the dumpers) sit in their own thoughts about whether dumping us was the right thing to do.
@One With Nature Hello funny coincidence. But for me it’s reached a year now but within that year I’ve done a lot of thinking about him and whether our relationship would’ve worked long term and if I even want him back (if the chance ever presented itself). It was hard for me at first to go no contact because I desperately wanted to reach out to him during the 4 month mark (just to see how he was doing) and holidays were the worst. But with putting no contact into practice my desire to reach out to him has lessened and I know I will be ok moving forward if I don’t ever hear from him again.
@One With Nature Good luck to you as well
Cope
I agree, I think avoidants can't stand no contact and the longer no contact goes the avoidant dumper has anxiety real bad, but won't let people know.
@@dennishaas4745 I can feel their anxiety but they rarely let it be known
Life is too short to be with people who don’t want us.Choose people who choose u and enjoy life.
Exactly.
But he wanted me for five months and then nothing. How can I really trust another person's words again? 😞It's frustrating.
True
@@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858it’s not the words, it’s the actions, day after day.
@@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858trust yourself.
People really don't know what they got until they lose it. It's human nature!
False. Because people exactly know what they got, but they don't think loose it .
Only when you dont see it as primary
It is human nature. I’m surprised we aren’t extinct because how foolish of a species we are
Once someone makes the decision to leave let them leave. As hard as it may be. You will be alright.
Or you won’t be.
I'm not. 😢
Hell yeah
@@albertodeulofeu5277 😂 maybe youuu
Never give away your self respect and dignity pandering after someone who doesn't want you...
No Contact turns the tables on the Dumper and restores strength and confidence to the person who’s been dumped, even when we are at our lowest ebb. Walk away … and keep on walking.
It makes it easier when their rebound is a downgrade. Sometimes they can’t do better than you.
After a 5yr relationship my gf said she needed time to focus on her and her daughter. Sunday she was happy, Monday she said she wasn’t happy. It’s been 3 weeks NC & it’s weird I don’t even care. She text me, I waited hours to reply and was nice. Then stopped replying to her other text. I deserve someone way better who appreciates me and what I bring to the table. I own my own business, don’t drink, smoke, nothing and I’m loyal.
Use NC for self growth and you’ll soon realize that wanting someone who doesn’t want you is pathetic behavior.
Stay strong, be strong mentally & physically. Love yourself and stay positive! Good luck to everyone out there!
I feel the same way. My boyfriend of almost five years left me a week before Christmas. I was devastated at first but started working on myself (therapy and a program at a local church), but he keeps reaching out to me saying he’s working on himself and he does want it work. How confusing for me though. I’m a doctor, was married before for almost 13 years (but my ex husband cheated on me the last 4 years), I have my own home, no kids, don’t drink, I’ve never done drugs, don’t club or go to bars (prefer being active)…but I’m praying that I can find someone who will see my worth…despite being left I just want to be a good wife to someone one day
❤
Just had a gal end things. Thought she was great but now I'm just focusing on myself. Gym, walking the dog, yard work, and reading. NC is liberating in a unique way. You have a lot going for you. Don't settle. There are good guys out there.
@@helloworld411hellooo
My mom never appreciated my dad. Like you, he didn't smoke or drink. He was tall, good looking, educated, loyal and even funny. Good provider too. I think of thqt a lot because some people are truly ungrateful to the core.
Great advice….Stay away from alcohol and your phone 😂
🥃 🍷 🍺 📱 🙅🏽♀️
He is right i fucked up 😂 lmfao fucking drunk and started abusing her with words lmfao 😂 i left alcohol after this experience learning ways to recover.
They will reach out and hoover you just to see if they made the right decision of ditching you in the dumpster.
Most likely using fake dating app accounts
My ex and I split a few times. Each time I went to see her, reconciled, reconnected. Not begging , just talking. She said on many occasions " if you hadn't have made that effort , we wouldn't have reconciled".
Now I'm using no contact to heal. Not to get her back. To move on. To start over.
Some days, like today, I miss her. I think about the good times, about her amazing parts.
Then I think about the reality and real reason we broke up.
Not a fantasy, reality. So, I go back into my shell. I love her. I really love her. And I miss her.
However, we just didn't bring the best out of each other, all of the time.
We should be helping each other level up.
If you're not growing together , building together , and you're only powering up in each others absence, there's symbolism there...
update?
@@Account-br9kc I've not spoken to her since April.
I feel like mine is expecting the same from me. I was willing to help close the gap between us, but I figured out that she's chasing a guy she doesn't even like that much WHILE fearing losing me (sounds crazy right). I'm very confused and tired of her bs. Even thinking of going NC for good
Thanks....this has helped me
The thing is... when you play these games, you have to realize that they may be learning the same games as well. Therefore, you have two people who want to reach out that truly desire to talk to each other while actively pretending not to care about each other in order to fulfill some "manipulative" game rules.
While I admit that no contact has worked for me (almost) 100% of the time so far, reaching out and expressing myself and clarifying things that caused a misunderstanding, or just reaching out in general has also worked for me a majority of the time.
This would usually be after some level of no contact, so who knows if that was the 'only' reason it worked.
I should make it clear that I do not date or mess with western women. I prefer women who appreciate a good, loving, respectful, generally honest and affectionate man, so that is probably why I can break no contact successfully and always fall back into a relationship and go to be with the person even despite the distance. So, take my experiences for what it's worth in relation to your type of situation. If you're dealing with typical western women, then yes, you will need an unusual amount of game play and pages and pages or gigabytes of videos in order to figure out how you're "supposed to act" to possibly get a little attention from them. You better put a lot of work into yourself because as some of you already know even being above average as a male is no longer sufficient enough in western culture dating.
Regardless, if two people are adamant about playing the same game, both people will lose that game. Sometimes it can be better to break the rules of the game and discover the REAL TRUTH, even if it seems to cuts you up like a knife. At least you won't be forever wondering "what if."
Ive reached 75 days NC and I'm finally feeling better after a terrible break up. She dumped me after 8 years, engaged with a 2 year old. Family facilitate child contact so I can be in complete NC. No social media, no texts or calls.
The first few months and the holidays were agony. But now im the other side of the festive period im growing in myself and appreciating my own self worth. Ive been seeing new and old friends, doing coach craigs work books, binge watching these videos, seeing a local therapist and I feel great.
Im finally at a place whereby I now have the strength and confidence to move on should I need too.
To all fellow dumpees it does get easier and trust me! My breakup was the worst.
Im still crying about my ex after 8 weeks but if she comes back I Will tell her to leave me alone, it you can not stand by my side in hard times you don’t deserve me in good times.
Don’t do that…. You need to think 🤔 about what issues you may have had in the situation. Trust me you will regret it.if they want to talk & you be an ass about it . I’m going through it now. We been together 31 years. She has her issues.. but boy I do as well.
@@REDDPET yes exactly its about awarness not ego who was right and wrong..if the other person shows they are growing and reflecting there is always a chance ,ego games will only leave you single and lonely and then you will meet next person and pass on those unresolved issues onto them..its a cycle..people need to mature up and realize that if they do not put in the work and effort nothing will change 🙏
I totally get what you are thinking. But you should be doing the opposite. You should be saying, if you're not here for the good times (that you are having now moving on) then you are MISSING OUT! I know it's really is painful but who wants a guy who says "you don't deserve me" That is not how you'll get her back or even get any girl.
Why would she come back? Cuz you’re a convenient option? Cuz she couldn’t get with Chad?
She left me while she knew i was at my lowest.
It hurts like hell having someone leave after she got to know me at my last lowest time in life and swore never doing that to me...
Well, she did... BUT!!!!!!
I know i have a monster in my head that triggerd hers.. (and hers triggers mine back etc etc.)
She was all out of fight and then some. (Realy gave her all to make us work.)
Now, THAT WAS A FFING WAKE-UP CALL FOR ME!!
I am working on myself now so i can get the monster in my head dommesticated/under control and be able to have a healthy romantic relationship and be able to trust someone being this close to me without triggering childhood traumas
I hope the 2 of us can find eachother again, cause we really love(d) eachother.
If we dont... thats okay... i wish her the absolute best anyway.
I'm just greatfull for her to show me that i was worth fighting for.
I never REALY worked on my mental health, losing her woke me up to realy get things going..
And i love her for doing that for me.
If someone walks away LET THEM GO!! Move on and don’t look back !! They don’t deserve you .
The first time in 9 months since we've broke up I'm finally going away. She hasn't ever felt like she would actually lose me until today
As someone who knows cat well.. I can guarantee that when they say they miss the cat, they do miss the cat. 😂😂
I have good experience. If you got dumped...the best by far you can do ( if they left due to regular reasons ) is to focus on you...work yourself up...on everything...make your ex feel that is truly lossing you ( its hard but youi can do it ) since you are getting better, if you had a solid lengthy relationship...she will come back...i have lived this...she lost all atraction 4 me...i was a full on loser...she probaly cheated and was slepping post breake up with somebody...and then when i worked my self...stopped beggin...she returned in 3 months...
Probably cuz Chad rejected her and you were the convenient option
Still together....did it eventually work out?
He never felt the loss, 1 year later and I told him that there’s still some feelings left and he answered me that he didn’t feel the same but was wishing me the best. He’s an avoidant, can’t believe it’s been so easy for him to forget everything.
I was going through such situation but a friend told me about a man on UA-cam who helped him out, so I tried him out and hopefully it worked and we are about to marry.
Check out his UA-cam channel on Dr ABU ODU SOLUTION CENTER
I'm so sorry. I'm 9 months with this back and Forth. Pushed her away and now she wants nothing to do with me. Claims that she does miss me, but doesn't want to be with me anymore. Still likes and views some of my posts and I'm not blocked on anything. They can be cold. I'm just going to move on, I know her better than anyone (and she said that to me in one of her last texts) She will get curious one day
I'm a Fearful Avoidant. It hasn't been easy for him, he's just buried his true feelings. Trust me. 😔
Avoidant or not. He’s not for you. Truly do deep work within and accept it. Watch detachment videos. You’re so much better than him.
@@BullMarketBandit you can still get her back
My girl of 5 years cheated on me and left..I went through all the symptoms..Did all the begging etc...Now I'm a few weeks into no contact and I've had multiple emails saying someone is attempting to reset my Facebook and Instagram account..I don't think this is a coincidence..At first I wanted to forgive her for cheating and implement NC to get her back...As each day passes I see now NC is putting my own self respect and integrity first..I'm focusing on my physical and mental health and she can do what she wants..I don't care at this point, I'm getting stronger each and everyday and you can too..😊
Your positive mindset is really helpful. You do a really good job of explaining these dynamics to the point it is genuinely reassuring to know that I’m at least not alone and it’s very human emotions that I’m feeling.
one of the best videos out there. very thorough and informative. Thank you, coach Craig.
I know this is sort of borderline, but what if they sleep with someone else during the no contact period? I feel like I would not be able to get back with someone knowing they’ve done that once leaving. Sort of the nail in the coffin for me. Would love a video on this topic
I feel the same on this one 🙏
same
Same.
Maaan
Then you've answered your Q. Why bother taking them back if they could simply sleep with the next guy up to bat? Let her run the bases sort of speak. She'll learn/realize they took her for granted. There's more to a relationship than sex. She'll just be another #. Meanwhile, who's the one not fooling around? Who's not playing games? Who wants to have a mature, meaningful, and fulfilling relationship?
YOU and guess what? You'll find hundreds of other women wanting the same. Brother have faith. The same way you won her over? Do the same with another, guarantee you the results will be different.
Experiencing a deep loss is a life changing teacher..❤
I thought I was ready and confident in my ability to handle whatever comes when I went to get my stuff from my ex but when the day came I was so anxious I absolutely messed everything up. Give yourself some time and don’t rush to failure guys. There were a few curve balls thrown my way and I didn’t handle it well, I wasn’t ready at all hahaha
I accepted what my ex said when he text me goodbye, so he knows it’s a loss. He’s knows it’s over and I think now after 2 weeks contact he hasn’t reached out. It’s a horrible time
something very similar happened to me. It will take more time than you think for any reaching out, and accepting that is part of the process. But you'll feel better at the end.
Stay in no contact and i bet he will contact you. It takes months for their anxiety to build but it will. GOOD luck
@misagonna88 update?
Hey Craig! I decided to subscribe to your channel after watching your vids contents. I loved the honesty in your videos. I am currently on NC for 2 days now with my gf. She asked for space since she needed to focus on her upcoming graduation. She kept on chatting with me but I can feel the coldness in her responses even if she's the one initiating contact. So I decided that I need to make her understand that I don't deserve it. So I told her that we should heal separately for now and focus on ourselves.
She promised me that she will come back to us after her graduation but that is not what I am looking forward to. I want to focus on myself for now.
Thank you for this video. It was very in depth and insightful.
I don't think that's possible when the person doesn't care if you're not there since they've already replaced you and are obsessed with their new toy
Well, that depends on how great that new toy turns out to be. Every toy will not always be equal to or greater than the toy they previously had.
This video made me relax finally after a couple of hours of depressing about the break up. Its now more then 3 weeks of full no contact. Also set myself a goal to stop posting anything on my socials for this month. Still hope and want to rebuild the relationship.
UPDATE: 40th day of NC. 2 days ago she unrestricted me on IG (story, highlights). At first I didn´t even see she did that. She is watching my stories since the breakup. The last 2 days are hard cuz now I am waiting for her to reach out - unrestricting me after a month should mean something...right? Staying strong. I know that this sommer I WILL SPEND IT WITH HER.
Good for you , keep it up, it will take a while. My ex usually comes back in 5 months. She will grow cold after the new year, dump me around Valentines day and she comes back in late summer. that way she avoids valentines day and summer vacations. Watch for patterns. Best of luck
@@dennishaas4745 Wow harsh. She left me 1 day before my 25th bd. And she is finishing school 19 to get to university. She said that the age and school are the reasons and also she lost feelings. But mainly I Know she just got scared and I hate it that she didnt see me as someone that can help... we will see. Its now 31 days NC.
Update?
@@lucylights8065 I broke nc on 55th day and asked her out for drinks but she gave me a cold reply. For 2x time dont text me again. Thanks and bye. Then I just said that I wanted to see her. If this is what you want..... Then she just gave a emoji reply 👍. Didn't reply back
Now I am done reaching out. I let her know that the door is open with this gesture. But I am already in the mindset where im ok also with no answer. She needs more time. I lvl up in the last 3 months. 8pack, calestetics, finished my Master's degree, New Job.... She will see what she lost.
Absolute Truth! Thank you Craig. Great to see your expertise and many years of specialized experience. I am learning so very much from your channel and keeping NC. It's a great video of you and your passion easily seen.
Second video I watched of yours and all I can say is you have tremendous knowledge on all that you speak about and thank you! 😊
He has no empathy,I don't think he feels any loss,it's what he wanted . I think after a month of NC he can go forever like that,I miss,hurt,want to talk and see him,but I'm going no contact,it's hard but I'm trying with the strength of these videos
Why would u miss someone who has no empathy and most likely doesn’t miss you? Get therapy
I've been following you for years Coach! Thinking back on it, my come back rate of the the other was 50%. I just went no contact yesterday with a very nice apologize/goodbye letter. The good ones always come when you are not looking for it.
She wanted space and time. My letter told her that I will give that, but I need to move on with my life.
Truly the best video I’ve found, thanks a lot bro.
Great advice. Spot on. Thank you.
I have learned so much from you! You are a lifesaver for the heart❤
Craig! I can’t tell You how special a person You are!
Trust is broken when someone breaks up with you. That means they didn’t want you. Unless that had an epiphany and want to marry you, what’s the point? I would have been happy moving along at a natural pace if the recent guy I was dating stood up to his puppeteer mother about her nasty reaction to our age difference. At the end of the day, a man who cares about what everyone else thinks, esp. his mother wouldn’t make a good husband anyway.
If your boyfriend is an avoidant he's trying to please his mother because he never got that validation from her when he was young. My avoidant ex done the same thing, her mother would put guilt trips on her like you couldn't believe, it was sad. I am just amazed how peoples lives are so screwed up by their own family.
His Mommy issues will be projected on to you. If Mommy influences him, then he’s emotionally immature. 😢
@@retrogirl2443 No it's her mommy issues and she is emotionally immature. She tries to please her mommy because that was how she dealt with her Mom when she was young, plus she tries to be a people pleaser.
@@dennishaas4745 Well, if she grew up with a narcissistic mother, then the modeling and shaping results would create either another narcissist or a codependent and both are unhealthy. The people pleasers are codependent, however trained behaviors can be reshaped. It just takes a lot of therapy and self educating after introspection. Sadly, childhood trauma and learned behaviors result in unhealthy attachment styles. She was repeating what was modeled to her.
@@dennishaas4745 I should add that most do not look within to even begin to see that they need to make the necessary changes. I’m referring to creating and maintaining boundaries as well as how to avoid violating another’s boundaries and that’s the problem.
What a brilliant video yet again 👏🏽💯
Yes all those emotions are there and it hurts. This process really does work.
100% correct Craig. Brill advice.
The problem with breaking no Contact is when you reach your X a year from now, and she got pregnant and becomes a single mother. Let her reach out, no contact has those truth bombs you don't want to hear.
So does this mean contact them if they didn't contact you after some months?
Thank you for your good advice.. I really like it.. I will follow this advice thank you for sharing this
I know he is shocked I haven't initiated contact, nor have I shown up to our mutual social event. Radio silence on my end, and I'm proud of myself for remaining strong. It's been a month. I've been tempted, but reaching out will just be another opportunity to reject me. He made the decision to tell me to remove myself from his life, so therefore, out of my love for him, I will respect that decision. My only regret is gaining 8 pounds being miserable while I knew something was wrong when he pulled away before dumping me. For someone new.
I know I'll see him one day at the social event (when I'm ready) and I'll be confident, strong, secure, beautiful and 8 pounds lighter! By then, I don't think I'll want him back. He hurt me- how can I trust him again?
How did you know it was for someone else? Went through the pulling away & then a break up. However, I'm continuing to overthink whether there could be someone else.. hence the question.
@@nimishapathak199 We'd go to a regular social event and suddenly I saw this woman showing up and she was jealous of me as though they were a couple. Eventually he told me and I exited his life. They're still together pursuing their dream
So sorry to hear that happened. Keep going strong, you're doing well with no contact :) And thanks for responding, appreciate it. It was my biggest fear in my case.
@@nimishapathak199 I met someone during this "transition" and he is everything the former man was not. I'm taking it slow but he's showing me how much I was missing. I kept him at a distance, hoping the former would come back, but last night I saw they were still together and while it was hard to take, I needed to know that. It's over forever, and now I can start to stop grieving and stop hoping. Now I can start accepting what this new man has to offer. It still hurts, but I'm healing. And it feels good to be wanted. Wishing you all the best.
@@MIMIDSH I am glad that you're taking your time, focussing on your healing and the new :) Wishing you all the best as well. It was nice to connect :)
I made the mistake of chasing after him, begging, pleading. He left me when i was extremely sick.
I kept adding him on all his accounts and we finally had a final conversation, he pretty much admitted he hates me and doesnt care about me at all. Told me to leave him alone. I don't think I'll ever hear from him again. He really hurt my self-esteem. Even if he came back, I don't think I could do that to myself. I betrayed myself and made myself pathetic and small, all for him to end up rejecting me anyway.
Hey sorry for your loss.. maybe he took you for granted.. stay strong and day by day it will get better.. try to socialize.. spend time with family.. read new things.. you will be fine someday
Just give it time.. time is best healer..
Excellent video 👏🏾
I see no contact like this: If you keep on contacting them, they will be telling their friends and family about it and they would all be laughing at how pathetic you became for kissing ass. Do NOT become pathetic! STAY STRONG! It definitely hurts like mad, but once you remove yourself from them, they will go nuts that you stopped contacting them. Their EGO got deflated.😂
I’ve been watching these videos for the past two weeks. Really trying to understand and grasp a timeline in which my ex could possibly come back….Only problem is that she has Asperger’s. Things aren’t this way with them at all. When they’re done and made up their mind, there’s no coming back from it. Once they make a decision no matter how big or small, it’s set in stone even if they truly wanted against it. But thanks for these videos anyway 🤙🏾
My ex has Aspergers, he came back once before ( this is our second break up ) we have a child together that he doesn’t contact for and I won’t be reaching out to him. Breaks my heart.
Oh Craig I know you know your work and speak facts. And here I am hoping that my Exes feelings change. Either way continuous self improvement and motivation are the real goals.
I've been in no contact for 2 months. I broke it once though. 😅
Since the breakup my ex is stalking my social media But still stay silent. Only watching my stories.
But today, she just reacted to my post.
And I don't care!!! It's not enough to break no contact. 😂😂😂
In fact, I'm enjoying the no contact. 😅😅
Good for you, she will start following you or driving by. I go into radio silence and I don't know about you but the longer I am in no contact the easier it is.
You should’ve remove them from your followers. The reason your ex still watches your stories is because they get to have you in their life while not having to commit to anything.
It’s controlling. It’s them getting to get all the benefits and putting in zero effort. Just remove them like I did. Then it’s truly NO CONTACT
@@burentori9620 Eh - I seriously doubt that someone following someone else on social media is giving the follower as much power and comfort or "benefits" as you're imagining in your mind. Let them follow if they want. It will not do anything to *improve* their anxiety because it will most likely only lead to more questions and assumptions.
One of your best videos coach craig and trust me ive watched 100s 😂
Craig, if you ever become a musician, I'd like you to name your autobiographical debut album "Applebees & Diarrhea".
Sadly I don’t think mine will. Moved and made it clear. Done. Have to just accept that and move on.
Same here. She left me last year in August. I moved out in October. Shortly after I‘ve moved out her new boyfriend moved in. I‘m in no contact since I‘ve moved out. I don‘t really think she’ll ever come back.
@@supalocany thing changed bro I haven’t talked to my ex since July and she with somone new and when I asked her about it she blocked me and told me she moved on.
I feel like I’m watching the BBC here in the UK 🇬🇧. There are so many adverts that are disrupting this video. It’s so annoying!!!. Other than the extra 15 mins of adverts the video is spot on. Give them the break up don’t beg or plead or chase, don’t give them any of your time or attention, leave them alone. I am proof of this I went into NC and did I got to 1 month and she reached out.
Great lesson n life saving heart n brain❤
Thank you Coach!!! Love your channel
Hi Craig, can you please make a video about bread crumbing?
It feels like I watched close to all of your videos but you never go into detail about that behavior.
Thanks for everything, you’re helping people a lot!
@@MissSarahGM Exactly! I’ve been there and it’s so hard to navigate. My Ex is bread crumbing me since 5 months. I think for me help is too late but it might help others
@@peterpistazie669 It's tricky, because we never know if it's going to be "this time" and it's not a breadcrumb or they are too shy. Me it's 15 months. Contact every 4/5 months. Some breadcrumb selfishly, some because of mental issues and their own confusion I believe. It's always time to set a boundary and stop responding.
@@MissSarahGM She acts invested sending me reminders about our good times and contacting me very often. I am polite but not overly invested. But when it comes to meeting she is flaky and in the end all of it seems to go nowhere. I think it’s so easy to get held as a backup or whatever. Especially with avoidants you end up constantly wondering if she wants to but can’t do it or if she‘s just manipulative. It’s so hard to know when and how to draw a line
@@MissSarahGM I see seems very cruel. I know how much it hurts and how it hinders you from healing. So you did set a boundary by now?
@@peterpistazie669 yes it is hard. But it is necessary. Because if you don't and it's often, she's using you to get over you. So either you draw a line and say "I understand you don't want to take things forward. I see no purpose in further contact and only want someone excited to be with me. I wish you the best." Or you stop responding. And hope she will wake up; or not of course we don't know.
Great channel
Dam good advice 👍🏽👍🏽
Love the analogies
Amazing perspectives. I feel better. It's been 75 days of No contact.
Did they ever reach back out to you?
@@M72398 That may never be known. All we know is that somebody was counting the days here....
I hope that what I did isn't considered telling them I'm going into no contact. My ex wanted friendship, and I turned it down after a month of scarce contact (nothing in person). I just needed to make it clear that I wasn't going to settle for friendship.
It's been about a week after we broke up. What has helped was to go down to a local bar. Had some drinks and joined in a poker game. I feel optimistic about the future. My small town is out there.
Mine said he would do it all. Nope! Didn’t
Like and subscribed I love you. You're describing exactly how I feel. Even though I left him cause he didn't treat me right. Oh you're teaching me teach me teach me thank you❤
There are no guarantees that no contact alone will work to get your ex back nor are there any guarantees you'll find easily someone else. Online dating is very competitive and people are quite picky. People whom you go out aren't thinking how many times you have done the Workbooks. They don't just magically become attracted to you. Meanwhile your ex is in a new relationship and you're just an afterthought to them.
So much thanks for this video. My person suddenly dumped me and I don't know why 😢. I am already go in no contact because this hurts and I do want he is going to feel the same as me right now.
Healing gives us the repellent and the power to not ever want them back. They thought moving quickly into another relationship would make us jump and chase; when the reality is it forced us to simply move on, be indifferent, venture off into a different direction….why in the world would anyone want someone back who purposely moved on quickly in their attempt to win you back? Only in dumb and dumber, do they do that!!! What in the societal fool???? They’ve obviously been listening to too many rap songs 🎤🎤
I am now 8 months into the breakup and My ex never reached out. I did everything right... I went immediately into no contact and never broke it. 4/5 months after the breakup she now has a new bf. 1 month before she made him official, she liked me on a Dating App.. lol. I mean it feels bad that she never reached out and it made me sad. But I am now Happy that we aren't together anymore 😄
This is what women do. They go for dick after dick after dick. The never ending cycle of DNA milkshakes. They move on so fast, when they leave you, they already have another one. It is what it is.
this is what kills me, I think these no contact videos are complete bullshit. To give some time a bit maybe, but not too much, after all they are running away from us. If I went back in time I would have done everything differently
@@Account-br9kc Hey .. i am now more than a year in no contact and she is still together with her new bf + never reached out. But bro thats Not the point of no contact. You have to realize that no contact is for you and your own dignity. I am reflected everything in no contact and I am a wiser man today. I dont regret no contact. Its the best Thing ever and I am Happy that my ex never reached out.
What happen now she ever came back
@@keithbrown2425 No she didnt, because she is in a new relationship. But bro No contact is for you. You will grow from the breakup If you do it right. I know... You are in pain right now, but You can heal those wounds. believe me, i did it too
Clay Andrews is a couch here on UA-cam that suggest to stay in touch and keep reaching out. He clearly wants us to get restraining orders. He’s an idiot. Thank you Coach Craig for your advice and intelligence. 🎉
My girl I was seeing. She left me for her X so I'm sure she is doing fine. I'm a after thought...
I think one thing that gets over looked is that many of the people who "got dumped" were dumped for legitimate reasons and the dumper is much happeir now and out of a toxic relationship. In the comments, we pretty much only hear one side of the story and not the entire truth because most people refuse to take accountability for their own actions. Or, your ex realized that the both of you were just not compatible long term.
They could have stayed with you to see if you can make changes. If it was long term then they didn't realize incompatibility in 5 weeks.
That's true. But many of us had avoidant ex where they would tell you one day they love you and the next day you are dumped. Or when you spend $4,000.00 for a vacation and they back out 2 days before leaving because fear of commitment. Or when you purchase a $6,000.00 wedding ring and they try it on and you can see the fear in their face knowing that they are afraid to settle down.
@@dennishaas4745 those feelings didn't come in just that moment. They have been thinking about it for some time. The ring or the vacation was the final trigger.
@@dennishaas4745 another thing, everyone has anxious and avoidant side inside them. Everyone. Remember when during the initial days, your ex was probably an Anxious person, constantly calling you, texting you, asking about your day. Now their avoidant side came out to protect themselves. No one is completely anxious nor avoidant.
@@daddyshark You are correct
Hi Craig its nice you did one on. Your own .I need gets back into the course .I'm.still on thr first set .I waa finding they helped me understand n to know what things in realionship I had n have to change too.
My partner now , I chose I didn't want my ex back after going through everything n pain n cheating .
So my current partner we don't live together , but when he gets into these moods of frustration etc he closes up n don't tall for. Upto a week or more .
He may text but at first he highly wanting talk to me few times a day !!
This is a pattern of his , this caus of my issues I feel these feelings even though we together...
Im.super sensitive due to childhood n past realionships some that things had happened to me ..
Is this good idea I just listening n made me wanting to do work books again. .
I’ve been a live in relationship for 3 years anytime things get rough he dips out and blocks me even if he is at fault for the argument. I get obsessive and keep reaching out until he starts talking to me then he apologized etc but it’s been a cycle ! I gave him an ultimatum we are on a committed relationship and if he chooses to leave after an argument and go contact it’s over. He went no contact and I told him he made the decision and it’s over. I’m hoping he will realize what he lost. But focusing on myself even though I’m hurting and want to tell him off Still! I’m so hurt but he needs to realize that it’s over. My payback will be when that sets in
I am in the same exact position! Dating three years as well. Every time he has done the silent treatment he would have an excuse he was busy with work or something. He would say he was too angry sometimes to reach out. I would argue it's not fair but in the end accept his excuse or apology. Now I have not heard from him in two weeks since we got into an argument. I admit I did not handle the situation well and it feels like now it's really over. I decided to stop reaching out a few days ago. We will see if no contact works. Even if I never speak to him again I hope I can let go and heal.
It’s tough when you have kids together and they use that to manipulate and create ultimatums and threats to my time with the kids, the current housing situation since they just moved out of the house after like 8 months of continuing to live together after saying it was over and the threats to affecting income or threatening legal action they feel they could take against me when I’ve done nothing to warrant such action. Due to my work schedule and state I live in and how lopsided things are in the legal system that I already went through with my previous ex when things didn’t go how anyone thought it would and I had a strong case
what happens if we talked about not having contact already?
i’m assuming NC is less effective… he lost feelings so i’m scared they won’t come back. today is day 25 NC and 34 days from BU
But what if when they leave they start therapy and on working on themselves, won't that help them get over the loss when it shows up?
That's what always gets me is they are making decision for me. I have no say.
Thank you!
It's a game, the ex is repelled by you expressing feelings but over the moon with the rebound expressing feelings. The whole break-up thing is push pull, it's a battle of wills.... it's a game. Like you suggested in one episode,.
" You want to keep your CARDS close to your chest "'
I'm not going to have that dynamic shift, because I have been working on myself through prayer and reading and fasting, so I think I'll be ready for when she wants to come back and visit ( so to speak).
I had a girlfriend we were seeing each other for two years she said that it was well and truly over with her ex. But it wasn't over for him, he manipulated his sons against me, which they are his sons, I didn't try and be their dad, but at every turn, he wouldn't let her go. Now I have put her back in the arms of him, one that she complained about to me that he manipulated her for years, 17 years and I came along and put her first. I think she programmed me a bit to do that way, but I'have abandonment and people pleasing issues that I need to change about myself. I don't think I would ever have her back, the ex can have her, her son is on the spectrum and I was willing to take him on at 6 years old, and we bonded but I have abandonment and people-pleasing behaviiour which I have finally learned through this that I need to change.
Wow my ex avoidant kept breadcrumbing for 2 years post breakup . It never went anywhere . Now I’ve been in a new relationship for 3 mos . I started the year no contact and he called saying he was having panic attacks and he said he wanted to change. He realized what he’s been doing. Sad when it’s too late
The reason I informed him is because our kids are friends so we give the kids rides. I told him I’d keep in contact with the kids mom
Also as your working on yourself & their not & if their with someone new their at the same capacity as when they left & it will show thru to the new person & especially if they haven't heard from you-it will also thru to their new relationship as they sit & think about you & become increasingly uncomfortable & irritated.
I totally agree, their problems will follow them in the new relationship. If they are avoidant, they will be avoidant with the new person. After the new person leaves, they will sit in their house and the anxiety will kick in.
30 years of marriage and two kids. We had issues for the last 15 years, but I betrayed her trust through social media for the last year and she immediately filed for divorce and has not spoken to me in three months. I am devastated and at this point in my life have no idea where to go or what to do next. I’ve taken full responsibility and accountability for my actions and ask for forgiveness and just an opportunity to talk through our issues, but she will not even respond.
She was gonna leave u anyway. Women leave. Don’t blame yourself.
16 years, and he left me 4 hours after his mom died, says he has to find himself and start a new life. How did he switch off on me like that? I thought we were so solid, but he has turned cold and still all I want to do is help him through his darkest days.
His mom died and yet you are only thinking about you. That is kinda selfish you know.
@@Lusitano1 What a ridiculous, emotionally immature comment to make. You can be hurt by someone's actions, even if you have empathy for their pain.
@@RioTorxx When you want to help someone you just do it. That is empathy. From what you said, it really seems that you only think about yourself and your needs. His mother died, and you want him to help you? You should help him, not the other way around.
oh man today is my first day of no contact but i told my ex (who is still my wife) "im not going to contact her at all and not to contact me at all " i thought i had to say it to arrange kid exchange every few days without her visible presence. Have a messed up? But i blocked her and unfollowed her and removed her from my phone existance.
I left and said Id come back after she got some help. The after a month or so she said it wasn't working for her. She basically said because I left and said I never would. I dropped out and suffered greatly. I saw a couple SM posts and told her I never want to hear or see her again. In August I ran into her and her watchdog niece walking the beach, I said good morning and kept walking...someone said good morning over my shoulder but I didnt turn...now its been a year...I want to reach out but havent, she wont because I told her not too.
My ex just initiated the break up last week during my dad's birthday as she claimed that I'm not the one for her after 1 year and 11 months together. She also said that I didn't change according to how she want her future husband to be.
Her sister just came to my house to claim her items. Does it mean that she's not the 1 and she'll not miss me and our memories together? Will she come back to me again?
How do I go no contact ,when I am helping someone that is very close to them. If I stop visiting the location ,then the elderly person might be feeling a sense of abandonment . what should I do?
I'm not the dumpee. However, I was deceived and done wrong. My ex can't be faithful to anyone. I decided to leave and never come back. Now, she's bitter and angry. However, she's in a rebound relationship and won't divorce me. She just threatened me that she'll drag it on for 2-3 years.
But is it wrong I had to block him as well on Facebook? Because he was visiting my page every day
Is keeping them on your social media friends list and positive thing or negative. I know she watches my videos and posts it shows she does
block. Let them wonder what you're doing. Disappear for a while. You don't owe anyone access to your life and all it does it keep you noticing them, which is what they want. If they don't know what you're doing, they might have to... omg-- ask! Reach out.
What if I tried the friend thing for about a week then told her I couldn’t talk for awhile because I needed to recalibrate and focus on myself? I know she would never reach out first out of respect for that decision. I was planning on after a month casually asking if she wanted to get coffee?
I think it would be good for her to see me doing well, in person. I know better than to bring up the past, I would just be confident and not try to drag the meeting on. Leave her hanging after that and see what happens.
i was too honest and got manipulated to such an extent i can not describe.
the "Trust me" is no more for me. i have been destroyed by an ex husband and now this person capitalized. How is there recovery from that....
Give them radio silence. 🤫
It's been 20 yrs. He was clean 4 yrs. I had numerous reasons why I broke up with him. I've left him alone. We had lost a baby and hiss first cell phone was on my account. He still has the same number but he has a burner phone for what you can imagine. He's on my mind often. I think he's getting married.
He contacted me after 12 yrs to tell me his Mom died. I went to the viewing. Never saw or talked to him again.
Going on multiple decades?! You really need to move on, if you can't, get a therapist. A dead relationship should never have this hold on someone.
Lost of contact hurts a lot
Mine happens to be a coworker that I occasionally see around the jobsite. I am in no contact. I have waved to him, just to be cordial. Is that technically breaking contact? I haven't said anything, nor has he.
So he broke up with me a month ago but we've still been in contact. Talking about the break up and the possibility of getting back together- he wants to be with me but is scared that my flaw of getting too angry could resurface and hurt him again. More recently he's been calling me every 2 days almost like clockwork- I decided not to answer and to go no contact on him. Why should someone who walked out of my life and clearly said he's going to do his own thing in the interim have access to me....even though he's reaching out why should I always be available. No! I've made the choice to stop answering his calls and being available so that he can truly feel my absence from his life.
How about when the dumper keeps on texting, hi ,morning and you don't answer but he keep on sending like he cares for you ,must we block because the blue ticking isn't working ?