As someone who does direct patient care at a mental hospital, I feel so ashamed of those people. My number one priority is to help my kids and be there for them because so often they haven't had anyone on their side. I could never imagine anyone on my team yelling at a kid that they don't have time for them and don't believe them. This just broke my heart. No one deserves to be kicked while they're down. I hope you guys never have to go through something that again.
That's horrifically abusive- restraint as punishment? I'm sorry they treated you that way. I'm so angry this stuff happens. They not only failed in their job to help and protect you, but they caused you harm. That was not your fault. It's brave of you to share this, as I imagine it might've been tough to think and talk about.
This hospital should be CLOSED! They can’t treat anyone in disrespect and violent way, you can tell how ‘professional’ they are. So glad that you got out of this hell. and please don’t hurt yourself anymore, they are not worth it, and I am here with you when you are depressed and sad. Everyone here would help you go through it. btw, nice make up, so beautiful
I have DID too and have a mute personality (alter) too, so I can relate, but that's an extremely awful hospital to be in, I'm glad you got out of there :)
I had a similar experience when I was hospitalized, I have BPD and I'm transgender and they punished me for asserting my name and pronouns. And I was constantly told my gender was invalid and fake. You all are not alone in this experience. I am now in college studying to work in psychology to help people never have experiences like this again.
That’s apples and oranges. Of course they have to call you by your LEGAL name. It’s a mental hospital. Can you imagine if everyone tried to make up names to go by? They have to use your legal name, especially if it’s a state run facility. The fact that you even compared your experience of the wrong pronoun being used to what happened to her is crazy.
Same thing happens to me. I’ve been to a mental hospital twice (same one.) Obviously for legal documentation you have to do your legal name but it was always the morning staff would respect my gender and the night staff wouldn’t. I’m currently studying psych too and hoping to do the same thing.
Hello This is not the UK, the is the US, and like Kyle and I, both, already said, legal names must be used in hospitals. When it’s a mental hospital, especially, since a lot of the people were court ordered to be there.
Wow, what an incredibly unprofessional facility! It's unbelievably unfair that you had to be treated this way! I can't believe it :o I'm at a loss for words...
I'm so sorry Makani. I'm so angry and hurt on your behalf. How dare they act like that?! It scares me almost as much as it angers me that there are people working in that kind of environment, who are meant to protect and help people, and they just hurt them even more with their ignorance. You did all you could to be heard, thank goodness you were finally able to get out of that hell. Thank you for being strong enough to feel able to share your story. You're valid, you're enough, you always deserve to be heard.
I felt so angry watching this. How do people work on a place that supposed to help and do shit like this. I'm so sorry you had to go through something so horrible Makani
Your treatment was horrific!! I worked for many years at a state mental hospital and this is Unacceptable behavior for a health care professional to treat a patient this way. In the state I live in you CAN NOT restrain a patient for any reason. How terrifying to be threatened in that manner when someone supposed to be helping you. Sending positive healing energy to all of you 💙💙
I just started watching this channel yesterday, because it was recommended due to me binging several DID UA-camrs, and I've already decided that I would protect Makani with my life.
That experience was really messed up. DID is real and yet they broke contracts and laws and treated you with such disrespect! I wish I was there to stand up for you, but I'm glad your other friends did. You are such an inspiration for being so brave to share this to the world, so thank you very much for sharing this experience. I hope you know that each and everyone of you are important and special and vital to this world, and if people don't see that then they don't know what they're missing. Stay strong and thank you again for sharing!
that is absolutely disgusting. their job is supposed to be to help people and what they were doing obviously would only make you worse. i'm honestly horrified that they treated you that way, that's one of the cruelest things i've ever heard, completely unprofessional and to be honest just pure evil. i'm so sorry what they did, no one deserves to be treated that way and i hope you're doing okay now. sending all my love
Those things ( I can't call them humains) should get arrested and get their medical licence taking away, no one deserve what they did to you ! And for being a doc you need to go to medical school where they talk about DID, those "medical members" decided they can throw away a mental condition like this, how did they get their licence ?!
I’m so sorry. I have a disability that sometimes causes my vocal chords to be too weak to speak but other times I can speak. I have had situations and people who refused to hear me too so I know how powerless and vulnerable it can make you feel, especially when they are hurting you and by not letting you communicate they are not letting you defend or protect yourself either. We also know how hard it is when you are so distraught and then are punished for not being able to just stop being upset in order to comply to what how they think you should be behaving. I have never been in a mental hospital though and can only imagine how terrifying and traumatic being held in a hospital where they are treating you like that must have been. I’m so glad you at least had friends who tried to stand up for you and a good mum to protect you when she found out what was going on at least, but I am so so sorry you had to go through that trauma in a place that was supposed to help you. I can only imagine how much harder it must have made future attempts at treatment/getting help must have become for you all after that.
Thank you for sharing Makani. I am learning more and more that the way we think doctors are (from shows and stuff) is not how they actually are. I'm sick with gastroparesis, and doctors are mean and hurtful. Despite being sick.
I'm so relieved Katie's mom pulled y'all out of there! I hope none of y'all ever experience something like that ever again! This was just awful... it's terrifying to think that people do this, and I'm so sorry that this happened. It must've been difficult, but thank you for sharing your story.
This makes me so mad. I have lots of friends who have gone to mental hospitals and I almost took a few trips there myself before and I hear so many horror stories. There are so many ignorant and harmful staff members who bully and hurt patients and it is so baffling. I'm so sorry you had to go through that Makani and Katie and any other alters that had to go through that.
You guys are so awesome to be sharing your story and also for being comfortable enough to share something like that. It makes me so angry as someone with ptsd that they would yell at you for being upset. I am so glad you got out of there when you did, those are horrible people and it makes me angry to think that they probably still had there jobs after that. Thank you so much for sharing.
It's happy for Makani letting us know one of your traumatic experience although it's really sad to hear that. It's not easy to maintain such system but just want you to know all of you have our support.
Wow it's hard to believe that places like this still exist! Thank you for being willing to put yourself out there by telling your story and promoting awareness for mental health and revealing how screwed up the system still is. That aside, I'd really love it if Makani could make a video on some easy ASL. I learned so much just from watching these videos and I've always been interested in it!
Thank you for sharing this Makani. It was horrific that this happened to you and it's telling your story that helps people see that this behavior exists and needs to be stopped. Thank you for being brave and talking about it. I'm so sorry you were treated so terribly.
Oh my goodness I am so glad you’re alright an got out of there, I hope that hospital gets caught an has some people fired..... side note I’ve been binge watching your channel and subscribed, I think it’s fascinating and educational to learn about DID through your eyes and the eyes of your alters
Matt Brown Hi Matt. I too have been binge watching. When you're finished watching Ryland vids I suggest going and watching Jeremy. He has a lot of info and his alters are awesome. I'm curious how to you come along these Vids? Did the Asian girl cone up on your notifications. I think her name is Alex? Let me know.....thanks.
Miss Angie! Miss Angie! Miss Aaaangie! Actually I finished binging last night an found the entropy system an have been binging their videos but I will watch Jeremy’s channel when I am done should be tomorrow sometime, anyway the way I found this was I was watching something on tv that had a DID character and was curious as to what it was really like so I came to youtube and found videos but none were more interesting or informative as this so I starting binging, now I’m binging another DID channel the entropy system but as I said I will check out Jeremy’s channel thank you for telling me about it
Makani you all are so brave! thank you for sharing your story. you all deserve to be heard and believed, and no one deserves to be treated in such traumatizing, disrespectful ways! Especially in a place that is supposed to help you. We are so sorry you had to go through that. Take care, ya'll
Holy crap?! I can’t start to imagine the pain that this caused to everyone that was involved and wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemies. I feel so sorry and appreciate you sharing this horrible story with us
This was so scary. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this horrible experience. It’s incomprehensible that the people who are supposedly trained to help you can be so ignorant and mean to someone who is begging for help. It makes me very sad that this happened to you. I’m glad your mom got you out. Thank you for sharing this
It's just so terrible to know that you can go somewhere to get help and instead just get traumatised MORE and end up in a worse place than before. So so terrible. So sorry Makani that you had to deal with this kind of ignorance and cruelty :( :(
Thanks for telling your story Makani and I'm so happy you are in a better place now. When did u guys start learning sign language? I taught myself the alphabet and about 100 other words from a book when I was 11. Watching you sign brings a lot of it back for me..👍
that was a really messed up thing they did. no one should ever have to endure that and im sorry they did that to you. at least there was one nurse in that hospital who actually cared enough to listen. you are extremely brave it must have hard to share you story and experience.
Makani, I am so so sorry for what you went through! I spent 5 days in a hospital too and it was an awful experience for me too. I'm tearing up after watching both of these videos. My heart breaks for you and I really am so so sorry for what you went through. I sincerely hope that these people get what they deserve one of these days. Absolutely horrendous treatment!
Hey Makani, we feel so bad that you had to go through this. We love the fact that you communicate via ASL! We have two alters that don't speak and use ASL to communicate. They love watching you sign in videos, it makes them feel good. Ps. We were actually able to get an interpreter for our therapy sessions.
Hi K. I’m an EMT and work a a detox facility for drugs and alcohol. Many of our patients have mental illnesses anywhere from anxiety, autism and depression to being mute and having DID. This video in particular I believe has helped me understand more so I can effectively treat my patients with mental illness and help them in any way possible. I know coming out with traumatic past is difficult I have some things I’ve seen as an emt to this day that haunt me and won’t talk about. But what you shared is making a difference in my life and others I come in contact with. I appreciate all of you.
Thank you Makini, you are so brave for sharing this story with us. This is just terrible and I’m so glad your mum got you out of there. I just wish it was sooner...
This is horrifying. Makani and Katie …. I am sooo sorry how you were treated. Doctors and staff have no right to do what they did to you. They failed in all ways imaginable. I am glad you told your story and maybe someone seeing this will get something out of it. We all love you and all of your alters too. Lots of love
Thank you so much for sharing, Makani. Im so sorry you went through that, it hurts me so much to know others would experience this from those who are supposed to help you when you're already in so much pain. I've had a few similar experiences in my local hospital with DID and being told to stop lying and even being held in a room against my will with my parents yelling outside, being told by a doctor that I was many horrible things; in the hopes to make me angry and share information. Im so sorry you went through what you did but again am glad you can share this now. We are hearing you. These kinds of horrid experiences need to be shared and I'm so proud of you for doing that. I'm sending you all, all of my love and support, from one system to another. 💕
I can believe as well as simultaneously I cannot believe this abusive, extremely traumatic mistreatment that you experienced. I feel very sorry that you had to go through these unfair and awful experiences during your stay at a place where you are suppose to be receiving care in order to help you get well, not worsen your state. [😣]! I understand receiving mistreatment at a similar hospital stay; however your story really was an "eye opener" as to other experiences that we face. This is a huge case of discrimination. Nobody deserves what you experienced. As far as I am concerned, you deserve compensation. That is the least this particular hospital can do to apologize. I am just curious as to what country was this in? Sending you lots of love, hope and warm wishes, Sheri
I can understand you, yes I believe you... I suffer of anxiety and panic attacks and my sister suffered of severe depression with panic attacks (we're both under medication) and the people and some doctors DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS THINGS... sometimes I had to change the dr with I was because they have the "doctor job" but they don't wanna and don't understand this problems they're only work for the money, when something like this is happening you have to speak and if u wanna help keep asking for help and the correct help... came in time... (sorry my english I'm not american) the right doctors? are the ones who are listen to you when you sad when you wanna cry, maybe they don't tell u a word but they are listening, when we have troubles we're not making up...that hospital was not for you (the man was right) big hugs for all of you! I love your youtube channel xoxo
I am so sorry this happened to you!!! That hospital sounds horrible and doesn’t even sound like the “professionals” knew what they were doing. This makes me so mad on your behalf! You are valid. You are important!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You all didn’t deserve to be treated so cruelly and it’s vile that a mental hospital is allowed to operate like this. I’m glad y’all got out and are doing better. Thank you for sharing, Makani.
This really brings back memories of my hospital visit. It was VERY similar to yours, with the exception, that I finally did lose it, and just accepted I was going to die there. I even went seven days without food, towards the end of my stay. Many similarities in my stay, except I was there for suicide ideation, and drinking in high school. It wasn't until 5 years later, I would learn I have DID. It actually stopped me from seeing a professional for years, for fear this could happen again, and I only decided to get a professional, after my friend accused me of having DID, along with the opinions of several, now well known, youtubers with DID. This sadly happens all too much. Just glad you made it out.
Yup, that is just horrific, I'm so sorry honey :( I'm glad you were able to share with us though. Places like that need to change , that is no way to treat a human being, let alone someone who has gone through the struggles of any mental 'illness' or tbh really ANY life struggle. It's not like people don't take going there seriously. I'm so, so sorry and certainly understand why you had not just one but a few splits from the incident. I thought the doctors creed afterall was "do NO harm". Sigh. Sending you lots of love even though this is after the fact :(
I don't know what words I can add anymore... I'm just crying for people's vulnerability. Why can't I be a God who protects every person and animal on this planet...
I'm so sorry you all had to experience that! I will never understand why people sign onto jobs they're clearly not able to handle. Patient care needs to have higher standards, and the businesses that employ them should give a shit how they operate. I think if more people, are as brave as you all are, we could see a change. And I really hope you all never have to deal with that type of treatment again. 💛
They broke the law, by not obeying that contract they broke the law. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. It sounds horrible and unbelievably painful and traumatic. Hospitals like that are nightmares for a lot of people. That male staff member was the only one that showed the true compassion and commitment it takes to be a doctor, no to be a human. Thank you for speaking out and for telling this story. I know it might sound strange or might be weird hearing it from a complete stranger but you are brave and strong. None of you forget that.
And this story hit hard because similar has happened to me in the past, not in hospital conditions and I don't have DID however I am autistic and people thought I was just being a 'nightmare' and 'attention seeking' as a child in distress and did very nasty things to me which have affected me to the point of a hospital admission due to uncovering the memory of this trauma. Only now has my autism actually been addressed and I'm very grateful as I'm receiving the help I need. Hugs to you guys, you all inspire me a lot 💘
I'll be honest. This story was hard to get through, but I felt it was important to not close the tab. I'm on the autism spectrum and get physically overwhelmed by intense emotions (in this case, empathetic anger), so I had to pause a couple of times, but I had to hear (read?) you out. Thank you for sharing, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I don't understand how they could be so callous as to treat you that way. That's not in any way okay, and they were wrong and unprofessional to disrespect both you as a person and your system in denying your DID. That was both abuse and malpractice, and they have no place being anywhere near the medical field. It's strong of you to survive, and it's strong of you to speak out. I hope you and your fellow alters take care of each other and that you have better external support as well. Stay strong.
I love how you describe all this. It seems like a mirror my experiences in the 1980's. Then patients at the Dandenong Psychiatric Hospital, Australia, were treated like 'Dreadful Untouchables' by a then mostly ethnic Indian nursing staff. I was so dehumanised by staff treatment that when a patient (Kevin) entered the rec room clutching his newly slashed throat, I watched as the blood seeped through his fingers and just watched without moving, or seeking help. You see if I ran to the staff-desk the policy was always to turn their backs on patients and IGNORE all communication. I was a frequent impatient because I wanted a divorce. They gave me 'rests' to cure me, despite my many fractured skulls - one of the bashings took years for my skull to refix itself. My head was like a cooked-cracked-egg for 3-years. But according to the staff "He is such a lovely man, and if you don't stop telling us about this violence you will never see your children again. I am sorry you went through that but it sounds like psych hospitals haven't changed much.
This is such a painful story, I am so sorry you’ve been through this. I did not think doctors and nurses were still like this in some places. 💔🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I think you should do a voice over with these. I’ll watch either way but part one was a lot easier hearing it too!!! I know some people can’t read or see very well also! Lastly I’m so sorry you had to go through all this I have a few questions was it mainly one of you that came out at the hospital or did a lot of you? Do the others have a different stories of what happened to them during the time they were out? And how long were you in there for?
We were only there for 3 days. The other alters were out, but only Makani was bullied. I will voiceover this video when I can, but I’m out of town for Labor Day so it won’t be until I get back.
That’s the most horrifying thing that can happen! I’m so sorry! Makani said she fronted a lot then but I guess the whole time I was wondering why didn’t one of the protectors come out? I was secretly hoping one of them would to give those horrible monsters a piece of their mind.
Hi Makani, I had some other thoughts, but what I mainly wanted to say was that your thoughts, feelings and experiences are just as important as anyone else's, and that you have the right to be heard, and that your methods of communication are just as valid. I'm glad you've learnt ASL and now have a better way of expressing yourself, and I hope that you will find people out here who listen to you. You is smart, you is kind, you is important.
I know nothing about DID apart from what I've seen online, but I have at least one friend with a horrific hospital-related experience where the staff really failed her. I'm so sorry you experienced that.
OMG this makes me so furious!!! I'm so sorry Makani that they treated you like this. I hope you guys reported them or something. I don't understand how ppl can be so cruel.
I've got pretty the same experience I've got forced hospitalization last year, the staff was so cruel to me, I wasn't in the kid section of psychiatry because I was over 16 years old. My "roommates" where two middle aged man, one with alvolism and one with bipolar syndrome. They weren't showers in my room, I must go to the public shower of the service, water was cold. I stayed three days and then I begged my mom to get out of this, this wasn't safe at all, during my stay I never be visited by a psychiatrist. I couldn't go anywhere because all door where locked... I hope you all feel better now ! Sending you a virtual hug! (Sorry for the kinda shitty English, I'm from Belgium)
Omg.. I still can't believe this is happening in psychiatric hospitals in the 21. century, I can't believe that this is the 'help' you get after you're too fucked up to live without the help. I still can't believe even though I expirienced it. Halllo, we are people too!! The problem is that they're probably not anymore, or better to say, what power makes when it' in wrong hands... you're so brave Makani!
Hi, so I just wanted to say that your channel is amazing and I love watching Y'all. Next, I also want to let you know that no matter how people treat you, you are important (I know that sounds sappy but its true. p.s if there is any way I can contact you I want to ask a few questions about living with DID. hope you have a great day
Arrr I'm so angry for you!! Their behaviour was so fucked up. It's scary to think how many patient's get treated like this, and their family don't know and think they are safe and looked after
I'm in the middle of watching your video on my TV and I had to come here on my phone because I feel the need to comment. I am absolutely disgusted with the way they treated you. Especially about telling you not to sign and that your DID isn't real. That is beyond messed up. And overall it sounds like a horrible place. That is one thing that is so difficult about having DID is that people don't believe you. Because another alter came out the day before and spoke with their audible voice, that automatically means you can talk too. Which is not true. We run into issues like this all the time. A number of us have selective mutism and severe social anxiety whereas others are comfortable speaking and doing certain things. I am angry for how you were treated. And I want to say that I see you, I believe you, and I hear you. Your words in this video are louder than most verbal words are. I want to cry from hearing your story because I can relate. I have been to the psych ward a handful of times for suicidal ideation and attempts. While my experiences overall have been positive, there were definitely some awful times in there too. It should not be this way. They are there to take care of you and nurture you back to health. Not judge, disbelieve and ridicule you. I don't know how long ago this took place or how you feel about this, but much of this is illegal, especially telling you not to use sign. If you want to and feel strong enough to, you can sue them.
Wow. It is such a huuge difference between America and my home country, so this is just.. heartbreaking.. how anyone can treat a mentally ill person like that is just... I have no words 😞 I wish you never had to go to this hospital. They obviously don’t know what they’re doing. And a charger?? Never heard of that, it must be something they use in the States? 😳 the treatment you had there couldn’t have been more wrong 😥 I’m sorry❤️
I'm not sure if you guys read these (or even how exactly you want me to address you, I am sadly a little clueless when it comes to DID and only just started watching these videos) but I hope you never have to go through that again! You're amazing, Makani!
We do read all our comments, it’s just that one alter might not see all of them because different alters check the comments at different times lol. But you can address us as “you guys” like you have, that’s fine. And I’ll screenshot this to make sure your message gets passed on to Makani. - Sawyer
I have a quick question when a new alter gets control of the body do they remember anything like what just happened or who family and friends are to them/you ? And do they know there name straightaway or does it come later ? (I’m quite new to DID so if it’s offensive or taboo to talk about I’m sorry )
Sue them for sure, you have a good case and if you don’t take it to court then it will happen to more people and they may end up killing someone. They may have already, who knows.
Hey makani!:) I just recently came apon your systems channel and was wondering if you would be interested in making a video(s) about how to sign!:) like an introduction or something! I would love to learn!
I am a professional sigh language interpreter and someone with DID so i hope i have an appropriate explanation. If the body is Deaf, they are required by law to provide an interpreter to help communicate. Because the body is not diagnosed as deaf ( even though the alter is mute) then the hospital would not be obligated to provide one. What i don't understand is why they were unwilling to go with paper and pencil because that is considered a reasonable accommodation no matter what part of the hospital you are in.
This truly is terrible and abusive. I have a larger comment in the last video For the no signing thing, the hospital I went to (every place is different) did have a no talking in a foreign language or signing rule Bc they need to know what every patient is talking about. Though, if someone came who didn’t speak English or was mute, an interpreter would come in (someone who only spoke Spanish actually came in and they got an interpreter.) I understand the rule and it does exist but they should have gotten you an interpreter when you needed one. This is truly horrific.
Is there a video about Mutes? I don’t understand why Mutes are Mutes. Makani spoke outloud when told she would be retained for 24 hours, so I’m confused if Mutes can talk, unable to talk, don’t want to talk, have a hard time talking, or other reasons.
You should tell everyone the name of this hospital to warn other young people not to ever admit themselves there. You could help other people by doing that.
As someone who does direct patient care at a mental hospital, I feel so ashamed of those people. My number one priority is to help my kids and be there for them because so often they haven't had anyone on their side. I could never imagine anyone on my team yelling at a kid that they don't have time for them and don't believe them. This just broke my heart. No one deserves to be kicked while they're down. I hope you guys never have to go through something that again.
That's horrifically abusive- restraint as punishment? I'm sorry they treated you that way. I'm so angry this stuff happens. They not only failed in their job to help and protect you, but they caused you harm. That was not your fault. It's brave of you to share this, as I imagine it might've been tough to think and talk about.
Hello - Right. Restraint is only for protection, not for punishment. If used as punishment it is illegal.
This hospital should be CLOSED! They can’t treat anyone in disrespect and violent way, you can tell how ‘professional’ they are. So glad that you got out of this hell.
and please don’t hurt yourself anymore, they are not worth it, and I am here with you when you are depressed and sad. Everyone here would help you go through it.
btw, nice make up, so beautiful
I have DID too and have a mute personality (alter) too, so I can relate, but that's an extremely awful hospital to be in, I'm glad you got out of there :)
such a powerful story, I can't believe these people call themselves medical professionals
Even I don't think I've heard the full story. If I have, it was years ago and not all at once like this. I feel sick. You know I love you, Makani.
I had a similar experience when I was hospitalized, I have BPD and I'm transgender and they punished me for asserting my name and pronouns. And I was constantly told my gender was invalid and fake. You all are not alone in this experience. I am now in college studying to work in psychology to help people never have experiences like this again.
Jack R brilliant. Power to you.
That’s apples and oranges. Of course they have to call you by your LEGAL name. It’s a mental hospital. Can you imagine if everyone tried to make up names to go by? They have to use your legal name, especially if it’s a state run facility. The fact that you even compared your experience of the wrong pronoun being used to what happened to her is crazy.
Same thing happens to me. I’ve been to a mental hospital twice (same one.) Obviously for legal documentation you have to do your legal name but it was always the morning staff would respect my gender and the night staff wouldn’t. I’m currently studying psych too and hoping to do the same thing.
Hello This is not the UK, the is the US, and like Kyle and I, both, already said, legal names must be used in hospitals. When it’s a mental hospital, especially, since a lot of the people were court ordered to be there.
I’m so sorry you had to feel this pain. Let Makani know that she’s a good ASL teacher. I’m learning quickly 💕
Wow, what an incredibly unprofessional facility! It's unbelievably unfair that you had to be treated this way! I can't believe it :o I'm at a loss for words...
I'm so sorry Makani. I'm so angry and hurt on your behalf. How dare they act like that?! It scares me almost as much as it angers me that there are people working in that kind of environment, who are meant to protect and help people, and they just hurt them even more with their ignorance. You did all you could to be heard, thank goodness you were finally able to get out of that hell. Thank you for being strong enough to feel able to share your story. You're valid, you're enough, you always deserve to be heard.
I felt so angry watching this. How do people work on a place that supposed to help and do shit like this. I'm so sorry you had to go through something so horrible Makani
Your treatment was horrific!! I worked for many years at a state mental hospital and this is Unacceptable behavior for a health care professional to treat a patient this way. In the state I live in you CAN NOT restrain a patient for any reason. How terrifying to be threatened in that manner when someone supposed to be helping you. Sending positive healing energy to all of you 💙💙
I just started watching this channel yesterday, because it was recommended due to me binging several DID UA-camrs, and I've already decided that I would protect Makani with my life.
That experience was really messed up. DID is real and yet they broke contracts and laws and treated you with such disrespect! I wish I was there to stand up for you, but I'm glad your other friends did. You are such an inspiration for being so brave to share this to the world, so thank you very much for sharing this experience. I hope you know that each and everyone of you are important and special and vital to this world, and if people don't see that then they don't know what they're missing. Stay strong and thank you again for sharing!
sue them!
that is absolutely disgusting. their job is supposed to be to help people and what they were doing obviously would only make you worse. i'm honestly horrified that they treated you that way, that's one of the cruelest things i've ever heard, completely unprofessional and to be honest just pure evil. i'm so sorry what they did, no one deserves to be treated that way and i hope you're doing okay now. sending all my love
Those things ( I can't call them humains) should get arrested and get their medical licence taking away, no one deserve what they did to you ! And for being a doc you need to go to medical school where they talk about DID, those "medical members" decided they can throw away a mental condition like this, how did they get their licence ?!
Your a brave person and I’m glad you’ve shared your story. Thank you
I’m so sorry. I have a disability that sometimes causes my vocal chords to be too weak to speak but other times I can speak. I have had situations and people who refused to hear me too so I know how powerless and vulnerable it can make you feel, especially when they are hurting you and by not letting you communicate they are not letting you defend or protect yourself either. We also know how hard it is when you are so distraught and then are punished for not being able to just stop being upset in order to comply to what how they think you should be behaving. I have never been in a mental hospital though and can only imagine how terrifying and traumatic being held in a hospital where they are treating you like that must have been. I’m so glad you at least had friends who tried to stand up for you and a good mum to protect you when she found out what was going on at least, but I am so so sorry you had to go through that trauma in a place that was supposed to help you. I can only imagine how much harder it must have made future attempts at treatment/getting help must have become for you all after that.
A charger? What kind of hospital is this? Is this normal? It doesn't seem to. How could this excist in our days?
Just watching this video makes me so uncomfortable and angry kinda , you know these things that happened to you really do get to me .
Thank you for sharing Makani. I am learning more and more that the way we think doctors are (from shows and stuff) is not how they actually are. I'm sick with gastroparesis, and doctors are mean and hurtful. Despite being sick.
I'm so relieved Katie's mom pulled y'all out of there! I hope none of y'all ever experience something like that ever again! This was just awful... it's terrifying to think that people do this, and I'm so sorry that this happened. It must've been difficult, but thank you for sharing your story.
This makes me so mad. I have lots of friends who have gone to mental hospitals and I almost took a few trips there myself before and I hear so many horror stories. There are so many ignorant and harmful staff members who bully and hurt patients and it is so baffling. I'm so sorry you had to go through that Makani and Katie and any other alters that had to go through that.
Wow you are honestly the strongest person I’ve ever seen and I hope no one else go’s through that. You are amazing and need to no that
You guys are so awesome to be sharing your story and also for being comfortable enough to share something like that. It makes me so angry as someone with ptsd that they would yell at you for being upset. I am so glad you got out of there when you did, those are horrible people and it makes me angry to think that they probably still had there jobs after that. Thank you so much for sharing.
It's happy for Makani letting us know one of your traumatic experience although it's really sad to hear that. It's not easy to maintain such system but just want you to know all of you have our support.
This made me so emotional. No one should ever get treated like that.
Wow it's hard to believe that places like this still exist! Thank you for being willing to put yourself out there by telling your story and promoting awareness for mental health and revealing how screwed up the system still is. That aside, I'd really love it if Makani could make a video on some easy ASL. I learned so much just from watching these videos and I've always been interested in it!
Thank you for sharing this Makani. It was horrific that this happened to you and it's telling your story that helps people see that this behavior exists and needs to be stopped. Thank you for being brave and talking about it. I'm so sorry you were treated so terribly.
Oh my goodness I am so glad you’re alright an got out of there, I hope that hospital gets caught an has some people fired..... side note I’ve been binge watching your channel and subscribed, I think it’s fascinating and educational to learn about DID through your eyes and the eyes of your alters
Matt Brown Hi Matt. I too have been binge watching. When you're finished watching Ryland vids I suggest going and watching Jeremy. He has a lot of info and his alters are awesome. I'm curious how to you come along these Vids? Did the Asian girl cone up on your notifications. I think her name is Alex? Let me know.....thanks.
Miss Angie! Miss Angie! Miss Aaaangie! Actually I finished binging last night an found the entropy system an have been binging their videos but I will watch Jeremy’s channel when I am done should be tomorrow sometime, anyway the way I found this was I was watching something on tv that had a DID character and was curious as to what it was really like so I came to youtube and found videos but none were more interesting or informative as this so I starting binging, now I’m binging another DID channel the entropy system but as I said I will check out Jeremy’s channel thank you for telling me about it
Makani you all are so brave! thank you for sharing your story. you all deserve to be heard and believed, and no one deserves to be treated in such traumatizing, disrespectful ways! Especially in a place that is supposed to help you. We are so sorry you had to go through that. Take care, ya'll
Holy crap?! I can’t start to imagine the pain that this caused to everyone that was involved and wouldn’t even wish that on my worst enemies. I feel so sorry and appreciate you sharing this horrible story with us
This was so scary. I’m so sorry that you had to go through this horrible experience. It’s incomprehensible that the people who are supposedly trained to help you can be so ignorant and mean to someone who is begging for help. It makes me very sad that this happened to you. I’m glad your mom got you out. Thank you for sharing this
It's just so terrible to know that you can go somewhere to get help and instead just get traumatised MORE and end up in a worse place than before. So so terrible. So sorry Makani that you had to deal with this kind of ignorance and cruelty :( :(
Thanks for telling your story Makani and I'm so happy you are in a better place now. When did u guys start learning sign language? I taught myself the alphabet and about 100 other words from a book when I was 11. Watching you sign brings a lot of it back for me..👍
that was a really messed up thing they did. no one should ever have to endure that and im sorry they did that to you. at least there was one nurse in that hospital who actually cared enough to listen. you are extremely brave it must have hard to share you story and experience.
Makani, I am so so sorry for what you went through! I spent 5 days in a hospital too and it was an awful experience for me too. I'm tearing up after watching both of these videos. My heart breaks for you and I really am so so sorry for what you went through. I sincerely hope that these people get what they deserve one of these days. Absolutely horrendous treatment!
Hey Makani, we feel so bad that you had to go through this. We love the fact that you communicate via ASL! We have two alters that don't speak and use ASL to communicate. They love watching you sign in videos, it makes them feel good.
Ps. We were actually able to get an interpreter for our therapy sessions.
Hi K. I’m an EMT and work a a detox facility for drugs and alcohol. Many of our patients have mental illnesses anywhere from anxiety, autism and depression to being mute and having DID. This video in particular I believe has helped me understand more so I can effectively treat my patients with mental illness and help them in any way possible. I know coming out with traumatic past is difficult I have some things I’ve seen as an emt to this day that haunt me and won’t talk about. But what you shared is making a difference in my life and others I come in contact with.
I appreciate all of you.
Thank you Makini, you are so brave for sharing this story with us. This is just terrible and I’m so glad your mum got you out of there. I just wish it was sooner...
I'm so sorry you all had to go through that. Just know that we all hear you, we're listening.
This is horrifying. Makani and Katie …. I am sooo sorry how you were treated. Doctors and staff have no right to do what they did to you. They failed in all ways
imaginable. I am glad you told your story and maybe someone seeing this will get something out of it. We all love you and all of your alters too. Lots of love
Very brave of you to tell this story. Thank you ❤
As long as you guys still make these videos, you will always be heard.
Thank you so much for sharing, Makani.
Im so sorry you went through that, it hurts me so much to know others would experience this from those who are supposed to help you when you're already in so much pain.
I've had a few similar experiences in my local hospital with DID and being told to stop lying and even being held in a room against my will with my parents yelling outside, being told by a doctor that I was many horrible things; in the hopes to make me angry and share information.
Im so sorry you went through what you did but again am glad you can share this now.
We are hearing you. These kinds of horrid experiences need to be shared and I'm so proud of you for doing that.
I'm sending you all, all of my love and support, from one system to another. 💕
I can believe as well as simultaneously I cannot believe this abusive, extremely traumatic mistreatment that you experienced. I feel very sorry that you had to go through these unfair and awful experiences during your stay at a place where you are suppose to be receiving care in order to help you get well, not worsen your state. [😣]! I understand receiving mistreatment at a similar hospital stay; however your story really was an "eye opener" as to other experiences that we face. This is a huge case of discrimination. Nobody deserves what you experienced. As far as I am concerned, you deserve compensation. That is the least this particular hospital can do to apologize. I am just curious as to what country was this in? Sending you lots of love, hope and warm wishes, Sheri
We hear you loud and clear makani 💜 You are so amazing and you deserve better in your life than this. x
I can understand you, yes I believe you... I suffer of anxiety and panic attacks and my sister suffered of severe depression with panic attacks (we're both under medication) and the people and some doctors DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS THINGS... sometimes I had to change the dr with I was because they have the "doctor job" but they don't wanna and don't understand this problems they're only work for the money, when something like this is happening you have to speak and if u wanna help keep asking for help and the correct help... came in time... (sorry my english I'm not american) the right doctors? are the ones who are listen to you when you sad when you wanna cry, maybe they don't tell u a word but they are listening, when we have troubles we're not making up...that hospital was not for you (the man was right) big hugs for all of you! I love your youtube channel xoxo
I am so sorry this happened to you!!! That hospital sounds horrible and doesn’t even sound like the “professionals” knew what they were doing. This makes me so mad on your behalf! You are valid. You are important!
I’m so sorry this happened to you. You all didn’t deserve to be treated so cruelly and it’s vile that a mental hospital is allowed to operate like this. I’m glad y’all got out and are doing better. Thank you for sharing, Makani.
This really brings back memories of my hospital visit. It was VERY similar to yours, with the exception, that I finally did lose it, and just accepted I was going to die there. I even went seven days without food, towards the end of my stay. Many similarities in my stay, except I was there for suicide ideation, and drinking in high school. It wasn't until 5 years later, I would learn I have DID. It actually stopped me from seeing a professional for years, for fear this could happen again, and I only decided to get a professional, after my friend accused me of having DID, along with the opinions of several, now well known, youtubers with DID. This sadly happens all too much. Just glad you made it out.
Yup, that is just horrific, I'm so sorry honey :( I'm glad you were able to share with us though. Places like that need to change , that is no way to treat a human being, let alone someone who has gone through the struggles of any mental 'illness' or tbh really ANY life struggle. It's not like people don't take going there seriously. I'm so, so sorry and certainly understand why you had not just one but a few splits from the incident. I thought the doctors creed afterall was "do NO harm". Sigh. Sending you lots of love even though this is after the fact :(
I don't know what words I can add anymore... I'm just crying for people's vulnerability. Why can't I be a God who protects every person and animal on this planet...
I'm so sorry you all had to experience that! I will never understand why people sign onto jobs they're clearly not able to handle. Patient care needs to have higher standards, and the businesses that employ them should give a shit how they operate. I think if more people, are as brave as you all are, we could see a change. And I really hope you all never have to deal with that type of treatment again. 💛
They broke the law, by not obeying that contract they broke the law. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. It sounds horrible and unbelievably painful and traumatic. Hospitals like that are nightmares for a lot of people. That male staff member was the only one that showed the true compassion and commitment it takes to be a doctor, no to be a human. Thank you for speaking out and for telling this story. I know it might sound strange or might be weird hearing it from a complete stranger but you are brave and strong. None of you forget that.
And this story hit hard because similar has happened to me in the past, not in hospital conditions and I don't have DID however I am autistic and people thought I was just being a 'nightmare' and 'attention seeking' as a child in distress and did very nasty things to me which have affected me to the point of a hospital admission due to uncovering the memory of this trauma. Only now has my autism actually been addressed and I'm very grateful as I'm receiving the help I need. Hugs to you guys, you all inspire me a lot 💘
Wow this takes me back to my first experience in a psych ward...or punishment for being sick ward.The trauma of that stay still haunts me.
You are too strong and brave! makani sweet! I love you,hope you all be better.
I’m sorry people suck sometimes. Just hang in there and know your just fine being yourselves. Well wishes
I'll be honest. This story was hard to get through, but I felt it was important to not close the tab. I'm on the autism spectrum and get physically overwhelmed by intense emotions (in this case, empathetic anger), so I had to pause a couple of times, but I had to hear (read?) you out. Thank you for sharing, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I don't understand how they could be so callous as to treat you that way. That's not in any way okay, and they were wrong and unprofessional to disrespect both you as a person and your system in denying your DID. That was both abuse and malpractice, and they have no place being anywhere near the medical field. It's strong of you to survive, and it's strong of you to speak out. I hope you and your fellow alters take care of each other and that you have better external support as well. Stay strong.
Thank you for sharing. This is appalling; it’s a real diagnosis, how can they deny this in 2018???
I’m sorry for this abuse you experienced
This actually happened in 2016 I believe. But still.
I love how you describe all this. It seems like a mirror my experiences in the 1980's.
Then patients at the Dandenong Psychiatric Hospital, Australia, were treated like 'Dreadful Untouchables' by a then mostly ethnic Indian nursing staff.
I was so dehumanised by staff treatment that when a patient (Kevin) entered the rec room clutching his newly slashed throat, I watched as the blood seeped through his fingers and just watched without moving, or seeking help.
You see if I ran to the staff-desk the policy was always to turn their backs on patients and IGNORE all communication.
I was a frequent impatient because I wanted a divorce.
They gave me 'rests' to cure me, despite my many fractured skulls - one of the bashings took years for my skull to refix itself. My head was like a cooked-cracked-egg for 3-years.
But according to the staff "He is such a lovely man, and if you don't stop telling us about this violence you will never see your children again.
I am sorry you went through that but it sounds like psych hospitals haven't changed much.
I'm heartbroken
This is such a painful story, I am so sorry you’ve been through this. I did not think doctors and nurses were still like this in some places. 💔🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I think you should do a voice over with these. I’ll watch either way but part one was a lot easier hearing it too!!! I know some people can’t read or see very well also!
Lastly I’m so sorry you had to go through all this I have a few questions was it mainly one of you that came out at the hospital or did a lot of you? Do the others have a different stories of what happened to them during the time they were out? And how long were you in there for?
We were only there for 3 days. The other alters were out, but only Makani was bullied.
I will voiceover this video when I can, but I’m out of town for Labor Day so it won’t be until I get back.
That’s the most horrifying thing that can happen! I’m so sorry! Makani said she fronted a lot then but I guess the whole time I was wondering why didn’t one of the protectors come out? I was secretly hoping one of them would to give those horrible monsters a piece of their mind.
Excellent vid. Tough story! Wow. Glad you’re all okay. Love from 🇬🇧
Hi Makani,
I had some other thoughts, but what I mainly wanted to say was that your thoughts, feelings and experiences are just as important as anyone else's, and that you have the right to be heard, and that your methods of communication are just as valid. I'm glad you've learnt ASL and now have a better way of expressing yourself, and I hope that you will find people out here who listen to you. You is smart, you is kind, you is important.
I know nothing about DID apart from what I've seen online, but I have at least one friend with a horrific hospital-related experience where the staff really failed her. I'm so sorry you experienced that.
you are so strong sweetie! i love you and you have my respect❤
OMG this makes me so furious!!! I'm so sorry Makani that they treated you like this. I hope you guys reported them or something. I don't understand how ppl can be so cruel.
I hear you. I’m sorry. Glad you are safe.
I've got pretty the same experience I've got forced hospitalization last year, the staff was so cruel to me, I wasn't in the kid section of psychiatry because I was over 16 years old. My "roommates" where two middle aged man, one with alvolism and one with bipolar syndrome. They weren't showers in my room, I must go to the public shower of the service, water was cold. I stayed three days and then I begged my mom to get out of this, this wasn't safe at all, during my stay I never be visited by a psychiatrist. I couldn't go anywhere because all door where locked...
I hope you all feel better now ! Sending you a virtual hug! (Sorry for the kinda shitty English, I'm from Belgium)
The sad part it happens to often I am sorry you too have had a bad experience sooner or later they will wake up to us that have DID and how real it is
Omg.. I still can't believe this is happening in psychiatric hospitals in the 21. century, I can't believe that this is the 'help' you get after you're too fucked up to live without the help. I still can't believe even though I expirienced it. Halllo, we are people too!! The problem is that they're probably not anymore, or better to say, what power makes when it' in wrong hands... you're so brave Makani!
Hi, so I just wanted to say that your channel is amazing and I love watching Y'all. Next, I also want to let you know that no matter how people treat you, you are important (I know that sounds sappy but its true. p.s if there is any way I can contact you I want to ask a few questions about living with DID. hope you have a great day
Our Snapchat is in the description!
Thank you for sharing - we heard you Makani
I'm SO sorry. Those idiots better be glad I wasn't working your floor. I'd have turned everyone of them in.
Thanks a lot for sharing this story.
Arrr I'm so angry for you!!
Their behaviour was so fucked up.
It's scary to think how many patient's get treated like this, and their family don't know and think they are safe and looked after
How horrific 😢 I’m so sorry 💛
" our discord " just kidding you know I love you all ❤😂
You want me to say Jacques’s fan-page for us? 😂
😂😂
@@systemk9488 I mean , who did all the fuckin work 😂😂
@@systemk9488 basically Emma cause lord knows I did EVERYTHING wrong
I’m sad now I watch all ur videos
I'm in the middle of watching your video on my TV and I had to come here on my phone because I feel the need to comment.
I am absolutely disgusted with the way they treated you. Especially about telling you not to sign and that your DID isn't real. That is beyond messed up. And overall it sounds like a horrible place.
That is one thing that is so difficult about having DID is that people don't believe you. Because another alter came out the day before and spoke with their audible voice, that automatically means you can talk too. Which is not true. We run into issues like this all the time. A number of us have selective mutism and severe social anxiety whereas others are comfortable speaking and doing certain things.
I am angry for how you were treated. And I want to say that I see you, I believe you, and I hear you. Your words in this video are louder than most verbal words are. I want to cry from hearing your story because I can relate.
I have been to the psych ward a handful of times for suicidal ideation and attempts. While my experiences overall have been positive, there were definitely some awful times in there too.
It should not be this way. They are there to take care of you and nurture you back to health. Not judge, disbelieve and ridicule you.
I don't know how long ago this took place or how you feel about this, but much of this is illegal, especially telling you not to use sign. If you want to and feel strong enough to, you can sue them.
Just wanted to add that you have a solid case of negligence and descrimination.
Wow. It is such a huuge difference between America and my home country, so this is just.. heartbreaking.. how anyone can treat a mentally ill person like that is just... I have no words 😞 I wish you never had to go to this hospital. They obviously don’t know what they’re doing. And a charger?? Never heard of that, it must be something they use in the States? 😳 the treatment you had there couldn’t have been more wrong 😥 I’m sorry❤️
Medical malpractice lawsuit!!!!! (Scream in rage!!!!)
I'm not sure if you guys read these (or even how exactly you want me to address you, I am sadly a little clueless when it comes to DID and only just started watching these videos) but I hope you never have to go through that again! You're amazing, Makani!
We do read all our comments, it’s just that one alter might not see all of them because different alters check the comments at different times lol. But you can address us as “you guys” like you have, that’s fine. And I’ll screenshot this to make sure your message gets passed on to Makani.
- Sawyer
Thank u sooo much for your story
I have a quick question when a new alter gets control of the body do they remember anything like what just happened or who family and friends are to them/you ? And do they know there name straightaway or does it come later ? (I’m quite new to DID so if it’s offensive or taboo to talk about I’m sorry )
WHAT!!?? Why they even have something like a "charger"? Does that really help? I doesn't sound like it will.
Sue them for sure, you have a good case and if you don’t take it to court then it will happen to more people and they may end up killing someone. They may have already, who knows.
this make me so sad and mad in the same time.
Hey makani!:) I just recently came apon your systems channel and was wondering if you would be interested in making a video(s) about how to sign!:) like an introduction or something! I would love to learn!
I am a professional sigh language interpreter and someone with DID so i hope i have an appropriate explanation. If the body is Deaf, they are required by law to provide an interpreter to help communicate. Because the body is not diagnosed as deaf ( even though the alter is mute) then the hospital would not be obligated to provide one. What i don't understand is why they were unwilling to go with paper and pencil because that is considered a reasonable accommodation no matter what part of the hospital you are in.
This truly is terrible and abusive. I have a larger comment in the last video
For the no signing thing, the hospital I went to (every place is different) did have a no talking in a foreign language or signing rule Bc they need to know what every patient is talking about. Though, if someone came who didn’t speak English or was mute, an interpreter would come in (someone who only spoke Spanish actually came in and they got an interpreter.) I understand the rule and it does exist but they should have gotten you an interpreter when you needed one. This is truly horrific.
Really sucks that you went through that horrible crap😡 So sorry
That sounds absolutely terrible. Jesus. That place needs to be shut down or the doctors and nurses need to be fired, my god.
Is there a video about Mutes? I don’t understand why Mutes are Mutes. Makani spoke outloud when told she would be retained for 24 hours, so I’m confused if Mutes can talk, unable to talk, don’t want to talk, have a hard time talking, or other reasons.
You should tell everyone the name of this hospital to warn other young people not to ever admit themselves there. You could help other people by doing that.
I'm worried about other people who still at that hospital for treatment....