Wow I guess for some people it may seem obvious or fake-deep, but honestly I'd never thought about it like that before. No person or family is the same, but for many this is very true. Thanks for posting this. Hope you and everyone who reads this has a blessed day, and can find a way to reach some peace and clarity in their lives ❤
The woman I love has bpd. I have never once thought her to he bad, evil or anything in between. Shes beautiful. I see the beauty beyond the pain. You love someone that much you fight. I wont give up on her. Never. Anyone with bpd is beautiful.
Yeah. I thought this way... Until I saw the amount of damage she did to our children without remorse. It was always my fault, no matter what, it's somebody else's fault.
bigdogrgr yup. Used to think this too until she kept upping the damage she was doing to me. It’s unfortunate they suffer but you have to look out for yourself too. The abuse they dish out is insane.
@@artw1159 I just got out of a relationship with a BPD, she displayed all the red flags were, constant lying, gas lighting, suicide idealization, intense anger, manipulation. Just now finding out her history and trail of destruction, and even through it all she can smile and claim to be the victim. To anyone dating or in a relationship with a BPD, create boundaries for yourself and emphasize the importance of routine therapy.
No WOR, she has courage for sitting there, and talking about what she's been going through, with clarity and smart analysis. Not everyone can do that. It takes courage to stand in front of the camera and show to the world how much pain you've transcended to become who you are.
I have BPD & this was point on. It’s pure hell & we are so hard to love. There’s two people inside of us fighting non stop it’s pure hell and pain. Self harm is a way of coping for us.
I know, my sister can say she loves herself or likes herself, but yet she puts herself down ... She obviously doesn't love herself. Her actions and what she does to herself speak volumes!!!
I agree. But for me it feels like there’s at least 4 people inside of me. And I can’t show it. So I end up being dissociative a lot. I thought I was sociopathic because I had to fake responses and emotions but I was just dissociating. It is hell.
I don't have BPD, but my mom has it, which is possibly why nearly every women I dated had it. I've tried hard to work things out, but the fate of these relationships are always the same; the first few weeks are blissful. But then a switch is flipped; usually over something most people would consider insignificant. If could be you looked at them suspiciously "funny" or slightly overcooked the streak for dinner. What happens next is hours long circular arguments about how you don't love them and talks of breaking up is brought up; either they threaten to break up or goad you to break up with them. I also had a roommate in college whom I suspected had it. The first semester he was a decent and agreeable person. But the following semester, he became a vindictive demon who threatened to kill me and other roommates multiple times. He threatened to kill me because I accidentally took his apple from the fridge. After I apologized and gave him a replacement apple, he acted as if nothing happened and said it was all good. The other times he made death threats was when another roommate used his grater, asked about when the mountains of trash bags of recyclables was going to be taken out (BPD roommate threatened to beat him on the head with a baseball bat), and other inane stuff. Me and the other roommate thought about calling the police, but we worried about retaliation, so we just spent very little time in the dorm and minimize contact. We became paranoid about him poising our food and even shampoo, so we took steps to ensure that doesn't happen. We made it out alive thank goodness.
Extreme depression, disassociation, self harm; yes. Explode; No. Feeling emotions is too confusing, Foreign & overwhelming for us to maintain awareness of them even in the best of times. When things get really bad, our fight or flight mechanism triggers repression, not expression.
Having BPD is like feeling that you're unable to be in a relationship because EVERYTHING the person does hurt you so much, but also incapable of being alone because it also hurts so much, so it's really a double-edged sword where you can't live, to the point you stop trying.
When she was talking about waking up with thoughts and spending hours going through his social media, to see what pictures he had liked, and doing tests to confirm a thought.. I've never heard someone do the EXACT same as me. It makes me feel sad that someone else goes through it, but comforting.
i felt the same exact way when she said that!! i go through my significant others phone and through her following to make myself upset... i just keep thinking she’ll eventually leave me for someone else. no matter what:(
I also have the diagnosis and it doesnt relate to me. There are over 250 symptom combinations to get a diagnosis so it can still be very individual and it explains why so many of us have variations in experience. However also many of us are misdiagnosed for example for women many have autism that isnt diagnosed and get a PD diagnosis. There is also the move to CPTSD now so its complex
I almost killed my twin sister after she was trashing my meds daily (I have a really bad memory so when I would go take my meds and they were gone I would think I took them already) once I caught her I fucking snapped she had forced me to go through withdrawals from 7 different medications she could’ve fucking killed me and even tho she didn’t I was in so much pain for weeks. Had my baby brother not walked it i have no clue if I would’ve done it. I hate that I tried to. I hate that my mom has to deal with my twin and I she’s bipolar and refuses to take medication and I have BPD she just fucking triggers me every damn day.
Out of all the times I fought with my dad and hit him physically, once I pushed him and thought maybe if he hits his head against the floor he will d word. And I was both scared but willing to do it. It's horrible to go through those violent episodes
I avoid eye contact as well, i think so hard like oh i looked at my therapist for to long or oh im not blinking enough which means she can see me disassociating. Now i gotta blink but not to fast i gotta try an act normal is what im stressed about but i cant rest an in my head i can tell the people im talking to see myself running circles in my head.... It sucks i have major depressive disorder excrutiating anxiety an my doc is 50/50 on whether im bi polar but the not really knowing part drives your illness insane the guessing never stops
Because us BPD folk do a bunch of stupid stuff we aren't proud of, to make eye contact while we talk to someone about it is to own what we've done like we're proud of it. You can notice she doesn't struggle with it as much when discussing general symptoms or things which aren't personal issues or actions.
@@dylanlevy2107 i had to screenshot this!!! I am BPD i think all the time like exactly what you have said. Are my eyes too wide should i blink am i blinking too much?? I know now after DBT that i am at an emotional level of 10. We should never ever go above a 3. I find that its generally fear of abandonment well its always shitty fear. Fear fear fear fear fucking fucking fear!!! I mean i was like it with the fucking kitchen fitters like wtf do i care if they like me or not. But its default mode. I also think its boredom. Were so used to such intensive levels of emotion that a plain old chat well its boring and this makes us feel so isolated like well why cant i just be mundane and boring and fit in. Well i guess that would be way too easy.
This girl is absolutely amazing, clearly, extremely intelligent. I hope she continues to do things in her best interest. She obviously has potential to do great things. She is not responsible for her upbringing and now she has to try and overcome all the horrible things that happened to her. She seems amazingly strong. I wish her all the best.
I think a significant factor is likely to be early infant neglect. Her dad being deported is a trauma, but perhaps not serious enough to produce this level of dysfunction. She says her mother "wasn't raised by her parents and didn't know how to parent". She won't have any clear memory of serious early neglect, only core schema's around abandonment and feelings of fear and rage. DeBellis says that infant neglect is probably even more damaging than childhood abuse, but it's often a hidden trauma. It can be very difficult to treat because there is no narrative memory to process. She is very brave telling her story and I hope she continues to heal.
thas how you develop bpd, through repetitive abuse, verbal, emotional neglect, usually the parents or one parent has narcissism or a personality disorder
For me I think my mum (like me 😋) has BPD. And my dad I'm pretty sure is vulnerable NPD. Which now I can see why I've always been attached to my mom like she's a respirator and I'm on life support! It's like... She *definitely* hurt me. A lot. But she always gave me a ton of love then, and now... She's *definitely* apologized and completely supports me and has been there for me 1000000000%. I don't think I've never heard my dad say "I'm sorry" many times in his life. Much less for any of the abuse. He did, however, once say "Well why don't you go ahead and do it this time around." when I once came to him for help when feeling suicidal. :) Good times. We're better now. An ocean separates us and we can't get too emotionally involved over video calls. Now I just get to enjoy the traits that I do love about him, and never really see any of the abusive ones anymore since going Limited Contact (LC) with him.
@BPD World Oh gosh, I know how intense the diagnosis can be in the very beginning. I hope this diagnosis has proven helpful and led you to find help to be able to cope better and live a more stable and healthy life. ❤️ Likewise I offer myself for support to you as well!
Actually I was diagnosed with BPD after being trafficked as a sex slave to someone when I was homeless on the street. Being raised by a narcissist didn't cause my BPD
Reading through these comments are making me feel horrible to have bpd .... we are not bad or evil people and the way people are describing people in their life (who aren’t even officially diagnosed) as such is sick. Yes we are difficult to have relationships with but we deserve love , family and friendship too. We are not all dangerous and not all of us fit into one exact type either some of us aren’t even violent to others we take it all out on ourselves . There is so much misunderstanding of this illness and I feel as much as this video strives to resolve it people are still making misinformed comments .
Yeah, some of these are pretty extreme. I managed to get to 32 before I was finally diagnosed. A quite a few failed relationships and what not in my life got explanation at that very second. Then again, I've also been married for 5 years, been dating the same woman for well over 10 years now. She is the reason I finally got diagnosed and also the reason why my life is sorted - she just knows how to deal with my issues in a very defusing way. And doesn't seem to be affected by any of it. When questioned why she is still with me even through all the shit, she just shrugs and says she kinda tunes out whenever I am in the "mode" and then deals with me later :D
To know there is a name (BPD) for the reasons we do what we do, gives us identity, which we have lacked our entire lives. We have felt lost for so many years, but now we can gain some sense of direction, understanding and insight on ourselves and that helps to gives us some peace that we have never had in our lives.
Jessica Sullivan thank you!!! My friends always asked why i was so adamant ab finding out if i had it or not. Its bc i just wanted clarity for once. Then i found out i was diagnosed with it long ago and no one told me. Now people wonder why im “obsessed” with bpd when im not i just learn ab it so ik why im doing things and what exactly im doing. I have every single symptom so it effects me 24/7 and i think to get better i have to realize what im doing first to be able to change it
Chris Juliette same!! I got mine last week, and family are saying that I’m “ obsessed”. No! Not at all! Finally understanding,it all makes sense now! And I’m educating myself so when I get into therapy I know exactly what I need to do! I can finally identify with something! Of course we’re going to latch on to it!
Ya label yourself a victim and go on like that if you want. I just think people are built different. The world is very big and most people will die a few kilometers away from where they are born. Thinking they tried everything.
When my psychiatrist diagnosed me she asked me how I feel about the diagnosis, I told her I'm happy because now there's an explanation for all those things happening to me. She said that it's interesting how everyone she diagnosed with BPD said the same thing.
While I was watching this my boyfriend was listening from across the table asking if that she was saying was true and I looked at him with tears in my eyes saying that it's so true that I can't help but get emotion hearing someone else explain exactly how I feel and exactly how I am. So much respect for this woman and how she told her story.
Abuse, neglect, abandonment, the mind games. It's so fucked up how the vulnerable are preyed on by the evils in disguise. My dad was devil in disguise, psychopath, behind closed doors. My heart goes out to all sufferers of trauma.
With BPD, it always waiting for the people who tell u they love you to leave. Because that's all you've known. People leave. There is no small fight. A simple disagreement feels like the other person hates you now. It's awful So are you testing people? Or just pushing them away because you think you dont want to delay the inevitable.
@Grace VC Great question, I can't speak for everyone but a lot of people who develop BPD get it bc they have a lot of childhood trauma, most of the time it comes from a unstable and chaotic home life. The people that are supposed to love you and be there no matter what, especially in ur childhood, just doing follow through. The bonds we form with our parents/guardians are very flawed. A lot of times we have go take on parental rolls to the parents and/or siblings. Home never felt safe. We see people saying 'I love you' but their actions show verbal/mental and physical abuse and most of the time are in and out of the kids life. We learn at such a pivotal stage in our life that people leave. We feel the smallest arguement isnt just a arguement.. now that person must hate us. I hope that helps.
@Grace VC BPD is a personality disorder, so medicine can only help so much. So, a lot of it is talk based therapy. We didn't learn self worth, value or self esteem when it counted the most. So now, at 30... when I feel those crazy irrational thoughts coming up... I just disengage from the conversation and bring myself back down to reality. It is a little like having OCD. When we arnt having an "episode" we know it isnt rational, we know its fear based. But when it takes over... there is no rational thinking. I firmly believe I looked for chaos and kept it going because that felt normal to me. My house had constant, daily fighting... so when things are calm, its like I am waiting for it to come. Sometimes, it's about controlling the issue, because it's all we have to control. BPD takes a lot of work to get to a rational place.
Grace VCy psychiatrists diagnosed me with BPD, Idk about everyone else like me, but for me it started when my mom( emotional support) died and my verbally and physically abusive alcoholic father got angry he was stuck with 2 kids. I’ve I’ve learn to numb feelings for so long )18 years before I got help, I’m 27 now). I’ve always longed for that approval of a parent. I would see all my friends have it. I would be envious. As for the abandonment thing I assume it comes from me being extremely attached to my mom and when she died, so did all the love I got. So I’ve always feared that happening from people who I care about so I’ve just became self destructive and end relationships before someone can hurt me. It’s mostly in my head but that’s been MY PERSONAL perception the last 18years of my life. There’s nothing like your father abusing a child then giving him a hug the day to confuse the boy.
We could be bpd twins.... This has been like watching an interview of myself... The struggle is real....i applaud her for doing this interview...thank you both
Mizz Morphine and so do I! I’ve just recently discovered that I have borderline personality disorder and at the same time that I’m so scared I’m so relieved that I know what I have and that I’m not the demon that Ive heard all my life and thought I was. Let’s fight this! We deserve a better life! Love to u! 🖤
@@nn_1298 yes! Im with you gurl... Same here! I too recently learned i had this and where as i was like, ugh... I have a mental disorder (nvr thought i could b effected.. Pfft dumb to think that lol) at the same time i felt a sense of relief or calm so to speak.. And that proactively we can get better... Yes, we will still have issues but we can greatly minimize our disorder n not let it define us or control us or our relationships.. Life etc....if we work at it... Knowledge and acceptance is the first step for sure... I also carry narccassistic traits... Boooooo..... But im wrking on that too.....i was afraid to speak up bcuz of the stigma related to mental illness but we are all damaged n crazy in one way and to one degree or another.... Ik something wasnt right..ik i was crazy but now i kno what type of crazy i am...that it has a name to me now.... I can deal with this flavor of crazy....im feeling more empowered to deal knowing more about it and recognizing my triggers and communicating it with my fiance who has and is being very supportive... Another important thing... Support system and educating ourselves n friends n family....ive been reading everything on it and self examining and im realizing its been there all along its just made itself manifest over the past yr more so than before....we all have our demons....we jus need kindness and patience without judgement towards one another n this earth would be a more tolerable place.... We do deserve better and we can have better if we work at it.. Fortunately studies and treatment options have gotten better for those with bpd as well as other "disorders" blah wish they could switch up the lingo...no wonder the stigmatization is so bad it immediately labels "us" as if to say broken beyond or to no repair...yes we are "broken" but doesnt mean we cant b fixed and still used and serve a purpose or have purpose still and thrive with proper support n treatment and love....we all as a whole need this and should be doing this for one another... Though its not gunna happen as a "whole" keep around ones that will....much love to you as well🖤
@@nn_1298 also... Ive been listening to and watching Dr. Daniel Fox on here as well when im running around doing house wrk in such... His speciality is in this area bpd and wow! Such great stuff... I highly reccomend watching his videos.. Not endorsing but he realli is insightful on this condition...i wish he lived in my area cuz i would do my therapy with him.. Amazed at his knowledge of it..jys a Fyi 😊
Pshffft.... Lol... Wow like to say ik i was crazy but didnt ever think i would b or was effected by some kind of or multiple "disorders" is like... Crazy! I fir rlz LOL'd that um was sooooo delusional 😶
I personally really think this disorder is completely caused by environmental factors and childhood abuse. But I can only make such an assumption based on my own experiences.
Mine is genetics and environmental. We're not emotionally developed. I've been a highly sensitive person since day 1 and felt emotions really deeply. With the disorder our pain is described to being equivalent to 3rd degree burns. Emotions are extremely intense.
This was really raw, very interesting and she explains it really clearly for someone who doesn't know anything about it to actually better understand her situation
Thank you for this video. My girlfriend of 10 years has bpd and is in therapy since 3 years. I was a hell of a ride to get there. But therapy improved her and my life so much. So if you are affected by a mental illness don't be afraid to ask for help.
this gives me hope that i really needed today..thank you!! gf with bpd here. 4 years for us & ongoing. i finally got accepted into therapy a little over 6 months ago. i hope i can say this 1 day, too
It makes perfect sense that you keep going back to the parent that abused you because they did show love once in a while. They taught you that is how love is shown and that its ok to be abusive as long as you give affection once in a while. The only reason they tend to do that is out of guilt. But as a child you are so starved for love, that you take it. You don't even know it's wrong. That completely follows you into your adult relationships, not only romantic but friendships. It keeps the cycle going that abuse is connected to love. It's what you were taught.
My mother would show "affection" only when I was ill. I guess during those times she could not simply keep on abusing me and had to nurse be back to health. Those were the times she displayed "love". Actually, she told me if she was such a bad mother she would not treat me when sick, or take me to hospital during my asthma flares...Well, if she didn't do that and i ended up dying or even more ill she would likely to have problems with social services. So, basically , she did the best she could because she provided shelter, food and clean clothes (2nd, 3rd handed or from street market) and didn't let me die. Pretty much provided prison like services and for that we (daughters) should "wash her feet" upon her arrival. I never understood the "washing feet" thing, I would be like why would she just wash her feet? why do not take a full shower? And why does she need someone to wash her feet, like she can do it herself. Now I understand she saw herself as some sort of master and we should, as inferior beings, should "bow down" to her and admire her and be grateful.jeeeeez
Honestly, I applaud this girl for talking about her struggles. I am diagnosed with BPD, its not easy living with it. I can see the shame and the pain in her eyes. Girl, you are loved and there is nothing wrong with you. All of us who have BPD, are with you and understand you. ❤
What this woman said hit me right in the feels. She could be me. I could be her. As a person with BPD, I struggle with wanting to die and yet wanting to be alive at the same time, hence the self-injuring. For me, it's both a sense of relief and a form of self-punishment.
"Ya He hit me yesterday but he really loves me he gave me a hug today.." Damn that hurt my soul my dad wasnt really abusive it was more mentally . constantly put me down shut down my happiness and accomplishments but like she said the moment you get a slight sense of love even a hug which is so normal to other was so rare for us ..
Everything she says I relate to so much. Bpd is the worst thing ever. I have resigned myself to be alone because it hurts so much to see those triggers everywhere. And it's not just defending your relationship it's like your constantly on guard and anytime a trigger happens you are in IMMENSE pain and you hurt so much and the feelings are incredibly real. That's the worst part you feel sad, worthless , betrayed and until your romantic partner says the exact right thing to comfort you it won't go away OR they have to lie to you if they were looking or doing whatever hurt you. Otherwise you are just continually tormented. And in the end they always leave.
watching these kinds of documentaries really help me identify things within myself. im 15 and was diagnosed with BPD when i was 14. i have been in residential treatment centers and secure treatment and i just got released from a locked facility a month ago. i am really hoping this time, i can recover without relapse. i have a number of diagnosies but BPD is my main one. thank you for making this. i really value these.
What A raw, insightful and articulate appraisal of this horrendous condition...As A middle age (Bpd survivor) man, I salute your honesty and wish your video reaches out if only to let other BPD sufferers they are not alone Many thanks from Scotland
It becomes emotionally draining the feelings of rejection and abandonment. Life doesn’t afford you constructive criticism so you’re often left to your own devices, trying to make sense of what went wrong. There’s only one constant with my failures, me. Everyone who ever decided to move on don’t really say goodbye or hit you up randomly. One day the calls, texts or any communication just stop. I had people who I thought were my friends just one day block me on all SM sites. No explanation or triggers that I know out of the blue. It’s demoralizing. It feels like worse than death, because it’s one thing if you can’t control something like death, but it’s quite different when there are those going out of their way just to avoid you. I made several attempts to just detach myself so I don’t put myself in these spots again, but it’s really a facade. I don’t expect any one to stick around anymore or care. Everyone moves on and you find out how inconsequential you really are in life. The only way to keep that off my mind into dwelling on suicidal thoughts is to keep busy with activity. As long as I can be task-oriented, I don’t have to be reminded of my own insecurities when others enjoying success financially, socially and biologically. Hope for some random change in my life is me begging God not for me to die alone and destitute. Blind faith means nothing without results. All the times I prayed, I feel like an old dog at a pound I’m it’s final days at a kill shelter.
Tom if you feel that way its time to seek help in all the right places. Get methylation tests for your biochemistry, get an immune inflammation panel and if confirmed that you have BPD, get Dialectical behavior therapy.
Recently diagnosed with bpd. Drug use, self harm and disassociation is so hard to concur. Abuse seems to be so common in my experience and others with bpd I’ve met. We are survivors. Each and every day is a fight. We use so much energy just existing. Sending love and health to each and everyone of you. 🖤🖤🖤
I’m 7 minutes in and this is the most accurate example of how I feel. I wasn’t diagnosed with BPD. I was 16-17 the first time I heard about it and thought “oh it sounds a lot like me” but forgot about it and moved on. I’m 25 now and watching this. Everyone thought I was a teenager and i will grow out of it... I didn’t.. I have visible scars and a big cut on my wrist of my attempt. If I feel harming myself I scratch or hit myself, so I don’t feel embarrassed people will notice
Being diagnosed with BPD and PTSD at 13 years old. And not dealing with and seeking out drugs instead this really spoke to me. Thank you for creating this. I've been clean for 1 year. And it's been harder due to mental health. And it's hard to admit these things even to myself. This girl is strong to do this interview. This definitely takes self discovery and courage.
This girls honesty is absolutely beautiful. I am struggling, so many people believe that my mask is me that I don't feel like I can ever deal with all of these emotions and horrible thoughts I have every single day. The amount of times I have reached out and been called an attention seeker is so saddening. I tried to talk to my mum about the eating disorder that's evolving because of the stress that I feel, she said I should "just eat". Her words when I have a panic attack are "just calm down". I love her more that I could say, but I feel like I have absolutely nowhere to go.
Oh my god! Lots of tears....so authentic.....m borderline I know all this pain....love to both of n all those who made this film.....such a good job...the guy interviewing is adorable .....love n light to both of you
Her story and childhood is the exact same as mine. Parents were drug addicts, dad left us in a house w no lights or food. Moved away w mom and grandma and little brother. Mom left us with family members. Witnessed her almost get killed by an abusive boyfriend. I always knew something wasnt right and I always wanted to be "normal". I was molested at 10-11 by an family member, was a difficult teen barely graduated. Had been drugged and raped. I was the "fun girl". By 12th grade I tried every drug and was so premiscuous. My ex husband was 18 and I was 15. He was my drug dealer.. it took me till I was 30 to wake up out of the funk . I'm still trying to figure it out. But I'm so happy to hear it's not just me not really happy cause I don't wish this on anyone but I didnt think anyone would understand me or whyi was the way I was. Thank you for this. I now know I have the same mental illness. I pray she gets better as do I. I love how she said, you have this natural instinct to love your parents no matter how fucked up they are. I have the same issue with my dad. I love him so much. I just wanted and needed him so bad. I was so scared I just need my dad.
Crystal Becerra Hey Crystal, I just wanted to say my mother has an extremely similar story (to yours), and also has done battle with BPD. Our relationship was chaotic throughout my childhood, aggravated by the divorce she went through with my dad. However we truly bonded when I had my daughter with a not-nice guy at 19, and I started to understand some of the things she went through. We couldn't be any closer now (I'm 29). Sorry to give you so much background but the point I wanted to make is that she struggled HARD with BPD, but came through it and is doing so great now. Although you have struggled, and may still be, I believe with all my heart that healing will come with your determination. I have the greatest respect for people who have lived through what you have, and are still fighting for the peace, love, and happiness they deserve. Wishing you the absolute best ❤
@@lookingforsanjunipero4542 thank you so much that really touched my heart and made me feel better. Some days are good and some like today are bad. When the memories come back I revert. I'm still learning how to cope and handle it all. My fiance tells me, I never met someone who's s so mentally strong. I told him, with the help of God and people like him and you, it helps tremendously. Thank you for sharing your story. You're God sent for sure. 💖
Crystal Becerra, I can also relate so much to your story. I struggeled hard with a mom that didnt care for me and a very abusive stepdad, to whom i luckily have no contact at all, for almost 14 years. And still I am haunted. I very much adivse you to do as many therapy, as you can, if you have the support, security and love, that you need, to let everything out, to get to know yourself and the neglected child within yourself. Healing can take place! But you have to keep on fighting. I wish all the best for you.
@@Careeeeen1 thank you so much for the encouragement. Every day is a battle I fight within myself. To finally love who I am and the neglected child I was. I wouldn't be the strong willed person I am today. God puts us through things he knows we can handle. I'm just lucky to be alive and healthy. Never got pregnant or any STDs or diseases or illnesses. Other than the BPD. I've learned to cope and manage my depression. Like I said it's a daily battle buy with God anything is possible to overcome. Thank you and I wish you the best as well
Ann, I’m so immensely proud of you. I also suffer from BPD and PTSD and dealt with emotionally unsupportive parents and a history of sexual abuse and some questions were too much for me to listen to, my own memories would flood back. I’m so sorry about all that you went through but I’m so glad that you’re getting help and doing better. You are not “her”, you’re a strong and kindhearted person who is worthy of love and a good life. Nav, although this interview was slightly triggering, I’m so thankful that you did it and shared it with us. It truly means a lot that you are sharing information about this disorder especially with someone’s personal experience.
Bless her and her son, I admire her for being so brave and above all for sharing her story, something that is far from easy. Thank you for this interview, both of you.
This woman is me. I do/have done most of these things. The pure feeling of hate towards the person you love when you feel they've disappointed or failed you in some minor way. The testing the boyfriend to see if he looks at other women. Purposely looking for potential threats to your relationship. Cant abide criticism. Extreme jealousy. And much much more. I can relate. Sadly
5:45 tears 😭 that’s me. I hate her I ask her to stop. My name is Rachel my husband says when I’m in that state I’m Rach... it’s like I’m a whole different person and I hate it. I feel so much shame and I want to love myself and stop testing my family. My mother abandoned me at age 7 and my whole life I’ve tried to just cling to her and in the end it hurt me more. My dad never showed love. I’m a mess but I’ll never give up. I only want to be Rachel not Rach
I had a bad episode yesterday. I found out my boyfriend liked a girls picture. I got so angry and full of rage and went to the garage sat in the dark and started punching his tire. Now my nuckles are sore. I feel like I wanted to feel the pain.
Wow this poor girl endured so much . She’s very brave and her authenticity to share her story has probably helped so many as a result of her not being ashamed to speak her truth .
Hot tip to the interviewer - If someone tells you they've been sexually assaulted or abused in any way, a really good response to lead with would be, "I am sorry that you experienced that. You did not deserve that.' .... 'Wow' -- and then moving on to the next question --- .... not the best buddy.
Being from near spruce grove and having bpd, this interview is so personal and educational. I am so grateful for her open honesty and your pointed and exact questions. Very well executed, respectful, and again, educational. Thank you for pressing awareness about bpd and resultant behaviors.
i love how honest she is, it takes a lot of courage to admit things that are hard to admit. i hope the best for her, i struggle with it too and this gives me a lot of hope.
I had BPD young and grew out of the criteria. I was one of the lucky few. For both the person with it and the people around them, I don't wish BPD on anyone. Still, please don't end your life over it. Everyone is valuable.
It's a shame how very few people are aware of Borderline Personality Disorder. People tend to just write them off as crazy and unstable and cut them out of their lives. I wish there were more awareness and treatment options available for it. Someone without it will think, "Just snap out of it, stop being so emo.!" But imagine if your partner put the toilet paper the wrong way. Instead of feeling mild irritation, you feel the type of rage you'd feel if someone kicked your dog or messed with your child. Imagine feeling such rage over small things constantly. On the flip side, imagine instead of having some feelings for someone you met who you feel some chemistry with, you feel pure blissful euphoria. Now imagine how you'd behave with such incredible intense emotional reactions. That my friends is what having BPD is like. It's not something one can just snap out of.
I mean not to invalidate your experience but even I with BPD if the house is extremely unorganized that’s a good reason to get irritated but toilet paper being on another side? Ehh sounds like anxiety or OCPD tendencies to me
I just had a young woman stay at my home for four months. I've experienced mental issues, depression and anxiety, and spent a short time in a psychiatric unit, but I've never seen anything like B. P. D. She gave it her best shot but it spiralled over the three weeks before Christmas and she decided to leave as it was becoming untenable for her to stay. I can't see a way out for her, mental health provisions in the UK are next to useless. You don't need help a week on Thursday, if you are having a crisis the you need help NOW. This episode has really effected me negatively, it's like despondency by proxy due to the futility of her situation.
I love this young woman’s strength and courage. She has the potential to help be a voice or advocate for people struggling with these issues. Especially younger children
I have been diagnosed with ptsd and have been told by two therapists that I have traits of bpd but am not full blown bpd….but I always felt I had it because I’ve known for a while that something was wrong and the first time I ever read about bpd, it explained a lot about my feelings and actions. This video, her examples, solidify and confirm so much of my life and the bpd “trait” diagnoses.
When she talked about the dissociation I really felt that. I've tried explaining that part of bpd to my husband but he says it's an excuse. It's hard so hard. I feel so angery and it's like I turn off or float away n go into self destruction. My marriage is in crisis and I'm so overwhelmed I can't even seek treatment. Just when I work up the courage to look into provider I get super overwhelmed with how other will see me as crazy and unworthy of love. It's so exhausting.
Very insightful. I truly enjoyed hearing her testimony. I also suffer from living with BPD, CPTSD, ANXIETY, INSOMNIA ETC... I was misdiagnosed for 12 years because Psychiatrists claimed I was exhibiting Bipolar symptoms. I think this lady is amazing for talking about her personal experiences. Thank-you.
So brave. She has given such insight into a disorder that devastates lives. She is beautiful and brilliant and I pray she continues to heal. I am also a survivor of abuse and on the BPD spectrum. 🙏🏼💜
I'm always panicky about my wife leaving me but I know it's my bpd messing with my head .I try to meditate and try to calm my self before I start feeling suicidal. Trying to comunicate how I feel is so hard it's like there never understand.what pain I'm feeling. It's can be horrible. Feeling lost in a dangerous world.Thats how it feels for me .but I have to keep going for my family
I'm struggling to keep my relationship together all because I can't handle my actions because I have BPD :( I get triggered by the littlest things and sometimes he doesn't understand I can't handle things very well.
She is incredibly brave and a survivor. An inspiration to others with BPD who feel like they will never get better. All of what she’s been through and look at her today! Amazing transformation.
It's so hard watching yourself hurt the people you love It makes you want to kill the meaness It's so so hard to not want to hurt the person that hurts the people you love And That is You
This seems like a challenging disorder to live with. I really respect her sharing. There are effective and compassionate therapies out there for people who have BPD.
She's down to earth and relatable and brave af for doing this. Beautiful girl with a lot of pain in her life. She reminds me of myself. Started bawling at the part where she describes dissociated rage. It's terrifying to feel like two people at once. It is an illness.
The INNER VOICE IS SUCH A HUGE PART FOR ME!! my constant beehive of thought stings me constantly 24/7. Those emotions are so intense even tho I’m a quiet borderline
i do not have BPD but both me and my therapist agree that i have the symptoms im just not old enough for a diagnosis, however i want to thank both people in this video because i felt so understood while watching it.
Thanks very much for sharing! I was recently diagnosed with BPD and it turned out that I probably had it since teenage. I can confirm that a lot of it is related to childhood, especially if u had some relatives with mental issues. For me BPD is feeling empty and bored, depressed and anxious. I also have derealization/depersonalization episodes. Self-hurting and being irrationally angry is also a part of it, but not as big as feeling numb for me. My therapists helps me to accept myself. Most of all I can relate to suicidal thoughts because there are episodes when u feel like u can't stand it anymore and nothing seems to be helping. When I have "good" days, music and weed seem to make it much easier. Art is a good therapy that can really keep u distracted and sometimes u can even forget that u are diagnosed. Again, thanks for sharing. Wishing all the best to the team and the girl. Hope she is ok by now.
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my UA-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
I was very confused researching this topic, as I just didn't understand it at all. Your explanation was very easy to understand. I have been sober from any mind-altering for 19 months. Although the 19 months is from alcohol, drugs for 10 years now. Since counselling started its been identified that I am on the Autisic Spectrum. Always awaiting assessments for BPD and DiD. Your share was inspirational, as I would not put myself in social media presence, However, I identified a lot with your share. Keep being awesome
This really hit home. When that other side takes over I don't feel any remorse or fear. I've never understood why I've done the things I've done. I feel the pain from my past. I was diagnosed back in 8th grade.
My dad was the same way to me. The pain never goes away. There’s not a day that goes by that i don’t think about the abuse. I still love my parents.. I worry so much about them. But I’m always the one chasing their love like she said in the video. It hurts so much to live
I wanna say i appreciate you a lot, i have BPD and my wife is my best friend and im so grateful she never left me..... its really hard but not impossible to deal with your a trained survivalist look at it that way you know to raise your sun and teach him right thats a gift alone.....
"Deep into the darkness peering long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." Edgar Allan Poe.
Oh my God! Listening to her it’s like I’m listening to myself.. 🥺😭😭😭what she had experienced is what exactly I have experienced too in my younger days. What makes me sad is I know I can be loving but because even in a little things it can triggers me to uplift my mood swings, it’s hard for every guy to be with me in a relationship long time.
I had a friend that has bpd and everything was a test. She would test situations with her boyfriend and i too, it was so stressful. I'm a mellow, relaxed person so she could never get a reaction from me and that got her livid. I removed myself. I hope the best for her.
a child that's being abused by it's parents doesn't stop loving it's parents, it stops loving itself
Grace May wow deep
I just broke down crying after I read your comment. I’m still bawling as I write this comment. It’s so true..
Wow I guess for some people it may seem obvious or fake-deep, but honestly I'd never thought about it like that before. No person or family is the same, but for many this is very true. Thanks for posting this.
Hope you and everyone who reads this has a blessed day, and can find a way to reach some peace and clarity in their lives ❤
This sentence has touched me deeply.. it's def true..:(
I had it easy, I was told I was ugly, fat, no one would ever love me and that I'd die alone lol wild times...
Several men have told me “You’re so easy to fall in love with, but impossible to continue loving”. Heartbreaking.
So relatable:)
:(
I'm so sad.😞I will never keep love.
Yup
Me
"I feel psychotic explaining this now"
Like omg literally every time I'm done with an episode.
The woman I love has bpd. I have never once thought her to he bad, evil or anything in between. Shes beautiful. I see the beauty beyond the pain. You love someone that much you fight. I wont give up on her. Never. Anyone with bpd is beautiful.
Yeah. I thought this way... Until I saw the amount of damage she did to our children without remorse. It was always my fault, no matter what, it's somebody else's fault.
She is lucky to have you
bigdogrgr yup. Used to think this too until she kept upping the damage she was doing to me. It’s unfortunate they suffer but you have to look out for yourself too. The abuse they dish out is insane.
People like you are real??? :( 💓 lol Someday... I'm happy that you 2 are happy and love each other. That is so beautiful, and rare.
@@artw1159 I just got out of a relationship with a BPD, she displayed all the red flags were, constant lying, gas lighting, suicide idealization, intense anger, manipulation. Just now finding out her history and trail of destruction, and even through it all she can smile and claim to be the victim.
To anyone dating or in a relationship with a BPD, create boundaries for yourself and emphasize the importance of routine therapy.
I very much appreciate her transparency and wonder if she realizes just how much courage she has.
Jen Campbell Courage for being a crazy nut job? You SJWs will never learn until one of these circus freaks ruins your life!
No WOR, she has courage for sitting there, and talking about what she's been going through, with clarity and smart analysis. Not everyone can do that. It takes courage to stand in front of the camera and show to the world how much pain you've transcended to become who you are.
@@SublimeLullaby I upvoted. That was actually a well thought response. Kind of refreshing to see that on UA-cam - thank you!
@@_WOR Do you have bpd yourself? cause it seemed like your comment was looking for a certain reaction or validation
@@ozzietv3044 Hey watch it!
I have BPD & this was point on. It’s pure hell & we are so hard to love. There’s two people inside of us fighting non stop it’s pure hell and pain. Self harm is a way of coping for us.
I know, my sister can say she loves herself or likes herself, but yet she puts herself down ... She obviously doesn't love herself. Her actions and what she does to herself speak volumes!!!
I have BPD and PTSD inside of me there are 2 voices constantly at me and talking about me self harm for me is my way of coping
I agree. But for me it feels like there’s at least 4 people inside of me. And I can’t show it. So I end up being dissociative a lot. I thought I was sociopathic because I had to fake responses and emotions but I was just dissociating. It is hell.
I don't have BPD, but my mom has it, which is possibly why nearly every women I dated had it. I've tried hard to work things out, but the fate of these relationships are always the same; the first few weeks are blissful. But then a switch is flipped; usually over something most people would consider insignificant. If could be you looked at them suspiciously "funny" or slightly overcooked the streak for dinner. What happens next is hours long circular arguments about how you don't love them and talks of breaking up is brought up; either they threaten to break up or goad you to break up with them.
I also had a roommate in college whom I suspected had it. The first semester he was a decent and agreeable person. But the following semester, he became a vindictive demon who threatened to kill me and other roommates multiple times. He threatened to kill me because I accidentally took his apple from the fridge. After I apologized and gave him a replacement apple, he acted as if nothing happened and said it was all good. The other times he made death threats was when another roommate used his grater, asked about when the mountains of trash bags of recyclables was going to be taken out (BPD roommate threatened to beat him on the head with a baseball bat), and other inane stuff. Me and the other roommate thought about calling the police, but we worried about retaliation, so we just spent very little time in the dorm and minimize contact. We became paranoid about him poising our food and even shampoo, so we took steps to ensure that doesn't happen. We made it out alive thank goodness.
There is also quiet bpd people who turn their emotions inward and sit in their self loathing till they literally explode psychotically
That’s my subtype
I have more quiet bpd (i would say 80% of the time) and its awful
@@Lea1999888 instead of exploding you implode and its absolutely awful.
Extreme depression, disassociation, self harm; yes. Explode; No. Feeling emotions is too confusing, Foreign & overwhelming for us to maintain awareness of them even in the best of times. When things get really bad, our fight or flight mechanism triggers repression, not expression.
@@melm295 damn. This was such a personal attack but it describes it perfectly
Having BPD is like feeling that you're unable to be in a relationship because EVERYTHING the person does hurt you so much, but also incapable of being alone because it also hurts so much, so it's really a double-edged sword where you can't live, to the point you stop trying.
💯
When she was talking about waking up with thoughts and spending hours going through his social media, to see what pictures he had liked, and doing tests to confirm a thought.. I've never heard someone do the EXACT same as me. It makes me feel sad that someone else goes through it, but comforting.
i felt the same exact way when she said that!! i go through my significant others phone and through her following to make myself upset... i just keep thinking she’ll eventually leave me for someone else. no matter what:(
I quit social media and my life has CHANGED
That's a social media sickness, has nothing to do with BPD lol
@@Mariana-gg5lf how did you quit? I tried and its actually soooooooo hard..
@@dixienormous6969 it is. lots of meds, therapy sessions and mainly the feeling of life wasted..
You know you have BPD when you're listening to her scissor story without being shocked. In fact it seems like something I'd do
I also have the diagnosis and it doesnt relate to me. There are over 250 symptom combinations to get a diagnosis so it can still be very individual and it explains why so many of us have variations in experience.
However also many of us are misdiagnosed for example for women many have autism that isnt diagnosed and get a PD diagnosis. There is also the move to CPTSD now so its complex
I can relate 100% ! When I get angry it’s like I don’t know my limits
I almost killed my twin sister after she was trashing my meds daily (I have a really bad memory so when I would go take my meds and they were gone I would think I took them already) once I caught her I fucking snapped she had forced me to go through withdrawals from 7 different medications she could’ve fucking killed me and even tho she didn’t I was in so much pain for weeks. Had my baby brother not walked it i have no clue if I would’ve done it. I hate that I tried to. I hate that my mom has to deal with my twin and I she’s bipolar and refuses to take medication and I have BPD she just fucking triggers me every damn day.
Out of all the times I fought with my dad and hit him physically, once I pushed him and thought maybe if he hits his head against the floor he will d word. And I was both scared but willing to do it. It's horrible to go through those violent episodes
Same tbh I stabbed a lot of people before but I don't think it's BPD
She struggles with eye contact...I relate...she seems evasive but she just can't do eye contact
It's hard to talk about painful things. I took her sideways gaze as her looking off and remembering the pain and trauma.
Arie Nightmoon Yep...pain, trauma and feeling ashamed. It’s horrible.
I avoid eye contact as well, i think so hard like oh i looked at my therapist for to long or oh im not blinking enough which means she can see me disassociating. Now i gotta blink but not to fast i gotta try an act normal is what im stressed about but i cant rest an in my head i can tell the people im talking to see myself running circles in my head.... It sucks i have major depressive disorder excrutiating anxiety an my doc is 50/50 on whether im bi polar but the not really knowing part drives your illness insane the guessing never stops
Because us BPD folk do a bunch of stupid stuff we aren't proud of, to make eye contact while we talk to someone about it is to own what we've done like we're proud of it. You can notice she doesn't struggle with it as much when discussing general symptoms or things which aren't personal issues or actions.
@@dylanlevy2107 i had to screenshot this!!! I am BPD i think all the time like exactly what you have said. Are my eyes too wide should i blink am i blinking too much?? I know now after DBT that i am at an emotional level of 10. We should never ever go above a 3. I find that its generally fear of abandonment well its always shitty fear. Fear fear fear fear fucking fucking fear!!! I mean i was like it with the fucking kitchen fitters like wtf do i care if they like me or not. But its default mode. I also think its boredom. Were so used to such intensive levels of emotion that a plain old chat well its boring and this makes us feel so isolated like well why cant i just be mundane and boring and fit in. Well i guess that would be way too easy.
This girl is absolutely amazing, clearly, extremely intelligent. I hope she continues to do things in her best interest. She obviously has potential to do great things. She is not responsible for her upbringing and now she has to try and overcome all the horrible things that happened to her. She seems amazingly strong. I wish her all the best.
I think a significant factor is likely to be early infant neglect. Her dad being deported is a trauma, but perhaps not serious enough to produce this level of dysfunction. She says her mother "wasn't raised by her parents and didn't know how to parent". She won't have any clear memory of serious early neglect, only core schema's around abandonment and feelings of fear and rage. DeBellis says that infant neglect is probably even more damaging than childhood abuse, but it's often a hidden trauma. It can be very difficult to treat because there is no narrative memory to process. She is very brave telling her story and I hope she continues to heal.
thas how you develop bpd, through repetitive abuse, verbal, emotional neglect, usually the parents or one parent has narcissism or a personality disorder
For me I think my mum (like me 😋) has BPD. And my dad I'm pretty sure is vulnerable NPD. Which now I can see why I've always been attached to my mom like she's a respirator and I'm on life support! It's like... She *definitely* hurt me. A lot. But she always gave me a ton of love then, and now... She's *definitely* apologized and completely supports me and has been there for me 1000000000%. I don't think I've never heard my dad say "I'm sorry" many times in his life. Much less for any of the abuse. He did, however, once say "Well why don't you go ahead and do it this time around." when I once came to him for help when feeling suicidal. :) Good times.
We're better now. An ocean separates us and we can't get too emotionally involved over video calls. Now I just get to enjoy the traits that I do love about him, and never really see any of the abusive ones anymore since going Limited Contact (LC) with him.
@BPD World Oh gosh, I know how intense the diagnosis can be in the very beginning. I hope this diagnosis has proven helpful and led you to find help to be able to cope better and live a more stable and healthy life. ❤️ Likewise I offer myself for support to you as well!
Bingo. Narcissists, other borderlines and addicts tend to create bpd’s. And addicts very often belong to one of those groups too
Actually I was diagnosed with BPD after being trafficked as a sex slave to someone when I was homeless on the street. Being raised by a narcissist didn't cause my BPD
Reading through these comments are making me feel horrible to have bpd .... we are not bad or evil people and the way people are describing people in their life (who aren’t even officially diagnosed) as such is sick. Yes we are difficult to have relationships with but we deserve love , family and friendship too. We are not all dangerous and not all of us fit into one exact type either some of us aren’t even violent to others we take it all out on ourselves . There is so much misunderstanding of this illness and I feel as much as this video strives to resolve it people are still making misinformed comments .
I have quiet bpd and i agree so much ❤❤
maya sperry me too
I found out I had it yesterday, explains why im always a mess a times
Yeah, some of these are pretty extreme. I managed to get to 32 before I was finally diagnosed. A quite a few failed relationships and what not in my life got explanation at that very second.
Then again, I've also been married for 5 years, been dating the same woman for well over 10 years now. She is the reason I finally got diagnosed and also the reason why my life is sorted - she just knows how to deal with my issues in a very defusing way. And doesn't seem to be affected by any of it. When questioned why she is still with me even through all the shit, she just shrugs and says she kinda tunes out whenever I am in the "mode" and then deals with me later :D
I was verbally abused by someone with bpd. I do want to understand it. I wish she would get the help she needs.
To know there is a name (BPD) for the reasons we do what we do, gives us identity, which we have lacked our entire lives.
We have felt lost for so many years, but now we can gain some sense of direction, understanding and insight on ourselves and that helps to gives us some peace that we have never had in our lives.
Jessica Sullivan thank you!!! My friends always asked why i was so adamant ab finding out if i had it or not. Its bc i just wanted clarity for once. Then i found out i was diagnosed with it long ago and no one told me. Now people wonder why im “obsessed” with bpd when im not i just learn ab it so ik why im doing things and what exactly im doing. I have every single symptom so it effects me 24/7 and i think to get better i have to realize what im doing first to be able to change it
And sadly it often takes a suicide attempt or severe self harm to get diagnosed.
Chris Juliette same!! I got mine last week, and family are saying that I’m “ obsessed”. No! Not at all! Finally understanding,it all makes sense now! And I’m educating myself so when I get into therapy I know exactly what I need to do! I can finally identify with something! Of course we’re going to latch on to it!
Ya label yourself a victim and go on like that if you want. I just think people are built different. The world is very big and most people will die a few kilometers away from where they are born. Thinking they tried everything.
When my psychiatrist diagnosed me she asked me how I feel about the diagnosis,
I told her I'm happy because now there's an explanation for all those things happening to me.
She said that it's interesting how everyone she diagnosed with BPD said the same thing.
While I was watching this my boyfriend was listening from across the table asking if that she was saying was true and I looked at him with tears in my eyes saying that it's so true that I can't help but get emotion hearing someone else explain exactly how I feel and exactly how I am. So much respect for this woman and how she told her story.
Her ability to articulate her experience is so cool. Makes me have compassion all over again.
Abuse, neglect, abandonment, the mind games. It's so fucked up how the vulnerable are preyed on by the evils in disguise. My dad was devil in disguise, psychopath, behind closed doors. My heart goes out to all sufferers of trauma.
With BPD, it always waiting for the people who tell u they love you to leave. Because that's all you've known. People leave. There is no small fight. A simple disagreement feels like the other person hates you now.
It's awful
So are you testing people? Or just pushing them away because you think you dont want to delay the inevitable.
@t fi Recovery is possible. I've been with my husband almost 11 years now! It was a lot of work in the beginning. But we worked through it!
Well for me they actually leave
@Grace VC Great question, I can't speak for everyone but a lot of people who develop BPD get it bc they have a lot of childhood trauma, most of the time it comes from a unstable and chaotic home life. The people that are supposed to love you and be there no matter what, especially in ur childhood, just doing follow through. The bonds we form with our parents/guardians are very flawed. A lot of times we have go take on parental rolls to the parents and/or siblings. Home never felt safe. We see people saying 'I love you' but their actions show verbal/mental and physical abuse and most of the time are in and out of the kids life.
We learn at such a pivotal stage in our life that people leave. We feel the smallest arguement isnt just a arguement.. now that person must hate us.
I hope that helps.
@Grace VC BPD is a personality disorder, so medicine can only help so much. So, a lot of it is talk based therapy. We didn't learn self worth, value or self esteem when it counted the most. So now, at 30... when I feel those crazy irrational thoughts coming up... I just disengage from the conversation and bring myself back down to reality. It is a little like having OCD. When we arnt having an "episode" we know it isnt rational, we know its fear based. But when it takes over... there is no rational thinking. I firmly believe I looked for chaos and kept it going because that felt normal to me. My house had constant, daily fighting... so when things are calm, its like I am waiting for it to come. Sometimes, it's about controlling the issue, because it's all we have to control.
BPD takes a lot of work to get to a rational place.
Grace VCy psychiatrists diagnosed me with BPD, Idk about everyone else like me, but for me it started when my mom( emotional support) died and my verbally and physically abusive alcoholic father got angry he was stuck with 2 kids. I’ve I’ve learn to numb feelings for so long )18 years before I got help, I’m 27 now). I’ve always longed for that approval of a parent. I would see all my friends have it. I would be envious. As for the abandonment thing I assume it comes from me being extremely attached to my mom and when she died, so did all the love I got. So I’ve always feared that happening from people who I care about so I’ve just became self destructive and end relationships before someone can hurt me. It’s mostly in my head but that’s been MY PERSONAL perception the last 18years of my life. There’s nothing like your father abusing a child then giving him a hug the day to confuse the boy.
We could be bpd twins.... This has been like watching an interview of myself... The struggle is real....i applaud her for doing this interview...thank you both
Me too...🙁
Mizz Morphine and so do I! I’ve just recently discovered that I have borderline personality disorder and at the same time that I’m so scared I’m so relieved that I know what I have and that I’m not the demon that Ive heard all my life and thought I was. Let’s fight this! We deserve a better life! Love to u! 🖤
@@nn_1298 yes! Im with you gurl... Same here! I too recently learned i had this and where as i was like, ugh... I have a mental disorder (nvr thought i could b effected.. Pfft dumb to think that lol) at the same time i felt a sense of relief or calm so to speak.. And that proactively we can get better... Yes, we will still have issues but we can greatly minimize our disorder n not let it define us or control us or our relationships.. Life etc....if we work at it... Knowledge and acceptance is the first step for sure... I also carry narccassistic traits... Boooooo..... But im wrking on that too.....i was afraid to speak up bcuz of the stigma related to mental illness but we are all damaged n crazy in one way and to one degree or another.... Ik something wasnt right..ik i was crazy but now i kno what type of crazy i am...that it has a name to me now.... I can deal with this flavor of crazy....im feeling more empowered to deal knowing more about it and recognizing my triggers and communicating it with my fiance who has and is being very supportive... Another important thing... Support system and educating ourselves n friends n family....ive been reading everything on it and self examining and im realizing its been there all along its just made itself manifest over the past yr more so than before....we all have our demons....we jus need kindness and patience without judgement towards one another n this earth would be a more tolerable place.... We do deserve better and we can have better if we work at it.. Fortunately studies and treatment options have gotten better for those with bpd as well as other "disorders" blah wish they could switch up the lingo...no wonder the stigmatization is so bad it immediately labels "us" as if to say broken beyond or to no repair...yes we are "broken" but doesnt mean we cant b fixed and still used and serve a purpose or have purpose still and thrive with proper support n treatment and love....we all as a whole need this and should be doing this for one another... Though its not gunna happen as a "whole" keep around ones that will....much love to you as well🖤
@@nn_1298 also... Ive been listening to and watching Dr. Daniel Fox on here as well when im running around doing house wrk in such... His speciality is in this area bpd and wow! Such great stuff... I highly reccomend watching his videos.. Not endorsing but he realli is insightful on this condition...i wish he lived in my area cuz i would do my therapy with him.. Amazed at his knowledge of it..jys a Fyi 😊
Pshffft.... Lol... Wow like to say ik i was crazy but didnt ever think i would b or was effected by some kind of or multiple "disorders" is like... Crazy! I fir rlz LOL'd that um was sooooo delusional 😶
I personally really think this disorder is completely caused by environmental factors and childhood abuse. But I can only make such an assumption based on my own experiences.
Right.
I agree. The cause of my BDP is a traumatic childhood.
Genetic in the sense that her mom didn't know how to parent. It is a cycle that starts with previous generations But it is not actually in the DNA.
I don’t understand how it could be anything other than 100% environmental tbh
Mine is genetics and environmental. We're not emotionally developed. I've been a highly sensitive person since day 1 and felt emotions really deeply. With the disorder our pain is described to being equivalent to 3rd degree burns. Emotions are extremely intense.
This was really raw, very interesting and she explains it really clearly for someone who doesn't know anything about it to actually better understand her situation
Thank you!
I don't understand the dissociative part and why she wants contact with the pig.
Thank you for this video. My girlfriend of 10 years has bpd and is in therapy since 3 years. I was a hell of a ride to get there. But therapy improved her and my life so much. So if you are affected by a mental illness don't be afraid to ask for help.
Woooo great man thanks for helping her others just run and leave us
this gives me hope that i really needed today..thank you!! gf with bpd here. 4 years for us & ongoing. i finally got accepted into therapy a little over 6 months ago. i hope i can say this 1 day, too
I love this girl she's strong and I don't think she realise it even
i think she was trying very hard to stop from dissociating at around 7:19, i have so much sympathy and love for this girl. i hope shes well
What exactly is dissociation? I'm a little confused.
@@Yams-Hams7734 it is when you have an out of body experience...its like your soul detaches from your body....
@@Blondezilla90 oh okay, that must be frightening, and scary.😥Oh and thank you.
@@Yams-Hams7734 it is....but more so for ppl around you as you are unresponsive until the episode is over....
@@Blondezilla90 I feel bad for people with BPD, because Jesus that’s brutal.
It makes perfect sense that you keep going back to the parent that abused you because they did show love once in a while. They taught you that is how love is shown and that its ok to be abusive as long as you give affection once in a while. The only reason they tend to do that is out of guilt. But as a child you are so starved for love, that you take it. You don't even know it's wrong. That completely follows you into your adult relationships, not only romantic but friendships. It keeps the cycle going that abuse is connected to love. It's what you were taught.
My mother would show "affection" only when I was ill. I guess during those times she could not simply keep on abusing me and had to nurse be back to health. Those were the times she displayed "love". Actually, she told me if she was such a bad mother she would not treat me when sick, or take me to hospital during my asthma flares...Well, if she didn't do that and i ended up dying or even more ill she would likely to have problems with social services.
So, basically , she did the best she could because she provided shelter, food and clean clothes (2nd, 3rd handed or from street market) and didn't let me die. Pretty much provided prison like services and for that we (daughters) should "wash her feet" upon her arrival.
I never understood the "washing feet" thing, I would be like why would she just wash her feet? why do not take a full shower? And why does she need someone to wash her feet, like she can do it herself.
Now I understand she saw herself as some sort of master and we should, as inferior beings, should "bow down" to her and admire her and be grateful.jeeeeez
How to cut ties fully?? I’m having trouble with this. I keep giving them chances even though I know I shouldn’t.
Honestly, I applaud this girl for talking about her struggles. I am diagnosed with BPD, its not easy living with it. I can see the shame and the pain in her eyes. Girl, you are loved and there is nothing wrong with you. All of us who have BPD, are with you and understand you. ❤
What this woman said hit me right in the feels. She could be me. I could be her. As a person with BPD, I struggle with wanting to die and yet wanting to be alive at the same time, hence the self-injuring. For me, it's both a sense of relief and a form of self-punishment.
"Ya He hit me yesterday but he really loves me he gave me a hug today.." Damn that hurt my soul my dad wasnt really abusive it was more mentally . constantly put me down shut down my happiness and accomplishments but like she said the moment you get a slight sense of love even a hug which is so normal to other was so rare for us ..
My mom is like this.
Everything she says I relate to so much. Bpd is the worst thing ever. I have resigned myself to be alone because it hurts so much to see those triggers everywhere. And it's not just defending your relationship it's like your constantly on guard and anytime a trigger happens you are in IMMENSE pain and you hurt so much and the feelings are incredibly real. That's the worst part you feel sad, worthless , betrayed and until your romantic partner says the exact right thing to comfort you it won't go away OR they have to lie to you if they were looking or doing whatever hurt you. Otherwise you are just continually tormented. And in the end they always leave.
Delores Lola 💔🤗🤦🏽♀️😢🤭😫 I relate!!!!!
Omg, I am so sorry she had to experience such emotional, physical, and sexual abuse from her father. She is a survivor. I wish her well.
Shit.. That was heartbreaking. I wish her and her son the very best, don't know what else to write, but I feel like I had to write it.
This is quality. Can't wait for your next interview.
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
Same. You do a great job, Nav.
watching these kinds of documentaries really help me identify things within myself. im 15 and was diagnosed with BPD when i was 14. i have been in residential treatment centers and secure treatment and i just got released from a locked facility a month ago. i am really hoping this time, i can recover without relapse. i have a number of diagnosies but BPD is my main one. thank you for making this. i really value these.
What A raw, insightful and articulate appraisal of this horrendous condition...As A middle age (Bpd survivor) man, I salute your honesty and wish your video reaches out if only to let other BPD sufferers they are not alone
Many thanks from Scotland
It becomes emotionally draining the feelings of rejection and abandonment. Life doesn’t afford you constructive criticism so you’re often left to your own devices, trying to make sense of what went wrong.
There’s only one constant with my failures, me. Everyone who ever decided to move on don’t really say goodbye or hit you up randomly. One day the calls, texts or any communication just stop. I had people who I thought were my friends just one day block me on all SM sites. No explanation or triggers that I know out of the blue.
It’s demoralizing. It feels like worse than death, because it’s one thing if you can’t control something like death, but it’s quite different when there are those going out of their way just to avoid you.
I made several attempts to just detach myself so I don’t put myself in these spots again, but it’s really a facade. I don’t expect any one to stick around anymore or care. Everyone moves on and you find out how inconsequential you really are in life.
The only way to keep that off my mind into dwelling on suicidal thoughts is to keep busy with activity. As long as I can be task-oriented, I don’t have to be reminded of my own insecurities when others enjoying success financially, socially and biologically.
Hope for some random change in my life is me begging God not for me to die alone and destitute. Blind faith means nothing without results. All the times I prayed, I feel like an old dog at a pound I’m it’s final days at a kill shelter.
Tom if you feel that way its time to seek help in all the right places. Get methylation tests for your biochemistry, get an immune inflammation panel and if confirmed that you have BPD, get Dialectical behavior therapy.
Recently diagnosed with bpd. Drug use, self harm and disassociation is so hard to concur. Abuse seems to be so common in my experience and others with bpd I’ve met. We are survivors. Each and every day is a fight. We use so much energy just existing. Sending love and health to each and everyone of you. 🖤🖤🖤
This is true
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
I’m 7 minutes in and this is the most accurate example of how I feel. I wasn’t diagnosed with BPD. I was 16-17 the first time I heard about it and thought “oh it sounds a lot like me” but forgot about it and moved on.
I’m 25 now and watching this. Everyone thought I was a teenager and i will grow out of it... I didn’t..
I have visible scars and a big cut on my wrist of my attempt. If I feel harming myself I scratch or hit myself, so I don’t feel embarrassed people will notice
Being diagnosed with BPD and PTSD at 13 years old. And not dealing with and seeking out drugs instead this really spoke to me. Thank you for creating this. I've been clean for 1 year. And it's been harder due to mental health. And it's hard to admit these things even to myself. This girl is strong to do this interview. This definitely takes self discovery and courage.
This girls honesty is absolutely beautiful. I am struggling, so many people believe that my mask is me that I don't feel like I can ever deal with all of these emotions and horrible thoughts I have every single day. The amount of times I have reached out and been called an attention seeker is so saddening. I tried to talk to my mum about the eating disorder that's evolving because of the stress that I feel, she said I should "just eat". Her words when I have a panic attack are "just calm down". I love her more that I could say, but I feel like I have absolutely nowhere to go.
Oh my god! Lots of tears....so authentic.....m borderline I know all this pain....love to both of n all those who made this film.....such a good job...the guy interviewing is adorable .....love n light to both of you
Wow he is a great interviewer and she's so honest and has clearly put alot of work into understanding herself💖
Her story and childhood is the exact same as mine. Parents were drug addicts, dad left us in a house w no lights or food. Moved away w mom and grandma and little brother. Mom left us with family members. Witnessed her almost get killed by an abusive boyfriend. I always knew something wasnt right and I always wanted to be "normal". I was molested at 10-11 by an family member, was a difficult teen barely graduated. Had been drugged and raped. I was the "fun girl". By 12th grade I tried every drug and was so premiscuous. My ex husband was 18 and I was 15. He was my drug dealer.. it took me till I was 30 to wake up out of the funk . I'm still trying to figure it out. But I'm so happy to hear it's not just me not really happy cause I don't wish this on anyone but I didnt think anyone would understand me or whyi was the way I was. Thank you for this. I now know I have the same mental illness. I pray she gets better as do I. I love how she said, you have this natural instinct to love your parents no matter how fucked up they are. I have the same issue with my dad. I love him so much. I just wanted and needed him so bad. I was so scared I just need my dad.
Crystal Becerra Hey Crystal, I just wanted to say my mother has an extremely similar story (to yours), and also has done battle with BPD. Our relationship was chaotic throughout my childhood, aggravated by the divorce she went through with my dad. However we truly bonded when I had my daughter with a not-nice guy at 19, and I started to understand some of the things she went through. We couldn't be any closer now (I'm 29). Sorry to give you so much background but the point I wanted to make is that she struggled HARD with BPD, but came through it and is doing so great now. Although you have struggled, and may still be, I believe with all my heart that healing will come with your determination. I have the greatest respect for people who have lived through what you have, and are still fighting for the peace, love, and happiness they deserve. Wishing you the absolute best ❤
@@lookingforsanjunipero4542 thank you so much that really touched my heart and made me feel better. Some days are good and some like today are bad. When the memories come back I revert. I'm still learning how to cope and handle it all. My fiance tells me, I never met someone who's s so mentally strong. I told him, with the help of God and people like him and you, it helps tremendously. Thank you for sharing your story. You're God sent for sure. 💖
Crystal Becerra, I can also relate so much to your story. I struggeled hard with a mom that didnt care for me and a very abusive stepdad, to whom i luckily have no contact at all, for almost 14 years. And still I am haunted. I very much adivse you to do as many therapy, as you can, if you have the support, security and love, that you need, to let everything out, to get to know yourself and the neglected child within yourself. Healing can take place! But you have to keep on fighting. I wish all the best for you.
@@Careeeeen1 thank you so much for the encouragement. Every day is a battle I fight within myself. To finally love who I am and the neglected child I was. I wouldn't be the strong willed person I am today. God puts us through things he knows we can handle. I'm just lucky to be alive and healthy. Never got pregnant or any STDs or diseases or illnesses. Other than the BPD. I've learned to cope and manage my depression. Like I said it's a daily battle buy with God anything is possible to overcome. Thank you and I wish you the best as well
Am a 25 old man and am still struggling with it it's terrible
Ann, I’m so immensely proud of you. I also suffer from BPD and PTSD and dealt with emotionally unsupportive parents and a history of sexual abuse and some questions were too much for me to listen to, my own memories would flood back. I’m so sorry about all that you went through but I’m so glad that you’re getting help and doing better. You are not “her”, you’re a strong and kindhearted person who is worthy of love and a good life.
Nav, although this interview was slightly triggering, I’m so thankful that you did it and shared it with us. It truly means a lot that you are sharing information about this disorder especially with someone’s personal experience.
Bless her and her son, I admire her for being so brave and above all for sharing her story, something that is far from easy. Thank you for this interview, both of you.
This woman is me. I do/have done most of these things. The pure feeling of hate towards the person you love when you feel they've disappointed or failed you in some minor way. The testing the boyfriend to see if he looks at other women. Purposely looking for potential threats to your relationship. Cant abide criticism. Extreme jealousy. And much much more. I can relate. Sadly
Also, she is still attached to her dad because of traumatic bonding.
why would you bond with someone that is abusing your humanity?
@@nefelibata4190 plz Google trauma bonding Stockholm syndrome and intermittent abuse
I think I have the same problem with my mom. She’s abused me my whole life but I’m still attached to her..
Nefelibata survival
I had that too, took years to walk away, I felt like I had no right to leave, because they believed and treated me like they owned me like property.
5:45 tears 😭 that’s me. I hate her I ask her to stop. My name is Rachel my husband says when I’m in that state I’m Rach... it’s like I’m a whole different person and I hate it. I feel so much shame and I want to love myself and stop testing my family. My mother abandoned me at age 7 and my whole life I’ve tried to just cling to her and in the end it hurt me more. My dad never showed love. I’m a mess but I’ll never give up. I only want to be Rachel not Rach
🙏🏾😩
I had a bad episode yesterday. I found out my boyfriend liked a girls picture. I got so angry and full of rage and went to the garage sat in the dark and started punching his tire. Now my nuckles are sore. I feel like I wanted to feel the pain.
Really professional but not disconnected. Keep it up
Wow this poor girl endured so much . She’s very brave and her authenticity to share her story has probably helped so many as a result of her not being ashamed to speak her truth .
i always come back to this videos~ whenn i feel myself going to this spiral, i watch this and feel less alone
Hot tip to the interviewer - If someone tells you they've been sexually assaulted or abused in any way, a really good response to lead with would be, "I am sorry that you experienced that. You did not deserve that.' .... 'Wow' -- and then moving on to the next question --- .... not the best buddy.
Being from near spruce grove and having bpd, this interview is so personal and educational. I am so grateful for her open honesty and your pointed and exact questions. Very well executed, respectful, and again, educational. Thank you for pressing awareness about bpd and resultant behaviors.
i love how honest she is, it takes a lot of courage to admit things that are hard to admit. i hope the best for her, i struggle with it too and this gives me a lot of hope.
I had BPD young and grew out of the criteria. I was one of the lucky few. For both the person with it and the people around them, I don't wish BPD on anyone. Still, please don't end your life over it. Everyone is valuable.
It's a shame how very few people are aware of Borderline Personality Disorder. People tend to just write them off as crazy and unstable and cut them out of their lives. I wish there were more awareness and treatment options available for it. Someone without it will think, "Just snap out of it, stop being so emo.!" But imagine if your partner put the toilet paper the wrong way. Instead of feeling mild irritation, you feel the type of rage you'd feel if someone kicked your dog or messed with your child. Imagine feeling such rage over small things constantly. On the flip side, imagine instead of having some feelings for someone you met who you feel some chemistry with, you feel pure blissful euphoria. Now imagine how you'd behave with such incredible intense emotional reactions. That my friends is what having BPD is like. It's not something one can just snap out of.
I mean not to invalidate your experience but even I with BPD if the house is extremely unorganized that’s a good reason to get irritated but toilet paper being on another side? Ehh sounds like anxiety or OCPD tendencies to me
I just had a young woman stay at my home for four months.
I've experienced mental issues, depression and anxiety, and spent a short time in a psychiatric unit, but I've never seen anything like B. P. D.
She gave it her best shot but it spiralled over the three weeks before Christmas and she decided to leave as it was becoming untenable for her to stay.
I can't see a way out for her, mental health provisions in the UK are next to useless.
You don't need help a week on Thursday, if you are having a crisis the you need help NOW.
This episode has really effected me negatively, it's like despondency by proxy due to the futility of her situation.
Girl, you are amazing and none of this is your fault. You're gonna get through this 💗
I love this young woman’s strength and courage. She has the potential to help be a voice or advocate for people struggling with these issues. Especially younger children
I’ve never felt so understood. I also have ptsd and borderline personality disorder
Nav, You have such a warm and safe energy about you in your interviewing approach. I love watching you. Thank you for sharing this.
I wish I could sit and have a cup of coffee with her. Stay strong, believe in yourself! Reach out if you need a friend with similar experience 🙏🏻
I have been diagnosed with ptsd and have been told by two therapists that I have traits of bpd but am not full blown bpd….but I always felt I had it because I’ve known for a while that something was wrong and the first time I ever read about bpd, it explained a lot about my feelings and actions.
This video, her examples, solidify and confirm so much of my life and the bpd “trait” diagnoses.
Let's make a Facebook group all BPD victims so we can connect with the people who truly understand us
When she talked about the dissociation I really felt that. I've tried explaining that part of bpd to my husband but he says it's an excuse. It's hard so hard. I feel so angery and it's like I turn off or float away n go into self destruction. My marriage is in crisis and I'm so overwhelmed I can't even seek treatment. Just when I work up the courage to look into provider I get super overwhelmed with how other will see me as crazy and unworthy of love. It's so exhausting.
Very insightful. I truly enjoyed hearing her testimony. I also suffer from living with BPD, CPTSD, ANXIETY, INSOMNIA ETC... I was misdiagnosed for 12 years because Psychiatrists claimed I was exhibiting Bipolar symptoms. I think this lady is amazing for talking about her personal experiences. Thank-you.
"Sometimes, I want to be ALIVE and DEAD at the same time."
So brave. She has given such insight into a disorder that devastates lives. She is beautiful and brilliant and I pray she continues to heal. I am also a survivor of abuse and on the BPD spectrum. 🙏🏼💜
I'm always panicky about my wife leaving me but I know it's my bpd messing with my head .I try to meditate and try to calm my self before I start feeling suicidal. Trying to comunicate how I feel is so hard it's like there never understand.what pain I'm feeling. It's can be horrible. Feeling lost in a dangerous world.Thats how it feels for me .but I have to keep going for my family
Man it's terrible
I'm struggling to keep my relationship together all because I can't handle my actions because I have BPD :( I get triggered by the littlest things and sometimes he doesn't understand I can't handle things very well.
Same, almost lost 2 year long relationship and he wants me to change but i cant take bpd out of me just like that. I wish you all the best
Literally my situation rn
Me too, it's so hard I am sad my husband married me because he deserves so much better than dealing with my issues
This is HEART WRENCHING!!!!!! You are So So brave to reach out and get help. Sending you lots of love and light
She is incredibly brave and a survivor. An inspiration to others with BPD who feel like they will never get better. All of what she’s been through and look at her today! Amazing transformation.
It's so hard watching yourself hurt the people you love
It makes you want to kill the meaness
It's so so hard to not want to hurt the person that hurts the people you love
And
That is
You
Heartbreaking to witness. Just heartbreaking.
This is an utterly fascinating yet heartbreaking video. I sincerely hope this woman is able to find peace, happiness and real love in her life
This seems like a challenging disorder to live with. I really respect her sharing. There are effective and compassionate therapies out there for people who have BPD.
Yes, there is. I think, if I'm not mistaken, she has taken cognitive behavior therapy and dialectical behavior therapy.
Nav Sangha hope things get better for her
I hope the best for her
Its hurting me watching this, I’m legit crying because of how deeply I feel what she’s saying and going through.
My experience was so similar to hers, she made me cry. I share her pain.
She's down to earth and relatable and brave af for doing this. Beautiful girl with a lot of pain in her life. She reminds me of myself. Started bawling at the part where she describes dissociated rage. It's terrifying to feel like two people at once. It is an illness.
my heart breaks for her, sending a virtual hug
The INNER VOICE IS SUCH A HUGE PART FOR ME!! my constant beehive of thought stings me constantly 24/7. Those emotions are so intense even tho I’m a quiet borderline
i do not have BPD but both me and my therapist agree that i have the symptoms im just not old enough for a diagnosis, however i want to thank both people in this video because i felt so understood while watching it.
Thanks very much for sharing!
I was recently diagnosed with BPD and it turned out that I probably had it since teenage. I can confirm that a lot of it is related to childhood, especially if u had some relatives with mental issues.
For me BPD is feeling empty and bored, depressed and anxious. I also have derealization/depersonalization episodes. Self-hurting and being irrationally angry is also a part of it, but not as big as feeling numb for me. My therapists helps me to accept myself. Most of all I can relate to suicidal thoughts because there are episodes when u feel like u can't stand it anymore and nothing seems to be helping. When I have "good" days, music and weed seem to make it much easier.
Art is a good therapy that can really keep u distracted and sometimes u can even forget that u are diagnosed.
Again, thanks for sharing. Wishing all the best to the team and the girl. Hope she is ok by now.
I really like the interviewer, he is not judgemental and he is very understanding
I am an avid #MentalHealthAwareness advocate and performer, and I love this so much. I travel the country trying to bring that awareness on stages, in classrooms, hospitals, and on my UA-cam channel, so I get excited when I see other advocates. 💙❤
I was very confused researching this topic, as I just didn't understand it at all. Your explanation was very easy to understand. I have been sober from any mind-altering for 19 months. Although the 19 months is from alcohol, drugs for 10 years now. Since counselling started its been identified that I am on the Autisic Spectrum. Always awaiting assessments for BPD and DiD. Your share was inspirational, as I would not put myself in social media presence, However, I identified a lot with your share. Keep being awesome
This really hit home. When that other side takes over I don't feel any remorse or fear. I've never understood why I've done the things I've done. I feel the pain from my past. I was diagnosed back in 8th grade.
it makes me feel a lot better that the chaos in my head and thought loops, aren’t just me
My dad was the same way to me. The pain never goes away. There’s not a day that goes by that i don’t think about the abuse. I still love my parents.. I worry so much about them. But I’m always the one chasing their love like she said in the video. It hurts so much to live
She is so good at explaining this!!!
I wanna say i appreciate you a lot, i have BPD and my wife is my best friend and im so grateful she never left me..... its really hard but not impossible to deal with your a trained survivalist look at it that way you know to raise your sun and teach him right thats a gift alone.....
Good thoughts and good work by Nav Sangha. Carry on Jatta
I am so aware that I know how I developed my BPD.. I hope this isn't forever. I don't wanna be like this for the rest of my life.
"Deep into the darkness peering long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." Edgar Allan Poe.
Oh my God! Listening to her it’s like I’m listening to myself.. 🥺😭😭😭what she had experienced is what exactly I have experienced too in my younger days. What makes me sad is I know I can be loving but because even in a little things it can triggers me to uplift my mood swings, it’s hard for every guy to be with me in a relationship long time.
Nobody deserves to go through those terrible things. I hope her future will be better and peaceful.
I had a friend that has bpd and everything was a test. She would test situations with her boyfriend and i too, it was so stressful. I'm a mellow, relaxed person so she could never get a reaction from me and that got her livid. I removed myself. I hope the best for her.
bee lovey same.
Same here
Great insight. Good luck with the channel!
Thank you!
What an amazingly beautiful and courageous woman she is.