@Craig G yep, why do you think he "moved to Florida." They have very relaxed laws on property ownership for bankruptcies. It might let him save some of his assets when NY takes him for decades worth of tax avoidance.
“There’s not anything different said in that phone call than what the president says everyday.” Soooooo because he commits crimes everyday and admits to them everyday that’s fine???
"If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed … and we will deserve it” was the actual quote... but yes, he sure has flipped a bit on that one hasn't he?
It was THE ideal call: not too short but not too long, funny but also heartfelt, very at ease while also staying on topic concisely, witty but also engaging of the listener. Communications experts will be studying the perfect subtleties of this call for centuries. It will be known only as "The Call" ™️
Jorge Lujan I keep telling y’all if y’all keep doing this to old ppl y’all in trouble. Please put warning ⚠️ signs on your comments, at least for me so I’ll know to put my Depends on. Damn I was ready to go to bed now I gotta take another freaking shower 🚿. I was just going over your comment seeing how it sounded in his dumb azz voice laughed so hard I cried laughing 😂 damn I should’ve had on my Depends. Y’all and that darn Colbert 😂 😂 😆 😆 on Point.
He really is. I went to this taping this afternoon and he was a delight. Came in to greet the audience, had a little q&a with us.. he was exciting and pumped and gave us all a feeling showbusiness isn't just stuffed with arrogant pricks.
Imagine if Trump still had been a democrat when he got sworn into the office... The GOP would have been all over him, crying for his impeachment in a matter of "seconds". Think about that.
Lindsey Graham’s balls would’ve been too big for that Christmas tree and we’d be hearing all about restoring honor and integrity to the office. What a hypocrite!
Ed Turner It's to the degree that it could be - and undoubtedly will be - in psychology texts for many generations to come: Provided our planet survives his like.
@@jakeryker546 can any of you trumpers stop deflecting for one damm second? I'm talking about trump not hillary who by the way has nothing to do with nor is responsible for the behavior of this sick old man currently in the white house. But know what, go ahead ignore his behavior. You always have and always will. Thanks for making America far less great.
" only the smart people are clapping " wtf!?🤣😂🤣 he actually has to insult them into clapping for him !?! I cant imagine Obama ever having to do that ,WOW!! 😂✊🏼 this guy is a real clown.
The Great Anointed Lord Trump. Wow you dump supporters claim to be so smart but you don’t see the big picture. Let me explain it for you. We know it’s not gonna get passed the senate but they’re doing to him what he did to Hillary destroying his image for 2020 by releasing everything. Duh!!!!
The claim centers around the fact that, although he constantly lies, the lies he tells are so easily proven false that nobody can be fooled (unwillingly) by them. The fact that his dishonesty is so blatant technically makes it transparency because everyone can "see right through him".
You can certainly see straight through him. I pity the fools who believe "he plays N-dimensional chess". Nope, he's a straight up simpleton; there's zero shrewdness, only a perpetual trumpster-fire fuelled by pure idiocy.
When I was a paralegal, I had to get information about clients’ legal history, and if someone had, say, a conviction for armed robbery, that person would almost always say. “But that isn’t a problem.” Maybe not for you, buddy, but ...
No collusion. It was a perfect call. There was no quid pro quo. I did not have sex with that woman. I am not a crook. I didn't see the stop sign. I didn't know it was loaded. It meant nothing to me, Honey. I thought she was eighteen, Your Honor. (etc. ad nauseam)
Seriously you guys are just like anti-vaxxers, ignore 90% of evidence pointing to Trump being right, but there is one source that agrees with me so I only listen to that. I am not Trump supporter, just a guy from Europe sick of this ridiculous witch hunt.
"Look at the first phone call. It was perfect" just like "Officer, look at this video. It was taken when I met the victim 10 days before he was murdered and it clearly shows how I'm not murdering him."
@@Jauvajs How should I read the actual transcript? It's on a classified government server. I did only read the edited transcript Trump himself released. That transcript alone is "only" a little bit fishy. Asking for a favor right after Zelensky was talking about buying more Javelins isn't hard evidence for anything but it already points in a certain direction. But how much worth is evidence that was provided by the suspect himself? It's basically like if someone who is accused of murder is showing the judge a knife, says that this is the murder weapon and there are no fingerprints or DNA traces from him on it. Any evidence provided by a suspect himself can't exonerate the suspect if the suspect had the possibility to manipulate the evidence. But while the transcript, even the version Trump himself released, is helpful to impeach him, we don't even need it anymore. After all those testimonies that accuse Trump of doing exactly what the whistleblower said he did, the transcript and even the whistleblower himself are completely irrelevant. And as long as there isn't any Fox News interview in which those witnesses say that they didn't say in the hearing what the press is claiming they said, I will assume what the press is reporting about the substance of those testimonies is correct. And that doesn't make Trump look good. I mean if the press would say you said A but you know you said B, you wouldn't just sit there and do nothing. Especially if you know the president of the United States has your back and there is a national news channel that would love to do an interview with you if you want to support the president. But I don't see that happening.
I don't see how you can dispute the statement of our Great Orange Leader that it was a perfect call. He dialed the correct number, he didn't hold the phone upside down, and he never once dropped the telemaphone machine on his toe. Perfectamundo, mon frère.
@@juschu85 I think it proves how Trump is a caring individual for providing what evidence he has. Yes, he did not supply the complete transcript of the phone call, after editing out all the good parts, but he did provide some of it free to us at absolutely no charge. And he has repeatedly admitted to some of his crimes openly on TV in front of his hellimacopter. The glass is half full. Please do not urinate into the fog and be a pissamist. Please do not throw out the baby, the dog, and the parakeet with the bathwater. Trump by his own royal decree is a very stable genius** (see disclaimer below). After all, ninety-eleven bazillion red hat lemmings can't be wrong. And please, I beseech thee, do not be so snooty by attacking so rudely our mighty whitey Commander In Cheese. In support of my above asstoot remarks, I submit the following reprint of my previous heartfelt comment: ~ ~ ~ You liberals miss the point. Quid pro quo is irrelevant. It is Latin, a dead language, and nobody speaks Latin anymore anywhere in the world outside the Catholic Church. So therefore, unless it can be proven beyond doubt that Mulvaney, Trump, and Zelensky are all Catholic, this obviously does not apply. And "Quid" is slang for an English pound. Try spending that at your local liquor store and see how far you get. A "Quid" may be good in Great Britain, but don't forget that we separated from them a long time ago. Stop picking on our Great Leader. He knows what is best for us. He is building the wall in Colorado to protect us, one and all. Remember where your irresponsible wild allegations come from. Wild allegations come from wild alligators, everybody knows that. What do reptiles know, anyway? Trump had to drain the swamp to catch all those 'gators and snakes for the moat, so of course the 'gators are unhappy and hate our beloved president. Walt Kelly taught us they were happy in their infested swamp, where Hillary and Obama left them to run amok like animals. It takes a long moat along the wall to protect us from those bad hombres, and that takes a lot of 'gators and snakes. Thankfully, dem dare ’gators be hungry, and dey love dem some Mexican cuisine. (Es muy caliente en la boca.) Stop the witch hunt. Witches are girls, and if you demon rats and mice would come out of your secret basement cave headquarters, you'd see our Commander in Cheese is no girl. Anyone can see that. He doesn't even like girls. He grabs them by the hoo-hah to protect us and keep them away. You will understand when the aliens come and you do not have your tinfoil lined MAGA hat. Then you will understand what MAGA really means, "Make Aliens Go Away". Like I said in the beginning, Quid pro quo is irrelevant, and that is the symbol of our party, and you aren't invited. Elevants belong in the circus, and we are doing our best to create a complete circus all true Americans can enjoy. However, due to circus-dances beyond our control, some heffalumps is invisible, and that is why we cannot see the elevant in the room. ~ ~ ~ ** In the spirit of clarity and full disclosure, I am compelled to point out that the term "Stable Genius" does not imply sanity . . . It merely means that the Trumpus Orangatanus sleeps with the horses out in the stable, and is allegedly smarter than the rest of the horses. What I want to know is what happened to the front part of the horse. For further study: ua-cam.com/video/k-LTRwZb35A/v-deo.html .
He’s in a setting to give a speech and disses half the audience without hesitation. Whatta jerk. He’s usually clapping for himself like a trained circus animal.
@@miapdx503 you mean evangelical "Christians"? They spent all of Obama's years telling us they had morals, family values, and respect for law and order. All lies.
Most importantly the Senate has to turn blue and Mitch McConnell has to go. If the senate stays in republican hands than a democratic president will be a lame duck. Generally speaking I am not in favor of one party having house, senate and presidency. But in the current situation it will be essential to prevent another 4 years of bickering and nothing getting accomplished.
Hate to be Negative Nancy but it's not even looking like a single House Republican will vote for impeach, to say nothing of Senators (aka jurors) who have been openly making out with the defendant (President Mar-A-Lardass) in public. Our democracy had a good ride. It's about to executed when Republicans let this shitstain off the hook.
msalanie I wouldn’t say any day now. I’d say it would be sometime next year if the Supreme Court decides to throw out the case, and even further into next year if they do decide to hear the case.
Everybody should check out today's New York Times article on the "journalist" John Solomon... Solomon is the root source of a lot of Trump's phony Ukraine conspiracies. Basically Solomon went digging around for sketchy Ukrainian sources who would tell him what he, Giuliani, & Trump wanted to hear, then Solomon presented the disinformation in the articles he wrote for the conservative media outlet "The Hill", and in his appearances on Hannity, etc... eventually Solomon's twisted "reporting" became too much even for The Hill, and they got rid of him, but he's still cruising around pro-Trump media spreading his lies & disinformation about Ukraine to millions of Americans.
Yeah, I noticed that.. as soon as he reached down I was thinking is he gunna use his other hand as we've seen in the past to 'stabilise' the glass.. and he did LOL! Then he remembers only kids in Pampers need to use both hands to drink and removes the steadying hand..
@@chiefjetsonofflare5329 Didn't get that bad here, just around 0*C; only briefly had to get the fireplace going. It had amazing overnight survival - which was nice, save a little on matches.
Pit Friend how many improv press conferences did Obama give again? Lol he’s answered more questions from the press than any other president before him, fact check me on that.
@@abaguirre8945 O.K I just fact checked you AB Aguirre and it turns out you’re right. Trump has lied to the press more than any other president before him.
AB Aguirre you may be right about that, because he doesn’t have a press secretary do them anymore, probably because he thinks they’ll just somehow screw up the lies he plans to answer the questions asked of him with. He’s also likely on Stimulants and a lot of them, his confidence in his blatantly obvious and frankly poorly crafted lies is quite a sight to behold. What a strange president we’ve got.
James Lee ok so what’s your source? You just claim he’s lying or you got specific instances where he lied? Or is it what late night comedians want you to think?
"We repealed the Waters of the United States law, and almost everyone was crying because they were so happy that their rivers and lakes could now be used as dumping grounds for toxic chemicals and be drained dry to irrigate industrial farms."
@Lynette Agueda Similar to how they banned NASA from saying "climate change". Or banned the CDC from ever funding ANY research into gun violence. Piece by piece America is sold to highest bidder. A government for the lobby, not the people.
@@Asher_Tye Sadly, when it does start affecting people, it's usually only one community at a time. Quite easy for Republicans to ignore and bury in red tape. Especially when the lobby money keep rolling in.
Merry Schiffmas everybody!!!! We're bringing back "Merry Schiffmas!" On the first day of Schiffmas, my Congress gave to me, Trump treason on an impeachment tree.
And it is the regional accent of his base, as well. Their shared fantasy that they need to be heavily armed in order to retain the capacity to take down the government is the literal embodiment of conspiracy to commit treason.
@@rosekiller123 Wow, still trying to prop up an unregistered sex offender with a porn star wife. Why? Unless you're one percent wealthy, *he's laughing at you.* Be smarter.
Interesting- when Stephen makes a mistake reading his prompter, he says "sorry" and corrects it rather than pretending that he meant to say it and coming up with a nonsensical phrase to incorporate it into the corrected sentence.
This joke is so old, get new material that doesn't further the harmful stigmas around sex workers. We shouldn't be joked about being killed. This is just gross.
We'll find his call "tantalizing?" Doesn't that essentially mean stimulating someone's desire for something they can't have? Seems his English tutor may have requested that he try to use the word "tantalizing" in a sentence today.
I lost it on that ending! The sound it makes when I'm laughing is like an old fashioned car horn. My neighbors must think I am crying my heart out or something, but it is actually just laughter.
When he said "impeachment tree" and I realized he was serious, I was unfortunately taking a drink and it literally dribbled out my mouth as I tried to contain my laughter.
Me, in court after stabbing somebody 45 times: "But your honor, I was in an innocent state of mind, here's the footage of the crime! It's a perfect video!"
“Lindsay Graham’s balls : he’s not using them”. Classic!
They look oddly the same as Trump's orange peachy tingey ones.
“Little tiny mushroom” muncher, Lindsey doesn’t need his little tiny balls. Stumps has neutered all his boyfriends, he can’t handle the competition.
@Chris Thompson Actually, please do!
Soon to be the #1-selling Christmas gift.
Classic!! Ever taste of victory!
Release your taxes. Or at least pay them.
Most Hated agreed
Them taxes will send him straight to jail
.DO NOT PASS GO
@Craig G yep, why do you think he "moved to Florida." They have very relaxed laws on property ownership for bankruptcies. It might let him save some of his assets when NY takes him for decades worth of tax avoidance.
@Craig G - Actually, my understanding is that the federal judge basically told him "pfft, get outta here, take it up with the New York State court."
Be reasonable. He owes hundreds of millions, possibly more. What do you think he is, made of money?
“There’s not anything different said in that phone call than what the president says everyday.” Soooooo because he commits crimes everyday and admits to them everyday that’s fine???
For Republicans it is
No it's not, Terra. No it's not.
Well if he says so? Who are we to doubt a Republican president?
Yes. Because he’s *white*
I guess for the Republicans it does.
1-900- Quid-Pro-Ohh is probably the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Thank you for the laughter
Karen Gummer yep
Is that the voice of Jen Spyra (aka Jill Newslady)?
The word "tantalizing" coming out of DT's mouth makes me feel violated and I want to lodge a complaint.
get in line 😆
U aint no south sider any real southsider dont say he a southsider
"We would get slaughtered if we pick Trump as our nominee and we will deserved it."
---- Lindsey Graham
"If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed … and we will deserve it” was the actual quote... but yes, he sure has flipped a bit on that one hasn't he?
@@daleludtke7803 sorry will edit was writing from memory
Where did he leave that suicide note?
@@xmillion1704 twitter May 3 2016
@@thegreatwalrus153 - Cool, thanks. The question was rhetorical, I was just using it to float the concept of it being his suicide note.
This program is something special. Love it
Thank GOODNESS for Colbert! 💈
"Lindsey Graham's balls. He's not using them these days." Fell off my chair laughing.
L. Grahm perfect example of a self serving boot licking no Integraty sort of career politician. TERM LIMITS !!
I thought that was his thyroid glands
FOMCL
I thought they were buried with John McCain!
Roman Charazian
Thyroid glands look like a butterfly
Who has ever heard of a phone call being described as “ perfect”? What an odd choice of words !
I've been saying that ever since he first came out with that claim. In my whole life, I've never heard ANYONE describe a phone call as "perfect."
It was THE ideal call: not too short but not too long, funny but also heartfelt, very at ease while also staying on topic concisely, witty but also engaging of the listener.
Communications experts will be studying the perfect subtleties of this call for centuries.
It will be known only as "The Call" ™️
Jorge Lujan, I never looked at it this way. Maybe it really was perfect. Thanks for opening my eyes. 😁
Jorge Lujan I keep telling y’all if y’all keep doing this to old ppl y’all in trouble. Please put warning ⚠️ signs on your comments, at least for me so I’ll know to put my Depends on. Damn I was ready to go to bed now I gotta take another freaking shower 🚿. I was just going over your comment seeing how it sounded in his dumb azz voice laughed so hard I cried laughing 😂 damn I should’ve had on my Depends. Y’all and that darn Colbert 😂 😂 😆 😆 on Point.
@@jorgelujan9942 Are you suggesting the tRump moron is capable of all that? I know you're not, lol
That hotline skit had me rolling on the floor. Seriously the funniest shit I’ve seen in some time. Thank you good sir.
Stephen is PERFECT 🤩
He really is. I went to this taping this afternoon and he was a delight. Came in to greet the audience, had a little q&a with us.. he was exciting and pumped and gave us all a feeling showbusiness isn't just stuffed with arrogant pricks.
Stephen Colbert for pres 2020
Yankeeladee02
Stephen is perfect...... unlike the phone call to Ukraine.
Imagine if Trump still had been a democrat when he got sworn into the office...
The GOP would have been all over him, crying for his impeachment in a matter of "seconds".
Think about that.
Lindsey Graham’s balls would’ve been too big for that Christmas tree and we’d be hearing all about restoring honor and integrity to the office. What a hypocrite!
Nanoseconds not seconds
Exactly
If DNC screws USA and puts Joe Biden in or Kamala Harris... They will.
He never would have been elected if he ran as a Democrat. Just my opinion.
"The smart people are clapping" sounds like a threat.
You better pretend you like it! I bet he's sad that before.
just what Stalin would say
I think he said that so people would clap, after all they don’t want to be dumb.
"Nothing was done wrong" is a poor choice of words that implies "the crime went off without a hitch."
right normally it'd be, "nothing wrong was done"
The ad for 1-900-Quid Pro OHHHH! is brilliant. The writers who came up with that deserve a raise.
Omg. There are peaches on that tree. Brilliant.
Kieragirl i wouldn't notice if I wasn't scrolling through comments;) tnx
Milomir Jukanovic Those golden Graham Balls are distracting.
@@kieragirl - They were going to feature trumpty's balls too, but they're slapping Graham's chin.
“In order to continue being the most transparent president in history”
>still won’t release taxes
I was thinking the exact same thing as soon as I heard him say that ! 😊👍
he'd release them. but he's under audit. /s
The hits keep on comin'😅
@@cmdraftbrn I also never understood that lie. Why would someone spend money on lawyers to not have his taxes publicized if the problem was the IRS?
I laughed so hard, I woke everybody up in my house!!
"The smart people are clapping???" What an insult 😳😳😳😳😳.
Yeah heads as empty buckets
I think he meant the ones not clapping will be either fired or wearing cement shoes.
Grace B. Addey Yes, and “only the dumb people are speaking”.
And the dumb ones are standing behind the podium with the clap!
If this was last week tonight, John Oliver’s team would make 1-900-QUID-PRO-OOOOH into a real line you can call into 😂😂
Gotta love that HBO budget 👍
The tree was very clever, great job studio staff!! 😎
I am so tired!! But I have been waiting to watch this.
LOCK HIM UP!
Lennie in "Of Mice and Men" had an innocent state of mind...
Trump isn't retarded, just corrupt and stupid. at least Lenny had an excuse
Stephen Cold beer. Refreshingly entertaining and enlightening.
Merry Schiffmas and a Happy Blue Year, Patriots !!! 🎅
O-YA
"Remember . . . only YOU can prevent oval office liars!"
@spudnic88 Rake America Great Again
And the same to you!
"Iwas waiting for that.. Only the Smart People clapped...only the smart ones.."
Wow...
Dave Edwards yep, what an utter asshat.
That's what he was saying? To me it sounded like he was screaming, "I'm so fucking insecure!!!!!!" Hmmm that's weird.
Literally a grade school mentality. I mean, I heard that joke IN GRADE SCHOOL.
🎵Oh! Impeachment Tree!
Oh! Impeachment Tree!
How lovely were your phone call?🎵
trump is the most insecure person I've ever seen.
Ed Turner It's to the degree that it could be - and undoubtedly will be - in psychology texts for many generations to come: Provided our planet survives his like.
Definitely unlike the delusional lady who had a 'Madam President' book ready 😆
I work with one of his supporters..... you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg. Characterising as insecure is a kind understatement!
@@jakeryker546 can any of you trumpers stop deflecting for one damm second? I'm talking about trump not hillary who by the way has nothing to do with nor is responsible for the behavior of this sick old man currently in the white house. But know what, go ahead ignore his behavior. You always have and always will. Thanks for making America far less great.
Can't be easy being the potus
“And only the dumb people are giving the speech”
This is why you come here , good comedy and actual politics nowadays. Thank you Late Show
that was great!
" only the smart people are clapping " wtf!?🤣😂🤣 he actually has to insult them into clapping for him !?! I cant imagine Obama ever having to do that ,WOW!! 😂✊🏼 this guy is a real clown.
We need more reaction buttons on FB
I’m setting up my impeachment tree as we speak lol
I'm your great white hope!
that's the Spirit!
*Nice, Ignore all the Trump defender inbreds and Russian 🇷🇺 trolls*
Impeachment is going to fail. You fakes have no choice but to get run over by the Trump train in 2020!+
The Great Anointed Lord Trump. Wow you dump supporters claim to be so smart but you don’t see the big picture. Let me explain it for you. We know it’s not gonna get passed the senate but they’re doing to him what he did to Hillary destroying his image for 2020 by releasing everything. Duh!!!!
When he says "The most transparent president ever.", he must see himself as lobotomized jellyfish.
Jellyfish don't really have brains... so that's kinda redundant. But I 100% agree with your sentiment XD
Just like Lady Macbeth didn't kill the king..
@@sanctifiedsuccubus2562 yet.. it's somehow still accurate
The claim centers around the fact that, although he constantly lies, the lies he tells are so easily proven false that nobody can be fooled (unwillingly) by them. The fact that his dishonesty is so blatant technically makes it transparency because everyone can "see right through him".
You can certainly see straight through him. I pity the fools who believe "he plays N-dimensional chess". Nope, he's a straight up simpleton; there's zero shrewdness, only a perpetual trumpster-fire fuelled by pure idiocy.
"Nothing was done wrong." -Every criminal ever
When I was a paralegal, I had to get information about clients’ legal history, and if someone had, say, a conviction for armed robbery, that person would almost always say. “But that isn’t a problem.” Maybe not for you, buddy, but ...
trump's way of saying "I didn't do nothing.
Those aren't my drugs. I was just holding them for a friend"
"Shawshank is full of people who didn't do it"
No collusion.
It was a perfect call.
There was no quid pro quo.
I did not have sex with that woman.
I am not a crook.
I didn't see the stop sign.
I didn't know it was loaded.
It meant nothing to me, Honey.
I thought she was eighteen, Your Honor.
(etc. ad nauseam)
Seriously you guys are just like anti-vaxxers, ignore 90% of evidence pointing to Trump being right, but there is one source that agrees with me so I only listen to that.
I am not Trump supporter, just a guy from Europe sick of this ridiculous witch hunt.
I will be glued to the tv today! I haven't felt this good in 3 years!
The tree is perfect!
The tree had an outline of Ukraine covered in candy canes. U-candy-crane
Good catch!
Figgy puddin = figgy Putin
I would never have figured that out! Great observation.
I was struggling to make that one out, so eager and anxious am I, like a little kid on impeachment eve!
I love Stephen and the team!
Oh he is perfect allright,
perfectly insane...
-Kinder- Martinni Bataan clever
He thinks he's special. He's the kind of special you put in a straitjacket.
"Look at the first phone call. It was perfect"
just like
"Officer, look at this video. It was taken when I met the victim 10 days before he was murdered and it clearly shows how I'm not murdering him."
Yup. I'm definitely not guilty of robbing that bank either, because here's a picture of me in the bank earlier, when I _wasn't_ robbing it. :)
And another one, who only read the headlines and not the actual trannscript.
@@Jauvajs How should I read the actual transcript? It's on a classified government server. I did only read the edited transcript Trump himself released. That transcript alone is "only" a little bit fishy. Asking for a favor right after Zelensky was talking about buying more Javelins isn't hard evidence for anything but it already points in a certain direction.
But how much worth is evidence that was provided by the suspect himself? It's basically like if someone who is accused of murder is showing the judge a knife, says that this is the murder weapon and there are no fingerprints or DNA traces from him on it. Any evidence provided by a suspect himself can't exonerate the suspect if the suspect had the possibility to manipulate the evidence.
But while the transcript, even the version Trump himself released, is helpful to impeach him, we don't even need it anymore. After all those testimonies that accuse Trump of doing exactly what the whistleblower said he did, the transcript and even the whistleblower himself are completely irrelevant.
And as long as there isn't any Fox News interview in which those witnesses say that they didn't say in the hearing what the press is claiming they said, I will assume what the press is reporting about the substance of those testimonies is correct. And that doesn't make Trump look good.
I mean if the press would say you said A but you know you said B, you wouldn't just sit there and do nothing. Especially if you know the president of the United States has your back and there is a national news channel that would love to do an interview with you if you want to support the president. But I don't see that happening.
I don't see how you can dispute the statement of our Great Orange Leader that it was a perfect call.
He dialed the correct number, he didn't hold the phone upside down, and he never once dropped the telemaphone machine on his toe. Perfectamundo, mon frère.
@@juschu85 I think it proves how Trump is a caring individual for providing what evidence he has. Yes, he did not supply the complete transcript of the phone call, after editing out all the good parts, but he did provide some of it free to us at absolutely no charge. And he has repeatedly admitted to some of his crimes openly on TV in front of his hellimacopter.
The glass is half full. Please do not urinate into the fog and be a pissamist.
Please do not throw out the baby, the dog, and the parakeet with the bathwater.
Trump by his own royal decree is a very stable genius** (see disclaimer below). After all, ninety-eleven bazillion red hat lemmings can't be wrong. And please, I beseech thee, do not be so snooty by attacking so rudely our mighty whitey Commander In Cheese.
In support of my above asstoot remarks, I submit the following reprint of my previous heartfelt comment:
~ ~ ~
You liberals miss the point. Quid pro quo is irrelevant.
It is Latin, a dead language, and nobody speaks Latin anymore anywhere in the world outside the Catholic Church. So therefore, unless it can be proven beyond doubt that Mulvaney, Trump, and Zelensky are all Catholic, this obviously does not apply. And "Quid" is slang for an English pound. Try spending that at your local liquor store and see how far you get. A "Quid" may be good in Great Britain, but don't forget that we separated from them a long time ago. Stop picking on our Great Leader. He knows what is best for us. He is building the wall in Colorado to protect us, one and all.
Remember where your irresponsible wild allegations come from. Wild allegations come from wild alligators, everybody knows that. What do reptiles know, anyway? Trump had to drain the swamp to catch all those 'gators and snakes for the moat, so of course the 'gators are unhappy and hate our beloved president. Walt Kelly taught us they were happy in their infested swamp, where Hillary and Obama left them to run amok like animals. It takes a long moat along the wall to protect us from those bad hombres, and that takes a lot of 'gators and snakes. Thankfully, dem dare ’gators be hungry, and dey love dem some Mexican cuisine. (Es muy caliente en la boca.)
Stop the witch hunt. Witches are girls, and if you demon rats and mice would come out of your secret basement cave headquarters, you'd see our Commander in Cheese is no girl. Anyone can see that. He doesn't even like girls. He grabs them by the hoo-hah to protect us and keep them away. You will understand when the aliens come and you do not have your tinfoil lined MAGA hat. Then you will understand what MAGA really means, "Make Aliens Go Away".
Like I said in the beginning, Quid pro quo is irrelevant, and that is the symbol of our party, and you aren't invited. Elevants belong in the circus, and we are doing our best to create a complete circus all true Americans can enjoy.
However, due to circus-dances beyond our control, some heffalumps is invisible, and that is why we cannot see the elevant in the room.
~ ~ ~
** In the spirit of clarity and full disclosure, I am compelled to point out that the term "Stable Genius" does not imply sanity . . . It merely means that the Trumpus Orangatanus sleeps with the horses out in the stable, and is allegedly smarter than the rest of the horses.
What I want to know is what happened to the front part of the horse.
For further study:
ua-cam.com/video/k-LTRwZb35A/v-deo.html
.
I was feeling quite depressed, thank you Mr Colbert for the pick-me-up.
Trump: "I'm the most transparent President in history! Just don't ask me about my taxes."
Just do not ask me for a testimony. Do not ask any questions that I don't like.
Also dont ask my administration to testify..
lich109 or my high school grades
I can always count on Colbert to lift up my spirits after a hard night's work.
“Only the smart people are clapping” - Trump isn’t clapping
Omg! You killed me! 😂😂😂😂😂
HAA HAA!!!!
"I was waiting for you to clap"
What a complete narcissist thinking everything he says deserves to be clapped.
Just 20 minutes ago I watched 5 sheep in the top paddock clapping along while singing 'Kumbaya my lord'. Stupid sheep.
He’s in a setting to give a speech and disses half the audience without hesitation. Whatta jerk. He’s usually clapping for himself like a trained circus animal.
"Lindsey Graham's balls" on the impeachment tree ..."he's not using them these days" DED!😂
ACTUAL SIZE 🤣
The ornaments should be orange's and peaches. There should've been some prison stripes on it.
As soon as he said strong people i knew that he would say that they were crying! Old classic!
Okay. So, the president most likely has a severe case of narcissism but his supporters have no clue what narcissism is. Fantastic.
Anthony Ellis Nor would they care if they knew.
These are the same people who accept his sex crimes. And his serial adultery. And all his lies. And they do this, a lot 🙈🙉🙊
@@miapdx503 They sure do.
Too many syllables for your basic Trump supporter....
@@miapdx503 you mean evangelical "Christians"? They spent all of Obama's years telling us they had morals, family values, and respect for law and order. All lies.
Can we impeach his whole cabinet and VP Pence? Trump impeachment good, but we need all them gone. #PresidentPelosi
Most importantly the Senate has to turn blue and Mitch McConnell has to go. If the senate stays in republican hands than a democratic president will be a lame duck.
Generally speaking I am not in favor of one party having house, senate and presidency.
But in the current situation it will be essential to prevent another 4 years of bickering and nothing getting accomplished.
We'll vote all those bastards out!
Yeah, “most transparent President in history”. As in clear, as in zero substance.
Thanks so much Stephen*!!
Don't mind me, I'm just selling popcorn for the series finale of the trump presidency.
🍿🍿🍿
I’ll take one, how much?
@@GodzillaMonsters8 1 view on the vid + 1 like / reply on this comment. Here you go, enjoy: 🍿
Hate to be Negative Nancy but it's not even looking like a single House Republican will vote for impeach, to say nothing of Senators (aka jurors) who have been openly making out with the defendant (President Mar-A-Lardass) in public. Our democracy had a good ride. It's about to executed when Republicans let this shitstain off the hook.
Blip Machine - I’ll take one. Don’t skimp on the butter, salt and Thorazine.
Business is good I reckon 😁😁😁
*_It's beginning to look a lot like Impechmas, every where I go..._*
Michel F It’s beginning to look a lot like Schiffmas!! MERRY SCHIFFMAS EVE everyone! 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
Omg that “tantalizing” phone call was awesome!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
We got the “quid pro snow”
I've heard Jeffrey Dahmer had an "innocent state of mind" too.
That bulletproof glass he hid behind for the Veteran's Day speech is the only thing transparent about him.
OK. At 7.02 the "Quid Pro Ohh" advert really really needs to run on TV as a real thing
“That seal can blow”
“Yeah that thang swangin boy woo woo woo”
Trump if your" SoOoOOooO transparent" where are your tax returns? Just curious
msalanie the Court of Appeals threw out his request and sided with the other Courts request.
And the other phones to other world leaders that his admin put on the National security server. I would love to hear what he talked to Putin about.
He's transparent only in the sense that we can see through him and his lies.
msalanie I wouldn’t say any day now. I’d say it would be sometime next year if the Supreme Court decides to throw out the case, and even further into next year if they do decide to hear the case.
His taxes are none of your business
Like everything involving Trump, this “tease” is going to be all talk and no satisfaction. Just ask Melania.
Jacob Davenport 😂🤣
He'll probably release the transcript when he releases his tax returns.
@Robert Garcia Kinda sad for her. Sure she never gets hers, except by her own hand. Careful what you wish for I guess...
Ayoooo
Stephen shouldn’t be allowed to be off Mondays.......😎
He’s not. They film on Monday and it comes out Tuesday morning. He takes Sunday off.
“Nothing was done wrong”, other than the multiple crimes I committed to strong arm Ukraine
Everybody should check out today's New York Times article on the "journalist" John Solomon... Solomon is the root source of a lot of Trump's phony Ukraine conspiracies. Basically Solomon went digging around for sketchy Ukrainian sources who would tell him what he, Giuliani, & Trump wanted to hear, then Solomon presented the disinformation in the articles he wrote for the conservative media outlet "The Hill", and in his appearances on Hannity, etc... eventually Solomon's twisted "reporting" became too much even for The Hill, and they got rid of him, but he's still cruising around pro-Trump media spreading his lies & disinformation about Ukraine to millions of Americans.
Not forgetting the hush money payments while he was campaigning. Which is a FELONY on a separate report
@@willritter4076 Giuliani and Trump are both 2 peas in a pod. Complete un hinged loons
lunabranwen yup Mr. un-indicted co-conspirator. A nice jail cell made just for him. Maybe they’ll move Manafort and they can be cellies
@@kimclarke9745 maybe even H. Weinstiene could bunk up with them. They all slime bags
You could see that he had to stop and remind himself not to use two hands when drinking.
lol yeah you really could see the exact moment that crossed his mind.
Yeah, I noticed that.. as soon as he reached down I was thinking is he gunna use his other hand as we've seen in the past to 'stabilise' the glass.. and he did LOL! Then he remembers only kids in Pampers need to use both hands to drink and removes the steadying hand..
The glass is also super small to make sure lmao
I noticed that too. You could tell he really wanted to.
"Arctic blast" or Tuesday as we call it in Norway.
Mathias T.W.P keep warm from 🇨🇦Canada we know what you mean🥶🥶🥶
*Alaska clears its throat meaningfully* Achem.
@@chiefjetsonofflare5329 Didn't get that bad here, just around 0*C; only briefly had to get the fireplace going. It had amazing overnight survival - which was nice, save a little on matches.
@Laura P. Vanderbooben Uh, thanks?
“Most Transparent President in History”. Trump keeps saying those words. I don’t think they mean what he thinks they mean.
Pit Friend how many improv press conferences did Obama give again? Lol he’s answered more questions from the press than any other president before him, fact check me on that.
Inconceivable!
@@abaguirre8945 O.K I just fact checked you AB Aguirre and it turns out you’re right. Trump has lied to the press more than any other president before him.
AB Aguirre you may be right about that, because he doesn’t have a press secretary do them anymore, probably because he thinks they’ll just somehow screw up the lies he plans to answer the questions asked of him with.
He’s also likely on Stimulants and a lot of them, his confidence in his blatantly obvious and frankly poorly crafted lies is quite a sight to behold. What a strange president we’ve got.
James Lee ok so what’s your source? You just claim he’s lying or you got specific instances where he lied? Or is it what late night comedians want you to think?
"We repealed the Waters of the United States law, and almost everyone was crying because they were so happy that their rivers and lakes could now be used as dumping grounds for toxic chemicals and be drained dry to irrigate industrial farms."
WINNING?
But people will go right on thinking this doesn't affect them, that this is just a repeal on a regulation that cost money.
@Lynette Agueda Similar to how they banned NASA from saying "climate change". Or banned the CDC from ever funding ANY research into gun violence. Piece by piece America is sold to highest bidder. A government for the lobby, not the people.
@@Asher_Tye Sadly, when it does start affecting people, it's usually only one community at a time. Quite easy for Republicans to ignore and bury in red tape. Especially when the lobby money keep rolling in.
I tried calling, ..
1-900-QUID-PRO-OHHH
It's a busy signal.
Instead of Republicans paying people to flood the phone lines again, they are doing it themselves
@Brian Koski, hahahaha....good one !
But it was a perfect call anyway.
Merry Schiffmas everybody!!!! We're bringing back "Merry Schiffmas!" On the first day of Schiffmas, my Congress gave to me, Trump treason on an impeachment tree.
Is this schiffmas on the 25th?
Merry Schifmas!
Stephen: the phone call was very... revealing
Trump: there is another
"The smart people are clapping. Isn't that right my smart little seals! Only the smart seals get the fish".
You can hear Eric's heart breaking (again) when he reads that line about the first being the most important.
When Trump tells a lie, he is speaking his native tongue. Treason is, of course, his regional accent.
And it is the regional accent of his base, as well. Their shared fantasy that they need to be heavily armed in order to retain the capacity to take down the government is the literal embodiment of conspiracy to commit treason.
@@Gottenhimfella true that👍...
J Devlin that would be the Democrats, remember they control the TV and it’s content, so?
@@rosekiller123 🤣😂😅🤣😂
@@rosekiller123 Wow, still trying to prop up an unregistered sex offender with a porn star wife. Why? Unless you're one percent wealthy, *he's laughing at you.* Be smarter.
"Only the smart people are clapping." Nope. Those were the ones who got paid to clap.
Trump thinks, you are smart when you get money.
"What I'm hearing is troubling me... deeply."
"He had an innocent state of mind"---when you start using Forrest Gump as a defense,you've gone too far.
He always lies about "big strong people crying."
Wait... Lindsay Graham has balls???
Stacy Neuman *had 😂
Stacy Neuman, I'm surprised that his spine wasn't in the tree as well but that's probably because it's missing.
Yeah they are on the tree.
Stacy Neuman nope, and Republicans are realizing this, so? 😂
Oh you guys! I bet it’s another “perfect phone call” 😮 🤣
"And only the dumb ppl. r giving the speech" . To say this is priceless is an understatement.
I love how much Stephen enjoys himself when he messes up, never change
Interesting- when Stephen makes a mistake reading his prompter, he says "sorry" and corrects it rather than pretending that he meant to say it and coming up with a nonsensical phrase to incorporate it into the corrected sentence.
Did you catch him make a mistake right before that when his punchline was, "fox news." ?? I wonder what he meant to say?
“The stripper was already dead when she showed up” lol
Already dead in the cake. We didn't try and cut it
This joke is so old, get new material that doesn't further the harmful stigmas around sex workers. We shouldn't be joked about being killed. This is just gross.
We'll find his call "tantalizing?" Doesn't that essentially mean stimulating someone's desire for something they can't have?
Seems his English tutor may have requested that he try to use the word "tantalizing" in a sentence today.
... and he got it wrong.
Does anyone pay attention to his 'big strong men crying' stories anymore?
They were "Crying like dogs"
The phone hotline segment was hilarious!
"The stripper was already dead when she arrived"
Great , you should also do a Advent impeachment calendar
Hey, that's a great idea!
By releasing does he mean having his staff release a heavily edited summary?
At least it'd be easy to find out--if it makes sense, it's edited
@@rasmie8858 underrated comment
Will we ever get to hear/see about 20min that was left out?..
A phrase I well remember from my childhood: "But that doesn't make it right!"
"We did so much....(incoherent rambling)" *silence*
"We ended" * sleepy cheer*
Him: good they love me
Them: good he's leaving
And 12! Ha love how Stephen can make something exhausting funny! The impeachment is taking forever !!!!!!!
Good luck with that fake impeachment. It will fail like the Mueller witch hunt.
@@thegreatanointedlordtrump.336 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@thegreatanointedlordtrump.336 , lol......😂😂😂
@@thegreatanointedlordtrump.336 Be a good boy and take your foxycontin
The Great Lord Trump, Pity that you can't predict, Everything will fall in line. Don't you wish America to be great again.
Holy shit! I’m so freaking early! Also happy impeachment eve. 🔒 him up 💯
It’s beginning to look a lot like impeachment!
I lost it on that ending! The sound it makes when I'm laughing is like an old fashioned car horn. My neighbors must think I am crying my heart out or something, but it is actually just laughter.
When he said "impeachment tree" and I realized he was serious, I was unfortunately taking a drink and it literally dribbled out my mouth as I tried to contain my laughter.
The seal is the whistleblower. Just look at him blowing that instrument lol!
Me, in court after stabbing somebody 45 times: "But your honor, I was in an innocent state of mind, here's the footage of the crime! It's a perfect video!"
I'm so sick of this war on impeachmas, so hear I am to say Merry Impeachmas! Everyone!
Dream146 we will be saying merry impeachmas again
Thank you SC for helping the USA Smile.
"And only the dumb people are giving the speech" ...Good one!😂😂