Trump Teases Release Of "Tantalizing" First Phone Call With Ukraine

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  • Опубліковано 11 лис 2019
  • In an effort to distract everyone from the details of his "perfect" call with Ukraine's leader on July 25th, President Trump has signaled that he will release the transcript of an earlier call. #Monologue #Impeachment #Colbert
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,5 тис.

  • @terrasilvershade5678
    @terrasilvershade5678 4 роки тому +713

    “There’s not anything different said in that phone call than what the president says everyday.” Soooooo because he commits crimes everyday and admits to them everyday that’s fine???

    • @timothydavis9181
      @timothydavis9181 4 роки тому +19

      For Republicans it is

    • @CloudsGirl7
      @CloudsGirl7 4 роки тому +4

      No it's not, Terra. No it's not.

    • @Vimalth
      @Vimalth 4 роки тому +2

      Well if he says so? Who are we to doubt a Republican president?

    • @bugeye8749
      @bugeye8749 4 роки тому +2

      Yes. Because he’s *white*

    • @babyteano1977
      @babyteano1977 4 роки тому +2

      I guess for the Republicans it does.

  • @mroceans8336
    @mroceans8336 4 роки тому +362

    Release your taxes. Or at least pay them.

    • @brandonbenjamin9452
      @brandonbenjamin9452 4 роки тому +6

      Most Hated agreed

    • @shaneiapearson6977
      @shaneiapearson6977 4 роки тому +10

      Them taxes will send him straight to jail
      .DO NOT PASS GO

    • @daleludtke7803
      @daleludtke7803 4 роки тому +10

      @Craig G yep, why do you think he "moved to Florida." They have very relaxed laws on property ownership for bankruptcies. It might let him save some of his assets when NY takes him for decades worth of tax avoidance.

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 4 роки тому +6

      @Craig G - Actually, my understanding is that the federal judge basically told him "pfft, get outta here, take it up with the New York State court."

    • @Gottenhimfella
      @Gottenhimfella 4 роки тому +3

      Be reasonable. He owes hundreds of millions, possibly more. What do you think he is, made of money?

  • @southsider9638
    @southsider9638 4 роки тому +66

    The word "tantalizing" coming out of DT's mouth makes me feel violated and I want to lodge a complaint.

    • @mellymel6543
      @mellymel6543 4 роки тому +3

      get in line 😆

    • @foogonechill1765
      @foogonechill1765 4 роки тому +1

      U aint no south sider any real southsider dont say he a southsider

  • @karengummer6657
    @karengummer6657 4 роки тому +90

    1-900- Quid-Pro-Ohh is probably the funniest thing I have seen in a long time. Thank you for the laughter

  • @WildwoodClaire1
    @WildwoodClaire1 4 роки тому +42

    The ad for 1-900-Quid Pro OHHHH! is brilliant. The writers who came up with that deserve a raise.

  • @BRP42
    @BRP42 4 роки тому +643

    “Lindsay Graham’s balls : he’s not using them”. Classic!

    • @ellamone9998
      @ellamone9998 4 роки тому +8

      They look oddly the same as Trump's orange peachy tingey ones.

    • @jeannie3684
      @jeannie3684 4 роки тому +5

      “Little tiny mushroom” muncher, Lindsey doesn’t need his little tiny balls. Stumps has neutered all his boyfriends, he can’t handle the competition.

    • @jeannie3684
      @jeannie3684 4 роки тому +2

      @Chris Thompson Actually, please do!

    • @OldieBones
      @OldieBones 4 роки тому +5

      Soon to be the #1-selling Christmas gift.

    • @alfonsonuno
      @alfonsonuno 4 роки тому +1

      Classic!! Ever taste of victory!

  • @conniecrawford5231
    @conniecrawford5231 4 роки тому +98

    Who has ever heard of a phone call being described as “ perfect”? What an odd choice of words !

    • @steve8551
      @steve8551 4 роки тому +12

      I've been saying that ever since he first came out with that claim. In my whole life, I've never heard ANYONE describe a phone call as "perfect."

    • @jorgelujan9942
      @jorgelujan9942 4 роки тому +9

      It was THE ideal call: not too short but not too long, funny but also heartfelt, very at ease while also staying on topic concisely, witty but also engaging of the listener.
      Communications experts will be studying the perfect subtleties of this call for centuries.
      It will be known only as "The Call" ™️

    • @steve8551
      @steve8551 4 роки тому +3

      Jorge Lujan, I never looked at it this way. Maybe it really was perfect. Thanks for opening my eyes. 😁

    • @ajthegoat75
      @ajthegoat75 4 роки тому +2

      Jorge Lujan I keep telling y’all if y’all keep doing this to old ppl y’all in trouble. Please put warning ⚠️ signs on your comments, at least for me so I’ll know to put my Depends on. Damn I was ready to go to bed now I gotta take another freaking shower 🚿. I was just going over your comment seeing how it sounded in his dumb azz voice laughed so hard I cried laughing 😂 damn I should’ve had on my Depends. Y’all and that darn Colbert 😂 😂 😆 😆 on Point.

    • @samsmythe937
      @samsmythe937 4 роки тому +2

      @@jorgelujan9942 Are you suggesting the tRump moron is capable of all that? I know you're not, lol

  • @eponymousIme
    @eponymousIme 4 роки тому +194

    "Lindsey Graham's balls. He's not using them these days." Fell off my chair laughing.

    • @lunabranwen
      @lunabranwen 4 роки тому +4

      L. Grahm perfect example of a self serving boot licking no Integraty sort of career politician. TERM LIMITS !!

    • @agent7agent759
      @agent7agent759 4 роки тому

      I thought that was his thyroid glands

    • @DeusEx.Machina
      @DeusEx.Machina 4 роки тому

      FOMCL

    • @larrylichtenstein5428
      @larrylichtenstein5428 4 роки тому +1

      I thought they were buried with John McCain!

    • @surfdanceroceana6297
      @surfdanceroceana6297 4 роки тому

      Roman Charazian
      Thyroid glands look like a butterfly

  • @thegreatwalrus153
    @thegreatwalrus153 4 роки тому +380

    "We would get slaughtered if we pick Trump as our nominee and we will deserved it."
    ---- Lindsey Graham

    • @daleludtke7803
      @daleludtke7803 4 роки тому +33

      "If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed … and we will deserve it” was the actual quote... but yes, he sure has flipped a bit on that one hasn't he?

    • @thegreatwalrus153
      @thegreatwalrus153 4 роки тому +3

      @@daleludtke7803 sorry will edit was writing from memory

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 4 роки тому +4

      Where did he leave that suicide note?

    • @thegreatwalrus153
      @thegreatwalrus153 4 роки тому +3

      @@xmillion1704 twitter May 3 2016

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 4 роки тому +2

      @@thegreatwalrus153 - Cool, thanks. The question was rhetorical, I was just using it to float the concept of it being his suicide note.

  • @marcemson1121
    @marcemson1121 4 роки тому +315

    Imagine if Trump still had been a democrat when he got sworn into the office...
    The GOP would have been all over him, crying for his impeachment in a matter of "seconds".
    Think about that.

    • @MiguelGarcia-ft9gj
      @MiguelGarcia-ft9gj 4 роки тому +10

      Lindsey Graham’s balls would’ve been too big for that Christmas tree and we’d be hearing all about restoring honor and integrity to the office. What a hypocrite!

    • @ghasemahmadi3616
      @ghasemahmadi3616 4 роки тому +11

      Nanoseconds not seconds

    • @joannajamerson35
      @joannajamerson35 4 роки тому +8

      Exactly

    • @ADerpyReality
      @ADerpyReality 4 роки тому +1

      If DNC screws USA and puts Joe Biden in or Kamala Harris... They will.

    • @lottasunshine1325
      @lottasunshine1325 4 роки тому +7

      He never would have been elected if he ran as a Democrat. Just my opinion.

  • @Montesama314
    @Montesama314 4 роки тому +151

    "Nothing was done wrong" is a poor choice of words that implies "the crime went off without a hitch."

    • @sneeblads
      @sneeblads 4 роки тому +9

      right normally it'd be, "nothing wrong was done"

  • @ampleoloruntogbe1434
    @ampleoloruntogbe1434 4 роки тому +34

    If this was last week tonight, John Oliver’s team would make 1-900-QUID-PRO-OOOOH into a real line you can call into 😂😂

  • @Paradox_006
    @Paradox_006 4 роки тому +26

    Thank GOODNESS for Colbert! 💈

  • @iliketurtles6777
    @iliketurtles6777 4 роки тому +53

    That hotline skit had me rolling on the floor. Seriously the funniest shit I’ve seen in some time. Thank you good sir.

  • @maccyknife1
    @maccyknife1 4 роки тому +57

    Lennie in "Of Mice and Men" had an innocent state of mind...

    • @danbuckig4564
      @danbuckig4564 4 роки тому +1

      Trump isn't retarded, just corrupt and stupid. at least Lenny had an excuse

  • @KharisB.A
    @KharisB.A 4 роки тому +75

    "The smart people are clapping???" What an insult 😳😳😳😳😳.

    • @toddpunter6190
      @toddpunter6190 4 роки тому +3

      Yeah heads as empty buckets

    • @riverraisin1
      @riverraisin1 4 роки тому +4

      I think he meant the ones not clapping will be either fired or wearing cement shoes.

    • @ivonedefigueiredo9301
      @ivonedefigueiredo9301 4 роки тому

      Grace B. Addey Yes, and “only the dumb people are speaking”.

    • @samsmythe937
      @samsmythe937 4 роки тому +1

      And the dumb ones are standing behind the podium with the clap!

  • @kieragirl
    @kieragirl 4 роки тому +44

    Omg. There are peaches on that tree. Brilliant.

    • @milomirjukanovic3248
      @milomirjukanovic3248 4 роки тому +4

      Kieragirl i wouldn't notice if I wasn't scrolling through comments;) tnx

    • @kieragirl
      @kieragirl 4 роки тому +5

      Milomir Jukanovic Those golden Graham Balls are distracting.

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 4 роки тому +4

      @@kieragirl - They were going to feature trumpty's balls too, but they're slapping Graham's chin.

  • @wisetrollman
    @wisetrollman 4 роки тому +1143

    “In order to continue being the most transparent president in history”
    >still won’t release taxes

    • @zarakikon6352
      @zarakikon6352 4 роки тому +28

      I was thinking the exact same thing as soon as I heard him say that ! 😊👍

    • @cmdraftbrn
      @cmdraftbrn 4 роки тому +18

      he'd release them. but he's under audit. /s

    • @hippy_flippin
      @hippy_flippin 4 роки тому +13

      The hits keep on comin'😅

    • @lenthomas4685
      @lenthomas4685 4 роки тому +31

      @@cmdraftbrn I also never understood that lie. Why would someone spend money on lawyers to not have his taxes publicized if the problem was the IRS?

    • @MiguelGarcia-ft9gj
      @MiguelGarcia-ft9gj 4 роки тому +17

      I laughed so hard, I woke everybody up in my house!!

  • @edturner3437
    @edturner3437 4 роки тому +155

    trump is the most insecure person I've ever seen.

    • @mortalclown3812
      @mortalclown3812 4 роки тому +7

      Ed Turner It's to the degree that it could be - and undoubtedly will be - in psychology texts for many generations to come: Provided our planet survives his like.

    • @jakeryker546
      @jakeryker546 4 роки тому

      Definitely unlike the delusional lady who had a 'Madam President' book ready 😆

    • @stevenbryant4718
      @stevenbryant4718 4 роки тому +3

      I work with one of his supporters..... you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg. Characterising as insecure is a kind understatement!

    • @edturner3437
      @edturner3437 4 роки тому +4

      @@jakeryker546 can any of you trumpers stop deflecting for one damm second? I'm talking about trump not hillary who by the way has nothing to do with nor is responsible for the behavior of this sick old man currently in the white house. But know what, go ahead ignore his behavior. You always have and always will. Thanks for making America far less great.

    • @jennifermoriarty2188
      @jennifermoriarty2188 4 роки тому

      Can't be easy being the potus

  • @annedavis3340
    @annedavis3340 4 роки тому +73

    "The smart people are clapping" sounds like a threat.

    • @tomgreen1779
      @tomgreen1779 4 роки тому +4

      You better pretend you like it! I bet he's sad that before.

    • @danstrayer111
      @danstrayer111 4 роки тому +3

      just what Stalin would say

    • @veganperson
      @veganperson 4 роки тому

      I think he said that so people would clap, after all they don’t want to be dumb.

  • @marketbuy
    @marketbuy 4 роки тому +54

    LOCK HIM UP!

  • @Peter_S_
    @Peter_S_ 4 роки тому +141

    Merry Schiffmas and a Happy Blue Year, Patriots !!! 🎅

  • @tommyt1971
    @tommyt1971 4 роки тому +84

    Yeah, “most transparent President in history”. As in clear, as in zero substance.

  • @DBee-ee7tz
    @DBee-ee7tz 4 роки тому +26

    "Lindsey Graham's balls" on the impeachment tree ..."he's not using them these days" DED!😂
    ACTUAL SIZE 🤣

  • @gohstdog23
    @gohstdog23 4 роки тому +73

    " only the smart people are clapping " wtf!?🤣😂🤣 he actually has to insult them into clapping for him !?! I cant imagine Obama ever having to do that ,WOW!! 😂✊🏼 this guy is a real clown.

    • @MsElla415
      @MsElla415 4 роки тому +1

      We need more reaction buttons on FB

  • @opietaylor7649
    @opietaylor7649 4 роки тому +147

    This program is something special. Love it

  • @Annie-zd6rn
    @Annie-zd6rn 4 роки тому +18

    The ornaments should be orange's and peaches. There should've been some prison stripes on it.

  • @jacobd1984
    @jacobd1984 4 роки тому +116

    Like everything involving Trump, this “tease” is going to be all talk and no satisfaction. Just ask Melania.

    • @realzachfluke1
      @realzachfluke1 4 роки тому +2

      Jacob Davenport 😂🤣

    • @KingBobXVI
      @KingBobXVI 4 роки тому

      He'll probably release the transcript when he releases his tax returns.

    • @MrBlaktoe
      @MrBlaktoe 4 роки тому +1

      @Robert Garcia Kinda sad for her. Sure she never gets hers, except by her own hand. Careful what you wish for I guess...

    • @damiansaucedo9951
      @damiansaucedo9951 4 роки тому

      Ayoooo

  • @almamyers4
    @almamyers4 4 роки тому +22

    I am so tired!! But I have been waiting to watch this.

  • @georgebolter1696
    @georgebolter1696 4 роки тому +26

    The tree was very clever, great job studio staff!! 😎

  • @mori1bund
    @mori1bund 4 роки тому +39

    I've heard Jeffrey Dahmer had an "innocent state of mind" too.

  • @samjoseph1930
    @samjoseph1930 4 роки тому +18

    Stephen Cold beer. Refreshingly entertaining and enlightening.

  • @glassturf5584
    @glassturf5584 4 роки тому +43

    🎵Oh! Impeachment Tree!
    Oh! Impeachment Tree!
    How lovely were your phone call?🎵

  • @yankeeladee02
    @yankeeladee02 4 роки тому +192

    Stephen is PERFECT 🤩

    • @koek1122
      @koek1122 4 роки тому +6

      He really is. I went to this taping this afternoon and he was a delight. Came in to greet the audience, had a little q&a with us.. he was exciting and pumped and gave us all a feeling showbusiness isn't just stuffed with arrogant pricks.

    • @devernpinnock8176
      @devernpinnock8176 4 роки тому +1

      Stephen Colbert for pres 2020

    • @fatmaramadan6928
      @fatmaramadan6928 4 роки тому +1

      Yankeeladee02
      Stephen is perfect...... unlike the phone call to Ukraine.

  • @howardkerr8174
    @howardkerr8174 4 роки тому +5

    I was feeling quite depressed, thank you Mr Colbert for the pick-me-up.

  • @Wh0isTh3D0ct0r
    @Wh0isTh3D0ct0r 4 роки тому +388

    "Nothing was done wrong." -Every criminal ever

    • @censusgary
      @censusgary 4 роки тому +10

      When I was a paralegal, I had to get information about clients’ legal history, and if someone had, say, a conviction for armed robbery, that person would almost always say. “But that isn’t a problem.” Maybe not for you, buddy, but ...

    • @oobaka1967
      @oobaka1967 4 роки тому +12

      trump's way of saying "I didn't do nothing.
      Those aren't my drugs. I was just holding them for a friend"

    • @nasalegoboy
      @nasalegoboy 4 роки тому +3

      "Shawshank is full of people who didn't do it"

    • @paradisepipeco
      @paradisepipeco 4 роки тому +7

      No collusion.
      It was a perfect call.
      There was no quid pro quo.
      I did not have sex with that woman.
      I am not a crook.
      I didn't see the stop sign.
      I didn't know it was loaded.
      It meant nothing to me, Honey.
      I thought she was eighteen, Your Honor.
      (etc. ad nauseam)

    • @Jauvajs
      @Jauvajs 4 роки тому

      Seriously you guys are just like anti-vaxxers, ignore 90% of evidence pointing to Trump being right, but there is one source that agrees with me so I only listen to that.
      I am not Trump supporter, just a guy from Europe sick of this ridiculous witch hunt.

  • @daveedwards6653
    @daveedwards6653 4 роки тому +53

    "Iwas waiting for that.. Only the Smart People clapped...only the smart ones.."
    Wow...

    • @ultonian63
      @ultonian63 4 роки тому +12

      Dave Edwards yep, what an utter asshat.

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 4 роки тому +7

      That's what he was saying? To me it sounded like he was screaming, "I'm so fucking insecure!!!!!!" Hmmm that's weird.

    • @ArcaJ
      @ArcaJ 4 роки тому +4

      Literally a grade school mentality. I mean, I heard that joke IN GRADE SCHOOL.

  • @Vanadisphoto
    @Vanadisphoto 4 роки тому +46

    *_It's beginning to look a lot like Impechmas, every where I go..._*

    • @virgo-in-cyn1537
      @virgo-in-cyn1537 4 роки тому +1

      Michel F It’s beginning to look a lot like Schiffmas!! MERRY SCHIFFMAS EVE everyone! 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

  • @Admiralty86
    @Admiralty86 4 роки тому +2

    The phone hotline segment was hilarious!

  • @wilmafistfit4788
    @wilmafistfit4788 4 роки тому +21

    We got the “quid pro snow”

  • @thesmileyeffect
    @thesmileyeffect 4 роки тому +31

    The tree is perfect!

  • @kellykurenoff1692
    @kellykurenoff1692 4 роки тому +13

    Omg that “tantalizing” phone call was awesome!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @beckv8526
    @beckv8526 4 роки тому +1

    I will be glued to the tv today! I haven't felt this good in 3 years!

  • @HappyDad408
    @HappyDad408 4 роки тому +77

    “And only the dumb people are giving the speech”
    This is why you come here , good comedy and actual politics nowadays. Thank you Late Show

  • @WattWireNet
    @WattWireNet 4 роки тому +469

    When he says "The most transparent president ever.", he must see himself as lobotomized jellyfish.

    • @sanctifiedsuccubus2562
      @sanctifiedsuccubus2562 4 роки тому +9

      Jellyfish don't really have brains... so that's kinda redundant. But I 100% agree with your sentiment XD

    • @Ratboy2004
      @Ratboy2004 4 роки тому

      Just like Lady Macbeth didn't kill the king..

    • @Duhbella
      @Duhbella 4 роки тому +4

      @@sanctifiedsuccubus2562 yet.. it's somehow still accurate

    • @jamesproimos
      @jamesproimos 4 роки тому +5

      The claim centers around the fact that, although he constantly lies, the lies he tells are so easily proven false that nobody can be fooled (unwillingly) by them. The fact that his dishonesty is so blatant technically makes it transparency because everyone can "see right through him".

    • @Trottelheimer
      @Trottelheimer 4 роки тому +6

      You can certainly see straight through him. I pity the fools who believe "he plays N-dimensional chess". Nope, he's a straight up simpleton; there's zero shrewdness, only a perpetual trumpster-fire fuelled by pure idiocy.

  • @juschu85
    @juschu85 4 роки тому +132

    "Look at the first phone call. It was perfect"
    just like
    "Officer, look at this video. It was taken when I met the victim 10 days before he was murdered and it clearly shows how I'm not murdering him."

    • @Bill_Garthright
      @Bill_Garthright 4 роки тому +12

      Yup. I'm definitely not guilty of robbing that bank either, because here's a picture of me in the bank earlier, when I _wasn't_ robbing it. :)

    • @Jauvajs
      @Jauvajs 4 роки тому

      And another one, who only read the headlines and not the actual trannscript.

    • @juschu85
      @juschu85 4 роки тому +7

      ​@@Jauvajs How should I read the actual transcript? It's on a classified government server. I did only read the edited transcript Trump himself released. That transcript alone is "only" a little bit fishy. Asking for a favor right after Zelensky was talking about buying more Javelins isn't hard evidence for anything but it already points in a certain direction.
      But how much worth is evidence that was provided by the suspect himself? It's basically like if someone who is accused of murder is showing the judge a knife, says that this is the murder weapon and there are no fingerprints or DNA traces from him on it. Any evidence provided by a suspect himself can't exonerate the suspect if the suspect had the possibility to manipulate the evidence.
      But while the transcript, even the version Trump himself released, is helpful to impeach him, we don't even need it anymore. After all those testimonies that accuse Trump of doing exactly what the whistleblower said he did, the transcript and even the whistleblower himself are completely irrelevant.
      And as long as there isn't any Fox News interview in which those witnesses say that they didn't say in the hearing what the press is claiming they said, I will assume what the press is reporting about the substance of those testimonies is correct. And that doesn't make Trump look good.
      I mean if the press would say you said A but you know you said B, you wouldn't just sit there and do nothing. Especially if you know the president of the United States has your back and there is a national news channel that would love to do an interview with you if you want to support the president. But I don't see that happening.

    • @paradisepipeco
      @paradisepipeco 4 роки тому +4

      I don't see how you can dispute the statement of our Great Orange Leader that it was a perfect call.
      He dialed the correct number, he didn't hold the phone upside down, and he never once dropped the telemaphone machine on his toe. Perfectamundo, mon frère.

    • @paradisepipeco
      @paradisepipeco 4 роки тому +3

      ​@@juschu85 I think it proves how Trump is a caring individual for providing what evidence he has. Yes, he did not supply the complete transcript of the phone call, after editing out all the good parts, but he did provide some of it free to us at absolutely no charge. And he has repeatedly admitted to some of his crimes openly on TV in front of his hellimacopter.
      The glass is half full. Please do not urinate into the fog and be a pissamist.
      Please do not throw out the baby, the dog, and the parakeet with the bathwater.
      Trump by his own royal decree is a very stable genius** (see disclaimer below). After all, ninety-eleven bazillion red hat lemmings can't be wrong. And please, I beseech thee, do not be so snooty by attacking so rudely our mighty whitey Commander In Cheese.
      In support of my above asstoot remarks, I submit the following reprint of my previous heartfelt comment:
      ~ ~ ~
      You liberals miss the point. Quid pro quo is irrelevant.
      It is Latin, a dead language, and nobody speaks Latin anymore anywhere in the world outside the Catholic Church. So therefore, unless it can be proven beyond doubt that Mulvaney, Trump, and Zelensky are all Catholic, this obviously does not apply. And "Quid" is slang for an English pound. Try spending that at your local liquor store and see how far you get. A "Quid" may be good in Great Britain, but don't forget that we separated from them a long time ago. Stop picking on our Great Leader. He knows what is best for us. He is building the wall in Colorado to protect us, one and all.
      Remember where your irresponsible wild allegations come from. Wild allegations come from wild alligators, everybody knows that. What do reptiles know, anyway? Trump had to drain the swamp to catch all those 'gators and snakes for the moat, so of course the 'gators are unhappy and hate our beloved president. Walt Kelly taught us they were happy in their infested swamp, where Hillary and Obama left them to run amok like animals. It takes a long moat along the wall to protect us from those bad hombres, and that takes a lot of 'gators and snakes. Thankfully, dem dare ’gators be hungry, and dey love dem some Mexican cuisine. (Es muy caliente en la boca.)
      Stop the witch hunt. Witches are girls, and if you demon rats and mice would come out of your secret basement cave headquarters, you'd see our Commander in Cheese is no girl. Anyone can see that. He doesn't even like girls. He grabs them by the hoo-hah to protect us and keep them away. You will understand when the aliens come and you do not have your tinfoil lined MAGA hat. Then you will understand what MAGA really means, "Make Aliens Go Away".
      Like I said in the beginning, Quid pro quo is irrelevant, and that is the symbol of our party, and you aren't invited. Elevants belong in the circus, and we are doing our best to create a complete circus all true Americans can enjoy.
      However, due to circus-dances beyond our control, some heffalumps is invisible, and that is why we cannot see the elevant in the room.
      ~ ~ ~
      ** In the spirit of clarity and full disclosure, I am compelled to point out that the term "Stable Genius" does not imply sanity . . . It merely means that the Trumpus Orangatanus sleeps with the horses out in the stable, and is allegedly smarter than the rest of the horses.
      What I want to know is what happened to the front part of the horse.
      For further study:
      ua-cam.com/video/k-LTRwZb35A/v-deo.html
      .

  • @richardthomas9026
    @richardthomas9026 4 роки тому +5

    Side note: john Baptist is crafty on the ivory. Frfr

  • @TheReal008Zulu
    @TheReal008Zulu 4 роки тому +58

    That bulletproof glass he hid behind for the Veteran's Day speech is the only thing transparent about him.

  • @ChandlerSomborac
    @ChandlerSomborac 4 роки тому +6

    I can always count on Colbert to lift up my spirits after a hard night's work.

  • @AmigoRigo
    @AmigoRigo 4 роки тому +60

    Stephen: the phone call was very... revealing
    Trump: there is another

  • @proud2bpagan
    @proud2bpagan 4 роки тому +14

    "He had an innocent state of mind"---when you start using Forrest Gump as a defense,you've gone too far.

  • @akowalz
    @akowalz 4 роки тому +144

    The tree had an outline of Ukraine covered in candy canes. U-candy-crane

    • @jimsvideos7201
      @jimsvideos7201 4 роки тому +6

      Good catch!

    • @heatherbleu5370
      @heatherbleu5370 4 роки тому +9

      Figgy puddin = figgy Putin

    • @tonib.3016
      @tonib.3016 4 роки тому +2

      I would never have figured that out! Great observation.

    • @xmillion1704
      @xmillion1704 4 роки тому +6

      I was struggling to make that one out, so eager and anxious am I, like a little kid on impeachment eve!

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 роки тому +1

      I love Stephen and the team!

  • @hellcat1988
    @hellcat1988 4 роки тому +37

    You could see that he had to stop and remind himself not to use two hands when drinking.

    • @frequencydecline5250
      @frequencydecline5250 4 роки тому +3

      lol yeah you really could see the exact moment that crossed his mind.

    • @jonmassey8124
      @jonmassey8124 4 роки тому +2

      Yeah, I noticed that.. as soon as he reached down I was thinking is he gunna use his other hand as we've seen in the past to 'stabilise' the glass.. and he did LOL! Then he remembers only kids in Pampers need to use both hands to drink and removes the steadying hand..

    • @rasmie8858
      @rasmie8858 4 роки тому

      The glass is also super small to make sure lmao

    • @kaylapatterson8695
      @kaylapatterson8695 4 роки тому

      I noticed that too. You could tell he really wanted to.

  • @screamingphoenix8113
    @screamingphoenix8113 4 роки тому +9

    "The smart people are clapping. Isn't that right my smart little seals! Only the smart seals get the fish".

  • @mathiastwp
    @mathiastwp 4 роки тому +70

    "Arctic blast" or Tuesday as we call it in Norway.

    • @chiefjetsonofflare5329
      @chiefjetsonofflare5329 4 роки тому +4

      Mathias T.W.P keep warm from 🇨🇦Canada we know what you mean🥶🥶🥶

    • @ariandynas
      @ariandynas 4 роки тому +4

      *Alaska clears its throat meaningfully* Achem.

    • @mathiastwp
      @mathiastwp 4 роки тому +1

      @@chiefjetsonofflare5329 Didn't get that bad here, just around 0*C; only briefly had to get the fireplace going. It had amazing overnight survival - which was nice, save a little on matches.

    • @ariandynas
      @ariandynas 4 роки тому +1

      @Laura P. Vanderbooben Uh, thanks?

  • @digitaliq9136
    @digitaliq9136 4 роки тому +75

    Can we impeach his whole cabinet and VP Pence? Trump impeachment good, but we need all them gone. #PresidentPelosi

    • @okkietrooy7941
      @okkietrooy7941 4 роки тому +1

      Most importantly the Senate has to turn blue and Mitch McConnell has to go. If the senate stays in republican hands than a democratic president will be a lame duck.
      Generally speaking I am not in favor of one party having house, senate and presidency.
      But in the current situation it will be essential to prevent another 4 years of bickering and nothing getting accomplished.

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 роки тому

      We'll vote all those bastards out!

  • @deathbecomesher6412
    @deathbecomesher6412 4 роки тому +389

    I’m setting up my impeachment tree as we speak lol

    • @thegreatanointedlordtrump.336
      @thegreatanointedlordtrump.336 4 роки тому +1

      I'm your great white hope!

    • @laraxify
      @laraxify 4 роки тому +10

      that's the Spirit!

    • @MohsinKhan-nn6xu
      @MohsinKhan-nn6xu 4 роки тому +5

      *Nice, Ignore all the Trump defender inbreds and Russian 🇷🇺 trolls*

    • @thegreatanointedlordtrump.336
      @thegreatanointedlordtrump.336 4 роки тому

      Impeachment is going to fail. You fakes have no choice but to get run over by the Trump train in 2020!+

    • @dontfearlife2423
      @dontfearlife2423 4 роки тому +3

      The Great Anointed Lord Trump. Wow you dump supporters claim to be so smart but you don’t see the big picture. Let me explain it for you. We know it’s not gonna get passed the senate but they’re doing to him what he did to Hillary destroying his image for 2020 by releasing everything. Duh!!!!

  • @corytc5095
    @corytc5095 4 роки тому +189

    Trump if your" SoOoOOooO transparent" where are your tax returns? Just curious

    • @BuzryHaproMandalorianHunter
      @BuzryHaproMandalorianHunter 4 роки тому

      msalanie the Court of Appeals threw out his request and sided with the other Courts request.

    • @kellen5545
      @kellen5545 4 роки тому +5

      And the other phones to other world leaders that his admin put on the National security server. I would love to hear what he talked to Putin about.

    • @DarthEquus
      @DarthEquus 4 роки тому +10

      He's transparent only in the sense that we can see through him and his lies.

    • @realzachfluke1
      @realzachfluke1 4 роки тому

      msalanie I wouldn’t say any day now. I’d say it would be sometime next year if the Supreme Court decides to throw out the case, and even further into next year if they do decide to hear the case.

    • @thehusketeers4319
      @thehusketeers4319 4 роки тому +1

      His taxes are none of your business

  • @nicholassmith7984
    @nicholassmith7984 4 роки тому +27

    Does anyone pay attention to his 'big strong men crying' stories anymore?

  • @Muritaipet
    @Muritaipet 4 роки тому +13

    OK. At 7.02 the "Quid Pro Ohh" advert really really needs to run on TV as a real thing

  • @kalaya01
    @kalaya01 4 роки тому +38

    He always lies about "big strong people crying."

  • @Baekstrom
    @Baekstrom 4 роки тому +5

    I lost it on that ending! The sound it makes when I'm laughing is like an old fashioned car horn. My neighbors must think I am crying my heart out or something, but it is actually just laughter.

  • @l.a.gothro3999
    @l.a.gothro3999 4 роки тому +3

    A phrase I well remember from my childhood: "But that doesn't make it right!"

  • @Logai74
    @Logai74 4 роки тому +16

    As soon as he said strong people i knew that he would say that they were crying! Old classic!

  • @briankoski2532
    @briankoski2532 4 роки тому +52

    I tried calling, ..
    1-900-QUID-PRO-OHHH
    It's a busy signal.

    • @timothydavis9181
      @timothydavis9181 4 роки тому +1

      Instead of Republicans paying people to flood the phone lines again, they are doing it themselves

    • @patriciaevins6267
      @patriciaevins6267 4 роки тому

      @Brian Koski, hahahaha....good one !

    • @tomt6963
      @tomt6963 4 роки тому +1

      But it was a perfect call anyway.

  • @KN-wl4vv
    @KN-wl4vv 4 роки тому +5

    When he said "impeachment tree" and I realized he was serious, I was unfortunately taking a drink and it literally dribbled out my mouth as I tried to contain my laughter.

  • @PitFriend1
    @PitFriend1 4 роки тому +429

    “Most Transparent President in History”. Trump keeps saying those words. I don’t think they mean what he thinks they mean.

    • @abaguirre8945
      @abaguirre8945 4 роки тому +2

      Pit Friend how many improv press conferences did Obama give again? Lol he’s answered more questions from the press than any other president before him, fact check me on that.

    • @none-gu9xs
      @none-gu9xs 4 роки тому +18

      Inconceivable!

    • @AhrimanThorn
      @AhrimanThorn 4 роки тому +43

      @@abaguirre8945 O.K I just fact checked you AB Aguirre and it turns out you’re right. Trump has lied to the press more than any other president before him.

    • @JamesLeeBuzz
      @JamesLeeBuzz 4 роки тому +19

      AB Aguirre you may be right about that, because he doesn’t have a press secretary do them anymore, probably because he thinks they’ll just somehow screw up the lies he plans to answer the questions asked of him with.
      He’s also likely on Stimulants and a lot of them, his confidence in his blatantly obvious and frankly poorly crafted lies is quite a sight to behold. What a strange president we’ve got.

    • @abaguirre8945
      @abaguirre8945 4 роки тому +1

      James Lee ok so what’s your source? You just claim he’s lying or you got specific instances where he lied? Or is it what late night comedians want you to think?

  • @blipmachine
    @blipmachine 4 роки тому +259

    Don't mind me, I'm just selling popcorn for the series finale of the trump presidency.
    🍿🍿🍿

    • @GodzillaMonsters8
      @GodzillaMonsters8 4 роки тому +5

      I’ll take one, how much?

    • @blipmachine
      @blipmachine 4 роки тому +3

      @@GodzillaMonsters8 1 view on the vid + 1 like / reply on this comment. Here you go, enjoy: 🍿

    • @gladtravis
      @gladtravis 4 роки тому +2

      Hate to be Negative Nancy but it's not even looking like a single House Republican will vote for impeach, to say nothing of Senators (aka jurors) who have been openly making out with the defendant (President Mar-A-Lardass) in public. Our democracy had a good ride. It's about to executed when Republicans let this shitstain off the hook.

    • @kaivickers166
      @kaivickers166 4 роки тому +2

      Blip Machine - I’ll take one. Don’t skimp on the butter, salt and Thorazine.

    • @erikeggenbakstad
      @erikeggenbakstad 4 роки тому

      Business is good I reckon 😁😁😁

  • @valdirbruxeljunior
    @valdirbruxeljunior 4 роки тому +629

    “Only the smart people are clapping” - Trump isn’t clapping

    • @beckv8526
      @beckv8526 4 роки тому +5

      Omg! You killed me! 😂😂😂😂😂

    • @seanascala5683
      @seanascala5683 4 роки тому +7

      HAA HAA!!!!

    • @DresdenShuffle
      @DresdenShuffle 4 роки тому +19

      "I was waiting for you to clap"
      What a complete narcissist thinking everything he says deserves to be clapped.

    • @d.thomasmoore3020
      @d.thomasmoore3020 4 роки тому +1

      Just 20 minutes ago I watched 5 sheep in the top paddock clapping along while singing 'Kumbaya my lord'. Stupid sheep.

    • @patbyrne3076
      @patbyrne3076 4 роки тому +9

      He’s in a setting to give a speech and disses half the audience without hesitation. Whatta jerk. He’s usually clapping for himself like a trained circus animal.

  • @PretenderCS
    @PretenderCS 4 роки тому +24

    8:42 he is turning into Jeb Bush. That was a "please clap" moment.
    and 8:52 "...by a very *white* margin."

  • @emmajones9975
    @emmajones9975 4 роки тому +7

    "And only the dumb ppl. r giving the speech" . To say this is priceless is an understatement.

  • @gnomevoyeur
    @gnomevoyeur 4 роки тому +7

    You can hear Eric's heart breaking (again) when he reads that line about the first being the most important.

  • @DarthShande
    @DarthShande 4 роки тому +22

    By releasing does he mean having his staff release a heavily edited summary?

    • @rasmie8858
      @rasmie8858 4 роки тому +2

      At least it'd be easy to find out--if it makes sense, it's edited

    • @Dori744
      @Dori744 4 роки тому

      @@rasmie8858 underrated comment

    • @chrissiek8706
      @chrissiek8706 4 роки тому

      Will we ever get to hear/see about 20min that was left out?..

  • @dragoncrash1234
    @dragoncrash1234 4 роки тому +1

    I’m down here in Texas and the other day the temperature dropped 20 degrees in ONE HOUR. keep in mind this is TEXAS!!

  • @agirlandhercat6543
    @agirlandhercat6543 4 роки тому +9

    "And only the dumb people are giving the speech" ...Good one!😂😂

  • @lawsonc12
    @lawsonc12 4 роки тому +27

    Great , you should also do a Advent impeachment calendar

  • @anthonyellis4915
    @anthonyellis4915 4 роки тому +376

    Okay. So, the president most likely has a severe case of narcissism but his supporters have no clue what narcissism is. Fantastic.

    • @srkh8966
      @srkh8966 4 роки тому +21

      Anthony Ellis Nor would they care if they knew.

    • @miapdx503
      @miapdx503 4 роки тому +30

      These are the same people who accept his sex crimes. And his serial adultery. And all his lies. And they do this, a lot 🙈🙉🙊

    • @kathleenmitchell1582
      @kathleenmitchell1582 4 роки тому +4

      @@miapdx503 They sure do.

    • @jordanmatthei9404
      @jordanmatthei9404 4 роки тому +6

      Too many syllables for your basic Trump supporter....

    • @theblade9024
      @theblade9024 4 роки тому +17

      @@miapdx503 you mean evangelical "Christians"? They spent all of Obama's years telling us they had morals, family values, and respect for law and order. All lies.

  • @Oglokoog
    @Oglokoog 4 роки тому +7

    "What I'm hearing is troubling me... deeply."

  • @elakeyy
    @elakeyy 4 роки тому +4

    “Trumps treat....,sorry trumps Threat” lol

  • @wtfisthishandlebullshit
    @wtfisthishandlebullshit 4 роки тому +32

    Happy Impeachment Eve!!

  • @riosricardo7400
    @riosricardo7400 4 роки тому +60

    Stephen shouldn’t be allowed to be off Mondays.......😎

    • @joshuamarsella
      @joshuamarsella 4 роки тому +1

      He’s not. They film on Monday and it comes out Tuesday morning. He takes Sunday off.

  • @professionalamatuer8064
    @professionalamatuer8064 4 роки тому +10

    The tree also needed Rand Paul's spine.

  • @SC-dr4wk
    @SC-dr4wk 4 роки тому +9

    He is literally so good at trump's mimicry

  • @kimclarke9745
    @kimclarke9745 4 роки тому +252

    “Nothing was done wrong”, other than the multiple crimes I committed to strong arm Ukraine

    • @willritter4076
      @willritter4076 4 роки тому +10

      Everybody should check out today's New York Times article on the "journalist" John Solomon... Solomon is the root source of a lot of Trump's phony Ukraine conspiracies. Basically Solomon went digging around for sketchy Ukrainian sources who would tell him what he, Giuliani, & Trump wanted to hear, then Solomon presented the disinformation in the articles he wrote for the conservative media outlet "The Hill", and in his appearances on Hannity, etc... eventually Solomon's twisted "reporting" became too much even for The Hill, and they got rid of him, but he's still cruising around pro-Trump media spreading his lies & disinformation about Ukraine to millions of Americans.

    • @lunabranwen
      @lunabranwen 4 роки тому +3

      Not forgetting the hush money payments while he was campaigning. Which is a FELONY on a separate report

    • @lunabranwen
      @lunabranwen 4 роки тому +5

      @@willritter4076 Giuliani and Trump are both 2 peas in a pod. Complete un hinged loons

    • @kimclarke9745
      @kimclarke9745 4 роки тому

      lunabranwen yup Mr. un-indicted co-conspirator. A nice jail cell made just for him. Maybe they’ll move Manafort and they can be cellies

    • @lunabranwen
      @lunabranwen 4 роки тому

      @@kimclarke9745 maybe even H. Weinstiene could bunk up with them. They all slime bags

  • @nadiavoun7137
    @nadiavoun7137 4 роки тому +57

    "Only the smart people are clapping." Nope. Those were the ones who got paid to clap.

    • @okkietrooy7941
      @okkietrooy7941 4 роки тому +2

      Trump thinks, you are smart when you get money.

  • @rsaldivar5628
    @rsaldivar5628 4 роки тому +16

    "We did so much....(incoherent rambling)" *silence*
    "We ended" * sleepy cheer*
    Him: good they love me
    Them: good he's leaving

  • @loglog7
    @loglog7 4 роки тому +4

    "only the smart people are clapping" I cringed so hard I think I might be inside out someone help.

  • @Elonpocalyps420
    @Elonpocalyps420 4 роки тому +23

    It’s beginning to look a lot like impeachment!

  • @stacyneuman8619
    @stacyneuman8619 4 роки тому +31

    Wait... Lindsay Graham has balls???

    • @brandonbenjamin9452
      @brandonbenjamin9452 4 роки тому +6

      Stacy Neuman *had 😂

    • @zarakikon6352
      @zarakikon6352 4 роки тому +3

      Stacy Neuman, I'm surprised that his spine wasn't in the tree as well but that's probably because it's missing.

    • @Pyxis10
      @Pyxis10 4 роки тому +1

      Yeah they are on the tree.

    • @rosekiller123
      @rosekiller123 4 роки тому +1

      Stacy Neuman nope, and Republicans are realizing this, so? 😂

  • @kathryn3950
    @kathryn3950 4 роки тому +4

    STOP CALLING THE PHONE CALL PERFECT! Also, what does that even mean?!

    • @hawkeye5955
      @hawkeye5955 4 роки тому

      It's perfect as in "perfect evidence for impeachment"

  • @robinswanson3974
    @robinswanson3974 4 роки тому +22

    We should talk about his state of mind. yikes

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 4 роки тому +1

      See, that makes an erroneous assumption that President 💩, like his cult members, even has a mind.

    • @samsmythe937
      @samsmythe937 4 роки тому

      A talk about his state of mind would be a VERY short conversation because he doesn't have a mind!

    • @foogonechill1765
      @foogonechill1765 4 роки тому

      Lmao all u liberals want is free money with out having to step out from your houses

    • @robinswanson3974
      @robinswanson3974 4 роки тому

      @@foogonechill1765 tell us what you really think!

    • @Chunkboi
      @Chunkboi 4 роки тому

      shhh k. 👈 case in point.

  • @AngryKittens
    @AngryKittens 4 роки тому +85

    "We repealed the Waters of the United States law, and almost everyone was crying because they were so happy that their rivers and lakes could now be used as dumping grounds for toxic chemicals and be drained dry to irrigate industrial farms."

    • @ArcaJ
      @ArcaJ 4 роки тому +2

      WINNING?

    • @Asher_Tye
      @Asher_Tye 4 роки тому +2

      But people will go right on thinking this doesn't affect them, that this is just a repeal on a regulation that cost money.

    • @AngryKittens
      @AngryKittens 4 роки тому +1

      @Lynette Agueda Similar to how they banned NASA from saying "climate change". Or banned the CDC from ever funding ANY research into gun violence. Piece by piece America is sold to highest bidder. A government for the lobby, not the people.

    • @AngryKittens
      @AngryKittens 4 роки тому +1

      @@Asher_Tye Sadly, when it does start affecting people, it's usually only one community at a time. Quite easy for Republicans to ignore and bury in red tape. Especially when the lobby money keep rolling in.

  • @martinnibataan7046
    @martinnibataan7046 4 роки тому +91

    Oh he is perfect allright,
    perfectly insane...

    • @BarryWaterlow
      @BarryWaterlow 4 роки тому +2

      -Kinder- Martinni Bataan clever

    • @couragekarnga8735
      @couragekarnga8735 4 роки тому +1

      He thinks he's special. He's the kind of special you put in a straitjacket.

  • @stephenburley4581
    @stephenburley4581 4 роки тому +10

    "Only the smart people are clapping." - Trump says as he does not clap.

  • @nbbim2012
    @nbbim2012 4 роки тому +19

    I love how much Stephen enjoys himself when he messes up, never change

  • @powderedtoastfacekillah734
    @powderedtoastfacekillah734 4 роки тому +31

    “That seal can blow”
    “Yeah that thang swangin boy woo woo woo”

  • @Strype13
    @Strype13 4 роки тому +68

    We'll find his call "tantalizing?" Doesn't that essentially mean stimulating someone's desire for something they can't have?
    Seems his English tutor may have requested that he try to use the word "tantalizing" in a sentence today.

    • @censusgary
      @censusgary 4 роки тому +2

      ... and he got it wrong.

  • @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp
    @WilliamHBaird-eq2hp 4 роки тому +4

    It was "Perfect Call" to "Impeach Trump"!

  • @cjaypaz9842
    @cjaypaz9842 4 роки тому +6

    The most important call is the one where he committed the offense...

  • @nisterror
    @nisterror 4 роки тому +38

    "The stripper was already dead when she arrived"