Would you have preferred a wealthier, better family to raise you & give you “a better life” ? This needless glorification of adoptive parents must stop. It’s a biological fact that in vast majority of the cases kids have a need to belong to their biological mothers where they have a genetic connection. Ripping them away from their mother is a brutal thing. The infant has zero say in this very traumatic change in their lives. Society must try and provide resources to birth mothers to try and ensure that majority of mothers are able to keep and raise their child. Stigmas like unwed motherhood, etc don’t need to exist. Also poverty is a major cause in adoption. If we provide the birth mother with resources she will in most cases try to keep and raise a baby. No one is entitled a child. If some couple is experiencing infertility they don’t automatically have claim on another baby. Babies aren’t possessions. Adoptions, especially infant adoptions shouldn’t exist or should be exceedingly rare. Period!
Yes they give her a good future but think ... She had lost all the memories about her mother ... Family it's horrific and she did not wish for good life she wishes for the connection with roots
Rightly said. But not correct. Better future is not may be required by the children. When they grow up they would want to go to the biological parents telling I don't want riches. BUT adoptive parents gave them life,because of them they are alive today, as these children were not always given for adoption but left and abandoned on the streets also. They(adoptive parents) also gave them unconditional love like real parents. So adoptive parents are the real parents. This does not demean biological parents but never greater than the adoptive parents, for sure.
I feel so much for the older lady, especially when she said if she did her search 10 years earlier she could've been able to help her mum. Only to find out later on in the documentary about the quality of her mum's life and the state of her burial grave, and the situation with her father's grave. I can't imagine the pain.
There's only so much space in a graveyard. I thought it is normal that people "rent" a plot fo 20 to 35 years or so. At least that's what it is like in many German communities over here. So I was a bit shocked about her outrage... but can understand her emotional rollercoaster- reaction... different culture, disappointment, anger
Situation with her fathers grave ??? I mean how much extra land can you allocate in a city cemetry ?? It is obvious even your forefathers in your own country's cemetry is dumped one upon another.. Do you think people will bury in extra stretch of land with a city like Kolkata or Calcutta thats populated with 15 million. Its the 17th most populated city in the whole world.. Having emotional response is acceptable but having unrealistic expectation after 10-15 yrs of death with no one to serve the area and then blaming it on local people is equally horrible.
@@mixfy926 you make good sense as you are able to reason by just watching. This gal got “ hit by bricks from all directions “ . I would have reacted the same way then call myself out after processing all the information. Let’s cut her some slack.
When she gave birth to you, proves that she loved you and wanted to give birth. The pain a mother tolerate to give birth prove her love..A mother is as good as the creator of universe as she create a life by tolerating so much of pain..My heartiest respect to all the mothers of the universe..🙏
My stepdaughter wanted no children. She became pregnant and was devastated. We also thought she would bond thru pregnancy. Nope.. She didn't even want him after he was born. She kept him out of obligation, which is what she says. He's 15 now. There is still no bond.
whole bengal is poor i have been there in iit kharagpur my brother was iitan and one thing up is so much better than bengal its like slum and they are continue on decresing path.
@@AbhishekSingh-zv2tn UPwallahs talking seriously 😂🤣. Most up for adoption were Bihari and UP beggars who had migrated to Kolkata. UP has the second lowest per capita GDP in India. There have been adoptions from all over India you do know that right ? Recently a Tamil woman who had been adopted in France returned to Chennai.
Teri darling, feeling all the same emotions as you just watching this but love you need to understand you can't afford to be angry at how your parents were laid to rest. That is how the way of the world is in India especially for those less fortunate. You are a strong woman and you continue to live the life your mother would have wanted for you ❤️ take care
I feel deep compassion for the girls. They've been through a lot. However they must appreciate their adoptive parents. Don't disregard the unconditional love. Terry was very hurt and angry at times, which is understood. It would soften her heart to see that her adoptive parents are there. Count your blessings.
I wish anyone who finds themselves in this situation peace, love, and happiness, whether they ever find the missing pieces or not. It cant be an easy feeling to have. They are all blessings.
They were Lucky to have such a wonderful adoptive parents who did not hide the true facts about their adoption and birth country. I wish them good luck always in their lives. We are so lucky to be with parents always and pray that there will be on orphans in this world in the future ...! This thing really hurts.
So sad for me to know there are probably many, many, more adopted people like these 2 precious ladies. Thank you dear ladies for being willing to share your stories. May you both have a peaceful future. The Lord bless you and keep you 🙏
To Teri, I don't know you personally but I feel your pain like we were blood related. Take courage knowing that your mom and dad are in a better place. Am very glad that you finally got in contact with your sisters. I do hope that you find much comfort and consolation in the process.
My heart breaks for Teri. U finally build the courage to find your birth parent and you come to know her last days were so heartbreaking .. 💔 dying alone with no one to take care of her . 💔 super sad
It might have been easier had she never had a photo and fake name to comfort her throughout her childhood. This gave her false hope of finding her birth mom. It is clear that that the focus was to adopt these babies out and give them homes and security...essentially life. They simply may not have consider the future of these babies and that they one day would return for answers. Very sad, but they clearly were better off.
I took a DNA test on MyHeritage and I found out many of my family connections around the world .As my parents immigrated after the WW2 from Hungary to Brasil I didn’t know most of my families! Maybe having this DNA she can find about grand parents and some family! I wish luck and pray for the girl that don’t know who her mother is 🙏
DNA testing is not at all helpful in India, since she will juat get a 100% south asian result. First off-- If they come from an impoverished background, having international family is completely impossible, secondly-- myheritage uses data from other people taking the test, and for a population as dense and homogenous as india where nobody takes these tests, she will get nothing
I adopted my daughter from IMH in Calcutta (now named Kolkata)1985. IMH and their partner US adoption agencies provided extensive information about the overall situation in Calcutta and the particular situations that led to the abandonment of the babies. There were also organizations of parents who’d adopted IMH babies which provided information. Throughout my daughter’s childhood I explained this information to her. It’s unfortunate that many adoptive families try to protect their child by not being candid about the distressing circumstances of their birth situation. Interestingly my daughter had had DNA testing done and discovered that she has numerous distant relatives in the USA. Clearly some branches of her family were at least middle class. Also she learned that her ancestry is half Bengali and half Tamil or other Southern India. Perhaps the story of a domestic servant and a wealthier employer is a not uncommon situation.
At the end when Terri say I actually have a family now I have mother, I have sisters is heartbreaking for me as the adoptive parents doing all for her and because of them she is what she is and she doesn't even say that I now have both of my families(biological and adoptive). She doesn't even consider them parents ie mother and father. Feel so sad for adoptive parents as they do everything, may be even more then the real parents would do as they hold a greater responsibility for raising a child but in the end they are sidelined I guess, that what this case seems like at least.
Adoptive parents are not real parents no matter what they do for their foster child to make her happy in the end she is gonna choose her biological parents and leave Adoptive parents. Human nature
Both stories are truly saddening and must have been emotionally damaging for both women. For Terry to find out her parents have been dead for years and buried in unmarked graves was heartbreaking to watch. And for Leila woman to find out everything she’s known all her life was a complete lie and not get any answers must have been traumatic and confusing for her. I truly feel for both of them!
Well damn. I made the mistake of scanning over the comments first and yours just gave everything away. I guess I don’t need to watch the documentary now.🫤
When this documentary is entirely from the pov of the children, it's easy to get carried away and forget that their birth mothers also have a right to anonymity. Those who think that the Hope foundation fudging the documents was with nefarious intentions, should think about the time and culture where they worked and what their actual purpose was. In that context they did what was the best solution for both the mother and the child. Had they insisted that the mother's be photographed, those women might not even have approached them, worst case senario these kids might have gotten abandoned on the streets instead. Had they been completely honest about the birth mother's intention for anonymity, these kids wouldn't have gotten adopted. Their purpose was to protect the mothers and get these kids homed...and they did what was needed for it, no matter how improper or unfair it may seem now. Those mothers probably thought that getting those kids a safe future was much more important than letting them have all the answers for all their questions to trace their way back to their mothers
Not necessarily. Unless selling babies to foreigners a good business for their churches/orphanage. The least you could do was listing the correct name of the mother. Unwanted underage mothers are not smart enough to take right decisions. The name doesn’t have to be a fake one. Because nobody would look into these records punish them for doing illegal birth. Those church/orphanage had responsibility to properly record the names and keep it safe. What I can see here is kind of a business and no accountability. Now these children has gown up, they need answers. Sadly, those orphanages and churches are responsible for this mess.
I agree...it's india 🇮🇳 Now, that the kids are brought up in developed countries , there thinking and mindset is different. But, it's sad in a way....I feel bad about such kids , its not their fault :( it's a Indian governance problem to not report and maintain a database as in india there is no value for human life. It's clear and evident.
@@arifeens churches and Christian missionaries will never do such things. Only indian private organizations will. Christian missionaries are very wealthy, they can even buy out the Indian government. So, don't talk rubbish and spread hate.
I salut all the adoptive parents who selflessly and lovingly open their arms, their heart and their homes to the parentless babies everywhere . Love is the most important component in life . Thank you .
As Asian woman, please don't go search to your original parents, after you found them, the most of your original parents and your relatives will ask, beg the money from your, sometimes they will make story to ask money from you. Love your adopted parents the most, they love you the most
Even though they deserve to know cz we haven't walk in their shoes. Even if it is a burden to bear its their burden and their choice. Sometimes even the truth is bitter it should be known. The unknowing or uncertainty can eat u alive. Hope all the courage and luck to these children
I feel so sorry for this lady, my heart goes out for her. Imagine she goes out searching for her family and her dad, mum and brother passed away. I hope and pray that one day she will find her sisters.
This is a heartbreaking for mothers to give up their children because of poverty n other reasons. But im glad the grown up children are trying to find their roots. Bless them.
And it was long ago, not to say that it is not still happening, but if records were inaccurate there is little to be done now. Very sad. I cannot imagine.
A very sad true story because it was even more dramatic when she visited India and realized her mother was not alive. People who knew her mother would not talk to her because she was the daughter of a single mother. I hope those sisters are her true sisters and she can find some kind great sisters.
I guess u just accept that the parents that took you in are now your parents and are real heroes for taking u in, accepting you as family and bringing you up as their own. Instead of looking for you previous parents it’s advisable to just pray for them. 👨👩👧
Not that they don't love their adoptive parents but every child/person wants to to know who they really are and about their parents, their history. If we were in that position we will feel the same. The fact that they have been given up by their parents really hurts. Love is powerful. Every child deserves a mom and dad, a basic need. Nobody wants to feel like an orphan and it is their right to know, once they know, they are at peace and feel complete like a big puzzle is solved and it doesn't affect their relationship with their adoptive parents. They want to know the truth about themselves, that's all.
In many countries when families no longer pay for the loved ones burial plot they are removed and another is given the space. It is more like renting the space. I was shocked when I first learned of this.
Wow. It was clearly disturbing, especially since we find it disrespectful, but they may find it commonplace. If nobody visits and they figure nobody cares, resell the plot to another family. It's all about money, especially in an impoverished community.
In some countries you can buy the plot and they still take it away in Durban my whole. Family at stellawood Were thrown out of the grave. And you can do nothing about it !
Dear Layla.... Was really touched to hear your journey here... Pls don't lose hope. Praying and Wishing that you find your real family soon ... God Bless.. With Love n Regards from Mumbai India 💐🌷🙏🏻🙏🏻
Hi Terry, it was very emotional, tears rolled my eyes watching your story, finally you've got some answers to your search. It's fulfilling at least you could trace your sisters. I wish you, peace.
This has happened to some people even in America! In the 1920-50's there was any orphanage ran by Georgia Tan in Tennessee Children's Home Society. She stole or bought many as 5,000 babies and they were sold.
Sometimes the most unselfish thing a mother can do is know that the best possible way for your child to grow up, happy and healthy, is to give them up, it's better than making them starve and do without. I gave a baby up myself, I've also been involved in every way possible, he's going to be 20 tomorrow and he does have ill feelings towards me, but I know, as soon as his son is born, he'll understand. It's better than being raised by an addict, that was raised by an addict, plus we both have intermittent explosive disorder, along with him having ADHD, it was just best
I am an unwanted & unloved child & I wish my mother had not only loved me but loved me enough to give me up for adoption as you did. Your son has no idea what it's like to actually be a person who is unloved & unwanted by your mother. I don't know him but I think maybe he's hurt because he just doesn't understand why you chose to give him to someone else. What you did was selfless & loving & you didn't want him to suffer & that's what a "Real Mom" does. I hope that one day soon he realizes the Sacrifice you made for him to be ok & he's no longer hurt or angry. Take gentle care of yourself & I wish all women were as selfless as you & loved their child so much that they would give their child to someone else so they could have a better life & be loved by 2 mothers.
The bright side is they were adopted by good people...Thank God...imagine if they grew up in India....Terry's mom a brave woman and changed Terry's life
Would have been not that Bad, would make you more appreciative of life!! PS i have lived in western societies for quite long!! Deep down issues mostly are similar, may e dimensions are different!!
@Bobb Grimley You should think about getting off of the internet. I post comments about the video. This would not be the place I would come for a grammar lesson. I hope that each of the seekers in the video find peace of mind.
It's very emotional to watch the journey of these women as they try to connect to their past. I kept finding myself wondering, though, about what appeared to be inconsistencies with the supposed photo of the woman's mother. I admit that my understanding of the Indian culture is limited, but this was supposed to be an unwed mother, and yet it appeared that she was wearing the bindi, which I understood to be associated with a married woman. Perhaps I am totally uneducated about this tradition, but it raised red flags for me from the very beginning of the story.
That imh was involved in selling of newborn babies. And they were forging documents. That woman certainly is married. But her alleged daughter has striking similarities with that woman in the picture.
The house she went they was not nice to her telling they don’t know her mom look at her mom pictures the background looks like the same balcony her mom take the picture much love and respect to you all😍
After watching this it's becoming obvious that this orphanage was probably taking babies(or stealing) and selling them in adoptions. My heart goes out to these women.
The name changing and photos were shady, but I imagine that a good majority of children were left on there door step. Look how impoverished those areas were! Being pregnant and unmarried was shameful in all cultures, and even if married if you couldn't feed yourself or other children there wasn't much choice. VERY sad, but they must have known that the children had a better chance outside of India. Also note, that these were female babies that required a dowry to marry off.
@@lahawk2931 if thats the case why terry was given for adoption and what they wrote in that paper made her feel terrible all her life.Did they not record that?
Sometimes learning other people story brings peace to your story I lost my mom she was 42 when she died and my lost my dad but I still am able to know what they look like but they sound like what they feel🙂 like and that's a blessing to me💯😫🙏
@@valentingarciaable Absolutely, because there is often an expectation that someone who goes abroad is "rich" and expected to send money back to family.
@@valentingarciaable yes exactly...and moreover majority of the people like them are running scams and frauds to the people ...there are full of fake people out there in india ready to prey on their next victim.
This story makes me sad. I had the same story, but I want this lady to APPRECIATE THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS GOD GAVE HER! Those are wonderful people to take and care for a child that had NOTHING!!!! Your adoptive parents are the ANGELS HERE!!!!!!
@@lannguyen-pu1db They aren't "shaming" her. They're saying that, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, sometimes your best chance of happiness is in your own back yard. To have adopted parents that raised her so beautifully that she said she never felt any different to anyone else is incredibly fortunate. We all know there are atrocities happening every moment across the world, always. Do we sit, wringing our hands, feeling their pain? No. We put it put of our minds & go about our day, or we'd all go crazy.
I don't think it's fair to judge the women who had to give away their children. They were from a different time and there was not a lot of opportunity for women.
And many cultures remain that way. In the US, it is commonplace to have children out of wedlock, multiple even at any age. Some cultures will harm a woman for that. Also, some no doubt were married but too poor to care for a child.
My EXACT thoughts. We would have swallowed what's left of our pride and do the very same. May God be with such mothers and all the children which were put up for adoption.
Oh My word, I am so happy for Terry finding her siblings ( A Big Blessing)🙏🏾. I know after posting my last comment about 55 ex mins to get the findings, I am jumping for joy. Praise the Lord.
My heart breaks for these people searching for their parents their siblings in the circumstances of how they were born but the good side to all of this is that they chose life for these children and as you see these women have grown up to be beautiful women
The biological parents made a decision long time back. Now you have a good life . Respect and love your adoptive parents as much as you can in this life. Don’t show their photos and share their sad stories online. They chose to be anonymous for a reason .
I agree. The curiosity of one does not override the need for privacy of another. The natural mothers chose life. The embarrassment of the natural mother is not taken into account by the adoptees.
Praise God for the adoptive parents who raised you, the country you were blessed to be raised in. I wouldn’t have much hope in a facility that was associated with Mother Theresa. Things are not what they seem. Sad but true.
It's sad but also maddening. The older woman doesnt seem to get it. She went there with some idealistic concept of the region. To see her angered over the fact that many are buried "without a headstone" shows how very very little she understands. Culture shock as a result of ignorance and over idealizing. To stand there whining and yelling at the person showing her the burial site that she's judging with an entire different set of standards makes her the "disrespectful" one.
I was thinking the same....but, I'm sure that her emotions were just taking over. But, it doesn't work to judge a 3rd world country based on Western, Civilized Values/Culture. It is not apples to apples. They probably think that she was lucky to get out of that country and to stop worrying about it, but it is easier when we are not walking in their shoes. I'm glad that they at least get to see the culture that they come from.
Yes I was going to comment almost the same thing ! It’s almost annoying. I understand she is full of emotions so it can be understanding but it’s a different culture so she needed to realize that as well.
It's definitely coz of self entitlement from living in a developed country. She can't fathom how ppl in developed countries have little to no privilege. Sometimes it's best to be happy with what u have. I can't imagine how painful it must b to never have that sense of belonging. DNA and familiarity are far superior aspects in a person's life. It's in our biology to wonder about our parents.
This isn't a compassionate response. You must really begin thinking about the pressures these mothers were under. Yes, they surrendered their children so that they may have better lives - but the fact that they needed to do that in the first place is very sad. Also, it does nothing to heal the wounds created by all the lies and secrecy. In addition, plenty of babies were likely stolen to fulfill the demands of Westerners. So please be more thoughtful. The grief adoptees experience is not so simple.
@@noelledonnelly699 You are too sensible and wise. Despite too many clues, most people did not doubt that the orphanage could have been involved in child trafficking.
It's pass the point of shame, for generations alot of people played the CREATOR'S role in the lives of others without thinking of the consequences. No one thinks of the dire situation or the cause or effect that will play out in years to come. The fact remains that lives have been changed and destroyed in the process. SADLY, EVEN WHEN THE RESULTS PROVES TO HAVE DEVASTATING EFFECTS, THE CYCLE KEEPS REPEATING ITSELF.
28:00 really excellent editing. Edit: I'm really shocked that adults can be this naive. The minute Laila said a rich businessman & a servant girl had a "love affair" I knew it was a lie. Good God how very, very sheltered she has been. The only sin commited by the agency workers, imo, is the dissimulating done when the babies return to find their families. It would save a lot of time and agony if everybody involved were to explain the ugly truth immediately. That lady did the best thing when she finally told the girl: 'You are from the cesspool of Calcutta, And the only important thing was to get the babies OUT'. Truth. Go home & kiss the feet of your saviors.
Really sad but that's the reality in India. I felt bad for the lady who was upset about her father and mother not having a tombstone but that's the situation in India. There is so much poverty. You cant hold on. And the second story was very devastating. I hope she comes back without the cameras because there will be people who will reveal things if approached quietly. She will be able to find her real mother I am sure of it
I wonder what percentage of international adoptees wish they’d been left to grow up in the orphanage they were in, rather than being removed from their country. I’ve just seen so many of these who seem to feel like their adoption wasn’t worth it, because of how different from their family and community they looked and the ensuing feelings of isolation.
Probably some, but these gals were able to see the poverty of the people in their homeland and realize how fortunate they were to get out, even if there was a cost...a heavy cost. They might not have survived in an orphanage as medical care is very poor in these areas.
It's more about knowing the truth about who you are and where you come from. This idea that we have to sever a child from their family is very problematic. Children can love many people and adoptees deserve the truth.
Plus many adopting homes aren't perfect either. Adoptees may have to deal with the ideas, hopes and dreams or fears of their adopted parents while coping with their own vague memories from before they met. Enough to cause PTSD or other mental health problems.
The 42 year old woman seems to be harboring a lot of anger and bitterness which she really needs to sort out. Life's not particularly rosy even for those who know their birth parents. As one gets older one realizes that what matters is that one received some love from people who were willing to love us, whether those people are adoptive parents, aunties, uncles, friends etc.
Both stories very heart tugging. Can't imagine how painful it must have been for all the remaining adoptees. If you find someone from the can't it's rewarding. At the same it's horrible & sad if I search is not fruitful. I pray God to help all of them to overcome their emotions.
If more people do genetic tests then more will get linked up to their relatives and learn more about their heritage and also genetic disorders as well.
I imagine little if any testing is conducted in those poor areas. Many are living on the streets or in shacks. They are in survival mode, so adoptees can test, but many may not find matches if poor families don't test.
Wow! So heart-rending. Humanity in such a mess and confusion. But then one has to remember that these adoptees were given a new life in the midst of this and the opportunity to escape that life.
Its so sad these women know nothing about India and under what terrible circumstances their mother would have been to give them up.....The fact that she gave birth and put them up for adoption to live a better life is a sign of true love.... After living a comfortable life they have decided to come to India to trace their parents to fill a void in their lives ....
I am Indo-korean I have been living in India for almost 179 years, my great grandfather was a Buddhist monk and my great grandma was an Indian Muslim, my great grandfather passed away in 2008, he always want to meet his family for the one last time, he use to tell us story's about his family and I remember he use to cry sometimes that's hurt me so bad I had no contact, I don't know who they are, where they live, nothing!. I hope one day I will find my ancestors.
IMH was used as a front by the Communist Party of India (Marxist) to sell babies to rich foreigners and earn money to fund the Politburo. It's ironic that communists in our country literally practiced in a kind of slave trade
As a woman who gave up a baby in her teens, please know, MOST of us birth mothers, cry buckets, even years later, and wouldn't have given up our children if we didn't think staying with us would have resulted in bad conditions, for the child, I was so young that I would be stuck in the bad circumstance for several more years. We give them up because we love them. After, if the pregnancy is known, we suffer all kinds of abuse, in my case it led to 2 suicide attempts, despite being absolutely certain I did the right thing for the baby. Despite being certain, from time to time worry would creep in, what if it wasn't the best choice? Sometimes I was tormented by that thought. I'm happy to say I was reuinted with mine in his 30's and he had a great life! Now he's happily married and has wonderful kids. I cried more buckets when we met, it was such a relief to cry happy tears. My biggest regret abouit the adoption is not understanding that he might have wanted contact, even if his life was good. I would have looked years earlier if I'd understood more.
I found out at 45yr old I was adopted & the man I thought was my dad who treated me terrible wasn't my dad. My mom severely abused me & didn't love me.I know my real dad now & he's wonderful.I am so glad she was told the truth & loved.
My aunt adopted a little 1day old baby . When she born her biological mom died. Then her father told doctors that he can't take care of her so he asked for adoption. As my aunt was registered with that hospital. So doctor called her then she adopt that baby. Rising her like a princess.
Teri had a closure. Layla didn't. I feel so sad for her. She didn't even have the correct information to begin with. Now she has no information at all about her mom.
Fact that it was mandatory for them to give a picture. I won’t be surprised if they just gave any persons picture for the adoption to go through. It shouldn’t be this difficult to find a mother when you have a picture and a name. Everyone know the story they just choose to lie.
For Terry.....she needs to know that it is common for Catholics in Indian graveyards, space is limited and so they dig up the bones and store it in a box. The Church graveyard may have the box of his bones.
I believe you are born of father Culcutta (kolkata) and mother India, and they loved you the best way they could by setting you free to fly...to go out into the world and make your mark for all the world to see❤ It was the most selfless thing any life giver could do is to give you a better chance then others had. Doubly so the greatest gift to others that had so much love to share bubbling out they enveloped you in to the space in their hearts and homes to give to you a family to thrive in. The very core of what Calcutta and India never could give.
Some sad stories, gorgeous beautiful babies, very nice adoptive families. Heartbreaking outcomes for both Layla and Teri. Must say that the way the latter talks to people at times is quite surprising.
I'm in the US and my dad's father, grandfather and a few more relatives are buried the same way as Terry's. ..all on top of one another in an unmarked grave. My dad met his father once when he was 14. His father abandoned his wife and son. I found his death certificate at the Hall of records. He died of syphilis in 1934. He was 31.
It is sad that there are no records. Very common and quite how things are done in India. I still don't have a birth certificate. I'm not adopted but my parents didn't think it important enough to get me a birth certificate. The hospital where I was born no longer exists.
Adopted children are sooooo special, so loved. I feel that sometimes God's perfect machinery does make mistakes. The address is wrong and the baby gets a different womb but finally she/he does find the correct address and love
I'm happy for Terry and her sister was able to contact her~ I do hope that she consider doing a DNA test to avoid what happened to the Dr. and her family ~
Yes that was sad. Even when related it is not uncommon for the family to pressure them for financial support. I recall seeing an adoptee find her mother and family in Vietnam and they expected money and she eventually stopped contact.
Hi Teri ... So happy to learn that you found your family...your sisters... I do hope you meet them in person soon.... God Bless.. With Love n Regards From Mumbai India🙏🏻💐🌷
I too found my dad: John Fernandes and the whole entire family that immigranted in Europe and America, canada, and Germany. It is sad not to know oneself where your roots. But Glory zo Jesus. I got to know my daddy before he died. And my sister Yvonne Fernandes.
Being adopted & Being unloved by a woman who gave birth to you isn't "having parents". Even people who for example are addicts & weren't good parents but loved you are still "parents". There are people who make babies & gave birth to you but had no love for you & didn't want you & those aren't parents. I'm not saying this angrily. I hope you have/had parents who loved you because everyone deserves to have at least love but for some it just isn't so. I found out at 45yr old I had a biological dad who'd been looking for me & did actually love me & that remains the best day of my life. Every human deserves to be loved by their mother but it just isn't so & it hurts really bad but as humans we're resilient. You're probably a decent & loving woman & can't imagine not loving your child & it never even occurred to you that there are woman who are narcissistic & don't love their child & shouldn't & couldn't be a parent but they exist. I wish you all the best & I hope your parents did right by you & most of all loved you & were good parents. Take gentle care of yourself.
This girl should realize that in those days illegitimate pregnancies were a stigma So everything was done to protect thier identities which was the ethical thing to do in those days
I understand cultural stigma! However, I do not understand the sheer level and height of the dishonesty and lies in the formal records! This is inexcusable!
The nurses who took care of those young babies looked like they loved them all. Respect for them as it could not have been easy.
A special word of acknowledgement for Vijay ji who has taken so much effort at that age to help her. Truly genuine spirit of love he has
Respect to their adoptive parents… they gave them a better future !
Better life is very subjective. When you have everything in life but struggling to connect with your roots and that void haunts forever
Would you have preferred a wealthier, better family to raise you & give you “a better life” ? This needless glorification of adoptive parents must stop. It’s a biological fact that in vast majority of the cases kids have a need to belong to their biological mothers where they have a genetic connection. Ripping them away from their mother is a brutal thing. The infant has zero say in this very traumatic change in their lives. Society must try and provide resources to birth mothers to try and ensure that majority of mothers are able to keep and raise their child. Stigmas like unwed motherhood, etc don’t need to exist. Also poverty is a major cause in adoption. If we provide the birth mother with resources she will in most cases try to keep and raise a baby. No one is entitled a child. If some couple is experiencing infertility they don’t automatically have claim on another baby. Babies aren’t possessions. Adoptions, especially infant adoptions shouldn’t exist or should be exceedingly rare. Period!
Totally agree. One doesn't become a parent just by giving birth and then abandoning a child. Real parent is the person who raises the child.
Yes they give her a good future but think ... She had lost all the memories about her mother ... Family it's horrific and she did not wish for good life she wishes for the connection with roots
Rightly said. But not correct. Better future is not may be required by the children. When they grow up they would want to go to the biological parents telling I don't want riches. BUT adoptive parents gave them life,because of them they are alive today, as these children were not always given for adoption but left and abandoned on the streets also.
They(adoptive parents) also gave them unconditional love like real parents. So adoptive parents are the real parents. This does not demean biological parents but never greater than the adoptive parents, for sure.
I feel so much for the older lady, especially when she said if she did her search 10 years earlier she could've been able to help her mum. Only to find out later on in the documentary about the quality of her mum's life and the state of her burial grave, and the situation with her father's grave. I can't imagine the pain.
Yes, I agree. I was worried in the beginning when they said she was 43. If she was poor, she might not be alive. Very sad.
There's only so much space in a graveyard. I thought it is normal that people "rent" a plot fo 20 to 35 years or so. At least that's what it is like in many German communities over here. So I was a bit shocked about her outrage... but can understand her emotional rollercoaster- reaction... different culture, disappointment, anger
😭
Situation with her fathers grave ???
I mean how much extra land can you allocate in a city cemetry ?? It is obvious even your forefathers in your own country's cemetry is dumped one upon another.. Do you think people will bury in extra stretch of land with a city like Kolkata or Calcutta thats populated with 15 million. Its the 17th most populated city in the whole world.. Having emotional response is acceptable but having unrealistic expectation after 10-15 yrs of death with no one to serve the area and then blaming it on local people is equally horrible.
@@mixfy926 you make good sense as you are able to reason by just watching. This gal got “ hit by bricks from all directions “ . I would have reacted the same way then call myself out after processing all the information. Let’s cut her some slack.
When she gave birth to you, proves that she loved you and wanted to give birth. The pain a mother tolerate to give birth prove her love..A mother is as good as the creator of universe as she create a life by tolerating so much of pain..My heartiest respect to all the mothers of the universe..🙏
true that true💯
Not always the case sadly.
she most likely had no choice anyway.
Not really. She may have been a minor and forced to endure pregnancy and biryh without access to abortion
My stepdaughter wanted no children. She became pregnant and was devastated. We also thought she would bond thru pregnancy. Nope.. She didn't even want him after he was born. She kept him out of obligation, which is what she says. He's 15 now. There is still no bond.
I am an Indian. I just watched it. Baffled by the whole thing, the tyranny of life.Pain in my heart and tears in my eyes.
Ok ricebag flat-earther lol.
whole bengal is poor i have been there in iit kharagpur my brother was iitan and one thing up is so much better than bengal its like slum and they are continue on decresing path.
@@AbhishekSingh-zv2tn Lol UP and Bihar per capita GDP lowest in India
@@AbhishekSingh-zv2tn UPwallahs talking seriously 😂🤣. Most up for adoption were Bihari and UP beggars who had migrated to Kolkata. UP has the second lowest per capita GDP in India. There have been adoptions from all over India you do know that right ? Recently a Tamil woman who had been adopted in France returned to Chennai.
@@orkkojit Apas me lad lo chutiyo. Yahi ata hai tum gawaro ko.
Teri darling, feeling all the same emotions as you just watching this but love you need to understand you can't afford to be angry at how your parents were laid to rest. That is how the way of the world is in India especially for those less fortunate. You are a strong woman and you continue to live the life your mother would have wanted for you ❤️ take care
I feel deep compassion for the girls. They've been through a lot. However they must appreciate their adoptive parents. Don't disregard the unconditional love. Terry was very hurt and angry at times, which is understood. It would soften her heart to see that her adoptive parents are there. Count your blessings.
I wish anyone who finds themselves in this situation peace, love, and happiness, whether they ever find the missing pieces or not. It cant be an easy feeling to have. They are all blessings.
U
Thank you ❤️
They were Lucky to have such a wonderful adoptive parents who did not hide the true facts about their adoption and birth country. I wish them good luck always in their lives. We are so lucky to be with parents always and pray that there will be on orphans in this world in the future ...! This thing really hurts.
So sad for me to know there are probably many, many, more adopted people like these 2 precious ladies. Thank you dear ladies for being willing to share your stories. May you both have a peaceful future. The Lord bless you and keep you 🙏
To Teri, I don't know you personally but I feel your pain like we were blood related. Take courage knowing that your mom and dad are in a better place. Am very glad that you finally got in contact with your sisters. I do hope that you find much comfort and consolation in the process.
My heart breaks for Teri. U finally build the courage to find your birth parent and you come to know her last days were so heartbreaking .. 💔 dying alone with no one to take care of her . 💔 super sad
I can't imagine what adopted children go through growing up ...... such a heart breaking video .....
The Couples who adopted them are AMAZING PEOPLE.. straight wonder gift of God.. God blessed 💯❤
Amen 🙌
I can feel the pain when she said " if she've made a trip 10yrs earlier she could have met her birth mother" 😥💔
I’m happy for Teri to meet her sisters 😄. And the other lovely girl just needs to believe whatever gives her heart comfort 🦋🦋🦋🦋
It might have been easier had she never had a photo and fake name to comfort her throughout her childhood. This gave her false hope of finding her birth mom. It is clear that that the focus was to adopt these babies out and give them homes and security...essentially life. They simply may not have consider the future of these babies and that they one day would return for answers. Very sad, but they clearly were better off.
@@lahawk2931 She would have been off meeting her mom
I cried my eyes out, made me think of the story of Moses, selfless mother giving her child with the hope of a better life.
Amen
I took a DNA test on MyHeritage and I found out many of my family connections around the world .As my parents immigrated after the WW2 from Hungary to Brasil I didn’t know most of my families!
Maybe having this DNA she can find about grand parents and some family!
I wish luck and pray for the girl that don’t know who her mother is 🙏
Not very prevalent in india
DNA testing is not at all helpful in India, since she will juat get a 100% south asian result. First off-- If they come from an impoverished background, having international family is completely impossible, secondly-- myheritage uses data from other people taking the test, and for a population as dense and homogenous as india where nobody takes these tests, she will get nothing
I adopted my daughter from IMH in Calcutta (now named Kolkata)1985. IMH and their partner US adoption agencies provided extensive information about the overall situation in Calcutta and the particular situations that led to the abandonment of the babies. There were also organizations of parents who’d adopted IMH babies which provided information. Throughout my daughter’s childhood I explained this information to her. It’s unfortunate that many adoptive families try to protect their child by not being candid about the distressing circumstances of their birth situation.
Interestingly my daughter had had DNA testing done and discovered that she has numerous distant relatives in the USA. Clearly some branches of her family were at least middle class. Also she learned that her ancestry is half Bengali and half Tamil or other Southern India. Perhaps the story of a domestic servant and a wealthier employer is a not uncommon situation.
I wish I had adoptive parents, that loved me. 😢You both are extremely lucky to be adopted.!❤
At the end when Terri say I actually have a family now I have mother, I have sisters is heartbreaking for me as the adoptive parents doing all for her and because of them she is what she is and she doesn't even say that I now have both of my families(biological and adoptive). She doesn't even consider them parents ie mother and father. Feel so sad for adoptive parents as they do everything, may be even more then the real parents would do as they hold a greater responsibility for raising a child but in the end they are sidelined I guess, that what this case seems like at least.
Adoptive parents are not real parents no matter what they do for their foster child to make her happy in the end she is gonna choose her biological parents and leave Adoptive parents. Human nature
I agree with you....😢
My heart really goes out to them ………these women were lucky to have been adopted but I can understand thier need to know where they came from.
Both stories are truly saddening and must have been emotionally damaging for both women. For Terry to find out her parents have been dead for years and buried in unmarked graves was heartbreaking to watch. And for Leila woman to find out everything she’s known all her life was a complete lie and not get any answers must have been traumatic and confusing for her. I truly feel for both of them!
Well damn. I made the mistake of scanning over the comments first and yours just gave everything away. I guess I don’t need to watch the documentary now.🫤
How can I find both of them on IG ?
Very heartbreaking outcome from these 2 stories, I felt the pain when Terry was crying, very sad, because the real truth was kept hidden.
When this documentary is entirely from the pov of the children, it's easy to get carried away and forget that their birth mothers also have a right to anonymity. Those who think that the Hope foundation fudging the documents was with nefarious intentions, should think about the time and culture where they worked and what their actual purpose was. In that context they did what was the best solution for both the mother and the child. Had they insisted that the mother's be photographed, those women might not even have approached them, worst case senario these kids might have gotten abandoned on the streets instead. Had they been completely honest about the birth mother's intention for anonymity, these kids wouldn't have gotten adopted. Their purpose was to protect the mothers and get these kids homed...and they did what was needed for it, no matter how improper or unfair it may seem now. Those mothers probably thought that getting those kids a safe future was much more important than letting them have all the answers for all their questions to trace their way back to their mothers
Yeah I completely agree with you.
I agree with you 🙏
Not necessarily. Unless selling babies to foreigners a good business for their churches/orphanage. The least you could do was listing the correct name of the mother. Unwanted underage mothers are not smart enough to take right decisions. The name doesn’t have to be a fake one. Because nobody would look into these records punish them for doing illegal birth. Those church/orphanage had responsibility to properly record the names and keep it safe. What I can see here is kind of a business and no accountability. Now these children has gown up, they need answers. Sadly, those orphanages and churches are responsible for this mess.
I agree...it's india 🇮🇳
Now, that the kids are brought up in developed countries , there thinking and mindset is different.
But, it's sad in a way....I feel bad about such kids , its not their fault :( it's a Indian governance problem to not report and maintain a database as in india there is no value for human life. It's clear and evident.
@@arifeens churches and Christian missionaries will never do such things. Only indian private organizations will. Christian missionaries are very wealthy, they can even buy out the Indian government. So, don't talk rubbish and spread hate.
I salut all the adoptive parents who selflessly and lovingly open their arms, their heart and their homes to the parentless babies everywhere . Love is the most important component in life . Thank you .
As Asian woman, please don't go search to your original parents, after you found them, the most of your original parents and your relatives will ask, beg the money from your, sometimes they will make story to ask money from you. Love your adopted parents the most, they love you the most
Very true. People living in extreme poverty are desperate and might view the returnee as a meal ticket.
even if true - thats a horrible message
I can confirm this is true as another Asian.
She has a need to know. I am an adoptee and have talked to many other adoptees who have that same need.
Even though they deserve to know cz we haven't walk in their shoes. Even if it is a burden to bear its their burden and their choice. Sometimes even the truth is bitter it should be known. The unknowing or uncertainty can eat u alive. Hope all the courage and luck to these children
I feel so sorry for this lady, my heart goes out for her. Imagine she goes out searching for her family and her dad, mum and brother passed away. I hope and pray that one day she will find her sisters.
did you watch to the end?
Huge respect to the adoptive parents and IMH for providing the children a better life
Mom are like candle 🕯️ they give light by burning self... What mom does is always great.. ❤️
not all moms are good.
This is a heartbreaking for mothers to give up their children because of poverty n other reasons. But im glad the grown up children are trying to find their roots. Bless them.
I feel sooooo sorry for people that are adopted. She can’t be angry at other countries way of life or lack of leadership.
And it was long ago, not to say that it is not still happening, but if records were inaccurate there is little to be done now. Very sad. I cannot imagine.
A very sad true story because it was even more dramatic when she visited India and realized her mother was not alive. People who knew her mother would not talk to her because she was the daughter of a single mother. I hope those sisters are her true sisters and she can find some kind great sisters.
I guess u just accept that the parents that took you in are now your parents and are real heroes for taking u in, accepting you as family and bringing you up as their own. Instead of looking for you previous parents it’s advisable to just pray for them. 👨👩👧
Not necessarily, they’re just childless couples and often they aren’t saints … just people who wanted a kid
And if they are so great these adoptive kids wouldn’t have the desire to meet their real parents
Not that they don't love their adoptive parents but every child/person wants to to know who they really are and about their parents, their history. If we were in that position we will feel the same. The fact that they have been given up by their parents really hurts. Love is powerful. Every child deserves a mom and dad, a basic need. Nobody wants to feel like an orphan and it is their right to know, once they know, they are at peace and feel complete like a big puzzle is solved and it doesn't affect their relationship with their adoptive parents. They want to know the truth about themselves, that's all.
In many countries when families no longer pay for the loved ones burial plot they are removed and another is given the space. It is more like renting the space. I was shocked when I first learned of this.
Wow. It was clearly disturbing, especially since we find it disrespectful, but they may find it commonplace. If nobody visits and they figure nobody cares, resell the plot to another family. It's all about money, especially in an impoverished community.
In some countries you can buy the plot and they still take it away in Durban my whole. Family at stellawood Were thrown out of the grave. And you can do nothing about it !
Dear Layla....
Was really touched to hear your journey here...
Pls don't lose hope.
Praying and Wishing that you find your real family soon ...
God Bless..
With Love n Regards from
Mumbai
India
💐🌷🙏🏻🙏🏻
Hi Terry, it was very emotional, tears rolled my eyes watching your story, finally you've got some answers to your search. It's fulfilling at least you could trace your sisters. I wish you, peace.
Dear layla please don't be disheartened and take solace in the fact that u have a wonderful family and friends back in London. ❤️❤️❤️
This has happened to some people even in America! In the 1920-50's there was any orphanage ran by Georgia Tan in Tennessee Children's Home Society. She stole or bought many as 5,000 babies and they were sold.
18:53 Imagine the roller coaster ride of emotions building up inside her! Such a strong woman.
Bringing up children is not that easy. Be it birth parents or adoptive parents. May God bless all those parents.
Sometimes the most unselfish thing a mother can do is know that the best possible way for your child to grow up, happy and healthy, is to give them up, it's better than making them starve and do without. I gave a baby up myself, I've also been involved in every way possible, he's going to be 20 tomorrow and he does have ill feelings towards me, but I know, as soon as his son is born, he'll understand. It's better than being raised by an addict, that was raised by an addict, plus we both have intermittent explosive disorder, along with him having ADHD, it was just best
Hugs❤️
Don't u want to meet with him once?
Drop your social media handle for me
I am an unwanted & unloved child & I wish my mother had not only loved me but loved me enough to give me up for adoption as you did. Your son has no idea what it's like to actually be a person who is unloved & unwanted by your mother.
I don't know him but I think maybe he's hurt because he just doesn't understand why you chose to give him to someone else.
What you did was selfless & loving & you didn't want him to suffer & that's what a "Real Mom" does.
I hope that one day soon he realizes the Sacrifice you made for him to be ok & he's no longer hurt or angry.
Take gentle care of yourself & I wish all women were as selfless as you & loved their child so much that they would give their child to someone else so they could have a better life & be loved by 2 mothers.
The bright side is they were adopted by good people...Thank God...imagine if they grew up in India....Terry's mom a brave woman and changed Terry's life
Would have been not that Bad, would make you more appreciative of life!! PS i have lived in western societies for quite long!! Deep down issues mostly are similar, may e dimensions are different!!
All those babies, all those precious angel's ❤️
@Bobb Grimley Thank for sharing, Teacher
@Bobb Grimley You should think about getting off of the internet. I post comments about the video. This would not be the place I would come for a grammar lesson. I hope that each of the seekers in the video find peace of mind.
It's very emotional to watch the journey of these women as they try to connect to their past. I kept finding myself wondering, though, about what appeared to be inconsistencies with the supposed photo of the woman's mother. I admit that my understanding of the Indian culture is limited, but this was supposed to be an unwed mother, and yet it appeared that she was wearing the bindi, which I understood to be associated with a married woman. Perhaps I am totally uneducated about this tradition, but it raised red flags for me from the very beginning of the story.
That picture was of a married woman. Only Hindu married woman wear red powder on her hair parting.
That orphanage sounds really shady.
That imh was involved in selling of newborn babies. And they were forging documents. That woman certainly is married. But her alleged daughter has striking similarities with that woman in the picture.
@@hithergirlsomeone2775 I didn’t think they looked alike at all
No the bindi can be worn by anyone, but she has vermilion in her hair that means she was indeed married.
Only the red vermillion on her hair indicates that she was married.bindis can be worn by anybody. But most married women do wear the red bindi.
The house she went they was not nice to her telling they don’t know her mom look at her mom pictures the background looks like the same balcony her mom take the picture much love and respect to you all😍
After watching this it's becoming obvious that this orphanage was probably taking babies(or stealing) and selling them in adoptions. My heart goes out to these women.
With all those documents
The name changing and photos were shady, but I imagine that a good majority of children were left on there door step. Look how impoverished those areas were! Being pregnant and unmarried was shameful in all cultures, and even if married if you couldn't feed yourself or other children there wasn't much choice. VERY sad, but they must have known that the children had a better chance outside of India. Also note, that these were female babies that required a dowry to marry off.
Sad
Pl continue the story. so interesting, since Laila found her 2 sisters.
@@lahawk2931 if thats the case why terry was given for adoption and what they wrote in that paper made her feel terrible all her life.Did they not record that?
Sometimes learning other people story brings peace to your story I lost my mom she was 42 when she died and my lost my dad but I still am able to know what they look like but they sound like what they feel🙂 like and that's a blessing to me💯😫🙏
Terry seems like a smart woman. I hope she insists that she and her sisters take a DNA test. So easy to confirm if the right ones were found.
same
You're right she better get a DNA test because this sounds like a scam to me so she better get a DNA test before she starts dishing out some money
@@valentingarciaable Absolutely, because there is often an expectation that someone who goes abroad is "rich" and expected to send money back to family.
@@valentingarciaable yes exactly...and moreover majority of the people like them are running scams and frauds to the people ...there are full of fake people out there in india ready to prey on their next victim.
She is she spitting image of her mother. She doesn't need a test.
Not all Indians are scammers, just stop;.
This story makes me sad. I had the same story, but I want this lady to APPRECIATE THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS GOD GAVE HER! Those are wonderful people to take and care for a child that had NOTHING!!!! Your adoptive parents are the ANGELS HERE!!!!!!
Looks like GOD GAVE HER two sets of parents, though. Why shame her for wanting to know the whole truth?
@@lannguyen-pu1db They aren't "shaming" her. They're saying that, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, sometimes your best chance of happiness is in your own back yard. To have adopted parents that raised her so beautifully that she said she never felt any different to anyone else is incredibly fortunate.
We all know there are atrocities happening every moment across the world, always. Do we sit, wringing our hands, feeling their pain? No. We put it put of our minds & go about our day, or we'd all go crazy.
I don't think it's fair to judge the women who had to give away their children. They were from a different time and there was not a lot of opportunity for women.
And many cultures remain that way. In the US, it is commonplace to have children out of wedlock, multiple even at any age. Some cultures will harm a woman for that. Also, some no doubt were married but too poor to care for a child.
My EXACT thoughts. We would have swallowed what's left of our pride and do the very same. May God be with such mothers and all the children which were put up for adoption.
there still isnt
Oh My word, I am so happy for Terry finding her siblings ( A Big Blessing)🙏🏾.
I know after posting my last comment about 55 ex mins to get the findings, I am jumping for joy.
Praise the Lord.
I’m so sad that you were not able to see your mom alive and do your father. I know they are happy for you. God bless🙏🏻❤️
Probably the death of the husband couple with painfully giving up Terry drove the mother to seek comfort in the "bottle".
After so many lies and dissapointments I can't help but wonder if those are really Terry's sisters or not.
Really hope they are.🙏🙏
My heart breaks for these people searching for their parents their siblings in the circumstances of how they were born but the good side to all of this is that they chose life for these children and as you see these women have grown up to be beautiful women
The orphanage helped her mother and helped her too by getting her a good home, now they are accused. Truly sad situation.
The biological parents made a decision long time back. Now you have a good life . Respect and love your adoptive parents as much as you can in this life. Don’t show their photos and share their sad stories online. They chose to be anonymous for a reason .
Not always the case, some ppl have no choice
I agree. The curiosity of one does not override the need for privacy of another. The natural mothers chose life. The embarrassment of the natural mother is not taken into account by the adoptees.
Finding your beginnings has nothing to do with Aparents. It's not disrespect. Non adoptees know where they come from..why shouldn't everyone!!
Good to hear that she found her sisters, will like to see them too if she visits them again
Praise God for the adoptive parents who raised you, the country you were blessed to be raised in. I wouldn’t have much hope in a facility that was associated with Mother Theresa. Things are not what they seem. Sad but true.
It's sad but also maddening. The older woman doesnt seem to get it. She went there with some idealistic concept of the region. To see her angered over the fact that many are buried "without a headstone" shows how very very little she understands. Culture shock as a result of ignorance and over idealizing. To stand there whining and yelling at the person showing her the burial site that she's judging with an entire different set of standards makes her the "disrespectful" one.
I was thinking the same....but, I'm sure that her emotions were just taking over. But, it doesn't work to judge a 3rd world country based on Western, Civilized Values/Culture. It is not apples to apples. They probably think that she was lucky to get out of that country and to stop worrying about it, but it is easier when we are not walking in their shoes. I'm glad that they at least get to see the culture that they come from.
Yes I was going to comment almost the same thing ! It’s almost annoying. I understand she is full of emotions so it can be understanding but it’s a different culture so she needed to realize that as well.
It's definitely coz of self entitlement from living in a developed country. She can't fathom how ppl in developed countries have little to no privilege. Sometimes it's best to be happy with what u have. I can't imagine how painful it must b to never have that sense of belonging. DNA and familiarity are far superior aspects in a person's life. It's in our biology to wonder about our parents.
Please know your mom loved you enough to give you a better life than she could give
This isn't a compassionate response. You must really begin thinking about the pressures these mothers were under. Yes, they surrendered their children so that they may have better lives - but the fact that they needed to do that in the first place is very sad. Also, it does nothing to heal the wounds created by all the lies and secrecy.
In addition, plenty of babies were likely stolen to fulfill the demands of Westerners.
So please be more thoughtful. The grief adoptees experience is not so simple.
@@noelledonnelly699 you really nailed it 👏
@@noelledonnelly699 You are too sensible and wise. Despite too many clues, most people did not doubt that the orphanage could have been involved in child trafficking.
Or not
I really hope this woman got her answers, got her closure, will move forward, appreciating the family who adopted her.
That's a shame, nomatter the outcome an adopted person needs that closure. They need to know their background.
It's pass the point of shame, for generations alot of people played the CREATOR'S role in the lives of others without thinking of the consequences. No one thinks of the dire situation or the cause or effect that will play out in years to come.
The fact remains that lives have been changed and destroyed in the process. SADLY, EVEN WHEN THE RESULTS PROVES TO HAVE DEVASTATING EFFECTS, THE CYCLE KEEPS REPEATING ITSELF.
28:00 really excellent editing.
Edit: I'm really shocked that adults can be this naive. The minute Laila said a rich businessman & a servant girl had a "love affair" I knew it was a lie. Good God how very, very sheltered she has been.
The only sin commited by the agency workers, imo, is the dissimulating done when the babies return to find their families. It would save a lot of time and agony if everybody involved were to explain the ugly truth immediately.
That lady did the best thing when she finally told the girl: 'You are from the cesspool of Calcutta, And the only important thing was to get the babies OUT'.
Truth. Go home & kiss the feet of your saviors.
Really sad but that's the reality in India. I felt bad for the lady who was upset about her father and mother not having a tombstone but that's the situation in India. There is so much poverty. You cant hold on. And the second story was very devastating. I hope she comes back without the cameras because there will be people who will reveal things if approached quietly. She will be able to find her real mother I am sure of it
I did not expect to be moved so deeply by these beautiful courageous women
I wonder what percentage of international adoptees wish they’d been left to grow up in the orphanage they were in, rather than being removed from their country. I’ve just seen so many of these who seem to feel like their adoption wasn’t worth it, because of how different from their family and community they looked and the ensuing feelings of isolation.
Probably some, but these gals were able to see the poverty of the people in their homeland and realize how fortunate they were to get out, even if there was a cost...a heavy cost. They might not have survived in an orphanage as medical care is very poor in these areas.
It's more about knowing the truth about who you are and where you come from. This idea that we have to sever a child from their family is very problematic. Children can love many people and adoptees deserve the truth.
Plus many adopting homes aren't perfect either. Adoptees may have to deal with the ideas, hopes and dreams or fears of their adopted parents while coping with their own vague memories from before they met. Enough to cause PTSD or other mental health problems.
The 42 year old woman seems to be harboring a lot of anger and bitterness which she really needs to sort out. Life's not particularly rosy even for those who know their birth parents. As one gets older one realizes that what matters is that one received some love from people who were willing to love us, whether those people are adoptive parents, aunties, uncles, friends etc.
Heart touching episode.May God bless all the adoptive children.
I love that Terry was raised west Indian!!!!❤❤❤❤
These two women are incredibly naive .... at best.
Desperate and hopeful.
Both stories very heart tugging.
Can't imagine how painful it must have been for all the remaining adoptees. If you find someone from the can't it's rewarding. At the same it's horrible & sad if I search is not fruitful. I pray God to help all of them to overcome their emotions.
If more people do genetic tests then more will get linked up to their relatives and learn more about their heritage and also genetic disorders as well.
I imagine little if any testing is conducted in those poor areas. Many are living on the streets or in shacks. They are in survival mode, so adoptees can test, but many may not find matches if poor families don't test.
Wow! So heart-rending. Humanity in such a mess and confusion. But then one has to remember that these adoptees were given a new life in the midst of this and the opportunity to escape that life.
Its so sad these women know nothing about India and under what terrible circumstances their mother would have been to give them up.....The fact that she gave birth and put them up for adoption to live a better life is a sign of true love.... After living a comfortable life they have decided to come to India to trace their parents to fill a void in their lives ....
I am Indo-korean I have been living in India for almost 179 years, my great grandfather was a Buddhist monk and my great grandma was an Indian Muslim, my great grandfather passed away in 2008, he always want to meet his family for the one last time, he use to tell us story's about his family and I remember he use to cry sometimes that's hurt me so bad I had no contact, I don't know who they are, where they live, nothing!. I hope one day I will find my ancestors.
Those who worked for IMH should be thoroughly ashamed of this mess
IMH was used as a front by the Communist Party of India (Marxist) to sell babies to rich foreigners and earn money to fund the Politburo. It's ironic that communists in our country literally practiced in a kind of slave trade
As a woman who gave up a baby in her teens, please know, MOST of us birth mothers, cry buckets, even years later, and wouldn't have given up our children if we didn't think staying with us would have resulted in bad conditions, for the child, I was so young that I would be stuck in the bad circumstance for several more years. We give them up because we love them. After, if the pregnancy is known, we suffer all kinds of abuse, in my case it led to 2 suicide attempts, despite being absolutely certain I did the right thing for the baby.
Despite being certain, from time to time worry would creep in, what if it wasn't the best choice? Sometimes I was tormented by that thought. I'm happy to say I was reuinted with mine in his 30's and he had a great life! Now he's happily married and has wonderful kids. I cried more buckets when we met, it was such a relief to cry happy tears.
My biggest regret abouit the adoption is not understanding that he might have wanted contact, even if his life was good. I would have looked years earlier if I'd understood more.
Sad sad..poor people. God bless the children. 😢🙏
I found out at 45yr old I was adopted & the man I thought was my dad who treated me terrible wasn't my dad. My mom severely abused me & didn't love me.I know my real dad now & he's wonderful.I am so glad she was told the truth & loved.
My aunt adopted a little 1day old baby . When she born her biological mom died. Then her father told doctors that he can't take care of her so he asked for adoption. As my aunt was registered with that hospital. So doctor called her then she adopt that baby. Rising her like a princess.
They all know who their parents are but due to social stigma they will never disclose the truth because it may ruin a family which is living happily.
Teri had a closure. Layla didn't. I feel so sad for her. She didn't even have the correct information to begin with. Now she has no information at all about her mom.
I hope Leila finds peace. It must be so sad not to know much about her family.
Fact that it was mandatory for them to give a picture. I won’t be surprised if they just gave any persons picture for the adoption to go through. It shouldn’t be this difficult to find a mother when you have a picture and a name. Everyone know the story they just choose to lie.
For Terry.....she needs to know that it is common for Catholics in Indian graveyards, space is limited and so they dig up the bones and store it in a box. The Church graveyard may have the box of his bones.
Wow! What a powerful documentary. It just pulls at your heart strings glad that at least one of them got a chance to find some type of clarity.
I believe you are born of father Culcutta (kolkata) and mother India, and they loved you the best way they could by setting you free to fly...to go out into the world and make your mark for all the world to see❤ It was the most selfless thing any life giver could do is to give you a better chance then others had. Doubly so the greatest gift to others that had so much love to share bubbling out they enveloped you in to the space in their hearts and homes to give to you a family to thrive in. The very core of what Calcutta and India never could give.
Some sad stories, gorgeous beautiful babies, very nice adoptive families. Heartbreaking outcomes for both Layla and Teri. Must say that the way the latter talks to people at times is quite surprising.
I'm in the US and my dad's father, grandfather and a few more relatives are buried the same way as Terry's. ..all on top of one another in an unmarked grave. My dad met his father once when he was 14. His father abandoned his wife and son. I found his death certificate at the Hall of records. He died of syphilis in 1934. He was 31.
It is sad that there are no records. Very common and quite how things are done in India. I still don't have a birth certificate. I'm not adopted but my parents didn't think it important enough to get me a birth certificate. The hospital where I was born no longer exists.
Adopted children are sooooo special, so loved. I feel that sometimes God's perfect machinery does make mistakes. The address is wrong and the baby gets a different womb but finally she/he does find the correct address and love
I'm happy for Terry and her sister was able to contact her~ I do hope that she consider doing a DNA test to avoid what happened to the Dr. and her family ~
Yes that was sad. Even when related it is not uncommon for the family to pressure them for financial support. I recall seeing an adoptee find her mother and family in Vietnam and they expected money and she eventually stopped contact.
What Dr. and her family
,@@juliamclane8319 the aged, bespectacled, white American doctor wearing the yellow inner jersey/top and the sari.
Was thinking the same thing . That would have been awful thinking you found you people to learn you’d been scammed .
@@rosiesamuel9558 I. Think U. Should be. Thankful & bless her for the lovely work she. Does. 🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️♥️.
These searches made me cry 😢 so many times. I was especially saddened for the woman whose parents had both died.
Hi Teri ...
So happy to learn that you found your family...your sisters...
I do hope you meet them in person soon....
God Bless..
With Love n Regards
From Mumbai
India🙏🏻💐🌷
Omg this Is so sad for her to deal with such a situation all alone. This is sad that she couldn't even had a chance to see her father's grave.
I too found my dad: John Fernandes and the whole entire family that immigranted in Europe and America, canada, and Germany. It is sad not to know oneself where your roots. But Glory zo Jesus. I got to know my daddy before he died. And my sister Yvonne Fernandes.
To the lady who closed the show by saying : it was life changing . I have a family now …. You always had a family - you always had parents .
You aren't adopted & don't understand how it changes someone's life.
HOW@@Fairyviewroad
Being adopted & Being unloved by a woman who gave birth to you isn't "having parents". Even people who for example are addicts & weren't good parents but loved you are still "parents".
There are people who make babies & gave birth to you but had no love for you & didn't want you & those aren't parents.
I'm not saying this angrily. I hope you have/had parents who loved you because everyone deserves to have at least love but for some it just isn't so.
I found out at 45yr old I had a biological dad who'd been looking for me & did actually love me & that remains the best day of my life.
Every human deserves to be loved by their mother but it just isn't so & it hurts really bad but as humans we're resilient.
You're probably a decent & loving woman & can't imagine not loving your child & it never even occurred to you that there are woman who are narcissistic & don't love their child & shouldn't & couldn't be a parent but they exist.
I wish you all the best & I hope your parents did right by you & most of all loved you & were good parents.
Take gentle care of yourself.
This girl should realize that in those days illegitimate pregnancies were a stigma
So everything was done to protect thier identities which was the ethical thing to do in those days
Or they just didn’t have the info and simply forged documents … sometimes they just sold the kids , they’re not squeaky clean
I understand cultural stigma! However, I do not understand the sheer level and height of the dishonesty and lies in the formal records! This is inexcusable!