What is Acting Out? (and Covert Narcissist)

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  • Опубліковано 28 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 66

  • @ARO401
    @ARO401 9 місяців тому +3

    Thank you, Prof. Sam! Thanks to you I understand a lot more now thanks to your videos. I am talking about 30 years ago. I have a child with a Malign. Narcissist. I always referred to him as Psychopath because at that time we did not know anything about Narcissism. I met him when I was 19, a child myself. A year later I had my child but OMG. As little did I know. I tried and it was hard. I really wondered what is wrong with me, but actually, nothing was wrong. I was still learning. It was hard to get away from him because of my child, which he used to blackmail me, but someday I was able to. I am German and I love it when you explain in German. Thank you!

  • @shawn4488
    @shawn4488 6 місяців тому +8

    Thank you Dr. Vaknin, I’m a victim of human trafficking which initially occurred when I was a day old.
    Your work improves my every day experiences, relatedness with other people and allows me to make sense of it all.
    I spent 31 years in law enforcement, and I recently retired (aka shedding) from this role both professionally and personally into more freedom :)
    When I was doing my deep trauma/grief work with my therapist your work and videos were a constant companion as I pulled everything apart and reassembled my life.
    From the bottom of my heart a warm thank you Sam 🙏 ❤

  • @ildikoberkovics6789
    @ildikoberkovics6789 Рік тому +7

    You are not only lifesavingly informative but extremely entertaining. Of course 🙂

  • @renee4882
    @renee4882 2 роки тому +77

    Thank you Dr.. Vaknin for your counterweights. I was flipped upside down by a covert narcissist. Abandoned and disoriented I found your videos. It is your insights that helped me get upright and on my feet again. Thru knowledge I am now a stronger, wiser and more dangerous version of myself. Before I found your channel I felt trapped on the set of Twilight Zone begging some to please yell "cut"

  • @cube435
    @cube435 2 роки тому +23

    Sam, you will never see my comment but thank you for empowering me with this knowledge. Truly.

  • @harrydennings9371
    @harrydennings9371 2 роки тому +20

    Consistently liberating. "Turning on the lights" for all of us.

  • @Colorinchis2024
    @Colorinchis2024 2 роки тому +57

    Love your sense of humor. 😅❤️ Your "people who get pregnant" comment won me over 4ever 😁

  • @DebbieLee-dr3hr
    @DebbieLee-dr3hr Рік тому +4

    Bob Newhart was so funny. LOVED him when I was a youngster

  • @cantfindmykeys
    @cantfindmykeys 2 роки тому +69

    yes yes there is only one disorder. To neutralize the afflicted individual, take the following steps:
    1. Secure them firmly to a chair with super strong duct tape. Do not use a flimsy or folding chair.
    2. Pour a bucket of holy water onto their head. (Repeat step 2 until the monster is thoroughly doused and saturated)
    3. Call a priest.
    4. When the priest arrives, hand him a wooden stake and run away. (He might need the wooden stake)
    5. Wait to see what happens. Observe from a safe distance.
    6. If the house doesn't burn down and there are no signs of activity, approach with caution and find out wth happened.
    7. If the afflicted individual seems human, thank the priest profusely and carry on with your life.
    8. If not.. move to another continent like I did.

    • @charlottecomfort2446
      @charlottecomfort2446 Рік тому +7

      Bahahahhahhaaaa!!! 😂

    • @desiertos-j7h
      @desiertos-j7h Рік тому +5

      4. ... or better, call an Exorcist ;)

    • @cantfindmykeys
      @cantfindmykeys Рік тому +3

      @@desiertos-j7h that's what the priest is for.

    • @cantfindmykeys
      @cantfindmykeys Рік тому +2

      @@roboldx9171 you must be a narcissist, lol.

    • @desiertos-j7h
      @desiertos-j7h Рік тому +4

      @@cantfindmykeys true, but an Exorcist is a special kind of priest ;) Hehe

  • @RKX_Errant
    @RKX_Errant 2 роки тому +17

    Professor Vaknin: Both fascinating and informative. You bring forth intelligent observations that are well worth consideration.

  • @esmatezcan6884
    @esmatezcan6884 2 роки тому +15

    I didnt understand what I was encountering until I bumped into one of your videos 2 years ago. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for finally bringing an academically acurate perspective and establishing a counterweight to the non sense that claims to be “helpful” online. ❤ Huge fan and follower ever since..

  • @Amber-yh5spiamchosen
    @Amber-yh5spiamchosen 2 роки тому +8

    I love the way you explain the TRUTH. YOU make me laugh too and haven't laughed in a long time

    • @saskiavermeulen3346
      @saskiavermeulen3346 10 місяців тому +1

      Yes! Exactly, the humor, the truth and feel more normal than I ever did, now I understand finally how weird people are and why and how things happened in my life, why I let the wrong people stay too long in my world. And all those vampires who were bashing me around are caught up in a web of previous trauma's. Looking with sam vaknin eyes to people now and that gives a self protecting feeling

  • @naomicorban8703
    @naomicorban8703 2 роки тому +4

    Truly the world expert on the subject!Professor Sam Vaknin,genius,love watching listening to your mind in action art&science synchronised.Incredible insights juxtaposed with brilliant insights&wonderful sense of humour.Thank you Professor⚘🙏

  • @saskiavermeulen3346
    @saskiavermeulen3346 10 місяців тому +1

    Like the sense of humor😊. Hilarious 😂

  • @deedeedoes818
    @deedeedoes818 2 роки тому +5

    🍷cheers! Thank you for articulating these concepts

  • @AshleySmith-yf7ig
    @AshleySmith-yf7ig 2 роки тому +9

    Thank you Sam, I have been dealing with this for years with a narcissist. You have cleared this up for me and I feel so much better,

  • @kalanuarte683
    @kalanuarte683 2 роки тому +5

    Thank you Professor Vaknin, I really enjoy your lectures..

  • @runwiththewind3281
    @runwiththewind3281 2 роки тому +15

    Professor Vaknin, thank you.

  • @evelyngarrison6007
    @evelyngarrison6007 2 роки тому +9

    Thank you for the straight talk and the factual, no sugar coated truths. The examples are helpful as well because this is a particularly difficult revelation to have about one's self or their loved ones. Especially appreciate the Bob Newhart sketch. Love that man with a passion! Funny, adorable and always has masterful comedic timing, from the early stuff through to both Newhart shows. The Braveheart sketch is hilarious too!!

  • @Mady8015
    @Mady8015 11 місяців тому +8

    What happens if the baby does not have only one care giver, but is left with various caregivers (grandparents, aunts, neighbors, day care employees) starting from the age of 2 months so that the mother can go to work? Who does the baby internalize as the primary care giver?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  11 місяців тому +8

      Whoever most consistently fulfills the maternal role, regardless of gender.

  • @claudeducharme2490
    @claudeducharme2490 2 роки тому +6

    Passage à l’acte! Bravo

  • @ProfessorMarcusGarcia
    @ProfessorMarcusGarcia 2 роки тому +5

    Mr. Professor, My colleague Marcelo Fernandes and I are working on a scientific paper that proposes a crisis management model. In our article, "Acting out" is identified as a limiting factor in the ability of individuals in groups to make good decisions. Acting out, in your opinion, can influence people's behavior in crisis situations (e.g., institutional decisions in the context of the COVID-19 pandemic).

  • @ag5768
    @ag5768 Рік тому +8

    This son of a gun is a genius

  • @paradoxmindset6231
    @paradoxmindset6231 2 роки тому +9

    Dear Dr. Vaknin! Would like to let you know how much I appreciate your work for 2 decades and your presence here is truly awesome and a privilege to watch. You helped me to cope with so many difficulties... One day if possible I would like to know what you think about Kazimierz Dąbrowski and his Positive Desintegration Theory in relation with the treatment of Personality Disorders. Is it useful somehow in your opinion? All your lectures are simply superb and accurate! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me, sharing so much wisdom and knowledge! You're the best. God bless you!

  • @dilfuzakhaydarova2859
    @dilfuzakhaydarova2859 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you so much.

  • @stephaniefetters7568
    @stephaniefetters7568 2 роки тому +4

    Brilliant.

  • @mohsin_moin-ur-rasheed
    @mohsin_moin-ur-rasheed 2 роки тому +9

    On the question of is it only Mother that creates a Narcissist or it could be father also?
    I have another question; what if the father becoming the reason that mother cannot take proper care of the child?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  2 роки тому +6

      I have one question, too: why don't you do your homework and search the channel?

    • @mohsin_moin-ur-rasheed
      @mohsin_moin-ur-rasheed 2 роки тому +2

      @@samvaknin Ohh, yeaaahhh!! that's what I should be doing i guess.. Thanks... because I am hell bent of devouring any thing and all the things you have said, written and taught, starting now...

  • @idobartov8770
    @idobartov8770 2 роки тому +5

    Thank you very much professor!
    Can silence be considered sa acting out and how? You mentioned that but you didn't elaborate.

  • @techiechuckles
    @techiechuckles 2 роки тому +6

    Good day Sam. I have been following your study on narcissism and personality disorders for several years. It would be nice to receive services directly from you. What steps need to be followed? Thank you for sharing.

  • @lynndenver7588
    @lynndenver7588 Рік тому +3

    Sam what's happening? Are we going to get some new videos, miss your videos.

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Рік тому +3

      I am on TikTok now www.tiktok.com/@narcissismwithvaknin?lang=en

  • @furg
    @furg 2 роки тому +15

    I've identified this Acting Out pattern in myself and named it "the Rogue" - sometimes it's destructive to self and others (I don't let it hurt others anymore) and sometimes it's just playful.
    I wonder what you have to say about being able see the impulse to Act Out as it arises, yet allowing yourself to follow through with the action even though you already know it's not the best decision?

  • @puritymuthoni268
    @puritymuthoni268 2 роки тому +4

    Thank you Sam for the informative video as always.
    I recently watched Jeffery Dahmer's documentary and it really shocked me. Would it be accurate to say that his actions were forms of acting out? How about those who practice necrophilia or even paedophilia? Could that be acting out as well?

  • @Al-Ba-
    @Al-Ba- 2 роки тому +8

    Great video as usual.. so prof we can say that .. narcissism + avoidant personality =nice guy syndrome. Or not ? dose nice guy syndrome even exist in psychology Literature i really wants to know . Thank you

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  2 роки тому +14

      It is online nonsense, not a diagnosis or clinical entity. Watch my recent video on avoidant personality disorder (and people pleasing).

    • @Al-Ba-
      @Al-Ba- 2 роки тому +4

      Thank you so much you can’t imagine how this reply helped me .I really appreciate it . I was confused for almost a year now. got a feeling that something is wrong with this strange syndrome 😅I will watch the videos for sure thank you prof. 🌷

  • @Universepoetry1298
    @Universepoetry1298 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for your important videos. With respect to the role of the mother figure, does this mean that in a 2 parent family with a Cluster B father and a good enough mother who was the primary caretaker, is there no risk of internalized bad object of the father-as-mother-figure if the father was also a caregiver, perhaps not primary but in a 2 career marriage both parents play caregiving roles and the father is anyway often around acting in the ways cluster b persons do with their child. Is the good enough mother sufficiently protective in this case? Or is the father still something of a bad mother/object?

  • @AmaKOws
    @AmaKOws 2 роки тому +6

    Do you know of research that deals with transitioning a personality disordered into borderline to make him/her react to dbt and schema- therapy?
    Is the succesfull treatment for borderline dependend on not having comorbidities?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  2 роки тому +10

      I will discuss it in my next video.

    • @AmaKOws
      @AmaKOws 2 роки тому +3

      @@samvaknin Thank you.

  • @jwei2750
    @jwei2750 2 роки тому +2

    I am watching your videos the hole day 😵‍💫 I can’t stop 😂 please send help

  • @custardingtoncringleworthy1646
    @custardingtoncringleworthy1646 2 роки тому +10

    Have you any long videos about Schizoid Personality Disorder or Paranoid Personality Disorder Sam? I might have one of those 2 and it would be very helpful. have a theory that both these can be created by a Malignant Narcissist parent who bulldozes the childs boundaries making the child not want to be around people anymore. I think a PPD manifests when they cant trust their own parent who actively sabotages the childs growth. I could be wrong but id be very interested to know if im accurate or way off the mark. Thanks Sam

    • @marieluvie
      @marieluvie 2 роки тому +4

      The mother always is the gateway. She lets the father in quite literally and she thus fails or succeeds in safeguarding the child from harm and abuse. For example i am more angry at my mother than my stepfather who actually abused me physically for letting it happen, staying, beeing loyal to her relationship with him and not the one with her child. It looks like my mother abused herself and me via having sex with the wrong men and since sex does have meaning especially for women she created a not optimal living arrangement out of just that.

  • @MoodyReadingPenguinn
    @MoodyReadingPenguinn 6 місяців тому +1

    I have tried to find an answer to my question and forgive me if it’s anywhere on your channel and I missed it.
    I am still not sure if my husband is a covert narc or just passive aggressive (he will procrastinate on purpose to irritate me). He can’t even be in a room with someone talking about their accomplishments. Just the act of Prof. Sam calling himself an expert would set him off. I avoid talk shows or news programs when he is around because I can tell anyone deemed or says they’re an expert in ANYTHING upsets him. He has said he was this way as a kid also. He will watch a diy tutorial here on UA-cam and if I mention they have crazy talent he gets upset, not openly but sulks. Or he will say he thinks “fuck you” to anyone who does something very well. Is this extreme low confidence or am I living with a covert? I guess the fact I’m questioning reality should be my first clue 🤣

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  6 місяців тому +1

      Search the comorbidities playlist and the Mind playlist.

  • @Mullerchiropractic
    @Mullerchiropractic 2 роки тому +3

    What are your thoughts on BPD's and/or NPD's taking Aderoll to help with the disregulation aspect?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  2 роки тому +12

      Not recommended. Can produce extreme anxiety.

  • @francescosoprano1644
    @francescosoprano1644 2 роки тому +4

    Dr. Vaknin, how do I know if I could be one of these cluster B personalities? In everyone of your vídeos I identify both as the victim and as the perpetrador of some of the acts, thoughts and feelings you describe. I go to therapy, I take medicine prescribed by my doctors and I try to be a decent person. Most of the time I manage to be one. But I feel when I let go off my cunning and my rage and my scheming I am much more able to get not only what I want for myself but also what I feel is right (including for people who are being abused by others). But I suffer, everyone around me suffers, I engage in extremely dangerous behaviour and I really don’t know how I have survived so far.

  • @Raphael0654
    @Raphael0654 2 роки тому

    44:34 Here's the sketch: ua-cam.com/video/4BjKS1-vjPs/v-deo.html

  • @debbiemclennan438
    @debbiemclennan438 2 роки тому +1

    Actually, the light looks much better in you.

  • @dora945
    @dora945 Рік тому

    Hello, my mame is Dora...😅🧐