A lot of the story is missing here she admits that she was on heroin when she went to her grandfather's house so he was probably giving her money for sex that's why they had an arrangement, people like that leave out little factoids that point towards it being her fault because of the drugs and her willingness to have sex for drugs, yes grandpa is a scumbag but she made it too easy for him
Sadly... underlying I thought she maybe jealous... knowing he would be engaging in sexual activity with her daughters...sick as it seems...she comes across in MORE than 1 way of being in love with her grandfather Smh I don't know who's MORE messed up...Smh
@@groundhog_7977 she was manipulated, taken advantage of and groomed by her grandfather. “Not my kids” clearly means she won’t allow them to be hurt by him the way he hurt her. She isn’t “jealous” lol wtf. she’s protecting her kids. You’re just victim blaming… don’t be ignorant
@@groundhog_7977 agree 100%. Sure, this girl has had it rough in some ways but shes not just 100% a victim in this whole situation. Theres def more to it and theres def some blame to be placed on herself as well. Shes literally attracted to and lusts after her grandfather. Thats not some automatic thing that happens when you are abused. Theres much more to this story and many more contributing factors from HER side than we actually know. Without even getting too far into it, its apparent that, simply put, much of her situation(s) is on her.
It makes me fkng sick that her grandmother was so bent on her going to church but was knowingly allowing her husband to abuse every child in that house
Folks are in for a sobering reality that think they can hide behind the cloth and/or bible while seeking forgiveness for these disgustingly cruel acts. Common sense, the conscience and the bible states that when you continue doing something knowing that it's wrong, can only be defined at it's roots as blasphemy, and that's why and how the conscience becomes unhealthy, because the Holy Spirit has turned away.
That’s probably from the betrayal of those who she loved and thought loved her in return but instead they hurt her and betrayed her trust. A broken spirit that’s still fighting 💔💜
"I'm the common denominator...there's gotta be something about me that...brings out the worst in men". That broke my heart. It's not you, Star. It's them.
"Not my kids." I understand this woman doesn't think highly of herself, but that line right there makes her a hero. I hope her children become the adults that finally give her the love she deserves.
no, it doesn't. Don't give me this shit. OK I recognize bullshit in all fucking forms groomers Want you to have a low self-esteem. The reason she doesn't have self-confidence is because of what the groomers brainwashed her with that doesn't make her a hero anymore than a groomers makes them a hero by the shit that they say I am woman hear me roar and fuck everyone who says otherwise fuck everyone who says otherwiseyou want the truth hear it from me. I'm here. I'm a voice crying out in the darkness. I'm important I don't have to be a hero by shutting my mouth and bowing my head down motherfuckers cause I am a woman hear me roar.
EXACTLY …. I was trying so hard to not judge but to empathize somehow someway to broaden my mind when topic of being in 20’s and still carrying on with grandpa. My jaw dropped. ….. when she said “ NOT MY KIDS “ meant that and stayed true to that statement …. “ I was testifying against him because I love my baby cousin and his potential future victims more than him “ another line 🤯. Typically behaviour like this carries on generation to generation SHE BROKE THE CYCLE FOR THE LOVE CARE & PROTECTION OF HER CHILDREN. I’ve heard of many victims that kept a strong bond to their abusers. I don’t understand it , and thats a GOOD THING. She is not as sick as she thinks she is. She is extremely honest , honesty to this level is humility. She seems to have put her feelings n thoughts in perspective & owns her part in the sickness. She’s healing , I know this because she is capable of being honest not coming off as the victim and not laying blame on others. I’d be BLAMING EVERYONE . She’s more courageous and brave than I. This is horrifying , something out of a movie. Her journey has been painful. Hearing of incest within families living in the sticks and back mountains , I praise God everyday I was born to a loving healthy minded family . 🙏🙏🙏
-Her grandfather raped her... the definition of rape is that its non consensual (not saying "no" doesnt mean you wanted to be raped) -Freezing/not fighting back is an appropriate response to rape/trauma (very, very common) -Having an orgasim is the body's response to being minupulated sexually. That doesnt mean you liked it. Of course there may have been times when things felt pleasurable, thats the way sexual organs are designed to respond to touch. (Lots of survivors struggle with this, including male survivors) -You are incredibly brave to share this with as much vulnerability as you did! Im so proud of you. Thank you for sharing
Thank you for explaining this and putting that information out here for people to grasp and try to understand. Its an incredibly hard story and situation to fathom and what you just explained in detail I think would or could bring more survivors peace by just educating people on the bodies responses and how unless its explained and heard it can be torture to process if at all possible to process. I think star is the epitome of strength. I love her heart and fighting spirit.
Well said, totally agree! So proud of u for telling ur story, talking about ur trauma is therapy for the soul. Will say a prayer 🙏🏻 for her to stay drug free and live a happy life. 🥰
kimberly arnold I watched a short film about inbred a week ago. There were 3/4 brothers & 2-3 generations. You can tell one was brought up living in a dog kennel as he only barked. They were all utterly filthy & all lived in absolute squalor. Very sad to see.
It broke my heart too. It made me think of myself, to know I'm not the only one who feels like the common denominator.... Very heart breaking but at least I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
She is the common denominator. It's not her fault, that's the part that's sad to me. She doesn't seem to understand that predators can spot prey from miles away. She's groomed for abuse.
@@fallenstar7776 - Dear Star, I assume you are the remarkable woman telling your story on this video? If so, for starters please start calling yourself "Rising Star", which is what you are. It is your first family are the Fallen Stars, but you have survived that poisonous pack of disfunctional humans.What you have been through in your life so far would destroy many less strong souls. You are doing the right thing now, talking publicly about it. I hope you are starting to heal just by coming out into the open. Part of my own recovery was to cut off completely every jackass in my first family, none of whom protected me. We have no choice with blood relatives,, but we can leave them (at least as adults) if it's not a good scene.. Friends we can choose, and as adults take on good people as a replacement family. I hope you will stand fast now and allow only people in your life who will protect/encourage support you on your path to healing. Also, a good professional counsellor can help with trauma and self-esteem issues. I feel very positive about your future because I can see that although feeling so broken inside, you are strong in spirit and smart, and you have looked inside yourself to see your situation clearly. I see you also a beautiful woman in your prime (I speak as a Senior) and so please also enjoy your youth and beauty with worthy people, and have some fun doing things you enjoy. Do follow your dream to become a nurse! You'll be great at it, a very compassionate professional caregiver doing important work to help others. Rising Star, you ARE somebody. I send my love. YOU GO, GIRL!
She dissociated more times than I could count. You could visibly see her check out. The brain does that to survive trauma. My heart just breaks for her.
I feel that I do the same thing I was sexually abused from 9 till 17 I moved out at 17 and don’t want to and the comments didn’t stop till my step dad died .. at 15 my stepdad son rape me.. my mom committed murder my dad went to prison for molesting his niece.. the story goes on and on I do the samething as her
“ if you were older than 20, how could you let this happen? ” very horrible question to ask a survivor of manipulation, rape, and incest. i’ve enjoyed these interviews so far, but this one really rubbed me the wrong way. you have GOT to learn how to handle these types of situations. you’re very lucky that Star is a strong woman & you didn’t have to deal with a breakdown on camera. This was VERY inconsiderate questions to ask a survivor of trauma like Star. Do better, please. If not for your viewers, then for the interviewee. They deserve a safe space to be heard, not further judged. Bless you, Star. I wish nothing but the best for you, honey 🩷
You’re right in a way I guess but honestly the dude making these is not a licensed therapist or anything like that, he’s giving them a platform to tell their stories and sometimes his questions are more meant for the guest to have a direction to move their story toward when they stall on a specific moment 👀 The people taking part aren’t expecting him to coddle them and give them a form of therapy, they volunteer to tell their story for people like us to gain perspective when we haven’t lived through these type of situations
@@mhill93278phrasing matters. Simple adjusting it to "what would you say to people who would ask why you didn't fight back, even though you were an adult who could have?" Makes a world of difference. This man is a professional, he should know how to address these topics if he's dedicated to covering them. It is his responsibility as the interviewer, not as a therapist. And he should take this constructive criticism and apply it to future interviews. There's nothing wrong with people giving him feedback.
@@kiracarver988 Yeah also being a trained therapist/psychiatrist would help too, but the point was you’re demanding a level of professionalism that this interviewer has never claimed to possess or promise to his guests 🤷🏽♂️ So it sucks that his gesture to give a platform to these people who want to share their stories is some how “coming up short” for your satisfaction when you’re penalizing him for a promise that he never made 👀 Its like, now if he doesn’t rephrase himself is he an asshole because you said so? Or if he comes across as dry then because you’ve warned him now he’s doing this wrong? He never promised or claim to have a talent for this, you can’t get upset or demand perfection
@@mhill93278 nope, sorry, a professional interviewer absolutely should know how to be sensitive when the time calls for it, and how to construct questions even on the fly. Literally the expected job of a good interviewer. Just like how sometimes, an interviewer should know when to push someone's buttons to get to the truth of a matter, etc. lol what do you even mean. It's his job. He's the one who decided to cover such sensitive topics, but he's not expected to know how to be sensitive?
The worth and dignity of a soul is measured by what it delights in! And delight/happiness is our highest desire. Men have killed to have it. Kings have gone mad trying to find it. Wars have served it. Affairs have worshiped it. We all seek it. Sadly, billions have died without discovering its secret... namely, that joy is not an it, but a He. The Gospel is the good news that sinners can delight in a Holy God. It's the good news that all of our deepest desires are satisfied in the ONE who sent His Son to bring us to Him. . God is so valuable and so satisfying that the most loving thing he could do for us is to make Himself gloriously indispensable. He is the only being in the universe for whom self-exaltation is the highest virtue. Therefore, God's commitment to be glorified and our goal to be satisfied are not at odds but come to simultaneous consumation in the worship of His Son... who took upon Himself the Wrath that God had towards us in our sinful disregard of Him. A wrath that could never be appeased through man-made religion. Jesus didn't die to turn the world into a paradise, he died so that we could stop seeking paradise in the world... Temporal things such as beauty, popularity, money, sex, racial identity, gender reassignment... can never truly satisfy. BECAUSE WE WERE MADE FOR SO MUCH MORE! We were made to gaze intently into the Eternal Beauty of a majestic King, Father, and God... meet Jesus the Christ. Life is hard, God is good, Glory is coming 😊... Thanks for taking the time to read this comment.
Wouldn't she have had saved her kids if she hadn't had them? The more I watch these videos the more I feel we are able to solve a lot of the world's problems by bringing fewer humans into it... :-(
@@toegh this is the fourth comment I found in the past two days that was trying to push an argument either for or against abortion. Are y'all bots? Three of your other comments on this channel are about that. Change the tune.
I wish you had a woman asking these questions. You have no idea how jarring it is as a survivor of this kind of abuse to have a man tell you “you were having s*x with your grandfather at the same time as your mother was”, and “you’d think that at 20 you’d be old enough to protect yourself.” Have some fucking compassion.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was a victim of child hood sexual abuse from my grandfather fro the age of 5 until 8. I turned 9 in October, he died in November and my Dad started sexually abusing me in December and that lasted until I was 12 1/2. I finally told my Mom when I was getting ready to turn 17. The next day she took me and dropped me off at the state mental hospital because she told me I was the one who needed to get out of the house. I had siblings and she wanted to protect them because if anyone knew they would be taken away. After 2 weeks she picked me up after telling detectives that I didn’t want to file charges. My parents made me quit school because they didn’t want to tell them the truth as to where I had been. It was kept quite and never spoken of again. I am 49 now and 2 years ago,I told my husband. I have seen a therapist at least 2 days a week since then. I know what she is going through it’s not easy. My parents are still married and none of my family has any contact with me. I may have lost them all but I have and I am still finding myself. I am on my way to becoming a mental health counselor to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Thank you for your courage to speak!
OMG ... you are a survivor... thanks goodness you finally told somebody...live your life with not regrets and thank you for sharing and the work that you do
You’re very courageous. And you are, by the sounds of it, the first one to break the chain of hidden family abuse. Thats a tough load to bear. But i can absolutely, 100%, tell you that because of you other victims in your family will follow you. You have quite literally opened the escape door for others. I know this as a professional in the mental health field as well as the same actions of my mum in her family. You have started a process that can now never be locked up in secrets and lies again. That makes you an extremely brave hero. Extremely brave.
When she dissociated and had to ask him “can you please ask me a question” This is what crippling ptsd looks like after a life time of abuse. I pray she reads these comments so she can see what we see: A VICTIM she did nothing wrong she was conditioned - doesn’t matter if she was 21- she was still victimized and it was always rape. And she sacrificed herself to try to save her baby cousin. Not to mention the strength it took to break that generational curse , by saying “NOT MY BABIES” Keep protecting those babies star and keep loving yourself.
@@childishgambimbo3694 god I hate people who be like “you’re not a victim you’re a survivor” like ik you have good intentions but seriously just stop. Yeah she’s a survivor but she is still a victim because it happened to her. She technically, by definition, and in any interpretation is a victim and you can’t change that by saying she’s not or saying she’s a survivor. They’re two things that don’t have to be exclusive.
“It was so easy not to hit my son by I don’t understand why it was so easy for them to hit me.” That hurts so much, people are cruel. Edit: I know this is late and to some of you who went through this trauma, I’m so sorry you guys had to go through that but just know that you are still here and you are the strongest person no matter what anyone tells you, you never let your abuser win by living your best life and leaving them in the past and I hope you leave them in the past, it’s okay to think about them every once in awhile because we are human after all, if you still struggle please don’t be scared to talk to anyone, not just therapy but a close friend and if you don’t have anyone, hell you can talk to me and I’ll give you my sc. take care of yourself guys :)
@@robertmacnaughton4190 Many of us who have gone through trauma are told to "get over it" by others, who have never been through much of anything horrendous. They're too stupid to care
Incest can become much like Stockholm Syndrome where victims end up feeling protective of the abuser. Its akin to brainwashing. Mark I hope you learned something from this and approach victims with more compassion and sensitivity. Star, you are a brave beautiful lady that deserves the best life. I admire your courage!
Yes. It happened to my daughter with her father and it was the most difficult thing to endure and understand. The need to protect them is often very strong and misunderstood. ❤
"Not my kids" I hope Star realizes how actually strong and important she is. Girl had the strength to break a chain of abuse that spanned generations despite everything she went through
@@yourseductions1215 She mentioned her grandfather also abused her mother and aunts, and cousin. Star really helped break the cycle when she refused to let him be a part of her children's lives and to support her cousin in the trial
Don’t ever call it “sex”... it’s rape. People refuse to say rape because it makes them uncomfortable... and it should... because it’s the worst thing you can do to another human.
@@Buz-Lunch-Punx I never said they couldn't say it nor did I invalidate what they said. I added my take on it. You can say "no one asked you" but it's UA-cam which is much like a public forum so fuck you right in your fucking face. 😁
Her grandmother would sleep with one arm on him just to make sure he wasn’t messing with her children...... but wouldn’t leave his ass alone to make sure he wasn’t messing with her children.......
@@Tommysotomayorsmomma I honestly hope & pray that what you just said you said in a very dark comically twisted way, & if so sure I get the 'joke', however in all honesty what & where in pedophilia/sexual abuse/rape/incest is there any room for making jokes out of something that is so depraved, & where it leaves in its wake victims whose lives are forever changed & destroyed, some of those victims are left with seeing no other option other than suicide form the horrific side-effects that these people eveyone from little children through to adults. Such a skewed fucked-up remark such as yours has no place within such a horrifically heartbreaking topic such as this one. The decent thing would be is to apologize for any offense, because I your comment offended me.
I have watched a good number of the videos on this channel but this was deep: the flat calm tone of her voice, the lack of tears vs the story and the pauses... I pray for good days ahead for her and her family.
Stockholm syndrome is one of the saddest things... the fact that she blames everything on herself and hopes SHE can be forgiven. And the way she loved him to the end. Its heartbreaking.
She even says that if she could have a father figure. She just wanted a man to not beat her, to protect her, as sick and sad, love her. He groomed her. She also repeatedly says how he is charismatic and larger than life. Heartbreaking 😥
Thank you for bringing up Stockholm syndrome. You are 100% correct, and somebody needed to say it. On another note, though, I truly believe she could have shot and killed him, whether during the commission of a rape or not, and she would be in the right. I’m afraid, as I’m sure she was, that it’s not a sure thing in front of a jury. I pray, “Oh Mighty God, please bring her peace, in Jesus name I pray. Amen.”
Stars story is truly horrific and I completely agree with you but I can only think that in forgiving her grandmother, she was letting go of any anger she held for her. Yes, the grandmother knew what was going on but we don't know the full back story. None of us were there. Maybe she too had been abused by the grandfather before she was aware of him abusing his grandchildren and lived in silent fear as she didn't have the courage to leave. Star appears to be a very loving and caring woman with such a big heart despite being let down by the people who really should have loved and protected her the most. I admire her strength and honesty and wish her all the best for the future.
@@suz1017 she’s talking about her grandmother forgiving her. She is the victim. The grandmother should be asking for Stars forgiveness, not the other way around.
Yes. I was so stunned by that part. And although I don't want to infer anything, it is very very very very hard to believe that the grandmother did not know anything. Very hard. And I speak as a mother. How do you not see your kids and see that your partner goes away so often and the relationship between the kids and your partner? I don't see how that is possible and I would love to hear about this when it is proved to be true that the mom did absolutely not know (I'm not speaking about avoidance, or traumatic amnesia.)
@susan marshall Yes. Thank you dear. Afterwards I got that. I don't always understand everything that's said on these vids due to the accent. It's still very chocking.
@@ivanrussell3083 She was raped repeatedly by someone who knew what they were doing and should have had the human decency not to do such a thing. She is the victim here, not a willing participant in the act.
@@matthewcioffi6385 nah bruh in your 20's she was a "Willing Participant " like she said he didn't physically force her she chose to continually have sex with her Grandfather! He's is a predator yes but she has to take responsibility for her part!
5.8 million views on this interview. I think it is safe to say that we need an update on Star. Every time I come across one of your uploads, I think of Star. No other interview has touched my heart like this one. I pray she is safe, happy, healthy and living the life she deserves bc damn it, she deserves a happy life. I just want to hug her.❤️
first time i saw it today, and i feel captivated. it like she has touched my heart, i felt here pain and wish i could somehow help her feel better. this woman has no idea how charismatic she is. I hope we will have an update soon, and it better be a good one!
i wish i could give Star a hug& take all her pain away. All i can do is pray for her bc she's way stronger than she gives herself credit for💪much love star❤️🕯🙏
When she said"ask me a question"you can tell she was doing her best to get all the thoughts that she had brought back up from all the questions and thinking back on everything, she needed a question just to get that out of her mind.. I feel so much for what she went through and I truly hope she is doing well ❤️🩹
@@lisafrederick8870 I thought I was the only one that falls asleep to her voice. I too will put this interview on just to hear her soothing voice. I do not mean that disrespectful in any way bc the story she tells is just heartbreaking and raw. Everyone should listen to it from beginning to end at least once UNLESS it is triggering to your own trauma. Her voice is just so calm and soft. It’s beautiful. She tells her story with such conviction. I can honestly say I believe that a lot of these people that are interviewed either lie completely, or exaggerate so they can get exposure or “clout” as the younger generation calls it and a little bit of money but I can see and hear her truth pour out of her. This is a cautionary tale. She has made me more skeptical as a mother and grandmother of my own family bc that is where it happens 9 times out of 10. In the home with people you trust the most.
@Joe Dick What is wrong with you? She should blame herself a little bit for her grandfather raping her? She was a CHILD. How do you think that trauma and abuse impacted her as an adult? You are incredibly sick and twisted. NOTHING EVER makes that behavior even a little bit okay. NOTHING.
she’s trying to make it clear then her mom was actually raped but she was raped too and it’s making me sad she doesn’t see the two situations as the same. they were both raped.
I think she feels its worse because they were most likely raped as children and her mother is probably someone she loves more than herself.. it's so sad..
I believe it’s due to the fact that her mom was held down and such. To her that would be more traumatic.. he was going to do it either way, by her going along with it she could have saved herself a hell of a lot more hurt. She was also protecting her grandma and niece.
Thank you so much for talking about the ugly part I’ve never verbally said to anyone. My abuser was my dad and I know I have to address this disgust and shame with myself that I hated it and didn’t want it, but he made sure I enjoyed it…. And that’s the first sexual experience I had. I can tell it was hard for you to get hat out but it felt so liberating hearing someone else say it
Yes, but I guess we should know more about how the interviewees are recruited and how consent for their videos is negotiated. I am a little worried that what we are witnessing is an act of emotional exploitation of people who are already very vulnerable. I very much hope I am wrong...
@@interestingvideos4me I hope so too. I think just from watching some other videos that he is genuine. He allows the person to tell their story in full candor. The way that most of it is uncut I believe shows that. The strength in this women is unbelievable
Next to murder, incest is man's worst crime. But the idea that this monster raped his own daughter and then raped his daughters' daughter - who likely was HIS daughter - is staggering. She never actually says what the 23 test said...and believing that he had a vasectomy because he said he did sounds like more of his bullshit.
Exactly what I was gonna say. I hope she can continue to put one foot in front of the other, and for the sake of her children as well as hers, get the professional help that she needs.
You broke the cycle! You got away, made sure your kids were never exposed to this, and helped put this man away. You are strong and we are celebrating you!!
Thank you for your bravery . It took me 14 yrs. To get my daughter away from her dad and grandmother ,they had been sexually abusing her from the age of newborn to age of 9 which I was unaware of. I thought at the time I was just getting her out of a home that was as fasting with drugs and evil people. I didn't find out that all in this occurred until my daughter was 10 the courts continue to try and make me send her to visitation when I was just requesting an advising the courts that it was a drug house but will only hold. They were sexually abusing her and humiliating her. So on. My is 17 now! I have been taking her to counseling since she was 3 years old. It's so sad because the victim always feels like it's their fault. You must have done something wrong to serve it. That's what these predators do. Like she said in the interview or good at what they do. I had no clue that was going on. They brainwashed her so bad and put fear in her so bad that she didn't tell me anything. Like I said until she was 10 because her little brain put it in the back of her head because she couldn't cope. As soon as I found out I called the DA they did nothing about it. They said we don't have enough evidence. I said you don't have a 13-year-old here. Willing to sit on stand and explain everything that she went through. To just day she's still in counseling she's very traumatized. Continue to try to find ways to help her. I I went through similar situation with my biological dad whom I wasn't raised with. When I reconnected with him when I was 21. She started doing things that were borderline and I was just write it off as I was overreacting. Anyone out there here read this and is going through the same thing don't feel like it's your fault. Say something? Do something. Keep saying something and tell somebody does something to help you . There are some people that are so evil awful there are so People are still out there and God knows who else their abusing sexually mentally. Special thanks to the host as well as star for telling her story because it takes people like us to continue to put it out there so people can stick up for themselves. I understand her people hurt people.I was abused by my mom physically and mentally for so many years and I never did the things that my mother did to me to my children. Us victims of these horrific actions need to stand up and speak up for the little ones and the big ones that don't know or understand. We need to teach our children. Unfortunately that there are several ways that people will try to situate abuse you and make it seem like it's okay ❣️ ❤ Be safe star. Continue to tell your story. It will help others.
I am an incest survivor. Thank you so much Star❤️ That is the first time I have ever written that sentence. You inspired me. You made me feel not alone. I am 57. I’m smiling rn bc of how much better you made me feel about myself in the world. Love you!
I am so sorry for all of you I'm a father of two young girls and a young boy and never in my wildest nightmares could I imagined inflicting anything like this on my children I will pray for you all and I hope that you truly find the piece that you deserve God bless
Given the mature themes that Mark has chosen to interact with on a daily basis for this SWU project, you'd think he would ask more mature questions than, "if you're 20 years old, how do you let your grandfather get away with this?" You can argue all day that he's playing devil's advocate and just trying to challenge the interviewees so he can get the best content possible, but I really don't think the ends justify the means. Star gave Mark so much information and heartbreakingly beautiful reflection in this video; he didn't need to say that to her. Victims are already made to feel like the abuse is their fault from every angle, so to lull her into a false sense of security by providing a safe space to share her experience and then imply that she could have stopped her abuse any time if she really wanted to--I just think mark can do better and his interviewees deserve better. God knows they've been through enough before he gets there.
Mark doesn’t respond. Pu$$y he needs to go through to understand it I guess….. pretty sad he wants to hear about it but not appreciate it for the rawness and vulnerability she’s delivering this with and he’s so rude. Sad
He was also repeating back to her in her own words so that he matched her emotionally. Remember he is interviewing, not doing therapy. It is not his role to correct her language.
It was all manipulation. Star's grandfather knew she had low self esteem, that she was abused, that she battled drug addiction, that she had no place to stay, and that she needed to stay clean to see her son. He gave her what she needed, food, clothes, shelter, encouragement, even love. He told her all the things she needed to hear... just so it would be easier to violate her later. He was a sociopath.
the fact that she got emotional about her grandmother forgiving her… as if it was her fault. my heart breaks for this woman. i hope she heals and finds the clarity to realize that she was only ever the victim. God bless her
You can tell there is confliction within her about if it was her fault or not. She says she could have said no, but that's not the story she told. She wants to blame herself. But, sir is very much a victim of a monster. She should be the one forgiving get grandmother, not asking for it. I know it's an unpopular opinion, but as a Mother of two daughters and a woman who has survived physical, and SA. I couldn't stay with a man or stand by a man who was doing this to my daughters for any reason. I would be homicidal to be perfectly honest.
Guilt is common among the feelings victims go through. It's a long process, it needs to be expressed and respected as such, at least in the beginning, or else the victims will feel furthermore misunderstood and that their feelings are inadequate and not worthy of being shared. This testimony is really helpful for me as a psychologist in France, I wholeheartedly thank Star for sharing her experience with us, for other victims to dare and speak about incest even as adults, and for mental health professionals.
How dare you ask this victim why she didn’t stop her abuse?!? If you’re going to speak to victims, you better treat them with 100% respect and sensitivity.
It’s an interview on a sensitive topic. He has the right to ask anything he wants this isn’t a counseling session. This is for entertainment. If you are so easily triggered by a question why watch these videos???
You just made my guts turn… entertainment is not the right word to use. This is for visibility. Bringing very grim topics and shedding light on them so that others may feel seen, heard and potentially give other survivors some kind of hope. This is not for entertainment. Excuse me while I go throw up now.
@@Sourninjalo Its obvious that you lack of some good old-fashioned backbone. Not everything is for entertaining purposes, and I wish that somewhere sometime in the future, you will have the capacity to understand that. If you don’t respect yourself, try to show some respect to the people who got hurt because of y’all.
@@itzfrosty3784 What she probably meant is that she would never let anything like that happen to her kids. He could take advantage of her but "not her kids".
It’s all r*pe. Her mom fought back and it was r*pe. Star may have been complicit - still r*pe. Being complicit is not consent, in fact it’s self protection and freezing is 100% a trauma response. Also to ask “you were 20, weren’t you old enough to stop it?” As if when you turn 18 you magically transform into an empowered advocate for yourself that can stop generational incest. This woman is incredibly strong and I hate that she blames herself whatsoever but I unfortunately understand why.
Thank you for saying this. Victim shaming/blaming is the worst and I cringed when he asked her that question. There are so many layers to the response an individual has to sexual abuse, there should be no judgement.
As a victim, I feel like I’ve never seen another adult talk about being abused like this. It hurts and at the same time feels so good to not feel completely alone with this sort of thing
@@idkkimberlyanne correct. My stepfather raped me from 4-15 years old and got 5 years probation....and therapy where the therapist told the courts after 3 years he was cured. Hes still free and Im not even close to being free.
she was groomed . this man made her feel safe , while everyone around her was angry at her . she stayed because she felt like she had no other options i don’t get why it’s hard for people to understand that
her granddad treated her like a lady like she wanted to be. she felt a sense of....something, But it went away. She felt violated & disgusted--but at the same time, she loved her grandad and don't want to see him in a bad situation--so she kept having sex with him.
The silence in this is heartbreaking. You can see she's going to places when she's silent. Star is such a strong person. Her reflectiveness and honesty is so inspiring. I really wish her the best in life, she truly deserves it.
Currently she is battling a nasty addiction. Her mom is on TikTok and she was sober for a few months and had her own channel but unfortunately relapsed. She is currently living with her sister. Her life has been very traumatic but she is a beautiful soul.
@jayme11475 I’m so sorry to hear that but I think that addiction would be the only way I could survive on this earth after being through all she has suffered. I’d be an addict too. I hope she can find the peace and healing she deserves.
@@thomasbeebe-wurzer3061 this girl has been through so much. The fact that she chose a man that favours him-and keep in mind that this fellow _grew to favour him as he aged,_ as his beard grew in and such-maybe a large black overall man would’ve been her preference no matter what even if her grandfather had died before she was born, maybe she just prefers large black men and the overalls are incidental, maybe the attraction is totally influenced by unprocessed trauma, but who the fuck are we to judge after hearing what she’s been through?
Im 45 years old today, I still feel the guilt and shame of being molested by mom for years and its hard to come to terms with the fact that yes it physically felt good but emotionally devasted me for life.
@@joshuaday3980 This is such an important comment. The “guilt and shame” is the killer. As if men being raped by women is somehow not real, because he is stimulated and orgasms. Those are involuntary. What a horrible thing you’ve had to fight against; having your truth invalidated even by your own mind. You cannot control your body with your mind if your mind and heart are being victimized simultaneously. Star’s physical response did not mean she wanted it to happen. And even if eventually her mind played tricks on her to desire it because of how she had to disassociate from her own self, she was victimized and it was still RAPE. Just as it would be for anyone being coaxed into it while being intoxicated. I cannot imagine the pain you carry, you have my deepest sympathies. But from the bottom of my heart, I hope you let go of this guilt and shame. It is keeping you in a prison. This was not your fault. It could never be your fault, NO MATTER WHAT.
When she said “there has to be something about me that brings out the worst in men” my heart dropped, I used to say that to myself all the time sometimes I still say it, I didn’t think other people would have that same mindset.
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I was looking for this comment . when u get repeatedly mistreated by people around u, u start thinking that there must be something about u BC everyone else don't get to see the side they show you at least not to the same severity. Sometimes they mistreat u unprovoked so it's like is it something with the way I look or carry myself. Why do i still attract this. What did i do wrong. it becomes a cycle of thinking that haunts u
don't think of it like that. you don't bring out the worst in men, you are an unwilling participant in someone unleashing hell on earth upon you. just because they've "never hit a woman before" doesn't mean they didn't have it in em. truth be told everyone is capable of horrible things, its just that some people choose to act on that.
i’m 37 & have felt like that. “what am i doing wrong?” girllll absolutely nothing! we are queens with crowns on our heads. all of us woman.... we are the creators of life. these men need to get right or get left!
This whole interview is a lot of self-blame. That ain’t it. If someone is targeting or preying on you, the problem isn’t you. It’s not the rabbit’s fault for looking so damn biteable. It’s the fox’s fault for not keeping their teeth to themselves.
You are such a strong person, Star. You're doing an amazing job, keep going, don't let your trauma stop you from living your life!❤️ Secondly, what a lot of people have already mentioned: The questions were extremely insensitive and poorly worded. Even if she herself calls it "sex", it was definitely rape and as an interviewer you should definitely not call it sex. Also, as already mentioned in other comments, she didn't just let these things happen. Also very poorly worded question. It was a trauma response of her body, she has absolutely NO BLAME for this. Stop calling it that.
"Not my kids", and later the "I'm not his anymore" was so powerful oh my god. This woman deserves the purest love. She has such a powerful ability to love despite all that was done to her. Its not your fault star, i truly hope and pray you find healing and peace
@@QueensNewYorkguyget out of here with this victim blaming bs bro. If u haven’t been through abuse, u don’t have the slightest idea what it’s like. So kindly stfu 😊
Enjoying sexual assault or domestic violence is a coping mechanism to repeated trauma. Physically, your body is responding as bodies do when touched, regardless of if you want it. It's like being tickled, its an uncontrollable response. But mentally, the mind will often try to translate abusive relationships into positives, to cope with the overwhelming reality of the situation. Basically the brain tries to limit the stress response by sending enjoyment responses, but it's simply a harm reduction and survival technique. Similar to Stockholm syndrome. Plus orgasms send dopamine hits to the brain--regardless of if theyre consensual or not--thus the 'enjoyment.' Basically, it's a disassociation between the prefrontal cortex (conscious self) and the more primordial parts of our brain. Point being, it wasn't your fault and you have nothing to feel ashamed of. It's a common response. I hope Star sees this.
unfortunately the evidence for these subconscious ‘survival mechanism’ theories is scant. they are tolerated in psychiatry because they do help to relieve pain regardless of their scientific veracity. on the flip side, this kind of therapeutic theory immediately presents itself as goofy & casts an undeserved unscientific light on psychology & psychiatry in the minds of skeptics, measurably delaying therapy among victims of this nature. there is nothing about a child victim feeling momentary physical pleasure or even enjoying being violated by a perpetrator in general that either reassigns any blame to the child victim or absolves the adult from responsibility for these capital crimes
@@knuthamsun6106 It sounds like you, specifically, have a problem with the complexity of victims' accounts. No one I know believes that these theories are goofy, and you're projecting your own issues here. And you're right that the research is scant, but as someone with a lot of history with victims of domestic violence, it's most certainly true (even if just in part). Aligning yourself with a predator to prevent further harm being done to you is called the 'fawn' response. If the abuse goes on long enough, this can morph into true feelings of affection despite the abuse. This is, in part, due to the brain's need for social connection, so if you're cut off from everyone but your abuser, then you must put your social needs onto the abuser. It's normal, but nonetheless a trauma response.
@@yogatella I'm not a psychiatrist, though I do plan on going into the field. In the meantime, I've read a lot of books on trauma and neuroscience. I also have many many family members and friends who experienced sexual assault or domestic abuse, so unfortunately I am very familiar with the common trauma responses.
@@yogatella Fyi, forgot to mention this, but I highly highly recommend "The Body Keeps the Score" by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk as a way to understand the complex neurobiological processes that occur during and after trauma. People often focus on the psychological parts of mental illnesses--and with good reason--while forgetting that the the way the brain is physically wired largely affects mental health. For example, after traumatic events, research has shown that the amygdala (the part of the brain that controls fear responses) can get up to 20% larger and significantly increases the number of receptors. All of this contributes to a common PTSD symptom known as hyper vigilance, and sometimes with medication this particular symptom can be alleviated. This is one of the reasons I'm interested in psychiatry, because with the right medicine and therapists, patients can really see their lives changed. I speak that as someone with PTSD, as well as many family members with PTSD as well. It's a fascinating subject, and I have the deepest sympathies for survivors like Star. And with the right treatment, life can get so much better for people like her.
This was the most painful interview I've ever listened to. It is so raw and honest and I'm f****** crying my eyes out. Star, you are a child of God and your soul is clean and pure and you deserve nothing but the absolute best things in the world. You are probably one of the bravest people I've ever heard. I hope you know that what you went through isn't your fault. I'm praying for you
There is blame to be on her , she enjoyed getting f***** by her grandfather.She was a consenting adult that kept it going.That's incest, sick AF. And as for the grandmother, she's the worst for letting generations of girls get molested by that sicko predator.
@@fauzianezam246 whoa! HTFU!!! That is NOT what is happening.... Obviously you've never had to go through s@xual assault... So shut your mouth about shit you don't even know about!
Her grandmother knew what was happening. She was an enabler. I don’t believe the stories, where a woman says, that she didn’t know, what was happening with her daughters or grandchildren. A woman knows. Can feel it in the air. If you care about your kids, you just know.
Star said her grandmother forgave her as if her granddaughter was intentionally participating in hurting her grandmother for sheer enjoyment. What volumes does it speak that she was moved to tears by her grandmother's grief and not her own when Star is the one that underwent trauma at the hands of her pervert husband? We are talking about people who needed to protect her from a serious behavior and crime, knew the disturbing issues were happening, and did nothing. Does not THAT speak volumes for Star, girly? It's sick to assume the survivor has to feel sorry for the enabler's inactions and the perpetrators' disgusting actions. Grief? She should be angry at her grandmother feeling the need she wanted an apology from Star. So many excuses made for enables and perpetrators no wonder this stuff just keeps happening to young girls and boys all over the world. You keep turning a blind eye and/or feeling the need to empathize with the onlookers who did nothing, and yet expect an apology. F_ck that. Stars love and identity was smeared and robbed from her by perverts and the onlookers are just as perverted as the perpetrator. Period.
You're 100% right. Her grandmother had a responsibility to protect the other women/girls and she chose not to confront her POS husband because of her own selfish reasons. @@nildaluzrodriguez
Please keep us updated on this LADY. I want to believe in her so badly, it hurts. I can literally hear us all in the balcony of her life cheering her on.
"Secrets keep us sick" and the truth will set her free. She did it! She let it all go right here, and now she's free. So beautiful and real. Thank you, Mark for giving her the chance to do it. *hugs*
@@chanted1558 you would be wrong. Secrets DO keep us sick, speaking, writing and working through them can indeed heal us. It's alchemical. That is why therapy works.
@@chanted1558 “ @ yes Chaunte Williams she needs more then mark platform to speak her truth to Get the professional help she truly NEEDS!! This maybe be a 1st step but if people think oh she can just come on mark ch say her truth and Oh she is healed!! And feels better!! Etc etc they are so wrong !! This lady needs yrs of really help, she has A lot of work ahead of her!! I pray she gets the professional help she needs. She has ALOT OF WORK TO PUT INTO HERSELF IF SHE EVER WANTS TO EVEN GET/feel a little normal. I pray she finds some peace, but u can hear it in her voice SHE IS BROKEN!!! God bless her. I have worked with the homeless since 2004, I’ve seen may of women like her, her story, her life, etc I work with street kids age 16-30 yr old , I’ve seen /heard skit over the yrs. some never get the help they truly need. Sometimes the damage is too much . Etc sending her love& prayers 🙏🏽, Love, Light& Healing 🙏🏽🦋💙🇨🇦
Her pain is profound, palpable. She is so intelligent and well spoken. She was groomed and for her to be so transparent, so honest to help others-- she is nothing but brave. She is full of insight. She saved her children, beautiful soul. Thank you for telling your story.
Yes! She was totally groomed. I wish she had the courage to say “No” to save herself - way before she found out she had a baby girl in the oven. It just goes to show both the power of grooming and the power of a mother’s love. I hope she finds true peace.
I totally agree with Deanna. I am so impressed with her intelligence, her compassion and ability to verbally articulate her story. It seems she desires an objective picture of her life....that has to be very hard with the emotion and images clouding her mind. God bless her. I hope she finds the One Who can set her free.
This is one of the most gripping interviews. Not ashamed to say I’m back here watching AGAIN. Would love to get an update about her. I hope she’s killing it in life! Love and light. 💜💜💜
True. I still can't believe my entire family knew about some cousins of mine being molested by their father in california (were in Michigan) and never said anything to him or the police. They spoke amongst themselves but never towards the person doing it. He was making his son's blow him and nobody stopped it. 🤬 He's been dead for a decade and I talk with those cousins on Facebook and all I can think about is how scary that must've been for them as child.
@@hellosweetheart3350 Mine killed my mother and shot me after he was told another sister was going to tell. He beat me, my mom and now i am married to a man who tells me its my fault. I was 8 when it began.
You don’t deserve this. You are a good person. Most good people get abused and taken advantage of because of their nature. Leave this man. I’m also working on leaving the abusive family I am from. Have you ever looked at innocent children? Did any of them deserve their mistreatment? No. You didn’t either. Everyday write down what you know is good about yourself.
@@jhadziamfume6802 Jhadzia, you are somebody! Your partner can't tell you it's your fault, FFS! I truly hope you have a way to get help! Message me whenever you like on here, and if you need it we can talk!
“He’s gone and I’m still here. And it’s all still here and very real”. A person lives with the trauma of abuse for life, even when the perpetrator live on freely or dies
Exactly. That broke my heart when she said that. Her grandfather is in hell. He has already begun to pay his deserved eternal price. My prayer is that she finds the truth in all of this so that she can fully heal. She can then put all of the guilt where it belongs and live a life with freedom being the only thing she has setting on her shoulders.
When she said “sorry can you ask me a question” I could feel the anxiety of every horrible experience racing through her body. Mark needed to save her in that moment and it’s just so sad. I hope she finds peace ❤️
The was she got silent and spaced out I could feel the emotions and flash backs she was experiencing made me cry cause I know first hand what she was going through and how she was feeling that very moment trying to get that vision out her head
Same. That was painful to hear and she felt like she was a bad person bc her body reacted to what was happening. Like girl you can't help that. Ugh I hope she gets some professional help
That part was the most difficult for me to watch along with her silence at the end. Her silent moments and staring off struck me as disassociation. I'm 50 and have disassociated on a daily basis as long as I can remember. She is a sweet soul who was terribly wronged on so many levels from such a young age. I understand the pain all too well. I wish I could give her a hug. She is a survivor.
@@lesliedelong5330 it's very common. I'm currently in a period of depersonalization. 3 weeks of dissociation. There are lots of exercises online that can help you to come out of it.
My first interview here. I was hanging on her every word. She just amazes me with the way she is so authentic. I will never forget this one ever. What an amazing Lady.
Star, your body has physiological responses with rape. You can have an orgasm and not be okay with what’s happening. There’s a lot of information out there about this happening and I hope you come across it. You can NOT blame yourself for what that predator did to you. No matter your age. I’m so sorry you went through this.
Yes, this is exactly right. So many rape survivors feel guilty and ashamed that they had an orgasm, but our bodies were designed to respond to certain stimulus. It's a purely physiological response. It's not the person's fault.
When she said what happened to her mom was “honest to god rape” broke my heart. It’s as if she doesn’t think what happened to her was “honest to god rape.”
I’m a 6’3 280 pound man working in a metal fabrication company listening to this woman, I’m holding tears back. I am inspired and truly in awe at the strength this lady has, I’ve never felt so inspired! Thank you so much for your story, I needed to hear this point of view. I’ll never comprehend the pain she suffered but just by her speaking on it, it opens my eyes.
She is so damn intelligent. Articulate. I believe every single word. She is the epitome strength, resilience, and dignity. A true warrior and a true survivor. This episode easily ranks top 3 of the most poignant, compelling, bittersweet stories I've seen on your channel and possibly overall. Such a great job! Well done, sir!
“my son was the same age as I was when I was first hit. he did the exact thing that I did to get hit and it was so very easy not to hit him” this is such such an important moment. where the victim actively makes the choice not to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. i love seeing people break the cycle and choose to love and nurture their kids instead of forcing a bad childhood on them to make up for the one they themselves were given.
My mom and dad both broke their family’s cycles of abuse, loved me more than their own pain, never once hit me or were physically inappropriate with me. My dad was brutally, disgustingly abused but he was the best dad to me EVER. Knowing what they went through and how they did the exact opposite with me is incredible and the older I get the more I admire and thank them. I GOT LUCKY. Few others did and it breaks my heart! Every child deserves the love, kindness, safety, and shelter I was given!! 💔
I can tell she is very practiced at choosing her words and tone so she doesn’t say the wrong thing or come off the wrong way. NOT in a lying way. In a survival way. We can spot our own 😞
Yes, you can also tell in the way she sounds very matter-of-fact about it, with no real emotion most of the time. I always wondered about that about myself in therapy, how I could tell so many horrible, painful things in such a matter-of-fact way, and I think it's in some way a part of the distancing you have to do mentally and emotionally in order to survive.
We experience this because we experienced trauma at such a young age. I dissociate easily when I talk about the things I have been through. It's a coping mechanism that we developed as a child when trauma was occuring.
This was one of the most difficult interviews to watch… and it was even more disturbing that he only received 7 years in prison. Even though he did end up dying in there, he deserved multiple life sentences for what he did.
I know, right? Josh Duggar just got 12+ years for watching child porn. How does a rapist pedophile with multiple victims over decades get a measly 7 years?! What a sick system of justice.
This almost similar happened to me and my mom knew I told her after it happened the first time and she continued pushing me into his arms the monster for me no matter what . I’m still crying about this and am old now and after many years of therapy . It just does never get away !
@@juttapluhar2819 I send you love and healing prayers for you and anyone who came into pain from your abuser. May you find some peace in your life as well as hope to help others. You’re a WARRIOR 💪🏽 and don’t you ever forget it! Jetta Pluhar, Thank you 🙏🏽 for sharing your story, I pray it will help others. 🙏🏽
I’m so thankful Star is still here, this is one of the strongest women I’ve ever listened to speak. I hope she reads these comments and knows that everyone who’s heard her story loves her immensely and is here for her and the other young women in her family with open arms. Ps. It makes me so sad to hear she felt she wasn’t beautiful, the entire time I watched her I felt like she just radiated beauty from the inside out, truly a special soul.
The fact that this poor woman repeatedly blames herself throughout this whole interview breaks my heart. I want to hug her and be there for her so much.
Steve Thompson, Star didn't enable him, she was a victim. Educate yourself on the dynamics in this type of abuse, then you won't make the mistake on passing judgement on the abused.
The amount of adults that failed this girl just breaks my soul into bits. So many people could have prevented all of this pain for her. I don’t want to blame the mother too much because she is also a victim, but when you have a child of your own, your duty to protect them becomes _the most_ important thing on planet Earth. I know it is scary, but she should have called the damn police. You are not the common denominator. You are not nobody. You are a kind, loving woman and mother who has been through hell. You are somebody and you are so loved. Thank you for sharing such harrowing experiences with us.
When she talks about being disgusted with herself for enjoying what he did sometimes, it hit deep. A lot of people don't say anything about being abused sexually out of fear of being judged for participating in or liking it. Pleasure is pleasure it's not your fault. You are SO understood and loved!!!!
I suppose that that is the part that is so striking to me. How common I have learned that Molestation is in the world. Mostly, it is associated with shame and then there are the cases where it is quite open, not I society but in some families and I kept encountering both forms of it, from time to time, when I was dating .
I agree. His deafening silence for her to speak her peace made this one of his best interviews. Knowing when not to say something is an art in itself. Prayers in Jesus name for her and thank you Mark for allowing her the time she needed to speak.
Indeed! As she said, "we need to have more conversations about this subject"...but we need a stronger Vocabulary to communicate rape and self deprecation, that would damn the 'taboo'.
When she said “I don’t think I could still love me” my heart absolutely shattered. You sweet sweet tortured soul you deserve all the love this world has to offer.
Especially when it's incest, like I know i feel had I never existed this would have never been an issue in my family therefore even if I don't blame myself, I still recognize it wouldn't be an issue without me. 🤷♀️
Yes, I blamed myself for pretty much everything. Trying not to do that and place the blame where it belongs. So hard when raised in severe abuse. Have to retrain your brain not to do that
This woman is an absolutely beautiful soul. The degree of honesty that she has is so brave. She had no one looking out for her, and yet she is still an ethically sound person.
Connie, I'm not, though. I'm not ethically sound. I promise. I have sooo many vices. I've just gotten real good at being honest. Lies are revolting to me. And secrets that scare me...make me feel like a coward to keep inside. But. I THANK you for your kind words. So much love to you. 🤎 Star
"I'm the common denominator" made me pause the video because that hit so hard. That's literally what I sound like. And I'm finally on the other side. I always wondered why things always happened to me, why I couldn't have an ounce of normality. It's just a little jarring to hear my own feelings put into words like that.
Mema could have stopped all of this the first time before she let him ruin generations. Meema should be in jail with him. Zero tolerance for women who let their spouse abuse children and do nothing about it
100%! I mean, I could understand how this woman wasn’t quite able to protect her little cousin. But when you’re a parent… You don’t get that pass. Especially if you’re taking preemptive measures like sleeping with your hand on him so you can feel when he leaves so you know you need to go stop the atrocities. That right there tells me that she had a part to play in it, because he was comfortable enough to get up and do it. I’m sure she (memaw) was abused and manipulated as well, but she was doing these little things to keep her self aware of when he was hurting her children. It just blows my mind that she didn’t put a stop to it. I mean, if she couldn’t physically stop him, she could have reported him...or caught him while he was sleeping if you know what I mean. Get it done, call the cops, pack up the kids and run.
You can not understand why someone reacts the way they do to situations like that if you have never been there. It does something to your Soul. You are not in control. You freeze. You can't run, scream, fight, Anything. All that has been locked away from you when you were a child!
@@rockland3593 wow you obviously don't care enough to know anything about psychology, brain damage and other damage caused by systemic abuse. Go somewhere else since you clearly don't want to be here. You uneducated, unempathetic freak.
@@watovit I'm a psychologist now how dumb do you feel? The problem is obvious and people like you think you know everything and obviously love to pass blame like this girl does own your crap
My throats closed I could barely breathe listening to her life story. I hope she comes to realize none of what happened to her is her fault even at 21.
Some things that help "ruin" her life where her fault....like drug use, injuries at work from being careless, having children at a young age without a stable relationship.....shit, the list goes on! Some people just need to get over shit and make better decisions and MAKE a better life for themselves.
So you mean to tell me this man touched EVERY SINGLE ONE of his grandchildren and children .... And the grandmother did absolutely nothing 😳 This is horrifying to say the least and she is the epitome of strong and beautiful.
When I finally told my grandma (who raised me and my sister and brother) that my cousin molested me, who she had watch me and keep me occupied, her exact words were and I’ll never ever forget them “that makes sense... he molested his sister too” I wasn’t sure what I was looking for when I told her but that wasn’t it. This lady being interviewed is as lovely and as pure of heart and soul as the driven snow. I would love to hold her until we both shattered and we could rebuild with out the evil of this world. To know someone is hurting a child and do nothing is the same as hurting the child yourself.
The only thing I can think of as a reason for her behavior (as a domestic abuse survivor myself) is that maybe she was allowing the abuse on the girls every now and then so that she could have a break. As AWFUL as that sounds, the wife usually goes through the same as the kids but it's more violent. I am in NO WAY saying those girls had it easy or deserved anything that happened to them. This whole thing is a long systematic line of abusive incest and it's all horrible. From an empathetic standpoint, as someone who has been through domestic violence myself, she may have been laying there in her bed as her husband did these things, fully knowing he was doing them and hating herself for not stopping him. There were times my husband physically abused the kids and I was outside the room shaking, praying he would stop, because the second I went in there he would beat the shit out of me. He didn't hurt the kids as much as he hurt me. Again, I'M NOT DEFENDING THIS BEHAVIOR. It is an absolute nightmare to live through and I'm so sorry these girls had to live with this asshole pedophile.
Something I should add is that a year ago I removed my kids and I from that situation. It isn't easy AT ALL, and I can understand why this grandmother didn't try to escape. It isn't easy for a woman to just start over, especially with children in tow.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
the way she recognizes what happened to her mother as rape but not what happened to hers, absolutely breaks my heart
I caught that too. I was so so so sad to hear her say that. Oh my goodness. 😔😔😔
A lot of the story is missing here she admits that she was on heroin when she went to her grandfather's house so he was probably giving her money for sex that's why they had an arrangement, people like that leave out little factoids that point towards it being her fault because of the drugs and her willingness to have sex for drugs, yes grandpa is a scumbag but she made it too easy for him
Yeah and why was she with him.. She knew he was a rapist
@@JJ-sv7rh genuinely? please do something about your nasty mind and life
I audibly said, “oh, honey”. Really made my heart hurt.
"I was going to be a nurse and be somebody." You are somebody.
Correct Star I love you
You are an amazing WOMEN! STAY STRONG
If you never felt that way, you don't know what it is like.
Somebody I admire. You're so tough I'm telling you
@@whotelakecity2001 Many people replying are survivors, too.
"Not my kids" She broke it. She broke the cycle.
Jesus. This was intense.
I don't get it please explain
Sadly... underlying I thought she maybe jealous... knowing he would be engaging in sexual activity with her daughters...sick as it seems...she comes across in MORE than 1 way of being in love with her grandfather Smh I don't know who's MORE messed up...Smh
@@groundhog_7977 they are both sick in the mind
@@groundhog_7977 she was manipulated, taken advantage of and groomed by her grandfather. “Not my kids” clearly means she won’t allow them to be hurt by him the way he hurt her. She isn’t “jealous” lol wtf. she’s protecting her kids. You’re just victim blaming… don’t be ignorant
@@groundhog_7977 agree 100%. Sure, this girl has had it rough in some ways but shes not just 100% a victim in this whole situation. Theres def more to it and theres def some blame to be placed on herself as well. Shes literally attracted to and lusts after her grandfather. Thats not some automatic thing that happens when you are abused. Theres much more to this story and many more contributing factors from HER side than we actually know. Without even getting too far into it, its apparent that, simply put, much of her situation(s) is on her.
It makes me fkng sick that her grandmother was so bent on her going to church but was knowingly allowing her husband to abuse every child in that house
Religion is the perfect place to find forgiveness
religion the the perfect place to conceal guilt with forgiveness
”forgiveness”
Folks are in for a sobering reality that think they can hide behind the cloth and/or bible while seeking forgiveness for these disgustingly cruel acts. Common sense, the conscience and the bible states that when you continue doing something knowing that it's wrong, can only be defined at it's roots as blasphemy, and that's why and how the conscience becomes unhealthy, because the Holy Spirit has turned away.
Some of the cruelest people I’ve known were some who thought they were the most godly.
She has the saddest eyes I've ever seen
Yes.
Agreed
Uggh. She really does. You can feel her pain. I just want to give her a big hug 😔
Foreal I just said that what a trip
That’s probably from the betrayal of those who she loved and thought loved her in return but instead they hurt her and betrayed her trust. A broken spirit that’s still fighting 💔💜
"I'm the common denominator...there's gotta be something about me that...brings out the worst in men". That broke my heart. It's not you, Star. It's them.
That was really sad.
You never know.
Tbh she may be self aware that she pushes people beyond their limit, it can be both people and not just one sided
I had a very different reaction to the same part lol
@@hotmegoi504 LOL?? Really?
It killed me halfway thru that her Grandma “FORGAVE HER”. No Sweetheart! Nothing to forgive. She should have apologized to you and your Mom! Jesus.
That grandmother is pure evil.
Right!!
The grandmother should feel RESPONSIBLE for not stopping this abuse and carnage!!
Jesus Christ loves you
That grandma could have saved all these kids and chose not to.
@@JesusLovesYouSoMuch1 LOL
"Not my kids."
I understand this woman doesn't think highly of herself, but that line right there makes her a hero. I hope her children become the adults that finally give her the love she deserves.
❤❤❤❤
❤❤❤…Agreed ❤️🙏🏻’s
no, it doesn't. Don't give me this shit. OK I recognize bullshit in all fucking forms groomers Want you to have a low self-esteem. The reason she doesn't have self-confidence is because of what the groomers brainwashed her with that doesn't make her a hero anymore than a groomers makes them a hero by the shit that they say I am woman hear me roar and fuck everyone who says otherwise fuck everyone who says otherwiseyou want the truth hear it from me. I'm here. I'm a voice crying out in the darkness. I'm important I don't have to be a hero by shutting my mouth and bowing my head down motherfuckers cause I am a woman hear me roar.
EXACTLY …. I was trying so hard to not judge but to empathize somehow someway to broaden my mind when topic of being in 20’s and still carrying on with grandpa. My jaw dropped. ….. when she said “ NOT MY KIDS “ meant that and stayed true to that statement …. “ I was testifying against him because I love my baby cousin and his potential future victims more than him “ another line 🤯. Typically behaviour like this carries on generation to generation SHE BROKE THE CYCLE FOR THE LOVE CARE & PROTECTION OF HER CHILDREN. I’ve heard of many victims that kept a strong bond to their abusers. I don’t understand it , and thats a GOOD THING. She is not as sick as she thinks she is. She is extremely honest , honesty to this level is humility. She seems to have put her feelings n thoughts in perspective & owns her part in the sickness. She’s healing , I know this because she is capable of being honest not coming off as the victim and not laying blame on others. I’d be BLAMING EVERYONE . She’s more courageous and brave than I. This is horrifying , something out of a movie. Her journey has been painful. Hearing of incest within families living in the sticks and back mountains , I praise God everyday I was born to a loving healthy minded family . 🙏🙏🙏
holy shit. yes.
-Her grandfather raped her... the definition of rape is that its non consensual (not saying "no" doesnt mean you wanted to be raped)
-Freezing/not fighting back is an appropriate response to rape/trauma (very, very common)
-Having an orgasim is the body's response to being minupulated sexually. That doesnt mean you liked it. Of course there may have been times when things felt pleasurable, thats the way sexual organs are designed to respond to touch. (Lots of survivors struggle with this, including male survivors)
-You are incredibly brave to share this with as much vulnerability as you did! Im so proud of you. Thank you for sharing
Thank you for explaining this and putting that information out here for people to grasp and try to understand. Its an incredibly hard story and situation to fathom and what you just explained in detail I think would or could bring more survivors peace by just educating people on the bodies responses and how unless its explained and heard it can be torture to process if at all possible to process. I think star is the epitome of strength. I love her heart and fighting spirit.
Dana🤎🤎🤎 Thank you for your words.
this comment says it all. thank you 🙏🏻
Yesssss!!!!
Well said, totally agree! So proud of u for telling ur story, talking about ur trauma is therapy for the soul. Will say a prayer 🙏🏻 for her to stay drug free and live a happy life. 🥰
The grandmother was literally complicit in 3 generations of her families destruction.
kimberly arnold I watched a short film about inbred a week ago. There were 3/4 brothers & 2-3 generations. You can tell one was brought up living in a dog kennel as he only barked. They were all utterly filthy & all lived in absolute squalor. Very sad to see.
@@DMWBN3 woa what was that called
The Whittaker family? I believe
Mr Watto
That’s on this channel dumbass
lamBETTERthanY0U thought it was, thanks though ass wipe
Hearing her say she's the "common denominator of abuse" absolutely breaks my heart.
Agreed.
Yeah, it's not her
💔
It broke my heart too. It made me think of myself, to know I'm not the only one who feels like the common denominator.... Very heart breaking but at least I know I'm not alone in feeling this way.
She is the common denominator. It's not her fault, that's the part that's sad to me. She doesn't seem to understand that predators can spot prey from miles away. She's groomed for abuse.
20 grams of weed would put you in prison longer than this monster got. This is so horrible.
I'm not a conspiracy guy but our government is ran by pedophiles. If they aren't then they are complicit in the actions of these creatures.
well yes bc one is part of the holy bible and the other is the literal devil ('s lettuce)
@@nevermindmeijustinjectedaw9988tf is your point the Bible don’t mean shit this guy is way worse then lettuce my guy
@@nevermindmeijustinjectedaw9988what are u talking about, pig shit
@@nevermindmeijustinjectedaw9988does the bible say "dont smoke weed its the devils lettuce"?
She’s so much more of a survivor - she’s a rape survivor, a child abuse survivor, a molestation survivor; so many failed this woman. She’s so strong.
@Zert Teyyy bro shutup
Natalie, comments like yours, on the right days, give me what I need in order to keep going. Thank you sweet lady!! Love always Star
@@fallenstar7776 - Dear Star, I assume you are the remarkable woman telling your story on this video? If so, for starters please start calling yourself "Rising Star", which is what you are. It is your first family are the Fallen Stars, but you have survived that poisonous pack of disfunctional humans.What you have been through in your life so far would destroy many less strong souls. You are doing the right thing now, talking publicly about it. I hope you are starting to heal just by coming out into the open. Part of my own recovery was to cut off completely every jackass in my first family, none of whom protected me. We have no choice with blood relatives,, but we can leave them (at least as adults) if it's not a good scene.. Friends we can choose, and as adults take on good people as a replacement family. I hope you will stand fast now and allow only people in your life who will protect/encourage support you on your path to healing. Also, a good professional counsellor can help with trauma and self-esteem issues. I feel very positive about your future because I can see that although feeling so broken inside, you are strong in spirit and smart, and you have looked inside yourself to see your situation clearly. I see you also a beautiful woman in your prime (I speak as a Senior) and so please also enjoy your youth and beauty with worthy people, and have some fun doing things you enjoy. Do follow your dream to become a nurse! You'll be great at it, a very compassionate professional caregiver doing important work to help others. Rising Star, you ARE somebody. I send my love. YOU GO, GIRL!
I want my mom to tell her story publicly. It’s so tragic and a huge family secret that no one has believed her on.
@@maiaegerton3371 What a beautiful comment! And I agree Rising Star is way more appropriate! Amen
“I froze like I was 5 again.” That broke my heart.
Exactly :(
She dissociated more times than I could count. You could visibly see her check out. The brain does that to survive trauma. My heart just breaks for her.
Yeah her saying it felt like a dream, it didn't really happen, is classic derealization. It's heartbreaking.
Yes I see it too
Yall, I just seen that. An you can see it too. She disconnecting life.
🥺🙏🏾
I feel that
I do the same thing
I was sexually abused from 9 till 17
I moved out at 17 and don’t want to and the comments didn’t stop till my step dad died .. at 15 my stepdad son rape me.. my mom committed murder my dad went to prison for molesting his niece.. the story goes on and on I do the samething as her
“ if you were older than 20, how could you let this happen? ”
very horrible question to ask a survivor of manipulation, rape, and incest. i’ve enjoyed these interviews so far, but this one really rubbed me the wrong way. you have GOT to learn how to handle these types of situations. you’re very lucky that Star is a strong woman & you didn’t have to deal with a breakdown on camera. This was VERY inconsiderate questions to ask a survivor of trauma like Star. Do better, please. If not for your viewers, then for the interviewee. They deserve a safe space to be heard, not further judged.
Bless you, Star. I wish nothing but the best for you, honey 🩷
Agreed!
You’re right in a way I guess but honestly the dude making these is not a licensed therapist or anything like that, he’s giving them a platform to tell their stories and sometimes his questions are more meant for the guest to have a direction to move their story toward when they stall on a specific moment 👀 The people taking part aren’t expecting him to coddle them and give them a form of therapy, they volunteer to tell their story for people like us to gain perspective when we haven’t lived through these type of situations
@@mhill93278phrasing matters. Simple adjusting it to "what would you say to people who would ask why you didn't fight back, even though you were an adult who could have?" Makes a world of difference. This man is a professional, he should know how to address these topics if he's dedicated to covering them. It is his responsibility as the interviewer, not as a therapist. And he should take this constructive criticism and apply it to future interviews. There's nothing wrong with people giving him feedback.
@@kiracarver988 Yeah also being a trained therapist/psychiatrist would help too, but the point was you’re demanding a level of professionalism that this interviewer has never claimed to possess or promise to his guests 🤷🏽♂️ So it sucks that his gesture to give a platform to these people who want to share their stories is some how “coming up short” for your satisfaction when you’re penalizing him for a promise that he never made 👀 Its like, now if he doesn’t rephrase himself is he an asshole because you said so? Or if he comes across as dry then because you’ve warned him now he’s doing this wrong? He never promised or claim to have a talent for this, you can’t get upset or demand perfection
@@mhill93278 nope, sorry, a professional interviewer absolutely should know how to be sensitive when the time calls for it, and how to construct questions even on the fly. Literally the expected job of a good interviewer. Just like how sometimes, an interviewer should know when to push someone's buttons to get to the truth of a matter, etc. lol what do you even mean. It's his job. He's the one who decided to cover such sensitive topics, but he's not expected to know how to be sensitive?
I wish she could know how HUGE her statement of "not my kids" is. Ended a generational chain of abuse! So strong and beautiful
It gave me chills. She said it with conviction and strength. She meant that.
AMEN!!!
No doubt! That gutted me. I was trying not to cry watching this but when she said that.... fu*k it, I tried. 😭😭
Absolutely, took the words right out of my mouth!
Right? If we are a progressive civilization education, womens choices & exposure #stoptheCycles!l
He got 7 years, only served 2 before he died :(. He basically got away with this for his whole life. May he rot in hell 🙏
The worth and dignity of a soul is measured by what it delights in! And delight/happiness is our highest desire.
Men have killed to have it. Kings have gone mad trying to find it. Wars have served it. Affairs have worshiped it. We all seek it.
Sadly, billions have died without discovering its secret... namely, that joy is not an it, but a He.
The Gospel is the good news that sinners can delight in a Holy God. It's the good news that all of our deepest desires are satisfied in the ONE who sent His Son to bring us to Him. .
God is so valuable and so satisfying that the most loving thing he could do for us is to make Himself gloriously indispensable. He is the only being in the universe for whom self-exaltation is the highest virtue.
Therefore, God's commitment to be glorified and our goal to be satisfied are not at odds but come to simultaneous consumation in the worship of His Son... who took upon Himself the Wrath that God had towards us in our sinful disregard of Him. A wrath that could never be appeased through man-made religion.
Jesus didn't die to turn the world into a paradise, he died so that we could stop seeking paradise in the world...
Temporal things such as beauty, popularity, money, sex, racial identity, gender reassignment... can never truly satisfy. BECAUSE WE WERE MADE FOR SO MUCH MORE!
We were made to gaze intently into the Eternal Beauty of a majestic King, Father, and God... meet Jesus the Christ.
Life is hard, God is good, Glory is coming
😊... Thanks for taking the time to read this comment.
@@janepatton8100 this, amen amen
If he didn’t repent he is in hell
💯
Sadly hell doesn't exist, these kind of people should be made to experience hell when they are alive.
You broke the cycle, Star. You saved your kids, helped your cousin, and helped any future kids your "grandpa" could have hurt.
Wouldn't she have had saved her kids if she hadn't had them? The more I watch these videos the more I feel we are able to solve a lot of the world's problems by bringing fewer humans into it... :-(
Sarah well said.
@@toegh this is the fourth comment I found in the past two days that was trying to push an argument either for or against abortion. Are y'all bots? Three of your other comments on this channel are about that. Change the tune.
@@sallyann985 I am an antinatalist, I don't think I mentioned abortion, I am pro vasectomy.
@@toegh yes, I had a sense that you were antinatalist.
I wish you had a woman asking these questions. You have no idea how jarring it is as a survivor of this kind of abuse to have a man tell you “you were having s*x with your grandfather at the same time as your mother was”, and “you’d think that at 20 you’d be old enough to protect yourself.” Have some fucking compassion.
agreed. that was gross.
Yep, that was shocking.
for real this dude is disgusting
He often says weird shit like this to r*pe victims.
Yeah, this guy's not professional.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was a victim of child hood sexual abuse from my grandfather fro the age of 5 until 8. I turned 9 in October, he died in November and my Dad started sexually abusing me in December and that lasted until I was 12 1/2. I finally told my Mom when I was getting ready to turn 17. The next day she took me and dropped me off at the state mental hospital because she told me I was the one who needed to get out of the house. I had siblings and she wanted to protect them because if anyone knew they would be taken away. After 2 weeks she picked me up after telling detectives that I didn’t want to file charges. My parents made me quit school because they didn’t want to tell them the truth as to where I had been. It was kept quite and never spoken of again. I am 49 now and 2 years ago,I told my husband. I have seen a therapist at least 2 days a week since then. I know what she is going through it’s not easy. My parents are still married and none of my family has any contact with me. I may have lost them all but I have and I am still finding myself. I am on my way to becoming a mental health counselor to help survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Thank you for your courage to speak!
OMG ... you are a survivor... thanks goodness you finally told somebody...live your life with not regrets and thank you for sharing and the work that you do
I pray for everyone who still suffer to this day. ❤
You’re very courageous. And you are, by the sounds of it, the first one to break the chain of hidden family abuse. Thats a tough load to bear. But i can absolutely, 100%, tell you that because of you other victims in your family will follow you. You have quite literally opened the escape door for others. I know this as a professional in the mental health field as well as the same actions of my mum in her family. You have started a process that can now never be locked up in secrets and lies again. That makes you an extremely brave hero. Extremely brave.
Excellent vocation. Your skills are needed in our hypocritical society.
Pamela, your hubby gives u all love u need. I wish u will help more people to get a better life.
When she dissociated and had to ask him “can you please ask me a question”
This is what crippling ptsd looks like after a life time of abuse. I pray she reads these comments so she can see what we see: A VICTIM she did nothing wrong she was conditioned - doesn’t matter if she was 21- she was still victimized and it was always rape. And she sacrificed herself to try to save her baby cousin. Not to mention the strength it took to break that generational curse , by saying “NOT MY BABIES”
Keep protecting those babies star and keep loving yourself.
Don’t tell her she’s a victim ??? She’s a person that things happened to sadly
She’s a SURVIVOR!!!!!
@@childishgambimbo3694 god I hate people who be like “you’re not a victim you’re a survivor” like ik you have good intentions but seriously just stop. Yeah she’s a survivor but she is still a victim because it happened to her. She technically, by definition, and in any interpretation is a victim and you can’t change that by saying she’s not or saying she’s a survivor. They’re two things that don’t have to be exclusive.
I noticed that too, she learned how to shut off parts of herself.
Yes. Horrific to see.
“It was so easy not to hit my son by I don’t understand why it was so easy for them to hit me.”
That hurts so much, people are cruel.
Edit: I know this is late and to some of you who went through this trauma, I’m so sorry you guys had to go through that but just know that you are still here and you are the strongest person no matter what anyone tells you, you never let your abuser win by living your best life and leaving them in the past and I hope you leave them in the past, it’s okay to think about them every once in awhile because we are human after all, if you still struggle please don’t be scared to talk to anyone, not just therapy but a close friend and if you don’t have anyone, hell you can talk to me and I’ll give you my sc. take care of yourself guys :)
This right here is so heartbreaking.. She seems like such a sweetheart.
I know this exact feeling. I have a lot of empathy for this woman.
This woman should get into creative writing or something. She has a beautiful way of presenting an absolutly ugly side of humanity.
@@robertmacnaughton4190 I'm sorry you've suffered so much abuse. I will keep you in my prayers.
@@robertmacnaughton4190 Many of us who have gone through trauma are told to "get over it" by others, who have never been through much of anything horrendous. They're too stupid to care
Incest can become much like Stockholm Syndrome where victims end up feeling protective of the abuser. Its akin to brainwashing. Mark I hope you learned something from this and approach victims with more compassion and sensitivity. Star, you are a brave beautiful lady that deserves the best life. I admire your courage!
Absolutely. I was sexually abused by my father, and I relate to a lot of what Star shared.
She enjoyed her grandpa...she just knows that it's taboo to say it...😊
Yes. It happened to my daughter with her father and it was the most difficult thing to endure and understand. The need to protect them is often very strong and misunderstood. ❤
"Not my kids"
I hope Star realizes how actually strong and important she is. Girl had the strength to break a chain of abuse that spanned generations despite everything she went through
Idk if I’m dumb, but I didn’t understand what she meant by that statement?
@@yourseductions1215 She mentioned her grandfather also abused her mother and aunts, and cousin. Star really helped break the cycle when she refused to let him be a part of her children's lives and to support her cousin in the trial
@@catteo2832 Ooohhh okay. Thanks for the clarification.
Don’t ever call it “sex”... it’s rape. People refuse to say rape because it makes them uncomfortable... and it should... because it’s the worst thing you can do to another human.
I think it's 'one of the worst' things you could do to a human tbh
Not to take away from what it is which is horrific
Who the fuck are you to dictate what other people should or shouldn't say?
Your arrogance is off the charts
@@Buz-Lunch-Punx I never said they couldn't say it nor did I invalidate what they said. I added my take on it. You can say "no one asked you" but it's UA-cam which is much like a public forum so fuck you right in your fucking face. 😁
Actually the worst thing is Hypocrisy.
Norm anybody?
Her grandmother would sleep with one arm on him just to make sure he wasn’t messing with her children...... but wouldn’t leave his ass alone to make sure he wasn’t messing with her children.......
Yeah, not good enough hey
Same thing I was thinking like you had to know something was going on...
You mean Gma wouldn’t leave him? Yeah I know 😭💔
I just remove my wife’s hand slowly, works every time
@@Tommysotomayorsmomma I honestly hope & pray that what you just said you said in a very dark comically twisted way, & if so sure I get the 'joke', however in all honesty what & where in pedophilia/sexual abuse/rape/incest is there any room for making jokes out of something that is so depraved, & where it leaves in its wake victims whose lives are forever changed & destroyed, some of those victims are left with seeing no other option other than suicide form the horrific side-effects that these people eveyone from little children through to adults. Such a skewed fucked-up remark such as yours has no place within such a horrifically heartbreaking topic such as this one. The decent thing would be is to apologize for any offense, because I your comment offended me.
I have watched a good number of the videos on this channel but this was deep: the flat calm tone of her voice, the lack of tears vs the story and the pauses... I pray for good days ahead for her and her family.
Stockholm syndrome is one of the saddest things... the fact that she blames everything on herself and hopes SHE can be forgiven. And the way she loved him to the end. Its heartbreaking.
I literally said the same thing. That sick fucker still had a hold on her and it makes me so sad for her.
I struggle still with Stockholm. It never goes away. I hope with more time that it will fade
@@FailingArtist sorry hope you find what you need to give you the strength to overcome it.
She even says that if she could have a father figure. She just wanted a man to not beat her, to protect her, as sick and sad, love her. He groomed her. She also repeatedly says how he is charismatic and larger than life. Heartbreaking 😥
Thank you for bringing up Stockholm syndrome. You are 100% correct, and somebody needed to say it. On another note, though, I truly believe she could have shot and killed him, whether during the commission of a rape or not, and she would be in the right. I’m afraid, as I’m sure she was, that it’s not a sure thing in front of a jury. I pray, “Oh Mighty God, please bring her peace, in Jesus name I pray. Amen.”
Omfg....she is crying about her grandma forgiving HER!! Honey...you did NOTHING WRONG!!! This breaks my heart. She is so traumatized.
Stars story is truly horrific and I completely agree with you but I can only think that in forgiving her grandmother, she was letting go of any anger she held for her. Yes, the grandmother knew what was going on but we don't know the full back story. None of us were there. Maybe she too had been abused by the grandfather before she was aware of him abusing his grandchildren and lived in silent fear as she didn't have the courage to leave. Star appears to be a very loving and caring woman with such a big heart despite being let down by the people who really should have loved and protected her the most. I admire her strength and honesty and wish her all the best for the future.
@@suz1017 she’s talking about her grandmother forgiving her. She is the victim. The grandmother should be asking for Stars forgiveness, not the other way around.
Yes. I was so stunned by that part. And although I don't want to infer anything, it is very very very very hard to believe that the grandmother did not know anything. Very hard. And I speak as a mother. How do you not see your kids and see that your partner goes away so often and the relationship between the kids and your partner? I don't see how that is possible and I would love to hear about this when it is proved to be true that the mom did absolutely not know (I'm not speaking about avoidance, or traumatic amnesia.)
@susan marshall Yes. Thank you dear. Afterwards I got that. I don't always understand everything that's said on these vids due to the accent. It's still very chocking.
When you are abused you will slowly believe its your fault and stupid family members will let you believe it's your fault
There is a lifetime of sadness behind this woman's eyes. My heart breaks for her.
She was a grown ass woman she knew what she was doing!
@@ivanrussell3083 She was raped repeatedly by someone who knew what they were doing and should have had the human decency not to do such a thing. She is the victim here, not a willing participant in the act.
@@matthewcioffi6385 nah bruh in your 20's she was a "Willing Participant " like she said he didn't physically force her she chose to continually have sex with her Grandfather! He's is a predator yes but she has to take responsibility for her part!
@@ivanrussell3083 wow. Victim blame much? What is wrong with you
@@ivanrussell3083 you can’t control anything as a kid
5.8 million views on this interview. I think it is safe to say that we need an update on Star. Every time I come across one of your uploads, I think of Star. No other interview has touched my heart like this one. I pray she is safe, happy, healthy and living the life she deserves bc damn it, she deserves a happy life. I just want to hug her.❤️
I've falling asleep to this interview over 100 times...... the story is horrible but her voice is calming
first time i saw it today, and i feel captivated. it like she has touched my heart, i felt here pain and wish i could somehow help her feel better. this woman has no idea how charismatic she is. I hope we will have an update soon, and it better be a good one!
i wish i could give Star a hug& take all her pain away. All i can do is pray for her bc she's way stronger than she gives herself credit for💪much love star❤️🕯🙏
When she said"ask me a question"you can tell she was doing her best to get all the thoughts that she had brought back up from all the questions and thinking back on everything, she needed a question just to get that out of her mind.. I feel so much for what she went through and I truly hope she is doing well ❤️🩹
@@lisafrederick8870 I thought I was the only one that falls asleep to her voice. I too will put this interview on just to hear her soothing voice. I do not mean that disrespectful in any way bc the story she tells is just heartbreaking and raw. Everyone should listen to it from beginning to end at least once UNLESS it is triggering to your own trauma. Her voice is just so calm and soft. It’s beautiful. She tells her story with such conviction. I can honestly say I believe that a lot of these people that are interviewed either lie completely, or exaggerate so they can get exposure or “clout” as the younger generation calls it and a little bit of money but I can see and hear her truth pour out of her. This is a cautionary tale. She has made me more skeptical as a mother and grandmother of my own family bc that is where it happens 9 times out of 10. In the home with people you trust the most.
Its sad that at this point she’s blaming herself for the sick bullshit that the men of her life put her through. You can hear the pain in her voice
Yeah she has the empty hollow persona of someone who never or hardly felt love. Certainly not unconditional
@@maibster hey, next time, shut the fuck up lmao
@Joe Dick What is wrong with you? She should blame herself a little bit for her grandfather raping her? She was a CHILD. How do you think that trauma and abuse impacted her as an adult? You are incredibly sick and twisted. NOTHING EVER makes that behavior even a little bit okay. NOTHING.
@@maibster I see Ted Bundy has entered the chat room, smh
@@maibster wow dude. You're literally blaming a child for being raped and abused.
Women that can go through this type of stuff and can still get up, get dressed are the TRUE superwomen.
Absolutely
Well put. This just breaks my heart.
Well most do drugs which is how and why they get up but ok.
Agreed.
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
she’s trying to make it clear then her mom was actually raped but she was raped too and it’s making me sad she doesn’t see the two situations as the same. they were both raped.
So were her aunts... :(
I think she feels its worse because they were most likely raped as children and her mother is probably someone she loves more than herself.. it's so sad..
@@Cherry-nu3uo yea :(
😢
I believe it’s due to the fact that her mom was held down and such. To her that would be more traumatic.. he was going to do it either way, by her going along with it she could have saved herself a hell of a lot more hurt. She was also protecting her grandma and niece.
Thank you so much for talking about the ugly part I’ve never verbally said to anyone. My abuser was my dad and I know I have to address this disgust and shame with myself that I hated it and didn’t want it, but he made sure I enjoyed it…. And that’s the first sexual experience I had. I can tell it was hard for you to get hat out but it felt so liberating hearing someone else say it
Being this vulnerable so publicly is breathtakingly profound and brave. I hope she finds peace
Exactly!! My God...it was captivating and moving. Her description was profound.
Yes, but I guess we should know more about how the interviewees are recruited and how consent for their videos is negotiated. I am a little worried that what we are witnessing is an act of emotional exploitation of people who are already very vulnerable. I very much hope I am wrong...
@@interestingvideos4me I hope so too. I think just from watching some other videos that he is genuine. He allows the person to tell their story in full candor. The way that most of it is uncut I believe shows that. The strength in this women is unbelievable
Next to murder, incest is man's worst crime. But the idea that this monster raped his own daughter and then raped his daughters' daughter - who likely was HIS daughter - is staggering. She never actually says what the 23 test said...and believing that he had a vasectomy because he said he did sounds like more of his bullshit.
Exactly what I was gonna say. I hope she can continue to put one foot in front of the other, and for the sake of her children as well as hers, get the professional help that she needs.
You broke the cycle! You got away, made sure your kids were never exposed to this, and helped put this man away. You are strong and we are celebrating you!!
She is so so strong
I actually didn’t notice it but I believe you
Thank you for your bravery .
It took me 14 yrs. To get my daughter away from her dad and grandmother ,they had been sexually abusing her from the age of newborn to age of 9 which I was unaware of. I thought at the time I was just getting her out of a home that was as fasting with drugs and evil people. I didn't find out that all in this occurred until my daughter was 10 the courts continue to try and make me send her to visitation when I was just requesting an advising the courts that it was a drug house but will only hold. They were sexually abusing her and humiliating her. So on. My is 17 now! I have been taking her to counseling since she was 3 years old. It's so sad because the victim always feels like it's their fault. You must have done something wrong to serve it. That's what these predators do. Like she said in the interview or good at what they do. I had no clue that was going on. They brainwashed her so bad and put fear in her so bad that she didn't tell me anything. Like I said until she was 10 because her little brain put it in the back of her head because she couldn't cope. As soon as I found out I called the DA they did nothing about it. They said we don't have enough evidence. I said you don't have a 13-year-old here. Willing to sit on stand and explain everything that she went through. To just day she's still in counseling she's very traumatized. Continue to try to find ways to help her. I I went through similar situation with my biological dad whom I wasn't raised with. When I reconnected with him when I was 21. She started doing things that were borderline and I was just write it off as I was overreacting. Anyone out there here read this and is going through the same thing don't feel like it's your fault. Say something? Do something. Keep saying something and tell somebody does something to help you .
There are some people that are so evil awful there are so People are still out there and God knows who else their abusing sexually mentally.
Special thanks to the host as well as star for telling her story because it takes people like us to continue to put it out there so people can stick up for themselves. I understand her people hurt people.I was abused by my mom physically and mentally for so many years and I never did the things that my mother did to me to my children.
Us victims of these horrific actions need to stand up and speak up for the little ones and the big ones that don't know or understand. We need to teach our children. Unfortunately that there are several ways that people will try to situate abuse you and make it seem like it's okay ❣️
❤ Be safe star. Continue to tell your story. It will help others.
2 yrs old! 😢
I am an incest survivor.
Thank you so much Star❤️ That is the first time I have ever written that sentence. You inspired me. You made me feel not alone. I am 57. I’m smiling rn bc of how much better you made me feel about myself in the world. Love you!
OMG - I am writing it for the first time ... I am an incest survivor. Can you believe I feel guilty? now that I have written it? I am 61 years old!
Much Love to both of you ❤
I am also an incest survivor! I am 64! It all seems so surreal after all of these years!
@@coryd2668 ❤️🙏 thinking about now I feel so violated and abused. My heart goes out to all that went through this
I am so sorry for all of you I'm a father of two young girls and a young boy and never in my wildest nightmares could I imagined inflicting anything like this on my children I will pray for you all and I hope that you truly find the piece that you deserve God bless
Given the mature themes that Mark has chosen to interact with on a daily basis for this SWU project, you'd think he would ask more mature questions than, "if you're 20 years old, how do you let your grandfather get away with this?"
You can argue all day that he's playing devil's advocate and just trying to challenge the interviewees so he can get the best content possible, but I really don't think the ends justify the means. Star gave Mark so much information and heartbreakingly beautiful reflection in this video; he didn't need to say that to her.
Victims are already made to feel like the abuse is their fault from every angle, so to lull her into a false sense of security by providing a safe space to share her experience and then imply that she could have stopped her abuse any time if she really wanted to--I just think mark can do better and his interviewees deserve better. God knows they've been through enough before he gets there.
so true!
Mark doesn’t respond. Pu$$y he needs to go through to understand it I guess….. pretty sad he wants to hear about it but not appreciate it for the rawness and vulnerability she’s delivering this with and he’s so rude. Sad
I agree. Pretty insensitive question. Especially since she had already explained herself!
Horrible question, I feel for her she insists on separating her mom’s rape from her situation which is ALSO rape, poor star
In these interviews the interviewer always refers to rape as the victim “having sex with...”and it’s so wrong.
THIS 👏🏼
so does society with men being raped.. it's wrong yes.
it could be he doesn’t want to say that word if they don’t use it first
THANK YOU
He was also repeating back to her in her own words so that he matched her emotionally. Remember he is interviewing, not doing therapy. It is not his role to correct her language.
It was all manipulation.
Star's grandfather knew she had low self esteem, that she was abused, that she battled drug addiction, that she had no place to stay, and that she needed to stay clean to see her son. He gave her what she needed, food, clothes, shelter, encouragement, even love. He told her all the things she needed to hear... just so it would be easier to violate her later.
He was a sociopath.
Exactly.. So sad.. Wishing the absolute best for this beautiful young lady.
Yes well said 👏
Sick and disturbing but true
Agree
BINGO
the fact that she got emotional about her grandmother forgiving her… as if it was her fault. my heart breaks for this woman. i hope she heals and finds the clarity to realize that she was only ever the victim. God bless her
You can tell there is confliction within her about if it was her fault or not. She says she could have said no, but that's not the story she told. She wants to blame herself. But, sir is very much a victim of a monster. She should be the one forgiving get grandmother, not asking for it. I know it's an unpopular opinion, but as a Mother of two daughters and a woman who has survived physical, and SA. I couldn't stay with a man or stand by a man who was doing this to my daughters for any reason. I would be homicidal to be perfectly honest.
@@aprilpinkelton4385 same here. If anyone touched my daughter?!? They'd be roasting in a pit of fire after I surgically removed his "wares"!
Guilt is common among the feelings victims go through. It's a long process, it needs to be expressed and respected as such, at least in the beginning, or else the victims will feel furthermore misunderstood and that their feelings are inadequate and not worthy of being shared.
This testimony is really helpful for me as a psychologist in France, I wholeheartedly thank Star for sharing her experience with us, for other victims to dare and speak about incest even as adults, and for mental health professionals.
Bless her
@@violetsvisionscat3399 you type like you make money for amazon
How dare you ask this victim why she didn’t stop her abuse?!? If you’re going to speak to victims, you better treat them with 100% respect and sensitivity.
Shut up loser.
Yeah I felt terrible and uncomfortable to hear her explaining herself again and again. Surely asking once was enough.
It’s an interview on a sensitive topic. He has the right to ask anything he wants this isn’t a counseling session. This is for entertainment. If you are so easily triggered by a question why watch these videos???
You just made my guts turn… entertainment is not the right word to use. This is for visibility. Bringing very grim topics and shedding light on them so that others may feel seen, heard and potentially give other survivors some kind of hope. This is not for entertainment. Excuse me while I go throw up now.
@@Sourninjalo Its obvious that you lack of some good old-fashioned backbone. Not everything is for entertaining purposes, and I wish that somewhere sometime in the future, you will have the capacity to understand that. If you don’t respect yourself, try to show some respect to the people who got hurt because of y’all.
“Not my kids.”
So much strength in that one sentence.
Amen to that
What did she mean by that I can’t lie it lost me....was she saying that she was carrying his child or what ???
@@itzfrosty3784 What she probably meant is that she would never let anything like that happen to her kids. He could take advantage of her but "not her kids".
This!
Amen 🙏
It’s all r*pe. Her mom fought back and it was r*pe. Star may have been complicit - still r*pe. Being complicit is not consent, in fact it’s self protection and freezing is 100% a trauma response. Also to ask “you were 20, weren’t you old enough to stop it?” As if when you turn 18 you magically transform into an empowered advocate for yourself that can stop generational incest. This woman is incredibly strong and I hate that she blames herself whatsoever but I unfortunately understand why.
😭😭😭😭
#FACTS
Thank you for saying this. Victim shaming/blaming is the worst and I cringed when he asked her that question. There are so many layers to the response an individual has to sexual abuse, there should be no judgement.
Thank you! I needed to hear this
Her cousin prosecuted the monster!!
Those eyes have seen a lot of trauma, you can almost feel her fear.
As a victim, I feel like I’ve never seen another adult talk about being abused like this. It hurts and at the same time feels so good to not feel completely alone with this sort of thing
SEVEN YEARS??? This woman has a LIFE SENTENCE! I’m furious.
It happens all the time. Some offenders, even repeat offenders dont even get jail time. 😔
😠😡😤
@@idkkimberlyanne correct. My stepfather raped me from 4-15 years old and got 5 years probation....and therapy where the therapist told the courts after 3 years he was cured. Hes still free and Im not even close to being free.
@@Lolalovesghost I cant remember much of my abuse, I'm sorry you're still dealing with yours :(
@@idkkimberlyanne thank you and I'm sorry too. Its good you don't remember much but im sorry it happened to you at all.
she was groomed . this man made her feel safe , while everyone around her was angry at her . she stayed because she felt like she had no other options i don’t get why it’s hard for people to understand that
Lack of empathy is the only answer I could imagine.
her granddad treated her like a lady like she wanted to be. she felt a sense of....something, But it went away. She felt violated & disgusted--but at the same time, she loved her grandad and don't want to see him in a bad situation--so she kept having sex with him.
@@shineymcshine5026 whoa
@@shineymcshine5026 no , she didn’t have sex with him. He raped her. I agree with what you said but this was rape
@@kadeelacayo4806 if it happend 1 or 2 time we can say that but more than 50/60 i don't know what it is...
The silence in this is heartbreaking. You can see she's going to places when she's silent. Star is such a strong person. Her reflectiveness and honesty is so inspiring. I really wish her the best in life, she truly deserves it.
She’s has the 1000 yard stare of PTSD!
NO ,,,
Is there any update on Star ⭐ ? Its been almost 2 years, she's so strong and full of hope in this video... I pray for her! Love her sooooo much ❤
Currently she is battling a nasty addiction. Her mom is on TikTok and she was sober for a few months and had her own channel but unfortunately relapsed. She is currently living with her sister. Her life has been very traumatic but she is a beautiful soul.
@jayme11475 I’m so sorry to hear that but I think that addiction would be the only way I could survive on this earth after being through all she has suffered. I’d be an addict too. I hope she can find the peace and healing she deserves.
@@jayme11475 What is her TikTok? Thanks in advance.
She didnt "let this happen" it's so insensitive to say, you owe her an apology for that.
I cannot believe he worded it that way, beyond insensitive and after she has just sat there and bared her soul.
I felt SICK...
she did let it happen.
🤦🏽♂️
@Dakota Matos seriously?
I hope someone tells her that a body will respond even when you don’t want it to. What an honest, transparent testimony.
orgasms during rape aren't uncommon people can't control our bodily functions
@@bg5748 no. No no no. Not in this comment section-get out.
@@thomasbeebe-wurzer3061 this girl has been through so much. The fact that she chose a man that favours him-and keep in mind that this fellow _grew to favour him as he aged,_ as his beard grew in and such-maybe a large black overall man would’ve been her preference no matter what even if her grandfather had died before she was born, maybe she just prefers large black men and the overalls are incidental, maybe the attraction is totally influenced by unprocessed trauma, but who the fuck are we to judge after hearing what she’s been through?
Im 45 years old today, I still feel the guilt and shame of being molested by mom for years and its hard to come to terms with the fact that yes it physically felt good but emotionally devasted me for life.
@@joshuaday3980 This is such an important comment. The “guilt and shame” is the killer. As if men being raped by women is somehow not real, because he is stimulated and orgasms. Those are involuntary. What a horrible thing you’ve had to fight against; having your truth invalidated even by your own mind. You cannot control your body with your mind if your mind and heart are being victimized simultaneously. Star’s physical response did not mean she wanted it to happen. And even if eventually her mind played tricks on her to desire it because of how she had to disassociate from her own self, she was victimized and it was still RAPE. Just as it would be for anyone being coaxed into it while being intoxicated.
I cannot imagine the pain you carry, you have my deepest sympathies. But from the bottom of my heart, I hope you let go of this guilt and shame. It is keeping you in a prison. This was not your fault. It could never be your fault, NO MATTER WHAT.
When she said “there has to be something about me that brings out the worst in men” my heart dropped, I used to say that to myself all the time sometimes I still say it, I didn’t think other people would have that same mindset.
I was looking for this comment . when u get repeatedly mistreated by people around u, u start thinking that there must be something about u BC everyone else don't get to see the side they show you at least not to the same severity. Sometimes they mistreat u unprovoked so it's like is it something with the way I look or carry myself. Why do i still attract this. What did i do wrong. it becomes a cycle of thinking that haunts u
don't think of it like that. you don't bring out the worst in men, you are an unwilling participant in someone unleashing hell on earth upon you. just because they've "never hit a woman before" doesn't mean they didn't have it in em. truth be told everyone is capable of horrible things, its just that some people choose to act on that.
i’m 37 & have felt like that. “what am i doing wrong?” girllll absolutely nothing! we are queens with crowns on our heads. all of us woman.... we are the creators of life. these men need to get right or get left!
@Jimmy LaPinga just dont bro.
This whole interview is a lot of self-blame. That ain’t it. If someone is targeting or preying on you, the problem isn’t you. It’s not the rabbit’s fault for looking so damn biteable. It’s the fox’s fault for not keeping their teeth to themselves.
You are such a strong person, Star. You're doing an amazing job, keep going, don't let your trauma stop you from living your life!❤️
Secondly, what a lot of people have already mentioned: The questions were extremely insensitive and poorly worded. Even if she herself calls it "sex", it was definitely rape and as an interviewer you should definitely not call it sex. Also, as already mentioned in other comments, she didn't just let these things happen. Also very poorly worded question. It was a trauma response of her body, she has absolutely NO BLAME for this. Stop calling it that.
"Not my kids", and later the "I'm not his anymore" was so powerful oh my god. This woman deserves the purest love. She has such a powerful ability to love despite all that was done to her. Its not your fault star, i truly hope and pray you find healing and peace
It’s 100% her fault!! What world do you live in? Clown World🤡 apparently
@@QueensNewYorkguyhow was it her fault?
@@backisayback5147 cause she wanted it! And didn’t do a damn thing about it!
@@QueensNewYorkguyyou’re gross
@@QueensNewYorkguyget out of here with this victim blaming bs bro. If u haven’t been through abuse, u don’t have the slightest idea what it’s like. So kindly stfu 😊
Enjoying sexual assault or domestic violence is a coping mechanism to repeated trauma. Physically, your body is responding as bodies do when touched, regardless of if you want it. It's like being tickled, its an uncontrollable response. But mentally, the mind will often try to translate abusive relationships into positives, to cope with the overwhelming reality of the situation. Basically the brain tries to limit the stress response by sending enjoyment responses, but it's simply a harm reduction and survival technique. Similar to Stockholm syndrome. Plus orgasms send dopamine hits to the brain--regardless of if theyre consensual or not--thus the 'enjoyment.'
Basically, it's a disassociation between the prefrontal cortex (conscious self) and the more primordial parts of our brain. Point being, it wasn't your fault and you have nothing to feel ashamed of. It's a common response. I hope Star sees this.
unfortunately the evidence for these subconscious ‘survival mechanism’ theories is scant. they are tolerated in psychiatry because they do help to relieve pain regardless of their scientific veracity. on the flip side, this kind of therapeutic theory immediately presents itself as goofy & casts an undeserved unscientific light on psychology & psychiatry in the minds of skeptics, measurably delaying therapy among victims of this nature. there is nothing about a child victim feeling momentary physical pleasure or even enjoying being violated by a perpetrator in general that either reassigns any blame to the child victim or absolves the adult from responsibility for these capital crimes
@@knuthamsun6106 It sounds like you, specifically, have a problem with the complexity of victims' accounts. No one I know believes that these theories are goofy, and you're projecting your own issues here. And you're right that the research is scant, but as someone with a lot of history with victims of domestic violence, it's most certainly true (even if just in part). Aligning yourself with a predator to prevent further harm being done to you is called the 'fawn' response. If the abuse goes on long enough, this can morph into true feelings of affection despite the abuse. This is, in part, due to the brain's need for social connection, so if you're cut off from everyone but your abuser, then you must put your social needs onto the abuser. It's normal, but nonetheless a trauma response.
@@yogatella I'm not a psychiatrist, though I do plan on going into the field. In the meantime, I've read a lot of books on trauma and neuroscience. I also have many many family members and friends who experienced sexual assault or domestic abuse, so unfortunately I am very familiar with the common trauma responses.
@@yogatella Fyi, forgot to mention this, but I highly highly recommend "The Body Keeps the Score" by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk as a way to understand the complex neurobiological processes that occur during and after trauma. People often focus on the psychological parts of mental illnesses--and with good reason--while forgetting that the the way the brain is physically wired largely affects mental health. For example, after traumatic events, research has shown that the amygdala (the part of the brain that controls fear responses) can get up to 20% larger and significantly increases the number of receptors. All of this contributes to a common PTSD symptom known as hyper vigilance, and sometimes with medication this particular symptom can be alleviated. This is one of the reasons I'm interested in psychiatry, because with the right medicine and therapists, patients can really see their lives changed. I speak that as someone with PTSD, as well as many family members with PTSD as well.
It's a fascinating subject, and I have the deepest sympathies for survivors like Star. And with the right treatment, life can get so much better for people like her.
Same thing I just wrote, its a form of Stockholm.
“Not my kids”. You’re a hero and I hope you believe this about yourself.
She will and must have some type of normal happy life
@@philobetto5106bro wtf
@@SlumpTia she will feel good about herself
@@SlumpTia what did you think meant ? lol
This was the most painful interview I've ever listened to. It is so raw and honest and I'm f****** crying my eyes out. Star, you are a child of God and your soul is clean and pure and you deserve nothing but the absolute best things in the world. You are probably one of the bravest people I've ever heard. I hope you know that what you went through isn't your fault. I'm praying for you
The fact that she puts any blame on herself breaks my heart. You did absolutely nothing wrong and the blame is solely on him
And grandmother is guilty also.
There is blame to be on her , she enjoyed getting f***** by her grandfather.She was a consenting adult that kept it going.That's incest, sick AF. And as for the grandmother, she's the worst for letting generations of girls get molested by that sicko predator.
@@caseycook6558 And herself also.
She was failed by so many people. Her grandma, grandfather, mum, dad. Its so sad
@@intoodeepstl314
Beauty can be used as a weapon as much as a muscle bound man can use his strength.
Mom
@@tacomasfinest5034 what?
Her auntie too 😩😿
The fact that she didn’t shed one tear until talking about her grandmother’s grief speaks so loudly
It speaks of dissociation
@@fauzianezam246 whoa! HTFU!!! That is NOT what is happening.... Obviously you've never had to go through s@xual assault... So shut your mouth about shit you don't even know about!
Her grandmother knew what was happening. She was an enabler.
I don’t believe the stories, where a woman says, that she didn’t know, what was happening with her daughters or grandchildren.
A woman knows. Can feel it in the air.
If you care about your kids, you just know.
Star said her grandmother forgave her as if her granddaughter was intentionally participating in hurting her grandmother for sheer enjoyment. What volumes does it speak that she was moved to tears by her grandmother's grief and not her own when Star is the one that underwent trauma at the hands of her pervert husband? We are talking about people who needed to protect her from a serious behavior and crime, knew the disturbing issues were happening, and did nothing. Does not THAT speak volumes for Star, girly?
It's sick to assume the survivor has to feel sorry for the enabler's inactions and the perpetrators' disgusting actions.
Grief? She should be angry at her grandmother feeling the need she wanted an apology from Star. So many excuses made for enables and perpetrators no wonder this stuff just keeps happening to young girls and boys all over the world. You keep turning a blind eye and/or feeling the need to empathize with the onlookers who did nothing, and yet expect an apology. F_ck that. Stars love and identity was smeared and robbed from her by perverts and the onlookers are just as perverted as the perpetrator. Period.
You're 100% right. Her grandmother had a responsibility to protect the other women/girls and she chose not to confront her POS husband because of her own selfish reasons. @@nildaluzrodriguez
Bring back this kind of interviews! They are helpful for people who are going through the same thing!
Please keep us updated on this LADY. I want to believe in her so badly, it hurts. I can literally hear us all in the balcony of her life cheering her on.
I agree. Irrelevant, perhaps, but she's more articulate than a lot of my professional colleagues. Amazing honesty and candor.
Beautiful thought! Life is so damn PUZZLING!
I love that "in the balcony of life"!
Yes. She is helping others to heal.
i would love an update! i feel like i need one. i want for her to thrive
"Secrets keep us sick" and the truth will set her free. She did it! She let it all go right here, and now she's free. So beautiful and real. Thank you, Mark for giving her the chance to do it. *hugs*
We can hope. I dont think she is ever going to be fully free. Some pain is eternal.
Sry, that's NOT HOW IT WORKS! That comment is so blissfully ignorant I'm almost sorry to tell you otherwise......but it's nowhere near that easy!
@@chanted1558 you would be wrong. Secrets DO keep us sick, speaking, writing and working through them can indeed heal us. It's alchemical. That is why therapy works.
@@chanted1558 “ @ yes Chaunte Williams she needs more then mark platform to speak her truth to Get the professional help she truly NEEDS!! This maybe be a 1st step but if people think oh she can just come on mark ch say her truth and Oh she is healed!! And feels better!! Etc etc they are so wrong !! This lady needs yrs of really help, she has A lot of work ahead of her!! I pray she gets the professional help she needs. She has ALOT OF WORK TO PUT INTO HERSELF IF SHE EVER WANTS TO EVEN GET/feel a little normal. I pray she finds some peace, but u can hear it in her voice SHE IS BROKEN!!! God bless her. I have worked with the homeless since 2004, I’ve seen may of women like her, her story, her life, etc I work with street kids age 16-30 yr old , I’ve seen /heard skit over the yrs. some never get the help they truly need. Sometimes the damage is too much . Etc sending her love& prayers 🙏🏽, Love, Light& Healing 🙏🏽🦋💙🇨🇦
@Deshaun Hairston 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Her pain is profound, palpable. She is so intelligent and well spoken. She was groomed and for her to be so transparent, so honest to help others-- she is nothing but brave. She is full of insight. She saved her children, beautiful soul. Thank you for telling your story.
Intelligent, well spoken, are you a hillbilly or racoon from the mountains..she is intelligent as a door knob, what interview are you watching..
Yes thank you .
Yes! She was totally groomed. I wish she had the courage to say “No” to save herself - way before she found out she had a baby girl in the oven. It just goes to show both the power of grooming and the power of a mother’s love. I hope she finds true peace.
I totally agree with Deanna. I am so impressed with her intelligence, her compassion and ability to verbally articulate her story. It seems she desires an objective picture of her life....that has to be very hard with the emotion and images clouding her mind. God bless her. I hope she finds the One Who can set her free.
Palpable
This is one of the most gripping interviews. Not ashamed to say I’m back here watching AGAIN. Would love to get an update about her. I hope she’s killing it in life! Love and light. 💜💜💜
I’m her daughter and yes she is for sure killing it in
Life
Most molestation takes place in families - rich or poor, white or black, Appalachia or L.A. Like domestic violence, nobody wants to get involved.
True. I still can't believe my entire family knew about some cousins of mine being molested by their father in california (were in Michigan) and never said anything to him or the police. They spoke amongst themselves but never towards the person doing it. He was making his son's blow him and nobody stopped it. 🤬 He's been dead for a decade and I talk with those cousins on Facebook and all I can think about is how scary that must've been for them as child.
@@hellosweetheart3350 Mine killed my mother and shot me after he was told another sister was going to tell. He beat me, my mom and now i am married to a man who tells me its my fault. I was 8 when it began.
You don’t deserve this. You are a good person. Most good people get abused and taken advantage of because of their nature. Leave this man. I’m also working on leaving the abusive family I am from. Have you ever looked at innocent children? Did any of them deserve their mistreatment? No. You didn’t either. Everyday write down what you know is good about yourself.
@@jhadziamfume6802 please leave him
@@jhadziamfume6802 Jhadzia, you are somebody! Your partner can't tell you it's your fault, FFS! I truly hope you have a way to get help! Message me whenever you like on here, and if you need it we can talk!
“He’s gone and I’m still here. And it’s all still here and very real”. A person lives with the trauma of abuse for life, even when the perpetrator live on freely or dies
Exactly. That broke my heart when she said that. Her grandfather is in hell. He has already begun to pay his deserved eternal price.
My prayer is that she finds the truth in all of this so that she can fully heal. She can then put all of the guilt where it belongs and live a life with freedom being the only thing she has setting on her shoulders.
When she said “sorry can you ask me a question” I could feel the anxiety of every horrible experience racing through her body. Mark needed to save her in that moment and it’s just so sad. I hope she finds peace ❤️
The was she got silent and spaced out I could feel the emotions and flash backs she was experiencing made me cry cause I know first hand what she was going through and how she was feeling that very moment trying to get that vision out her head
Same. That was painful to hear and she felt like she was a bad person bc her body reacted to what was happening. Like girl you can't help that. Ugh I hope she gets some professional help
It's dissociation.
Questions and hugs etc keep us in the now. Helps bring us back into the present moment.
That part was the most difficult for me to watch along with her silence at the end. Her silent moments and staring off struck me as disassociation. I'm 50 and have disassociated on a daily basis as long as I can remember. She is a sweet soul who was terribly wronged on so many levels from such a young age. I understand the pain all too well. I wish I could give her a hug. She is a survivor.
@@lesliedelong5330 it's very common. I'm currently in a period of depersonalization. 3 weeks of dissociation.
There are lots of exercises online that can help you to come out of it.
My first interview here. I was hanging on her every word. She just amazes me with the way she is so authentic. I will never forget this one ever. What an amazing Lady.
Star, your body has physiological responses with rape. You can have an orgasm and not be okay with what’s happening. There’s a lot of information out there about this happening and I hope you come across it. You can NOT blame yourself for what that predator did to you. No matter your age. I’m so sorry you went through this.
Very, very true. Thanks for stating it.
I feel so bad for her. God bless her and heal her soul.
Yes, this is exactly right. So many rape survivors feel guilty and ashamed that they had an orgasm, but our bodies were designed to respond to certain stimulus. It's a purely physiological response. It's not the person's fault.
yeah Involuntary orgasms are a common phenomenon in r*pes, especially systemic ones..not to mention the added morbidity of incest.
This was also my immediate thought when she said this.
When she said what happened to her mom was “honest to god rape” broke my heart. It’s as if she doesn’t think what happened to her was “honest to god rape.”
And it truly was rape. Every time.
@@michaeldes1800 Nothing more violent than hurting a child that way...
@@michaeldes1800 rape is rape. Why are you categorizing it like one is more weighted than the other.
@Connie Balmer not "god rape" ... "honest to god rape". basically "real rape".
@@vegangurly trying to understand her perspective, not attempting to force his literary critique onto reality
I’m a 6’3 280 pound man working in a metal fabrication company listening to this woman, I’m holding tears back. I am inspired and truly in awe at the strength this lady has, I’ve never felt so inspired! Thank you so much for your story, I needed to hear this point of view. I’ll never comprehend the pain she suffered but just by her speaking on it, it opens my eyes.
size has nothing to do with emotion. fatties cry too
@@nunyabizwacks6711 🙃😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@nunyabizwacks6711 😅😅😅😅😅🤣🤣
Homeboy really acting like he's too fat to cry lmao
Maybe Josh B means that he didn't realize that his sheer size alone can be intimidating to someone of a smaller stature.
She is so damn intelligent. Articulate. I believe every single word. She is the epitome strength, resilience, and dignity. A true warrior and a true survivor. This episode easily ranks top 3 of the most poignant, compelling, bittersweet stories I've seen on your channel and possibly overall. Such a great job! Well done, sir!
“my son was the same age as I was when I was first hit. he did the exact thing that I did to get hit and it was so very easy not to hit him” this is such such an important moment. where the victim actively makes the choice not to perpetuate the cycle of abuse. i love seeing people break the cycle and choose to love and nurture their kids instead of forcing a bad childhood on them to make up for the one they themselves were given.
My mom and dad both broke their family’s cycles of abuse, loved me more than their own pain, never once hit me or were physically inappropriate with me. My dad was brutally, disgustingly abused but he was the best dad to me EVER. Knowing what they went through and how they did the exact opposite with me is incredible and the older I get the more I admire and thank them. I GOT LUCKY. Few others did and it breaks my heart! Every child deserves the love, kindness, safety, and shelter I was given!! 💔
L
“I wish I was somebody, anybody but my self”…….
"It was easy to not hit him" shows that abused people don't have to become abusers. Victims don't have to become villains.
BREAKING THE CYCLE IS THE ONLY WAY TO STOP THIS TORTURE. She showed real strength and courage.
I can tell she is very practiced at choosing her words and tone so she doesn’t say the wrong thing or come off the wrong way. NOT in a lying way. In a survival way. We can spot our own 😞
Yes, you can also tell in the way she sounds very matter-of-fact about it, with no real emotion most of the time. I always wondered about that about myself in therapy, how I could tell so many horrible, painful things in such a matter-of-fact way, and I think it's in some way a part of the distancing you have to do mentally and emotionally in order to survive.
Amen
❤️
We experience this because we experienced trauma at such a young age. I dissociate easily when I talk about the things I have been through.
It's a coping mechanism that we developed as a child when trauma was occuring.
“We CaN sPoT OuR oWn”
This was one of the most difficult interviews to watch… and it was even more disturbing that he only received 7 years in prison. Even though he did end up dying in there, he deserved multiple life sentences for what he did.
I know, right? Josh Duggar just got 12+ years for watching child porn. How does a rapist pedophile with multiple victims over decades get a measly 7 years?! What a sick system of justice.
dont think it would have mattered anyways…because he was old and everyone probably knew he was gonna die. Im just happy he died alone.
Hope there is special place in hell for him
This almost similar happened to me and my mom knew I told her after it happened the first time and she continued pushing me into his arms the monster for me no matter what . I’m still crying about this and am old now and after many years of therapy . It just does never get away !
@@juttapluhar2819 I send you love and healing prayers for you and anyone who came into pain from your abuser. May you find some peace in your life as well as hope to help others. You’re a WARRIOR 💪🏽 and don’t you ever forget it! Jetta Pluhar, Thank you 🙏🏽 for sharing your story, I pray it will help others. 🙏🏽
I’m so thankful Star is still here, this is one of the strongest women I’ve ever listened to speak. I hope she reads these comments and knows that everyone who’s heard her story loves her immensely and is here for her and the other young women in her family with open arms.
Ps. It makes me so sad to hear she felt she wasn’t beautiful, the entire time I watched her I felt like she just radiated beauty from the inside out, truly a special soul.
The fact that this poor woman repeatedly blames herself throughout this whole interview breaks my heart. I want to hug her and be there for her so much.
This made me so sad. So many children are being broken by the people who should be protecting them.
Yes. Yes. Yes. I’m saddened significantly by this reality. I hope that people start to tell their story and stop this disgrace
It's so selfish.
Steve Thompson, Star didn't enable him, she was a victim. Educate yourself on the dynamics in this type of abuse, then you won't make the mistake on passing judgement on the abused.
She's one of the prettiest, softest-spoken women I've ever seen.
That combination seems to have been a curse on her life.
She’s mesmerizing to me. She is soft and beautiful and eloquent. I can’t NOT watch her speak.
@Farang Explorer ...what the fuck?? anyway
No, the men in her life have been a curse on her and her sister. It's not her fault.
@Farang Explorer felt the need to say this for what tho
her beauty was NOT THE CURSE, the fact that she was surrounded by abusive men was the curse.
The amount of adults that failed this girl just breaks my soul into bits. So many people could have prevented all of this pain for her. I don’t want to blame the mother too much because she is also a victim, but when you have a child of your own, your duty to protect them becomes _the most_ important thing on planet Earth. I know it is scary, but she should have called the damn police.
You are not the common denominator. You are not nobody. You are a kind, loving woman and mother who has been through hell. You are somebody and you are so loved. Thank you for sharing such harrowing experiences with us.
When she talks about being disgusted with herself for enjoying what he did sometimes, it hit deep. A lot of people don't say anything about being abused sexually out of fear of being judged for participating in or liking it. Pleasure is pleasure it's not your fault. You are SO understood and loved!!!!
I suppose that that is the part that is so striking to me. How common I have learned that Molestation is in the world.
Mostly, it is associated with shame and then there are the cases where it is quite open, not I society but in some families and I kept encountering both forms of it, from time to time, when I was dating .
Quite open , meaning what ??
@@me_rio_sola I’m so sorry 😞❤️ I wish you nothing but joy my dear ❤️
Absolutely and even victims of rape struggle with this same issue. Nobody deserves this and it’s nothing to be ashamed about.
@@ghostsamongus3370 it’s Stockholm syndrome. This is a sad part of abuse. You should rethink what you posted
"It was so easy not to hit him" What a beautiful soul she is.
Mark, the space you gave and weight of the silence throughout made this story probably the most touching and impactful one I have watched yet.
Yes. I get it was very difficult for him.😢
I agree. His deafening silence for her to speak her peace made this one of his best interviews. Knowing when not to say something is an art in itself. Prayers in Jesus name for her and thank you Mark for allowing her the time she needed to speak.
I feel the same
Indeed! As she said, "we need to have more conversations about this subject"...but we need a stronger Vocabulary to communicate rape and self deprecation, that would damn the 'taboo'.
yes thank you for not adding unnecessary or insensitive comments...sometimes you ruin the flow and mood
When she said “I don’t think I could still love me” my heart absolutely shattered. You sweet sweet tortured soul you deserve all the love this world has to offer.
Breaks my heart to know she feels like she’s the “common denominator” for all of the physical abuse she’s suffered through her life.
Especially when it's incest, like I know i feel had I never existed this would have never been an issue in my family therefore even if I don't blame myself, I still recognize it wouldn't be an issue without me. 🤷♀️
So many people feel this way. I grew up like that. Shoot sometimes I still feel like it’s me.
Yes, I blamed myself for pretty much everything. Trying not to do that and place the blame where it belongs. So hard when raised in severe abuse. Have to retrain your brain not to do that
@Deshaun Hairston please keep seeking your true worth and more love in counseling
@@gladtobeattheexit7385 please keep seeking your own worth And more love. In counseling
This woman is an absolutely beautiful soul. The degree of honesty that she has is so brave. She had no one looking out for her, and yet she is still an ethically sound person.
Connie, I'm not, though. I'm not ethically sound. I promise. I have sooo many vices. I've just gotten real good at being honest. Lies are revolting to me. And secrets that scare me...make me feel like a coward to keep inside. But. I THANK you for your kind words. So much love to you. 🤎 Star
"I'm the common denominator" made me pause the video because that hit so hard.
That's literally what I sound like. And I'm finally on the other side. I always wondered why things always happened to me, why I couldn't have an ounce of normality.
It's just a little jarring to hear my own feelings put into words like that.
Mema could have stopped all of this the first time before she let him ruin generations. Meema should be in jail with him. Zero tolerance for women who let their spouse abuse children and do nothing about it
Period
100%! I mean, I could understand how this woman wasn’t quite able to protect her little cousin. But when you’re a parent… You don’t get that pass.
Especially if you’re taking preemptive measures like sleeping with your hand on him so you can feel when he leaves so you know you need to go stop the atrocities. That right there tells me that she had a part to play in it, because he was comfortable enough to get up and do it. I’m sure she (memaw) was abused and manipulated as well, but she was doing these little things to keep her self aware of when he was hurting her children. It just blows my mind that she didn’t put a stop to it. I mean, if she couldn’t physically stop him, she could have reported him...or caught him while he was sleeping if you know what I mean.
Get it done, call the cops, pack up the kids and run.
@Katie Saarikko absolutely not she let her daughters AND they daughters be abused in her house! that’s 30+ years of playing sleep
I agree 💯💯💯
@Katie Saarikko no one is blaming her for his behavior. We are blaming her FOR NOT DOING ANYTHING TO HELP HER BABIES!!!
Please do a follow up on her.
Let her know how much love and compassion her story generated.
she's the victim of a generational curse that she is meant to break
I agree. I know because I fight the same battle. It's taken my whole life to understand that and I am a senior citizen!
She is breaking it...
You can not understand why someone reacts the way they do to situations like that if you have never been there. It does something to your Soul. You are not in control. You freeze. You can't run, scream, fight, Anything. All that has been locked away from you when you were a child!
@@rockland3593 wow you obviously don't care enough to know anything about psychology, brain damage and other damage caused by systemic abuse. Go somewhere else since you clearly don't want to be here. You uneducated, unempathetic freak.
@@watovit I'm a psychologist now how dumb do you feel? The problem is obvious and people like you think you know everything and obviously love to pass blame like this girl does own your crap
This was so incredibly powerful. What a gentle, loving, STRONG woman she is!
It ended and I'm just sitting here in silence. Her story is horrific, yet she's so captivating. I just want to hug her!
Me too.
Same.
Me too
Me too.... I’m speechless but all I want to do is hug her.
Maybe getting a hug is the last thing on her mind..
My throats closed I could barely breathe listening to her life story. I hope she comes to realize none of what happened to her is her fault even at 21.
Kountess, thank you, beautiful soul.🙏🏼🤎
Amen, Sista, Amen! This broke my heart.
Some things that help "ruin" her life where her fault....like drug use, injuries at work from being careless, having children at a young age without a stable relationship.....shit, the list goes on! Some people just need to get over shit and make better decisions and MAKE a better life for themselves.
I didn’t read the “ none “ part at first and I was about to GO OFF 😭😭😭
Shes 21??? I thought she was 40+ holy f***
So you mean to tell me this man touched EVERY SINGLE ONE of his grandchildren and children .... And the grandmother did absolutely nothing 😳 This is horrifying to say the least and she is the epitome of strong and beautiful.
Yeah he would've been dead the 1st time he tried something with my child. DEAD.
When I finally told my grandma (who raised me and my sister and brother) that my cousin molested me, who she had watch me and keep me occupied, her exact words were and I’ll never ever forget them “that makes sense... he molested his sister too” I wasn’t sure what I was looking for when I told her but that wasn’t it. This lady being interviewed is as lovely and as pure of heart and soul as the driven snow. I would love to hold her until we both shattered and we could rebuild with out the evil of this world. To know someone is hurting a child and do nothing is the same as hurting the child yourself.
The only thing I can think of as a reason for her behavior (as a domestic abuse survivor myself) is that maybe she was allowing the abuse on the girls every now and then so that she could have a break. As AWFUL as that sounds, the wife usually goes through the same as the kids but it's more violent. I am in NO WAY saying those girls had it easy or deserved anything that happened to them. This whole thing is a long systematic line of abusive incest and it's all horrible. From an empathetic standpoint, as someone who has been through domestic violence myself, she may have been laying there in her bed as her husband did these things, fully knowing he was doing them and hating herself for not stopping him. There were times my husband physically abused the kids and I was outside the room shaking, praying he would stop, because the second I went in there he would beat the shit out of me. He didn't hurt the kids as much as he hurt me. Again, I'M NOT DEFENDING THIS BEHAVIOR. It is an absolute nightmare to live through and I'm so sorry these girls had to live with this asshole pedophile.
Something I should add is that a year ago I removed my kids and I from that situation. It isn't easy AT ALL, and I can understand why this grandmother didn't try to escape. It isn't easy for a woman to just start over, especially with children in tow.
@NiggaUBlack It could simply come down to lack of education and resources.
This girl broke my heart, the emptiness in her eyes 😞. Shes so beautiful, I hope one day she can forgive herself and start truly healing❤