"Finally, the evidence that will clear my name! Time to go to the docks to rub it in the mob boss' face that I have it *rather than go right to the police and clear my name!*" What the hell, Jack.
Wait, we went through all that effort to booby trap some boxing gloves and beat up an innocent guy for his car crank, and there's a crank just sitting out here in the open?
9:59 I like how the fire hydrant is just painted onto the surface of the fucking sidewalk. It's the little things that really sell a quality experience.
Well, this generic mob boss keeps close company with a woman who has chronic delayed-reaction-syndrome, and a doorman who not only lets in suspicious people with no credentials, but also forgets that the man he's holding at gunpoint is in the room when he mentions appointments for mob stuff. And the boss himself locks up his prisoners behind wooden doors and leaves their guns out in the open next to incriminating evidence arranged in a neat pile. Perhaps the boss' standards for 'knowing too much' aren't very high.
I think this is the first time we've had an entire video where Jack is not horrible to everyone he me- oh wait I just got to the bit with the homeless guy
fun fact: this game is actually a prequel - the casino boss is a young dr. claw, while jack orlando is literally the worst incarnation of inspector gadget
12:26 i think its supposed to be right after the end of prohibition and orlando is a guy who arrested a bunch of people for drinking and now hes a drunk and washed up. supposed to be ironic or something i dunno.
Back in the day, it was supposed to prevent Sierra mash-inventory-items-together-until-something-happens. The problem here is that there's barely anything that resembles an inventory puzzle... actually, when was the last time we saw _ANY_ puzzles?
I'm certain now. The voice actors - for the English localisation at least - were just given a list of the lines they needed to recite. With absolutely no context given so they had no idea of what was being said around them. That's why half of them sound robotically flat and the other half sound disjointed. _You_ don't know which words to emphasise. You _don't_ know which words to emphasise. You don't _know_ which words to emphasise. You don't know _which_ words to emphasise. ...
Nick Farmer heck I bet some of the devs did the VO, alot of voices back then we're stale, because it was common practice to save money and voice your characters , heck Bethesda did this alot in Oblivion But still doesn't answer why the VO didn't even get half of their lines right, like English was a sec. Launguage and they didn't actually know what the lines meant
That was clear for Jack at least. The VO clearly didn't know the context for the "kick from a horse" line and said it in a positive connotation instead of negative.
I've come to the conclusion this game takes place in a similar universe to Shadowrun. It's the only explanation for why nobody acts like a normal human being and Jack apparently having a Coat of Holding.
...did they write the script, threw it out of a window during a hurricane and put it into the game in whatever order they found it again? That's the only way i can explain this utter insanity
Schattenmensch it's like they were making it up as they were going along, like "ok guys just draw the scenes and we will make up shit we saw on TV yesterday"
I can’t tell if the long player is intentionally going through tons of extra game dialogue to show it off or if the game’s makers were so impressed with their writing that they made all that dialogue required to advance (even though logically it shouldn’t).
I don't think you actually need to say anything to anyone. It looks like there's just a bunch of arbitrary triggers that you could pass if you knew how.
I know Jack actually murdered someone this time around, but here it was justified. What we should be talking about was when he murdered that random homeless man! Even Halligan only drugged a homeless guy to rob him. But Jack? There was no indication his victim wasn't dead!
Additionally, shooting locks doesn't actually work in real life. Either you miss and the ricochet might cause you to shoot yourself, or the bullet can get stuck in the lock making it even harder to remove.
Jack didn't really achieve anything this session. All he did was talk to a man for a bit, get captured, get freed, talk to another man for a bit, drive around town, ponder what the fuck a door is, then talk to another man for a bit. Not even King's Quest 5 grinded to this much of a halt in its moments
Figures Beef would compare Cooper to Inspector Gadget, only to have the villain petting an evil cat. Course, I'm surprised they didn't point out the reason Bottle Cooper's fallen on such hard times: Jack's the REAL Inspector Gadget.
This has been great. On the level of the Darkseed even. Oh, I agree slobeef, "Our Protagonist" is a dropkick, but that jacket is fucken BOSS! Oh, even if it is full of every little piece of shit Jack's come across.
So I gave up and had to look up how much of this stupid game was left. Turns out it's a lot, but the game hasn't even begun to get stupid when you compare it to what Jack's going to do near the climax of the game.
I feel like the writers saw that scene in The French Connection where Doyle shouts "Did you ever pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?" at the drug dealer and they just thought "That's hilarious! We should make our detective say nonsensical things!" not realizing its practical use as an interrogation tactic. Like, he should probably have a partner asking normal things. Also, the homeless guy never incriminated himself in any way. Ugh, this game is cancer.
I'd just crank up the jazz volume until they all drown. (That's written almost as awkwardly, as my unfortunately worded "drowning in jazz" first attempt.)
We're going to the docks, so my money's on the crabs. Or possibly the gays again. I'm kinda surprised he missed the opportunity to say something shitty about the Italians considering how the video opened.
Holy crap, Slowbeef. When were you going to tell us you did the voice of Elizabeth? No? Am I the only one who hears it? Maybe Jack should ask her whether there is any party like a Mario Party?
This dogshit game got positive reviews on Steam. Can you believe that? Then again, some people even recommend the fuckin Prisoner of Ice, so I shouldn't be surprised by that. At least this dumpster fire of a game got some great soundtrack (sold separately).
Out of all the apathetic "they just. didn't. care" games we've seen here, why hate Prisoner of Ice? It might be garbage, but it's got heart and an ass that won't quit.
*What heart?* Shadow of the Comet got heart. Prisoner of Ice got no heart, no brain, she's like a claymation butterface; with a great ass, but so spastic, so random and completely out of touch with reality, I'd rather stick with nerdy Comet-chan than this batshit, dumb bimbo.
I hate dating claymation girls. She may seem like putty in your hands, at first, but is full of sharp points and needs constant adjusting for the relationship to go anywhere. It's more work than it's worth, would have been more successful having a cheesy life with a dog, and you end up wanting to just wash your hands of the whole thing. I'm more disgusted with design choices that don't respect our money & time, like an edgelord Harvester, sheer laziness of an Afterfall, unadulterated boredom of a Clock Tower, and bitter regrets of my childhood like Rise of the Dragon. For me, Clock Tower was the worst of the worst. I know that many people would start throwing punches at me for this, but Dark Corners of the Earth was the CoC game with no heart: basically a 2000s word-for-word Unity asset flip of a Chaosium adventure. The only positive is that - on paper - that Chaosium campaign is one of their best for large groups that need a change of pace and going down in a blaze of glory for players that are moving out-of-state or getting a new work schedule.
6:59, what is this goddamn game?! i feel like it just spit in my face. ...so all that other shit we did, including hitting dude with a horseshoe in a boxing glove was for no reason. it's like the people who made this game had no idea how to make a detective game and did it anyway. all that fine racism for nothing...
![Orlando Five-O [Part 8]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ceVJuw3IH2o/mqdefault.jpg)
![Orlando Five-O [Part 8]](/img/tr.png)
![Orlando Five-O [Part 9]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/qsEyBctP5q4/mqdefault.jpg)
![Orlando Five-O [Part 10]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NqBICcR5zsk/mqdefault.jpg)
![Orlando Five-O [Part 11] Finale](/img/n.gif)
Woman walks in, the saxophone plays ONE NOTE, then silence.
Beautiful.
"Finally, the evidence that will clear my name! Time to go to the docks to rub it in the mob boss' face that I have it *rather than go right to the police and clear my name!*" What the hell, Jack.
Wait, we went through all that effort to booby trap some boxing gloves and beat up an innocent guy for his car crank, and there's a crank just sitting out here in the open?
It's not the destination; it's the journey.
At the end of it we find out that the cranking handle was inside us all along.
I think Jack is just a horrible racist
9:59
I like how the fire hydrant is just painted onto the surface of the fucking sidewalk.
It's the little things that really sell a quality experience.
Camkitsune That's why Jack phases through it. It wasn't really there. Just another game mechanic.
I love Beef's world famous "mobster guy" impression.
We "returned Leo to Amazon" if ya know wad I mean
“Personally, I think it’s a load of crap.” -Jack Orlando reviews his own game
Generic Mob Boss: "You know too much"
We do? Honestly I have no idea what's going on anymore since we took the brief trip to Dark Souls.
Well, this generic mob boss keeps close company with a woman who has chronic delayed-reaction-syndrome, and a doorman who not only lets in suspicious people with no credentials, but also forgets that the man he's holding at gunpoint is in the room when he mentions appointments for mob stuff. And the boss himself locks up his prisoners behind wooden doors and leaves their guns out in the open next to incriminating evidence arranged in a neat pile.
Perhaps the boss' standards for 'knowing too much' aren't very high.
this is the dark souls of detective games. not because of game mechanics but because of how fucking difficult it is to know what's going on.
...and the furtive Jack Orlando, so easily accused and forgotten.
Jack Orlando and the Amazing 300-Pocket Trenchcoat
I think this is the first time we've had an entire video where Jack is not horrible to everyone he me- oh wait I just got to the bit with the homeless guy
Classic jack
Jack over here HAS money, yet decided to take liquor from a homeless dude just trying to stay warm
fun fact: this game is actually a prequel - the casino boss is a young dr. claw, while jack orlando is literally the worst incarnation of inspector gadget
aimeenoodle So Inspector Gadget is like an Assassin's Creed thing?
It was a wise choice to change the lore so that the Go-Go-Gadget Boxing Glove worked on more than just minorities and homeless people.
Constable Kipple
He falls onto his trench coat full of cranks and shit and that's how he becomes Inspector Gadget.
Maybe every ethnic minority takes their revenge on him and that's how he gets his robot surgery done
12:26 i think its supposed to be right after the end of prohibition and orlando is a guy who arrested a bunch of people for drinking and now hes a drunk and washed up. supposed to be ironic or something i dunno.
When is Jack going to start burning through those 300 inventory items? It seems that for every one he uses, he gains 3 more. 0.o
John Gleeman A lot of these collectathon point-n-click games had Red Herring items that had no real purpose
Back in the day, it was supposed to prevent Sierra mash-inventory-items-together-until-something-happens. The problem here is that there's barely anything that resembles an inventory puzzle... actually, when was the last time we saw _ANY_ puzzles?
I'm certain now. The voice actors - for the English localisation at least - were just given a list of the lines they needed to recite. With absolutely no context given so they had no idea of what was being said around them. That's why half of them sound robotically flat and the other half sound disjointed.
_You_ don't know which words to emphasise.
You _don't_ know which words to emphasise.
You don't _know_ which words to emphasise.
You don't know _which_ words to emphasise.
...
Nick Farmer heck I bet some of the devs did the VO, alot of voices back then we're stale, because it was common practice to save money and voice your characters , heck Bethesda did this alot in Oblivion
But still doesn't answer why the VO didn't even get half of their lines right, like English was a sec. Launguage and they didn't actually know what the lines meant
That was clear for Jack at least. The VO clearly didn't know the context for the "kick from a horse" line and said it in a positive connotation instead of negative.
18:40 "Coming up, a look at a Jack Orlando's investigation; but first, your local conditions."
I've come to the conclusion this game takes place in a similar universe to Shadowrun. It's the only explanation for why nobody acts like a normal human being and Jack apparently having a Coat of Holding.
...did they write the script, threw it out of a window during a hurricane and put it into the game in whatever order they found it again? That's the only way i can explain this utter insanity
Schattenmensch it's like they were making it up as they were going along, like "ok guys just draw the scenes and we will make up shit we saw on TV yesterday"
I can’t tell if the long player is intentionally going through tons of extra game dialogue to show it off or if the game’s makers were so impressed with their writing that they made all that dialogue required to advance (even though logically it shouldn’t).
I don't know. Either sound plausible.
I don't think you actually need to say anything to anyone. It looks like there's just a bunch of arbitrary triggers that you could pass if you knew how.
5:06 According to the box-art, she was an important plot point.
I know Jack actually murdered someone this time around, but here it was justified. What we should be talking about was when he murdered that random homeless man! Even Halligan only drugged a homeless guy to rob him. But Jack? There was no indication his victim wasn't dead!
Slowbeef the game takes place after the end of prohibition, and also 100 yen is not a lot of money.
Additionally, shooting locks doesn't actually work in real life. Either you miss and the ricochet might cause you to shoot yourself, or the bullet can get stuck in the lock making it even harder to remove.
Made-for-TV bullets: once they've either hit or missed, they always immediately vanish.
Alone in the Dark taught me to stick a bullet in the lock and karate chop it. Works like a charm.
Also, incidentally, it's extremely hard to break through a door with sheer physical force or break through a window.
That looks like a door to me! Me: Thanks game
A nickel? Time to grease some palms at the police station.
"Here bum, now I understand everything!" *QUACK!* *Jack's head explodes*
"If I escape, they'll suspect you. So go hide at my apartment, the first place they'll look for me."
I'm not the only one who glanced at the thumbnail and saw a hotdog, right?
_Now_ I understand why people were so nostalgic for adventure games in 2012.
The music is... _not_ crazy smooth jazz?!
I'm glad the new music is trying to drown out the terrible dialog, at least for a bit.
"Oh hey, I guess the truck just started on its own"
"Sounds good, let's disappear from the story now"
Jack! You don't have time for this! Leave the homeless dude alone!
monday wednesday friday uploads... pinch me i'm dreaming
So does Jacks car control the audio of this game?
Every step Jack takes should make insane amounts of noise. There's a whole fucking antique shop crammed into his coat.
Jack didn't really achieve anything this session. All he did was talk to a man for a bit, get captured, get freed, talk to another man for a bit, drive around town, ponder what the fuck a door is, then talk to another man for a bit. Not even King's Quest 5 grinded to this much of a halt in its moments
Lemon Melon Aaaaaaaahhhhh!
Well, he is a detective, to be fair.
Figures Beef would compare Cooper to Inspector Gadget, only to have the villain petting an evil cat. Course, I'm surprised they didn't point out the reason Bottle Cooper's fallen on such hard times: Jack's the REAL Inspector Gadget.
I like to think that all the items he's picking up are going to be used for one mega puzzle later on as the final boss.
I'm starting to think Jack is looking for ZapDramatic's Ted the Vagabond, who might actually have good reason to smack Jack with that bottle.
This has been great. On the level of the Darkseed even.
Oh, I agree slobeef, "Our Protagonist" is a dropkick, but that jacket is fucken BOSS!
Oh, even if it is full of every little piece of shit Jack's come across.
Wooden crates! A wheelbarrow! A ski! A bum! Old books!
UK, boss.
Um, what was with that woman
Never mind I know now!
1:28 delayed reaction
7:44 "What? WHAT?!"
So I gave up and had to look up how much of this stupid game was left. Turns out it's a lot, but the game hasn't even begun to get stupid when you compare it to what Jack's going to do near the climax of the game.
Sounds great, gives us even more to look forward to.
16:24 Hums the Hopkins FBI theme.
I feel like the writers saw that scene in The French Connection where Doyle shouts "Did you ever pick your feet in Poughkeepsie?" at the drug dealer and they just thought "That's hilarious! We should make our detective say nonsensical things!" not realizing its practical use as an interrogation tactic. Like, he should probably have a partner asking normal things. Also, the homeless guy never incriminated himself in any way. Ugh, this game is cancer.
I was kinda hoping the Mob boss is going to have Jack sleep with the fishes wearing concrete boots.
One concrete boot. In a cardboard box.
I'd just crank up the jazz volume until they all drown. (That's written almost as awkwardly, as my unfortunately worded "drowning in jazz" first attempt.)
My game is full of jazz.
It's how all of those inventory items stick to the inside of his coat.
I just keep wondering how much of the garbage in Jack's coat is actually important or if Jack is an actual kleptomaniac/hoarder.
I really, really love this game.
At least he didn't poison that hobo for the rum
SupaPhly Yeah, Jack would usually just beat up the Hobo and steal his stuff instead.....
If nothing else Orlando is at least straightforward so far.
How are we doing on the murder count? Are false accusations still ahead, or have real murders caught up?
What are we going to be racist towards today?
We're going to the docks, so my money's on the crabs.
Or possibly the gays again.
I'm kinda surprised he missed the opportunity to say something shitty about the Italians considering how the video opened.
Everybody and everything
somehow, the english language itself
a fish!
*THE WORLD!!!*
The statues here are the same as the lamp in the hotel reception; a woman holding one arm up, and the other in between her legs. What does it mean?
ORRRRRRRRLANDO.
Holy crap, Slowbeef. When were you going to tell us you did the voice of Elizabeth?
No?
Am I the only one who hears it?
Maybe Jack should ask her whether there is any party like a Mario Party?
WHAT'S IN THE BOX??!
"Pain."
Sonic 06
This dogshit game got positive reviews on Steam. Can you believe that?
Then again, some people even recommend the fuckin Prisoner of Ice, so I shouldn't be surprised by that. At least this dumpster fire of a game got some great soundtrack (sold separately).
Out of all the apathetic "they just. didn't. care" games we've seen here, why hate Prisoner of Ice? It might be garbage, but it's got heart and an ass that won't quit.
*What heart?*
Shadow of the Comet got heart. Prisoner of Ice got no heart, no brain, she's like a claymation butterface; with a great ass, but so spastic, so random and completely out of touch with reality, I'd rather stick with nerdy Comet-chan than this batshit, dumb bimbo.
I hate dating claymation girls. She may seem like putty in your hands, at first, but is full of sharp points and needs constant adjusting for the relationship to go anywhere. It's more work than it's worth, would have been more successful having a cheesy life with a dog, and you end up wanting to just wash your hands of the whole thing.
I'm more disgusted with design choices that don't respect our money & time, like an edgelord Harvester, sheer laziness of an Afterfall, unadulterated boredom of a Clock Tower, and bitter regrets of my childhood like Rise of the Dragon. For me, Clock Tower was the worst of the worst. I know that many people would start throwing punches at me for this, but Dark Corners of the Earth was the CoC game with no heart: basically a 2000s word-for-word Unity asset flip of a Chaosium adventure. The only positive is that - on paper - that Chaosium campaign is one of their best for large groups that need a change of pace and going down in a blaze of glory for players that are moving out-of-state or getting a new work schedule.
"why are you half pig?" the real question
6:59, what is this goddamn game?! i feel like it just spit in my face. ...so all that other shit we did, including hitting dude with a horseshoe in a boxing glove was for no reason. it's like the people who made this game had no idea how to make a detective game and did it anyway. all that fine racism for nothing...
also i liked when Diabeetus said "the ski was supposed to be watching him". and "i'm not a dog, I don't think"