“I’m breaking up with you.” “Why?” “‘Cause I’m... dead inside... I don’t kn-(Sigh)... You used to make me happy, but now your smile makes me sad.” Story of my life.
In my 32 years of living, I can honestly say I've never put myself in a position where I grew to hate someone so much that I wished they would die just so that I could avoid the awkward situation of breaking up with them....as funny as it is 😂😂
The people who don't have these are either the ones who made a lotta good choices in life, or delusional people. The more "unscientific" side of psychology (particularly Jung) talks about acknowledging your evil nature. That is healthy thinking that you are actually capable of horrible things, something I regretted so much when I found out I was capable of cheating.
What I don't get is how he doesn't have a stand-up special on Netflix (or something) yet. He has 40-50 minutes worth of stand-up material from Conan alone.
This video is way too relatable. I know he sounds a bit crazy when he’s talking about these things but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have that voice in the front of my head.
Saw him in Brighton (and hugged him) in November! He's absolutely brilliant but man, Americans weren't laughing half as hard as we were :D Such a sensitive crowd lol
Jane Begger its more like older audiences won’t laugh as much. They make up the bulk of late night shows. I’m mean it’s not as if we don’t have comedians who say crazy things.
They’re not really sensitive it’s just that it’s harder to make Americans laugh because we have laughed at ourselves and some of the worst things out there lol. He is really funny and as an American I laughed hard because I’m not so ‘sensitive’ as you said. Lol.
“ have you ever bin in one of those relationships where you just fall out of love?" No but " falling out of love" was the reason my parents got devoiced . So kinda relate
Churches in the United States are all tax exempt. We ALL pay more taxes than all the churches in this country combined. Someone missed that day in US Gov class! ;-)
I don't understand the hype for "Resident Evil 7". You can't even call it a Resident Evil game because there are no zombies or parasite-infected people in this game, just one crazy family. It also doesn't have anything to do with the previous Resident Evil story afaik. They probably just called it "Resident Evil 7" because of the series' fame.
Conan! You need to have this guy establish residency for stand up here in Vegas if that’s even possible. He’s brilliant and would sell out every show! 👌🏼
Having bad thoughts is just part of considering your options before you act. If you didn't have bad thoughts, you wouldn't know which the good ones were. It's all relative.
Once he started talking about falling out of love I took three sips of water back to back and spit all them out. Daniel’s a genius with his punchlines and delivery
Problem with the english language is that its too few word to explain the strongest feelings. I see/hear people everyday that say I love you to people they dont even know personally. We can all agree that love and hate are the strongest words we can use the explain what we feel. So do we truly love ice-cream and your loved ones? Do we truly hate genocide and getting stuck in traffic? English is my second language so please correct me or hate me, cause thats what youtube is all about ;)
Sorry I'm late but I think you aren't wrong 😊 It's ok to love ice-cream and to love your friends. I think it depens on the situation ( another proof that things must be heard / seen in their context) But I agree that people now tend to use love or hate too easly😂 You said that english wasn't your first language which is also my case so maybe we missed something or don't understand something 😂😂😂
Daniel Sloss basically is admitting to having anxiety disorder btw. The dark thoughts is a way of avoiding panic attacks so your brain is like has deep dark evil thoughts
I know exactly what you're talking about.... my voice tells me to chuck things as hard as i can at them (mainly at their head) just to see what would happen. And it'll go for pretty much anything..... Frozen water bottles seem to be a favorite for this train of thought. 😇😇
I love how his material has gotten darker as he ages lmao
The entire "falling out of love" bit and thinking it'd be easier if their partner just died.
Maybe it’s because he was in an abusive relationship
And he is just 26
All he’s doing is telling the truth
@@SAMovieGeeks 5555557
“I’m breaking up with you.”
“Why?”
“‘Cause I’m... dead inside... I don’t kn-(Sigh)... You used to make me happy, but now your smile makes me sad.”
Story of my life.
This guy needs a netflix special
Good try idiot Seinfeld is on Hulu
lol XD
And he got it 😁😁😁😁
Just watched Netflix special last night. And I really enjoyed it love this guys dark humour
He's got 2
He‘s deliciously honest. We all have thoughts like these, luv.
We all NORMAL PEOPLE have that kind of thoughts.
😂
In my 32 years of living, I can honestly say I've never put myself in a position where I grew to hate someone so much that I wished they would die just so that I could avoid the awkward situation of breaking up with them....as funny as it is 😂😂
@@DarkWandererAU OMG i need you in my life, you seem like a person that makes good life choises
The people who don't have these are either the ones who made a lotta good choices in life, or delusional people. The more "unscientific" side of psychology (particularly Jung) talks about acknowledging your evil nature. That is healthy thinking that you are actually capable of horrible things, something I regretted so much when I found out I was capable of cheating.
No.. Not really..
"Your smile makes me sad, sooooo bye!!"
So freakin relatable..
then stop making people smile
savage
the more i think about this sentence the crueler it gets
@No Akomplice no he isn't..
With that face and smile, he could play the joker.
That moment when you nod along to the part where he mentions wanting your significant other dead and your boyfriend notices.
So... its been 2 months.
Is your boyfriend still breathing?
MrHeyfuckoff Maybe. I haven't looked inside his cell in a while
Freya Baldwin-Stuart so relatable
Freya McCullough Awww-awww you're so nice. Atleast you gave him a cell.
😉
Hahaha
" I Pay more taxes than your current president. " 😂😂😂😂😂😂 , spot on.
$30000000 is what he paid.
750.
Daniel Sloss is absolutely one of the best stand-up comics of today.
ThatCheapDrummer oh dear...
People have different tastes in humor. This guy and John Mulaney are pretty high up, for me.
+Alex Povich Oh no, a 5 minute stand up clip and you _barely_ laughed. He must be just the worst then.
What I don't get is how he doesn't have a stand-up special on Netflix (or something) yet. He has 40-50 minutes worth of stand-up material from Conan alone.
Yeah
*"I pay more taxes than the current president"*
This aged well
It was true tho...
Extremely well
As if anyone would pay taxes if they figured out how to play the system.
OMG THE SLOSSAGE IS BACK
Leo Edwards that's how the Slossage is made.
The Slossness monster
Dental Sloss
Dude is easily in my top 5 stand up acts.
'If they were to just die' - had that exact thought in that pause.
Omg he did Jigsaw on Conan? How many people broke up that night 😂
This video is way too relatable. I know he sounds a bit crazy when he’s talking about these things but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have that voice in the front of my head.
You are 100% right.
You had me at the first half... until you said "front" of your head 🤣 are you doing alright?
Saw him in Brighton (and hugged him) in November! He's absolutely brilliant but man, Americans weren't laughing half as hard as we were :D Such a sensitive crowd lol
Jane Begger its more like older audiences won’t laugh as much. They make up the bulk of late night shows. I’m mean it’s not as if we don’t have comedians who say crazy things.
They’re not really sensitive it’s just that it’s harder to make Americans laugh because we have laughed at ourselves and some of the worst things out there lol. He is really funny and as an American I laughed hard because I’m not so ‘sensitive’ as you said. Lol.
Feral Wolf B.S. This is in Burbank, as in Southern California, as in offended people capital of the world next to San Fran.
@Jeff B But... he's not Cockney he's Scottish
I'm American, not sensitive. But I'm also Irish. I get it bro.
yay Macaulay Culkin is back!
Blasted Billy I forgot about that! 😹
Finally. Have been waiting for Mr Slossage
I feel like he and Dan Howell should meet
Holly Collins omg that’s so true his humour is so similar to Dan‘s 😂
And Louis C.K and Bill Burr
Yes
YES
Those eyes...is it just me or does he actually resemble Kate Mckinnon??
yup, i call them crazy eyes, strictly from a physical point of view, they look crazy. I personally love Kate Mckinnon and think she's great though
If Kate McKinnon and Macaulay Culkin had a kid.
“ have you ever bin in one of those relationships where you just fall out of love?" No but " falling out of love" was the reason my parents got devoiced . So kinda relate
he also pays more taxes than all the churches in this country combined, but no one mentions that.
DJ Deckard Cain are you upset he mentioned Trump?
And the Clintons
Are you upset your shitbag candidate lost??
Churches in the United States are all tax exempt. We ALL pay more taxes than all the churches in this country combined. Someone missed that day in US Gov class! ;-)
Taxes aren't everything......unless you want roads, police, firemen, teachers, sewer and water systems, parks, sidewalks, etc.etc.
This man is my intrusive thoughts personified
Reminds me of George Constanta from Seinfeld trying to get off his wedding hahahaha
I went to see Daniel up in soho and I’ve honestly never laughed so hard in my life- I can’t wait for him to do another show in London!
Please get Conan to play Resident Evil 7 in VR... With all the jumpscares, his reactions would be too good to miss...
Живко Јанкулоски yes
I don't understand the hype for "Resident Evil 7". You can't even call it a Resident Evil game because there are no zombies or parasite-infected people in this game, just one crazy family. It also doesn't have anything to do with the previous Resident Evil story afaik. They probably just called it "Resident Evil 7" because of the series' fame.
Daniel Sloss is a special brand of sociopath and I absolutely adore him
I love this guy! Hilarious!! He just says what we all think but to afraid to say 😅
Freaking love that guy ! So relatable that it kinda scare me x')
Am I a sociopath ?
clumzyolivia if you relate to tripping 10 year olds, yes
No, just human
This set is a guaranteed laugh every time :D love you, Daniel
forget the crowd that's amazing way to end! 10 out of 10. dude has legit crazy eyes though.
That last relationship bit was very real. It had me belly laughing. Hahaha
All I see is hard work, style, MATERIAL IN BUCKETS and STARDOM!!!! So real, so unique.
He always makes me smile. Always. He will be forever funny.
The breakup thing resonates me in my soul😂
Conan! You need to have this guy establish residency for stand up here in Vegas if that’s even possible. He’s brilliant and would sell out every show! 👌🏼
I'm currently in a relationship I want to end. Been wondering how to do it.
This is perfect.
* copy-pastes link *
*sendible chuckle* Dark humor resides in you too. You're a funny one. +1 for you
I love him!!! He's so funny!
Why is this set so relatable? 😂
he doesnt disappoint ever!! lol 😂😂😂
That joke aged like fine wine.
Hahahan dafuq, it is very relatable tho...
hahahahaha i love daniel sloss
Having bad thoughts is just part of considering your options before you act.
If you didn't have bad thoughts, you wouldn't know which the good ones were.
It's all relative.
Once he started talking about falling out of love I took three sips of water back to back and spit all them out. Daniel’s a genius with his punchlines and delivery
Sometimes I imagine myself punching a random stranger and it feels great
Has any comic appeared on Conan more than this guy? I feel like this has to be his 6th or 7th appearance.
I believe Conan is executive producer of both of Sloss' Netflix specials.
racheladq8 what is daniels special called
sunny Dark & Jigsaw I just finish watching it, really recommend if you haven’t watched already.
Kam:p*Fai:r do you have the title of the series?
sunny in my country (Thailand) it’s listed as “Daniel Sloss: Live Show” ... i typed his name to find it :)
Finally i saw you after a very long time and i can't stop laughing and smiling too❤️
he can see in my soul. how is this possible
getting better and better on delivery, well done
I don't trust people that don't have that voice there absolutely true it just need controlling and you'll be a good master. I love how truthful he is.
Problem with the english language is that its too few word to explain the strongest feelings.
I see/hear people everyday that say I love you to people they dont even know personally.
We can all agree that love and hate are the strongest words we can use the explain what we feel.
So do we truly love ice-cream and your loved ones?
Do we truly hate genocide and getting stuck in traffic?
English is my second language so please correct me or hate me, cause thats what youtube is all about ;)
mate, it's called a thesaurus
Sorry I'm late but I think you aren't wrong 😊 It's ok to love ice-cream and to love your friends. I think it depens on the situation ( another proof that things must be heard / seen in their context) But I agree that people now tend to use love or hate too easly😂 You said that english wasn't your first language which is also my case so maybe we missed something or don't understand something 😂😂😂
"kick it"😂😂
testing the crowd with the tax joke
This bit reminded me of Louis CK's "of course, but maybe" bit. Different takes on the same idea, but both done well. I enjoyed it.
SO happy that he's back!
Conan doesn't even hire other comedians anymore, Daniel Sloss is at the top of his contact list.
He is that soul from the movie soul. Number 22. He has that vibe.
My brain is messed upppp 😂 goddamn I relate too much to this
I relate with this guy so much!
such a cute guy
This may be the funniest dark humor that I've found today lol
2:55 "And have the high ground"
Normal people: meh
Obi-wan Kenobi: (visible happiness)
Fellow Scot represent! ✌🏼
"Because I'm dead inside....BYEEE"
100 percent relate.
absolutely brilliant ... saw him 3 time and cannot wait for october to see his new show
i was so happy when i saw this was available
love this guy
he has changed his style. I can't say I dig his louiesque persona now.
imagine being his ex gf and finding out he admitted to wanting you dead on tv😭
2:12
The shadows or bags (idk) under his eyes makes the performance better for some reason.
Is it just me?
2:02 Lol XD you can hear it in his voice that he had to keep himself from laughing to tell the joke.
I love Daniel Sloss. Like if you do too?
i love this dude
I see Daniel Sloss, I pressed like
I loooove this guy :D
2.50 an on
That's me.. Like srsly😂
Daniel Sloss basically is admitting to having anxiety disorder btw. The dark thoughts is a way of avoiding panic attacks so your brain is like has deep dark evil thoughts
i love this guy
3:34 never have i ever laughed so fckn hard
He's so cute😍😍😍😍😍
brutally hilarious
THE WAY IM RELATING IS SCARING ME TO DEATH PLSSSS
This is so relatable it's scary
spectacular
bloody awesome sounds a bit inspired by bill burr but great delivery. Man has summed up my life in 5 minutes.
it's weird hearing Sloss edited for TV lol but even without his delightfully filthy mouth, he's hilarious!
The Sloss-Ness Monster in spectacular fashion
The Slossness Monster comes back to Conan.
2:45 can totally relate
So him about 4 years ago at Edinburgh. Brilliant comedian
He is awesome!
I CAN TOTALLY RELATE
Before he said "kick it" my brain thought "kick it"
some lines got tingled a tiny tiny bit and I loooove it
Omg he is so great
He really needs a show
I know exactly what you're talking about.... my voice tells me to chuck things as hard as i can at them (mainly at their head) just to see what would happen. And it'll go for pretty much anything..... Frozen water bottles seem to be a favorite for this train of thought. 😇😇
Oh. My. God. That relationship story is so me..
I like him, in my opinion he's funny and original.