How to Deal with Controlling Parents. SEND THIS VIDEO! Let Me Help! Great for all Ages.
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
- How to Deal with Controlling Parents? SEND THIS VIDEO! I've Got Your Back! Fingers crossed they will hear and reach out. Good for all ages.
PARENTS/CAREGIVERS: This video is made in hope that relationship with your child improves. Your child, young or fully mature adult, is most likely not knowing what to do: They may be at a loss as to how to speak with you. Yet they, just like you, yearn to be loved.
PLEASE NOTE: This video is not designed for overtly dysfunctional or abusive families. Stay safe and seek professional or emergency support.
#controllingparents #toxicparents #childhoodtrauma #complextrauma #spiritualgrowth #cptsd #ComplexPTSD #ptsd #mentalhealth # #spiritualtransformation #trauma #PTSD #narcissism
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My parents are so invasive with every aspect of my life it’s making me feel violated and like I’m not allowed to just have a life of my own. I can’t freaking wait to meet my therapist to talk to them about how problematic their behavior really is.
I wish I could send this to my parents but it would be met with rage and deflecting blame. Apparently, I was “born” with cptsd in their eyes.
Same here my mom would get angry and deny doing any of this then tell me im disrespectful and tell me to go live with my girlfriends parents instead because they claim I always put them first but how can they blame me when this is what I have to deal with when I am at home. Why would I want to put someone I love in this situation?
@@kelseyeroh2454 omg sameee
@@hameedaolimohammed5374 can relate as well
I would still do it
i’m dealing with the same problem over an over again an they still don’t get it 😒
To anyone who can relate. I am so sorry. I know what it’s like to be unrecognized, diminished, controlled, manipulated, and downgraded. I am completing an honours degree with top marks, plan on attending law school, am currently working for a major bank and part of several extracurricular ventures. But in my parents’ eyes I am a failure because they have not managed to control my every move and I did not turn out to be a puppet and “heed all of their advice” (do exactly as they please). It hurts. It hurts seeing others be able to speak to their parents normally, it hurts seeing others have normal relationships with parents who are not stubborn manipulative and controlling, it hurts so badly. I vow to never be this way with my own children. I will not break my kids
I pa**c at the sight of my pa**nts. I'll be in my room and I'll be literally sw**ting because I'm s**red I will hear them. I'm writing like this because otherwise **ey might get n*ti*ied.
Anytime I’ve tried to bring up how they’ve hurt me, they either justify it or call me a lier
So how many people are here just to get some validation that your parents are not healthy? No parent is gonna watch this video if they are controlling bc this threatens their need to be right…thanks for the empathy though. These are words they will never think or say themselves so this is great for my needs.
I am 23 and i live a home and my mom controls my life and i feel like she hates me
Move out and found a job if you feel she controls you
@@yasmined16 Obviously. Getting a good job that you can actually live off of is the hard part.
How's your situation now? Im 22 now and going thru the same thing!
I wish it would even be safe to send something like this to my dad, we haven't talked for over a year now. I saw my nan (his mum) today, I was hopeful it would a warm interaction, she asked what I was doing and I honestly told her that I was in therapy and I haven't gone back to work yet, she laughed at me and said I'm taking the piss and I need to get a real life. I have been in the process of getting back into work after trying to build my confidence up again after years of this kind of criticism about my achievements, despite doing well at school and University to try and avoid the shaming and rejection, and I just want to cry, it breaks me down every time.
I'm sorry. I wish you fortitude and fortune, because I think whatever you do, it will never be enough for them. Take care.
Create success for yourself and not for anyone else’s validation. You don’t need to be around people who don’t want to see you succeed or they got their own issue projected into you. They have to do their own inner work with their own motivation. Try to forgive them Internally without any interaction with them so that you can be free and not just for them having any kind of validation. Your healing, your love, your heart, your growth, your transformation, your wellness and love your own authentic purpose and joy. Perhaps they brought you into life , don’t let them take you out :)
Accountability and not deflecting is huge
My dad doesn't see me as a 14 year old and tries to control what I do like if I have a youtube channel, NOPE! I have to hide it from him because if I don't he'll say im too young and that he doesn't want me to upload art and videos (without my face). He's told me multiple times that im not my own person and that he owns me. Im also the oldest so I get blamed a lot, but he's made me pay for my siblings actions, made me do more chores, and treat him by sir and thinks I'm basically a servant to him. I know he's having a hard time because he's missed out a lot of my life and that I've grown up so much and gonna go to college in 4-6 years, but I need to be my own space. His grasp has caused me panic attacks, worry, and thinking I have to live up to what he wants and hide who I am. Im ready to change but im scared of being kicked out, grounded, or getting belittled.
This is why im afraid to come out as trans, im afraid of being abandoned and abused and treated like a butler. And im ready to change that
I wish I could send this to my Dad. Unfortunately it would only lead to more deflection and less accountability. I believe he suffers from NPD and looks forward to outliving myself as he always gets a grin on his face when my grandmother says it is heartbreaking when the child dies before the parent. I live in hell, have considered leaving home to live in a shelter and start over due to him. It breaks my heart.
thank you so much for this video,
I grew up in a very controlling household where everything had to go through my parents before I was allowed to do anything and anything that they said had to go. I had to listen and obey them or else there would be consequences. one thi g my mom anyways used to say was "you do that and you'll see what happens". this saying is forever ingraved. now that I have mDe the decision to move out, get engaged and married at age 30 my parents don't want anything to do with me. they don't wanna try and fix the relationship as apprenly I have already don't too much harm and hurt them by deciding to move out and have my own life.
For everybody watching, to understand how much truth this women is speaking, you would have to be the child to experience a controlling parent to see how incredibly educated & intelligent this women is, and the message she’s giving.
Oh wow! This is awesome. Sadly, my super insecure and defensive mom will shut it down fast if you don't really sweet talk her at the beginning though 😂
same, I feel like my mom would mock it and possibly not even click the link
My parents treat me like I’m not a real person like I’m still a little girl and like I shouldn’t be taken seriously or be my own person In the world I’m 19 and live with them as of now but I want to change that as soon as I can……. It’s like they want me and my brother to live as if we were their children and nothing more forever, and like our whole lives should be revolved around them. Like we can’t have our own private life or thoughts like we can’t have interests outside of them …. Really it’s just our mom… she tries to control my style my hair and my weight and what I do and don’t eat or how much (I’m a healthy weight) she tries to overfeed me a lot of the time because I believe she wants me to be heavier. She acts like I don’t love her because I distance myself when she does this but the only time I feel ok is by myself
I feel like you described my mother to a T when you talked about the yelling mother. She has no boundaries. I just wish I had the courage to show them this.
I grew up with an extremely extremely controlling mother and a father who let her get away with it. Never allowed to date or even have a pen pal of the opposite sex. Not allowed to attend dances at school. Not allowed to talk to boys until age 23 I left finally. She told me to leave so I did. Tried to have my marriage annulled at age 23.
Same story. Were they religious ?
I wish I could show this to my mum, but I can imagine the response, and it wouldn't be good 😢 it's so sad, once upon a time I had a good relationship with my mum 😔
I feel like this title is misleading. I came here as someone dealing with controlling parents and in laws hoping to learn more about how to deal with it and instead I get a video telling the parents how to act when in reality if most of us showed this video, it would likely not generate a great outcome and the parents would likely not listen. It’s very blunt and has a lot of truth but it would be hard for them to hear. I think it might be more helpful to help those who are enduring it learn how to handle it rather than telling the parents how we think they should or should not act. Sometimes telling them to their face only brings more projection and closed ears. We can’t control others and how they behave, including our parents, but we can learn how to deal with it and detach from the situation. It is not easy. But I believe it can be done at least to some extent through detachment, love, boundaries, setting a good example and learning to be self sufficient so that we don’t rely on them completely. If it gets too difficult there’s always the option of walking away and taking space. Sometimes that’s what people need for a while.
I believe this video will help: ua-cam.com/video/I8Nd2pCP4UQ/v-deo.html
I have a few videos about controlling parents; and this one I just shared hopefully meets the mark. Viewers seem to really like it and I hope some of the comments are helpful, too. Thanks for viewing.
omg I had that freeze respond so many times during my childhood...still costing my self-esteem until now
I've been the teenager in the story you described. I had a disturbing dream last night (twice) that may describe what was happening on the inside of that teenager.
I saw four children, probably aged 7-9. They were in a dark room. There was an authoritative voice from outside the room. I don't think it spoke actual words, but it gave a strong enough impression that there was no question that it was giving instructions to get into a small structure. It was small, just large enough for the four children to stand up inside it next to each other.
The children stood inside it, and it turned on. It was obviously some kind of incinerator, because as soon as it turned on, the hair on all the children burned away. They were in immense pain, and screamed. The voice made another instruction, that the children were to stand there and remain quiet, or it would get worse. Shockingly, the children didn't move, and stood there, wanting to scream, but did not. I witnessed it for a second or two and then the dream stopped. I had the dream a second time in the same night and woke up after that.
Maybe the kids represent you as a child at different points in your past.
I had a dream about two children. I was in a field of corpses. It looked like it was a war torn area and I felt like it was somewhere in Africa. In the distance a tank was rolling. There was rubble and fires burning around. One small little black girl, maybe 3 or 4, was trying to attend to a wounded infant. She was pointing at the baby and looking at me with concern. She was too young to speak full sentences but she kept saying "baby... baby!" In a tiny concerned voice. I'm not black and although this dream shook me, I never understood the meaning. Years later, a therapist specializing in dream interpretation suggested that Africa is the birthplace of humanity and therefore it can represent our origins. Then he further suggested that maybe those children represented my own inner child. I cried and cried after that session.
How do I deal with a parent i live with when i hold up my end of an agreement and she doesn't and will manipulate, lie and play dumb?
That’s a narcissist
Wow. So good but I can’t send it bc the argument my mother and I would have would be over the top
My parents are too controlling for this one
Brilliant! Thank you ❤️
I'm in the middle of a divorce after 18, years my wife's parents never liked me from the very beginning, she was 27 and I 24 when we met online and we were both living with our parents at the time how ever I had moved out at 17 and was on my own until I moved back in at 23 she never moved out and stayed with them for the first 10 years of her adulthood and only had 1, friends that was busy more often then not and ended up becoming bff with her mom first her I met her dad he turned his head up to me when I went to shake his hand and said nice to meet you and would even call her up at 9pm when she was by my (my parents) house 40 mins away telling her it was time for her to be heading home at 27 years old and she would leave 9 months into dating she ended pregnant and we broke the news to them around Christmas they wasn't happy 1 thing I remember was her brother saying ultimately it was her choice which we had talked and decided to move in with each other for a few months and if it felt right get married few days or week later something like that her dad had asked me in a 1to1 talk what our intentions were after telling him what we decided he responded with no daughter of mine is going to live with a man not married prompting me to propose a day or 2 later not wanting to push the issue which I believe now was intending to scare me off since his opinion of me was so low though I would just leave so the she and I had made arrangements with a justice of the peace to have our wedding in his back yard out in the country close to where I lived and where we would be living after about 45 mins outside new Orleans that was set up for it already which wasnt good enough for her daddy who insisted on renting the NCO club at the local barracks so now we haven't even gotten married yet and he had already determined the where when and how we got married the first 7 months were good in we live far enough away from them to keep their meddling to a minimum but at that time hurricane Katrina came threw and destroyed their house and they moved in with us for a year until they go rebuilt which my wife allowed him to pay our rent to help us out and pay their way but was really to have a say in how we ran out house the next year was not fun but got through it shortly into year 3 I had lost my job and had to return the favor and we moved in with them and had joined building trades union a month later and worked a little here and there but summer was the slow season and by the end of summer he had accused me of lying to my wife and tried to start arguments between us several times and started hollering y'all are going down and taking us with you basically want me to leave this is after trade in 6 figure campers and brand new trucks 3 times in the last couple of years losing 10s of thousands on each one of those and I was the one taking them down, after about 6 months I had got a really good short term job and was going into the busy season and made anout 4k in 10 days and having been cooped up in the house for 6 months and not doing anything I decided to take the wife to a casino and spend a couple hundred to get her out of the house we didn't get very far before he was calling we moved out that night and it never got any better after that eventually they would end up lying to police for the first time about me a few years later trying to get rid of me with 3 witnesses telling he was wrong and a few years later end up moving only a few miles from them and almost never seen the wife who never did anything more then to tell them to stop it and say she stood up to them and was dedicated to me when in reality only spoke up for me and was dedicated to them couldn't comprehend you can't be committed to 2 relationship when 1 is at odds with other, just in the last year they were caught twice goin through my wifes phone reading my messages to her looking for something to convince a cop of a crime and called the police on me the first time they were caught for the second time iny marriage after I had caught the wife lying and cheating on me for 3 months and trying to work it out with her not to mention all the inappropriate phone calls to my wife giving her attitude or talking shit about me and how she should leave me or trying to make her feel guilty for not spend so much time over there any more while we were trying to fix our marriage or telling us how to raise our kids or giving my kids and my wife attitude when we went out on a family day and didn't invite one of the people that harassed me for over a decade I was the one that wanted to get our kids baptized and to start volunteering in the community to teach them to give back and she left me because she got tired of hearing me complain and argue about her not doing anything to make them stop only wanted to tell me she can't control what people do but wouldn't even get mad at them enough to stop talking to them for a week or 2 to get the to stop like I had suggested for most of my marriage wanting to compare 2 weeks to abandoning them acting like I wanted her to leave them to starve to death forever which only encouraging them to keep going and she found it easy to leave me forever then stop talking to them for 2 weeks and having lived in her familys place I got a 5 day notice to evict a week later putting me on the streets and living in my car in an ally downtown for the next 5 months during winter and claims she wasn't a bad wife and she was dedicated and committed and wasn't brainwashed
Moved into my dads place recently to save money on rent and build my cleaning business. He treats me like a dog calls me a victim if i make any complaints. Never listens to me. When he does talk to me its a monolog . I dont wven know if i love him anymore
My mother is a narc and a manipulator
My father is a camillion, double standard control freak he's one sided only he has no accountiblity or take responsibility I have to walk on eggshells around him and feel worthless and like I'm not good enough. My sister is one of his flying monkeys she and him both call me paranoid, crazy, tell me I'm too sensitive, I'm just imagining things. I end up yelling at her because she pisses me for using crazy making on me.
I´m bi and I did some mistakes and recognized them, but my parents said they´ll kick me off their house if I didn´t stoped being Bi, what shoul I do?
Fake it! I know you don't want to but your safety is the most important thing and sadly you have to live like this. Im telling you to hide it until you're on your own and safe. Its not the wanted thing, but you need to hide for your own safety. Its the unfortunate thing, but its what you must do to be safe
If your parents are willing to kick you out over whether you’re bi or not then they are showing conditional love rather than true unconditional love to you and are not accepting you for who you are. What you can do I think depends on your situation. Idk how old you are, but if you are an adult, you have options. You can tell them that you are who you are And if they cannot love and accept you for who you are and they want to kick you out over it and harm your relationship then that is their choice. You can research find ways to make money and move out. Become more self sufficient. It takes a lot of hard work and effort but can be done. If you are a minor, and you don’t want to go into foster care or end up on the street, then you may have to just endure it like the other comment says until you are old enough and self sufficient enough to go out on your own. Then you can tell them how you feel and go from there.
please do a come to jesus video i think that's the only way my mom will actually listen to this HAHAH
My folks make me hate life
Mine too
Do u think people with controling parents are more likely to think far ahead into the future
Depends. A person with controlling parents seeking to escape their grasp and live for self HAS to think further ahead to escape them. Another who is controlled won't think for self.
How can I talk to you? I 'need' to talk to you..
Thank you for viewing. Email me for private sessions at info@hubfortheheart.com. Thank you, too, for your additional comments on the other video: Please know low self worth can be one of the major symptoms of a controlling environment....you are not alone. With respect, Karuna
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