How to Love Someone You Don’t Like

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  • Опубліковано 3 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 139

  • @Ra20233
    @Ra20233 22 дні тому +59

    I spoke with a priest about this just a week ago. As he reminded me, "prudence" is the king of virtues. Use it with all relationships. Being a Christian does NOT mean to be a doormat. The bare minimum is to be charitable, whatever that looks like in your own prudence.

    • @AlexanderBrown77
      @AlexanderBrown77 16 днів тому +1

      Romans 4 KJV 5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness.
      🤔 Faith in what?
      Romans 3 KJV 🩸
      25 Whom God hath set forth _to be_ a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;

  • @chrismeloy1149
    @chrismeloy1149 22 дні тому +43

    I still remember a sermon from probably 25 years ago when the priest said something to the effect of, “love your neighbor doesn’t mean you have to go on a picnic with them “.

  • @edelmiraespinosa9689
    @edelmiraespinosa9689 21 день тому +14

    That's the hardest thing to do as a Catholic, not have bad feelings for people who hate us or criticize Jesus or our Mother Mary.

    • @ryanjupiter3143
      @ryanjupiter3143 17 днів тому

      they are allowed to criticize jesus or mother mary, not eveyrone has to think alike. its not our job to bring everybody on our side. let people be people, just be yourself, not everybody has the same views

  • @melanudrigill
    @melanudrigill 22 дні тому +10

    The way I've always thought of it to myself is that it's not fake if you are projecting the behaviour you are legitimately striving for. It might not be how you feel at this moment, but it is how you want to feel and are striving to feel. Like if someone beats you at something, you go an congratulate them despite feeling crummy and disappointed, and it's not fake because you want to be the sort of person who would congratulate them, and you're starting with the outward appearance of it as a kind of practice.

  • @timpy42
    @timpy42 6 днів тому +1

    I just came back from visiting a Carthusian monastery, and the Prioress there told me that to love other people, we must love them FOR Jesus. ALL of our love goes to Jesus, not directed at the PERSON. And that before talking with someone pray, pray WHILE talking with them, and then pray after. Now I thought it would make me feel more distanced from them if I'm praying while they're talking, but she said Jesus is in the deepest part of all our hearts-so to do that is to be MORE present with them. So if you have trouble, try gentle mental prayer while in conversation with someone, just even Jesus name repeated over and over.

  • @illigirl768
    @illigirl768 22 дні тому +14

    Someone being 'annoying' is one thing...someone being emotionally abusive or physically is another, definitely keep distance from them for your own safety.

  • @pennybrooks9038
    @pennybrooks9038 22 дні тому +25

    Gosh, I really need prayer/divine intervention in this area. My mom and myself have such a tumultuous relationship.

    • @niva6511
      @niva6511 21 день тому

      @@pennybrooks9038 you are not alone.

    • @margaretsmith6438
      @margaretsmith6438 19 днів тому +4

      I have the same situation. I feel exactly how you feel about my mother. I too need prayers and God’s grace to heal my broken heart.

    • @niva6511
      @niva6511 19 днів тому +3

      @margaretsmith6438 sending you love and prayers my sister in Christ.

    • @pennybrooks9038
      @pennybrooks9038 12 днів тому

      @@margaretsmith6438 I’m at a loss how to fix things. I worry and wonder if Father God understands that we may be too broken to fix……..over 50 years of pain, trauma and mutual damage

  • @jen1963
    @jen1963 21 день тому +7

    This is so affirming as I've been struggling with this for years with an in-law. I started praying for him and instead of avoiding conversations with him, I've been asking him sincere questions. Even though he only talks about himself the entire time and still treats me poorly compared to others, I see how much he loves his wife and kids and am able to see the good in him.

  • @mariapepper6175
    @mariapepper6175 21 день тому +6

    ❤ Dear Fr., thank you for your beautiful lessons. I have tried, for years, to do what you suggest. Then I realized that I must remove myself from toxic relationships. They are occasion for sin and turmoil. I want peace in my life. When I was critical of a certain politician and expressed my opinion of right to life, my friend of 40 years threatened me and verbally abused me. My eyes were opened to the realization that she has been doing this to me for years. I ended our friendship. I hold no grudge. I do not hate her. I do have such peace and comfort and feel closer to God than ever before. God bless you. 🙏💞💕

  • @debbie2027
    @debbie2027 22 дні тому +25

    I pray for those who have hurt me that we all become the Saints our Lord made us to be.... I refuse to put myself in a position to purposely interact with people who have proven to be toxic, abusive, controlling to the point of coercion and/or have shown a propensity to be physically aggressive toward me ..... My goal is to do no harm and maintain healthy boundries with people who act more like publicans than Christians .... Connecting with those I struggle to be drawn to isn't an issue by the glorious grace of our God

  • @Eulampia
    @Eulampia 22 дні тому +11

    I have trouble loving my mother in law who has hurt me in the past for no reason . The Lord convicted me to forgive her this past Lent . Now I have trouble loving my brother in law who is a narcissistic free mason . Thank you for this video ✝️🙏🏼✨🤍

  • @bethanyann1060
    @bethanyann1060 16 днів тому +2

    This is something I needed to hear. I’ve been actively struggling with this with a person I find irritating. I keep trying to not let my irritation show in my facial expressions, and I do actively try to engage them in conversation when they want to talk. I pray for God’s continued graces in this area of my life 🙏

  • @laurascott605
    @laurascott605 20 днів тому +3

    Ouch. So convicting as I struggle with how to handle a specific relationship in my life. This video didn’t give me any answers or resolution per se, but it reminded me that I have work to do and there’s no way I’m gonna do it without involving Jesus every step of the way…

  • @raquelMcN
    @raquelMcN 22 дні тому +7

    I've tried, but I can't seem to reconcile loving people that have hurt me or forgiving them. I know it's wrong and hope some day God gives me the grace. I'm not there yet I tend to tell myself that God can understand.
    Thanks Fr.Mark.

    • @simple_naildesigns
      @simple_naildesigns 22 дні тому +1

      Same, you’re not alone. God in his infinite mercy knows our heart 🙏

    • @ruby07241
      @ruby07241 18 днів тому

      I get it.

  • @froggalb1000
    @froggalb1000 18 днів тому +4

    For over 30 years my sister in law has been an alcoholic. She is highly educated and refuses to get help. She has ruined many family gatherings by coming in drunk and insulting the rest of the family either verbally or through text messages. She is also narcissistic. We keep forgiving her and trying again to no avail. I love her and wish she would get help, but neither she nor my brother will do so. Our family has told them they are always welcome in our homes as long as the insults and drunkenness are not a part of it. They have declined to do that. Our family loves them from afar. I hope God is not mad at me for not continuing to pursue this relationship.

  • @shareenchoudhury-leighton1748
    @shareenchoudhury-leighton1748 22 дні тому +5

    💙 This is challenging... i 🙏 pray that i may overcome it through prayer , humility & love & God's guidance 💙

  • @margaretbearsley7439
    @margaretbearsley7439 22 дні тому +3

    Thank you Fr Mark-Mary, for proclaiming the actual Gospel. Not the easy-way-out Gospel. Take up your Cross, and do God's will ❤❤❤

  • @heathsavage4852
    @heathsavage4852 22 дні тому +3

    Being civil and polite is not hard, even to people who have done you wrong. If they have really done you over, you can ignore them, and wish them no harm, and if they are ever in need, you can give, open-handed. Being loving makes you strong, not weak.

  • @PILI1202
    @PILI1202 21 день тому +2

    Ty for the reminder. As we approach this holiday season it’s easy to fall into these traps. I will prepare and pray!

  • @minnie_min6500
    @minnie_min6500 20 днів тому +1

    I was struggling with this for the whole week!!!! There is someone that I should really love in my family but I realised I actually dislike them and it was weighing on me.
    What a timely video😮

  • @FiatVoluntasTua888
    @FiatVoluntasTua888 22 дні тому +5

    Thank you Fr Mark✝️

  • @DawnLapka-c8i
    @DawnLapka-c8i 22 дні тому +2

    When I come into the presence of people who might lead me down the wrong path, I use instinct, keep my phone handy so I can call for emergency help if I need it, but above all that -- I pray for guidance throughout the interaction and try to see the person the way that Jesus sees them.

  • @mommagoose62
    @mommagoose62 22 дні тому +2

    Thank you! This is just what I needed to hear. God bless!

  • @akmark5000
    @akmark5000 22 дні тому +2

    Thanks for the video... a lot to think about Fr. Mark. I totally get the loving part (forgive and repentance of the soul). But I'm not too keen on the idea of liking without some degree of fakeness... especially because people are mere vessels for the soul and do not necessarily reflect or mirror their soul.

  • @spacemax8896
    @spacemax8896 22 дні тому +3

    Someone that continually hurts me MIGHT get an occasional prayer. They deserve nothing more. As far as forgiving, the father didn't go chasing the prodigal son, the son went to the father and begged just to be treated like a slave.

    • @laurascott605
      @laurascott605 20 днів тому

      Just remember the story of the Prodigal Son was also about the brother, but primarily it was about the father

  • @barbaramuckley4779
    @barbaramuckley4779 22 дні тому +4

    So what do you do about evil? We know it exists in all forms. And to some it is easily recognized.

  • @MomHarper927
    @MomHarper927 22 дні тому +2

    Thank you Fr Mark.

  • @Cat-purr-day
    @Cat-purr-day 22 дні тому +1

    Excellent reminder. Thank you!

  • @frannyleyden7988
    @frannyleyden7988 12 днів тому

    It is a difficult situation. I think all you can do is pray for their redemption and pray not to have hate in your heart twords them, but hope. I don't always feel that way but that is what I strive for.

  • @Vivian-ip2jd
    @Vivian-ip2jd 22 дні тому

    I know its hard for most of us to do what Jesus wants us to do.
    Because it seem like impossible. But I think a key is LOVE. For those people that I cant stand for any reasons, Iam always pray that God pls help my tinny heart knows how to love more like you. And it helps me.

  • @chemone8636
    @chemone8636 22 дні тому

    Thank you for clarity in this area. God bless you and everyone here!

  • @jwbarrote
    @jwbarrote 22 дні тому +5

    Love is not about your feelings, it’s about your actions. You don’t need to fall in love with you enemy. Even when you’re sufferiing because anyone’ s bad behaviors, remember that they don’t know what they’re doing… Ask God to forgive all of them. You’!! feel much better. God bless you!

  • @carolhensen8005
    @carolhensen8005 22 дні тому +2

    Good words, pray for the people I have hurt……..😞 I can’t forgive myself, my rosary prayer is my go to prayer…..

  • @brendaheggen9954
    @brendaheggen9954 21 день тому

    Father, I appreciate you so much❤️. And it works the other way too. I am a music person (creative thinker) and as a bit of an empath I can “feel” when I annoy people, so I try to be respectful and not go out of my way to interact with those people as it is a burden for them.

  • @michelleschroeder9015
    @michelleschroeder9015 21 день тому

    Thank you for the great message!!❤

  • @katpleiadean7525
    @katpleiadean7525 22 дні тому

    Thankyou Fr MM. i really needed to hear this tonight.

  • @birdierose
    @birdierose 21 день тому

    This was a beautiful message. thank you

  • @elspethsilverstar6136
    @elspethsilverstar6136 22 дні тому +21

    When I'm about to see people I do not like, I ask Jesus to guide me to being of service to those I do not like, and show me how to set healthy boundaries. He always delivers for me.on this prayer.

  • @v-veritas
    @v-veritas 22 дні тому +17

    There is a big difference between turning the other cheek when being with someone we don't like and being a doormat.
    When we encounter people that rob us of our energy for no reason but to feed themselves attention, we have an obligation to defend ourselves.
    God doesn't call us to be sweeties, but holy. If it means suffering by being with someone we don't like, then so be it. We should treat everyone with love, but we should also have appropriate love towards ourselves and cut ties with people that aren't good for us.

    • @spacemax8896
      @spacemax8896 22 дні тому

      Which is it? Suffer by being with someone or cut ties ? Suffering at the hands of someone else isn't good for anyone.

    • @v-veritas
      @v-veritas 22 дні тому

      ​@@spacemax8896 One or the other depending on the circumstances. If you cannot distance yourself from someone, then suffer with them (which is a form of love towards that person). If you can distance yourself, and there is no obligation for them being a part of your life, then you are obligated to distance yourself if the relationship is harmful to you (which is a form of love towards yourself).
      Love your neighbour as thyself. You can't love another without proper self love.

    • @niva6511
      @niva6511 21 день тому

      @@v-veritas What happen when it is family? Do you suffer by being with them or you are obligated to look after yourself by keeping a distance?

    • @v-veritas
      @v-veritas 21 день тому

      ​@@niva6511 Since the problem can be very much based in circumstances, I advise you to seek counsel from a spiritual director if you are having this problem

    • @jesseigwe479
      @jesseigwe479 20 днів тому +1

      @@niva6511I would like to know this answer too

  • @charflorida5433
    @charflorida5433 22 дні тому +15

    But there are some people who are evil and harmful. Those I keep far away, avoid, and love them in the sense that I do not wish them harm, only wish them conversion. Not sure if this is right or wrong.

  • @2021-j2d
    @2021-j2d 22 дні тому +3

    I don’t do the drama that some perpetrate. When I choose not to spend time with them there is less sin to confess. I hope I am correct in avoiding the drama because it is confusing and makes me fearful. Perhaps it is better not to be disrespected by those who don’t appreciate me and cause me to sin.

  • @charleylanzillotta5542
    @charleylanzillotta5542 21 день тому +2

    A main reason why I like Fakebook, especially with certain family members. I don’t “hate” but it is so much nicer to have love for them, but from afar. Person to person is another situation. Excellent sermon, thank you.

  • @FSR431
    @FSR431 22 дні тому +2

    What about willing the good? I believe we can love without an emotional attachment or even response.

  • @simple_naildesigns
    @simple_naildesigns 22 дні тому

    Beautiful reminder. I need more on this matter Fr. 🙏

  • @hannahdyjur5908
    @hannahdyjur5908 21 день тому

    Well put!!❤

  • @marsharowaihy6725
    @marsharowaihy6725 12 днів тому

    Thank you

  • @milksomethinggood
    @milksomethinggood 22 дні тому +1

    Amen 🙏 thank you, Brother

  • @paulacevedo8814
    @paulacevedo8814 20 днів тому

    Praise to to you God and Lord Jesus Christ😇🙏❤

  • @nataliavelazquez4497
    @nataliavelazquez4497 21 день тому +2

    It is difficult when your own blood makes fun or allow others to make fun my moral values and faith in front of others. It was difficult so i decided to stay away and pray for bc it was affecting me and still does. I don't know if i did right or wrong, pray for me

  • @anneendrey
    @anneendrey 22 дні тому +2

    Father, I need you to answer my questions

  • @Merciful_Munchies
    @Merciful_Munchies 22 дні тому +5

    What if loving them is what got me hurt.

    • @KellyS_77
      @KellyS_77 22 дні тому +1

      He covers that in the first couple minutes of the video.

    • @Merciful_Munchies
      @Merciful_Munchies 21 день тому +1

      @@KellyS_77
      Ok thank you for letting me know

  • @daisyg8384
    @daisyg8384 21 день тому

    Thank you. I know that God is asking me to forgive and to love my mother right now. But I just can't, for the moment... She completely broke my self esteem, during my childhood. She's a narcissist, she has a lot of mental troubles, including perversion, she still likes to subtly humiliate me, she's jealous of me on several things and often seems ungrateful for the things I give her. I know that deep down she loves me, but this doesn't change the rest... Being in her presence still hurt me everyday, but I don't have the choice cause I live with her. It feels so unfair sometimes to have to love people like that.

  • @anneendrey
    @anneendrey 22 дні тому

    After we forgive

  • @anneendrey
    @anneendrey 22 дні тому

    Do we have to forget about it or will we always remember?

  • @pasalasaga
    @pasalasaga 22 дні тому +3

    It's really hard to not feel tempted to violence when I have a communist partner in my class. And he makes certain comments that just...
    I'll leave It there. I prefer to remember Jesus' "Love your enemies", and Thorfinn's "I have no enemies". I wont give into the temptation of violence.

  • @StAlphonsusHasAPosse
    @StAlphonsusHasAPosse 22 дні тому +2

    It's hard at first, but when I think of someone who has done me wrong, I pray for God to bless them.

  • @williamwhitmore4710
    @williamwhitmore4710 22 дні тому

    You can still love someone but not love what they do. Your love for someone doesn't mean we don't love them, even if what they do, makes you feel anguish. I believe Jesus still loved the ones that harmed him, and through that experience was teaching the world, what they were doing. (Meaning-( their action)), was not favored by God. Sometimes when bad things occur, it helps us see clearly what loving someone should look like, as opposed to what it shouldn't look like.

  • @AuroraB-74
    @AuroraB-74 22 дні тому +2

    Yeah but how do to deal with people who are just mean or rude and they don't care if they are?

    • @heathsavage4852
      @heathsavage4852 22 дні тому +1

      Well, I have found that being really polite and nice drives them crazy! Why become what you despise? Just be as good as you can in all circumstances. Tough call!

  • @TDL-xg5nn
    @TDL-xg5nn 18 днів тому

    If love is willing the good of the other I can do that without liking them.

  • @jeneuweenlaf948
    @jeneuweenlaf948 22 дні тому +3

    Sorry, i can't love and like those whom i dislike. It's just not in me. Sorry, God. Best i can do is to leave them be, away from me.

  • @francesbernard2445
    @francesbernard2445 12 днів тому

    Maybe boxing for a living does run in my blood given how quick I step into the role of pointing out someone's blind spot out of concern for them regardless if it is a stranger whom I need to be pretending to not like them at the time only because I am female among females who have been told over and over again to not be talking to strangers while not wearing a habit. Ever.

  • @anneendrey
    @anneendrey 22 дні тому

    You forget but later on you remember and the hurt is gone is that OK?

  • @niva6511
    @niva6511 19 днів тому

    Father, what does turn your other cheek also, means? Does it mean if someone slap me on one cheek, I am to turn my other cheek for him to slap also? (Let him hurt me more) I am often confused with this.

  • @DescriptionofHeaven-uf7hl
    @DescriptionofHeaven-uf7hl 22 дні тому +1

    Gracious Jesus Christ, thank you for today's blessings love mercy forgiveness protection and for being with me my family and loved ones in our daily lives Amen 🙏🙏💘

  • @niva6511
    @niva6511 22 дні тому

    What about when interacting with them is hurting me? I forgive and have no grudge about what had happened. I wish them the best. I have no ill will. But I am scared to be in their presence because they just intentionally hurt me.

    • @jeneuweenlaf948
      @jeneuweenlaf948 22 дні тому +1

      @@niva6511 God didn't make you a doormat either.

    • @niva6511
      @niva6511 21 день тому

      @@jeneuweenlaf948 Thank you. It is such a struggle of guilt and shame for not seeing them. But when I see them, my mental health is suffering to the point of trauma.

    • @jeneuweenlaf948
      @jeneuweenlaf948 21 день тому

      @niva6511 I'm not sure what relationship you have with these people that makes you feel guilty and shame when u don't see them. Be well. May God give you the wisdom to deal with your situation. 💪

    • @niva6511
      @niva6511 20 днів тому +1

      @@jeneuweenlaf948 They are family. Thank you, please pray for me.

  • @lynncw9202
    @lynncw9202 22 дні тому +1

    My mother-in-law was a strange person. She didn't interfere and give unwanted advice etc. which we hear from other people about their in-laws, but there was something I just couldn't connect to with her. I tried to treat her with respect, and I hope I did, but I could not be a " friend" and was a bit cool. There was a girl at school that was the same. We couldn't stand each other for absolutely no reason, 🤷, but that was easier because we only saw each other at school. I have a lot of friends but sometimes there is someone who does not connect with your own personality, or you with theirs. I tried to be polite to them. That's as far as I could go.

  • @queeniedmi6788
    @queeniedmi6788 22 дні тому

  • @janicekulhanek6306
    @janicekulhanek6306 22 дні тому +1

    💗🌟🕊️

  • @connorericson
    @connorericson 21 день тому

    What of the person you don’t like is yourself?

  • @SamanthaOrtiz-g1c
    @SamanthaOrtiz-g1c 22 дні тому +1

    🛐🕍💝🌹💞🙏🙏🙏😇🕯️🕊️✝️

  • @Keri1986
    @Keri1986 21 день тому +1

    Coworkers…😑

    • @treeroofgrass
      @treeroofgrass 20 днів тому

      Yup. I work at a car stealership service dept…. Salespeople annoy me. 🤦‍♂️

  • @lakeboundgirl
    @lakeboundgirl 22 дні тому +12

    Glory!!! After so much struggles l now own a new house with an influx of $155,000.00 every month God has kept to his words,my family is happy again everything is finally falling into place.God bless America 🇺🇲

    • @john14671
      @john14671 22 дні тому

      That's a major turn around. Praise be to Jesus our Lord. Hallelujah

    • @john14671
      @john14671 22 дні тому

      But then, what do you do? How do you come about that in that period?

    • @lakeboundgirl
      @lakeboundgirl 22 дні тому

      It is simply the digital market. That's been the secret to this wealth transfer. A lot of folks in the US amd abroad are getting so much from it, God has been good to my household Thank you Jesus

    • @lakeboundgirl
      @lakeboundgirl 22 дні тому

      Big thanks to Mrs Mildred Evelyn Rooney

    • @lakeboundgirl
      @lakeboundgirl 22 дні тому

      Her top notch guidance and expertise on digital market changed the game for me

  • @jmclaughlin2009
    @jmclaughlin2009 21 день тому

    One part of this where I really struggle and don't know the answer to is when there is a person I can't stand, not because they're mean or hurtful, but because they're just really weird, and my friends find them really weird too. A constant source of second-hand embarrassment. You don't want this person isolated from everyone, but you also don't want to force your friends to hang out with this guy. How do you charitably tell someone that their awkward behavior makes others uncomfortable? I've run into this issue several times over my young adulthood.

  • @MOGO8907
    @MOGO8907 22 дні тому

    Ouch...welp I'm going to go read my sailor moon books see ya!

  • @rickywoodward2053
    @rickywoodward2053 21 день тому

    Jesus loves you and died for your sins (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). Just believe on him to be saved (John 3:15-16, John 6:40, 1 John 5:13). You just need to believe and your guaranteed eternal life.
    Works and/or sacraments don’t save you, neither do they prove you’re saved, or neither do you have to continue in them once you’re saved (Acts 16:31, Titus 3:5, Romans 11:6, Galatians 2:21). You also can’t lose your salvation or forfeit it (John 11:25-26, Ephesians 4:30, John 10:27-29). Once you are saved you are always saved, just another word for eternal life.
    Warning: If you add ANY works or your own righteousness to the work of Jesus sacrifice you do not believe in him or his promise and you are NOT saved (Romans 4:14-15).
    Please believe on him so you can spend eternity in heaven. God bless!

  • @ruby07241
    @ruby07241 18 днів тому

    I have to confess all the time because i pretty much despise donald trump. I think he is evil and destructive.

  • @snowy1634
    @snowy1634 9 днів тому

    I really gotta disagree with this video. Love is an action of will. Love means making a conscious decision that you will always do what is best for the other person. You will be there for them in whatever way you can be. You will never do anything to consciously hurt them. True Christian love is an action and has really nothing to do with emotions
    "Like" is all about emotions. It's about how you emotionally and spiritually connect with another person. It is about how they make you feel. It is not a conscious decision. "Like" is about things shared in common, having a similar sense of humor, similar outlook on life. You can't make these things happen. They are either true or are not true.
    We absolutely must love everyone without exception, from Hitler to Mother Teresa. That is a conscious decision we all must make and pray to God for the grace to be able to do it.
    But it is absolutely impossible to "like" everyone because it is not a decision. It is either true or it isn't, and has nothing to do with our choice.
    I think this priest is very young and has a lot of living to do.