I like how this is slowly transforming from the 'Stream of consciousness and Powerpoint mtg channel' to the 'Stream of consciousness and Powerpoint mtg channel with a weirdly high amount of videos about war crimes'
I had to rewatch the video, because somehow the first time I watched it, I thought there was a lot of war crimes! However, if you watch it a second time, it becomes clear that the Phyrexians are actually pretty cool and don’t do war crimes. Thanks for this perfect video!
6:36 Also Phyrexians are constantly infiltrating sleeper agents in other armies, which probably counts as "making improper use of the uniform of the enemy"
I really liked the art for phyrexia and the theming when I was a kid in the early 2000s. Now I primarily play Rakdos or Grixis. My first deck was phyrexien, though.
I guess technically speaking a decent chunk of war crimes do not apply to Phyrexia due to the lack of Geneva convention and the whole being non human, non free willed creatures and all. But huh, yeah, like in general war crimes are anything about having no mercy (Sheo), human experimentation (Gin), subjugating or attacking civilians (Norn and Vorin), destruction of property and looting of property (Ura) and use of cruel and unusual weapons (all of them, literally all of them). It is funny each grouping of war crimes can be easily assigned to one praetor tho
There may not be a Geneva convention, but there IS an organisation vaguely similar to it (the gatewatch/planeswalker alliance) and while they are not human and they are not free-willed creatures, they are certainly a militaristic force with a pan-sentient-race army. And you are totally right, it's kind of like the developers sat down and decided that each Praetor was gonna be the herald of warcrimes of a specific type! Kinda makes me want a more indepth rights violation video where we cover each Praetor in detail and go over the messed up stuff they did specifically, then compare each of them to see who is the least evil phyrexian and who is the most evil phyrexian.
@@ahealthkit2745 Doesn't Urabrask win the "least evil" award just for letting non-phyrexians find asylum in his lands? The standards are very low here, after all ...
For those wondering, the demonetization text is actually pretty NSFW, but here you go Quote: *Committing rape, sexual slavery, enforced prostitution, forced pregnancy, as defined in article 7, paragraph 2 (f), enforced sterilization, or any other form of sexual violence also constituting a grave breach of the Geneva Conventions* There's something about reading "forced pregnancy" that makes you wanna throw out...
One of the recent stories actually mentioned the rebels on new Phyrexia have trouble finding food and drink that isn't tainted by Phyrexian oil or poisons, so I'm guessing they DO attack food etc rather than just killing people.
In the new spoilers for March of the Machines, the flavor text for Tranquil Cove describes how the waters were transformed into oil. I think that counts as depriving someone of a resource essential to their survival... in other words, the Phyrexians are even more cool and fun than your video claims
But why take 10 minutes to say what can be summarized in one sentence: there is no Geneva in MTG, so there is no Geneva convention. Phyrexia did nothing wrong, all hail Phyrexia :)
Well, you never know if the real world isn't part of the MTG multiverse. After all, why would there be Cairo, Alexandria and Bagdad in Rabiah if it wasn't inspired by a visit to our world. Or someone from our world visited Rabiah. Maybe we will all get compleated some day who knows?
Compleat Geneva. Rewrite the Geneva convention. Commit no war crimes as you now control the multiverse’s supply of Swiss chocolate. It just keeps getting better. “Phyrexia has no Chicago dogs 😭” “If you go conquer Chicago, Phyrexia will have **all** the Chicago dogs.” Modern problems require modern solutions.
I for one love being a slave to sentient machines and then forcefully put through a torturous (which means really comforting) method to become one myself :)
War crimes: 0 Peaceful: 35 It's just aggressively liberating the organics from their weak fleshie organic bodies. We are helping them! All will be One.
6:20 Again, you could argue that the seizure of the property is “demanded by the necessities of war”. It really depends on where you draw the line at “necessary for the war”. It helps to win the war, at least.
You know- for a group of people who love civilians they do allot of warcrimes. That’s pretty weird tbh maybe our morals need to be readjusted to understand the phyrexians- it seems like they have a point too!
Regardless of the war crimes, phyrexians are interesting enough with much better artwork than if they werent turned, so yes i would join, all else should too :)
"superflous injury" means things that are likely to cause debilitating injuries or excruciating suffering more often than a fast merciful death, like incendiaries, certain chemical weapons, bio weapons, traps and mechanisms designed to maim to intentionally burden a force with carrying lame members, flare or laser weapons designed to blind etc.
It seems more than a bit contradictory. Hollow point rounds are specifically forbidden, which forces the use of full metal jacket... but hollow points are far more lethal, and full metal jacket is much more likely to only maim.
If i remember well, when the phyrexians discovered the myr smiths, the forced them to create more myr to increase their ranks and to have spare parts... so, give that score a +1/-1 for "forced reproduction"
Phyrexians not using flags would actually mean they don't break that war crime. The crime is pretending to surrender by using a white flag, but actually using it so the enemy lets their guard down. Now the second half of that line about using the uniform of the enemy is definitely something they do via sleeper agents. My point is that it's not a war crime for the reason listed in the video, but for a different reason!
Warcrimes are fun because you can't make a simulacrum of a prolonged agony. Actors screaming into a mic can never convey the essence of eating rat poop for sustenance. Great vid magick man Mike.
7:44 I understand it says bullets… but Phyrexian do use shrapnel… also you said Phyrexian don’t have free will… but Urabrask kind of does whatever he wants. Also… weapon war crimes… like fire are warc- *cough* “peaceful alternative”
3:45 Ok. ARGUABLY, the pherexian treatment is “in the subject’s best interests” because the Pherexians genuinely believe that being a Pherexian is an improvement.
Noah can you do a prismatic bridge deck with 95 lands and only 1 creature cultivator colossus and blade of selves and lightning grieves so you try to one shot opponents
You know if I got a nickel every time somebody brought up the Geneva Convention in a video about pop culture, I would have two nickels, which is not a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
A true logical Being would see that Phyrexia are diluded by their Mana-alligned flaws. Making them never perfect and thus never compleated. The only perfect Beings in all of MTG are the Eldrazi. Sure they can be trapped, halted and hindered but never illogical cease to exist.
Hey, winners write history so is it really a war crime if it isn't documented as one? Also yes, I love phyrexia so I might be bias but that doesn't matter.
I like how this is slowly transforming from the 'Stream of consciousness and Powerpoint mtg channel' to the 'Stream of consciousness and Powerpoint mtg channel with a weirdly high amount of videos about war crimes'
UN must keep an eye on Noah, ngl
Noah is slowly becoming radicalized
Let's be fair MTG is pretty much 80% war crimes.
@@lustacocasBoth the United Nations and the Bablovian governments
"Serra was a symbol of hope to Dominaria, so Norn defiled her temples with monuments to Phyrexia." Yup.
The answer is 0 because the winning side doesn't ever commit war crimes.
Tell that to Canada
@@sythrus as a Canadian, I am very confused. Maybe you meant Ohio
Since when?
@@TheSmartCinema nah there are some fucked up things Canadian soldiers did
@@TheSmartCinema Canada knows what it did.
As a political scientist who has studied war crimes I fully support this compleatly informational video.
Lol I get it!
Ha ha I see what you did there
^ǩaπa š’iimashaǩ
Can you call it a war crime if there's different species involved?
Nice avatar. Ave Dominus Nox
I had to rewatch the video, because somehow the first time I watched it, I thought there was a lot of war crimes! However, if you watch it a second time, it becomes clear that the Phyrexians are actually pretty cool and don’t do war crimes. Thanks for this perfect video!
Ever since I painfully had my skin removed and replaced by these cool metal plates, I have to say, the Phyrexians are by far the coolest.
Brothers he has been Compleated. We must do Exterminatus.
Uh, since the overall purpose is the creation of more Phyrexians, technically, are those crimes, you know...
6:36 Also Phyrexians are constantly infiltrating sleeper agents in other armies, which probably counts as "making improper use of the uniform of the enemy"
I mean, those are probably just spies. Which I'm not sure where they fall under.
Or use of completed civilians as weapons
Literally: "Blighted Agent" and "Ajani, Sleeper Agent". Worse than the uniform, the entire person can be used
@@dudeguy8686 or the entire army of a country
Yeah, flesh and skin probably count as uniform
"Rules are Meant to Be Broken" - spoken like a true Gruul stan.
Gotta Love Gruul.
I really liked the art for phyrexia and the theming when I was a kid in the early 2000s. Now I primarily play Rakdos or Grixis. My first deck was phyrexien, though.
Same. I still use an infect deck that would be terrifying if I decided to spend any money at all on it.
I *looove* the phyrexians. By far my favorite plane & nemesis of the franchise.
I love warcrimes! I think i'll try out this MTG thing!
bad idea, mate.
If you haven't already you should check out the game brigador
Words of a man about to lose thousands of dollars
I guess technically speaking a decent chunk of war crimes do not apply to Phyrexia due to the lack of Geneva convention and the whole being non human, non free willed creatures and all.
But huh, yeah, like in general war crimes are anything about having no mercy (Sheo), human experimentation (Gin), subjugating or attacking civilians (Norn and Vorin), destruction of property and looting of property (Ura) and use of cruel and unusual weapons (all of them, literally all of them).
It is funny each grouping of war crimes can be easily assigned to one praetor tho
There may not be a Geneva convention, but there IS an organisation vaguely similar to it (the gatewatch/planeswalker alliance) and while they are not human and they are not free-willed creatures, they are certainly a militaristic force with a pan-sentient-race army. And you are totally right, it's kind of like the developers sat down and decided that each Praetor was gonna be the herald of warcrimes of a specific type!
Kinda makes me want a more indepth rights violation video where we cover each Praetor in detail and go over the messed up stuff they did specifically, then compare each of them to see who is the least evil phyrexian and who is the most evil phyrexian.
@@ahealthkit2745 Doesn't Urabrask win the "least evil" award just for letting non-phyrexians find asylum in his lands? The standards are very low here, after all ...
The reason for so much redundancy in these laws is because people are always looking for loopholes.
they're still useless, people break them with no consequence.
@@gildeddrake1479 Not entirely, it usually results in war.
@@dalodulo1373teachers commit a war crime on a daily basis
@@dalodulo1373 Aren't these supposed to list things you can't do in war? They are already in a war, what's the difference lol
@@soleo2783War 2
10:34 Noah trying to save his ass after realising that his wardrobe is a portal to phyrexia
Thank you for another very important lecture on war crimes and Phyrexia. A couple of more and I will myself be *compleated*
War Crimes? Geneva Convention? More like the Geneva Suggestion amirite?
Geneva To-do list
I think they where a little busy invading mirrodin so they couldn't attend the meeting.
if i remember, phyrexians use rain of oil which remove all ability to use any plant on the field at food source for the opposing side.
Isn't 6:37 basically what Sleeper Agents are? Sure, they don't limit themselves to _just_ the uniforms of the enemy to kill them, but...
humans: its a checklist
phyrexia: its our to-do list
10:35 is what it sounds like when you get hit with glistening oil in real time.
Phyrexian invasion was actualy fantasy version of wars in Yugoslavia in 90's.
It takes a lot of courage to tell the truth! You're a real courager!
For those wondering, the demonetization text is actually pretty NSFW, but here you go
Quote:
*Committing rape, sexual slavery, enforced prostitution, forced pregnancy, as defined in article 7, paragraph 2 (f), enforced sterilization, or any other form of sexual violence also constituting a grave breach of the Geneva Conventions*
There's something about reading "forced pregnancy" that makes you wanna throw out...
Pretty sure they forcefully sterilize in the transformation process, war crime
At least Phyrexians have standards then
is completion not forced sterilisation
That's literally in there job discririprion.
@@logodsaw your don't know that they can't breed
*Sponsored by Elesh Norne, Mother of Machines*
Banner: "Come here and let mommy make you all better"
Sold.
The mommy of machine didn’t even need to ask me.
And now she ded
YES PLEASE!!!!
They kept vraska as a hostage to lure in Jace for some reason, she didn't turn until he showed up
I'd turn if I saw Jace too
I dont even play Magic the Gathering i still watch Noah for a year now and subscribed to him keep it up man
That cough right as he flips the numbers was the onset of completion.
One of the recent stories actually mentioned the rebels on new Phyrexia have trouble finding food and drink that isn't tainted by Phyrexian oil or poisons, so I'm guessing they DO attack food etc rather than just killing people.
Honestly some of those "war crimes" shouldn't even be listed as such. That's literally just war.
Congrats, you are a war criminal.
Phyrexia is just the biggest party of the multiverse.
Thank goodness the end result showed that Phyrexia was more peaceful than violent. Now I don't feel so bad splashing oil on my friends and family.
In the new spoilers for March of the Machines, the flavor text for Tranquil Cove describes how the waters were transformed into oil. I think that counts as depriving someone of a resource essential to their survival... in other words, the Phyrexians are even more cool and fun than your video claims
That cough at the end was great
Phyrexians out here collecting warcrimes like they’re Pokémon
But why take 10 minutes to say what can be summarized in one sentence: there is no Geneva in MTG, so there is no Geneva convention.
Phyrexia did nothing wrong, all hail Phyrexia :)
All will be one!
Well, you never know if the real world isn't part of the MTG multiverse. After all, why would there be Cairo, Alexandria and Bagdad in Rabiah if it wasn't inspired by a visit to our world. Or someone from our world visited Rabiah. Maybe we will all get compleated some day who knows?
Compleat Geneva. Rewrite the Geneva convention. Commit no war crimes as you now control the multiverse’s supply of Swiss chocolate. It just keeps getting better.
“Phyrexia has no Chicago dogs 😭”
“If you go conquer Chicago, Phyrexia will have **all** the Chicago dogs.”
Modern problems require modern solutions.
Of course there's Geneva Convention in MTG. It's Gen Con.
5:26
The way you say "there's a lot more where that came from." Is a LOT more ominous than I anticipated lol
As my grandfather Hans used to say:War crimes are not war crimes if there are no witnesses left to snitch on.
I love that Noah doesnt need any video description for it to take off!
"I don't know... they seem very reasonable."
Griffith~
As a member of an active fighting military I can tell you Geneva Convention list is often refered to as Geneva Checklist.
“He just likes science, that’s a war crime”-Noah
I'm glad someone finally gets why the Phyrexians are actually model citizens.
I for one love being a slave to sentient machines and then forcefully put through a torturous (which means really comforting) method to become one myself :)
Ya know I'm glad I watched this I used to think phyrexians were just a genocidal hive mind but turns put they're actually pretty peaceful
"But, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, consider all the crimes my client *didn't* commit!"
War crimes: 0
Peaceful: 35
It's just aggressively liberating the organics from their weak fleshie organic bodies. We are helping them!
All will be One.
Noah. You talked 10mins about warcrimes. I disabled my adblocks for this. I respect the dedication.
Noah is clearly a sleeper agent
I’m subscribing, this is golden
6:20
Again, you could argue that the seizure of the property is “demanded by the necessities of war”. It really depends on where you draw the line at “necessary for the war”. It helps to win the war, at least.
You know- for a group of people who love civilians they do allot of warcrimes. That’s pretty weird tbh maybe our morals need to be readjusted to understand the phyrexians- it seems like they have a point too!
Regardless of the war crimes, phyrexians are interesting enough with much better artwork than if they werent turned, so yes i would join, all else should too :)
March of Machines will introduce Warcrime counters confirmed.
The Geneva convention was written in lawyerspeak and we all know lawyers aren't fun
the real war crime here is that a tcg player was forced to read
Why do you keep saying flamingo? 🤣 loved the video. Absolutely hilarious! 🤣
Someone seems to have a thing for Elesh Norn, hmmm, and flamingos!
"superflous injury" means things that are likely to cause debilitating injuries or excruciating suffering more often than a fast merciful death, like incendiaries, certain chemical weapons, bio weapons, traps and mechanisms designed to maim to intentionally burden a force with carrying lame members, flare or laser weapons designed to blind etc.
It seems more than a bit contradictory. Hollow point rounds are specifically forbidden, which forces the use of full metal jacket... but hollow points are far more lethal, and full metal jacket is much more likely to only maim.
Huh, so this is what sleeper agents get up to in their free time. Good vid.
If i remember well, when the phyrexians discovered the myr smiths, the forced them to create more myr to increase their ranks and to have spare parts... so, give that score a +1/-1 for "forced reproduction"
Not even 10 seconds in and the first thing I hear is “ear crimes are fun” 😂
He just likes science
There can’t be a war crimes tribunal if there’s no one left to charge you.
Can't argue with those results
2:32 is great out of context
It’s not a war crime if it’s committed by the good guys
"there is no place in New Phyrexia any longer for those who would seek power over unity"... -Elesh Norn to Sheoldred
Man must be careful when he walks the path of Eugenics
Phyrexians not using flags would actually mean they don't break that war crime. The crime is pretending to surrender by using a white flag, but actually using it so the enemy lets their guard down. Now the second half of that line about using the uniform of the enemy is definitely something they do via sleeper agents.
My point is that it's not a war crime for the reason listed in the video, but for a different reason!
"Declaring that no quarter will be given." Sheoldred's very existence annihilates the concept of mercy. lmao.
My gf and I watch your videos we loved the flamingo
Warcrimes are fun because you can't make a simulacrum of a prolonged agony.
Actors screaming into a mic can never convey the essence of eating rat poop for sustenance.
Great vid magick man Mike.
7:44 I understand it says bullets… but Phyrexian do use shrapnel… also you said Phyrexian don’t have free will… but Urabrask kind of does whatever he wants. Also… weapon war crimes… like fire are warc- *cough* “peaceful alternative”
3:45
Ok. ARGUABLY, the pherexian treatment is “in the subject’s best interests” because the Pherexians genuinely believe that being a Pherexian is an improvement.
I need one on the Eldrazi
Thanks to you now I know which are the war crimes. Hopefully I'l be in charge of my country soon and use all my acquired knowledge!
This whole time I thought they were bad mamajamas.. Guess I'll need to rethink my position on phyresis.
Noah can you do a prismatic bridge deck with 95 lands and only 1 creature cultivator colossus and blade of selves and lightning grieves so you try to one shot opponents
“He just likes science; that’s a war crime”
Do one for Eldrazi 😂
A 'mostly peaceful' completion
Lmao the ending was funny af
You know if I got a nickel every time somebody brought up the Geneva Convention in a video about pop culture, I would have two nickels, which is not a lot but it's weird that it happened twice
Is this the first sleeper agent channel?
They only wish for all to be one, quite peaceful in my opinion
Cool architecture. ok guys hear me out...
Phyrexia sounds like fun. Is there a way to join?
2:27 I dunno he looks pretty happy to me
A true logical Being would see that Phyrexia are diluded by their Mana-alligned flaws. Making them never perfect and thus never compleated. The only perfect Beings in all of MTG are the Eldrazi. Sure they can be trapped, halted and hindered but never illogical cease to exist.
Hiw did this channel become my favorite for mid-effort absurd humor?
Do this but with helldivers xD
"They kill people, that's not people's food" - vampires have rights too, you monster!
I really learned about war crimes today
Phyrexians don't commit War Crimes. They Compleat Them.
.....I'll see myself out.🤣
Hey, winners write history so is it really a war crime if it isn't documented as one?
Also yes, I love phyrexia so I might be bias but that doesn't matter.
That awkward moment when the fantasy evil nation is less evil than a certain real life nation.
🇮🇱
when your turn geneva conventions into geneva bucket list.
"Geneva convention? More like Geneva suggestion, am I right?"
Elesh Norn, problably
PHYREXIA NUMERO UNOOOO
We stay winning
I would willingly become a Phyrexian
"It's not war crimes if there's no war."
-Russian military tactics
Listen
Listen
Phyrexians singular goal is to win.
That's all that matters.
Wouldn't using hexgold be technically a war crime as it causes superfluous injury to most pherexians?