*Something important I forgot to mention is that I come from a background of alcoholism/addiction!! There was a lot that I left out of this video unfortunately but I still think y’all can find value in it. Anyways much love!
@Slayer-7373 Have you ever tried or considered EMDR therapy? I’ve been doing it now for over a year, and it has definitely helped me to heal from past trauma and control my anxiety. It’s helped me to understand why I continue to drink, and be more present in my emotions. It’s a proactive therapy that will 100% help. Hit me up if you need more information. You seem like a really good person, and you are worth it!
Keep the faith brother and stay strong don't let those demons temp and trick you again push them away! I was thinking about you today wondering how you did at Christmas time, well done my friend I'm proud of you I never gave up on you even when you relapsed. I hope and pray you stick with your sobriety journey take it day by day-step by step man. If you need me I'm here for you just like LD and Shades we have faith in you brother. Time for me to go remember STAY STRONG, STAY FOCUSED and NEVER GIVE IN. God Bless
I am a 27 year old female and my alcoholic story is almost identical to yours. I resonated with every single word. Getting sober again for like the millionth time. Wish you best of luck on your journey
Hey i wish you the best of luck as well on your journey, im sorry/glad you could relate. It shows us that we aren’t alone in all of our pain!! Much love to you, one day at a time. We will get to that destination we are searching for! 🙏
Hi Slayer! So glad you’re sober today. Family history of alcoholic members is definitely correlated in my opinion! Both my parents were alcoholics . My younger brother started at 13 when my parents gave him cigarettes and alcohol for “fun’. 😣😣 I had other plans like going to school. Nursing school and being a better person than them because there was a lot of mental and physical abuse. I was introverted and had low self esteem …The whole house would be torn upside down when my dad got mean and drunk. I did not want to be that way. I did have some alcohol and weed at age 19 but didn’t go over, and did not care for it. My father beat me til I was 21 when I left. Once I was in Nursing school I decided I did not want to be like my family . I really had the willpower and fear of becoming a nasty alcoholic like them. In school and work at the Hospital I was able to see the real first hand diseases that alcohol and smoking had. I’ve seen young men in their 30’s with cirrhosis and women too. My father lived to be 86 and did not die of liver disease. I have no idea how he got lucky but he got colorectal cancer as alcohol is now a Class 1 carcinogen. Being a RN I saw what it does to the body and family and vowed not to live that lifestyle. I struggle with PTSD depression and anxiety to this day bc of my childhood. It was horrific. Now I know you can do this. But it’s not simple. I believe a higher power and therapy and meetings and a sponsor will guide you Slayer . Stay strong and have faith and work the steps to sobriety! Love to you friend. You are a precious soul 💚💚💪🏻💪🏻🤟
I’m so sorry you went through those things 🙏🖤 you became an awesome person though. The damage alcohol does is mind blowing, it’s one of the strongest most dangerous drugs on this earth. Destroys family’s, ends friend ships. And yes on top of it it’s not good for any of us at all!!! Horrible for us physically and mentally. I’m gonna keep pushing forward, for you, myself and many others. Much love
Congrats on making it through Christmas without drinking! I was able to do the same and I’m proud of myself for it!! Great story so far, there are so many things I can relate to already! My 21st birthday was also a major turning point for me, and that’s when the wheels totally came off and shit got crazy! Can’t wait to hear the rest of the story! Peace Slayer! ❤
Hey David thanks my friend!!! You just reminded me of something I forgot to talk about which was my actual 21st bday party!! I guess that’s a video for another time. It never fails tho David we are all so much alike, we want to believe we are special but we are mostly the same hah. The disease effects us mostly the same, it’s crazy. Any ways proud of you for staying sober man, let’s keep going. One day at a time! God bless 🙏
I am very glad that you are sober, and I pray to god you stay that way, but I have to admit, I love listening to you talk about your drinking days. You are a great storyteller. Stay safe, Bro!
Hey thank you brotha!!! Also no worries man, I have stories for days haha. A decade of madness created quite a few of those. God bless man, you stay safe as well!! 🙏
It’s been 15 days for me and this is the longest I’ve gone without drinking. I was more of an IPA beer and clear alcohol type of drinker. I would drink anything to be honest but if I had money, it was those two choices daily. I feel great, hopeful and no desire to go back. One day at a time and I already feel great. Keep it up and thank you for sharing your story with the world. X
This is so very interesting. You speak so well. This is also very good for people who are caring for an alcoholic, gives insight into alcoholism from the alcoholic's perspective.
Btw thanks for sharing your story is so similar to mine I understand completely almost 2 weeks sober after my drinking wound me up in the psych ward this last go around. I'm taking my sobriety as serious as possible this time. The doctors told me I wouldn't make it to 30 if I keep on like I was. Thank you for being brave enough to post these stories here on UA-cam. Sending good vibes and prayers your way
Appreciate you my friend, glad you’re on this journey with me and out of that hell!! I share these with the hopes they help. Even if it just helps one person than mission accomplished. Much love 🙏
Great video slayer and proud of you for bouncing back brother it’s good to see you back in better spirits!!! Looking forward to the rest of the story keep it up buddy and hope you had a great Christmas and a sober happy new year my friend🙏🏾
Wow. slayer that’s quite a depiction of years and years of trying to numb the pain. We can’t run forever and I’m glad you’re pumping the brakes. You can do this and will do this!! This was a long chapter of your life but by no means does this define you as a person. I’m looking forward to part 2 and well to hear what the next chapter of your life looks like. It’s going to be beautiful my friend. Thank you for sharing as tough as it was to listen. Some parts did make me LOL as I know what those types of adventures can go left real quick. Anyways you’re a survivor. Much love always and peaceful thoughts. 💜 💜
🖤🙏thanks micru, cry’s, laughs, good times and bad times that’s what makes us human and that what I want to bring to this channel. Those things always get out of control, that’s booze for you. Always turns any situation worse !! Much love, I hope you’re doing well!!! 🖤
FOUR decades of crushing it😂...55 now... sober recently. Feels like I've come out of a deep, deep fog. To think that I willingly chose to live in that fog, for all of those years, is sobering in itself. No looking back now. Happy for you, that you recognized it and became proactive early. Stay strong!
Proud of you brother for putting that long dark life behind you!!! I hope to God I can get it now while I’m young, it would save me a lot of pain!! It really is one day at a time. Thank you, 🙏
I’ve just relapsed.. 7 days. I think this one will kill me like it did Dirk. It’s just the demon that doesn’t let.. I’m 64 and lost everything .. 2 wives and 5 children. Main thing is you stay sober. I’m finished . My Youngest son is your age - alcoholic and drug addiction. Take care buddy I don’t think I can recover from this one..Give my regards to LD.‘Silvo
Don’t give up on yourself. You still have a chance it this. We mess up but we can always redeem ourselves in this lifetime. People care when you least expect it. Open up that window and let yourself be vulnerable, forgive yourself. Be safe ❤
Hey man don’t say that!!! You’re not finished!! Get your a%% to the hospital right now man if that’s what it takes. Don’t let booze take you down!! You can recover from this one!!! Not to sound preachy but man you’re one of gods children. Jesus loves you, you’re here because you have a purpose. Don’t give up on yourself, we aren’t giving up on you and either is God!!! Call out to the lord silvo, do whatever it takes to pull yourself out of that abyss!! Be safe and keep me Updated 🙏🙏praying for you.
Thank you for taking the time to do this. It's highly relatable. I've been drinking since I was 15 and I'm 36 now. Your alcoholism definitely went from zero to 100 far faster than mine. However I can relate a lot to it. I was drinking before work and during work for most of my 30s. I started getting really bad. Was with my ex for 3 years she always swore she was going to leave me if I didn't sober up. I made a few stints of sobriety then would relapse and it would spiral and get worse and worse. I'd go on such bad benders I'd be manic depressive out of my mind laughing one minute, screaming and smashing a dining chair to pieces the next. Had the cops called on one of those benders. She was gonna call the ambulance because I was drinking and my body was rejecting it and I'd drink more, puke, drink more. Hiding booze all over the house and garage. Been in a fellowship for the last 10 months. Relapsed probably 8 or 9 times. Desperately want sobriety. Hoping this time I've got it. It's so fucking exhausting living like that. I have not enjoyed drinking since I was in my 20s. 18 days sober today. Taking it one day at a time. Thanks again for your story. New to your channel. Looking forward to part 2.
Your story hit home brother, our stories are very similar. The pain and the torment we not only put ourselves through but our loved ones for a bottle is wild. We are better than that, we and they deserve better than that. 18 days is incredible!! 💪 please keep marching forward. I’ll be there with ya doing the same thing. Message me any time bro, glad you’re here on the channel!! God bless.
Man, you have some of the craziest stories! I’m so glad you made it sober through Xmas. You look great btw, your facial hair is on point. Loving the longer hair too…the whole Johnny Depp look suits you.
Hey thanks my friend as always. Good to hear from you man. I never thought about Johnny depp till you said that 😂, that’s kind of accurate. One day at a time bro. 💯
Much Love and Respect Always Slayer!♥️ We All Love You. Stay Strong and Focused. You got this. You are a Warrior. Thumbs Up 👍 and Shared Out.. Let’s get your channel growing!!😊
9 days sober and this video was uploaded at a perfect time! My anxiety and pain has been getting the best of me today... I want to just drink so bad and shut my mind off with booze so bad... I'm not going to do it but boy is this poison good at trying to get me to drink it... Thanks Slayer!
9 days is awesome Ron!!! Keep going brotha!! I’m glad that this video could serve has sort of a light in a dark tunnel for you. Booze is definitely poison!! One day at a time man. Thank you 🙏
Slayer the Legend. The Phoenix who always rises 🐦🔥 Glad to hear from you and I’m so proud of you (as YOU should be proud of yourself). Thanks again for a wonderful upload. This helps all of us. Hope you had a nice holiday- and prayers for a strong and kickass 2025.
Good to see a video from you today!, I hope u had a great Christmas, and congrats on staying sober! It isn't easy, especially when others are all drinking in front of you. I chose not to go to a family party today, because well I know it isn't good for me to be in that situation. I also smoke camel crush, but plan to quit. I've got chantex.
I’m proud of you for making that decision for yourself. I know it’s not easy, but you absolutely did the best thing for yourself. Just keep going, you will get it. We will get it!! Cigarettes are tough, zyn helped me but just like anything else it becomes an addiction. Hope one day to be completely nicotine free but baby steps. God bless 🙏
Is anybody listenin'? Tell me, can you can see this darkness surrounding me? Nights gettin' colder, heavy on my shoulder And it's gettin' hard to breathe Vision's gettin' blurry, I'm gettin' worried 'Cause it's gettin' hard to see When you're livin' in the house of pain
Oh man... Slayer... this was rough ......it gave me chills bc I'm listening to parts of my own story, and I'm seeing my younger self in my younger, full-blown alcoholic mentality as you're describing your journey into and through alcoholism. Irrational, immature, and very sick...yes... you just want to keep the party going, and you don't want to look at anything that you're doing through a sober lense. Even more than trying to stave off my hangover with the next day's drinks, I just didn't want to look at myself and the nightmarish reality I had created for myself. Our thinking is so completely altered when our addiction is steering the wheel. I think back to the things I did and that I put myself through, and consequently had to live through, and it feels like psychosis. Some sort of crazy fever dream. My friend. I never want any of that ever again for any of us. We deserve so much better. I am so proud of you for all of the hard work you're putting in for yourself! Love yourself like you love your friends and family. Support yourself like you would them, and invest in yourself like you would them. Then watch your life take flight. Much love always, my friend! I'm so proud of your sobriety this holiday season!! Keep up the energy!! And never quit quitting ❤😊❤😊❤
Seeing that you can relate Amanda shows me I’m not alone, seeing that you came out the other side and are clearly shining gives me hope!!! I will get through this darkness once and for all, all of this will have meaning and purpose. It’s all leading to something great. It’s time for change and like you said self improvement and investment. You guys are always a help and have helped me on this journey more than any of you know. Just keep taking things slow, that’s the key!! Baby steps. Much love Amanda, thank you 🙏🙏
@Slayer-7373 of course, my friend. I'm so happy to be here for you!! Just know that you are young and you can turn this around! Do it now if you can. I just got my bloodwork back and it's not the worst, but there's some concerning bits to it. I'll be setting up an ultrasound and a consultation with a g I specialist. Even if all is well now, my friend, I'll be worrying about the repercussions of my actions forever. I love you, brother, and I believe in you!! I want a healthy future for you, and I believe you can have it ❤️
You look great and healthy.....I am still drinking and stuck with my health issues.... trying to get out but it's a mess...at this point I have tons of medical and stomach and colon problems....this whole thing is ruining my life😢
You will get out of that chaos Mary just don’t give up. Keep fighting, don’t let the booze win!! You can still turn some of this around I’m sure If you cut the booze out. Prayers to you 🙏
@ you know about deep eddy !!! No way lol!! I have a lot of good memories with deep eddy but the bad ones FAR out weigh it haha. Most people I’ve talked to don’t usually know what deep eddy is!! Anyways much love.
This is just what I needed to hear tonight! I told you I'd keep you updated. The funding has gone through for a detox/rehab. Should be soon. Mate I feel your pain. I'm 46. My alcohol journey was a bit slower, but still pretty brutal. I can't wait to be sober & join you on your own journey.
@@rogermasters2657dude you’re doing great!! Also you totally should make your own videos man!! I encourage anyone to do this and get awareness out about this crazy subject. I’d watch 💯
Impressive how quickly you bounce back. Mind still sharp and body healthy enough for now or you wouldn't be able to do that. The first few months of sobriety are not about cracking the daVinci code of your life. Anna Barram is close in age to you and offers honest insight on what her first year was like. At the end of the day anything goes as long as you find a way to go another day. Alcohol for me, for her and one day for you must simply be "OFF THE TABLE"
Thanks Richard 🙏!! Anna is awesome!! She’s doing amazing and I should look to her videos more often for help. Which I will moving forward!! Off the table you’re absolutely right… it just can’t be an option anymore
You’ve got to be the most honest person I’ve ever heard keep it up and enjoyed the video looking forward to part two it took lots of failures before my sobriety I’m glad I can share my journey with you and others just don’t give up God’s speed ✝️🙏🏽👆🏽🙌🏽👍🏽
Hey man, that’s a good thing to write out everything what happened. It puts things in perspective. Looking forward to hearing the next stories. God bless and keep up
I think a good question, and I've been asking myself that, is not why we start drinking, but why we don't stop drinking once we have started drinking. Normal drinkers, even hard drinkers, can just stop after a night of partying and passing put. But some of us just want to drink again upon waking up and never stop.
Exactly what Peter said man, we are the small % of people who are different. We are alcoholics once it hits our system we just can’t stop!! It’s a crazy thing and blows my mind, but it’s who we are.
dont forget criticalness of an alcoholic surrendering with another alcoholic in the right fellowship/own kinship. This constant reminder of your drinking alcohol always keeps as willing to change grow/stay humble/align stars/contribute to the world we screwed over ... Singleness or purpose - sole purpose- primary purpose PEACE MR
I made it through sober. Unfortunately I’ve just witnessed alcohol make my Nana homeless essentially… and it’s not because she drinks. She got tricked out of her house by her alcoholic son. Had to give EVERYTHING she had over 60 years away to me or my sister… She had to leave because the house she was living in was in my father’s name, he was an abusive alcoholic, mostly verbal but it started getting physical. Hence why she moved to British Columbia, MILES away from Ontario… My Aunt said she would take her in and let her stay forever. I just visited over the holidays and my Aunt ended up showing me her true colours. She’s an alcoholic. Drinks EVERYDAY after work and not just one or two. She also gets SUPER passive aggressive or just straight up nasty. Mind you my Nana will have maybe 1 or 2 gin and tonics like once or twice a week. But she is by no means an alcoholic. She can put it down, she isn’t using alcohol to hide from her problems. My Aunt on the other hand has a lot of pent up anger towards my Nana and it comes out really bad when she’s drunk (everyday). Now my Aunt’s said my Nana can no longer stay with her, making my nana homeless again, at 90 years of age. All because of alcohol… it is truly the most destructive drug I have ever seen in my entire life.
I’m sorry brother, I can relate in some ways with other family members. It’s a horrible disease, does not care who you are or what you have going for you. All across the world millions of us are affected by alcohol. Keep your head up my friend 🙏god bless
Well done and stay sober, your only 18 so you've still got nearly a whole life time ahead, you don't wanna waste your life with drinking, you've probably heard that before from loads of people but it's true. People used to say it to me and id just think that means I've got loads of time left but before you know it your middle aged with nothing to show for it, time just goes out the window and you realise you've failed at life
Thank you for posting this, this was so incredibly insightful, and you are a very eloquent speaker. I relate to 90% of your story, almost eerily so. Fuck alcohol!!!
Thanks brother 🙏, also yes there are millions of us out there. I love the awareness that some of these channels are bringing. It’s a very real and serious problem in our society.
Rudderless. It happens. Make the error correction and Learn your lesson. A bad job and marriage did it to me. I still take responsibility but thats the reality. Sober now and a rebirth. Shed my guilt and bulls/t. Got in the best physical condition pf my life at 62. Blessed by the best!!! Good luck sir. You can do it.
Your thirties will be interesting. I didn't get better till around 43. Good luck and dont give up. If you live, you'll eventually get better, but dont count on it. Have a nice day!
I definitely gotta stop brother. I don’t want to be battling this in my 30’s, I’d like to have a family in my 30’s but we will see where the road goes. Like you said no giving up, one day at a time. God bless 🙏
Thanks for the effort put into all your vids Slayer -- Your sincerity to contribute and support always rings true and is greatly appreciated. I pray for you and all who struggle. I will share something Deepak Chopra wrote which I never forgot. **Temptation is a Gift from the Universe that appears enabling Us to look around the Corner and consider consequences before we Act. **Temptation as a Gift is a game changer, no? You got this Bro ... and We got you.
I aint religious but I got into reading religious texts this year for the wisdom they have within them you've mentioned you're a christian just wanna share one of my favorite quotes from Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper" idk if thats the exact quote but its nice reminder that these addictions or "weapons" wont last no matter how tough it gets. The early part of your story is similar to me I used to have hella friends when I was 18 I was able to put on a mask and be cool with damn near everyone I had so much going for me but little did I know 4 years later that substances would completely take over this shit crazy now I only got like 3 friends left which im grateful for idk how they still mess with me and they have no idea the shit ive been up to or my addictions might have to talk to them about it idk im still embarrassed about it lmao. Everyones addicted to something we just gotta get addicted to something positive. Keep pushing
Love that scripture man, we can relate on a lot of stuff it seems like. Which is a common theme in recovery. We are all so much more alike than any of us want to realize. You’re super smart man, keep going and don’t give up. Like you said we just need to take our addiction and put it towards something positive and uplifting, instead of negativity and darkness. We will achieve it as long as we don’t give up!!! Much love brotha, be safe.
2025 I will begin Year 9 of zero alcohol. But at least once a week I wish I could drink 100 proof whiskey all day long. It never really goes away for me. Stays in your brain or something.
9 years is incredible!!!! 100 proof whiskey has been my drug of choice if you will. I’ve heard others with long term sobriety say the same thing, that it sticks with you in your bones. We never fully forget. Which I mean it makes sense, our brains know that feeling. That’s why a lot of us would probably go back and stop the first drink from ever happening so we never knew how it felt.
I think we should not expect to "deal with our problems" 100%. We should learn that the world is a difficult place and sometimes just endure pain. But some of us are perfectionists and any imperfections should be "numbed out".
So drunk one night...called to this dude out to fight ..i swing insane haymaker..he dodges it...hit me good!! in my eye...i actually started running because im so drunk i couldn't defend myself ...falling all over the place trying to run...
Stealing sub sandwiches from the gas station...when I had plenty of money 💰 to pay for..wad of money in my pocket...I just stole it... stupid ass shit ..the drunken chronicles...jcarm785
Got in a dumbass fight one night...my stupid ass shouldn't been hanging out with these crazy idiots...I get sucker punched ...dude cracked me....nose 👃 shot...I'm bleeding everywhere... ruined these new boots I'd just bought...leather jacket blood stained...I stumbled out the door..cops showed up ..asking me..who did this to you!! I didn't snitch.... drunken chronicles 785
So you wrecked a car drunk at 20 also! 😂🤦🏽♀️ I know you said you got caught somehow, but you didn’t get a DUI? My air bags went off and the ringing was crazy and my face hurt, and my car was totaled but somehow I managed to drive it like a mile down the road still to my parents house and you’ll never guess how I got caught😅 Thanks for sharing all this with us! It really does help people when they’re trying to get sober and hear all the horror stories that other people have and then knowing they made it/are making it out. God IS carrying you to the other side of this. He’s already provided freedom for those in Him, we just have to learn to believe it and walk in it. And it’s only by His grace that we make it day after day to get to the end of our destructive rope! And HECK YEAH ON THE SOBER NEW YEAR! I’m a little over two years sober but this will be my 4th holiday season sober thank God because I was LIT for so many. Almost all of them since I was 14. I’m 32, I got sober at 30. I have drank for literally half of my life. And I hate it but I’m also grateful. God literally takes what the enemy meant for evil and turns it for good. Anyway, looking forward to the next video! Love ya dood! 🫶🏽✝️ P.S. I keep seeing people telling you to cut your hair, but your hair is great. Lol obviously if you wanna do it,do it. But idk why there’s always this negative connotation around dudes having long hair (maybe the whole long hair don’t care thing?) but whatever. It suits you and you can be long haired you without the sinful life 🤷🏽♀️, that’s my unasked for 2 cents lol
It seems like we have a lot of odd similarities Shannon!! It’s pretty amazing, it’s also pretty scary!! Also the thanks is all yours!! I hope I’m helping people, even if it’s just one person. All things all possible through Christ so it’s definitely possible to break free from this awful disease. And yes!!! Sober new years!! 2 years is awesome Shannon, you completely clung to god which is what we all need to do and he set you free from these horrific chains of addiction. Keep giving it to him, you’re doing great. And thank you!! 🙏🙏 it would be super hard to cut it I won’t lie lol, but we will see!! I’ve had the thought about long haired guys in the Bible, but idk we will see. Much love 🙏🖤 god bless
@ I know, I noticed that lol it’s very interesting! And thank you!! I clung to Him through much trial and error and looking back, not as much dedication as I needed to, but it’s growing. You’re right about keeping on✝️🙏🏽❤️🔥 And you are helping, and I know we help you too! It’s a God given blessing, like a beautiful sturdy oak revolving door of help carved with the intricacy of all our experiences 🫶🏽
Strength, wisdom, hope and experience are all great but in all honesty you have to be ready, to want to be done. And even then it might not be enough. As long as ur alive that's all that matters though right? Cuz you can still fight?
You’re 100% right man, there has to be an actual want and desire to quit or it won’t ever work and yea i definitely brotha. As long as we are here we can fight, we only fail when we completely give up. As long as we keep fighting we never are failures. One day at a time man 💯
@ I’m “crawling in my skin” for the New Year to come and go. I thrive on a schedule… Knowing everybody is “off” makes me want to go get lost somewhere. lol!! The holiday stretch starts to bug me. Idk why I have no complaints, I’m sober & I am behind u always! That’s my silver lining today. Seeing u ♥️🎁🫶🏻🙏🏻
Hi Slayer, I'm on my second night without sleep. I dropped off without knowing it and my brain kicked me out my horrible dream. I'm so tired i don't know how long i can keep going without sleeping. Yesterday i had watery yellow diarrhea all day and i was shaking like a shitting dog. I was really cold too and shivering. I should've gone to the hospital but i decided to ride it out at home. I've had enough of this withdrawal, never again.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through that hell!! Have you considered again maybe going to the hospital instead of riding it out at home? Or at the very least going to see a doctor? I just want you to be safe. Alcohol withdrawal is awful!! “Never again” let’s both stick to those words. Be safe!! Keep me updated
@Slayer-7373 Thanks Slayer, I had a pre-arranged appointment with my doctor on the 9th January. If this goes on I might have seen him sooner if I can get in. I found some Acamprosate tablets that I didn't know I had so I've just taken 2 tablets. The NHS in England advises you start them as soon as you go into withdrawal so I'll see what they do. It's the vivid nightmares that start as soon as you nod off then wake again that I can do without. It's like my brain has put a lock on the door to enter into sleep until it feels better. Thanks Slayer🙏. I'll keep in touch fella.
@@Slayer-7373 Hi Slayer, it's early Monday morning 5:30 in Sheffield UK and my eyes were going and suddenly I'm in this nightmare getting dragged around by an invisible being and being thrown into walls. Then I woke up. Then my eyes started dropping again and I'm in this nightmare where I'm participating in group who are fighting with baseball bats and metal pipes while running at each other in a city centre. It was brutal and so was the music that accompanied it. I woke up again but this time felt a bit better. The brain is balancing the neurotransmitters GABA and glutamate in it's own strange way. It's not over yet, I reckon either tomorrow night or the night after another session in the nightmare house. I hate going through this but it's the only way to get my brain chemicals in balance again. From experience I know when it's all over cos I instantly feel at peace and usually sleep for 11 hours. I hope it's over soon because this is nature's torture
@@Slayer-7373 Hi Slayer, it's early Monday morning 5:30 in Sheffield UK and my eyes were going and suddenly I'm in this nightmare getting dragged around by an invisible being and being thrown into walls. Then I woke up. Then my eyes started dropping again and I'm in this nightmare where I'm participating in group who are fighting with baseball bats and metal pipes while running at each other in a city centre. It was brutal and so was the music that accompanied it. I woke up again but this time felt a bit better. The brain is balancing the neurotransmitters GABA and glutamate in it's own strange way. It's not over yet, I reckon either tomorrow night or the night after another session in the nightmare house. I hate going through this but it's the only way to get my brain chemicals in balance again. From experience I know when it's all over cos I instantly feel at peace and usually sleep for 11 hours. I hope it's over soon because this is nature's torture.
Absolutely man whatever alcohol it might be. When we are waking up and booze is our breakfast….. there’s a major problem. I use to think it was normal once upon a time…. Lack of education I think years ago. I really use to think booze wasn’t too bad for you. Insane!!! Happy new year brother 🙏
In healing & detachment from people I remember the past more. Recently I've realised, I've never been good at drinking mainly because I was always driving, so I never built up the metabolism for it. When my life would change (end of relationships, going on holidays, nights out etc) I would drink & in healing myself, I've thought about all these occasions. Drink has always made me crazy. There's not one occasion I can say there were *Absolutely no issues* . That being said... I then thought, I know I'm a good person (or thought I was) but I'm not as good as I thought I was... Now that I've thought about it 😶🌫️ That's what makes me see CLEAR on 'I fooled myself' and it's silly to think that I was never an issue. When in Actual fact, I was but only to be misguiding myself in what *I chose* to remember 😶🌫️
This is a powerful and true comment, I can relate in ways. We always think it’s making things better but it never does. Alcohol really isn’t the problem, it’s deeper than all of that. Much love 🙏 thank you for this comment.
@Slayer-7373 i thought you'd like that. This one will blow your mind.... I've noticed with me, that it's *stages of life* (there's a pattern) imagine *you were fine from* Ie (my pattern): first major relationship 20-25, after that the binges began for roughly 6months (real crazy drinking alone sad but also realised I couldn't cry on coke) & then got back into DJing & dating again but was still in love with ex (technically I was kinda still binging for the next 3yrs just not sad or alone) until a decent partner come along... So let's say, I was at 29 by then (not drinking much or anything for the next 7yrs) ... Then that ended & the biggest binge *HAD* to begin I've had the past 4yr of binges since then, until 2yrs ago I *sat down* & slowly figured out that : TO GET BACK TO MY ORIGINAL 19YR OLD SELF, People, social media, all things like that SHOULD GO slowly after you've done that backtracking of patterns Watch TV (normal free TV like when I was little) & spend time in the house doing things I would do as a kid. Put phone on silent or lose it on purpose Spend time with only the animals I have. Slowly, I've realised WHAT ACTUALLY IS MY PATTERN And it makes so much sense to suddenly see & feel like you've healed yourself through common knowledge I think if you do that, your be totally fine. I'm on 8 days but I never drunk often when I was 19 And I feel 19 again.... I remember so so much that I actually feel that mind again. And kids like us being sober adults are EXACTLY PERFECT because *WE ARE SUPPOSED TO NOT BE LIKE THEM* .... We're lucky it affects us badly because *we're not the kids that were supposed to grow up THAT WAY* WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO TOLERATE IT & THATS OUR GIFT IN THE LONG RUN 🫴🏽 YOUR GONNA HEAL OTHERS I CAN GUARANTEE 🫶🏼
Love you bro, you’ve helped me so much. I’m an Olympic track athlete all came crashing down, I know your ex was beautiful/ mine was literally Sara sapmisio (which is a super model) bro forget your ex. I hate when you talk about her, and if you wanna talk about her okay, but in private. She’s viewing this shit, and taking satisfaction in your pain.
@ woah man, I bet you have a HECK of a story. Love ya too man, you’re right though. After this video and maybe some in part 2 I won’t be bringing her up anymore. No need to bring up past things. If she has seen these videos it would blow my mind. I don’t know if she would ever say a word if she did, or how she might feel. It’s like they say we gotta take the trash out right man and leave it there. God bless bro, one day at a time
I deeply believe that a lot of your urges to drink come from your anger towards your brother. One of the hardest things in the world to do is letting grudges go that drag us down into oblivion. I know what it's like to harbor hatred for others. My cousin who I've been very close friends with literally since birth, she's like a sister to me. She has been repeatedly sexualy abused, raped by An old boyfriend and sexualy assaulted by her own stepsister. Every muscle in my body wants harm and revenge to come to these people, however in reality at this point she's safe and the only person that is being harmed at this point is me through the emotional distress it brings me. The only thing to do is to move on and let is rest, of course this is very very hard and feels nearly impossible, but it's something that I have done for myself, not letting these evil people ruin my life as well. All being said my point is your anger towards your brother only drags you down and I am a living example that it's possible to let a grudge go. Great job staying sober you are loved by the hundreds of people in this community including myself, never forget how much you do have❤
You are 100% right, I’m gonna screenshot this comment to remind myself of the truth!! To keep my mind straight, forgiving in the end heals us, like you said the anger and resentment only drags us down. Much love bro and god bless. Hope you’re doing well my friend 🙏
*Something important I forgot to mention is that I come from a background of alcoholism/addiction!!
There was a lot that I left out of this video unfortunately but I still think y’all can find value in it.
Anyways much love!
❤❤❤❤❤
Plenty of material for the future! lol
@@vinnievintage7725exactly haha. Much love brotha!
Thank you for being honest…..
@Slayer-7373 Have you ever tried or considered EMDR therapy? I’ve been doing it now for over a year, and it has definitely helped me to heal from past trauma and control my anxiety. It’s helped me to understand why I continue to drink, and be more present in my emotions. It’s a proactive therapy that will 100% help. Hit me up if you need more information. You seem like a really good person, and you are worth it!
You sound so full of clarity, I love it. !!! You were great at drinking now be great at sober !!!
Thanks Theresa!! That’s the exact attitude I need to have!!
Keep the faith brother and stay strong don't let those demons temp and trick you again push them away! I was thinking about you today wondering how you did at Christmas time, well done my friend I'm proud of you I never gave up on you even when you relapsed. I hope and pray you stick with your sobriety journey take it day by day-step by step man. If you need me I'm here for you just like LD and Shades we have faith in you brother. Time for me to go remember STAY STRONG, STAY FOCUSED and NEVER GIVE IN. God Bless
Amen brother!!! Awesome uplifting comment man thank you 🙏!!!
God bless you my friend! One day at a time.
*_"I feel like I forgot what it felt like to be sober"_*
I think that has to be the best description of alcoholism I've ever heard.
🖤💯it’s true.
Much love after hours, hope you’re doing well my friend.
I am a 27 year old female and my alcoholic story is almost identical to yours. I resonated with every single word. Getting sober again for like the millionth time. Wish you best of luck on your journey
Hey i wish you the best of luck as well on your journey, im sorry/glad you could relate. It shows us that we aren’t alone in all of our pain!! Much love to you, one day at a time. We will get to that destination we are searching for! 🙏
Every day you stay sober your winning a battle most people never even start 💪 ❤
Absolutely 💯🙏
Glad to hear your still strong brother! 👏👍
Thank you brotha!! 💯👏 always good to see you here.
All facts!!!! Great video as always bro!! Peace and love 💯💪🙏😎
God bless bro!! Thank you 🙏
Hi Slayer! So glad you’re sober today. Family history of alcoholic members is definitely correlated in my opinion! Both my parents were alcoholics . My younger brother started at 13 when my parents gave him cigarettes and alcohol for “fun’. 😣😣 I had other plans like going to school. Nursing school and being a better person than them because there was a lot of mental and physical abuse. I was introverted and had low self esteem …The whole house would be torn upside down when my dad got mean and drunk. I did not want to be that way. I did have some alcohol and weed at age 19 but didn’t go over, and did not care for it. My father beat me til I was 21 when I left. Once I was in Nursing school I decided I did not want to be like my family . I really had the willpower and fear of becoming a nasty alcoholic like them. In school and work at the Hospital I was able to see the real first hand diseases that alcohol and smoking had. I’ve seen young men in their 30’s with cirrhosis and women too. My father lived to be 86 and did not die of liver disease. I have no idea how he got lucky but he got colorectal cancer as alcohol is now a Class 1 carcinogen. Being a RN I saw what it does to the body and family and vowed not to live that lifestyle. I struggle with PTSD depression and anxiety to this day bc of my childhood. It was horrific. Now I know you can do this. But it’s not simple. I believe a higher power and therapy and meetings and a sponsor will guide you Slayer . Stay strong and have faith and work the steps to sobriety! Love to you friend. You are a precious soul 💚💚💪🏻💪🏻🤟
I’m so sorry you went through those things 🙏🖤 you became an awesome person though. The damage alcohol does is mind blowing, it’s one of the strongest most dangerous drugs on this earth. Destroys family’s, ends friend ships. And yes on top of it it’s not good for any of us at all!!! Horrible for us physically and mentally. I’m gonna keep pushing forward, for you, myself and many others. Much love
Congrats on making it through Christmas without drinking! I was able to do the same and I’m proud of myself for it!! Great story so far, there are so many things I can relate to already! My 21st birthday was also a major turning point for me, and that’s when the wheels totally came off and shit got crazy! Can’t wait to hear the rest of the story! Peace Slayer! ❤
Hey David thanks my friend!!! You just reminded me of something I forgot to talk about which was my actual 21st bday party!! I guess that’s a video for another time. It never fails tho David we are all so much alike, we want to believe we are special but we are mostly the same hah. The disease effects us mostly the same, it’s crazy. Any ways proud of you for staying sober man, let’s keep going. One day at a time! God bless 🙏
I am very glad that you are sober, and I pray to god you stay that way, but I have to admit, I love listening to you talk about your drinking days. You are a great storyteller. Stay safe, Bro!
Hey thank you brotha!!! Also no worries man, I have stories for days haha. A decade of madness created quite a few of those.
God bless man, you stay safe as well!! 🙏
It’s been 15 days for me and this is the longest I’ve gone without drinking. I was more of an IPA beer and clear alcohol type of drinker. I would drink anything to be honest but if I had money, it was those two choices daily. I feel great, hopeful and no desire to go back. One day at a time and I already feel great. Keep it up and thank you for sharing your story with the world. X
15 days is awesome!!! 👏👏congratulations!! Thank you for the kind words and sharing. One day at a time!! 🙏
I’m glad you staying strong bro because we all struggle with things in our Life.
Thanks brotha and absolutely man. Life is ups and downs, all part of the process. God bless
Thank you for sharing your pain.. im thinking of making some vids about alcoholism experiences too
Thank you brother!!! You totally should man! I’ll subscribe now. God bless
Please keep sharing videos, I know you can do this!! You're helping so many people, too, not sure if you realize! 💜💛
🖤🙏 thanks stepha!! I hope so and I will!
This is so very interesting. You speak so well. This is also very good for people who are caring for an alcoholic, gives insight into alcoholism from the alcoholic's perspective.
Awesome to hear Mandy :), I love reading comments like these. This is exactly why I make videos 🙏
Good to hear from you brother. Thanks for this video.
Good to hear from you as well Bryan!! Much love brotha! 🙏
Btw thanks for sharing your story is so similar to mine I understand completely almost 2 weeks sober after my drinking wound me up in the psych ward this last go around. I'm taking my sobriety as serious as possible this time. The doctors told me I wouldn't make it to 30 if I keep on like I was. Thank you for being brave enough to post these stories here on UA-cam. Sending good vibes and prayers your way
Appreciate you my friend, glad you’re on this journey with me and out of that hell!! I share these with the hopes they help. Even if it just helps one person than mission accomplished.
Much love 🙏
God bless 🙏
Much love homie 15 days sober after 20 years in the rooms.
Proud of you man, this is awesome 🙏 keep goin.
the fact that you've still shown your face after all of your mistakes speaks volumes!
:) 🙏thank you.
Sobriety is the ultimate cheat code to life, it unlocks all levels.
Love this. 💯💯
hey man, even though we never have met. I’ve watched so many videos I feel like your friend. Please keep uploading :)
:) hey thank you, my friend. 🙏
Good for you man. Keep up the good work! I had two relapes on mine.
Thanks shades!!! “The wise man falls 7 times and still gets up!!!” One day at a time man.
I believe in you, brother! Keep up the awesome work man!
Appreciate you man, thank you. 🙏
Great video slayer and proud of you for bouncing back brother it’s good to see you back in better spirits!!! Looking forward to the rest of the story keep it up buddy and hope you had a great Christmas and a sober happy new year my friend🙏🏾
Thanks so much brother 🙏 god bless
Wow. slayer that’s quite a depiction of years and years of trying to numb the pain. We can’t run forever and I’m glad you’re pumping the brakes. You can do this and will do this!! This was a long chapter of your life but by no means does this define you as a person.
I’m looking forward to part 2 and well to hear what the next chapter of your life looks like. It’s going to be beautiful my friend. Thank you for sharing as tough as it was to listen. Some parts did make me LOL as I know what those types of adventures can go left real quick. Anyways you’re a survivor. Much love always and peaceful thoughts. 💜 💜
🖤🙏thanks micru, cry’s, laughs, good times and bad times that’s what makes us human and that what I want to bring to this channel. Those things always get out of control, that’s booze for you. Always turns any situation worse !!
Much love, I hope you’re doing well!!! 🖤
Thank you for sharing some of your wild story slayer, stay sober buddy we are here for u
Thank you Jeff as always brotha!! 💯
FOUR decades of crushing it😂...55 now... sober recently. Feels like I've come out of a deep, deep fog. To think that I willingly chose to live in that fog, for all of those years, is sobering in itself. No looking back now.
Happy for you, that you recognized it and became proactive early. Stay strong!
Proud of you brother for putting that long dark life behind you!!! I hope to God I can get it now while I’m young, it would save me a lot of pain!! It really is one day at a time. Thank you, 🙏
@@Slayer-7373You can do it. You will do it!
Such a revealing testimonial of a decade of pain. You're worth never going back again, Slayer!! Peace man !!
Thanks so much Craig!!! 🙏🙏
I’ve just relapsed.. 7 days. I think this one will kill me like it did Dirk. It’s just the demon that doesn’t let.. I’m 64 and lost everything .. 2 wives and 5 children. Main thing is you stay sober. I’m finished . My Youngest son is your age - alcoholic and drug addiction. Take care buddy I don’t think I can recover from this one..Give my regards to LD.‘Silvo
Don’t give up on yourself. You still have a chance it this. We mess up but we can always redeem ourselves in this lifetime. People care when you least expect it. Open up that window and let yourself be vulnerable, forgive yourself. Be safe ❤
Hey man don’t say that!!! You’re not finished!! Get your a%% to the hospital right now man if that’s what it takes. Don’t let booze take you down!! You can recover from this one!!! Not to sound preachy but man you’re one of gods children. Jesus loves you, you’re here because you have a purpose. Don’t give up on yourself, we aren’t giving up on you and either is God!!! Call out to the lord silvo, do whatever it takes to pull yourself out of that abyss!! Be safe and keep me
Updated 🙏🙏praying for you.
How you doin brother?
I decided to do dry January I'm gonna document my journey for my new years resolution.
This is what’s up bro!!! 💪 keep me
Updated man.
@@Slayer-7373 for sure bro
Thank you for taking the time to do this. It's highly relatable. I've been drinking since I was 15 and I'm 36 now. Your alcoholism definitely went from zero to 100 far faster than mine. However I can relate a lot to it. I was drinking before work and during work for most of my 30s. I started getting really bad. Was with my ex for 3 years she always swore she was going to leave me if I didn't sober up. I made a few stints of sobriety then would relapse and it would spiral and get worse and worse. I'd go on such bad benders I'd be manic depressive out of my mind laughing one minute, screaming and smashing a dining chair to pieces the next. Had the cops called on one of those benders. She was gonna call the ambulance because I was drinking and my body was rejecting it and I'd drink more, puke, drink more. Hiding booze all over the house and garage. Been in a fellowship for the last 10 months. Relapsed probably 8 or 9 times. Desperately want sobriety. Hoping this time I've got it. It's so fucking exhausting living like that. I have not enjoyed drinking since I was in my 20s. 18 days sober today. Taking it one day at a time. Thanks again for your story. New to your channel. Looking forward to part 2.
I am 57. I drank from 1987-2021. Rock bottoms won't look the same for each of us. What matters most is that we know them when we see them.
@@RICHARDOCONNOR-s2jThat’s a Fact!💯💞
Your story hit home brother, our stories are very similar. The pain and the torment we not only put ourselves through but our loved ones for a bottle is wild. We are better than that, we and they deserve better than that. 18 days is incredible!! 💪 please keep marching forward. I’ll be there with ya doing the same thing. Message me any time bro, glad you’re here on the channel!! God bless.
Good to see you Slayer.......yes, keep moving forward, we appreciate the time you make for all of us, all the best 🙏🙏
Appreciate you hunnie b, thank you 🙏🖤
@@Slayer-7373 🙏
Stay strong brother! 🙏❤️
Doing my best man, one day at a time 🙏
awesome to see you slayer love you man
Good to see you too brotha!! 🙏
Man, you have some of the craziest stories! I’m so glad you made it sober through Xmas. You look great btw, your facial hair is on point. Loving the longer hair too…the whole Johnny Depp look suits you.
Hey thanks my friend as always. Good to hear from you man. I never thought about Johnny depp till you said that 😂, that’s kind of accurate.
One day at a time bro. 💯
Thanks for uploading man always good to hear you talk, happy holidays
Thank you for watching Rebecca!! Happy holidays!! 🙏
Heartbreaking story❤
🖤thank you for watching.
Soooooo super proud of you!!!!!!!!!
Thank you 🙏🙏!! Did you ever end up emailing me? Much love.
Not yet but I will today!
Much Love and Respect Always Slayer!♥️ We All Love You. Stay Strong and Focused. You got this. You are a Warrior.
Thumbs Up 👍 and Shared Out.. Let’s get your channel growing!!😊
Thank you Cindy :) 🙏 much love
Thank you for this video Slayer. I know it will help many people.
Take care, never give up. 🙏
God bless and thank you Debbie for watching and supporting 🙏
9 days sober and this video was uploaded at a perfect time! My anxiety and pain has been getting the best of me today... I want to just drink so bad and shut my mind off with booze so bad... I'm not going to do it but boy is this poison good at trying to get me to drink it... Thanks Slayer!
9 days is awesome Ron!!! Keep going brotha!! I’m glad that this video could serve has sort of a light in a dark tunnel for you. Booze is definitely poison!! One day at a time man. Thank you 🙏
@ appreciate you bro!
Slayer the Legend. The Phoenix who always rises 🐦🔥
Glad to hear from you and I’m so proud of you (as YOU should be proud of yourself).
Thanks again for a wonderful upload. This helps all of us. Hope you had a nice holiday- and prayers for a strong and kickass 2025.
My brother, thank you for always being awesome and leaning awesome comments. God bless man, hope you had an awesome holiday as well. 🙏🙏
I'm glad you're sober again. Congrats on your hard work. 🏆🔥
Thank you my friend! 🙏
Trying to fight this withdrawal (still drinking a brew)...gonna binge watch your videos
Be careful my friend 🙏
Good to see a video from you today!, I hope u had a great Christmas, and congrats on staying sober! It isn't easy, especially when others are all drinking in front of you. I chose not to go to a family party today, because well I know it isn't good for me to be in that situation. I also smoke camel crush, but plan to quit. I've got chantex.
I’m proud of you for making that decision for yourself. I know it’s not easy, but you absolutely did the best thing for yourself. Just keep going, you will get it. We will get it!! Cigarettes are tough, zyn helped me but just like anything else it becomes an addiction. Hope one day to be completely nicotine free but baby steps. God bless 🙏
Is anybody listenin'?
Tell me, can you can see this darkness surrounding me?
Nights gettin' colder, heavy on my shoulder
And it's gettin' hard to breathe
Vision's gettin' blurry, I'm gettin' worried
'Cause it's gettin' hard to see
When you're livin' in the house of pain
🎶 💯💪
One time ..me and my friends just chilling...i just jumped up on trunk.. whole back window shattered...
Oh man... Slayer... this was rough ......it gave me chills bc I'm listening to parts of my own story, and I'm seeing my younger self in my younger, full-blown alcoholic mentality as you're describing your journey into and through alcoholism. Irrational, immature, and very sick...yes... you just want to keep the party going, and you don't want to look at anything that you're doing through a sober lense. Even more than trying to stave off my hangover with the next day's drinks, I just didn't want to look at myself and the nightmarish reality I had created for myself. Our thinking is so completely altered when our addiction is steering the wheel. I think back to the things I did and that I put myself through, and consequently had to live through, and it feels like psychosis. Some sort of crazy fever dream. My friend. I never want any of that ever again for any of us. We deserve so much better. I am so proud of you for all of the hard work you're putting in for yourself! Love yourself like you love your friends and family. Support yourself like you would them, and invest in yourself like you would them. Then watch your life take flight. Much love always, my friend! I'm so proud of your sobriety this holiday season!! Keep up the energy!! And never quit quitting ❤😊❤😊❤
Seeing that you can relate Amanda shows me I’m not alone, seeing that you came out the other side and are clearly shining gives me hope!!! I will get through this darkness once and for all, all of this will have meaning and purpose. It’s all leading to something great.
It’s time for change and like you said self improvement and investment. You guys are always a help and have helped me on this journey more than any of you know. Just keep taking things slow, that’s the key!! Baby steps.
Much love Amanda, thank you 🙏🙏
🖤
@Slayer-7373 of course, my friend. I'm so happy to be here for you!! Just know that you are young and you can turn this around! Do it now if you can. I just got my bloodwork back and it's not the worst, but there's some concerning bits to it. I'll be setting up an ultrasound and a consultation with a g I specialist. Even if all is well now, my friend, I'll be worrying about the repercussions of my actions forever. I love you, brother, and I believe in you!! I want a healthy future for you, and I believe you can have it ❤️
You look great and healthy.....I am still drinking and stuck with my health issues.... trying to get out but it's a mess...at this point I have tons of medical and stomach and colon problems....this whole thing is ruining my life😢
You will get out of that chaos Mary just don’t give up. Keep fighting, don’t let the booze win!! You can still turn some of this around I’m sure If you cut the booze out. Prayers to you 🙏
Thank you ❤ did you receive the email that I sent
@ I don’t think I did Mary!!! Maybe try to send it again?
Thank you, Slayer. I enjoy the stories
Thank you Olivia :)!! I’m glad you’re enjoying these stories, I hope you can gain some value from them.
@Slayer-7373 definitely. I have also seen some bad things happen when Deep Eddy was around😱
@ you know about deep eddy !!! No way lol!! I have a lot of good memories with deep eddy but the bad ones FAR out weigh it haha. Most people I’ve talked to don’t usually know what deep eddy is!! Anyways much love.
@Slayer-7373 yeah I liked that their flavored vodkas didn't taste fake and cheap. But the bad memories are with the lemon flavored one😬😐
@ that’s where all
The bad memories for us are too 😆😳, it was always the lemon one!! Weird right?
Watched the entire video. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for watching, i appreciate that 🙏
This is just what I needed to hear tonight! I told you I'd keep you updated. The funding has gone through for a detox/rehab. Should be soon.
Mate I feel your pain. I'm 46. My alcohol journey was a bit slower, but still pretty brutal. I can't wait to be sober & join you on your own journey.
This is awesome news roger!!!! Right on brotha I’m proud of you. One day you will be sober soon man, you’re already on the Johnny! 🙏 much love
@Slayer-7373 I've cut down. I don't day drink. But I feel pretty low to be honest. I'm going to an evening meeting tomorrow anyway.
@@Slayer-7373 maybe I'll make my own video's one day. I have quite the story to tell.
@@rogermasters2657dude you’re doing great!! Also you totally should make your own videos man!! I encourage anyone to do this and get awareness out about this crazy subject. I’d watch 💯
Impressive how quickly you bounce back. Mind still sharp and body healthy enough for now or you wouldn't be able to do that. The first few months of sobriety are not about cracking the daVinci code of your life. Anna Barram is close in age to you and offers honest insight on what her first year was like. At the end of the day anything goes as long as you find a way to go another day. Alcohol for me, for her and one day for you must simply be "OFF THE TABLE"
Thanks Richard 🙏!! Anna is awesome!! She’s doing amazing and I should look to her videos more often for help. Which I will moving forward!! Off the table you’re absolutely right… it just can’t be an option anymore
You’ve got to be the most honest person I’ve ever heard keep it up and enjoyed the video looking forward to part two it took lots of failures before my sobriety I’m glad I can share my journey with you and others just don’t give up God’s speed ✝️🙏🏽👆🏽🙌🏽👍🏽
God bless you 🖤🙏 thank you.
Hey man, that’s a good thing to write out everything what happened. It puts things in perspective. Looking forward to hearing the next stories. God bless and keep up
I do think it’s something good to do brotha, thank you as always smitty. Appreciate you my friend, god bless 🙏
Man, you are very articulate. Seriously. You still got mad brain cells. You can do so much, Slayer, and we all believe in you.
This is really nice of you to say, thank you 🙏🖤
glad to see you well slayer
Thank you bro. 🙏
Great video
Thank you brother!!! I hope you’re doing well man. God bless
Good to see you Slayer! Congrats on your weeks sober!
@@cjyou5606 thanks CJ, good to see you as well. 🙏
Slayer you look good .. 😊 great to see you back, and thinking positive thoughts. Prayers to you… ❤❤
Thank you Jackie!! 🙏🖤
I think a good question, and I've been asking myself that, is not why we start drinking, but why we don't stop drinking once we have started drinking. Normal drinkers, even hard drinkers, can just stop after a night of partying and passing put. But some of us just want to drink again upon waking up and never stop.
The answer to your question is that we are alcoholics. We can’t stop once we have started. The reasons are (at least partly) genetic.
Exactly what Peter said man, we are the small % of people who are different. We are alcoholics once it hits our system we just can’t stop!! It’s a crazy thing and blows my mind, but it’s who we are.
Sober new years club
👏heck yea man!
I dont see it as sober cause alcohol is not a drug it's a poison
dont forget criticalness of an alcoholic surrendering with another alcoholic in the right fellowship/own kinship. This constant reminder of your drinking alcohol always keeps as willing to change grow/stay humble/align stars/contribute to the world we screwed over ... Singleness or purpose - sole purpose- primary purpose PEACE MR
Exactly!! Peace and love 🙏
I made it through sober. Unfortunately I’ve just witnessed alcohol make my Nana homeless essentially… and it’s not because she drinks. She got tricked out of her house by her alcoholic son. Had to give EVERYTHING she had over 60 years away to me or my sister… She had to leave because the house she was living in was in my father’s name, he was an abusive alcoholic, mostly verbal but it started getting physical. Hence why she moved to British Columbia, MILES away from Ontario… My Aunt said she would take her in and let her stay forever. I just visited over the holidays and my Aunt ended up showing me her true colours. She’s an alcoholic. Drinks EVERYDAY after work and not just one or two. She also gets SUPER passive aggressive or just straight up nasty. Mind you my Nana will have maybe 1 or 2 gin and tonics like once or twice a week. But she is by no means an alcoholic. She can put it down, she isn’t using alcohol to hide from her problems. My Aunt on the other hand has a lot of pent up anger towards my Nana and it comes out really bad when she’s drunk (everyday). Now my Aunt’s said my Nana can no longer stay with her, making my nana homeless again, at 90 years of age. All because of alcohol… it is truly the most destructive drug I have ever seen in my entire life.
I’m sorry brother, I can relate in some ways with other family members. It’s a horrible disease, does not care who you are or what you have going for you. All across the world millions of us are affected by alcohol.
Keep your head up my friend 🙏god bless
Yup all sense goes out the window. And it's not like we don't know it. That's the worst part.
Exactly Janet!! Every single time.
Truth
Well done and stay sober, your only 18 so you've still got nearly a whole life time ahead, you don't wanna waste your life with drinking, you've probably heard that before from loads of people but it's true. People used to say it to me and id just think that means I've got loads of time left but before you know it your middle aged with nothing to show for it, time just goes out the window and you realise you've failed at life
🖤🙏much love and thank you
Thank you for posting this, this was so incredibly insightful, and you are a very eloquent speaker. I relate to 90% of your story, almost eerily so. Fuck alcohol!!!
Glad you could relate and enjoyed the video brother. One day at a time 🙏 and I agree F alcohol!!
Always love your videos. Society ostracizes alcoholics but we do exist
Thanks brother 🙏, also yes there are millions of us out there. I love the awareness that some of these channels are bringing. It’s a very real and serious problem in our society.
Nice to see you bounce back bro. Much love ✝️
Much love, god bless 🙏
Rudderless. It happens. Make the error correction and
Learn your lesson. A bad job and marriage did it to me. I still take responsibility but thats the reality. Sober now and a rebirth. Shed my guilt and bulls/t. Got in the best physical condition pf my life at 62. Blessed by the best!!! Good luck sir. You can do it.
Appreciate you brother thank you!!! One day at a time my friend!! 🙏🙏
I relapsed recently. My neighbor asked me if I wanted a beer. I said no. He put one in my hand anyway.
Sometimes that’s all it takes… I know the feeling. 🙏
Your thirties will be interesting. I didn't get better till around 43. Good luck and dont give up. If you live, you'll eventually get better, but dont count on it. Have a nice day!
I definitely gotta stop brother. I don’t want to be battling this in my 30’s, I’d like to have a family in my 30’s but we will see where the road goes. Like you said no giving up, one day at a time. God bless 🙏
Waiting for part 2!
Thanks Angela!! Good to hear :) 🙏
❤
@@starbright1256 🖤🙏
Thanks for the effort put into all your vids Slayer -- Your sincerity to contribute and support always rings true and is greatly appreciated. I pray for you and all who struggle. I will share something Deepak Chopra wrote which I never forgot. **Temptation is a Gift from the Universe that appears enabling Us to look around the Corner and consider consequences before we Act. **Temptation as a Gift is a game changer, no? You got this Bro ... and We got you.
🖤🙏💯💪appreciate you!!!!
And I like that 💯💯💯
Jayz....coming of age
💯💯
Lookin' and sounding better brother! 🙏
Thank you brotha!! God bless 🙏
God bless you to my dude! 🙏 Keep going strong!@@Slayer-7373
I aint religious but I got into reading religious texts this year for the wisdom they have within them you've mentioned you're a christian just wanna share one of my favorite quotes from Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against me shall prosper" idk if thats the exact quote but its nice reminder that these addictions or "weapons" wont last no matter how tough it gets. The early part of your story is similar to me I used to have hella friends when I was 18 I was able to put on a mask and be cool with damn near everyone I had so much going for me but little did I know 4 years later that substances would completely take over this shit crazy now I only got like 3 friends left which im grateful for idk how they still mess with me and they have no idea the shit ive been up to or my addictions might have to talk to them about it idk im still embarrassed about it lmao. Everyones addicted to something we just gotta get addicted to something positive. Keep pushing
Love that scripture man, we can relate on a lot of stuff it seems like. Which is a common theme in recovery. We are all so much more alike than any of us want to realize. You’re super smart man, keep going and don’t give up. Like you said we just need to take our addiction and put it towards something positive and uplifting, instead of negativity and darkness. We will achieve it as long as we don’t give up!!! Much love brotha, be safe.
I'm going California sober!
💯👏nice!!
Luv u bro , proud of u man
Much love and thanks to you brother!! 🙏🙏
Hi 😊 You are looking and sounding good..lovely to see you ❤Xxx
Thanks mittens 🙏:)
2025 I will begin Year 9 of zero alcohol. But at least once a week I wish I could drink 100 proof whiskey all day long. It never really goes away for me. Stays in your brain or something.
9 years is incredible!!!! 100 proof whiskey has been my drug of choice if you will. I’ve heard others with long term sobriety say the same thing, that it sticks with you in your bones. We never fully forget. Which I mean it makes sense, our brains know that feeling. That’s why a lot of us would probably go back and stop the first drink from ever happening so we never knew how it felt.
Thankful you’re doing well Slayer! Keep on Keeping on in Jesus Name Amen 🙏
Amen 🙏!! Thank you Laura :)
I think we should not expect to "deal with our problems" 100%. We should learn that the world is a difficult place and sometimes just endure pain. But some of us are perfectionists and any imperfections should be "numbed out".
I can relate to this Eric! I know what you mean brotha. 🙏
Fascinating slayer. You tell a good story. You seem smart. Are your brothers and family members clever?
@@Redsnapper123 hey thanks brotha as always!!! Also they are sometimes 😂, not as much as me though ;). God bless
Slay I want your hoodie ❤
It’s warm Kristen!! 🙏
@@Slayer-7373 honest it looks cumphy
I adore you ❤as you know much love
🖤much love seg!! Hope you’re well :)
So drunk one night...called to this dude out to fight ..i swing insane haymaker..he dodges it...hit me good!! in my eye...i actually started running because im so drunk i couldn't defend myself ...falling all over the place trying to run...
Stealing sub sandwiches from the gas station...when I had plenty of money 💰 to pay for..wad of money in my pocket...I just stole it... stupid ass shit ..the drunken chronicles...jcarm785
Got in a dumbass fight one night...my stupid ass shouldn't been hanging out with these crazy idiots...I get sucker punched ...dude cracked me....nose 👃 shot...I'm bleeding everywhere... ruined these new boots I'd just bought...leather jacket blood stained...I stumbled out the door..cops showed up ..asking me..who did this to you!! I didn't snitch.... drunken chronicles 785
Hi Slayer
What’s up man!! 🙏god bless
So you wrecked a car drunk at 20 also! 😂🤦🏽♀️ I know you said you got caught somehow, but you didn’t get a DUI? My air bags went off and the ringing was crazy and my face hurt, and my car was totaled but somehow I managed to drive it like a mile down the road still to my parents house and you’ll never guess how I got caught😅
Thanks for sharing all this with us! It really does help people when they’re trying to get sober and hear all the horror stories that other people have and then knowing they made it/are making it out. God IS carrying you to the other side of this. He’s already provided freedom for those in Him, we just have to learn to believe it and walk in it. And it’s only by His grace that we make it day after day to get to the end of our destructive rope!
And HECK YEAH ON THE SOBER NEW YEAR! I’m a little over two years sober but this will be my 4th holiday season sober thank God because I was LIT for so many. Almost all of them since I was 14. I’m 32, I got sober at 30. I have drank for literally half of my life. And I hate it but I’m also grateful. God literally takes what the enemy meant for evil and turns it for good. Anyway, looking forward to the next video! Love ya dood! 🫶🏽✝️
P.S. I keep seeing people telling you to cut your hair, but your hair is great. Lol obviously if you wanna do it,do it. But idk why there’s always this negative connotation around dudes having long hair (maybe the whole long hair don’t care thing?) but whatever. It suits you and you can be long haired you without the sinful life 🤷🏽♀️, that’s my unasked for 2 cents lol
It seems like we have a lot of odd similarities Shannon!! It’s pretty amazing, it’s also pretty scary!! Also the thanks is all yours!! I hope I’m helping people, even if it’s just one person. All things all possible through Christ so it’s definitely possible to break free from this awful disease.
And yes!!! Sober new years!! 2 years is awesome Shannon, you completely clung to god which is what we all need to do and he set you free from these horrific chains of addiction. Keep giving it to him, you’re doing great.
And thank you!! 🙏🙏 it would be super hard to cut it I won’t lie lol, but we will see!! I’ve had the thought about long haired guys in the Bible, but idk we will see.
Much love 🙏🖤 god bless
@ I know, I noticed that lol it’s very interesting!
And thank you!! I clung to Him through much trial and error and looking back, not as much dedication as I needed to, but it’s growing. You’re right about keeping on✝️🙏🏽❤️🔥
And you are helping, and I know we help you too! It’s a God given blessing, like a beautiful sturdy oak revolving door of help carved with the intricacy of all our experiences 🫶🏽
Strength, wisdom, hope and experience are all great but in all honesty you have to be ready, to want to be done. And even then it might not be enough. As long as ur alive that's all that matters though right? Cuz you can still fight?
You’re 100% right man, there has to be an actual want and desire to quit or it won’t ever work and yea i definitely brotha. As long as we are here we can fight, we only fail when we completely give up. As long as we keep fighting we never are failures.
One day at a time man 💯
So happy to see u Slay
Hebrews 10:14
Good to see you as well Kristen!! How are you?
@ I’m “crawling in my skin” for the New Year to come and go. I thrive on a schedule…
Knowing everybody is “off” makes me want to go get lost somewhere. lol!!
The holiday stretch starts to bug me.
Idk why
I have no complaints, I’m sober & I am behind u always! That’s my silver lining today. Seeing u ♥️🎁🫶🏻🙏🏻
Bachelor parties in Kansas City punked my guts out in packed bars... massive projectile vomit..whole floor flooded
Hi Slayer, I'm on my second night without sleep. I dropped off without knowing it and my brain kicked me out my horrible dream. I'm so tired i don't know how long i can keep going without sleeping. Yesterday i had watery yellow diarrhea all day and i was shaking like a shitting dog. I was really cold too and shivering. I should've gone to the hospital but i decided to ride it out at home. I've had enough of this withdrawal, never again.
I’m so sorry that you’re going through that hell!! Have you considered again maybe going to the hospital instead of riding it out at home? Or at the very least going to see a doctor? I just want you to be safe. Alcohol withdrawal is awful!! “Never again” let’s both stick to those words. Be safe!! Keep me updated
@Slayer-7373 Thanks Slayer, I had a pre-arranged appointment with my doctor on the 9th January. If this goes on I might have seen him sooner if I can get in. I found some Acamprosate tablets that I didn't know I had so I've just taken 2 tablets. The NHS in England advises you start them as soon as you go into withdrawal so I'll see what they do. It's the vivid nightmares that start as soon as you nod off then wake again that I can do without. It's like my brain has put a lock on the door to enter into sleep until it feels better. Thanks Slayer🙏. I'll keep in touch fella.
@@Slayer-7373 Hi Slayer, it's early Monday morning 5:30 in Sheffield UK and my eyes were going and suddenly I'm in this nightmare getting dragged around by an invisible being and being thrown into walls. Then I woke up. Then my eyes started dropping again and I'm in this nightmare where I'm participating in group who are fighting with baseball bats and metal pipes while running at each other in a city centre. It was brutal and so was the music that accompanied it. I woke up again but this time felt a bit better. The brain is balancing the neurotransmitters GABA and glutamate in it's own strange way. It's not over yet, I reckon either tomorrow night or the night after another session in the nightmare house. I hate going through this but it's the only way to get my brain chemicals in balance again. From experience I know when it's all over cos I instantly feel at peace and usually sleep for 11 hours. I hope it's over soon because this is nature's torture
@@Slayer-7373 Hi Slayer, it's early Monday morning 5:30 in Sheffield UK and my eyes were going and suddenly I'm in this nightmare getting dragged around by an invisible being and being thrown into walls. Then I woke up. Then my eyes started dropping again and I'm in this nightmare where I'm participating in group who are fighting with baseball bats and metal pipes while running at each other in a city centre. It was brutal and so was the music that accompanied it. I woke up again but this time felt a bit better. The brain is balancing the neurotransmitters GABA and glutamate in it's own strange way. It's not over yet, I reckon either tomorrow night or the night after another session in the nightmare house. I hate going through this but it's the only way to get my brain chemicals in balance again. From experience I know when it's all over cos I instantly feel at peace and usually sleep for 11 hours. I hope it's over soon because this is nature's torture.
I really felt that like first thing you do on morning take a sip of liquor or for me i open beer can, you know in that point you might have a problem
Absolutely man whatever alcohol it might be. When we are waking up and booze is our breakfast….. there’s a major problem. I use to think it was normal once upon a time…. Lack of education I think years ago. I really use to think booze wasn’t too bad for you. Insane!!! Happy new year brother 🙏
There's honestly some stuff I can't mention...cant implicate myself...
In healing & detachment from people I remember the past more. Recently I've realised, I've never been good at drinking mainly because I was always driving, so I never built up the metabolism for it.
When my life would change (end of relationships, going on holidays, nights out etc) I would drink & in healing myself, I've thought about all these occasions. Drink has always made me crazy. There's not one occasion I can say there were *Absolutely no issues* .
That being said... I then thought, I know I'm a good person (or thought I was) but I'm not as good as I thought I was... Now that I've thought about it 😶🌫️
That's what makes me see CLEAR on 'I fooled myself' and it's silly to think that I was never an issue. When in Actual fact, I was but only to be misguiding myself in what *I chose* to remember 😶🌫️
This is a powerful and true comment, I can relate in ways. We always think it’s making things better but it never does. Alcohol really isn’t the problem, it’s deeper than all of that. Much love 🙏 thank you for this comment.
@Slayer-7373 i thought you'd like that. This one will blow your mind.... I've noticed with me, that it's *stages of life* (there's a pattern) imagine *you were fine from* Ie (my pattern):
first major relationship 20-25, after that the binges began for roughly 6months (real crazy drinking alone sad but also realised I couldn't cry on coke) & then got back into DJing & dating again but was still in love with ex (technically I was kinda still binging for the next 3yrs just not sad or alone) until a decent partner come along...
So let's say, I was at 29 by then (not drinking much or anything for the next 7yrs) ... Then that ended & the biggest binge *HAD* to begin
I've had the past 4yr of binges since then, until 2yrs ago I *sat down* & slowly figured out that : TO GET BACK TO MY ORIGINAL 19YR OLD SELF, People, social media, all things like that SHOULD GO
slowly after you've done that backtracking of patterns
Watch TV (normal free TV like when I was little) & spend time in the house doing things I would do as a kid. Put phone on silent or lose it on purpose
Spend time with only the animals I have. Slowly, I've realised WHAT ACTUALLY IS MY PATTERN
And it makes so much sense to suddenly see & feel like you've healed yourself through common knowledge
I think if you do that, your be totally fine. I'm on 8 days but I never drunk often when I was 19
And I feel 19 again.... I remember so so much that I actually feel that mind again.
And kids like us being sober adults are EXACTLY PERFECT because *WE ARE SUPPOSED TO NOT BE LIKE THEM* .... We're lucky it affects us badly because *we're not the kids that were supposed to grow up THAT WAY*
WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO TOLERATE IT & THATS OUR GIFT IN THE LONG RUN 🫴🏽
YOUR GONNA HEAL OTHERS I CAN GUARANTEE 🫶🏼
Is it just me or does brown liquor make people more aggressive?
It does seem that way Adam, I know darker liquors leave you with a worse hangover too. So it’s pretty strange haha.
Love you bro, you’ve helped me so much. I’m an Olympic track athlete all came crashing down, I know your ex was beautiful/ mine was literally Sara sapmisio (which is a super model) bro forget your ex. I hate when you talk about her, and if you wanna talk about her okay, but in private. She’s viewing this shit, and taking satisfaction in your pain.
She’s taking satisfaction in your pain.
@ woah man, I bet you have a HECK of a story. Love ya too man, you’re right though. After this video and maybe some in part 2 I won’t be bringing her up anymore. No need to bring up past things. If she has seen these videos it would blow my mind. I don’t know if she would ever say a word if she did, or how she might feel. It’s like they say we gotta take the trash out right man and leave it there.
God bless bro, one day at a time
@ and she was beautiful man, I won’t lie.
I deeply believe that a lot of your urges to drink come from your anger towards your brother. One of the hardest things in the world to do is letting grudges go that drag us down into oblivion.
I know what it's like to harbor hatred for others. My cousin who I've been very close friends with literally since birth, she's like a sister to me. She has been repeatedly sexualy abused, raped by An old boyfriend and sexualy assaulted by her own stepsister. Every muscle in my body wants harm and revenge to come to these people, however in reality at this point she's safe and the only person that is being harmed at this point is me through the emotional distress it brings me.
The only thing to do is to move on and let is rest, of course this is very very hard and feels nearly impossible, but it's something that I have done for myself, not letting these evil people ruin my life as well.
All being said my point is your anger towards your brother only drags you down and I am a living example that it's possible to let a grudge go. Great job staying sober you are loved by the hundreds of people in this community including myself, never forget how much you do have❤
You are 100% right, I’m gonna screenshot this comment to remind myself of the truth!! To keep my mind straight, forgiving in the end heals us, like you said the anger and resentment only drags us down. Much love bro and god bless. Hope you’re doing well my friend 🙏