Ladies, I have done the respect a man even before he deserves it. It does not inspire a man to change. It just makes him think he can stay at that level, the level at which you do not trust and respect him.
Yeah, he lost me at that point too. By experience giving and showing a man respect when he is treating you wrong or not treating you right has resulted in the worst behaviour because it is rewarding someone for bad behaviour and they take that as you accepting it and it gets worse.
I think the thing is these principles mostly apply to men who are healthy overall. I was blatantly gas-lit by my 2nd ex, when he was developing a deep emotional bond with another girl. He assumed that I was being jealous when I was not. Ultimately he created the self-fulfilling prophecy. We where already in a state of disillusionment with each other, he was trying to find a way out of the relationship. He was a deeply broken boy though. Granted, I was also in a doormat phase of my life. Willing to put up with anything out of fear of abandonment. If there is any positive takeaway from that relationship: I will never allow myself to be with another man who is so broken he cannot make me his priority. If he gives the key to his heart to another woman. I am out immediately and not looking back. I am far too valuable for that nonsense. We as women need to be brave enough to walk away from men who are not meeting our needs.
Thank you for the roadmap example! You really put my thoughts in words. I used to be negative always and highlighting what was lacking in our lives (marriage, children) and in the past couple of months I’ve only focused on just on our relationship while trying to be fulfilled just by his presence and actions. Now it looks like that he has more confidence and thus motivation to deliver on those other wishes. 🙏
You must feel lonely ! Learn to communicate your feelings kindly and verbally! Maybe he's spoiled and takes you for granted. Talk to him, explain your actions and you feel he's not going 1/2 way. Or seems to not be contributing to the relationship! Relationship & communication go together.. listen to this video closely !
In some cases, giving can be people-pleasing behavior-it can be a subtle form of manipulation or even self-preservation. Separately but related, givers would be wise to uncover that they must eventually learn how to receive. Not necessarily to be takers, but to become an equal recipient. Just another 2¢ from the comments 👍🏼☀️
Agreed! It’s near impossible to meet someone, then let alone both make an effort or want to be in a relationship. The odds are pretty bad I think now 😢
Everyone one of your tips is spot on. I’m going to watch this again and share it with my friend. I’ve been single and independent for a long time so it’s going to take work for me to accept help etc. Thank you.❤
What about the neighbor that you let help you with the trees in your driveway who then thinks that gives him the right to come into your backyard whenever he wants afterwards. It seems there's always something attached to the giving that they do.
True in general but very broad. It's not this easy. Especially that you mention the unconscious. What do you think how much time it takes to change what lives deep within you, even if you get conscious of it? It's not just " just be and be vulnerable" and you get your dream man. Societies make a difference, too. First thing is to choose wisely and choose the right person - and that's where it often goes wrong. Trying to respect the wrong man probably would not mean something of a great outcome. But in general yes, we must take into consideration how different men are.
I understand this. I don't understand why cooking for someone is mothering them? Maybe I'm misunderstanding. Most people have a normal,healthy division of chores they agree upon. What if a man works 60 hours a week to be a good provider and the other person works part time in a profession they enjoy and do some extra housekeeping chores to make it easier for both. If this is mothering I think you are off base.
In my opinion it has to do with the underlying intentions with the act of, for example, cooking. If it’s your love language or something you’re happy to do, or part of an expressed win-win agreement, then it’s not mothering. But if you’re doing it out of resentful obligation, or “giving to get,” that comes off as mothering. I think the term itself might be what’s off base, though, because (positive) mothers are nurturing and there’s nothing wrong with that.
He’s just explaining to you that men want to do for you. Stop cooking for him, he rather take you out somewhere to dinner. This way he has a choice of what he likes to eat as well.
The more I learn of the issues between men and women, the devastating effects of generational patriarchy and preference of males in society marriages, the more discouraged and solemn I become. I felt certain society was moving forward, now I’m becoming convinced we are moving backwards and out of orbit regarding men and women’s needs and functions in society. May God have mercy on us all.
#6 is so accurate! 100% #5 is right too!! #4 is accurate too! He is not saying cooking for your man all the time is mothering but anticipating his needs all the time. And yes he can cook once in a while or take you out to eat. #3 is absolutely correct Respect him #2 yep-true too! I see women control their husbands and he never changes. #1 yes I learned all these the hardest way possible but now that I have this guy is right, I am happily married. And I learned this from men who do these kind of videos! Just try it but my other advice is try 1 to 2 things you want to change not 3,5,8 things you don’t like all at once because then he will feel like a failure. That is the last thing you want to make him feel!!
Every man i meet is so on guard against ever giving anything. They only want to take. Resentful and suspicious and treat you bad because "they have had bad experiences before" but haven't we all? Pfft
I met a phenomenal man several weeks ago. At the local market. He has shown great interest. Been kind, generous, attentive. A bit flirtatious but nothing inappropriate. He's a strong Christian. He hasn't asked for a date yet. We don't know one another that well. He's not the smooth talking, player type. He seems quite sincere. I feel cared for. Respected and honored. Am i being impatient hoping for a proper date?
Yes; you better be very smart, we live in dangerous times. And I would suggest observing him for awhile. Don't be in a hurry there are many obstacles to overcome once you're in a relationship and it doesn't go well. Better to stay on this side of a date and see how the guy really is. People put on the Ritz at first.
I feel like I had taken on the doormat phase of my relationship for awhile. Sometimes I did bring up other issues to him, and we did seem to resolve them. Overall, over time I didn’t seem to see anything changed but to be completely honest, I feel we both had a lot of emotional maturing to do!!
If the Lord isn't in it, it just won't work. Ever hear the proverb? " Unless the Lord builds the house, they that labor, labor in vain ". Google it. Follow Christ & you win everytime.
Agreed 100%. A lot of music that we know of today has been crafted/designed by satanic record producers and artists to distract us, get us addicted $ and confuse us off of our right path. Discernment and hygiene with what we ingest, auditorally, orally and otherwise is key.
A guy I just broke up with wanted me to take him on dates. Hating paying for dinner. And told me he’d never pay for my half of a vacation. He was also super avoidant and kept breaking up with me then coming back. I felt like he was a lost cause and waaaay to in his feminine for me to even try to magnetize him. Was I correct in this assessment?
My boyfriend of one year primarily gives to me. He pays for all of our dates and outings. I occasionally pick up something in the store I see for him and I booked a trip for his birthday weekend. Is booking a trip for his birthday weekend considered masculine or too much if it’s on special occasions?
that’s so right but… it works only according to the type of man if he’s conservative stoic etc & personality of the dude! If he’s more of modern youthful type of mentally it may not work as good! believe me! he should address that instead of generalizing!
I have self worth but attracted a covert narc and it was a day & nightmare. I knew nothing about narcissism. Its on the increase. Read 2 Timothy 3 in the bible. It spells it all out.
How about this? I ask my boyfriend if he likes the perfume that pop up on his phone and i ask him if he likes it as his birthday present, and he told me he likes it. I ask him that because he told me that this perfume is good. I didn't bought anything for him since we become boyfriend and girlfriend and for now we are almost 2 years in a relationship. Is this considered mothering?
🌈🌾🌻ThankYou Very helpful! With someone I've met I'm not sure how to get him to miss me because I'm trying to stay consistent! I could use some help on this to know the difference, ThankYou Kindly
@ ThankYou! I did try this about 7 months ago with someone. He wondered why I missed 2 days of contact and I've never heard back from him since, when he was absent in conversation most of the time over a very small misunderstanding of proving he wasn't a scammer!
I was with the same guy for over 10 years I was married and divorced to him I was seeing him after the divorce up until just a few months ago he was not willing to commit so I broke it off
Being in my feminine was never appreciated and respected by the partner, he was much more comfortable when I would be in survival mode. Once I stepped into my femininity he would run.
As a counselor in training for my masters, I want to say thank you for your teachings , I am learning very much for added experience with school. I also want to say thank you for including God into the conversation, your principles are spot on. I would love to share my story Of a love that withstood time of 40 years. He is my best friend in H.S., and we never lost touch, however we loved each other. One mistake of not taking me to prom changed our lives, also the fact we never went out together, never knew each other intimately, but never stopped loving each other. Recently there is a reason why we connected, now we want to finally be together and behaving as you instruct also adds to that magnet. We discovered that we were always in love with each other. Thank you
It's not about putting blame. It's about what works, and what's needed to maintain a relationship with a good man. If you don't mind men going away, keep disrespecting and devaluing them.
YOU ARE MAKING EN SOUND SO VERY WEAK AND DEPENDENT ON THE WOMEN, THIS IS NOT THE REAL WORK. MANY BLESSING, I HAS TO SAY SO, THIS IS FAR FROM THE ACTUAL WAY THE FUN GIRL IS WHEN YOU ARE IN YR TWENTIES, COME ON..
My man doesn't want to talk to me. I treat him with love, respect and admiration. I want him to feel appreciated. But when I ask him to ask to talk to me he tells me he's busy all the time. Should I just end it? Like you said actions speak louder than words. He responds with huh, hm, and question marks
He's not your spouse? He doesn't appreciate you? Your a convenience. A place holder. I'd say leave & it will be painful. Refocus on your relationship with Christ. I'm praying for you right now.
My son was married for a few years to a woman that nagged him to death until she felt satisfied with their conversation. Which were always long and drawn-out and in-depth and way more details and overwhelming to my son than he could handle. Most men are NOT into talking about their FEELINGS. So they would rather just say they're busy then go down that trail of conversation. You might just be trying to say too much and he knows it.
If he is busy all the time, he has to figure out a time for you. Tell him, the lack of interaction I receive is not enough, however you are going to be patient, if he needs a space or a time alone, when would be the time he can be free. Suggest to him to hang out together.
Take Our FREE “Magnetize Your Man” Quiz To Get A Loving, Long-Term & Committed Relationship With A Man You Desire ASAP Click: MagnetizeYourMan.com/YT
This is spot on. I nade a decision a long time to stay on my own. Sick of being lied to and treated as an option.
Ladies, I have done the respect a man even before he deserves it. It does not inspire a man to change. It just makes him think he can stay at that level, the level at which you do not trust and respect him.
Yeah the “respect a man” made me question… like they get respect when they treat us well, it’s a give and take here.
Yeah, he lost me at that point too. By experience giving and showing a man respect when he is treating you wrong or not treating you right has resulted in the worst behaviour because it is rewarding someone for bad behaviour and they take that as you accepting it and it gets worse.
Perhaps he had NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder).
I have also had that experience
I think the thing is these principles mostly apply to men who are healthy overall. I was blatantly gas-lit by my 2nd ex, when he was developing a deep emotional bond with another girl. He assumed that I was being jealous when I was not. Ultimately he created the self-fulfilling prophecy. We where already in a state of disillusionment with each other, he was trying to find a way out of the relationship. He was a deeply broken boy though. Granted, I was also in a doormat phase of my life. Willing to put up with anything out of fear of abandonment.
If there is any positive takeaway from that relationship: I will never allow myself to be with another man who is so broken he cannot make me his priority. If he gives the key to his heart to another woman. I am out immediately and not looking back. I am far too valuable for that nonsense. We as women need to be brave enough to walk away from men who are not meeting our needs.
Thank you for the roadmap example! You really put my thoughts in words. I used to be negative always and highlighting what was lacking in our lives (marriage, children) and in the past couple of months I’ve only focused on just on our relationship while trying to be fulfilled just by his presence and actions. Now it looks like that he has more confidence and thus motivation to deliver on those other wishes. 🙏
Ive given more to a partner than I’ve ever received from them 😢
Same!
You must feel lonely ! Learn to communicate your feelings kindly and verbally! Maybe he's spoiled and takes you for granted. Talk to him, explain your actions and you feel he's not going 1/2 way. Or seems to not be contributing to the relationship! Relationship & communication go together.. listen to this video closely !
In some cases, giving can be people-pleasing behavior-it can be a subtle form of manipulation or even self-preservation.
Separately but related, givers would be wise to uncover that they must eventually learn how to receive. Not necessarily to be takers, but to become an equal recipient.
Just another 2¢ from the comments 👍🏼☀️
Super helpful. Always feels like I'm getting a huge therapy session when I watch these. I am forever grateful for all the insight.
Now I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life because it's not easy meeting people today
It's much more challenging but God can do the impossible. Don't be discouraged.
Agreed! It’s near impossible to meet someone, then let alone both make an effort or want to be in a relationship. The odds are pretty bad I think now 😢
Sometimes I feel like it’s better I became a guy because if I dated my same gender no too much stress
@agnestembo1446 lol 😆 that's funny you say that cuz my kids even said mom maybe you should try the other side
@agnestembo1446 but you're so young you have plenty of time you will meet someone
this video literally came in the perfect moment in my life, love you
I respect you and your wife. I love that you give so much insight. Great, insight!!! Your coaching style is fabulous 👌
Everyone one of your tips is spot on. I’m going to watch this again and share it with my friend. I’ve been single and independent for a long time so it’s going to take work for me to accept help etc. Thank you.❤
What about the neighbor that you let help you with the trees in your driveway who then thinks that gives him the right to come into your backyard whenever he wants afterwards. It seems there's always something attached to the giving that they do.
True in general but very broad. It's not this easy. Especially that you mention the unconscious. What do you think how much time it takes to change what lives deep within you, even if you get conscious of it? It's not just " just be and be vulnerable" and you get your dream man. Societies make a difference, too. First thing is to choose wisely and choose the right person - and that's where it often goes wrong. Trying to respect the wrong man probably would not mean something of a great outcome.
But in general yes, we must take into consideration how different men are.
I understand this. I don't understand why cooking for someone is mothering them? Maybe I'm misunderstanding. Most people have a normal,healthy division of chores they agree upon. What if a man works 60 hours a week to be a good provider and the other person works part time in a profession they enjoy and do some extra housekeeping chores to make it easier for both. If this is mothering I think you are off base.
In my opinion it has to do with the underlying intentions with the act of, for example, cooking. If it’s your love language or something you’re happy to do, or part of an expressed win-win agreement, then it’s not mothering. But if you’re doing it out of resentful obligation, or “giving to get,” that comes off as mothering. I think the term itself might be what’s off base, though, because (positive) mothers are nurturing and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Cooking aside, anytime there is resentment particulary resentment that lingers,it is the beginning of the end of any relationship.
He’s just explaining to you that men want to do for you. Stop cooking for him, he rather take you out somewhere to dinner. This way he has a choice of what he likes to eat as well.
😂 so, it's what makes him happy. @@Gotoworkkk
@@bethdouty4591very, very true!
What about the man that says what he's going to do but then does nothing? This is where I'm at. SMH
100% right...can speak for myself - learned this way too late in life
You just said in your other video dont ask him for stuff because hell feel controlled.
The more I learn of the issues between men and women, the devastating effects of generational patriarchy and preference of males in society marriages, the more discouraged and solemn I become. I felt certain society was moving forward, now I’m becoming convinced we are moving backwards and out of orbit regarding men and women’s needs and functions in society. May God have mercy on us all.
Totally Agree With Your Post👍👍👍
I was called out on many of these especially the final one, this is so helpful definetly going to use this to become better for my man❤
#6 is so accurate! 100%
#5 is right too!!
#4 is accurate too! He is not saying cooking for your man all the time is mothering but anticipating his needs all the time. And yes he can cook once in a while or take you out to eat.
#3 is absolutely correct Respect him
#2 yep-true too! I see women control their husbands and he never changes.
#1 yes
I learned all these the hardest way possible but now that I have this guy is right, I am happily married.
And I learned this from men who do these kind of videos! Just try it but my other advice is try 1 to 2 things you want to change not 3,5,8 things you don’t like all at once because then he will feel like a failure. That is the last thing you want to make him feel!!
Thank you
Every man i meet is so on guard against ever giving anything. They only want to take. Resentful and suspicious and treat you bad because "they have had bad experiences before" but haven't we all? Pfft
I met a phenomenal man several weeks ago. At the local market. He has shown great interest. Been kind, generous, attentive. A bit flirtatious but nothing inappropriate. He's a strong Christian. He hasn't asked for a date yet. We don't know one another that well. He's not the smooth talking, player type. He seems quite sincere. I feel cared for. Respected and honored. Am i being impatient hoping for a proper date?
Yes; you better be very smart, we live in dangerous times. And I would suggest observing him for awhile. Don't be in a hurry there are many obstacles to overcome once you're in a relationship and it doesn't go well.
Better to stay on this side of a date and see how the guy really is. People put on the Ritz at first.
Do not give him any money. No matter how good his story is.
I don't think he likes u that much if he hasn't asked u out
Maybe ask him to coffee. Go from there.
No man has ever asked me 4 money. In my whole life.
I feel like I had taken on the doormat phase of my relationship for awhile. Sometimes I did bring up other issues to him, and we did seem to resolve them. Overall, over time I didn’t seem to see anything changed but to be completely honest, I feel we both had a lot of emotional maturing to do!!
If the Lord isn't in it, it just won't work. Ever hear the proverb? " Unless the Lord builds the house, they that labor, labor in vain ". Google it. Follow Christ & you win everytime.
Thank you! The song by Ne-Yo: She Got Her Own is the antithesis of this. Shame people are trying to confuse us. This video was helpful!
Agreed 100%. A lot of music that we know of today has been crafted/designed by satanic record producers and artists to distract us, get us addicted $ and confuse us off of our right path. Discernment and hygiene with what we ingest, auditorally, orally and otherwise is key.
Women can also give support to their partners, when needed. Almost anyone can learn to communicate / some emotional intelligence.
My sister mothers her man constantly. Controlling & smothering him. He told her he's completely lost attraction for her & she doesnt get it.
it makes my heart warm each time i see you upload honey
Honey 😂???? This guy's married 😮
@@tamitatangoto5134 women call everyone honey
A guy I just broke up with wanted me to take him on dates. Hating paying for dinner. And told me he’d never pay for my half of a vacation. He was also super avoidant and kept breaking up with me then coming back. I felt like he was a lost cause and waaaay to in his feminine for me to even try to magnetize him. Was I correct in this assessment?
Yes.
Good for you for walking away!
YES!!
YES
You & Your beautiful wife...well, your a Godesend. I appreciate you.
Wow, thanks and you're so welcome!
My boyfriend of one year primarily gives to me. He pays for all of our dates and outings. I occasionally pick up something in the store I see for him and I booked a trip for his birthday weekend. Is booking a trip for his birthday weekend considered masculine or too much if it’s on special occasions?
that’s so right but… it works only according to the type of man if he’s conservative stoic etc & personality of the dude! If he’s more of modern youthful type of mentally it may not work as good!
believe me! he should address that instead of generalizing!
I offered to bring items for Thanksgiving dinner. FYI, This will be the first time I meet his family (his two daughters and son)..
Men dont like that attitude becomes it also a special thing on myself becomes i like to fill seriously if i fill beautiful he'll be happy to
What about a man that does all that but has a social media that has a lot of females and don’t have a relationship status on it?
What about my man who actually has cheated on, disrespected me, walked away from our marriage?
He's not your man
Oh wonderfull so woman get the blame a gain know men learn too learn it,❤❤❤
I have self worth but attracted a covert narc and it was a day & nightmare. I knew nothing about narcissism. Its on the increase. Read 2 Timothy 3 in the bible. It spells it all out.
How about this? I ask my boyfriend if he likes the perfume that pop up on his phone and i ask him if he likes it as his birthday present, and he told me he likes it. I ask him that because he told me that this perfume is good. I didn't bought anything for him since we become boyfriend and girlfriend and for now we are almost 2 years in a relationship. Is this considered mothering?
What does he do for you? What does he bring in the table?
Stop buying things for him. Perfume is an individual thing, not for the other person to like. But for yourself.
🌈🌾🌻ThankYou Very helpful! With someone I've met I'm not sure how to get him to miss me because I'm trying to stay consistent! I could use some help on this to know the difference, ThankYou Kindly
Keep your distance. Don't initiate communication & wait on GOD. The Lord will tell you what's up.
@
ThankYou! I did try this about 7 months ago with someone. He wondered why I missed 2 days of contact and I've never heard back from him since, when he was absent in conversation most of the time over a very small misunderstanding of proving he wasn't a scammer!
but there are no 'man" outside, they are like little children.
😅😅😅
Too difficult
I was with the same guy for over 10 years I was married and divorced to him I was seeing him after the divorce up until just a few months ago he was not willing to commit so I broke it off
Being in my feminine was never appreciated and respected by the partner, he was much more comfortable when I would be in survival mode. Once I stepped into my femininity he would run.
No sound
Hes all chose things i simply abor him ,
Some one pls summarize
As a counselor in training for my masters, I want to say thank you for your teachings , I am learning very much for added experience with school. I also want to say thank you for including God into the conversation, your principles are spot on. I would love to share my story Of a love that withstood time of 40 years. He is my best friend in H.S., and we never lost touch, however we loved each other. One mistake of not taking me to prom changed our lives, also the fact we never went out together, never knew each other intimately, but never stopped loving each other. Recently there is a reason why we connected, now we want to finally be together and behaving as you instruct also adds to that magnet. We discovered that we were always in love with each other. Thank you
So tired of men putting blame on women for " not valuing" men. This is b.s.
It's not about putting blame. It's about what works, and what's needed to maintain a relationship with a good man. If you don't mind men going away, keep disrespecting and devaluing them.
❤
YOU ARE MAKING EN SOUND SO VERY WEAK AND DEPENDENT ON THE WOMEN, THIS IS NOT THE REAL WORK. MANY BLESSING, I HAS TO SAY SO, THIS IS FAR FROM THE ACTUAL WAY
THE FUN GIRL IS WHEN YOU ARE IN YR TWENTIES, COME ON..
My man doesn't want to talk to me. I treat him with love, respect and admiration. I want him to feel appreciated. But when I ask him to ask to talk to me he tells me he's busy all the time. Should I just end it? Like you said actions speak louder than words. He responds with huh, hm, and question marks
He's not your spouse? He doesn't appreciate you? Your a convenience. A place holder. I'd say leave & it will be painful. Refocus on your relationship with Christ. I'm praying for you right now.
My son was married for a few years to a woman that nagged him to death until she felt satisfied with their conversation. Which were always long and drawn-out and in-depth and way more details and overwhelming to my son than he could handle.
Most men are NOT into talking about their FEELINGS. So they would rather just say they're busy then go down that trail of conversation.
You might just be trying to say too much and he knows it.
Have friends and hobbies so you can have people to talk to
If he is busy all the time, he has to figure out a time for you. Tell him, the lack of interaction I receive is not enough, however you are going to be patient, if he needs a space or a time alone, when would be the time he can be free. Suggest to him to hang out together.
@@tamitatangoto5134mom your the problem. I’m glad she’s no longer with your son.