She's right. Grandparents are not built-in babysitters. Also, 1st born children are *NOT* responsible for watching the younger siblings!!!! Watch your own kids!!!!!
I agree with you or hire a Nanny, do not except your Mom or dad to always pick your kids up from school. now if you have to work late, then they may do it then, they have a life of there own. they have spend there life raising you. you need to raise your own kids
Right. Luckily, my parents never did that. I can’t stand seeing parents who have their older children take care of the young ones. Like who told you to have children?!
That 1st born part👏🏿 I saw how rebellious my oldest sibling got and I know for a fact that its due to them being forced to grow up so quickly by constantly having to care my other siblings and I.
DANCE Infinity I feel so bad for older siblings with that burden! I babysit my niece and nephew from time to time (out of obligation). I'm a grown woman and it annoys me so I couldn't imagine having to have dealt with that as a young kid. When I keep my niece and nephew I make sure I do everything for each of them myself, unless my nephew *wants* to help his younger sister with something I don't force him, I do it myself. I feel bad because I see their parent doing the complete opposite. I refuse to do that with my future kids.
Jeannie Mai has a African-American fiance and she's talking about something that doesn't even matter when black men and women are getting killed every day by racist white police. This show is trash if they are not talking about reparations for African Americans what are we talkin about I'll tell you a bunch of nothing. That's why I try to tell people just because you are married or dating somebody black does not mean that you care about black issues.
aniya fjua I get what you’re saying but go complain on insta or something coz if you want them to talk about t they ain’t gonna read it here. & this video reallly wasn’t the place to comment that
@@aniyax4023 ma'am this was recorded b4 BLM. And you don't know if she's been secretly donating. And she HAS spoken about it. Who are you to judge how much someone speaks about this movement. You treat is like a trend with an expiration date. Leave.
That's right, never let any person tend to your children who feel it's an obligation. We want children with people who want for the child's best. love, attention and dedication. No some grouchy old grandmother who don't want much to do with the grandchild. Bad for their self concept
My mom adores my son and he isn't a pain at all, but of course I don't take advantage of her, whenever I plan a date night I always give my mom up to a weeks notice if she can bc I know she too has a life
I took mine back and forth to school everyday for 2 years while caring for my sick father with cancer.. I helped my son with his son for over 2years during a very hard time. I did it because of the love I have for my family but after my son got a new girlfriend I received a break from doing all this and now I never see them any more. I was completely cut off. The biggest hurt a person could ever go through is this loss
Jeannie spoke truth. I've been called selfish for saying I'm not ready emotionally or financially to be a mom. When I asked what made them decide to be a parent thinking they would have an insightful response they said "because I'll have someone to love me and will take care of me in my old age." 😳😳😳
I totally agree. Nothing wrong with your decision. I don't have children either. You can't be selfish towards babies that don't exist. But you are responsible not to bring babies if you are not sure that you could not do it right without regrets. And it can't be right if you are not ready - it would affect you children.
I don't have any kids either. And do you know how many times people told me well at least have 1 kid. So that they can take care of you when you get old.
I was so lucky that my grandma ran what we called “grandma daycare” for myself and my cousins when we were kids HOWEVER she loved it and specifically wanted to take care of us. There is NO WAY you should pressure your mom into doing that for you.
@@shellpoop2338, my grandma was a teacher, so during school holidays I would stay with her during the week, whilst my parents are at work, and I would stay with them in the weekend. Most grandparents would do anything to be with their grandkids where I come from, so I really can't relate to this lady. Also I find it weird to pay your parents to look after your kids, unless, of course, they have given up their job to look after the grandchildren or you are just helping them with money.
My grandma did the same thing! Me, my siblings and all my cousins grew up together because she would watch all of us in the summer❤️ But she was always a daycare worker no one forced her which was great cause she loved to watch us🥰❤️
I can say for myself my mother loves watching her grandchildren at anytime. There are times when I don't ask her to watch my kids and she'll call me and ask when are they spending the night. She told me she doesnt feel comfortable with some strangers in daycare watching my kids and possibly doing harm to them. I feel blessed to have a mother like mines. I truly compensate her so she doesnt feel like she is doing it for free.
That is very kind. I think the biggest point is there is a huge difference based on expectations. There’s a huge difference between EXPECTING grandma/grandpa to babysit any time anywhere for any duration vs. KINDLY ASKING grandma/grandpa to occasionally babysit either with a lot of notice or during a rare emergency. If grandma/grandpa say no, you should also have other backups (friends, siblings, etc.) for true emergencies, and if it’s not an emergency you should be willing to stay home. If grandma/grandpa say no, it should never be held against them, and when they say yes you should always show up on time to pick the kids up and should always give grandma/grandpa a huge thank you. You are absolutely right that life happens, and when someone needs to be run to the ER we all can use a backup. Plus, I believe it’s important for grandkids to know their grandparents. But it is never owed, and it should be infrequent enough that grandparents still get to be grandparents rather than having to be parents. And grandparents certainly should never have to feel used.
*You want someone to take care of you when u get old* Jeannie spoke da TRUTH! Back in the day our grandparents or great-gps had hella kids just so they could have someone to help them.
in most African countries it's the opposite..they actually want you to have kids so they take care of them to an extent. but I understand why this can be a burden in America where most grandparents are still working and have Bill's to pay
Yup! My mom helps when I need it for a random date night or course I need it take. They help me around once a week and my kids are happy bc they can bond with the grandparents. And in turn I will never put my parents in nursing homes when they get older. This is just not our culture. We all help eachother!
Not at all my african grandma (Fulani from Guinea) did not like taking care of her grandkids at all & I don’t blame her, I can often see the stress & regrets in her face when she talks about raising my brothers & I, she is just to afraid to say it like many other grandparents. That’s why I would give her more money & care than my birth mother(her daughter) because she is my true & real mother.
I couldn't agree more! I'll bare children when I can AFFORD a nanny/babysitter. I am FIRMLY against using relatives for free childcare. I am the auntie that was taken advantage of because a relative of mine truly believes it is apart of aunt and grandparents responsibility to help with childcare. I couldn't imagine doing that to my relatives. Set you up a nanny cam and go through a good babysitting/nanny agency as there are TONS of responsible trustworthy young adults who would love the opportunity!
@@bossytweed6664 Imagine thinking that is true when its actually not. Good excuse for being a shitty person though. Family members are 83% less likely to physically abuse or neglect a child compared to a stranger. Not to mention you just said they should hire a stranger instead of you spending time with your family because you'll abuse them. If you're that shitty of a person just go seclude yourself for the rest of your life so that no one is stuck having to breathe the same air as you
@@bossytweed6664 not to mention calling them "professionals" when over 90% of them never once took a true class or went to college in child development and so on. So nope youre just hiring a stranger.
Love Jeannie's hairstyle. Also, I agree with the grandma. Raise Ur children right so they can take care of their own kids & not U raising their kids. Grandparents did their job raising their own kids. My mom had instilled in my bro & I since we were pre-teens., Dont bring any grandkids for her to take care of. I don't have children yet & I'm very proud of my bro, he handles his business (& is a doting dad).
Yeah,And the parents expect you to let them act the way they do at home at your house.No Ma'ma Im not putting up with the crap that your parents let you get away with.Thats why outside of my own Grands I refuse to watch certain children.These kids these days are too much for me.lol
Preach Loni! There is no guarantee those kids you have will turn around and take care of you when you get older. No one should be pressured to have children nor should they automatically assume the grandparents will be the babysitters.
Lol yea people don't want to speak about the fact that parents pressure their kids to give them grand children. They also don't want to talk about the fact that some parents have kids so someone can take care of them in their old age. They also don't speak about how parents put pressure on the older kids to take care of the younger ones. Keep the same energy!
look after your own damn kids! you had them, its your responsibility. don't pawn your kids off on someone, that's why you think before making them kids, its a lifetime responsibility
Yep I agree! That's why I'm childfree. If my momma wants to be a grandmother then she's going to be a full time babysitter. And since she's not down for that she zips her lips! Not UP in here! Lol
As soon as I retired the kids looked at my situation as an opportunity for free day care. it really upset me that they said that since I was retired, I had nothing else to do!
Grandma's should be able to come get their grandchildren when they feel like spending time with them or babysitting them.They shouldn't feel obligated.And some of you parents take advantage of grandma and dont pick the kids up at the time you're suppose to.smh
I agree but still try to let your kids have a good relationship with there grandparents they can learn so much. My best childhood memories are with my grandma
I have told my daughter that when she has kids they're HER kids. I get to enjoy their time, make cakes, read books, watch tv and talk together, but I don't do discipline. I will help my daughter if she ever NEEDS me, but she knows that once she has a baby 'private and fun time' are extinct until they leave home. She was brought up right so has no problem with this!!!!
I LOVE this lady. Good job for standing up for yourself. I wish my mom was this way, she feels the same way but wont say anything because she's afraid to lose the relationship with her son/my brother. SMH
That’s why I always have mine. Nobody is going to throw anything in my face. However my babies grand parents are VERY helpful. My kids want for nothing thanks to us and them. 🖤🖤🖤
What Jeanine said is what I get told everytime I visit my family, that I should have kids so that I won’t be alone 🙄 honestly that’s not a valid reason to have kids
In the hispanic community (from what I've experienced), we do NOT trust daycare/random babysitters. Your mom, grandma, aunt, sister, mother-in-law, cousins, etc. always prefer you to leave your baby with them than leave them with complete strangers. However, there's a difference between them watching your kids for a couple hours then you leaving them to sleep over for days. So yes I agree that taking advantage of family is wrong. I only trust THREE people to watch my twins & yes they are all family members. The only reason I feel comfortable with them going to school now is because they can speak & make me aware of any possible abuse. Before they could speak, hell no I would have neverrr. I am my children's protector & this is the way that works for me ! And my family is happy to help🙂
My husband mum and dad said that when we got married... they changed there minds when we had a baby lol but we already had it in our minds the baby doesn't get babysat we have babies to raise them ourselves.
It's 💯true let them enjoy their golden years in peace, I and my sister give our blessing to our mum go back home AkA Africa. We wanted her to rest and be happy.
@@starsworld6016 no not as it should be. Your child should be able to spend time with their family members without it being thrown in the parents face. 💯 this is why yall are lonely and miserable af and have no game connections. You think spending time with yojr family members is a burden then wonder why no one gives af about you when you need help
I wish you weren’t taught to feel this way. Everyone needs a break! It’s a difference between support and taking advantage of someone. I always have my child due to my lack of support system. He’s had to witness me at my lowest when all I needed was an hour to regroup. This is the way we are being taught to raise kids in 2020.
When I was 15-16 I used to say I want to have kids so they can take care of me when I’m old. I’m 19 now and and I know that is the most selfish thing I’ve ever thought of.
My mom hates being a babysitter all day and she watched my son for When we go out for Valentine’s Day our anniversary and birthdays but we never just drop him off when we got nothing going on. People are selfish nowadays
There is a difference between having an arrangement with your parents for them to watch your children (while at work or for a date night) vs just being completely inconsiderate and EXPECTING them to watch them. My mom and mother in-law watch my 2 girls while my husband and I work. It's not just because daycare is expensive, I don't want my children being abused or getting sick. We also work out schedules and if one of our moms wants a break or needs one (because they deserve it for simply helping us) we move things to make it work. Not everyone is mooching.
My mom feels obligated to babysit my sister’s children. I blame mom because she doesn’t know when to stop giving too much of herself. Thank goodness I thought myself how to have boundaries!
This applies to friends and family. I think its so rude to burden friends and family with babysitting your kids. A once a week kid swap that goes both ways with both friends, both sisters etc is cool but not when its one way and you are taking advantage of your friends and families kindness. I do not want a friendship based on need (babysitting). Actions speak louder than words. If you are saying to me you want to build a good friendship then treating your friends like an on call babysitter is just rude. If the babysitting is mutual, planned out, you are considerate of each other's time and you are not burdening your friends or family because boundaries have already be addressed so yall know what each other is and isnt willing to commit to then yes that is a better way to have a healthy relationship.
My nana used to watch me but she made it clear she wanted to watch me and my cousins. Especially because my mama was a single mom. But she always asked and if my nana couldn’t we would find alternatives. My mama was like she’s my kid so I get to raise her but you get to spoil her with love and support.
I’m ready when y’all are, to have a conversation on the selfish reason ppl have kids. I’ve heard “ it’s nice to have someone love me””oh they’re my retirement plan”. It’s funny bc the tables have turned im edging towards my 30s & my parents are begging for grandchildren.
She is right. But....not alot of grandparents feel that way. Some are proud and love to watch their grandchildren. Even though one is suppose to support their kids grandparents do help out as well. My kids grandma& grandpa help out all the time. I help them out too. That is called family helping family.
People expecting their parents to babysit their children are narcissistic and entitled. After that they will even put their parents to old people's homes. Disgusting.
I'm soon to be turning 60 years old, and at the rate my grown son dating desire is to remain single, it won't be for another 5 to 10 years before something happens between he and his old lady begin to procreate and turn me and my beautiful wife of (man, we show is old) years into grandparents, and when that day arrives: WE AIN'T GONNA BE SOMEBODY'S HUMAN BABYSITTING DUMPING GROUND!!
So true and I wish they woildve thrown in there how the oldest child isnt a baby sitter either or shouldn't have to parent the child....thats wrong on sooo many levels
I hire a babysitter when I go to work but she would stay at my mums house just for supervision. The babysitter would take care of everything and my mum can enjoy playing with her grandchild whenever she wants. If my mum has to go out she just turns on the babycam for me so I can watch her while she goes and comes back.
I can't stand when parents' get overly-excited about their kids turning 18 because they "can't wait for them to get out of the house," so they have a break. You should have thought about that before you had sex. Nobody asked to be born.
@@pmp3486 I agree, but I'm talking about a specific type of parent though. The ones that say snarky comments when it's not the kids' fault that they're here. They should enjoy life independently but not make the kids feel like they were a curse.
She is right however my mother refused to babysit when my child was a baby while I was going to college and working and it was very hard for me. I didn’t expect her to everyday but every once in a while it would’ve helped. Especially when I was sick which happened often working full time and going to school with an infant. I made it however now she is always asking to keep them every weekend and I tell her no. You couldn’t when I absolutely needed you, you can’t keep them now that I don’t need you. A big issue with her is she tells my kids to do things I don’t allow in my home then they come back misbehaving.
I think this applies to any relative not only your mother. But don't expect or put pressure on your brother or sister to be there to babysit your kids or pick them up from wherever. They are your children and your responsibilities.
Yet, when I and a lot of black kids were growing up, as the older kid I was left to babysit my younger siblings that I didn’t ask you to have -.- If my siblings did stupid things I get blamed for it.
That’s screwed up and abusive on you. It’s called parentification 😣 blaming all on you is also abusive. You may already know but sharing in case you weren’t aware.
I mean, there is definitely an issue with people not taking care of their kids and dumping them on grandparents, aunts, uncles, whoever (hey, sis!). But I really do believe there is an issue with this whole "the moment you turn 18 you're on your own, you need to wholly support your kids, no help or you shouldn't have them" thing. None of these women, except perhaps Tamera, would be here if their parents felt that way. They lived in the projects, ffs! No, the problem is that we DO need to continue to support each other throughout life. This isn't some selfish "I need my parent's support" thing. I realized this when I lost my mom, and now my dad is left, all alone, even poorer than ever. He needs that support from me...and when my husband and I have kids, he can be that support for us.
I feel like in Hispanic culture is a little different. A lot of us are raised by our grandparents , I wasn’t but a lot of my cousins were. Maybe some grandmas are just kinda rude but my mom said that she would take care of my kids any time, and she would love it. Maybe because I’m an only child and she always wanted more children so she loves the idea of having another kid to help raise.
There’s no such thing as accidental pregnancies, so if you can’t afford em don’t breed em. I don’t know people treat having kids as child’s play, it takes love, dedication, time, and money when you chose to have kids. Grandparents should be enjoying their retirement and the rest of their life, not being stuck as a babysitter.
@@lesegophokanoka6363 Hay :). A lot of young girls leave children with their parents to finish school, or even working parents leaving their children to their parents to work in other places (or provinces) -many children are raised by their grandparents (or in multigenerational homes) Thinking about times where we were left at our grandparents home for the June or December holidays so they could look after us. And how they mentioned reasons to have kids.... some -old- people would have kids for their legacy, their inheritance, particularly a male children. These norms
My mom volunteers to watch my daughter sometimes. I’m a fully single mom that lives with my mom. It’s mainly cause of COVID-19 that I don’t have my daughter in daycare. I pretty much take care of her 24/7 but if I really need her to watch my daughter she is willing to
My grandmother was willing to babysit me while my mom went to work. We all lived under the same roof at the time so it wasn’t nothing to her. My grandma always calls me her baby since she was with me more when I was a baby. lol
I agree, grandparents should not feel like they are being taken advantage of. They should be enjoying their lives because they have already raised their children.
I would ask my parents to babysit only in desperate times or when she wants to. My baby is my baby and i want to be there for the baby, even if it means sacrificing some sleep
I have seven amazing, wonderful blessings I had kids because I genuinely loved having children. I never expect any of them to do anything for me as their mom out of duty and obligation. They only do anything for me unless they genuinely want to and I tell them all the time me providing for you clothing you keeping you safe bed and a roof over your head that is what I was supposed to do as your mother. I tell my kids all the time they don’t owe me anything.
I let my girls know this early, however i did not mind helping out because they helped me out. I would help for work, however if it was to go out, i would make them bring me soda and cigs as a payment or whatever i needed. My girls dont treat me as a babysitter which is nice and i ask for my grandkids more often.
That’s what I say, if my kids start having kids, from the moment we have the sex talk, I’m letting them know Whether it was a teen pregnancy slip up or if they’re grown married and it was planned, they are raising that child not me. I’ll guide and support but they have to carry most of the burden
She's right. Grandparents are not built-in babysitters.
Also, 1st born children are *NOT* responsible for watching the younger siblings!!!!
Watch your own kids!!!!!
I agree with you or hire a Nanny, do not except your Mom or dad to always pick your kids up from school. now if you have to work late, then they may do it then, they have a life of there own. they have spend there life raising you. you need to raise your own kids
Right. Luckily, my parents never did that. I can’t stand seeing parents who have their older children take care of the young ones. Like who told you to have children?!
That 1st born part👏🏿 I saw how rebellious my oldest sibling got and I know for a fact that its due to them being forced to grow up so quickly by constantly having to care my other siblings and I.
@@bossytweed6664 I was the first boy, in my family and i know that feeling
DANCE Infinity I feel so bad for older siblings with that burden! I babysit my niece and nephew from time to time (out of obligation). I'm a grown woman and it annoys me so I couldn't imagine having to have dealt with that as a young kid. When I keep my niece and nephew I make sure I do everything for each of them myself, unless my nephew *wants* to help his younger sister with something I don't force him, I do it myself. I feel bad because I see their parent doing the complete opposite. I refuse to do that with my future kids.
Jeannie was right about some ppl having kids for selfish reasons!! That’s not talked about enough!
Jeannie Mai has a African-American fiance and she's talking about something that doesn't even matter when black men and women are getting killed every day by racist white police. This show is trash if they are not talking about reparations for African Americans what are we talkin about I'll tell you a bunch of nothing. That's why I try to tell people just because you are married or dating somebody black does not mean that you care about black issues.
aniya fjua I get what you’re saying but go complain on insta or something coz if you want them to talk about t they ain’t gonna read it here. & this video reallly wasn’t the place to comment that
@@aniyax4023 ma'am this was recorded b4 BLM. And you don't know if she's been secretly donating. And she HAS spoken about it. Who are you to judge how much someone speaks about this movement. You treat is like a trend with an expiration date. Leave.
aniya fjua what does blm have to do with this conversation.😂😂😂😂😂 you sound bitter cause her man chose someone that’s not black
@@aniyax4023 Dude Shutup that's not the topic man.
Grandparents already had and raised their own kids. They should not be obligated to babysit.
That's right, never let any person tend to your children who feel it's an obligation. We want children with people who want for the child's best. love, attention and dedication. No some grouchy old grandmother who don't want much to do with the grandchild. Bad for their self concept
My mom adores my son and he isn't a pain at all, but of course I don't take advantage of her, whenever I plan a date night I always give my mom up to a weeks notice if she can bc I know she too has a life
💯to everything Jeannie said.
@Roena Skates Why are you mad?
ohShnapss 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
ohShnapss I have *LEGIT* heard my friends say things like this - it pisses me off! 😤
Yess
@@sammierose1150 People in my family have said this to me along with other ridiculous reasons.
I took mine back and forth to school everyday for 2 years while caring for my sick father with cancer.. I helped my son with his son for over 2years during a very hard time. I did it because of the love I have for my family but after my son got a new girlfriend I received a break from doing all this and now I never see them any more. I was completely cut off. The biggest hurt a person could ever go through is this loss
Jeannie spoke truth. I've been called selfish for saying I'm not ready emotionally or financially to be a mom. When I asked what made them decide to be a parent thinking they would have an insightful response they said "because I'll have someone to love me and will take care of me in my old age." 😳😳😳
Omg😳🤪
I totally agree. Nothing wrong with your decision. I don't have children either. You can't be selfish towards babies that don't exist. But you are responsible not to bring babies if you are not sure that you could not do it right without regrets. And it can't be right if you are not ready - it would affect you children.
I don't have any kids either. And do you know how many times people told me well at least have 1 kid. So that they can take care of you when you get old.
I was so lucky that my grandma ran what we called “grandma daycare” for myself and my cousins when we were kids HOWEVER she loved it and specifically wanted to take care of us. There is NO WAY you should pressure your mom into doing that for you.
You have a wonderful grandma! My grandparents were like that when I was a child. I definitely wouldn't want that lady to be my relative!
My grandma too! It made all my cousins closer but all our parents paid her for her time :)
@@veronicaivanova maybe the mom was dumping the kids on her too often :( its nice when people offer but the worst when people expect/ demand
@@shellpoop2338, my grandma was a teacher, so during school holidays I would stay with her during the week, whilst my parents are at work, and I would stay with them in the weekend. Most grandparents would do anything to be with their grandkids where I come from, so I really can't relate to this lady. Also I find it weird to pay your parents to look after your kids, unless, of course, they have given up their job to look after the grandchildren or you are just helping them with money.
My grandma did the same thing! Me, my siblings and all my cousins grew up together because she would watch all of us in the summer❤️ But she was always a daycare worker no one forced her which was great cause she loved to watch us🥰❤️
I can say for myself my mother loves watching her grandchildren at anytime. There are times when I don't ask her to watch my kids and she'll call me and ask when are they spending the night. She told me she doesnt feel comfortable with some strangers in daycare watching my kids and possibly doing harm to them. I feel blessed to have a mother like mines. I truly compensate her so she doesnt feel like she is doing it for free.
every parent hopes the love and kindness they give, myself included, will keep our connection to family
She is soooooooo right! Take care of your OWN kids!
I love my grandkids and I don’t want to feel used but I don’t mind helping out in times of need. Life happens so I’m here to help but not full time.
👏👏
You're the best grandparent 😊
I agree
That is very kind. I think the biggest point is there is a huge difference based on expectations. There’s a huge difference between EXPECTING grandma/grandpa to babysit any time anywhere for any duration vs. KINDLY ASKING grandma/grandpa to occasionally babysit either with a lot of notice or during a rare emergency. If grandma/grandpa say no, you should also have other backups (friends, siblings, etc.) for true emergencies, and if it’s not an emergency you should be willing to stay home. If grandma/grandpa say no, it should never be held against them, and when they say yes you should always show up on time to pick the kids up and should always give grandma/grandpa a huge thank you. You are absolutely right that life happens, and when someone needs to be run to the ER we all can use a backup. Plus, I believe it’s important for grandkids to know their grandparents. But it is never owed, and it should be infrequent enough that grandparents still get to be grandparents rather than having to be parents. And grandparents certainly should never have to feel used.
*You want someone to take care of you when u get old* Jeannie spoke da TRUTH! Back in the day our grandparents or great-gps had hella kids just so they could have someone to help them.
in most African countries it's the opposite..they actually want you to have kids so they take care of them to an extent. but I understand why this can be a burden in America where most grandparents are still working and have Bill's to pay
Exactly. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing this. The key is to be considerate and communicate.
Yup! My mom helps when I need it for a random date night or course I need it take. They help me around once a week and my kids are happy bc they can bond with the grandparents. And in turn I will never put my parents in nursing homes when they get older. This is just not our culture. We all help eachother!
Not at all my african grandma (Fulani from Guinea) did not like taking care of her grandkids at all & I don’t blame her, I can often see the stress & regrets in her face when she talks about raising my brothers & I, she is just to afraid to say it like many other grandparents. That’s why I would give her more money & care than my birth mother(her daughter) because she is my true & real mother.
to an "extent" keyword
I raised you, YOU raise your child.
PERIOD.
I couldn't agree more! I'll bare children when I can AFFORD a nanny/babysitter. I am FIRMLY against using relatives for free childcare. I am the auntie that was taken advantage of because a relative of mine truly believes it is apart of aunt and grandparents responsibility to help with childcare. I couldn't imagine doing that to my relatives. Set you up a nanny cam and go through a good babysitting/nanny agency as there are TONS of responsible trustworthy young adults who would love the opportunity!
Imagine thinking spending time with your family is wrong so you'll pay a stranger to be around your kids instead 🤢🤮
Secret Whispers Imagine acting like its nit more likely for children to experience abuse from their family members than actual professionals.
@@bossytweed6664 Imagine thinking that is true when its actually not. Good excuse for being a shitty person though. Family members are 83% less likely to physically abuse or neglect a child compared to a stranger. Not to mention you just said they should hire a stranger instead of you spending time with your family because you'll abuse them. If you're that shitty of a person just go seclude yourself for the rest of your life so that no one is stuck having to breathe the same air as you
@@bossytweed6664 not to mention calling them "professionals" when over 90% of them never once took a true class or went to college in child development and so on. So nope youre just hiring a stranger.
Secret Whispers I mean I'm never going to agree with you so enjoy the rest of your weekend and stay healthy❤️
Jeannie looks bomb with this hairstyle!
Omg! Yes! 😍
She looks gorgeous!
Yes. It's the ONE hairstyle I love on litterly everyone including myself 😇
Love Jeannie's hairstyle. Also, I agree with the grandma. Raise Ur children right so they can take care of their own kids & not U raising their kids. Grandparents did their job raising their own kids. My mom had instilled in my bro & I since we were pre-teens., Dont bring any grandkids for her to take care of. I don't have children yet & I'm very proud of my bro, he handles his business (& is a doting dad).
If I was having a serious conversation with someone, I'd be annoyed that they were recording me.
So true, I was thinking "why would you record her?!"
That's so rude of her daughter to do that. She'll get a rude awakening one day soon.
Right! If anything, I would have been too embarrassed to post that!! But hey, to each their own
Jennie can have her own show. This girl can hold a stage solo.
Imoni M very true! She even backs down when someone interrupts HER. 👏🏽 although I hate it when the girls interrupt her!!
she is annoying, i would not watch
Caramel Lisha well the rest of us would
@@mxlinaaa7196 many people wouldnt.
She was the host in how do I look and I loved that TV show
Some of these kids are bad as hell... you can’t bank on grandma wanting to put up with that 😏
OKAY!!!
LOL!
Yeah,And the parents expect you to let them act the way they do at home at your house.No Ma'ma Im not putting up with the crap that your parents let you get away with.Thats why outside of my own Grands I refuse to watch certain children.These kids these days are too much for me.lol
Wow!!+
Preach Loni! There is no guarantee those kids you have will turn around and take care of you when you get older. No one should be pressured to have children nor should they automatically assume the grandparents will be the babysitters.
lonely
Omg I love Jeannie’s hair like that! So pretty 😩🥰💛
Lol yea people don't want to speak about the fact that parents pressure their kids to give them grand children. They also don't want to talk about the fact that some parents have kids so someone can take care of them in their old age. They also don't speak about how parents put pressure on the older kids to take care of the younger ones. Keep the same energy!
Adrienne looks STUNNING
Omg yes!!!
Check out my UA-cam channel! Spreading the knowledge✊🏿 Black knowledge is Black power! ua-cam.com/channels/I-cCXw5OZlTW8ZokeJCQwQ.html
look after your own damn kids! you had them, its your responsibility. don't pawn your kids off on someone, that's why you think before making them kids, its a lifetime responsibility
Right! Grandma and grandpa did not lay down and have those children so they should not have to put their lives on hold to raise them.
I couldn't imagine thinking spending time with your FAMILY is the parents "pawning" off their child. Yall sound miserable and lonely. 🤢🤮
Who gonna work and get enough money to support the baby and gramps
Also, some parents pressure their kids to give them grandchildren. When you do that be ready to become a babysitter. 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
Dahila VEROCIA_LIBILLY 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
hahahhaa agreed
This. Right. Here 🙄
I'm not having kids so you can gush over them for all of 10 mins then hand it right back to me, this is ours now 😂
🙊👀👀👀😂😂😂
Facts there the firsts peaple to say have kids but then there luje why you having kids i dont wanna take care of em
Yep I agree! That's why I'm childfree. If my momma wants to be a grandmother then she's going to be a full time babysitter. And since she's not down for that she zips her lips! Not UP in here! Lol
As soon as I retired the kids looked at my situation as an opportunity for free day care. it really upset me that they said that since I was retired, I had nothing else to do!
That is what they do! Sense of entitlement over YOUR time and energy.
Grandma's should be able to come get their grandchildren when they feel like spending time with them or babysitting them.They shouldn't feel obligated.And some of you parents take advantage of grandma and dont pick the kids up at the time you're suppose to.smh
@Kirsty Birsty Thats sad for those children that they will miss out on having a relationship with a Grandmother.
Tamera's hair🥰🥰❤️
Perfection.
Well also Kids aren’t built in babysitters, true parents take care of their children
Say it again for the people in the back!!!!
I agree but still try to let your kids have a good relationship with there grandparents they can learn so much. My best childhood memories are with my grandma
I have told my daughter that when she has kids they're HER kids. I get to enjoy their time, make cakes, read books, watch tv and talk together, but I don't do discipline. I will help my daughter if she ever NEEDS me, but she knows that once she has a baby 'private and fun time' are extinct until they leave home. She was brought up right so has no problem with this!!!!
I LOVE this lady. Good job for standing up for yourself. I wish my mom was this way, she feels the same way but wont say anything because she's afraid to lose the relationship with her son/my brother. SMH
Grandma raised some valid points 👏🏽
That’s why I always have mine. Nobody is going to throw anything in my face. However my babies grand parents are VERY helpful. My kids want for nothing thanks to us and them. 🖤🖤🖤
Jeannie's foxy eye makeup and look thoooo🔥
Jeannie would be such a great mother man
What Jeanine said is what I get told everytime I visit my family, that I should have kids so that I won’t be alone 🙄 honestly that’s not a valid reason to have kids
In the hispanic community (from what I've experienced), we do NOT trust daycare/random babysitters. Your mom, grandma, aunt, sister, mother-in-law, cousins, etc. always prefer you to leave your baby with them than leave them with complete strangers. However, there's a difference between them watching your kids for a couple hours then you leaving them to sleep over for days. So yes I agree that taking advantage of family is wrong.
I only trust THREE people to watch my twins & yes they are all family members. The only reason I feel comfortable with them going to school now is because they can speak & make me aware of any possible abuse. Before they could speak, hell no I would have neverrr. I am my children's protector & this is the way that works for me ! And my family is happy to help🙂
I respect The Hispanic community because y’all are the true definition of it takes a village to raise a child
I agree with these grandmas. You had kids, you raise them.
My mom told me if you have children, don't bring that baby to me! I will love your baby and spoil your baby but I will not be a babysitter!
My husband mum and dad said that when we got married... they changed there minds when we had a baby lol but we already had it in our minds the baby doesn't get babysat we have babies to raise them ourselves.
How do you spoil and love a child you don't babysit?
It's 💯true let them enjoy their golden years in peace, I and my sister give our blessing to our mum go back home AkA Africa. We wanted her to rest and be happy.
That’s why I always have mine. Nobody is going to throw anything in my face.
As it should be
@@starsworld6016 no not as it should be. Your child should be able to spend time with their family members without it being thrown in the parents face. 💯 this is why yall are lonely and miserable af and have no game connections. You think spending time with yojr family members is a burden then wonder why no one gives af about you when you need help
Same girl.. my daughter has the 2 worst grandmothers in the world.. never calls or asks about their grand daughter
I wish you weren’t taught to feel this way. Everyone needs a break! It’s a difference between support and taking advantage of someone. I always have my child due to my lack of support system. He’s had to witness me at my lowest when all I needed was an hour to regroup. This is the way we are being taught to raise kids in 2020.
When I was 15-16 I used to say I want to have kids so they can take care of me when I’m old. I’m 19 now and and I know that is the most selfish thing I’ve ever thought of.
My mom hates being a babysitter all day and she watched my son for When we go out for Valentine’s Day our anniversary and birthdays but we never just drop him off when we got nothing going on. People are selfish nowadays
My sister needs to hear this.
She stay throwing off her kids on my mom.
Several women in my family are stuck raising their grandkids.
Grandma was fed up, lol!! Yes, some grandmas are like her, and others want to babysit their grandchildren all the time. 💖
There is a difference between having an arrangement with your parents for them to watch your children (while at work or for a date night) vs just being completely inconsiderate and EXPECTING them to watch them. My mom and mother in-law watch my 2 girls while my husband and I work. It's not just because daycare is expensive, I don't want my children being abused or getting sick. We also work out schedules and if one of our moms wants a break or needs one (because they deserve it for simply helping us) we move things to make it work. Not everyone is mooching.
My mom feels obligated to babysit my sister’s children. I blame mom because she doesn’t know when to stop giving too much of herself. Thank goodness I thought myself how to have boundaries!
This applies to friends and family. I think its so rude to burden friends and family with babysitting your kids. A once a week kid swap that goes both ways with both friends, both sisters etc is cool but not when its one way and you are taking advantage of your friends and families kindness. I do not want a friendship based on need (babysitting). Actions speak louder than words. If you are saying to me you want to build a good friendship then treating your friends like an on call babysitter is just rude. If the babysitting is mutual, planned out, you are considerate of each other's time and you are not burdening your friends or family because boundaries have already be addressed so yall know what each other is and isnt willing to commit to then yes that is a better way to have a healthy relationship.
I love. Love her ❤❤❤.. She was very honest
Tamera LOOKS SO BOMB I love her natural look 😍🥰
My nana used to watch me but she made it clear she wanted to watch me and my cousins. Especially because my mama was a single mom. But she always asked and if my nana couldn’t we would find alternatives. My mama was like she’s my kid so I get to raise her but you get to spoil her with love and support.
I was like Jeannie looking 😍 then I saw Adrienne & was like ❤️🥰🔥😘😍👀
I’m ready when y’all are, to have a conversation on the selfish reason ppl have kids. I’ve heard “ it’s nice to have someone love me””oh they’re my retirement plan”. It’s funny bc the tables have turned im edging towards my 30s & my parents are begging for grandchildren.
I’m telling my kids this too lol 🤣🤣
Grandma PREACHED da word!!
And she’s NOT wrong.
I’m super lucky my parents volunteer for this kind of stuff ♥️ no pressure needed
She is right. But....not alot of grandparents feel that way. Some are proud and love to watch their grandchildren. Even though one is suppose to support their kids grandparents do help out as well. My kids grandma& grandpa help out all the time. I help them out too. That is called family helping family.
Amen! Aint no one love their Grands more than me. But im not their parent. Im a bonus. Not to be abused.
It fkn suxks when grandparents take care of some of their grandkids and not the others.
People expecting their parents to babysit their children are narcissistic and entitled. After that they will even put their parents to old people's homes. Disgusting.
I'm soon to be turning 60 years old, and at the rate my grown son dating desire is to remain single, it won't be for another 5 to 10 years before something happens between he and his old lady begin to procreate and turn me and my beautiful wife of (man, we show is old) years into grandparents, and when that day arrives: WE AIN'T GONNA BE SOMEBODY'S HUMAN BABYSITTING DUMPING GROUND!!
I Love Jeannie's hair and outfit!
So true and I wish they woildve thrown in there how the oldest child isnt a baby sitter either or shouldn't have to parent the child....thats wrong on sooo many levels
I hire a babysitter when I go to work but she would stay at my mums house just for supervision. The babysitter would take care of everything and my mum can enjoy playing with her grandchild whenever she wants. If my mum has to go out she just turns on the babycam for me so I can watch her while she goes and comes back.
I can't stand when parents' get overly-excited about their kids turning 18 because they "can't wait for them to get out of the house," so they have a break. You should have thought about that before you had sex. Nobody asked to be born.
For real tho
Having a kid doesn’t mean you can no longer enjoy your life independently once they are 18 and old enough to be independent. It isn’t a life sentence.
Amen!!!
@@pmp3486 I agree, but I'm talking about a specific type of parent though. The ones that say snarky comments when it's not the kids' fault that they're here. They should enjoy life independently but not make the kids feel like they were a curse.
@@oceanwaves8589 Every single kind of kid. Actually raising a child for 18 years is stressful and exhausting.
Oh but when my mom forced me to constantly watch and help raise my little siblings everyday she didn’t have a problem .....
She is right however my mother refused to babysit when my child was a baby while I was going to college and working and it was very hard for me. I didn’t expect her to everyday but every once in a while it would’ve helped. Especially when I was sick which happened often working full time and going to school with an infant. I made it however now she is always asking to keep them every weekend and I tell her no. You couldn’t when I absolutely needed you, you can’t keep them now that I don’t need you. A big issue with her is she tells my kids to do things I don’t allow in my home then they come back misbehaving.
I love her accent when she said secure
Loni looks so stunning 💯💯💯💯💯
I think this applies to any relative not only your mother. But don't expect or put pressure on your brother or sister to be there to babysit your kids or pick them up from wherever. They are your children and your responsibilities.
Yet, when I and a lot of black kids were growing up, as the older kid I was left to babysit my younger siblings that I didn’t ask you to have -.-
If my siblings did stupid things I get blamed for it.
That’s screwed up and abusive on you. It’s called parentification 😣 blaming all on you is also abusive. You may already know but sharing in case you weren’t aware.
It was your choice to have children so is your problem to deal with it, nobody elses.
I mean, there is definitely an issue with people not taking care of their kids and dumping them on grandparents, aunts, uncles, whoever (hey, sis!). But I really do believe there is an issue with this whole "the moment you turn 18 you're on your own, you need to wholly support your kids, no help or you shouldn't have them" thing. None of these women, except perhaps Tamera, would be here if their parents felt that way. They lived in the projects, ffs! No, the problem is that we DO need to continue to support each other throughout life. This isn't some selfish "I need my parent's support" thing. I realized this when I lost my mom, and now my dad is left, all alone, even poorer than ever. He needs that support from me...and when my husband and I have kids, he can be that support for us.
Tamera looks so good!! 😍😍 it’s the hair and earrings for me 😍
That is why I am glad I do not have children. In my late forties and not missing anything.🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
You will still need a break in your 40s.
my mother in-law is pressuring me to have kids so she can take them and raise them !!!! i want to raise my own kids !!
I feel like in Hispanic culture is a little different. A lot of us are raised by our grandparents , I wasn’t but a lot of my cousins were. Maybe some grandmas are just kinda rude but my mom said that she would take care of my kids any time, and she would love it. Maybe because I’m an only child and she always wanted more children so she loves the idea of having another kid to help raise.
Yea it’s very sad
Lol🤣..Kudos to Grandmas!
Grand mama damn right🔥🔥🔥
There’s no such thing as accidental pregnancies, so if you can’t afford em don’t breed em. I don’t know people treat having kids as child’s play, it takes love, dedication, time, and money when you chose to have kids. Grandparents should be enjoying their retirement and the rest of their life, not being stuck as a babysitter.
No No No slamm dunk, let's get this in our heads!
Jeannie looks great 🥺❤️
South African norms are soooo different when it comes to grandparents. We are all different ❤
What is the norm?
@@lesegophokanoka6363 Hay :). A lot of young girls leave children with their parents to finish school, or even working parents leaving their children to their parents to work in other places (or provinces) -many children are raised by their grandparents (or in multigenerational homes)
Thinking about times where we were left at our grandparents home for the June or December holidays so they could look after us.
And how they mentioned reasons to have kids.... some -old- people would have kids for their legacy, their inheritance, particularly a male children.
These norms
Grandparents don't want to "baby sit" BUT they don't listen when you tell them not to do something with your kid.
My mom volunteers to watch my daughter sometimes. I’m a fully single mom that lives with my mom. It’s mainly cause of COVID-19 that I don’t have my daughter in daycare. I pretty much take care of her 24/7 but if I really need her to watch my daughter she is willing to
My grandmother was willing to babysit me while my mom went to work. We all lived under the same roof at the time so it wasn’t nothing to her. My grandma always calls me her baby since she was with me more when I was a baby. lol
I agree, grandparents should not feel like they are being taken advantage of. They should be enjoying their lives because they have already raised their children.
Say it louder for the people in the back! ❤
I would ask my parents to babysit only in desperate times or when she wants to. My baby is my baby and i want to be there for the baby, even if it means sacrificing some sleep
I have seven amazing, wonderful blessings I had kids because I genuinely loved having children. I never expect any of them to do anything for me as their mom out of duty and obligation. They only do anything for me unless they genuinely want to and I tell them all the time me providing for you clothing you keeping you safe bed and a roof over your head that is what I was supposed to do as your mother. I tell my kids all the time they don’t owe me anything.
I hate that too having all these kids looking for someone to take care of them
Daaaaaaang Jeannie looks so pretty here!!!!!
I would rather watch my grandkids than have strangers watch them.so many messed up things happen at daycares.
I let my girls know this early, however i did not mind helping out because they helped me out. I would help for work, however if it was to go out, i would make them bring me soda and cigs as a payment or whatever i needed. My girls dont treat me as a babysitter which is nice and i ask for my grandkids more often.
Lol. Well, I can appreciate my mom even more now and am grateful she's not like other grandmas.
That’s what I say, if my kids start having kids, from the moment we have the sex talk, I’m letting them know Whether it was a teen pregnancy slip up or if they’re grown married and it was planned, they are raising that child not me. I’ll guide and support but they have to carry most of the burden
Well she said it how she is! Granny got a life!