My Parents don't make any attempt to call/text or visit. They haven't seen my kids in 7 years. I'm not making an effort to visit anymore either - it's always been us visiting them. Never any effort on their part. If it was important to them, they would try. 🤷♀️
My husband and I went above and beyond visiting our adult children and grandchildren for the first years of our grandchildrens lives. The adult children decided to stop visiting us or bringing the children to visit us. We continued to go to visit them and watch the kids and their dog's. We even adopted my daughters dog when she had our first grandson because she was so stressed. My daughter hasn't bought our grandson to visit since he was 2 years old, because it's too stressful to drive with children. My grandson is now 6 and his sister is 2 and my son has only bought his son to visit once last year when he was 3. We flew to California when he was born to help out with my DIL because my son was deployed. We picked up his dog and drove him to their new home when he got transferred to VA and went to visit them twice there. We now live in WV, in a new home in a nice neighborhood with children their age and more room for them to play and a backyard. The drive is still the same distance, but they still say it's too much. But they have no problem driving to their cousins house, which is about a 15-minute more drive. I'm over it. I know we have beenopen andd understanding. When is enough, enough? Im not going to be taken advantage of and disrespected anymore. I'll still go visit when I can. I truly love them, but I will not feel bad for anything in this situation. How will the grandchildren even feel comfortable in our home if they dont even see it, with the parents there? They need some since of security before being left overnight anywhere. I can't afford to take multiple days off work to go to Jersey and VA to babysit because they just want to use me as a convenient babysitter. This is really sad. Im going to just pray it gets better. In the meantime, I'm going to just wait until my grandchildren are old enough to call me, and we'll build a healthy relationship then.
I finally got my mother to come to one of my son’s soccer games. She spent the entire game on the phone, facing away from the game in the empty lot next the field. Her: I don’t know why he doesn’t come visit me! You get what you give.
I'm struggling with this because my sister seems to make constant bad decisions that could jeopardize the living situation of her and her children, but our parents and grandparents seem to CONSTANTLY cater to help my sister. It makes me so sad for my son and unborn child that they don't get to see those people as often because they're always too busy helping my sister and her children.
Oh man, this one hurts. Are they reasonable enough people to explain this to? Your comment alone was put well enough to run by them and see what kind of feedback you get. You made my stranger heart hurt just reading it and I imagine if they love you and care about you that they would also Be interested to know how this is affecting you.
My baby boomer parents were diagnosed with BPD. I suspect many grandparents of that time who are also not involved with the grandchildren have undiagnosed BPD.
My parents and my wife's parents will not visit us because we left their religious group and moved away. I thought/hoped things would change when we had a child, but they continue to make almost no effort to have a relationship with their grandson. Even when we've asked them to come visit us, they've told us that it's too much trouble or that they need to pray about it. I wish they had any self-awareness whatsoever to realize that they may be (part of) the problem.
Yep. I had a monster mil that refused to come visit because we moved away. She was the main reason we moved away. We needed some separation there. She would take trips to see friends in South America, and States close by, but never set foot in our city. My kids hardly knew her. But we would go visit her when we could. We would offer flight and hotel to mom, after all it was cheaper than buying 4 round trip tickets, but she never did come visit. When we all had lan lines, she would call and not engage in conversation with the kids or myself. She would just ask for my husband. Very awkward. Once cellphones were available she called & texted hubby all the time. But, we did not hear from her. She just died at the age of 93 & no one on this side of the family miss her at all. Even my hubby is just relieved he doesn’t have to field her excessive amounts of calls and VMs. It was super disrespectful to my husband and our family. She never validated any of our accomplishments, or birthdays or even holidays. She just expressed worry covertly to her son, concerned if he was truly happy. She was the definition of a narcissist and she needed control. It was best that we moved away, but sad for all of us that she could never validate our family unit. Apparently she was super concerned that I was not good enough for her son.
I have a daughter that is abusive. Has been abusive since she was 14 and rebellious. She didn’t see me get much respect from her father and picks apart everything I do and say. I stopped talking with her in the room many years ago, I fear her, I never call her anymore because it upsets her…if she will even answer. I am only supposed to use text anyway…that is the rules. I heard her husband forced her to get anger management classes, but have never had a conversation about that with either of them. I have a great relationship with my grandchildren because I used to watch them once a week for free, but they moved 4 hours away a couple of years ago and if I see them I can’t just leave and go home. I can’t tell you how many times she has made her children cry acting out on me. I have been thrown out of her home for cooking eggs from the wrong carton in the fridge. I am tired of being called names like stupid, lazy, untimely to her needs, it is not possible to buy the right gift, or fold the towels, or wash the dishes correctly and without toxic abuse. I suffer from panic attacks now and stopped trying. I had a couple of life changing bad things happen to me the last 5 years that contributed to being diagnosed with PTSD. I can’t afford a hotel to stay in her town since I retired and the thought of being shamed and told I am useless and told to get out of her house in front of the children is more than I can do anymore. I used to drive 8-9 hours round trip to see them but my PTSD has progressed to the point I am a recluse since Covid. Her husband will drop them off to stay with me a few times a year when they want to cruise or vacation without them, but I quietly refuse to go to her house anymore. I have cried a river over this. But I am not going to let her abuse me in front of the children anymore. I would rather go away and stay away than put them through the fear anymore. I am told …by her…that I am the only person that can upset her like that so I the deserve the abuse she can’t help. I prefer they not see it or I have a panic attack far away from home. I gave up.
We’re so sorry to hear this. We are sending all of our love to you and your family and praying that the situation resolves in a way that best serves you all. 😔🤍
@@JT0007 I have. I have even apologized for scenarios from her childhood that she claims made her feel less than 100% supported. Like when her teacher felt she was less than kind or respectful. Bottom line is she’s a narcissist. She will say anything and slander and gaslight….best to be quiet and not get into a ditch with her.
@@JT0007 I never skipped a day being a parent. I didn’t even vacation without my children. They ate what we ate. If we ate steak and lobster …they got steak and lobster. I find it odd and rude to assume the parent was always the one that isn’t taking life seriously, and trying to make it work.
my in laws chose to vacation on their own and not see grand kid for two years and told us face time and photos of her are enough , made your choices. Kid doesn't recognize them
If that kid is anything like I was the hatred inside them will swell to a deep ocean... I hate my grandmother to this day and she has been dead for twenty years.
My Parents don't make any attempt to call/text or visit. They haven't seen my kids in 7 years. I'm not making an effort to visit anymore either - it's always been us visiting them. Never any effort on their part. If it was important to them, they would try. 🤷♀️
Same. My kids don't even know them. Screw 'em. Good riddance.
It's a very tough situation to be in. We are extremely sorry to hear this. Wishing you and your family the best.
They
Don’t care about your kids or your family I would never speak to them again
@@richardtrento7409 I have completely disconnected ❤️
Maybe they don’t like grandkids.
We live 6 hours from my granddaughters. It’s difficult. We see them about 3 times a year. I miss them so much. Thank God for FaceTime. ❤️
My husband and I went above and beyond visiting our adult children and grandchildren for the first years of our grandchildrens lives. The adult children decided to stop visiting us or bringing the children to visit us. We continued to go to visit them and watch the kids and their dog's. We even adopted my daughters dog when she had our first grandson because she was so stressed. My daughter hasn't bought our grandson to visit since he was 2 years old, because it's too stressful to drive with children. My grandson is now 6 and his sister is 2 and my son has only bought his son to visit once last year when he was 3. We flew to California when he was born to help out with my DIL because my son was deployed. We picked up his dog and drove him to their new home when he got transferred to VA and went to visit them twice there. We now live in WV, in a new home in a nice neighborhood with children their age and more room for them to play and a backyard. The drive is still the same distance, but they still say it's too much. But they have no problem driving to their cousins house, which is about a 15-minute more drive. I'm over it. I know we have beenopen andd understanding. When is enough, enough? Im not going to be taken advantage of and disrespected anymore. I'll still go visit when I can. I truly love them, but I will not feel bad for anything in this situation. How will the grandchildren even feel comfortable in our home if they dont even see it, with the parents there? They need some since of security before being left overnight anywhere. I can't afford to take multiple days off work to go to Jersey and VA to babysit because they just want to use me as a convenient babysitter. This is really sad. Im going to just pray it gets better. In the meantime, I'm going to just wait until my grandchildren are old enough to call me, and we'll build a healthy relationship then.
I finally got my mother to come to one of my son’s soccer games. She spent the entire game on the phone, facing away from the game in the empty lot next the field.
Her: I don’t know why he doesn’t come visit me!
You get what you give.
I'm struggling with this because my sister seems to make constant bad decisions that could jeopardize the living situation of her and her children, but our parents and grandparents seem to CONSTANTLY cater to help my sister. It makes me so sad for my son and unborn child that they don't get to see those people as often because they're always too busy helping my sister and her children.
Nothing to do with the problem
Oh man, this one hurts. Are they reasonable enough people to explain this to? Your comment alone was put well enough to run by them and see what kind of feedback you get. You made my stranger heart hurt just reading it and I imagine if they love you and care about you that they would also Be interested to know how this is affecting you.
My baby boomer parents were diagnosed with BPD. I suspect many grandparents of that time who are also not involved with the grandchildren have undiagnosed BPD.
That is a very difficult situation to be in. Did that affect your upbringing at all?
Why does it seem like so many Boomers have BPD?? My mother is one of them.
You cannot force people to love someone. Even if they are part of a family.
this was a tough one to find out for me
My parents and my wife's parents will not visit us because we left their religious group and moved away. I thought/hoped things would change when we had a child, but they continue to make almost no effort to have a relationship with their grandson. Even when we've asked them to come visit us, they've told us that it's too much trouble or that they need to pray about it. I wish they had any self-awareness whatsoever to realize that they may be (part of) the problem.
We are so so sorry to hear about this. How do you think you will handle this situation from here?
Yep. I had a monster mil that refused to come visit because we moved away. She was the main reason we moved away. We needed some separation there. She would take trips to see friends in South America, and States close by, but never set foot in our city. My kids hardly knew her. But we would go visit her when we could. We would offer flight and hotel to mom, after all it was cheaper than buying 4 round trip tickets, but she never did come visit. When we all had lan lines, she would call and not engage in conversation with the kids or myself. She would just ask for my husband. Very awkward. Once cellphones were available she called & texted hubby all the time. But, we did not hear from her. She just died at the age of 93 & no one on this side of the family miss her at all. Even my hubby is just relieved he doesn’t have to field her excessive amounts of calls and VMs. It was super disrespectful to my husband and our family. She never validated any of our accomplishments, or birthdays or even holidays. She just expressed worry covertly to her son, concerned if he was truly happy. She was the definition of a narcissist and she needed control. It was best that we moved away, but sad for all of us that she could never validate our family unit. Apparently she was super concerned that I was not good enough for her son.
I have a daughter that is abusive. Has been abusive since she was 14 and rebellious. She didn’t see me get much respect from her father and picks apart everything I do and say. I stopped talking with her in the room many years ago, I fear her, I never call her anymore because it upsets her…if she will even answer. I am only supposed to use text anyway…that is the rules. I heard her husband forced her to get anger management classes, but have never had a conversation about that with either of them. I have a great relationship with my grandchildren because I used to watch them once a week for free, but they moved 4 hours away a couple of years ago and if I see them I can’t just leave and go home. I can’t tell you how many times she has made her children cry acting out on me. I have been thrown out of her home for cooking eggs from the wrong carton in the fridge. I am tired of being called names like stupid, lazy, untimely to her needs, it is not possible to buy the right gift, or fold the towels, or wash the dishes correctly and without toxic abuse. I suffer from panic attacks now and stopped trying. I had a couple of life changing bad things happen to me the last 5 years that contributed to being diagnosed with PTSD. I can’t afford a hotel to stay in her town since I retired and the thought of being shamed and told I am useless and told to get out of her house in front of the children is more than I can do anymore. I used to drive 8-9 hours round trip to see them but my PTSD has progressed to the point I am a recluse since Covid. Her husband will drop them off to stay with me a few times a year when they want to cruise or vacation without them, but I quietly refuse to go to her house anymore. I have cried a river over this. But I am not going to let her abuse me in front of the children anymore. I would rather go away and stay away than put them through the fear anymore. I am told …by her…that I am the only person that can upset her like that so I the deserve the abuse she can’t help. I prefer they not see it or I have a panic attack far away from home. I gave up.
We’re so sorry to hear this. We are sending all of our love to you and your family and praying that the situation resolves in a way that best serves you all. 😔🤍
You must have not been there for her as a kid. Maybe ask her why she’s mad. 🫡🇺🇸🇮🇱🏴
@@JT0007 I have. I have even apologized for scenarios from her childhood that she claims made her feel less than 100% supported. Like when her teacher felt she was less than kind or respectful. Bottom line is she’s a narcissist. She will say anything and slander and gaslight….best to be quiet and not get into a ditch with her.
@@JT0007 I never skipped a day being a parent. I didn’t even vacation without my children. They ate what we ate. If we ate steak and lobster …they got steak and lobster. I find it odd and rude to assume the parent was always the one that isn’t taking life seriously, and trying to make it work.
my in laws chose to vacation on their own and not see grand kid for two years and told us face time and photos of her are enough , made your choices. Kid doesn't recognize them
If that kid is anything like I was the hatred inside them will swell to a deep ocean... I hate my grandmother to this day and she has been dead for twenty years.
Te doresc mult Niko armasaro
Good vid
We appreciate it!
Did you stop making videos? 🫡🇺🇸🇮🇱🏴