Thank you for your presentation and validation. The sad part one narcissistic parent can effect the family system like a disease. It effects you personally especially when you the rebel or scapegoat as a kid you think is your fault but when you grow up to an Adult especially having children and seeing parents scapegoat your own children and you never good enough or your own children are never good enough to the family system is sad. No matter how hard you try, or try to communicate with them in hopes to explain or make sense to them or be there for them and fix it you will never do sadly. Siblings and family members are pitted against each other everyone is angry at each other, bitter no one wants to talk, triangulation and shame exists and always you are at fault. Of course in the beginning you start wondering if you are the narcissist or is something wrong with you because you have everyone pointing the finger on to you. And when you start searching slowly you understand isn't you but the narcissistic disease that has spread to the family system. The more you try to defend your self or in hopes to fix it or get along the worst it gets. I really don't know how to have compassion for these people when they don't deserve any because each time you had compassion and empathy and kept trying to please them or don't rock the boat and kept apologizing they got worse and miss treating you. I believe no contact is the only solution especially when you are the Scapegoat the problem is not the narcissistic parent or parents anymore in later years but the siblings or extended family that they don't care to see what is happening and are apathetic towards the scapegoat and isolate you and blame you and your family you create. I believe they should educate young generations about narcissistic behavior in families and how it metaphor to the rest of the family members. The only one who can see this is the scapegoat slowly because is never good enough. Thank you for your excellent speach.
I had such a sudden epiphany watching this lecture. Regarding how we question ourselves, and I thought about how he said the narcissist doesn't question themselves. Maybe it is kind of like when someone doesn't blink, so your eyes water and you blink for them. You can help it. Perhaps, as well as the projection and gaslighting and manipulation and toxic shame, we also end up doubting ourselves simply because the narcissist doesn't, and we naturally try to correct that interpersonal imbalance.
Thank you for your presentation and validation. The sad part one narcissistic parent can effect the family system like a disease. It effects you personally especially when you the rebel or scapegoat as a kid you think is your fault but when you grow up to an Adult especially having children and seeing parents scapegoat your own children and you never good enough or your own children are never good enough to the family system is sad. No matter how hard you try, or try to communicate with them in hopes to explain or make sense to them or be there for them and fix it you will never do sadly. Siblings and family members are pitted against each other everyone is angry at each other, bitter no one wants to talk, triangulation and shame exists and always you are at fault. Of course in the beginning you start wondering if you are the narcissist or is something wrong with you because you have everyone pointing the finger on to you. And when you start searching slowly you understand isn't you but the narcissistic disease that has spread to the family system. The more you try to defend your self or in hopes to fix it or get along the worst it gets. I really don't know how to have compassion for these people when they don't deserve any because each time you had compassion and empathy and kept trying to please them or don't rock the boat and kept apologizing they got worse and miss treating you. I believe no contact is the only solution especially when you are the Scapegoat the problem is not the narcissistic parent or parents anymore in later years but the siblings or extended family that they don't care to see what is happening and are apathetic towards the scapegoat and isolate you and blame you and your family you create. I believe they should educate young generations about narcissistic behavior in families and how it metaphor to the rest of the family members. The only one who can see this is the scapegoat slowly because is never good enough. Thank you for your excellent speach.
I read a few of his articles on psychology today. I wish he had his own channel.
S Everly Me too! 😊
I had such a sudden epiphany watching this lecture. Regarding how we question ourselves, and I thought about how he said the narcissist doesn't question themselves.
Maybe it is kind of like when someone doesn't blink, so your eyes water and you blink for them. You can help it.
Perhaps, as well as the projection and gaslighting and manipulation and toxic shame, we also end up doubting ourselves simply because the narcissist doesn't, and we naturally try to correct that interpersonal imbalance.