This episode hit me hard....You know that moment in Amelie where she describes the world to the blind man. I feel this way about this episode. I feel validated and optimistic. Thank you so much for this episode!!!!
I love that scene in my all time favorite movie. When she leaves him, she looks up towards the sky and her heart glows out of her chest and seems to emanate into the universe. I feel that way all the time. I love how they animate her feelings throughout the movie. Like the way she melts into a puddle when Nino comes into her café. ❤️
I've been called a sensitive person for as long as I can remember. People always say "don't take it to heart" but it's hard when you feel everything so deeply...
Can’t believe someone else/so many others feel the absolute exact same as me when I’ve been made to feel so ‘dramatic’ as you guys put it. Thank you for this video! Really informative and helped me understand myself better
I am a HSP and it’s very difficult to be understood sometimes. I am very happy to be listening to this. Dr. Kirk, I have been following you for a while and your advice on expressing our feelings more openly has helped me a lot with my social interactions. Thank you Dr. Kirk :)
4 Key Markers of this personality trait: Depth of Processing- processing details of our environment Overstimulation- taking in so much information at once Empathy- attuned to other people's feelings Sensitivity to subtleties- feel energy, sounds, smells, etc in a room that others might not
Crying with this episode 😭 I forget sometimes how there’s others like me, and when I hear someone else talk about it and explain the same feelings I have, I remember I’m not alone. It can be so isolating just being shamed for it from all angles all my life. I wish more people knew how very real it is, and why it’s not easy for me to just stop overthinking or having anxiety from being overwhelmed/flooded. If I could I would but I literally can’t help it ); it makes me feel like such a burden when I feel like I’m drowning in thoughts and emotions over such minute things. But at least I’m aware, and I can be there for myself, and the ones truly close to me get me and are patient with me for the most part. I hope all my fellow hsp’s have good people around them who are patient and understanding as well 🙏🏻 thanks for reviewing this topic dr Kirk!!!
I'm definitely on the spectrum, cried a lot as a child and felt neglected even though objectively I wasn't I probably just needed more attention than a different personality trait. Also regarding empathy, i go about confused most of the day because I'm astounded by how people treat others, e.g the people on the train that didn't give their seat to a pregnant woman (or didn't even notice) can hurt me for a whole day. Being conscientious and considerate towards people and my surroundings makes me an excellent nurse, but it burns me out more than the average nurse as I can't help but put in 150% of my energy into the job. I feel it's much harder to live in this society the way I am and I day dream of my 5 year plan when I'll be leaving the city and going to join my husband's family in a small island village next to the mountains and the sea, away from all the 'noise' Oh and my father is more sensitive than me so I believe the genetic line of thinking
I am the same way, I can't watch any "rescue abused dogs" videos on youtube because I actually FEEL the pain on the screen, and I can't even read about abuse to a child.
Oh my goodness, I finally feel understood. Up until I started listening to this episode, up until just a couple of hours ago, I thought there has always been something wrong with me but just couldn't say what. Okay maybe not "wrong" but that I am different. Imagine living this way for almost 40 years supressing things about yourself to not seem rude or weak 🤯 Thank you for this episode ❤️
I consider myself an HSP- but I love being outside both with headphones - but also without them. I really enjoy seeing what’s different each day, what flowers are out, what birds are singing, etc.
"HSPs who have a stable/supportive childhood aren't prone to anxiety" Then there's me, over here breathing into a bag at the thought of day-to-day functions. Also... Wait... There are HSPs raised without trauma? 🤔
@@lindav1189 I feel ya there. My maternal relationship was abusive in all of the ways that I can think of (except sexual, she never did that). I think that some HSPs are born and, through nurturing, they learn to cope with the world and the mass amounts of data being thrown at them at any given moment. And then there are others who's parents make it worse, leading to lifelong issues and, essentially, an inability to cope/interact. Elaine Aron's book talks about reparenting yourself, basically from infancy, and it helped me a little. The knowledge that I'm not alone in my HSP helped me immensely.
Re: Dr Kirk not being able to stand long distance running, genetically we have different proportions of type 1 muscle fibers (slow-twitch, evolved for aerobic endurance activities) and type 2 muscle fibers (fast-twitch, evolved for explosive resistance activities). For example, since being a teenager I physically and mentally cannot stand sprinting but I'm fine running a 5k. My father is the same! You can train both types of muscle but the proportions will remain the same.
I have pretty bad anxiety and I always attributed these things to anxiety and I attributed the anxiety to trauma but it makes sense that if I am an HSP, I am more easily traumatized than say, my siblings and being an HSP makes my anxiety even worse just because there is so much more to be anxious about. This is incredibly fascinating and eye opening
I had no idea about this, but WOW this describes me so well and I feel so understood for the first time in my life. Thank you so much for this, this means so much to me. I'm currently in the process of tailoring my life to suit my needs (working from home with a high-maintenance dog and also doing freelance art) and I feel so validated. Not to mention the fact that I can't wear rings, bracelets, headbands, or, the worst one of all: tight jeans lol. I have to take a 1-2 week break after I finish a book because it feels like I need all that time to process it and feel all the things I want to feel and the thought of jumping straight into a separate story sounds exhausting. Needing stimulation while doing mundane tasks (gotta listen to something while I'm showering or else I get bored haha), our relationship with music/podcasts, needing to choose the stimulus, etc. This is so insightful. Just as an aside: I'd love to know more about this and misophonia. I can't handle the sound of loud gum chewing, when men play with their facial hair, and certain repeated noises and I wonder if this is more of a HSP trait.
Misophonia wasn't mentioned and I am curious. Especially as you talked about food. I love food. I love to cook, to create and to taste and look forward to every meal and what I am going to cook. I love to feed people and I love it when they love my food. It gives me the warm fuzzies. But; if I have to listen to people eating, I go nuts. I can't stand it. Now, I am okay if I am eating while others are eating but I can't be around anyone eating if I am not. I took the test and scored 25. Ha, ha, ha! It made me laugh. My husband just nodded and nodded. He still can't hear that the toilet is running.
Thank you for this! I've just recently found out that this condition exists and this helped me understand the way I am. Growing up, I have been bullied, called weak, and even hardly left on my own because of this. My family didn't think I could manage things on my own because I was "too emotional". I grew up learning to have this 'front' where people can see me as calm, composed, and strong, just so people would give me my independence and would start thinking that I am not as weak as they see me. It was so hard to understand as a kid. I felt normal but whenever I would feel all these things in me, I would get reminded of how odd I am. The 'front' helped me gain confidence (it's like fake it 'til you make it) and helped me to stop and think rationally whenever I feel so much. Now, everyone around me wonders why I am so composed even in highly stressful situations. But you know, I am still the same person, just with this front that I don't know now how to drop. I still feel soooo much, but most of the time, I'm the only one who knows because I don't let it show. Knowing about HSP is what's currently helping me embrace my emotions. It really takes understanding and acceptance of who we are to be truly free. When I was younger, I thought having this 'front' would make me free. But it's embracing the highly sensitive person that I am that is setting me free now. Wish me well on my journey.
An aunt of mine would have a little TV or radio on in every single room, especially after she was widowed. I kept asking her to turn each apparatus on as we were moving from room to room...
This video is life-changing. Beyond extreme sensitivity about things like smells, sounds, sensations (zero clothing tags and all cotton linens only LOL) the other component of feeling things so deeply makes being a person who cares about and works toward social justice personally quite painful. It somehow makes me feel better to hear that this is genetic in someway because my mother and daughter are also HSP And our empathy for others is sometimes dismissed as “you are too sensitive” so it’s comforting to know we are in good company.
oh yea if I feel or think someone’s upset at me I am crying. and I used to never be able to sleep cause my brother would leave his TV on and it would make the worst buzzing noise and I was the only one who could hear it
Wow, this made me cry. As an HSP growing up with a mother who had Bi polar disorder, it was so tough. It's great to realise that HSP is real, I always thought that it was a result of my childhood.
me tooo! Both parents were abusive, I thought I was "bad" and instead of showing my hurt, I sucked it down and it turned into anger and depression and therapy for 20 YEARS.
@@lindav1189 Thanks for sharing, it's great way to lessen the feeling of being the only one. I too turned the anger and pain inwards resulting in depression and anxiety. I had therapy too, it helped but I really wish I could go back and rescue the four old me.
I feel relieved to know that my constant podcast listening is not escaping but a feature of being HSP! There was a funny coincidence: I was walking my dog when listening to this podcast, and right when my dog started barking, I heard Dr. Honda say "Oh, that's just my dog barking" 😄
Yay...I'm HSP....... My mother was also HSP... She suffered... And so have I...it's a cruel world right now... I've been alone for 17 years.. because I can barely tolerate being around humans.... Animals are my refuge.
I'm 100% an HSP / empath and it has been a huge contributor to my chronic illness because I didn't know how to handle it properly and I became exhausted to a point that I couldn't live day to day, I've been totally bed bound with frequent panic attacks (and a whole lot of other factors came into play - I really am ill with Lyme disease so it's a combination that has completely knocked me out). My sensitivity to energy really messes me up! It comes in handy for creative projects and in helping others though. Interesting how Dr. Kirk says he's sensitive to clothing - I TOTALLY RELATE to that down to the colour of the clothing because certain colours drain me. I also don't like shoes being on my feet so I usually wear slip ons but they're mostly slip offs :D Being in the car with all the movement and noise is like a nightmare, I can never have the radio on in addition to it all. This explains how Dr. Kirk is able to gain insight into people's behaviours because HSP's are able to gather all the data and use that to make a more accurate assessment of a situation. I was not at all "normal" in school and was constantly shamed and made to feel like a terrible person for not being able to concentrate, wish I had had a similar experience to Elena, that's honestly such a blessing! It's sooooo important for an HSP to be aware of what the difference really is with them because I went through my entire life with labels that I knew weren't accurate and it was deeply frustrating. I'm wondering though as a therapist doesn't being an HSP get really troubling and draining?? Because I wouldn't be able to stop myself from obsessing over my clients issues and trying to go over and over everything to make sure I'm giving them my absolute best possible solution and outcome. I guess it becomes second nature though eventually so you automatically know what's best for the particular case at hand. My husband is not an HSP, he's pretty much the opposite and he's my absolute rock and keeps me calms and sane ;) Thank you Elena for educating us and helping us to understand ourselves
The emotionally sensitive part gets so much stronger as you age. I always blamed it on my illness that causes extreme fatigue so I can't block as many of the stimuli involved with being able to tolerate other people's emotions/energy. I'm practicing trying to strengthen that in myself because a funeral will have me unable to move or function for days at this point. So far I'm not making much progress. You learn that everything, even sitting up, takes energy. Tolerating others' very strong emotions is exhausting.
I'm shaking. Two days ago a family member said to do some research on empath and led me to HSP's so to Dr. Kirk have an hour on this very subject is mind blowing. I love Dr. Honda and just can't afford the 5 bucks rite now to hear deep dives lol so I'm soooo appreciate this! Thank u Doctor
I wasn't called highly sensitive as a child, I was called "highly strung". Had some traumas, didn't feel understood, ended up with BPD. I liked Elena a lot on this episode because her approach seems to be evidence-based and not BS like some 'life coaches'. When Dr. Kirk asks her a question and she doesn't know she is happy to say "there's no evidence to support that, but anecdotally....."
HSP seem to check every last box that someone with ADHD has. Rejectional dysphopria, hyperfocusing, sensitivity to stimuli, need for productivity, boredom brings bad emotion. As underdiagnosed as ADHD is with adults, I feel like "HSP" is only adding another layer of dissolution above the actual issue.
I relate to being a HSP so much. I always have headphones on constantly as well. I have a thirst for learning through podcasts or absorbing energy from songs. I can’t stop being a deep thinker. Its been tough being a HSP in this society. It’s nice to among fellow HSP people. This podcast is so helpful. Thank you. ♥️♥️♥️
wow, I am 62 years old and I finally understand myself better. I actually had thought I was "a little" autistic as my granddaughter is, and the sensitivities are similar. As a child, I was regularly scolded and up until I ended my relationship with my narcissistic mother 10 years ago, was told I was "bad" due to being sensitive to things from the past. What Dr. Elena said about carrying the stories from books and movies with us after we experienced them was EXACTLY like me!! Consequently, I cannot relive 9/11 stories or shows since I lived near New York at the time and cried every day for three months afterward! So glad I listened to this, wish I could point this out to those who chastised me for being this way.
This was such a great episode. I realized that I had this trait a long time ago, but it's nice to be able to put a name to it. I had no idea that it was genetic...but I can absolutely identify the same traits in my 2 year old daughter. I just wanted to say, "Thank you" for doing an episode on this subject!
Thank you sooo much for doing a show on this!!! I’ve often thought I could be HSP, but many people tell me that it doesn’t resist. I’m just too sensitive! Thanks!
@@thatleafy_life I know that. I’m just saying a professional said “yes, you have this”. I personally feel like the word “diagnosed” can apply to many things, not just disease. But thank you for trying to help clarify!
This is some meta stuff. Listening to this Podcast while cooking and realizing that listening to Podcasts all the time is something other HSP also do. Also one time my "heightened" senses might have saved my parents from harm. When I was visiting them and had water from the tap, it tasted muddy or stale to me. My father then also tasted the water, from the same glass and said it tasted absolutely fine. I made them get the water tested and it turned out there was bacteria in the water due to the old piping. Not super dangerous or anything but felt very validated when the test came back.
that’s funny that you say that about distance running- most of my family has super long distances and loves it, while i hate running! i find it so uncomfortable, and i always preferred swimming because the jostling around of a high impact sport & the uncomfortability of running outside in extreme temperatures wasn’t there
My life was mostly miserable until I met my now husband. He accepts my HSP traits & protects me from being overly stimulated. I love him so much ❤️ past partners considered me high maintenance and shamed me for it.
I was skeptical about HSP this when I first heard about it; sounded like a special snowflake identity. This podcast peaked my curiosity yet again and initially I thought that HSP was either autism or high trait neuroticism and of course I had to do more reading into it. I did some reviews of the literature and I wanted to share what I found! A very well done neuroimaging study on HSP has some interesting insights: doi: 10.1002/brb3.242
The con: driving those around you sorta crazy. Me: “do you smell that?” Person: “no”. Me: “are you sure because I really smell it”. Me: “you feeling ok?” Person: “I’m fine why you ask?” Me: “just feels something off” (sometimes I feel symptoms but it doesn’t feel like my own) Person next day: “I’m not feeling so well I think I’m getting a cold” Me: “do you hear that sound too?” Person: “no” Me: “listen carefully” Person: “oh yeah, wait how’d you even hear that?” It’s difficult explaining to those in your life (and them believing) that you’re not crazy, that you can feel an energy shift in a room/ house, that you can sense when something is wrong or amiss with those you’re close with or your animals, that you feel your brain is being zapped when there is too much noise and chaos going on at once, how it’s a challenge to live in a world that is becoming louder, intrusive, smelly, etc. and that you’re not being dramatic, that it’s really happening. Thanks for the great video :-)
I had to pause and comment real quick, I’m completely relating to every single thing they are saying. I mean I’m currently drinking wine and cooking and listening with my headphones 🎧 to this so .... 🤪
I thought I was an HSP for a long, long time (my mom even had the book about highly-sensitive children on her nightstand for years!) when in fact I just had untreated PTSD and problems with hypervigilance and poor boundaries. WHOOPS.
@@babewithbrains19 Personally, the "Highly Sensitive Person" label was me running from a lot of things and pretending they were normal and just part of me when they were not. And also wanting to be special. I'm sure there are HSPs in the world but I know it's also a safe place to hide when you're trying to avoid dealing with trauma & want to pretend that you absorb other people's feelings because you are special and not because you were trained to take responsibility for other people's feelings and need to work some stuff out in therapy.
I think I might maaaybe be a little HSP. Sometimes I get headaches of wearing necklace (especially chockers, but sometimes also from normal necklaces). I have to shower when I get home. I have to vaccum my floor daily because I can feel dust, hair and other stuff on the floor which makes me really uncomfortable. People say it's easier to study at library, but I usually find it more difficult because my clothes are not comfortable enough and I can feel my bra. I can still work during these circumstances but it annoys me so I do a better work at home. I started study Philosophy my first three years in university because I spend much time to overanalyze things in life, that's why I was drawn to Philosophy. Now I'm studying to become a teacher, which I really want to become, but I'm afraid that I picked the wrong career. When I had my internship, I had headaches every day after work. The same with when I worked as a waitress. It got better when I sleept more, but I still got this headaches that made me feel like I was going to throw up. My emotions are very turbulent because I can react very strongly quickly on small things I pick up. I can go between crying and laughing very fast. I usually cry to sad movies and continues to be sad for the rest of the day and the same goes for when something bad happends. Some people that are closed to me are upset because they think I'm over empathic. They think I care too much of others to the point that I let others take advantage of me. In high school, I did some people's homework and assignments, not because I was affraid to say no, but because I felt sorry for them. I even put in more effort in their assignment than my own, which resulted in that they got better grades than me hahah. The only thing that makes me think I'm not a HSP is that I'm sometimes oblivious to what happens around me. I don't notice when a car is going towards me sometimes and I don't notice that some people are crushing on others because I'm really stuck in processing my emotions and thoughts sometimes. However, I'm usually good at understanding people's emotions when I interact with them and put all my focus on them.
@@littlefrog9553 Oh nice that we can relate to each other! However, I don't have ADD or autism and I don't really know what Sensory Processing Disorder is, sorry!
I had never heard of this. I took the self test and the only things that didn't check with me were the sensitivity to light/sound ecc... Thinking about it, I am VERY fussy about food though (I can't stand very strong tastes, spicy food and certain consistencies).
Umm I think I have this... can this lead to anxiety?? The deep thinking of every little thing, over analyzing, stressing over every little thing that probably doesn’t deserve it...
Thank you so much for this. I am HSP as well and it feels really good it's talked about on your podcast. Great way for me to share with friends and family.
Wow i had no idea that's what I am!!! I love jewelry but cannot keep them on for the life of me. I can not tolerate heat nor a crowded place with too much noise. I despise bars because I must wear an ear plug to hear when someone is talking to me. I knew I was "sensitive" but could figure out why. I am also very aware of people's feelings and emotions which causes me alot of anxiety as I sense their sadness or pain. Thank you so much for interviewing an expert! This was very helpful
Oh my goodness, it's like you're talking about me! I have never been able to wear my wedding ring except for during the day, I cut ALL the tags out of my clothes and then remain annoyed by the tiny bit left over, I skipped a year when first starting school, etc.etc. I am just flabbergasted. I can't wait to tell my husband. He calls my nose the super sniffer lol
This is crazy. I've come across the term HSP a few months ago and started wondering if I might fall into that category. I am a psychology student and even as a child felt like that was my strength, in terms of I would have a lot of empathy for people, could easily understand their point of view even if their whole process of thinking was completely oppositional to mine. What was new to me is what Dr. Kirk talked about in the beginning. I can't wear jewellery and when I do, I at one point have to take it all of at once. A lot of things they talked about I see in myself (like noticing subtle music in loud places). It's fascinating to me that there could be a connection between these primarily "bodily sensations" and my "world of thought". Thank you both, this was very interesting! :)
Thank u so much, learning about hsp made me understand myself and my past so much better, i always felt like something was wrong about me, but finally I understand
It has to be our choice. I cannot tolerate someone in another room watching a different channel loudly because it short circuits my brain. It's all I can focus on. If I want to listen to something while the TV is on, like a tiktok, that's not a problem. My brain can tune one out.
I'm the oposite unless I am home. I hate walking in other people's houses since they don't vaccum every day and I can feel the dust, hair and other stuff on the floor. At home I vaccum every day, so I walk barefoot at home. I have to tip toe around when I'm barefoot anywhere else but home.
@@dr.absurd i get it...I wouldn't walk in someone else's house barefoot...but I live in nature.. outdoors doesn't bother me..but I keep a pan of water on the porch to rinse my feet before I come in...my x thot I was touched in the head.. he could not understand why I would put my feet in water before I come in the house... I've done that for at least 40yrs.... Can't have my feet under covers in bed either . It's like my feet need to breathe...lol
@@gaylewatkins6781 Haha I understand you. We are all different in our needs and we are sensetive to different stuff. I relate to the part about needing to wash the feet. :)
So, does anyone find that they will grow depressed and exhausted? Shutting emotions down so as not to feel and over think? Is there any link between this and diseases?
Oh thank you for this video. I had no idea I was HSP or that it existed until this morning when I watched this. It explains so much. Can't wait to tell my mum who used to get so mad when I cut all the inside seams of my socks out when I was 4, I called them pippies, because they annoyed me, and rubbed against me when I wore sneakers on top. I went through SO MANY SOCKS. And each one I cut 🤣🤣
THANK YOU! My therapist just told me about this and I’ve just started reading about it❤️ I am definitely an HSP with newly diagnosed anxiety and panic disorder🥺
I’ve known for years I was an HSP and empath. Crowds and family get togethers overwhelm me, I have to sit alone in a quiet place for while. I need a lot of alone time. I absorb other peoples emotions and their hurt becomes my hurt and a cry easily.
It Sounds like the same high sensitivity us autistic people live with. with exception to the «intuitive feeling of other peoples emotions» as the woman talked about, as autistic people generally have more issues socially and understanding other peoples emotions and social norms. (However it does not mean we have no empathy as is commonly thought). Anyway, the point was that all the sensory things sounds like they are pretty similar to us on the spectrum.
@ Dr. Kirk can you do an episode on ADHD and Highly Sensitive people? I have always known I was really sensitive, and got a burn-out from sitting in an office and trying to adapt for years. When I got to the psychologist. She told me, that most of the women who got in her office, told her they were just highly sensitive, but then she tested them on ADHD/ADD; and they were all ADD/ADHD. And so was I. I have read a lot about both, and can relate to both, totally. So are they really two different things? Or are they, the same thing, looked at from different perspectives?
I am very much a hsp but I love swimming and long distance running. I think I find it stimulating because I compete with myself and set goals and find ways to better myself. I cant get into that mindset with yoga though. I'm bored to tears by yoga. Also, the headphones story is something I can very much relate to. I'm always wearing them and listening to something too.
i think people underestimate how common HSP's are, like a decent part of the people i know seem like they are HSP actually. maybe some people try to repress their sensitivity it (i know i have) because society is telling us that being sensitive is bad and might make someone alexithymic (no idea just speculating here) but okay for an example, i believe i got the sensitivity part from my dad, he can at times connect with me on a level that my mother cant, but at times he makes me feel bad for being sensitive, calling me too sensitive and to get over it etc. sorry for the ramble but i guess my point is that people can be highly sensitive but not know it or not be in touch with that part of themselves. also being a hsp doesnt make it okay for someone to say "youre being too sensitive" etc. not that anyone said otherwise in here but just wanted to put that out there.
Thank you. Thank you. This is 💯 me!! I have been dealing with these issues since being a child. I’ve had so many health issues arise from not knowing what I am and how to deal with this. So many thoughts and questions on this subject. Just wish people believed in this.
May I please ask what sort of health issues? I don't want to pry. No pressure to respond. I am curious if it's something I've dealt with, too. Love from Texas ♡
I feel like, if you fit all the HSP criteria and struggle a lot in your life it could be good to get an evaluation if possible, at some point. I know people and keep hearing about people who just thought they were HSP but, upon evaluation turned out to be autistic or adhd (or both) in adult age which eventually gave them the right kind of support and tools to understand themselves. Even if current research doesn't link them or the research is ongoing there seems to be at least some overlap between these three. If the term HSP gives you relief and explanation that's great, I just feel people shouldn't stop there if they're really struggling bc then HSP may not cover it all.
I had the exact same thoughts about my friends who were good at long distance running too. I could never do it either. It bored me out of my mind so I started trying to go faster so I could get it over with faster. Same with long leisurely walks. I always think if I just go faster it'll be over faster.
Thank you so much for talking about this. I am 100% HSP and I'm pretty sure my father was too. Maybe even my sister as well. It's so overwhelming but great to learn more about.
Hey everyone. I too am HSP (almost to the max) and I would really like to inspire a movement to start referring to it exclusively as SPS, or Sensory Processing Sensitivity instead of HSP. I feel like saying I'm a "Highly Sensitive Person" makes it sound like you have to walk on eggshells around me or I'm gonna cry or something, and that's just such a surface level perspective to take on such a much deeper, more involved experience. Plus, I mean you could say that narcissists are "highly sensitive" in that you have to walk on eggshells around them, lest you offend their delicate egos, and that's a disorder that couldn't be more different than us. What do you think? Does anyone else agree with that?
Well this was definitely a revelation for me! Explains so much for me and my family. Having a partner who is also HSP would hsve been disastrous for me, lol ! The person who isn't won't let things bother them like it does for you and they can make you laugh about your princess and the pea syndrome! Things that really bother me, don't even phase him so he just goes along with it. This explains sooo much! Thanks for this!
I also found out I was an HSP in my mid 20s. And, as I listened to this podcast, making a recipe I had never tried before and delighting in the new experience, it was funny to hear how it aligns. Yay for feeling understood!
I don't really like the term I just have ADD. I don't really think giving it a label helps me. Most people will say they have it but I definitely know there is a big difference between how I react and how most people react
I wonder if these is a construct that competes with, or picks out something sufficiently different from, what was discussed in the Giftedness episode in terms of Overexcitabilities
I have wondered if I was HSP when I learned about it. But I don't fully connect with the empathy. Sometimes I pick up on small cues of the way someone feels. But if someone is really sad and crying I feel like idk what to do. And at times if I don't know the person and have an attachment to them then I feel uncomfortable and want to leave to comfort myself instead of them.
Empathy is being able to feel, not being able to help. I would argue that what you said is a sign of strong empathy, you just aren’t sure how to act on it.
Hi Dr. Kirk, any opinion on the interaction between HSP/gifted/ADHD ? I’ve been writing a paper for class and found that depending on the country the boundaries between these 3 concepts seem very blurry. In france for example they consider HSP a criteria for giftedness, which they call High potential.
I have a question regarding the "thinking about that comment of your neighbor three days later" - how does that differ from anxiety? or is there an overlap?
This episode hit me hard....You know that moment in Amelie where she describes the world to the blind man. I feel this way about this episode. I feel validated and optimistic. Thank you so much for this episode!!!!
Surely a helpful episode.
I love that scene in my all time favorite movie. When she leaves him, she looks up towards the sky and her heart glows out of her chest and seems to emanate into the universe. I feel that way all the time. I love how they animate her feelings throughout the movie. Like the way she melts into a puddle when Nino comes into her café. ❤️
I've been called a sensitive person for as long as I can remember. People always say "don't take it to heart" but it's hard when you feel everything so deeply...
Right? Always dismissing our feelings!
Yeah! I've always been told I need to "grow thicker skin" and I have never been able to do that. I can't help it, I've always been like this
Me too!
Can’t believe someone else/so many others feel the absolute exact same as me when I’ve been made to feel so ‘dramatic’ as you guys put it. Thank you for this video! Really informative and helped me understand myself better
Same here.
This was perfect timing. I am a HSP. So this is super interesting. Thank you for talking about this Dr. Kirk.
Same here.
I am a HSP and it’s very difficult to be understood sometimes. I am very happy to be listening to this. Dr. Kirk, I have been following you for a while and your advice on expressing our feelings more openly has helped me a lot with my social interactions. Thank you Dr. Kirk :)
4 Key Markers of this personality trait:
Depth of Processing- processing details of our environment
Overstimulation- taking in so much information at once
Empathy- attuned to other people's feelings
Sensitivity to subtleties- feel energy, sounds, smells, etc in a room that others might not
Crying with this episode 😭 I forget sometimes how there’s others like me, and when I hear someone else talk about it and explain the same feelings I have, I remember I’m not alone. It can be so isolating just being shamed for it from all angles all my life. I wish more people knew how very real it is, and why it’s not easy for me to just stop overthinking or having anxiety from being overwhelmed/flooded. If I could I would but I literally can’t help it ); it makes me feel like such a burden when I feel like I’m drowning in thoughts and emotions over such minute things. But at least I’m aware, and I can be there for myself, and the ones truly close to me get me and are patient with me for the most part. I hope all my fellow hsp’s have good people around them who are patient and understanding as well 🙏🏻 thanks for reviewing this topic dr Kirk!!!
Same here finally I feel better and calmer 😇😇😭
I'm definitely on the spectrum, cried a lot as a child and felt neglected even though objectively I wasn't I probably just needed more attention than a different personality trait.
Also regarding empathy, i go about confused most of the day because I'm astounded by how people treat others, e.g the people on the train that didn't give their seat to a pregnant woman (or didn't even notice) can hurt me for a whole day.
Being conscientious and considerate towards people and my surroundings makes me an excellent nurse, but it burns me out more than the average nurse as I can't help but put in 150% of my energy into the job.
I feel it's much harder to live in this society the way I am and I day dream of my 5 year plan when I'll be leaving the city and going to join my husband's family in a small island village next to the mountains and the sea, away from all the 'noise'
Oh and my father is more sensitive than me so I believe the genetic line of thinking
I am the same way, I can't watch any "rescue abused dogs" videos on youtube because I actually FEEL the pain on the screen, and I can't even read about abuse to a child.
Oh my goodness, I finally feel understood.
Up until I started listening to this episode, up until just a couple of hours ago, I thought there has always been something wrong with me but just couldn't say what. Okay maybe not "wrong" but that I am different. Imagine living this way for almost 40 years supressing things about yourself to not seem rude or weak 🤯
Thank you for this episode ❤️
I consider myself an HSP- but I love being outside both with headphones - but also without them. I really enjoy seeing what’s different each day, what flowers are out, what birds are singing, etc.
"HSPs who have a stable/supportive childhood aren't prone to anxiety"
Then there's me, over here breathing into a bag at the thought of day-to-day functions.
Also... Wait... There are HSPs raised without trauma? 🤔
same...
Completely understand.
Yes! I was raised in a nurturing and supportive household that accepted me as I was
I was raised constantly being berated for who I am and told I was "oversensitive"; instead of being sensitive to me, they were brutal.
@@lindav1189 I feel ya there. My maternal relationship was abusive in all of the ways that I can think of (except sexual, she never did that). I think that some HSPs are born and, through nurturing, they learn to cope with the world and the mass amounts of data being thrown at them at any given moment. And then there are others who's parents make it worse, leading to lifelong issues and, essentially, an inability to cope/interact. Elaine Aron's book talks about reparenting yourself, basically from infancy, and it helped me a little. The knowledge that I'm not alone in my HSP helped me immensely.
Re: Dr Kirk not being able to stand long distance running, genetically we have different proportions of type 1 muscle fibers (slow-twitch, evolved for aerobic endurance activities) and type 2 muscle fibers (fast-twitch, evolved for explosive resistance activities). For example, since being a teenager I physically and mentally cannot stand sprinting but I'm fine running a 5k. My father is the same!
You can train both types of muscle but the proportions will remain the same.
I have pretty bad anxiety and I always attributed these things to anxiety and I attributed the anxiety to trauma but it makes sense that if I am an HSP, I am more easily traumatized than say, my siblings and being an HSP makes my anxiety even worse just because there is so much more to be anxious about.
This is incredibly fascinating and eye opening
I had no idea about this, but WOW this describes me so well and I feel so understood for the first time in my life. Thank you so much for this, this means so much to me. I'm currently in the process of tailoring my life to suit my needs (working from home with a high-maintenance dog and also doing freelance art) and I feel so validated. Not to mention the fact that I can't wear rings, bracelets, headbands, or, the worst one of all: tight jeans lol. I have to take a 1-2 week break after I finish a book because it feels like I need all that time to process it and feel all the things I want to feel and the thought of jumping straight into a separate story sounds exhausting. Needing stimulation while doing mundane tasks (gotta listen to something while I'm showering or else I get bored haha), our relationship with music/podcasts, needing to choose the stimulus, etc. This is so insightful.
Just as an aside: I'd love to know more about this and misophonia. I can't handle the sound of loud gum chewing, when men play with their facial hair, and certain repeated noises and I wonder if this is more of a HSP trait.
Misophonia wasn't mentioned and I am curious. Especially as you talked about food. I love food. I love to cook, to create and to taste and look forward to every meal and what I am going to cook. I love to feed people and I love it when they love my food. It gives me the warm fuzzies. But; if I have to listen to people eating, I go nuts. I can't stand it. Now, I am okay if I am eating while others are eating but I can't be around anyone eating if I am not. I took the test and scored 25. Ha, ha, ha! It made me laugh. My husband just nodded and nodded. He still can't hear that the toilet is running.
Thank you for this! I've just recently found out that this condition exists and this helped me understand the way I am. Growing up, I have been bullied, called weak, and even hardly left on my own because of this. My family didn't think I could manage things on my own because I was "too emotional".
I grew up learning to have this 'front' where people can see me as calm, composed, and strong, just so people would give me my independence and would start thinking that I am not as weak as they see me. It was so hard to understand as a kid. I felt normal but whenever I would feel all these things in me, I would get reminded of how odd I am.
The 'front' helped me gain confidence (it's like fake it 'til you make it) and helped me to stop and think rationally whenever I feel so much. Now, everyone around me wonders why I am so composed even in highly stressful situations. But you know, I am still the same person, just with this front that I don't know now how to drop. I still feel soooo much, but most of the time, I'm the only one who knows because I don't let it show.
Knowing about HSP is what's currently helping me embrace my emotions. It really takes understanding and acceptance of who we are to be truly free. When I was younger, I thought having this 'front' would make me free. But it's embracing the highly sensitive person that I am that is setting me free now.
Wish me well on my journey.
An aunt of mine would have a little TV or radio on in every single room, especially after she was widowed. I kept asking her to turn each apparatus on as we were moving from room to room...
This video is life-changing. Beyond extreme sensitivity about things like smells, sounds, sensations (zero clothing tags and all cotton linens only LOL) the other component of feeling things so deeply makes being a person who cares about and works toward social justice personally quite painful. It somehow makes me feel better to hear that this is genetic in someway because my mother and daughter are also HSP And our empathy for others is sometimes dismissed as “you are too sensitive” so it’s comforting to know we are in good company.
oh yea if I feel or think someone’s upset at me I am crying. and I used to never be able to sleep cause my brother would leave his TV on and it would make the worst buzzing noise and I was the only one who could hear it
It’s like having 20 tabs open on your computer... haha that’s me everyday both literally and metaphorically...
Same here 😊
I told my sister that it was like listening to two radio shows on at the same time in my head, I can't concentrate with lots going on around me.
Wow, this made me cry. As an HSP growing up with a mother who had Bi polar disorder, it was so tough. It's great to realise that HSP is real, I always thought that it was a result of my childhood.
me tooo! Both parents were abusive, I thought I was "bad" and instead of showing my hurt, I sucked it down and it turned into anger and depression and therapy for 20 YEARS.
@@lindav1189
Thanks for sharing, it's great way to lessen the feeling of being the only one. I too turned the anger and pain inwards resulting in depression and anxiety. I had therapy too, it helped but I really wish I could go back and rescue the four old me.
I feel relieved to know that my constant podcast listening is not escaping but a feature of being HSP! There was a funny coincidence: I was walking my dog when listening to this podcast, and right when my dog started barking, I heard Dr. Honda say "Oh, that's just my dog barking" 😄
Yay...I'm HSP....... My mother was also HSP... She suffered... And so have I...it's a cruel world right now... I've been alone for 17 years.. because I can barely tolerate being around humans.... Animals are my refuge.
Thank goodness for the love of animals, right? What a gift♡
Well said.
I've been shamed growing up for being a HSP, thanks for this content.
Seriously! Same here.
Same. I was called a hypochondriac and a drama queen
I'm 100% an HSP / empath and it has been a huge contributor to my chronic illness because I didn't know how to handle it properly and I became exhausted to a point that I couldn't live day to day, I've been totally bed bound with frequent panic attacks (and a whole lot of other factors came into play - I really am ill with Lyme disease so it's a combination that has completely knocked me out). My sensitivity to energy really messes me up! It comes in handy for creative projects and in helping others though. Interesting how Dr. Kirk says he's sensitive to clothing - I TOTALLY RELATE to that down to the colour of the clothing because certain colours drain me. I also don't like shoes being on my feet so I usually wear slip ons but they're mostly slip offs :D Being in the car with all the movement and noise is like a nightmare, I can never have the radio on in addition to it all. This explains how Dr. Kirk is able to gain insight into people's behaviours because HSP's are able to gather all the data and use that to make a more accurate assessment of a situation. I was not at all "normal" in school and was constantly shamed and made to feel like a terrible person for not being able to concentrate, wish I had had a similar experience to Elena, that's honestly such a blessing! It's sooooo important for an HSP to be aware of what the difference really is with them because I went through my entire life with labels that I knew weren't accurate and it was deeply frustrating. I'm wondering though as a therapist doesn't being an HSP get really troubling and draining?? Because I wouldn't be able to stop myself from obsessing over my clients issues and trying to go over and over everything to make sure I'm giving them my absolute best possible solution and outcome. I guess it becomes second nature though eventually so you automatically know what's best for the particular case at hand. My husband is not an HSP, he's pretty much the opposite and he's my absolute rock and keeps me calms and sane ;) Thank you Elena for educating us and helping us to understand ourselves
The emotionally sensitive part gets so much stronger as you age. I always blamed it on my illness that causes extreme fatigue so I can't block as many of the stimuli involved with being able to tolerate other people's emotions/energy. I'm practicing trying to strengthen that in myself because a funeral will have me unable to move or function for days at this point. So far I'm not making much progress. You learn that everything, even sitting up, takes energy. Tolerating others' very strong emotions is exhausting.
I'm shaking. Two days ago a family member said to do some research on empath and led me to HSP's so to Dr. Kirk have an hour on this very subject is mind blowing. I love Dr. Honda and just can't afford the 5 bucks rite now to hear deep dives lol so I'm soooo appreciate this! Thank u Doctor
I wasn't called highly sensitive as a child, I was called "highly strung". Had some traumas, didn't feel understood, ended up with BPD. I liked Elena a lot on this episode because her approach seems to be evidence-based and not BS like some 'life coaches'. When Dr. Kirk asks her a question and she doesn't know she is happy to say "there's no evidence to support that, but anecdotally....."
HSP seem to check every last box that someone with ADHD has.
Rejectional dysphopria,
hyperfocusing,
sensitivity to stimuli,
need for productivity, boredom brings bad emotion.
As underdiagnosed as ADHD is with adults, I feel like "HSP" is only adding another layer of dissolution above the actual issue.
I relate to being a HSP so much. I always have headphones on constantly as well. I have a thirst for learning through podcasts or absorbing energy from songs. I can’t stop being a deep thinker. Its been tough being a HSP in this society. It’s nice to among fellow HSP people. This podcast is so helpful. Thank you. ♥️♥️♥️
wow, I am 62 years old and I finally understand myself better. I actually had thought I was "a little" autistic as my granddaughter is, and the sensitivities are similar. As a child, I was regularly scolded and up until I ended my relationship with my narcissistic mother 10 years ago, was told I was "bad" due to being sensitive to things from the past. What Dr. Elena said about carrying the stories from books and movies with us after we experienced them was EXACTLY like me!! Consequently, I cannot relive 9/11 stories or shows since I lived near New York at the time and cried every day for three months afterward! So glad I listened to this, wish I could point this out to those who chastised me for being this way.
I'm only 5 min in, and this felt like you were describing me.
Same here.
so here I am, hating the same routine every day because of being a HSP and also needing the same routine every day because of my depression.
This was such a great episode. I realized that I had this trait a long time ago, but it's nice to be able to put a name to it. I had no idea that it was genetic...but I can absolutely identify the same traits in my 2 year old daughter. I just wanted to say, "Thank you" for doing an episode on this subject!
Thank you sooo much for doing a show on this!!! I’ve often thought I could be HSP, but many people tell me that it doesn’t resist. I’m just too sensitive! Thanks!
I was diagnosed HSP in 2013 and I’ve never had another counselor talk about it and take it seriously. I am so glad you did this episode!
Its a personality trait, not a disease to be diagnosed with
@@thatleafy_life I know that. I’m just saying a professional said “yes, you have this”. I personally feel like the word “diagnosed” can apply to many things, not just disease. But thank you for trying to help clarify!
This is some meta stuff. Listening to this Podcast while cooking and realizing that listening to Podcasts all the time is something other HSP also do.
Also one time my "heightened" senses might have saved my parents from harm. When I was visiting them and had water from the tap, it tasted muddy or stale to me. My father then also tasted the water, from the same glass and said it tasted absolutely fine.
I made them get the water tested and it turned out there was bacteria in the water due to the old piping.
Not super dangerous or anything but felt very validated when the test came back.
that’s funny that you say that about distance running- most of my family has super long distances and loves it, while i hate running! i find it so uncomfortable, and i always preferred swimming because the jostling around of a high impact sport & the uncomfortability of running outside in extreme temperatures wasn’t there
Well, I know understand myself a lot better. I had heard about HSP in passing but never looked into it and oh my God.
Thank you thank you thank you. This is so helpful to understand why I am the way I am!
My life was mostly miserable until I met my now husband. He accepts my HSP traits & protects me from being overly stimulated. I love him so much ❤️ past partners considered me high maintenance and shamed me for it.
So beautiful!
I was skeptical about HSP this when I first heard about it; sounded like a special snowflake identity. This podcast peaked my curiosity yet again and initially I thought that HSP was either autism or high trait neuroticism and of course I had to do more reading into it. I did some reviews of the literature and I wanted to share what I found! A very well done neuroimaging study on HSP has some interesting insights: doi: 10.1002/brb3.242
what is: doi: 10.1002/brb3.242
The con: driving those around you sorta crazy. Me: “do you smell that?” Person: “no”. Me: “are you sure because I really smell it”.
Me: “you feeling ok?”
Person: “I’m fine why you ask?”
Me: “just feels something off” (sometimes I feel symptoms but it doesn’t feel like my own)
Person next day: “I’m not feeling so well I think I’m getting a cold”
Me: “do you hear that sound too?”
Person: “no”
Me: “listen carefully”
Person: “oh yeah, wait how’d you even hear that?”
It’s difficult explaining to those in your life (and them believing) that you’re not crazy, that you can feel an energy shift in a room/ house, that you can sense when something is wrong or amiss with those you’re close with or your animals, that you feel your brain is being zapped when there is too much noise and chaos going on at once, how it’s a challenge to live in a world that is becoming louder, intrusive, smelly, etc. and that you’re not being dramatic, that it’s really happening.
Thanks for the great video :-)
I had to pause and comment real quick, I’m completely relating to every single thing they are saying. I mean I’m currently drinking wine and cooking and listening with my headphones 🎧 to this so .... 🤪
I thought I was an HSP for a long, long time (my mom even had the book about highly-sensitive children on her nightstand for years!) when in fact I just had untreated PTSD and problems with hypervigilance and poor boundaries. WHOOPS.
*hug* (if you want it)
That can go hand in hand with being HSP
@@babewithbrains19 Personally, the "Highly Sensitive Person" label was me running from a lot of things and pretending they were normal and just part of me when they were not. And also wanting to be special. I'm sure there are HSPs in the world but I know it's also a safe place to hide when you're trying to avoid dealing with trauma & want to pretend that you absorb other people's feelings because you are special and not because you were trained to take responsibility for other people's feelings and need to work some stuff out in therapy.
I am literally walking out to the mailbox with my earbuds in while listening to this podcast. May as well get 2 thinks done at once.
I think I might maaaybe be a little HSP. Sometimes I get headaches of wearing necklace (especially chockers, but sometimes also from normal necklaces). I have to shower when I get home. I have to vaccum my floor daily because I can feel dust, hair and other stuff on the floor which makes me really uncomfortable. People say it's easier to study at library, but I usually find it more difficult because my clothes are not comfortable enough and I can feel my bra. I can still work during these circumstances but it annoys me so I do a better work at home.
I started study Philosophy my first three years in university because I spend much time to overanalyze things in life, that's why I was drawn to Philosophy. Now I'm studying to become a teacher, which I really want to become, but I'm afraid that I picked the wrong career. When I had my internship, I had headaches every day after work. The same with when I worked as a waitress. It got better when I sleept more, but I still got this headaches that made me feel like I was going to throw up.
My emotions are very turbulent because I can react very strongly quickly on small things I pick up. I can go between crying and laughing very fast. I usually cry to sad movies and continues to be sad for the rest of the day and the same goes for when something bad happends. Some people that are closed to me are upset because they think I'm over empathic. They think I care too much of others to the point that I let others take advantage of me. In high school, I did some people's homework and assignments, not because I was affraid to say no, but because I felt sorry for them. I even put in more effort in their assignment than my own, which resulted in that they got better grades than me hahah.
The only thing that makes me think I'm not a HSP is that I'm sometimes oblivious to what happens around me. I don't notice when a car is going towards me sometimes and I don't notice that some people are crushing on others because I'm really stuck in processing my emotions and thoughts sometimes. However, I'm usually good at understanding people's emotions when I interact with them and put all my focus on them.
I relate to you, but I have a diagnosis of ADD and Autism. I also have Sensory Processing Disorder.
@@littlefrog9553 Oh nice that we can relate to each other! However, I don't have ADD or autism and I don't really know what Sensory Processing Disorder is, sorry!
I had never heard of this. I took the self test and the only things that didn't check with me were the sensitivity to light/sound ecc... Thinking about it, I am VERY fussy about food though (I can't stand very strong tastes, spicy food and certain consistencies).
Oh well, I hadn't listened to the last part yet. 😂
Umm I think I have this... can this lead to anxiety?? The deep thinking of every little thing, over analyzing, stressing over every little thing that probably doesn’t deserve it...
Fascinating. I'd be curious how this links potentially with/ is a precursor for Central sensitisation syndrome and chronic pain syndromes.
Thank you so much for this. I am HSP as well and it feels really good it's talked about on your podcast. Great way for me to share with friends and family.
Wow i had no idea that's what I am!!! I love jewelry but cannot keep them on for the life of me. I can not tolerate heat nor a crowded place with too much noise. I despise bars because I must wear an ear plug to hear when someone is talking to me.
I knew I was "sensitive" but could figure out why. I am also very aware of people's feelings and emotions which causes me alot of anxiety as I sense their sadness or pain.
Thank you so much for interviewing an expert! This was very helpful
Oh my goodness, it's like you're talking about me! I have never been able to wear my wedding ring except for during the day, I cut ALL the tags out of my clothes and then remain annoyed by the tiny bit left over, I skipped a year when first starting school, etc.etc. I am just flabbergasted. I can't wait to tell my husband. He calls my nose the super sniffer lol
This is crazy. I've come across the term HSP a few months ago and started wondering if I might fall into that category. I am a psychology student and even as a child felt like that was my strength, in terms of I would have a lot of empathy for people, could easily understand their point of view even if their whole process of thinking was completely oppositional to mine. What was new to me is what Dr. Kirk talked about in the beginning. I can't wear jewellery and when I do, I at one point have to take it all of at once. A lot of things they talked about I see in myself (like noticing subtle music in loud places). It's fascinating to me that there could be a connection between these primarily "bodily sensations" and my "world of thought". Thank you both, this was very interesting! :)
Thank u so much, learning about hsp made me understand myself and my past so much better, i always felt like something was wrong about me, but finally I understand
It has to be our choice. I cannot tolerate someone in another room watching a different channel loudly because it short circuits my brain. It's all I can focus on. If I want to listen to something while the TV is on, like a tiktok, that's not a problem. My brain can tune one out.
Whoa.... I can't stand shoes either... I go barefoot year around... Even enjoy walking in the snow in the rain on bare feet...
I'm the oposite unless I am home. I hate walking in other people's houses since they don't vaccum every day and I can feel the dust, hair and other stuff on the floor. At home I vaccum every day, so I walk barefoot at home. I have to tip toe around when I'm barefoot anywhere else but home.
@@dr.absurd i get it...I wouldn't walk in someone else's house barefoot...but I live in nature.. outdoors doesn't bother me..but I keep a pan of water on the porch to rinse my feet before I come in...my x thot I was touched in the head.. he could not understand why I would put my feet in water before I come in the house... I've done that for at least 40yrs.... Can't have my feet under covers in bed either . It's like my feet need to breathe...lol
@@gaylewatkins6781 Haha I understand you. We are all different in our needs and we are sensetive to different stuff. I relate to the part about needing to wash the feet. :)
So, does anyone find that they will grow depressed and exhausted? Shutting emotions down so as not to feel and over think? Is there any link between this and diseases?
Oh thank you for this video. I had no idea I was HSP or that it existed until this morning when I watched this. It explains so much. Can't wait to tell my mum who used to get so mad when I cut all the inside seams of my socks out when I was 4, I called them pippies, because they annoyed me, and rubbed against me when I wore sneakers on top. I went through SO MANY SOCKS. And each one I cut 🤣🤣
THANK YOU! My therapist just told me about this and I’ve just started reading about it❤️ I am definitely an HSP with newly diagnosed anxiety and panic disorder🥺
Casey Ann same here. Panic disorder is unbearable at times. Social setting triggers it in me.
I’ve known for years I was an HSP and empath. Crowds and family get togethers overwhelm me, I have to sit alone in a quiet place for while. I need a lot of alone time. I absorb other peoples emotions and their hurt becomes my hurt and a cry easily.
It Sounds like the same high sensitivity us autistic people live with. with exception to the «intuitive feeling of other peoples emotions» as the woman talked about, as autistic people generally have more issues socially and understanding other peoples emotions and social norms. (However it does not mean we have no empathy as is commonly thought). Anyway, the point was that all the sensory things sounds like they are pretty similar to us on the spectrum.
@ Dr. Kirk can you do an episode on ADHD and Highly Sensitive people? I have always known I was really sensitive, and got a burn-out from sitting in an office and trying to adapt for years. When I got to the psychologist. She told me, that most of the women who got in her office, told her they were just highly sensitive, but then she tested them on ADHD/ADD; and they were all ADD/ADHD. And so was I. I have read a lot about both, and can relate to both, totally. So are they really two different things? Or are they, the same thing, looked at from different perspectives?
I am very much a hsp but I love swimming and long distance running. I think I find it stimulating because I compete with myself and set goals and find ways to better myself. I cant get into that mindset with yoga though. I'm bored to tears by yoga.
Also, the headphones story is something I can very much relate to. I'm always wearing them and listening to something too.
My grandma would always call me princess and the pea when I was a child
Love it!
It feels great finally I am being understood
HSP here too✌🏻 Thank you so much for this episode. So happy to hear that you acknowledge this and even identify as one😊😉
i think people underestimate how common HSP's are, like a decent part of the people i know seem like they are HSP actually. maybe some people try to repress their sensitivity it (i know i have) because society is telling us that being sensitive is bad and might make someone alexithymic (no idea just speculating here)
but okay for an example, i believe i got the sensitivity part from my dad, he can at times connect with me on a level that my mother cant, but at times he makes me feel bad for being sensitive, calling me too sensitive and to get over it etc. sorry for the ramble but i guess my point is that people can be highly sensitive but not know it or not be in touch with that part of themselves.
also being a hsp doesnt make it okay for someone to say "youre being too sensitive" etc. not that anyone said otherwise in here but just wanted to put that out there.
Thank you. Thank you. This is 💯 me!! I have been dealing with these issues since being a child. I’ve had so many health issues arise from not knowing what I am and how to deal with this. So many thoughts and questions on this subject. Just wish people believed in this.
May I please ask what sort of health issues? I don't want to pry. No pressure to respond. I am curious if it's something I've dealt with, too.
Love from Texas ♡
How does this relate to fibromyalgia?? I'm obviously HSP never known now 42 and have been battling fibromyalgia for years.
Wow. This is me. Thank you for making me feel less weird.
I feel like, if you fit all the HSP criteria and struggle a lot in your life it could be good to get an evaluation if possible, at some point. I know people and keep hearing about people who just thought they were HSP but, upon evaluation turned out to be autistic or adhd (or both) in adult age which eventually gave them the right kind of support and tools to understand themselves. Even if current research doesn't link them or the research is ongoing there seems to be at least some overlap between these three. If the term HSP gives you relief and explanation that's great, I just feel people shouldn't stop there if they're really struggling bc then HSP may not cover it all.
@ Dr. Kirk I was also wondering about Personality Types. Do you know If most Highly Sensitive people are INFP's ?
INFJ here
@@sarahserenity3872 Hi INFJ! hmmm.. maybe we all have the N and F in common then. Just trying to finds patterns..:)
Another INFJ here too!!
I had the exact same thoughts about my friends who were good at long distance running too. I could never do it either. It bored me out of my mind so I started trying to go faster so I could get it over with faster. Same with long leisurely walks. I always think if I just go faster it'll be over faster.
Thank you so much for talking about this. I am 100% HSP and I'm pretty sure my father was too. Maybe even my sister as well. It's so overwhelming but great to learn more about.
Hey everyone. I too am HSP (almost to the max) and I would really like to inspire a movement to start referring to it exclusively as SPS, or Sensory Processing Sensitivity instead of HSP. I feel like saying I'm a "Highly Sensitive Person" makes it sound like you have to walk on eggshells around me or I'm gonna cry or something, and that's just such a surface level perspective to take on such a much deeper, more involved experience. Plus, I mean you could say that narcissists are "highly sensitive" in that you have to walk on eggshells around them, lest you offend their delicate egos, and that's a disorder that couldn't be more different than us.
What do you think? Does anyone else agree with that?
Well this was definitely a revelation for me! Explains so much for me and my family.
Having a partner who is also HSP would hsve been disastrous for me, lol ! The person who isn't won't let things bother them like it does for you and they can make you laugh about your princess and the pea syndrome! Things that really bother me, don't even phase him so he just goes along with it. This explains sooo much! Thanks for this!
I also found out I was an HSP in my mid 20s. And, as I listened to this podcast, making a recipe I had never tried before and delighting in the new experience, it was funny to hear how it aligns. Yay for feeling understood!
I can relate to a lot of the things said in this episode. Very informative!
Dr. Kirk, you are my people ♥️
I am!
I don't really like the term I just have ADD. I don't really think giving it a label helps me. Most people will say they have it but I definitely know there is a big difference between how I react and how most people react
I just thought it was ADHD and anxiety, but have been exploring this HSP thing periodically... talk about resonant!
I wonder if these is a construct that competes with, or picks out something sufficiently different from, what was discussed in the Giftedness episode in terms of Overexcitabilities
Not even 3 minutes in and 😭😭😭
12:30 😭😭😭 my goodness!! And just a fun fact for the Dr I must be a highly sensitive person and I have two children on the spectrum.
I’ve had to pause and do something else for a bit to process what I heard about 6 times. And I’m only 16 mins in... this is going to take a while
Same here ♡
Feeling seen. Thank you for this!
I see you feeling seen! Love from Texas ♡
I have wondered if I was HSP when I learned about it. But I don't fully connect with the empathy. Sometimes I pick up on small cues of the way someone feels. But if someone is really sad and crying I feel like idk what to do. And at times if I don't know the person and have an attachment to them then I feel uncomfortable and want to leave to comfort myself instead of them.
Empathy is being able to feel, not being able to help. I would argue that what you said is a sign of strong empathy, you just aren’t sure how to act on it.
Is this the same as ADHD?! THANK YOU!!
Hi Dr. Kirk, any opinion on the interaction between HSP/gifted/ADHD ? I’ve been writing a paper for class and found that depending on the country the boundaries between these 3 concepts seem very blurry. In france for example they consider HSP a criteria for giftedness, which they call High potential.
We need to know what podcasts you listen to!!!
Omg, i wanted to request this so bad thank uuuuuuuuuu
I don't think I'm HSP, but I have ADHD and a lot of the experiences are very similar, others are completely foreign to me.
whats the difference between being an empath and being an HSP??
Any HSP Taylor Swift fans have got to think she’s one too with her “calamitous love and insurmountable grief” ☺️
Well my shirt tag WASNT bothering me... 😒
I have a question regarding the "thinking about that comment of your neighbor three days later" - how does that differ from anxiety? or is there an overlap?
There's definitely an overlap.
Hmm, didn't I hear Dr. Kirk have an opinion of persons calling themselves "Empath" in one or two of his episodes?
Anyone else an HSP and developed severe anxiety? Lets heal together
I'm HSP
LOVE DOC HONDA!