What are some of the doubts and fears that you have had in your transition? In what ways can you related to Emma's experiences? Share your support for her and her journey 💜
My main doubt is indeed whether I'm "trans enough" to start the entire process of psychological counseling, medication, body modifications (hair removal, surgeries), etc. etc., and whether it's even going to be worth it if I do. I KNOW I'm more feminine than masculine, but at the same time I'm in my 50s already and living in a society (and I have several friends who have encountered that first hand) that still considers transgender persons as perverted freaks. As a result I'd end up losing my career of 25 years based and the use of the 6 year college degree I got before that. Which'd end up with me losing my income, my home, everything I built, everything that's allowing me to even consider the costly and long process. If it'd been legal 20 years ago here (it wasn't) and I'd known it even existed, I'd probably have gone through it back then, but now? Doesn't help that my health isn't the best and men in my family tend to die young, so I may not have long to live after transitioning if I did start it. And that's if it even were possible to complete the process without having my health problems stop it. My family (what's left of it, which is only my sister, everyone else is dead or has disowned us decades ago because we're not part of "the right church") would understand and may well fully expect it if I were to announce I'm trans, so no problem there, but as I said above colleagues (and especially bosses and potential clients) are a different matter entirely. I can fully recognise voice problems when you're older. I've never had a very deep voice but the voice I have is very hard to change in pitch. I've also damaged my vocal cords about 8 years ago when I was seriously ill with chronic stomach problems (stomach acid flowing into my wind pipe, eating away at the lining and vocal cords) so my voice sounds raspy at the best of times. All in all, I probably should stick to cross dressing mainly because it's the most practical alternative for my situation. Wearing feminine clothes (but designs that can be considered unisex so as not to draw too much attention when at work) with no or very limited makeup (as I sweat heavily in even moderately warm weather I doubt heavy makeup would work for me anyway).
First time really hearing two trans women talk about how tough dealing with that "masculine voice" really can be. It's a big source of dysphoria for me and I'm glad you all were able to talk about how you got past that. 💜
This is what I needed. I recently came out to my family as a trans woman. They were extremely supportive, with my sister saying that she finally has a sister. I have been struggling with how to start my transition, and your stories have shown me that I am not alone.
Doubt is really tough for me. I watch so many trans UA-camrs talking about how they always felt like a girl but I didn’t start feeling that way until I was in my mid 20s. I’m constantly worried that I’m wrong about being trans and I think it’s a big part of why, 10 years later, I still haven’t transitioned
Everybody’s journey is different. Knowing at a young age is the common story, but many in the community also don’t realize until later and that’s perfectly okay and valid too. My biggest suggestion would be finding a gender affirming therapist who can help you explore things and hopefully help unpack some of the doubts and anxieties 💜
Hi there, I started feeling this discrepancy since 24 and I too worried about me not matching the 4-year-old-mindblowing-moment narrative. But the more I looked at my past experience with my gender, the more I realized how much I suppressed my actual gender to keep the real Me safe. There were a lot of mental barriers I built in response to societys message that I HAVE to be my assigned gender, or else. And the consequences of being trans in todays society are real. So I dont see a reason why you would want something for 15 years that is a detriment in societys eyes, if you are not truly trans. I think you are. Doesnt mean you have to transition though, but you have to realize yourself in the world in what way feels right to you. Live your life as you. Much Love, replace the fear with it
And most importantly, who are YOU to doubt YOU. It is your self, no one elses. Some people realize theyre gay with 50, but no one seems to question the reality of that as much as when a trans person realizes theyre trans with 50. Or no one asks gay people if they knew theyre gay at 4 years old to see if theyre gay enough, and only then they get a permit to date the same sex. Thats because society has long dismissed trans peoples very existence. You internalized that with doubt. Then you find a trans narrative, finally something that resonates even if not fully, so you understandably get hooked on that. But not everything is supposed to resonate cause you are your own person, and only you can know. There are as many ways to be trans as there are trans people. You are supposed to be nothing but unique. Commit to You.
All I'm going to say is don't wait until you're 61 like I did. There are so many advantages young trans folk enjoy today that I could not access when I was a teen and young adult. And all credit to Emma, and yourself Chloe, the younger you start the better.
Thanks for sharing that Skye 💜 While still definitely challenging, I agree that things have certainly progressed these days to provide more opportunities for us to come out and be ourselves 💜
Emma is awesome. Her assertiveness she's discovered about being true to herself and deciding what's right for herself - her journey - and finding she had support she didn't think would be there, is so inspiring. Her comments about the "perfection" of some UA-camrs we perceive are dead on - they weren't always who they are now. Thank you Emma and Chloe!
Emma, go girl, you are so brave and thoughtful. I am a retired nurse, field medic first responder and I know where you are going. Please be well and stay safe. I never have liked the term Hero, except in myth. You are what we should be, fearless and loving! Much love, Nomi 👸👍
Thanks you two ♥ I'm finally starting to come out at 30 and its soooo nerve wracking... I am so scared all the time: about my voice, about my hair, about so many things. Thankfully I have a supportive partner pushing me to find myself. This past weekend we shopped for an outfit together and went out to the movies with me finally fully as a woman. It felt amazing
Hi Ellie! Imagine that is wonderful feeling 💜 I definitely have many days of feeling gratitude for how far I’ve come and just being able to finally be me in the world 💜
This was very powerful for me. I’ve just last week came out to my wife as trans and explained my desire to be female and I’m also a bigger person size wise so I really resisted to Emma so thank you both for doing what you are doing it makes a real difference
Hi Chloe and Emma. I loved this chat and do believe that no one should compare them selves to anyone else. There is no real defination of what it feels like to be male or female and gender expression and individuality is really important. To many Trans women place a importance on being hyper feminine and under going a ton of surgery's and placing a huge emphasis on the physical self when our life experience and jpurney goes so much further and deeper then that. I think it is great Emma realizes all she has to do is be herself and express who she is as a woman. To many lose them selves in the competition and fakeness of trying to emalute some false perception of what they think a woman is. When your authentic and geninuine , your going to be so much happier in life. Plus you have what so few people have, the abality to be strong and confident and love yourself. Great podcast !
Hi Nia! Completely agree. Living authentically and living for yourself (not trying to live someone else’s life) is so important. I’ve known Emma for over 3 years now and it has made me so happy to see her grow into the confident woman she is today 💜
@@FluxXx7789 Hi Nathan, Your explanation as to how you got to this video is pretty typical. When I speak of being authentic and yourself, I am refering to your self as a human being. Behaving and acting as you feel comfortable. There is no way of "Acting" like a female, and no guide book on how to be a female. It is kind of silly to use terms like " I feel"like a female, because what does it feel like to be male or female ? There is how ever a "Gender Identity" and most people identify as male or female. This is not about genitals but more a psycholigical sense of who we are as a person and how we feel most comfortable living in the world. There for having a surgery to align our physical body (genitals) with our psychological sense of self is gender affirming. Acting like our selves as far as how we speak, our mannerisms, personal style, interests and activities is how we live authentically. A woman does not have to wear make-up, wear 6 inch heels and be ultra fem, sexy and gorgeous to men to be a woman. She can wear sneakers, jeans, enjoy sports and work construction or be a professional athlete and more comfortable expressing in less typically feminine ways and she is still a woman. Self expression and who we are, is different for everyone. As far as coming to You Tube to look at Trans womens vagina's, this is not that place. I would suggest a porn website, how ever you probably would not even be able to tell a "Trans womens vagina from a Cis womens Vagina" as vagina's all look different from female to female and its all pretty standard. Good Luck in your search on You Tube to seek out Trans Vaginas though.Perhaps you should google it. This way as a straight man, who denies Trans women there gender identity as females, you could remain straight by only looking at females assigned female at birth.
That's amazing...genuinely inspirational..I've come out to work colleagues and they've been amazing..I hate my voice too..definitely the biggest challenge as I pass.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
OMG what a wonderful coming out!! I had a very different start and over a year and a half after DIYing (messy, with a near death experience) am about to speak to a medical professional. Telling someone is one of the most important steps I ever did.
I'm definitely in that mental space of struggling with "am I even trans? Am I overreacting and just like feminine things?" But I think so much about myself as a woman, I feel more comfortable as a woman. But there's so many videos on youtube that, as of late and by no means am I referring to this video, but there are so many other videos that are so discouraging. I've watched videos where they say unless you're skinny, and in perfect health then you're going to have a lot of risks when beginning hormones, that sex would become unpleasant and that I wouldn't get any pleasure from it anymore. So tonight I'm kinda like.....do I even want to do this? I have more fear now than when I came out.
Can you elaborate what you mean by "thinking about myself as a woman"? I currently identify as a straight cis-male who cross-dresses, but I do wonder sometimes whether I'm trans.
Wow. 5 years old eh Emma! That's great , you have an amazing family and friends. Thank you for sharing with us. Love this very positive and inspiring video interview Chloe.👍💗
It's hard not give a fudge what other people think..at the end of the day just do your best.. I kinda live 2 lives too..I think all the male clothes have to be binned..tricky at work as it's a bland genderless uniform..❤
Voice dysphoria is the single worst thing , thank god of voice training. You will never have a typical female voice but you will with training have a uniquely androgynous voice that will become your signature.
I feel like it certainly is. It's one of those pieces that doesn't easily change over the course of transition. I want to feminize my voice more, but I also know that I worked hard to get it to the androgynous place that is currently in 🙂
Heya, loved the video, that's been a big help for me. I've been doubting myself massively and hearing this reminds me I dont need to have it all figured out. Thank you to both of you X
I’m so happy to hear that this was helpful for you 💜 Transitioning is definitely a journey, a journey where we figure a lot of it out along the way. But know that you’re not alone 💜💜💜
Hi there I’m demi from the UK, I absolutely love your stuff, it’s so helpful and I’ve litterally been working my way through all your videos and I really find it captivating. But I came out this August after living under the label genderfluid but always knew I felt more girlie than Male and this August the cork popped and I came out to my wife which was a struggle but last month we got past all the barriers and were actually living our best days together. But I told my sister and parents and extended family and I could have had a better reception and acception of me. So I told all my friends and some said goodbye and others love me for me so yeah....I have the real people I need around me now and also works been fantastic and are actually looking forward to having there first ever female engineer! So yeah I’m no a month and a bit in to HRT and this is the most amazing and best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Just the happiest I’ve ever been. Just looking forward to seeing the catapiller turn into a butterfly! ❤️❤️❤️ But I would love to chat oneday via email or fb messenger! As I think your such a wonderful and interesting person 🥰 demi.ulterego.gorgeous@gmail.com Demi leonie laisure (fb, insta & Twitter)
Hi Demi! Thank you so much for those kind words! Hearing a brief bit of your journey is so wonderful. You get to finally be your fullest self and it sounds like things have been going really well since coming out in August! I also went ahead and followed you on Instagram 💜
@@TheChloeConnection thank you so much. And it really has been a whirlwind but being me finally is so refreshing and uplifting to finally shed all that denial and aweful thoughts. So thank you been a big inspiration to me. And awe your too kind hopefully I’ll share some interesting stuff for you to see ❤️❤️
The only thing I will say was I constantly see people saying "HRT doesn't change your voice" yet my voice has dropped several pitches within the first three months, to the point that my mom beat me to my coming out reveal and straight up asked me if I was taking hormones 💀😂 (she's super supportive of my journey ❤️) and I've seen a good few UA-camrs as well go through the same.
Thanks for sharing! Are you taking testosterone therapy? I ask because your voice dropped. Testosterone therapy does change the voice. Estrogen therapy does not. That might be the confusion?
Hi, I've been going through your videos today- I feel a little conflicted I guess because I'd like to start HRT but I'm not sure if I should go to Planned parenthood or see if a primary care doctor can help. I heard some people say that planned parenthood wasn't the best for HRT but others said it was fine, so I guess it just comes down to individual experience. I know they don't gatekeep when it comes to HRT, where as a primary care doctor might. Sigh. Anyways, I enjoy your videos, thank you!🕊
Hi Zev Ana! I’m so happy to hear you’re enjoying my videos 💜 I have also heard mixed things about planned parenthood. It probably just varies based on where you live and what the local planned parenthood is like. I would say it couldn’t hurt to reach out to them if you are considering HRT.
@@TheChloeConnection Thank you for the reply, I'll reach out to them some time in the coming weeks. I'm simultaneously trying to find a therapist, I'd ideally like one before I reach out to planned parenthood just so there's that support system in place lol. Thank you for the advice, hope you're well.💜
Hi Ashley 💜 I think it was largely because she didn’t feel like she was ready to come out at that time, it didn’t feel like a real possibility for many years
I have identified as female my whole life but think about wanting to be male and how I would probably like it, sometimes and im just confused at this point idk if I should change my pronouns idk just if anyone has advice pls help
First, speaking from my own experience, I want to validate that it can feel scary or overwhelming to start to realize you might be trans. It can be exciting but also scary. My suggestion would be trying things like coming up with a new name and trying new pronouns. Nothing permanent of a change at this point, but try using them for yourself and if there’s anyone you trust to tell, ask them to use the new name and pronouns too. See if it feels “right” over time to go by a new name and pronouns. My other recommendation I often give to people is, if it is affordable for you, try out therapy. Therapy was a great space for me to explore my identity and do so with a person and in a space that was safe and nonjudgmental. I hope this helps 💜
I really hate my voice and can never seem to find a comfortable way orf practising outwith day to day life. But often when i get nervous, my old male voice slips back in automatically and i hate it. My room has paper thin walls and i always feel supid practising alone as my neighbors can hear me talking to myself. Yeah , id tell myself "Screw them!" but when its happening and im in that situation, its different because my nerves take over and i shy away from practisiing out loud. I also get very self concious that im sounding fake so i try and push my voice to be more feminine a little bit at a time, but i dont think im progressing very well. Sometimers it makes me just hate myself. Last week whilst standing at the bus stop, I encountered a total asshole of a bigotted old bastard who had the cheek to tell me that I dont make any effort with my voice. I just wanted to hit him so hard cos i hate people like that. They think theyre being funny coming out with snidey bigotted comments that make people feel suicidal I think im progressing a bit but I really do hate hearing my voice so seldom go outside and interact with people physically which i guess gives me even less practice. But theres only so much i can take before i need to get back inside and shut myself away from them all. I spent a week and a half working at a music festival a couple of weeks ago, but it was seriously tough going as i had nowhere to hide except for in my car which wasnt very private so had a few melt downs. I wish I had some freinds near me that i could hang out with. Maybe then I could feel more relaxed to practise my voice more. But the freinds I do have nearby are CIS gendered straight people who are accepting enough but ot very clued up or supportive. So I tend to avoid socialising with them these days as i end up just feeling worse cos i slip into a cringeful masculine voice out of nervousness then i go home and hate myself for days afterwards. I just wish i could be somewhere that i can relax and be myself more that i can practise my voice peacefully without feeling bad for it x
Chloe and Emma, you two are quite wonderful and precious! Thank you for the video! Emma, I want to apologize because a few short years ago I too might have assaulted you and myself with scriptures. May I atone with: Isa 56:3 KJV Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the LORD, speak, saying, The LORD hath utterly separated me from his people: neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree. Isa 56:4 KJV For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant; Isa 56:5 KJV Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off. I hope you will see that the ending pun and the use of the noun eunuch may seem crude, but I suspect that our LORD has no problem understanding the present vocabulary. Thank you both again!
I am just really curious, and would like an answer: how can you feel like a woman, if you have never been one? How would you know what it's like? All you know of women is based on looking at the outside of girl, you can never have or know what it is like inside mentally and emotionelly as a female.
Well there's growing evidence that trans women (born male) have brain structures similar to cisgender woman, and that trans men (born female) have brain structures similar to cisgender men. So I would argue that I do know what it is like emotionally and mentally, even though the outside of my body didn't match for many years. I also like to ask these very same or similar questions to cisgender women, because most cisgender women I've met don't know how to answer these questions beyond knowing they're women because that's what they've always known and that's how the world has also always viewed them - it's taken for granted and only questioned when it comes to transgender people. Although obviously different because it's sexual orientation and not gender, the same often happens for LGB people - how you know that you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, etc. is questioned but people knowing they are heterosexual often is not. If identity aligns with social norms, it's often accepted with minimal to no questioning. Once identity goes against social norms, it's more heavily scrutinized and seen as needing "proof" for it's existence because it's not taken for granted.
@@TheChloeConnection I'm a lesbian, I know I am a lesbian because I am a woman that likes other women. And how I know how it is to be a woman? Simple. I am a woman. Therefore anything I feel and think is that of a woman, no matter what I feel and think. Do you get where I'm coming from? Also, you have not have any brain scans, so how do you know you have a female brain? And a slightly feminized brain but mostly male brain, is not the same as a biological female brain. You have the idea of what you think being a female is like, and you like that idea more than being male, that's the truth. And there is nothing wrong with it. But saying that the brain is magically female, while all your others organs are male, even with no evidence, makes you look like you are reaching for anything to makes you somewhat biological female, instead of just accepting you want to live as a version of a woman, instead of trying to say you somehow are one. It's okay, and you can live however you like. :) But stay in reality...
I’m a woman too. That’s the reality. You’re cisgender. I’m transgender. I know I’m a woman because I am one, just like you. Your reality isn’t more valid than mine just because it’s different. And your argument of you being a woman - you basically said you’re a woman because you’re a woman. Which is true. My issue is why is that line of thinking fine for cisgender women like yourself, but always questioned for trans women? I’m not expecting you to have an answer for this, but the general narrative is that experiences of women like me are less valid simply because we were born in different bodies even though many of us have also known ourselves to be women our entire lives.
@@TheChloeConnection Hmm. I'm listening. Thank you for finally giving me some true insight, instead of just being mad, like many other I think would. This can give me some true understanding. Just know, that your patience cracked me. Let me explain: I have always been a trans ally, since before it was trendy. I have met trans people and love trans people. This defensive nature only ever begain, when I met my current girlfriend of five years. She's a massive turf. She almost made me go from constantly defending trans people, to almost convince me that the majority of the new wave trans people are autogynophiles. I was just tired of arguing with her, so I researched autogynophilea, and made the stupid new conclusion that almost all trans women were that, even though I deep down struggled with having these new, hateful feelings. But that research, and my GF constantly telling me that transwomen were invading the female world, and that "men" were taking control of female power the second we got some power, and that men pretending to be women were now wanting to be seen as better women while also taking female power. So: a male dominated world, even in womens world. But I always deep down knew, that this was bullsh*t. Terfs act like trans people are 50% of the population. Even IF transwomen had that agenda, being only 1% max could never do that. And transwomen do not have that agenda. It's foolish. So... I'm sincerly sorry. I will challenge my GF, even though I may never convince her - at least she can't convince me of the terf retoric either. Just know, that patience like yours can break though the walls of others and create understanding. For that I thank you. And that is a more "female" attributte than the angry rants of my cis gf ;) Would love to talk more with you, if you are interested. If so, where can I reach you? - with love, S
I have to say I was not expecting this response and it’s a pleasant surprise. The idea that trans women are “taking over” women’s spaces is very similar to the ideas that support bathroom bills - it’s problematic, insensitive, fearmongering that doesn’t represent actual reality. Trans women like myself just want to be respected for who we are, and doing so doesn’t take rights away from anyone else. If you want to talk more, my email is the “About” section of my UA-cam channel page
What are some of the doubts and fears that you have had in your transition? In what ways can you related to Emma's experiences? Share your support for her and her journey 💜
Hi
What can I do for fist thing ? I have no money to work with .
My main doubt is indeed whether I'm "trans enough" to start the entire process of psychological counseling, medication, body modifications (hair removal, surgeries), etc. etc., and whether it's even going to be worth it if I do.
I KNOW I'm more feminine than masculine, but at the same time I'm in my 50s already and living in a society (and I have several friends who have encountered that first hand) that still considers transgender persons as perverted freaks. As a result I'd end up losing my career of 25 years based and the use of the 6 year college degree I got before that.
Which'd end up with me losing my income, my home, everything I built, everything that's allowing me to even consider the costly and long process.
If it'd been legal 20 years ago here (it wasn't) and I'd known it even existed, I'd probably have gone through it back then, but now?
Doesn't help that my health isn't the best and men in my family tend to die young, so I may not have long to live after transitioning if I did start it. And that's if it even were possible to complete the process without having my health problems stop it.
My family (what's left of it, which is only my sister, everyone else is dead or has disowned us decades ago because we're not part of "the right church") would understand and may well fully expect it if I were to announce I'm trans, so no problem there, but as I said above colleagues (and especially bosses and potential clients) are a different matter entirely.
I can fully recognise voice problems when you're older. I've never had a very deep voice but the voice I have is very hard to change in pitch. I've also damaged my vocal cords about 8 years ago when I was seriously ill with chronic stomach problems (stomach acid flowing into my wind pipe, eating away at the lining and vocal cords) so my voice sounds raspy at the best of times.
All in all, I probably should stick to cross dressing mainly because it's the most practical alternative for my situation. Wearing feminine clothes (but designs that can be considered unisex so as not to draw too much attention when at work) with no or very limited makeup (as I sweat heavily in even moderately warm weather I doubt heavy makeup would work for me anyway).
First time really hearing two trans women talk about how tough dealing with that "masculine voice" really can be. It's a big source of dysphoria for me and I'm glad you all were able to talk about how you got past that. 💜
I’m glad to hear that Aurora and hopefully it was helpful for you 😊💜
This is what I needed. I recently came out to my family as a trans woman. They were extremely supportive, with my sister saying that she finally has a sister. I have been struggling with how to start my transition, and your stories have shown me that I am not alone.
I’m so happy to hear that you don’t feel alone and that you family is very supportive 💜💜💜
Doubt is really tough for me. I watch so many trans UA-camrs talking about how they always felt like a girl but I didn’t start feeling that way until I was in my mid 20s. I’m constantly worried that I’m wrong about being trans and I think it’s a big part of why, 10 years later, I still haven’t transitioned
Everybody’s journey is different. Knowing at a young age is the common story, but many in the community also don’t realize until later and that’s perfectly okay and valid too. My biggest suggestion would be finding a gender affirming therapist who can help you explore things and hopefully help unpack some of the doubts and anxieties 💜
Hi there, I started feeling this discrepancy since 24 and I too worried about me not matching the 4-year-old-mindblowing-moment narrative. But the more I looked at my past experience with my gender, the more I realized how much I suppressed my actual gender to keep the real Me safe. There were a lot of mental barriers I built in response to societys message that I HAVE to be my assigned gender, or else. And the consequences of being trans in todays society are real. So I dont see a reason why you would want something for 15 years that is a detriment in societys eyes, if you are not truly trans. I think you are. Doesnt mean you have to transition though, but you have to realize yourself in the world in what way feels right to you. Live your life as you. Much Love, replace the fear with it
And most importantly, who are YOU to doubt YOU. It is your self, no one elses. Some people realize theyre gay with 50, but no one seems to question the reality of that as much as when a trans person realizes theyre trans with 50. Or no one asks gay people if they knew theyre gay at 4 years old to see if theyre gay enough, and only then they get a permit to date the same sex. Thats because society has long dismissed trans peoples very existence. You internalized that with doubt. Then you find a trans narrative, finally something that resonates even if not fully, so you understandably get hooked on that. But not everything is supposed to resonate cause you are your own person, and only you can know. There are as many ways to be trans as there are trans people. You are supposed to be nothing but unique.
Commit to You.
"I'm just me" i love that.
All I'm going to say is don't wait until you're 61 like I did. There are so many advantages young trans folk enjoy today that I could not access when I was a teen and young adult. And all credit to Emma, and yourself Chloe, the younger you start the better.
Thanks for sharing that Skye 💜 While still definitely challenging, I agree that things have certainly progressed these days to provide more opportunities for us to come out and be ourselves 💜
oh wow, she has wonderful parents - cherish them girl, not every parent is anywhere as accepting.
Very true! Having a supportive family can really make such a big difference 💜
Emma is awesome. Her assertiveness she's discovered about being true to herself and deciding what's right for herself - her journey - and finding she had support she didn't think would be there, is so inspiring. Her comments about the "perfection" of some UA-camrs we perceive are dead on - they weren't always who they are now. Thank you Emma and Chloe!
Hi Katie! Thanks for sharing all of that! I’m glad that her words had such a positive impact. Emma really is a wonderful woman 😊💜
"nobody can tell me how I'm going to live, I'm me." Fuck. This is me right now.
💜💜💜
Emma, go girl, you are so brave and thoughtful. I am a retired nurse, field medic first responder and I know where you are going. Please be well and stay safe. I never have liked the term Hero, except in myth. You are what we should be, fearless and loving! Much love, Nomi 👸👍
Aww thanks for sharing this Nomi! I’ll pass this along to Emma to make sure she sees this 💜
Thanks you two ♥ I'm finally starting to come out at 30 and its soooo nerve wracking... I am so scared all the time: about my voice, about my hair, about so many things. Thankfully I have a supportive partner pushing me to find myself. This past weekend we shopped for an outfit together and went out to the movies with me finally fully as a woman. It felt amazing
I am transitioning to female. I have been for almost a year.. It is just the beginning, but never thought i would get this far...
Hi Ellie! Imagine that is wonderful feeling 💜 I definitely have many days of feeling gratitude for how far I’ve come and just being able to finally be me in the world 💜
@@TheChloeConnection yes it is!
💜💜💜
This was very powerful for me. I’ve just last week came out to my wife as trans and explained my desire to be female and I’m also a bigger person size wise so I really resisted to Emma so thank you both for doing what you are doing it makes a real difference
That’s so wonderful to hear. I’m so happy that you could relate to Emma’s story 💜 I also hope that coming out to your wife went well? 💜💜
existence is resistance!! down with the system. love to see 2 queens talk
Hi Chloe and Emma. I loved this chat and do believe that no one should compare them selves to anyone else. There is no real defination of what it feels like to be male or female and gender expression and individuality is really important. To many Trans women place a importance on being hyper feminine and under going a ton of surgery's and placing a huge emphasis on the physical self when our life experience and jpurney goes so much further and deeper then that. I think it is great Emma realizes all she has to do is be herself and express who she is as a woman. To many lose them selves in the competition and fakeness of trying to emalute some false perception of what they think a woman is. When your authentic and geninuine , your going to be so much happier in life. Plus you have what so few people have, the abality to be strong and confident and love yourself. Great podcast !
Hi Nia! Completely agree. Living authentically and living for yourself (not trying to live someone else’s life) is so important. I’ve known Emma for over 3 years now and it has made me so happy to see her grow into the confident woman she is today 💜
@@FluxXx7789 Hi Nathan,
Your explanation as to how you got to this video is pretty typical. When I speak of being authentic and yourself, I am refering to your self as a human being. Behaving and acting as you feel comfortable. There is no way of "Acting" like a female, and no guide book on how to be a female. It is kind of silly to use terms like " I feel"like a female, because what does it feel like to be male or female ? There is how ever a "Gender Identity" and most people identify as male or female. This is not about genitals but more a psycholigical sense of who we are as a person and how we feel most comfortable living in the world. There for having a surgery to align our physical body (genitals) with our psychological sense of self is gender affirming. Acting like our selves as far as how we speak, our mannerisms, personal style, interests and activities is how we live authentically. A woman does not have to wear make-up, wear 6 inch heels and be ultra fem, sexy and gorgeous to men to be a woman. She can wear sneakers, jeans, enjoy sports and work construction or be a professional athlete and more comfortable expressing in less typically feminine ways and she is still a woman. Self expression and who we are, is different for everyone. As far as coming to You Tube to look at Trans womens vagina's, this is not that place. I would suggest a porn website, how ever you probably would not even be able to tell a "Trans womens vagina from a Cis womens Vagina" as vagina's all look different from female to female and its all pretty standard. Good Luck in your search on You Tube to seek out Trans Vaginas though.Perhaps you should google it. This way as a straight man, who denies Trans women there gender identity as females, you could remain straight by only looking at females assigned female at birth.
@James Hama Hi James
@James Hama Thank You. Miami.
@James Hama cool stay safe and Be well. ✌❤
this makes me so happy thank you for making this
This is 100% me right now, 4 weeks after coming out to myself, accepting the person I am, the real me.
That’s so wonderful to hear 💜
That's amazing...genuinely inspirational..I've come out to work colleagues and they've been amazing..I hate my voice too..definitely the biggest challenge as I pass.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
OMG what a wonderful coming out!! I had a very different start and over a year and a half after DIYing (messy, with a near death experience) am about to speak to a medical professional. Telling someone is one of the most important steps I ever did.
Everyone who is anyone loves you Emma. I still remember the day you changed your name on Facebook and said hello to everyone as your true self. 🖤
Emma was incredibly inspiring! It was incredibly refreshing to hear someone from the trans community who exuded so much confidence and positivity.
Yes this definitely helps. Great to hear this perspective. Gonna be so helpful to people to hear it’s ok to be your version of who you are.
I'm definitely in that mental space of struggling with "am I even trans? Am I overreacting and just like feminine things?" But I think so much about myself as a woman, I feel more comfortable as a woman. But there's so many videos on youtube that, as of late and by no means am I referring to this video, but there are so many other videos that are so discouraging. I've watched videos where they say unless you're skinny, and in perfect health then you're going to have a lot of risks when beginning hormones, that sex would become unpleasant and that I wouldn't get any pleasure from it anymore. So tonight I'm kinda like.....do I even want to do this? I have more fear now than when I came out.
Can you elaborate what you mean by "thinking about myself as a woman"? I currently identify as a straight cis-male who cross-dresses, but I do wonder sometimes whether I'm trans.
Thank you so much for this interview Chloe and Emma. You have helped me so much!
Wow. 5 years old eh Emma! That's great , you have an amazing family and friends. Thank you for sharing with us. Love this very positive and inspiring video interview Chloe.👍💗
Glad you enjoyed it! It has been wonderful to be a part of and see Emma’s journey over the past several years 😊💜
It's hard not give a fudge what other people think..at the end of the day just do your best..
I kinda live 2 lives too..I think all the male clothes have to be binned..tricky at work as it's a bland genderless uniform..❤
Emma, I love the Goodwill story, that must have been so uplifting.
I think it really was 💜
Voice dysphoria is the single worst thing , thank god of voice training. You will never have a typical female voice but you will with training have a uniquely androgynous voice that will become your signature.
I feel like it certainly is. It's one of those pieces that doesn't easily change over the course of transition. I want to feminize my voice more, but I also know that I worked hard to get it to the androgynous place that is currently in 🙂
Heya, loved the video, that's been a big help for me. I've been doubting myself massively and hearing this reminds me I dont need to have it all figured out.
Thank you to both of you
X
I’m so happy to hear that this was helpful for you 💜 Transitioning is definitely a journey, a journey where we figure a lot of it out along the way. But know that you’re not alone 💜💜💜
The beautiful goddess Chloe back at it again with the amazing content :)
Awww thank you 😊💜💜
This was really helpful, thank you.
thank you so much for empowering trans people
Hi there I’m demi from the UK,
I absolutely love your stuff, it’s so helpful and I’ve litterally been working my way through all your videos and I really find it captivating.
But I came out this August after living under the label genderfluid but always knew I felt more girlie than Male and this August the cork popped and I came out to my wife which was a struggle but last month we got past all the barriers and were actually living our best days together. But I told my sister and parents and extended family and I could have had a better reception and acception of me. So I told all my friends and some said goodbye and others love me for me so yeah....I have the real people I need around me now and also works been fantastic and are actually looking forward to having there first ever female engineer! So yeah I’m no a month and a bit in to HRT and this is the most amazing and best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Just the happiest I’ve ever been. Just looking forward to seeing the catapiller turn into a butterfly! ❤️❤️❤️ But I would love to chat oneday via email or fb messenger!
As I think your such a wonderful and interesting person 🥰
demi.ulterego.gorgeous@gmail.com
Demi leonie laisure (fb, insta & Twitter)
Hi Demi! Thank you so much for those kind words! Hearing a brief bit of your journey is so wonderful. You get to finally be your fullest self and it sounds like things have been going really well since coming out in August! I also went ahead and followed you on Instagram 💜
@@TheChloeConnection thank you so much. And it really has been a whirlwind but being me finally is so refreshing and uplifting to finally shed all that denial and aweful thoughts. So thank you been a big inspiration to me. And awe your too kind hopefully I’ll share some interesting stuff for you to see ❤️❤️
@James Hama hi there 🥰
@James Hama thanks, and I’m well! 😊
Ohhh. I cried A LOT. Thank you girl so much for sharing this
It was such a heartfelt talk 💜 Thank you so much for watching 💜
The only thing I will say was I constantly see people saying "HRT doesn't change your voice" yet my voice has dropped several pitches within the first three months, to the point that my mom beat me to my coming out reveal and straight up asked me if I was taking hormones 💀😂 (she's super supportive of my journey ❤️) and I've seen a good few UA-camrs as well go through the same.
Thanks for sharing! Are you taking testosterone therapy? I ask because your voice dropped. Testosterone therapy does change the voice. Estrogen therapy does not. That might be the confusion?
I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only whos doubted if I'm trans even if I know I am
Hi, I've been going through your videos today- I feel a little conflicted I guess because I'd like to start HRT but I'm not sure if I should go to Planned parenthood or see if a primary care doctor can help.
I heard some people say that planned parenthood wasn't the best for HRT but others said it was fine, so I guess it just comes down to individual experience.
I know they don't gatekeep when it comes to HRT, where as a primary care doctor might.
Sigh.
Anyways, I enjoy your videos, thank you!🕊
Hi Zev Ana! I’m so happy to hear you’re enjoying my videos 💜 I have also heard mixed things about planned parenthood. It probably just varies based on where you live and what the local planned parenthood is like. I would say it couldn’t hurt to reach out to them if you are considering HRT.
@@TheChloeConnection Thank you for the reply, I'll reach out to them some time in the coming weeks. I'm simultaneously trying to find a therapist, I'd ideally like one before I reach out to planned parenthood just so there's that support system in place lol.
Thank you for the advice, hope you're well.💜
Hi .
I am washing it out little by little with come out .
I haveing no paysuan or little . I am 66 yr . Do you have any help for me .
Honestly thank you so much ❤🥺😭x
I look feminine enough but I cannot do feminine voice - wish there was a ma magic pill for that lol
Hi Jessica! I so wish HRT did something for our voices 🙃
Ur so pretty!
Thank you both for sharing.
😊💜
Why couldnt they come out in their home town? Im curious about this. Well im more curious about the reasoning.
Hi Ashley 💜 I think it was largely because she didn’t feel like she was ready to come out at that time, it didn’t feel like a real possibility for many years
I have identified as female my whole life but think about wanting to be male and how I would probably like it, sometimes and im just confused at this point idk if I should change my pronouns idk just if anyone has advice pls help
First, speaking from my own experience, I want to validate that it can feel scary or overwhelming to start to realize you might be trans. It can be exciting but also scary. My suggestion would be trying things like coming up with a new name and trying new pronouns. Nothing permanent of a change at this point, but try using them for yourself and if there’s anyone you trust to tell, ask them to use the new name and pronouns too. See if it feels “right” over time to go by a new name and pronouns. My other recommendation I often give to people is, if it is affordable for you, try out therapy. Therapy was a great space for me to explore my identity and do so with a person and in a space that was safe and nonjudgmental. I hope this helps 💜
@@TheChloeConnection I really appreciate this thank you
Your both very beautiful and brave. :)
Thank you so much! That's very sweet of you to say! 💜💜💜
I really hate my voice and can never seem to find a comfortable way orf practising outwith day to day life. But often when i get nervous, my old male voice slips back in automatically and i hate it. My room has paper thin walls and i always feel supid practising alone as my neighbors can hear me talking to myself. Yeah , id tell myself "Screw them!" but when its happening and im in that situation, its different because my nerves take over and i shy away from practisiing out loud.
I also get very self concious that im sounding fake so i try and push my voice to be more feminine a little bit at a time, but i dont think im progressing very well. Sometimers it makes me just hate myself.
Last week whilst standing at the bus stop, I encountered a total asshole of a bigotted old bastard who had the cheek to tell me that I dont make any effort with my voice. I just wanted to hit him so hard cos i hate people like that. They think theyre being funny coming out with snidey bigotted comments that make people feel suicidal
I think im progressing a bit but I really do hate hearing my voice so seldom go outside and interact with people physically which i guess gives me even less practice. But theres only so much i can take before i need to get back inside and shut myself away from them all. I spent a week and a half working at a music festival a couple of weeks ago, but it was seriously tough going as i had nowhere to hide except for in my car which wasnt very private so had a few melt downs.
I wish I had some freinds near me that i could hang out with. Maybe then I could feel more relaxed to practise my voice more. But the freinds I do have nearby are CIS gendered straight people who are accepting enough but ot very clued up or supportive. So I tend to avoid socialising with them these days as i end up just feeling worse cos i slip into a cringeful masculine voice out of nervousness then i go home and hate myself for days afterwards. I just wish i could be somewhere that i can relax and be myself more that i can practise my voice peacefully without feeling bad for it x
My uncle laughed my brother and girlfriend were cool. I'm 44 never. Wed and waited so long no shots in the gun.
I’m sorry about your uncle but I’m happy that your brother and girlfriend sound supportive. I hope you’re able to keep moving forward 💜
In process from self med to getting help with no i nsurance
Ordering cosmetics outfit etc.
1996 after graduaiton no dates no sex now nothing. Only optiko player 2
Chloe and Emma, you two are quite wonderful and precious! Thank you for the video! Emma, I want to apologize because a few short years ago I too might have assaulted you and myself with scriptures. May I atone with:
Isa 56:3 KJV Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to the LORD, speak, saying, The LORD hath utterly separated me from his people: neither let the eunuch say, Behold, I am a dry tree.
Isa 56:4 KJV For thus saith the LORD unto the eunuchs that keep my sabbaths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my covenant;
Isa 56:5 KJV Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters: I will give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off.
I hope you will see that the ending pun and the use of the noun eunuch may seem crude, but I suspect that our LORD has no problem understanding the present vocabulary. Thank you both again!
Thank you for sharing that D Lynn! 💜🙂
I am just really curious, and would like an answer: how can you feel like a woman, if you have never been one? How would you know what it's like? All you know of women is based on looking at the outside of girl, you can never have or know what it is like inside mentally and emotionelly as a female.
Well there's growing evidence that trans women (born male) have brain structures similar to cisgender woman, and that trans men (born female) have brain structures similar to cisgender men. So I would argue that I do know what it is like emotionally and mentally, even though the outside of my body didn't match for many years. I also like to ask these very same or similar questions to cisgender women, because most cisgender women I've met don't know how to answer these questions beyond knowing they're women because that's what they've always known and that's how the world has also always viewed them - it's taken for granted and only questioned when it comes to transgender people.
Although obviously different because it's sexual orientation and not gender, the same often happens for LGB people - how you know that you're lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, etc. is questioned but people knowing they are heterosexual often is not. If identity aligns with social norms, it's often accepted with minimal to no questioning. Once identity goes against social norms, it's more heavily scrutinized and seen as needing "proof" for it's existence because it's not taken for granted.
@@TheChloeConnection I'm a lesbian, I know I am a lesbian because I am a woman that likes other women.
And how I know how it is to be a woman? Simple. I am a woman. Therefore anything I feel and think is that of a woman, no matter what I feel and think. Do you get where I'm coming from?
Also, you have not have any brain scans, so how do you know you have a female brain?
And a slightly feminized brain but mostly male brain, is not the same as a biological female brain.
You have the idea of what you think being a female is like, and you like that idea more than being male, that's the truth. And there is nothing wrong with it. But saying that the brain is magically female, while all your others organs are male, even with no evidence, makes you look like you are reaching for anything to makes you somewhat biological female, instead of just accepting you want to live as a version of a woman, instead of trying to say you somehow are one.
It's okay, and you can live however you like. :) But stay in reality...
I’m a woman too. That’s the reality. You’re cisgender. I’m transgender. I know I’m a woman because I am one, just like you. Your reality isn’t more valid than mine just because it’s different. And your argument of you being a woman - you basically said you’re a woman because you’re a woman. Which is true. My issue is why is that line of thinking fine for cisgender women like yourself, but always questioned for trans women? I’m not expecting you to have an answer for this, but the general narrative is that experiences of women like me are less valid simply because we were born in different bodies even though many of us have also known ourselves to be women our entire lives.
@@TheChloeConnection Hmm. I'm listening. Thank you for finally giving me some true insight, instead of just being mad, like many other I think would. This can give me some true understanding.
Just know, that your patience cracked me. Let me explain: I have always been a trans ally, since before it was trendy. I have met trans people and love trans people. This defensive nature only ever begain, when I met my current girlfriend of five years. She's a massive turf. She almost made me go from constantly defending trans people, to almost convince me that the majority of the new wave trans people are autogynophiles. I was just tired of arguing with her, so I researched autogynophilea, and made the stupid new conclusion that almost all trans women were that, even though I deep down struggled with having these new, hateful feelings. But that research, and my GF constantly telling me that transwomen were invading the female world, and that "men" were taking control of female power the second we got some power, and that men pretending to be women were now wanting to be seen as better women while also taking female power. So: a male dominated world, even in womens world.
But I always deep down knew, that this was bullsh*t. Terfs act like trans people are 50% of the population. Even IF transwomen had that agenda, being only 1% max could never do that. And transwomen do not have that agenda. It's foolish.
So... I'm sincerly sorry.
I will challenge my GF, even though I may never convince her - at least she can't convince me of the terf retoric either.
Just know, that patience like yours can break though the walls of others and create understanding. For that I thank you. And that is a more "female" attributte than the angry rants of my cis gf ;)
Would love to talk more with you, if you are interested. If so, where can I reach you?
- with love,
S
I have to say I was not expecting this response and it’s a pleasant surprise. The idea that trans women are “taking over” women’s spaces is very similar to the ideas that support bathroom bills - it’s problematic, insensitive, fearmongering that doesn’t represent actual reality. Trans women like myself just want to be respected for who we are, and doing so doesn’t take rights away from anyone else. If you want to talk more, my email is the “About” section of my UA-cam channel page
Can't wait for the family drama when I can't hide it anymore