How To Fight For Your Marriage
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- Опубліковано 27 вер 2024
- If marriage feels difficult, it’s not because you and your spouse are incompatible. It’s because you’re married. On today’s episode, Jackie and Preston are joined by mentors and friends CD and Melody Fabien for a conversation about fighting for intimacy. They talk about recognizing dysfunctional rhythms, finding opportunities to connect, not building cases against your spouse, healthy confrontation, and utilizing the greatest tool God has given us to find oneness in marriage: communication.
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We should say what we mean and mean what we say but don’t say it mean. ❤
Love this!
Well said!!!
Love that! My husband says it mean ,hurts every time. My husband doesn't like conflict
@@christinejohnstone2400 so sorry and I pray God heals your heart. 😢. I am divorced but when I was married my late husband could be described by me in one word: BRUTE. He didn’t physically handled me but in every other way he was brutal to bring any type of correction. I learned to run to God like a child. Every time he wounded me, I went to tell. I have footprints on the courtroom doors in heaven. Our Heavenly Father knows how to handle them better than we ever could. Hang in there and don’t give up. The more you go to God and cry it out, the quieter your spirit will become because you will know you have been heard on high even if he doesn’t hear you.
Say it how you feel . Your perspective could take the wrong way??
"I want to expose a lie". That is some great communication. It says " this is what is going on in my head, but in my heart I know it's not true about who you are. However, it's what I'm thinking which is very well a thought planted by the enemy." I'll take this into my next relationship, the Lord grace me to have one...
Conflict doesn’t mean something is wrong, it just means you are married.
😂😂😂😂😂I like that one
SAY IT AGAIN.
Thank you for the course correction 💕🙏💕26years of marriage Again thank you for the reset💕
Love it!!
Or just means you’re in a long term human relationship, whether that’s parenthood, Marraige or friendship…for the younger generation they’re less likely to marry bc they think conflict is only in Marraige, but any meaningful long term relationship is going to have conflict
This was so so good. Been married 24 years but currently separated for five months. I definitely see satan at work. I am still fighting for reconciliation and will watch this again!
Just prayed for y'all! In Jesus Name, you will be reconciled, redeemed and restored!!
Lord heal the oneness in this marriage.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😊
Praying for y’all
Praise God for allowing you to see the video. Dont know your situation but continue to trust in the Lord, God bless!!!
I love the concept of exposing & confessing the enemy’s lies and then praying as a couple. ❤ so beautiful and crucial.
“Which leg, daughter?” Loll sent me
Now this is food for the soul. 23 yrs of marriage and I can testify to the faithfulness of God, and to the thwarting of the enemy plan to break up my marriage. ❤
Praise God!
It's not the enemy 🙄 it's you or him.
This podcast was God sent! The 4 of y'all need to be a regular! Thanking God for your obedience and willingness to share!
I was saying it too ahhhhh because yassss
Agreed this blessed me so much & made me go back and reflect on how my childhood played a part in my marriage failing this was deep 😢
“Spiritually maturing ppl who are willing to do the work. You don’t have to be mature, you just have to listen to God…” yesssss! That one💯💯💯
This is probably one if the best biblical conversations on marriage yet practical. Thank you guys for this investment in our Godly marriages!
The part about the husband spending time with the Master to get motivated then washing his wife with the Word and filling up her love tank… that made so much sense of the desires I’ve been having for my own marriage but I have totally come off as a nag. And we’ve been happily married for 11 years! Still figuring things out… Thank you for this!!! Improving marriages all over the place!
My wife and I had the privilege to attend a weekend to remember that was co-lead by the couple the Fabian’s are describing. When I tell you the humility they both walked in through the brokenness in their marriage convicted me deeply about my unforgiveness toward my bride. The couple mentioned they were writing a book about the experience hopefully you all have them on “With the Perry’s” when it drops. God is amazing!
I needed this right now. I’m beginning and working on my spiritual journey. My husband is not a believer. I sent this video to him. I hope he watches and most of all listens and the Holy Spirit moves him in the direction of the Lord. I pray this in Jesus’s name AMEN 🙏
Never give up and keep on praying for him. I’ve heard of many men in a marriage come to know Christ through His wife’s Godly example and love.
I’m 30 years in a good christian marriage. However, this right here. Is 🔥🔥🔥. God bless you Jackie and Preston for sharing this with us.😊
I didn’t want this to end. The chemistry was amazing and it spoke to exactly what I was battling with. Me and husband been at odds for days now.
Same...same.
I relate with you sis. And I pray a covering over your husband and you, devil’s a liar. May the enemy’s plans towards our marriages fail forever in Jesus’ name, amen!!!
Same
I can relate sis. My bestie sent this to me and it was godsent! I pray that we would all continue to cover our spouses and yield to the leading of the Holy Spirit in our marriages. May all of our marriages be blessed in Jesus’ name.
Likewise
When you no where near marriage but watching this video because all of the Perry’s videos are so viable😂
Ladies I fought for mine once I was truly Saved about 15 yrs into a 27 yr marriage, and my hubby was far from.. I fought on my knees, studied and learned and got counseling for years.
I could not save the relationship with the Enemy continually trying every way to divide. Criticism, alcohol, money, worldly things. I know God was/is for me, the Mother, worker, faithful wife, but I guess it wasn’t in HisWill that I stay with such a man who refused the Lord, tho the kids & I were baptized. He refused to go to counseling and just deserted me and left while we were at church.
God hates divorce but also stiff neck atheists who lie, cheat and steal.
I live happily single fully dedicated to God, no man.
How did you get over the pain amd heart break being you were the only one fighting?
@@foreverlovegreen8843it’s very tiring and saps energy out of you. I decided to leave when I realized it’s not up to me to fix him or keep taking him to the “river” to be fixed. So knowing that I did all I could, gave me peace. & once I had peace - I began seeking healing actively. -books, worship , support community, dreaming again …
You're strong... how did you hold on for so long?
Yes! Yes! Yes! I so love your comment because it is on point. There is peace, safety, God’s favor, His promises and more after such situations.
When one spouse demonstrates a behavior in the power of the spirit….it reveals the other spouses lack. When the correction is in the right tone, the bigger issue wasn’t you but your spouses heart……. 🎯
As someone who is preparing myself to someday be a wife, listening to this was so helpful and beneficial for my spirit. I'm gonna have to save this and come back to it later. This is what I needed.
First of all, yes to this entire podcast. Secondly, does anyone else think that CD favors Israel Houghton? Lol
I knew he reminded me of someone. Yes, that's it. They could be Cousins. Lol
Yep
This is BY FAR one of the most issue-inclusive podcast I have EVER seen/heard. You all left NO STONE unturned and it is the deepest deeply-rooted topic at the utmost level of prolific level. Thank. You. ALL!! 🙏🏽
Exaccttttlllyyy!! Like…wow!! So incredibly powerful! Powerful is an understatement, doesn’t even do it justice. It’s moving!
I repent, lord help me to create an active plan of action in my repentance, to walk consistently in the right direction in my marriage.
I’m not married but I learned so much, I loved the practical technique of exposing the lies, recognising this feeling is not absolute truth but sometimes exaggerated seeds planted by the devil. Being able to say it loud releases the burden on you but gives your spouse a chance to tell you how they feel too. This conversation was really a blessing 💕🙏🏾
SHALOM,
I HAD MY POTENTIAL WIFE LEAVE ME...
REFUSED TO BE DIRECT AND SET ME DOWN WITH HER ISSUE...
INSTEAD WENT TO SOCIAL MEDIA AND ALLOWED TWO WOMEN IN A CHURCH SHE JUST MET TO CONVINCE HE TO LEAVE.
I WAS THERE FOR OUR BAPTISM... I FELT THE ENERGY.
UNFORTUNATELY MANY BELIEVE THE DEVIL CAN'T DECEIVE THOSE IN THE CHURCH...
THEN YOU GET TOLD HE'S DECEIVING YOU... CRAZY.
REGARDLESS I HAVE PROPHETIC DREAMS THAT COME TO PASS, ONE WAS WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.
IF SHE LEAVES ME, THEN WAR WILL COME AND I WILL BE ON A SOLO PATH WORKING FOR THE KINGDOM.
***DON'T LISTEN TO DEVIL, LISTEN TO LOVE*** THIS IS WHAT TMH WANTS! LOVE!
ALL LOVE!
I’m not even married but this podcast blessed me 🙌🏽
Me too!!
Sis my life is changed!
Me too I want to be prepared so I like watching podcast like this.
Me too! And when I first saw it I kinda of wrote it off and didn't listen right away because I had the thought "like what does this have to do with me? I'm single and unmarried". I'm so glad I chose to not listen to that thought
Yooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
I’m not religious, but I really enjoyed this talk from all of their perspectives! The last story about the AT&T guy got me! Melody was so funny, but that question, “are you happy,” really gets a lot of people. Often times marriage will come to many points when you ARENT happy, like CD and Melody were saying. Just because you arent happy in that current point of your relationship doesn’t mean you didn’t make an oath to work it out and do life with your partner. Beautiful stories!
Living in my singleness and loving this😭🙏🏽 thank y’all for opening a door for me to keep faith in my future marriage 🙏🏽
I’m not married, but hearing Mrs. Fabien talk about how she needs multiple days to really internally process stuff makes me feel so seen!! It’s hard with my girlfriend since we’re opposites in that way and I feel a pressure as the man to resolve things, but to know that it’s actually okay to take time to be with God first is so encouraging 😖😭
This was SOOOO GOOOODDD! When y'all started talking about the devil trying to get us to leave our spouse!!!! I used to have those exact thoughts whenever I got upset with my husband. The only difference was the devil would tell me to leave and take the children. He would glamorize the idea of divorce and coparenting every other weekend because I would get more time to myself, and he would try to appeal to my ego by telling me that my husband doesn't appreciate me but when I leave he'll finally see what he had and constantly begging me to come back and I would be "the one that got away". In my pursuit for Jesus and speaking the name of Jesus over my marriage God revealed to me that the Devil was trying to use me to bring my husband unimaginable emotional pain and send him in a downward spiral. God had to give me the tools and scripture to cast that enemy out of my mind. This past year God has truly transformed our marriage!
We do the hand on the arm with one “excuse me.” We always get complimented on our children’s manners but it’s because my mom’s wisdom was drilled into my head when I had kids. -She said, “how you allow them to act in your home, is how they will act in public.” So whenever addressing behavior I would ask, “do I want that behavior out there?” And that’s how we decided what was ok, and what wasn’t.
That balancing each other out 😳 is not for the faint of heart… Lord have mercy…
Not me looking at Preston’s shirt thinking “aye we got the same merch!!” like I didn’t buy it from y’all 😂
I'm listening to the podcast now, and it's soooo good! I love the part Melody mentions about recognising the devil was at work. At it is such a good handle for relationships even beyond marriages.
Take every thought captive and present it before the Lord.
Thank you so much for this, the Fabiens and The Perrys. It's such a blessing.
Shout out to you too Kim, we love you!❤
Whew!! Lemme tell u that hit me right in the spirit it made me think of my ex and me dumping him as i got closer to God and all the methods that would cause me to slip up from time to time but eventually i stood strong and realized what was happening spiritually and i consistently resist his tactics no matter what random avenues the devil uses praise God!
I listened first on Spotify but here listening again. This was SO edifying. I am single but there was a lot of great information talked about. Please have them back more. They were awesome ❤
I watched this video before, but for some reason I scrolled passed it again.. read the title and thought about me and God and my marriage with Him. So now I gonna watch it again, believing that God will speak to me from a different perspective
Idk why I even clicked on this because my marriage feels so hopeless I usually dont bother to watch any marriage videos. Thx for the encouragement
I pray things are better!! Continue trusting God 🙏🏾
My mom did the same thing for my siblings and I, where we would put our hand on her arm if we wanted to talk. So grateful my mom taught me that
One thing I didn't like about this podcast is that it ends. I'm in awe how all of you trust God. Wow ! I am blown away.
I had to listen to this in increments. There was so much emet (truth) that it forced me to have to pause and evaluate the actions or lack thereof in my marriage. I'm experiencing a separation from my husband that pushed me to look at previous abandonment I had undergone. Despite the separation, I still fight in prayer for my marriage against the enemy who I know only comes to kill, steal, and destroy.
This got uploaded at the RIGHT time!! Communication tools, Discernment, past examples, legacy, authority in oneness and the recognition of spiritual warfare ... wwhheeww .... Pray for me as I speak to my wife, seek oneness and expose some lies. #MarriageisGodsImage
Excellent interview! I advise all married couples to listen to this. I'm single, and it blessed my soul. It is my prayer that the Lord send me a spiritually mature Man of God!
Just to add as he said this in the video...maturation is a process. Be open that your spouse may not come spiritually matured, may be a progress or process for them as we are all in the process of maturing. ♥️
That is something the Lord has been showing me. Cause he had to tear my list up. Lol, my spiritual list i required was exhaustively long and unattainable because I couldn't even measure up to my list without Christ. So how could I expect my desired man to do so?
@@beingroxySay that sis. 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you all so much for your transparency🙏🏾❤️
My marriage will be 3months and what I have learnt here I'll run with it for another 20 years. Thank you 😊
This episode is my favorite, not because the others lacked value but because it resonates with my Haitian heritage. I'm proud of Mr. Daniel's wisdom, which has blessed my husband and me. It's unfortunate that Haiti is often associated with mostly Voodoo, overlooking its strong Christian leaders. Melodie and Daniel serve as wonderful mentors, and their impact is significant.
Thank you, Perry family, for your inspiring message.
I listened to the podcast and I’m very glad that you all were comfortable to open up about the warfare side of marriage because I am single and this is good knowledge for me to have when entering a marriage. I experience a lot of warfare now but not a lot of believers are aware of these things.
Awesome Teaching on Marriage, we need more of this in the Body of Christ. Marriage is work and Ministry that starts AT HOME!!
That little intervention where Jackie quickly exposed the lie and they clapped was heart warming‼️🥰know god has a plan for me and my future legacy💯
I remember CD and Melody came out to Camden when I was in youth group and taught on purity. Their ministry is such a blessing. Now, being married, I appreciate this conversation so much. It’s crazy how the enemy does not have a new trick in his book! He uses the same tactics and honestly better for us identify and expose him.
It had not been easy to always discern when spiritual ware fare is taking place in our marriage but we’ve recently been seeing how vital it is to be on guard. And to have friendships, accountability, mentors that love Jesus and are spirit led as we continue to mature spiritually.
We have those people in our lives but I usually shy away from reaching out to them because of fear of sharing too much. But I’m SO grateful that you guys shared your stories because it helps me know, “oh it’s not just me” and to be bold enough to pray against the attacks and seek council.
To the Perry’s and the Fabien’s,
Thank you.
I'm a teenager but this really spoke to me. I realised that most of my generation's expectations around marriage, sex, relationships, friendships, children and so much more, has stemed from secular ideologies because worldly people are leading these conversations. I'm very grateful for all the podcasts and shout out to the Fabians🥰, as soon as you said that you're starting a podcast I searched it😹. I'm here for it... each and every second of it. God bless you all❤️👏🏽
The world, especially all the men and women digesting all that “red pill” rhetoric need to hear this. This conversation is anointed. The wisdom, revelation and tools received in this talk is gold!
I’m not married yet but thank You Jesus that I came across this podcast. God is so intentional. 🙌🏽
That "lust of the eyes" story was eye opening. Thank you for reminding us we gotta have a battle mindset to protect our marriages. I'm not married yet but this was needed.
Imma need yall to start dropping at 2pm because I need something with substance to watch rn 😤😫 Im tired of hitting the "Notify Me" button 🙄😭 Anyways love yall 🤎
I don't tend to watch any podcast from start to end due to time... but this was way too good. Part 2 please. The 4 of you have a great presence together. Invaluable advice and wisdom shared and delivered beautifully.
This conversation was good. Just an observation...I say this carefully, Preston, often interrupts others as they are sharing their own experience to talk about himself. It's like Oh yeh, me too! that happened to me! and the proceeds to derail the other persons train of thought. Jackie is able to stay focused and share without derailing the other persons testimony.
Thank you guys for bearing your hearts on the topic and revealing the depth and lengths of the enemies plans against marriages.
Many marriages including those that are yet to happen will be better because of this🙏🏾
Such a fruitful conversation full of wisdom. And from one Ayisyen to another, Kenbe fèm nan Bondye
I’m listening to the podcast and wow ! My husband is being attacked with the same nightmares! It made me feel some type of way because I didn’t understand what was going on. I’m so grateful for this episode !
My husband has been attacked with these nightmares many of times. Loved this podcast and the emphasis on confession and fighting TOGETHER. I really needed to hear this. Dreams like this can bring on shame but there’s nothing to be ashamed of once one realizes it’s a spiritual attack. Will likely do a repeat listen
53 years in October and I still learned a lot.
I can’t even begin to put into words how much I appreciate this episode. Thank you so much. May God continue to bless and use y’all for His honor and glory
Whew!! 48:45
This whole breakdown is so clarifying. Protect your marriages! ❤ Pray together and keep God at the center of it all!
Very powerful and needed! Literally the words were taken from my brain today as a wife and conversations we've recently had!!! Love my Sister Melody Fabian, she's the real deal! Went to school with her! ❤❤😊
Love the Perry's always holds me accountable in my marriage and I'm 19 years in my marriage! I pray that God continues to bless you both & the Fabien's and keeps your families and ministries!!! 🙏🙏🙏 The devil is definitely at war w/ our marriages...🤔🙌
I 1000% wish this could be translated to Spanish to share with other folks. This was such a blessing to me. TY!
This was so Good. Even though I'm divorced for over 10 years I can still access this information for my next husband if God wants to be married.
I listened to this the other day on Spotify and told myself that this was one I needed to sit down, dissect, and digest....Needless to say, I just got so excited to pop up on UA-cam. Praise be. 👏🏼 Round two, here I come.
I enjoy every episode but this is by far my favorite episode. Sooo theological and so practical ! Beautiful episode
This was EVERYTHING!! I’m in an awesome marriage for 23 years and all of this was a complete blessing to me. I so want to send this to at least three couples… I know needs to hear this. Wow… what a blessing this conversation is
MORE… MORE … MORE 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
This episode is so so good! Such a convicting, NECESSARY session. Hands down BEST conversation I have heard regarding fighting for my marriage.
The “love tank” message was soooo encouraging
This…..just this. All of this! I’ve never heard so much transparency and relatability in my life.
This episode broke me down into tears it was very revealing for me helped me and will help my marriage
I am speechless! I am so thankful what a profound conversation…god is goooood! The dream part hit HARD for me. For a whole week these dreams came out of nowhere, and I wasn’t sure if it came from god or not. I feel as though god lead to me this conversation and I know now those dreams did NOT come from God. Those dreams brought nothing but hurt and emotions, I know God would not want me to feel that way. ❤
"Say what we mean. Mean what we say...but don't say it mean". That right there.
Loved every second of this podcast! Such a blessing! Thank y’all! God bless! ❤
Listening to this as a single woman and I am so blessed... May God lead me through it all... May I find myself with someone we can do kingdom with because it is beautiful bowl of everything....
This was fire! I haven’t taken this many notes in a while! Thank y’all!
Can confirm, scheduling time for intimacy to fit time together in a busy schedule can be a blessing.
this was full of so much wisdom!! i'm single but this was edifying in general
I want to give a quick testimony. I started watching this video a couple of weeks ago when it came out, and I was so excited about watching it because I've grown to love discussions about Godly marriages. Well as I was watching it, envy starting weighing on me so heavily to the point where I literally had to turn the video off less than halfway through. I was hearing, "Look at them. They're married, and you're not. What are they even complaining about? They have it all. You're never going to get married," and I was like what the heck because the thoughts were so strong. It was absolutely jarring to say the least. Well, a couple days later, the Lord revealed to me that there was a spirit of envy that was on me, and he helped deliver me from it. Now, today as I watch this video I know exactly why the devil didn't want me to finish it. Y'all are exposing how deep the devil's lies and attacks can be towards us while we're bringing glory to God. I'm just so thankful to God for moving by his spirit, because the devil is so busy.
People of God, beware of what the devil is trying to do in your life. Pray, fast, and ask the lord for discernment. Remember that discernment isn't just being able to tell the difference between good and bad, it's being able to tell the difference between what's good and what's "almost" good. God bless y'all. ❤
This is a great conversation. I don’t desire marriage, but this blessed me so much.
I'm engaged and oh my!!! The lessons I'm learning in terms of resolving conflict with my fiance are priceless.
THE PODCAST WAS GREAT! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE VIDEO ON IT!!!!!!! THANK YOU LORD FOR THE PERRY'S AND THE FABIEN'S AS THEY HELP GUIDE OTHERS TO A MORE HOLY WAY OF LIFE. THANK YOU LORD!
“it eliminates excuses when you love well” Woooooow
Wow! Wow! Wow!!! Thank you Lord this is gold! This convo is needed. Powerful 🔥🔥🔥
30 years of marriage and this conversation was so very powerful and 💯
This has to be the best conversation I ever heard in my entire life! I have never been in relationship in all my 25 years of living but I do know the day I do, this video will forever be a reference! GOD BLESS YOU ALL
this was a beautiful and difficult conversation. Hit me hard. Thank you all for allowing the Lord to speak through you guys.
@1:07:04 that is a powerful word
Glory to God! Every one of these podcasts is such an encouragement! The focus on the Lord makes it edifying for singles and married even when y'all talking marriage!
I already listen to the podcast, and I learned more about God and relationship than ever before
I have been married 29 years and this has blessed me so much. My husband and I have been trying to be better for each other. We are on the right track! All praises to God!!
"SAY what you mean, MEAN what you say, but DON'T say it mean."-that is a WHOLE WORD And potential workshop right there. Thanks for y'all vulnerability and transparency. THIS is SOUL food!
The enemy destroyed my marriage but I know God is the God of redemption and restoration. I’m believing in Him to give me back everything the devil took from us. I’m praising Him in advance.
I learned and enjoyed this conversation, and I appreciate receiving biblical teaching from a fellow Christian Haitian 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Listening to you guys has me crying because this is what I've been praying for in a marriage for years. I've been standing for my marriage for 3 yrs because my husband was unfaithful he has ended that relationship a bit under ur ago. But isn't actively working on our marriage but gets mad when I am hurt and don't trust him or when I have an emotional breakdown. I live off of a Spanish song called el alfarero. Because in this fire am getting cleansed.
May God give us an amazing Godly marriage after these hellish years. You guys do great showing how Godly marriage means actively working with God on your self for your spouse.
This was a blessing! Thank you for sharing your stories.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!! This is so useful and empowering
My #1 prayer point outside of family is men - black men re all it's flaws. To watch 2 couples - specifically 2 men in discussion about marriage, valuing their wives and their lives in CHRIST JESUS and bringing up their children - and of course so-so much more!
thanx LORD!
Can already tell this will be a good one
Me too❤
This was probably one of my FAVORITE episodes to watch so far. EXCELLENT and enlightening conversation on marriage. Thank you for this gift.
It stops with me!!!! Breaking it for my children and their children!!
We need a part 2! Loved every minute of this podcast, I didn't want it to end. May the Lord continue to bless both ministries bc they are soooooo needed!
Wow, what a blessing! Enjoy hearing and learning what God intended marriage to be. Both couples through truth and transparency make marriage look so beautiful, all while allowing God to get the glory! P.S. Jackie I have loved your teachings and all that God has placed in your heart to share, but you always seemed a little sad and angry. I am glad I continued to watch your videos, as your burden seems lighter, and your presence seems more comfortable. Thank you for allowing God to use you and share your journey, it has blessed me greatly. Thank you all💜
My fiancé and I watched this together over FaceTime last night and it blessed us 🙏🏾 thank you all for the transparency and Godly wisdom you all share. This is so good!