Why did yall stop having alotta kids?!
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- Опубліковано 20 сер 2024
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Having more siblings doesn’t mean that each sibling will be willing to contribute to their parents.
I know you're right!! I have an estranged half sister that's 15 years my senior, and I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her when it comes to my parents!
This! Fr fr!
That is so true and oftentimes it will still end up being just one person
Exactly! It’s 4 of us but only 2 ever contribute time or money! 🫤
Years ago as a visiting nurse, I had a client that was 80 years old. The client had three children. Two were married and had children. The youngest of the three was unmarried and had no children. She was born when her mother was 50 years old. All the burden of care was placed on her.
'CAUSE THEY EXPENSIVE!!!!!!
🎯😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Period
Sho is 😂
And annoying as hell! Ijs let's be honest lol😂😂
And a natural pain in the butt! 🤣🤣
I never wanted kids. Then I became a teacher and I definitively did not want to have kids. Between the loss of freedom, the complications that can happen during pregnancy, childbirth, mental health, emotional and financial stress, constantly worrying if they are safe, the judgment moms get, the unexpected things that pop up,……..it’s too much for me. I do my part in the classroom and in my community and then I send them back home lol
Same! My students are my birth control 🤣
My oldest Son feels the same way he’s been working with kids since he graduated College and he said Nope I am good he said after working all day with kids and then coming home to kids demanding his time definitely is a No No. My Sister feels the same way and she doesn’t even work with kids. She loves her freedom to travel and spend money on herself.
And we love you for it❤❤❤
The constant worry will definitely get you.
Same!!! Teacher also, and CHILD-FREE!
1. I only have 1. I was married, we got a divorce.
2. The world and other people's children are horrible
3. These younger parents are horrible
4. I can't handle not being able to fix all of her woes
5. School isn't schooling anymore
6. Work continues to work
7. You can't trust anyone - ain't no village no mo
8. It's expensive financially, emotionally, physically, alll of the 'alies.
9. Grandparents want to live too, not just babysit
10. I enjoy being a woman, not just a mom.
Girlllllllll
#10 💯💯💯💯
You just PREACHED !!!! HALLELUJAH
This post is amazing🎉😂
Facts 💯… one and done!
When you said 10 kids Fred almost passed out! 😂
Lol
grandma had 18
@@Karmin19991 And I thought we had it hard with 4
😅😅😅😂😂
My mom had 5 children and until this day I’m only close to and in contact with 1. As far as being sick and things like that, I’m the one who took care of her until she died in my arms 24 years ago. So, sometimes more children don’t mean anything.
That's a fact !! I'm the youngest of 4 and when my mother became ill, I took the responsibility of caring for her because my siblings didn't really step up. But all the way to the end, my mother knew that I loved (love) her dearly and I Know she loved me to pieces ! 🥰 I could do no wrong.. Lol !!!
This, and sadly this is a common tale.
Amen.. was waiting for someone to say it. Whew!
I feel you on this one.
I'm a only child. I think I miss the closeness of a brother or sister, but that is no guarantee. I know people are closer to a friend than a blood relative.
Exactly I have two siblings but only close with one, and she’s 19 years younger than me ❤
1)Kids get up on the weekends like they have a job. Ummm...we sleep in on the weekends.
2)Expensive
3)Inflation
4)Daycare
5)You have to feed them everyday.
6)Cause we tired!!!
7)Again:They are Expensive!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
My thoughts exactly
The first one is it!! Lol
You nailed it!
I had my first child at 24, and my second child at 27. I’m 47 now and can finally live my life. I had only planned on having one child. I love my children but it wasn’t easy raising them. They are expensive, time consuming, attention seeking and sometimes disappointing.
I had my kids at the same ages as you and I'm 36 now but often the youngest parent at the school. I don't think I'd want to do my 40s recovering from pregnancy and chasing toddlers 😩
U told the truth....u shall be blessed mama. I believe it
You just described my EXACT experience at parenthood...I was 23 when I had my first and 27 when I my second. WOW, it's good to know I'm NOT alone.
Say it louder for the people in the back. I'm 47, I have 4 adult kids, and finally LIVING MY LIFE!!❤❤❤❤
And that disappointing part can be draining 😪
I have 4 children and I love seeing their bond. From family gatherings, them planning siblings trips, even watching them resolve disagreements. It makes me proud to be their mother ❤❤❤❤
amen!!!!❤
I'm happy to just be an uncle. My wife is happy to just be an aunt. Before I knew how they got here, I wanted 12 kids;...then seeing the actual birth process televised on public television changed that forever. We're good.
Lol! Similar thing happened to me when I was 16, but it was in person. I said right then and there I would NEVER! I think every child needs to see the childbirth process.
@@Ay-B I was obsessed with those reality tv shows that showed the pregnancy and birthing process as a child. In my teens i loved birth vlogs all the family vloggers were posting and researching everything involved in the labour process. I still want as many kids as my body can handle. It could be 3 or 4. It could be 1. Nothing about labour and delivery was horrific or disgusting to me, just bodies doing what they were built to do. Different strokes for different folks i guess 😂
@@mairon7770I was the same as you and I've had 3 kids and 4 miscarriages. Ya birth and recovery can be gross but you recover and move on 😅
@@mairon7770 My husband and I came from a VERY large family, so we wanted a large family, four girls and one boy (that was what my husband wanted) but God gave us two girls (one He took back to heaven) and one boy, He is so good because He didn't have to give us any, God bless.
Yeah I just want my 2 nieces.
This discussion fulfills me....I have no kids, I'm 50 and so content. One of my college students asked me, "Well who's going to take care of you when you get older"...having kids doesn't mean they will take care of you. I have my peace and contentment- that is all that I need.
Absolutely not. My grandma had 10. My mom had 3 (but she lost 3 through miscarriage/stillbirth). But my wife knew years before she ever got pregnant that she was “one and done”. I was on board too. After we had our one (she’s now 3) my wife was firm in her choice. She adores our kid, but NO part of her wants to do this again. NO. PART. AT. ALL.
We waited 10 years into our marriage to become parents. We loved the freedom. Even one kid challenges that to a great degree. Neither of us can even imagine having a whole bunch of kids.
Love this!
Yup
I fully agree - there is so much pressure to have a bunch of kids, but one is MORE than enough.
One and done is where it’s at. You get the kid and a degree of freedom which gets better as they get older.
Even with a lot of siblings, that does not mean all the responsibility of caring for an elderly parent would be split. Sometimes, it still falls on one or two. Great topic!🎉❤
Yup, my mom has 2 sisters, and she is the only one who takes care of their mothet most of the time even though they all live in the same city.
@queencleopatra007 That's a lot to deal with, but God has equipped her. I'm praying for you and your family! God bless you all!
😂😂😂😂 Oh, my God!!! He is SO right!!! My grandma ALWAYS said, "Everytime yo grand daddy come in from that damn garden, I get pregnant!!!". She had 18 kids. The BIGGEST family full of laughter & love.
It's a blessing she lived through all those births to tell about it
Man, my great grandma had 20 kids... 2 died as children....I can't even IMAGINE what life would be like popping out a child every year for majority of my life!
I've know alot of large families 4-5 siblings and it still comes down to one or two children that take care of mom and dad.
Lol I laughed at the part about having more people to take care of aging parents but I’ve seen many large families where only a few children take responsibility and help with the elderly parents
I’ve seen it where all six children did rotate shifts. It does and doesn’t happen.
Before having kids, I always wanted 4. After having 2, I was all set. The mental health piece applied to me. I realized that I didn’t have the mental capacity for more than 2.
Meeeee! I had my first one at36 and this one(my last one) at 38. Nah- it’s too much mental stress.
YES!
I wanted 4 (2 of each). I have 3. Once I had my baby girl, I was good. I don't want anymore😂😂
@@mirrissacruz38 I had mine at 37 & 39. They're teens now. GOD gave us 2 and the decision-making abilities for me and my husband to be like "we good".
One of my grandmas had 10 kids and the other had 13 kids, but 3 of them died young. My aunt had 8 kids. By the time my mother start having kids in the 70s, birth control pills were widely available. She only had us three. Both sets of my grandparents had farms and needed kids for farmhands. My mother also started working in people's homes when she was 16 for 50 cents an hour. People in the past had kids in hope of building something that they could pass on to their kids and grandkids. Parents today have a few kids in order to try to give their kids a comfortable childhood.
I have a friend who just had her 8th. Another friend who has 10 and my husband and I just talked and we plan on trying for our 4th next year. I originally wanted 6 or more but my husband only wanted 3 so we’ve compromised on 4. My children are each other’s best friends and I pray they stay close because that’s the relationship I’ve nurtured in them and I continue to help them build their relationship together. ❤
My parents had five and lost one at birth. My siblings and I gave our parents 10 grandchildren, I contributed three. I think big families are great if the parents can afford them.
They had kids back in day because of contraceptives (they were not invented)! They needed kids for the fields and plantations to plow plant. The ratio of profit after taxes and living has significantly changed (people are poorer now). 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️✋🏽👎🏼😱
Well said. It costs too much and the roi is limited
Meanwhile I’m currently 9 months pregnant 🤰🏽🤦🏽♀️🙄😂😂😂 lol love y’all 💕
I love when you two have a conversation, I like hearing both perspectives. God bless you guys!
We over here tryna break generational curses not feed them. Having a bunch of kids when you can’t afford them is wild. 2 is all I have and all I want. My grandparents on my momma side had 5 and they were pretty well off but my grandparents on my daddy side had 6 and they were poor.
Your husband was correct no one wants to spend their entire life raising kids, but I did have one and I wish I had more...but God said other wise
After baby number 3, I made up my mind, no more. I couldn't go through another 9 months of doctors poking and prodding me.
I am Gen X (50) and got pregnant right after graduation. I was supposed to go into the Army, passed all the tests except the pregnancy test 🤦🏾♀️. My daughter is an only adult child. I did want more children; however, being a single parent was the best birth control ever invented. I was determined not to be a single parent again. No husband = no more kids. Once I did get married, she was 14 and I was not starting over. However, guilt happens from time to time because she doesn't have siblings from me. She does from her biological dad but it's not the same IMO.
Like EJ, I wanted more children, but I divorced after just having one. And as FJ said...just one can be expensive. I'm happy though my daughter watched me get my BA and my MBA and I watched her get her BS so we did alright. As the oldest of 3 girls...It would have been ideal to share responsibilities for our Mom. The reality was that I cared for my Mom for the last 5 years BY MYSELF. My Sister's lived their lives with their spouses and families. Sadly, our Mom recently passed away. I think whatever your perspective on the size of families often...reality isn't what you imagined.
I'm sorry for your mom's passing. I hope you feel her guidance and love inside you every day. And congrats to you and your daughter for your degrees! I bet your mom was happy and proud of y'all every day, and she's in Glory now braggin' on y'all! :)
@@amortranquilo661 Thank you so much. I appreciate your condolences. Sending good thoughts to you and your loved ones.🌸
This was well said and Beautiful.
Also, I second this. Well said as well. Much love and success to you both.
My sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. My prayers are lifted for you and your family as you go through the grieving process. 😢
Congratulations to you and your daughter on your amazing accomplishments. 🎉
And I agree with you. No matter how many siblings you have, the responsibility of your parent or parents usually falls on one. I know because I was that one for both of my parents. I received more lip service (in the form of a lot of questions or complaints) and no actual help.
May God bless you and give you peace, comfort, and strength.
I lost my mother in December of 2020 and I know that it's only God that has helped me to get where I am in this process and He is the only one that will continue to be with me on this journey. 🙏🏽
The assumption is that the siblings are all on one accord once they get older to take care of the parents. However, you can have multiple siblings and the burden will still fall on 1 or 2 of them.
I totally get what Fred means about the possibility of death! One of many reasons I don't see myself having kids, I can't imagine how crazy I'd go with fear of losing them!
My grandmother had 13; my mom had six and I had seven plus four miscarriages. As a child,I wanted at least six. I suffered financially being a stay at home mom and I practically raised them alone even though I was married. Plus social security does not give me extra for raising children instead of working. God blessed me to raise them especially in His will. I could not have done it without Him. Yes, I’m a 69 year old COGIC female. 😊 Love you EJ & FJ.
My sister is in labor right now and has been since Thursday at 4p.m. She has currently been in labor for 30 hours, so a full 24 hours and some change. It's going on Saturday, and that baby is still ain't here yet😂. The crazy part is that this is her 4th kid, but he is coming at his own pace, and I pray in Jesus' Name that it's healthy and safe.
In Jesus name, she will deliver a strong and healthy baby. May God protect her through her labor and strengthen her to raise her 4 children! I too have four, it’s not easy but by the grace of God my husband and I are raising kingdom children!
@@renewedmind3467 Amen!!!
I'm an only child and I had two children and that was enough for me! Plus children are expensive and my husband and I wanted to be able give our children a great life and we didn't want them to go without anything. So two was perfect for us.
Same here sis, we are 2 and through!!! They are young adults now and only one at home, we are practically empty nesters!!!! I love it!!!😂❤😂❤
I'm 46 and my one and only son is 6. When I was growing up I watched as people my age had kids and families. They didn't look happy. Maybe it was just my area but everything was a struggle from keeping the house clean to getting enough food. I watched and just never wanted in on that. Instead my sister and I got a house and traveled.
Now I can afford my 1 son. He eats good and wants for nothing. His dad is even in the picture so he's double blessed. Can't see adding more and even if I spent my remaining fertile years pregnant it would not be more than I could afford.
The thing is, when my Grandmother was sick even though she had five children it was still me spending the days with her and my mother at night. My uncle did come from out of state for a period once he was able to, but there were two more of her children that couldn't (wouldn't) be with her for more than a few hours. So it still mostly fell to a small group of people.
I agree....my grandmother has 7 children and only one of them is taking care of her
Case by case. My family is definitely the opposite. The old folks get taken care of. ❤
I agree. My Grandparents had 6 and only 2 stepped in when they were sick. All the others came around to collect the check after they died😢
So true…😔
When my mother became sick with cancer, out of the seven kids she had, I was the only one who stayed with her, took her to the hospital and stayed there (thirty days), and didn't leave her until God called her home.
Childcare alone costs more than a mortgage. Add on 18 - 22 years of feeding them, clothing them, dr's appts, school trips, birthdays, Christmases, and all the other stuff, it costs a small fortune.
There was nothing else to do! 😂😂 Agreed 3 is the limit. The cost of living is ridiculous...
There's a mom at our story hour with 8 and I heard one of the grandma's say to her, "8?! I thought you girls knew better than that, these days!" 😂 She's made for it, though. Some people still are having big families. We have one and we're good. I was an older first time mom (36), but I had an easy pregnancy and just didn't want to push my luck. We're also back to traveling now that she can handle it and yeah, 3 plane tickets is quite enough for us. Our daughter has cousins and friends that are only's too, so I'm sure she'll have her own support system when the time comes. My husband and I both come from big families and we're just not cut out for that level of stress mentally or financially.
Just one because after my marriage failed because of physical abuse, I didn’t want my focus to be be anywhere else but with my child 🥰
Hey Ej! My hats off for people who have several children, Taking care of children, household and spouse is a lot of work within itself .and they are expensive 🥰
It's great to see both of you! This is a great segment. I am 60 years old, I never married no have any children. I think that I got my baby fix by being an RN in the Neonatal ICU. I am one of 4 girls and having sisters is a STRUGGLE! My Mom has lived with me for the last 19 years, she's had Dementia for the last 6 years and it HORRIBLE! My youngest sister lives with me as well and we take care of my Mom. My other 2 sisters don't help.
I wanted to have children but I never met the right man. Seeing people go through hell with their children, I am ok with not having children. I love babies but that's about it. 😊
Speaking from a person who knows, I am one of 15 siblings, growing up it was always financially a struggle. on the immediate family as well as the extended family members. personality clashes, not everyone work together for a common good. some share the burdens, others carry the burden of all, others are a burden to all.
and then there is the hurt of the inevitable deaths.
My mom is the third eldest of 15 kids and she has 4 kids herself. She has said it feels like she spend her whole life raising kids. Because when you have that many kids you rely on the older one to help out. Me personally I stopped at 2 because I had 2 girls and didn’t want 3, 4, 5 + heads of hair to do everyday! 😂. Plus, teenagers girls vibes are a lot the live through!!
That’s why people don’t want kids…rely on older kids to raise younger kids is abusive
I have 3 girls and yes it’s a lot of hair! But I LOVE it, because it’s bonding time. ❤❤❤
Having older siblings help out is NOT abuse! It teaches them responsibility and removes selfishness and entitlement.
…Nothing wrong with them fixing their sibling a snack or grabbing a juice box for them or even dropping them off at school when they’re old enough…
Its a nice thought to have a big family but uh...between having to afford them, having time for myself, and this world being freakin horrible I dont want kids 😅
The state of the world will definitely have you rethinking parenthood. I can’t imagine having a child today. The way I would worry and stress would be worse than I am now. My kids are 23 and 20 and I stay in constant prayer.
I'm 47 and have 4 adult kids...looking back now, it was all a blur. The time went by so fast. Now i have a grandbaby from my oldest child, and she doesn't want to have anymore kids, and my other 3 kids DO NOT WANT KIDS!!! Sooooooo... people just don't want to be having babies anymore AND I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND ❤
Yes indeed. I have one daughter. She's 33, married with her own daughter now.
I get to live my life as I want to now and I stay in my lanes. It's beautiful.
I’m not for having a gang of kids but definitely not one because I see what my husband is going through now that his mom is aging, he has no one but himself and it’s really taking it’s toll on him because there’s no one else to relieve him.
I'm sending prayers cause I'm in that situation now. Try to find balance and a time for self. I have noticed that even with large families, it's usually one that is the caregiver.
This is giving me Tab and Chance vibes… I like it! ❤black 💕 love
I’m 35 and don’t have any yet; still not ready!Hell it’s expensive for just me! My grandma came from a family of 17 and the bigger the family, more drama and BS! I see why she only had one kid😂 I would like to have 1 kid;2 max..depending on how the first pregnancy went!!
i’m 40 and my husband and i have 7 kids, ages 14, 12, 11, 10, 7, 5, and 3. i’m a traditional wife and we homeschool our children. i can’t say i “sacrificed” anything bc my children (and my husband) are truly a blessing. we live in a neighborhood of detroit which happened to have several other large christian families (4+ kids) so we have a great community of women who support and encourage each other in motherhood.
Barf.
Sounds like you guys figured it out. When that happens, It Works 😊
Love seeing EJ & FJ together 😊
I’ve been raising other ppl’s kids since I was 11 years old. I knew the struggle then and knew i wasn’t about that life then. And as I got older and “co-parented” more kids, the stronger that feeling got.
I’m 35 and burned out! Even if I wanted kids, I wouldn’t have the emotional/mental/physical energy to deal. Plus I’ve never ever wanted to be pregnant.
I have 4 siblings and my mother has 2 living siblings. She and I are the ones that take care of my grandparents and my mother practically takes care of my niece full time. We both work full time. None of siblings split our responsibilities and burdens….. unless it’s an emergency and we’re screaming for help.
Starting tomorrow, I’ll be taking care of my two 6 -year- old-autistic cousins for 2 weeks while their parents and older siblings go to France. Nobody asked me to watch them, nothing has been planned with me or talked over with me. Yet, here we are! They just assumed that I or my mother would just do it. And since I’m child and husband free, this nonsense falls on me.
It’s just two weeks and I feel like my life is over. My life will be completely altered and stressed to the max. ALOTTA KIDS WHERE?!?? Not over here! 😅
Absolutely not! Don't ever let these people do that to you again. I'm so upset for you and hope you get some peace after putting your foot down.
I feel content with 2, although I get coercive talks about having more every week - I take it as a compliment, they must think I’m a good parent 😂 but my husband is done, mentally and financially he is comfortable with 2, I’m content with two and have no yearning for 3! Can’t imagine it but love seeing good families have more kids and get annoyed when dysfunctional couples have more kids to fix their marital problems 😢 .. please only have kids you can afford - that goes for mentally & financially.. people have so many kids that grow up kicking rocks by themselves- parents don’t even look at them, hearing their parents tearing their heads off, please.. stop it. Bring kids into this world because you want to show them how awesome it is & teach them life lessons in positive ways! Life’s too precious ❤
I am a single woman without any children and I am very happy! Being a parent isn’t anything I truly ever seen in my lifetime. Sex is about pleasure for me not reproduction. 😂
IKTR!!!!!!!!!
I'm single, childfree, and happy about it. Who can afford to have a bunch of kids these days? Lol.
Same 🙌🏾😂 I enjoy my peace and unfortunately kids don’t know what that is, nor do they allow it lol
I love the honesty!!
Lol I feel this
3 things: stress, money & time. Too much mental stress and uncertainty in the turbulent society we are currently navigating. The financial and mental cost of birthing and raising children rises EXPONENTIALLY with the addition of each child. If your are fortunate to have legacy money and/or WILLING extended family&friends to assist, have at it. That ain't it over here so.....
This is a great post. I was never able to have kids and want some desperately. However I just became a foster mom and me and my husband just had our first placement about a month-and-a-half ago and when I tell you that was the most challenging thing that we have ever done. We've had to take a break now and we will start back again here soon. But if I could have kids my limit would definitely be two😊 because it is quite the challenge
I agree with both of you 100%.👏👏
EJ, it was one and done for me. Mental health is definitely key. I realized that having a sibling wasn’t as important as having a happy mom lol. Not to mention if I did go crazy trying to keep track of two kids, there was no guarantee they would even like each other! I felt guilty for awhile, but I got over it!. FJ, good to see you. I always love when you two wanna talk 😁.
I have 6 siblings. My mom is 94, and we have each other to rely on to help her. It is awesome. I have 3 kids, and I wanted 5. But kids are expensive, and I'm happy that I had my kids early. My youngest was 20 when I was 45.
FJ forgetting that in large families, they start letting the older ones take care of the younger ones. Mom and dad go out, and big sister or brother is left in charge.
(I didn't say it was fair. I said that's what happens. Pls don't come at me.)
Because they know now that grandparents are tired of raising your kids while you go and have more 🤣🤣🤣🤣
After having two….. I was through 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I am with Fred on this one ... I love kids ... Im an only child and wanted 6 kids ... But after i had 1 ... I realized that 1 was plenty as a single parent... But whew .... A house full of kids would have wrecked my nerves !
Did she say 18? No pause, no hesitation. 18 kids.. it's not a clown car, it's a va-jay-jay
I'm with Fred! I wanna live! When that last one came out, I said close up shop! Lol but I always knew I wanted just 2 because I was an only child until I was 25 😂
Very interesting topic.❤️👍🏽with the way that this world is today , it’s hard to bring kids into it. Although they are a bundle of joy, we don’t want them to be influenced by the kids that have parents who are not raising them the right way and send them out to do what ever because they don’t want to be bothered with them.
I’m loving all the video’s your pushing out.
I have 4. I had my first at 20 and my last at 30. At one point, work was my me time! Now they are all sdults and sometimes, I wish I had 5 kids. Then I remember what it was truly like and I am glad my husband and I stopped at 4. He wanted more because we only have 1 daughter ( she's the youngest). I got my tubes tied against his wishes, but as my daughter got older, he understood the difference in upkeep for boys vs. girls and appreciated only having to get 2 sets of hair, nails, eyebrows etc. appointments. 😂😂😂
I’ve seen a family of 7 and only 1 is taking care of their sick mother.
I've noticed this through the years that it's only one.
I have zero kids and I'm at capacity 😂 never wanted to have kids because I wanted to 'live life' and I don't see myself happy taking care of someone.
But now...I LOVE MY SISTERS I have 2 and they're my best friends 🎉❤
Ps: I do believe parents have a fantastic life experience and live life...it's just different.
😂
There are 11 of us. I am the oldest. I became the second mother to my sisters and brothers. I have two children. That's enough for me.
I’m 42. I specialize in “no children” itis! If I can’t feed em, I won’t have em!🙋🏾♀️💯✌🏾
I have one brother and I absolutely adore him but I wish I could’ve had a sister as well. My parents had two children. I however had four (and people have the nerve to say I should have more 😮) but I always tell them that even if their siblings get on their nerves now, they’re going to love having them when they grow up.
My great great grandmother had 12kids...
My great grandmother had 14...my grandmother had 11...other great great grandmother had 15... great grandmother had 12... grandmother had 18...I have 8 siblings. My family is extra extra crowded so I only plan to have 3 at most. I want to be able to provide for them reasonably and comfortably. Can you imagine how big our holidays and reunions are????
@@emotioncommercial2789 I know right? One reason my family is so crowded is because most of us live long. My great great grandmother is 102....a Bible toting... Jesus loving... Scripture quoting... pistol packing firecracker!
I have one. Had him @ 17. I do want more, I was told I couldn’t have anymore due to medical issues. Tried and tried and tried. No luck. Bless to have the one I have. I’m no longer trying; I have a bunch of godkids who are my extended kids….Love them all❤
I have 6 & single its not a game. There is no village and family support so its very difficult in todays age.
When you live in a little house on the prairie, you need kids to do work around the homestead. Now, folks work. And school is compulsory.
That was the word..."capacity." I've always wanted at least three kids but after my son...baby, I'm good. I actually related to your husband's perspective because I'm also a person who thinks about death and such. I'm cool with him putting me in a home and living his best life (I say that now 😅) because I know caring for a parent solo can be tough. I hate that he doesn't have siblings but I pray the Lord will bring him who he needs. 🙏
I have 5, including twin boys....the 90s were a different thing if it was now.. no I wouldn't and yes..THEY'RE EXPENSIVE!
Y’all preaching. My paternal grandmother had 11, and my maternal grandmother had 8. I’m one of five. Nope, never more. After my two kids I’m good a boy and a girl wife still rocking that IUD.
Yes I’m an only child and when my mom got sick and passed it was hard. Still is. She was my mom, best friend and sister I never had.
One of my former FB friends has 10 children now in 2023. Who knows, she might have more now.
EJ and Fred y'all provided great reasons as to why people don't have many kids. I would add some may be afraid to bring a child into the world in today's time. I'm on super high alert with my child. Its just so much happening, but we do our best to keep our joy.
Great conversation guys🙂 You guys are so on point and I completely understand FJ's concerns
When you said include Mental Health that was definitely me. I knew after my third one my mental health was changing and I said I didn’t want anymore children. My patience just wasn’t the same anymore.
Big family equals more opinions and more people to try to please
Husband articulated how I feel! And EJ, mental health is mad important.
We wanted to do for them and then when they are grown, we planned to live life with each other 👍🏽
We had two(now adults) just as we discussed before we got married. And that was just right for us.
We gave them travel experiences and they played year round sports that included travel teams ($$$) and went to private schools.($$$$). We did ALL that we could. But now, it’s OUR time. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
I have three and I’m glad I decided to have a third child because at least one of them doesn’t get on my LAST nerve! I digress.
So very well said. I am one of three. I have a brother older, and one younger. My daddy and my Mama, had lots of brothers and sisters. But I only had two…a girl and a boy, thats all we wanted. I’m so glad you said what you did about mental health. So spot on. ♥️
7siblings plus me….8. After daddy passed away in 2019….we all take turn to make sure mother is taken care off…including the older grandchildren.
My paternal grandmother had 10 kids. Her mother had 12. She was born in the mid 1920s. She married when she was 16, and I believe Grandaddy was like 18, 19. She was pregnant from 17 to like 35. My mother asked her one day did she enjoy being pregnant. My grandma said hell no. She said if they had the birth control back then that they had now. She would only have half of them. She almost had 12 kids, she lost two. Every pregnancy was different. Then having to be pregnant and take care of other children and her husband. It was a lot. Her eldest two did a lot of parenting as well for the younger ones. They all lived in a small house in the country. Grandaddy worked at the railroad and was a farmer. All of the children helped with the farming unless they had a job. My daddy didn’t want that by the time he started thinking about how he wanted his own family to be. Plus, my uncles and aunts didn’t have very large families either. As more things in society opened up and people getting drafted to war, etc,No one wanted or could afford to live like this.Nowadays if you have large families, you more than likely have successful businesses and a huge support system. It’s too expensive to do this. Plus, the way healthcare is handled, and student loans,inflation. No one have time, energy or funds to do so. Like a huge family now is a luxury.
I’m with Fred on that, I don’t want anymore kids because our two is enough. Even though their grown we’re still parenting and giving money. We want our peace of mind 😅
Hubby was talking like somebody was forcing them to have more kids NOW! lol
I have 1, he is 18. My son participated in several activities over the years and went to private school 4 years. I really couldn’t have afforded to have 2. When I see people with a lot of kids I just say good, somebody has to be willing to have more than 1.
I'm the youngest of 7. I learned from all of their mistakes 😬
I have two, a daughter and a son and they are grown now but watching them grow up and dealing with all their friends I realized not only that I happy I didn’t have more but I don’t like kids.
I just listen to two moms talk about their kids being bullied at school and the overall school environment that their kids have to go to school in. As a teacher I also see how it’s not a great environment in schools for a lot of kids. That’s why I don’t want kids. I don’t want to have to see them get bullied and hurt.
What about cracking down on bullies and their parents. Surely teachers can come up w some ideas. Together w parents and students that are suffering from the bullying. After all it can lead to very bad things. In Europe they are trying different programmes. Not saying that works but saying no more bullying should yield some results hopefully.
@@priskruger314teachers can't really do anything without help from parents, and unfortunately, the parents of the problem children don't care.
@@queencleopatra007 has been like this for generations. Here's hoping somehow though it will become a thing of the past. Edit typo in hoping
Hey so glad y’all are back together yay glad you all want to talk👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽❗️❗️❗️💯😂👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽😄😄😄❤️
Oh, my goodness! I wish this could have been a live with your subs, cuz, Y’all…. I got so much to say on this topic😂 I had that dilemma for years before I turned 40. I decided that if I was going to have more, I wanted to do it before 40. This topic had my head SPINNIN’.
I have four 25, 22, 17 & 14. I enjoy having my children. They are my heartbeat. I don’t regret having a “lot” of children. If my husband didn’t get a vasectomy I probably would’ve had more…that’s a big probably. But I’m good at four…and I have two of each. It has it ups and downs as it relates to the challenges of raising children. God graced me for my big family and for that I’m grateful. ❤️❤️❤️❤️🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾