In this clip from The Girl Stop Playin Podcast, Alechia Reese shares her truth about becoming a mother. Watch the full episode: • Why Would She Consider...
I KNEW at a very young age that I was not Mommy material. I regret nothing, I've been able to travel, do whatever I want whenever I want. I don't even like children. Other people want to pick up and play with babies and I just want to get as far away as possible. I rescue kitties, they are quiet, shyt in a box instead of their pants.
Not just an unpaid driver, but unpaid for having to be a Jack of all trades, from being a cook to caregiver, and getting nothing out of it, except a ruined life, like the title says.
Im with you I hateeeee motherhood. I love my child but motherhood is the hardest thing in life it never ends . Please if you dont have kids enjoy your freedom and life !!!
I really regret having kids and yes I have 4 college degrees and a good paying job but yet I have no freedom! Everything revolves around them. Everytime I tell people this they think I'm crazy and mean. I'm not changing my opinion
I am a mother of 3 (14, 12 and 10) and it’s tough! I prefer being at work then being at home with them. I am sorry but it’s true. I have peace at work, at home I am a non-paid jack of all trades!
If there's anyone watching this or reading these comments and feeling that "pull" or "desire" for motherhood and they aren't really sure -- simply DONT. The thing is, you're not just signing up for the onslaught of drudgery with sleepless nights, endless feedings, nightmarish worries over a helpless child that you're trying to keep alive; you're also signing up for EVERYTHING that this child brings into their life for the rest of your time on this planet. It does not end when they turn 18 or when they leave the house. For example, if your child goes through any random spontaneous illnesses (mild or chronic) -- it's yours to worry about. Financial blows in their life -- yours to take care of or feel like an asshole. If your kid massively disappoints either themselves or you, you gotta be there to witness and help them through all of that crap: career blows, them dating the wrong person, marrying the wrong person, going through a divorce, etc. It never stops. Also, the minute they become parents themselves, they're going to need YOU to help them, otherwise you're being a selfish grandparent. The cycle of endless chores and obligation will never end. If you want to do something great for humanity, nurture yourself, heal from your own wounds an traumas, and then invest in the people that already exist, share your stories about your own process and help humanity in that way. Teach others how to be better people. Don't create humans just to be able to say that you got to go through that "magical" milestone. The cost is just far too enormous and not worth it at all.
That is some real talk! I am the same way! It’s challenging. My children are 23,14, and 13. I adore my children but it’s a lifetime, full time commitment.
I agree with everything she said. I love my kids but I hate being a mom and a wife. I think Christianity is why I chose this life but now that I’m agnostic and stopped being a pick me and a male worshipper, I want my life to be about me and not sacrificing for everyone else around you who don’t care about you at all, they just care about what you can do for them. Husbands have it easy. They don’t have the pressure to be a perfect parent. Everything falls on mom. And I hate it with a passion. I’m tired of this life…
I don’t know about that because my mother-in-law puts a lot of pressure on her son to be a breadwinner and constantly nags at him that he doesn’t interact with his child enough. Even my own mother tries to pressure my husband on being better. And every time they can’t get through to my husband both my mother and in law go after me thinking that I can do something about it. It’s even more annoying that they discuss this while he’s not even around like as if I’m supposed to train my husband to be better. For goodness sake‘s we’re both individuals I can’t help the fact that we were not trained to be parents from the start. It was already hard enough to learn how to be an adult.
I'm so sorry that u feel this way. I hope u pull thru... I'm not trying to be mean when I say this.... but did u not witness older generation of women around u to get an insight to this life?!?!? I seen my mother live this life and thought to myself I never want this. Then at 22, after working 3 crappy jobs (that I was super excited for when hired), I realized I never want to bring my child into this slavery prison planet . I guess to too self aware.
@@antinatalistwitch111 and that’s OK to not want to have children, as for the people who didn’t plan on having children but still had to become a mom you try the best you can. I mean i’m sure people who had to go through World War II weren’t happy to reproduce children at that time either but somehow life goes on and we’re all still here.
Im a mom of a 2 year old I’m 23 and I must say I am more miserable in my life than I’ve ever been I hat it LADIES IF U DONT HAVE KIDS DONT DO IT LIVE AND LIVE A DAMN GOOD LIFE MAN LIVE FOR ME🥲🥲🥲
Im sorry to hear this. I had my daughter at 16, and I understand how your life changes completely. I'm glad you had at least some years to yourself lol I had none. One good thing about having children younger is that you'll be younger when they are adults. Don't have more tho lol I'd you're not sure.
@@shawnlove4502 it’s okkai it’s gotten better I’m not miserable anymore he’s almost two and wow 😢😢I can’t imagine that at 16 MAD RESPECT TO YOU AND FOR KEEPING YOUR CHILD THATS HARD🥺u didn’t even really begin to live yet I hope ur doing well and ur child is doimg good too 💗💗and yes I am one and done I want more so he can have siblings but idk I don’t think that’s a good idea I’m not really the best at decision making lol
@@shawnlove4502Having kids while young is a bad idea, period. You'll also be a younger grandmother as well. Being childfree is the way to be. I don't want to be a grandmother at 45, no thanks. You're still a parent/grandparent even if your kids are older than 18.
@TxHoneyBee girl lol you're on a comment about a young woman who had a baby. WFT did you want to achieve here? Read the room I'm young, my daughter is almost done with high school, life is beautiful. Your way isn't the only way to live.
@@shawnlove4502I'm being honest. You stated that 'you'll be young when your kids are older', and I stated a fact that you'll also still be a young parent/grandparent when kids are older. That's a fact. I thought the comments are about honesty. It's true that there are more ways to live, but be honest about the outcomes for each way.
My mom parented me to be a "doer", but i was a "thinker" and that's why we never got along. To this day, she doesnt care to engage deeper. She STILL wants me to just do what she says nevermind what i think or believe. Im 30 next month and we still aint close.
Yup same relationship with my mom growing up too. I’m 33 and she passed away 4 years ago and it felt very bittersweet the fact that she left the world without our relationship healing or always thought or wished what could have…
@NightinGal89 exactly. I learned that I was narcissistically abused and sought therapy. I had to detach from her, but I think she is getting better, but im not sure.
People dont understand..being a father/husband is better than being a mother/wife. You can still love your child with you whole heart but want the life of the father/husband.
I had my daughter during my baby fever at the age of 26 four years ago. I don't regret having a kid but I hate motherhood. I love my daughter as a human cuz she's got an awesome personality and I really love her open heart and sheer kindness. She's playful and so smart and super sensitive. She's got such a beautiful heart and she's such a precious princess. It's the mundane everyday mf crap of motherhood that I loathe. Motherhood isn't what people painted it out to be. My mother idolized us but me and my siblings have a toxic relationship with her. She was an engulfing mother and her whole life was about us. I can't stand that. The idea that we are her whole world just adds a different type of level of guilt. I don't want that sort of relationship with my daughter. I actually want my daughter to be independent unlike my mom infantilazing us. I want my daughter to explore the world and learn and not be scared like I was because fear of the world that got instilled in me. I genuinely can't stand the pure dependence of a child during infancy-toddlerhood. After my daughter turned 4 she became a lot more independent and it's a little easier. Figuring out how to keep her busy will definitely be a challenge considering how much more of a people person she is than I am. I love her and always will. I'm more than just a mother.
I agree. I was childfree for 34 years. I met my husband and changed my mind. My baby is 8 months now and I love him so much but this has been the hardest thing I've ever done!!!! Sometimes I wonder if I should have trusted my instincts and never had children. I will do my very best and I know I will be a good mom but it's costing me myself. I miss time with my husband. I know it will get better and when he's a toddler it will be easier for me.
Not to discourage but it gets harder. But there is so much reward. Everything in life that’s worth while is hard because it’s supposed to shape us and show us that life isn’t about us. Please turn to Jesus in your hardships. I’ve 3 kids and no it’s not easy, but there’s so much reward knowing God sees my sacrifice and gives me help. He paid the ultimate sacrifice in order to save us.
@@jennb9730 thank you for your honest comment.. yeah that’s what we have decided, in case if we are feeling lonely later on, we adopt my nephew or niece
I was always told I had a smart mouth and they tried _hard_ to train it out of me… I’m glad they failed. Children who are taught to obey adults w/o question and not have their own opinions are the ones who get got. 😒In childhood _and_ later in adulthood.
Its funny cause i work with kids being age 38, i long thought about having kids yes or no. Although its still possible i think i am gonna say its not for me. Because i work with kids i love them but at the same time i am really happy to go home to a quiet and serene house and sleep well, having no other responsebilities. My mother always used to say "you dont have to be a mother to feel fulfilled in live" Its always worrying its always doing chores etc. So i guess my mother herself loved us but she loved us so much and worried so much that she got a lot of stress. I think if youre a very sensitive type like my mother and me, you get a lot of stress from motherhood. So thats why i think its better if i just live my life with myself or a partner but without the responsebility of a child. Although sometimes i worry about dying childless cause it seems sad, at the same time it isen't cause i lived my life mostly spending time with myself and in freedom.
i love my kids and don’t hate being a mom i’m just stressed and it is so hard when you don’t have support . time flies and being a mom is a beautiful thing but it’s also us that don’t have patience
I learned to be grateful for being childfree thanks to mother who told the truth. I seek solidarity with women regardless of what we choose because the patriarchy still got its foot on our necks regardless. I'm a foot breaker though. I'm a childfree woman and a homeowner at 30 yo. I will never let a male ruin my life. She said a word when she said the pandemic revealed that most mothers can't stand being around the sperm donor for longer than 6am to 8am and 6pm to bedtime. That says a lot about what it's actually like living with a male (read: hell). Thank you for your honesty ladies. More women need to hear this.
Parenthood reminds me of the 1 thing I remember learning in Science class....Parasitic Relationships 😩😩 we've always been taught that they're one sided and bad and stay away...and motherhood is exactly that to me!!!
Ladies I feel you and I'm grateful for the honesty in the comments. Up until 30 I thought I might have children, but seeing what friends went through I decided not to. The overwhelmed mums vent in secret at their childfree friends and complain about everything. Life os over, everything you do is around the kid, no more flexibility, no more spontaneous trips, you're just the mum, society sees nothing more in you and workforce doesn't want you anymore. Still Dads have it easy it falls all on the mums. It often makes marriages miserable and women are single mother's eve being married. You never get the respect you deserve for all the work and life you put into raising a kid and since this generation isn't good at keeoing realtionships, it's unfortunately so common that kids live in single parent households. I really like my child free life, it's annoying enough my boyfriend has kids with his mad ex wife. Every 2 weekends is enough with the kids and still I'm in the backround not being much involved with the kids, but thats another story. I don't know if I regret it, but I can't picture myself with this responsibility. I like it to chose differently as soon as I don't want something anymore and that's not possible with kids.
I’ve come to find it’s not my children that get to me-I mean, when they whine or don’t listen it does-but it’s the unreasonable societal expectations, the lack of support, and the exhaustion of not having a village, of having to do it ALL that makes motherhood unlikeable. It’s the toxic positivity (“enjoy every second!” “I loved every moment of motherhood!” “Don’t complain-so many women would love to be in your shoes!”) It’s American individualism culture that makes motherhood so hard, on top of that being a Black mother comes with a million more expectations (Superhero syndrome). It’s the constant feeling of I’m doing it wrong that’s exhausting. In the quiet moments, the moments when I’m not ratcheted up from stress or exhaustion, when I can take it in and just listen to them be silly, or they thank me for taking care of them, I really do enjoy being a mom. I don’t regret motherhood-I do resent the lack of support for being a mom. I thank God He saw fit to let me be a mom in spite of me not feeling like I am what a mom “should be”. And this is me with a whole involved husband so single parents out there….my hat is off to you!!!
2:35 so true I love that my kids have the confidence to just say how they really feel. They haven’t adapted to people pleasing and they speak up for themselves. I lost that when I was a child.
To the mom at 1:27 counting down the years and months lol. 😂 Hun I was still living at home at 22. It's gone be wayyyyy longer than 18 now a days, especially in this depressing economy. Motherhood is a lifetime commitment. Now of course by 18 it does get easier, you don't have to drive them EVERYWHERE and they have their own jobs to pay for their own stuff, BUT they will still ask you for life advice, ask for $10 to get a fast food meal, ask you to bring them cold medicine when they are sick, ask you where their socks went in the laundry, and ask you to make them chicken noodle soup, etc. So yeah, I think what you need is a vacation, by yourself. Save up and take a vacation somewhere in the next 5 years, that might help.
Motherhood plus being a wife is a sacrifice!!! as society we fail to understand this and that's why motherhood or being a wife seems hard. In this day and age love is conditional we are not selfless we value ourselves more, we prioritize what we want over anything else , if this is your mindset ( you are looking after yourself and making yourself a priority always) you can never be a wife and a mother because you will always come first .Being a wife and a mother you will have to make sacrifices and that is inevitable. so choose a path that best fits you or can tolerate and will be okay with the consequences of your choices.
I wanted kids and now I have them I ask myself most days why did I do this to myself. I do love my kids I do but I hate being a mother. And I blame the man most of time. My husband is lazy, most of everything falls on me. I bet a lot of women on here who say they hate being a mother is probably because they lack some support. Call me stupid I was in love with my husband and wanted a family I thought he would be hands on and we would be a team. But no it’s me doing most of it all. We argue about it but nothing changes. I hate him half the time now and now we are getting a divorce yay !! Being a mother is hardest thing I’ve ever done. My kids are now 4 & 5 and it still isn’t getting any easier. You think when they are a newborn it’s hard the crying and changing and feeding, sleeping but it’s all hard it just changes all time. It’s like a different phase all time. Currently my two sons fight and cry and moan all time. Drives me around bend. I get overwhelmed and overstimulated by them because they are so loud and never shut up or keep Asking the same questions over and over and over. They Remind me of that donkey in Sherk movie annoying and don’t shut they hell up lol 😂 I do love them I do and some days we have special moments and am like how could I feel the way I was earlier but it never lasts long enough I soon get fed up again. I’ve just never felt so miserable in all my life. Some days i struggle to get out of bed to be a slave again. It’s exhausting and lack of support is main cause I believe. Which is why if anyone is reading this and your husband is not supporting you and you’ve spoken about this and he’s not changing leave him!!! Better off doing 50/50 if you split up. I will finally get a break away from my kids for bit while he has them. Fabulous really now he can see what it’s like doing it alone and I won’t have to put up with a useless man around my own place again I can’t wait.
My husband and I are married and he for sure wants children, but ever since we got married I've been heavily thinking about if and when. We've been married for 2.5 years. He's 31 and I'm 30. Do you mind sharing how old you both are and what lead you to making the decision to having children? Also I'm so sorry that this has lead to a divorce. God Bless you and your family!
Six years into my marriage, my husband decided that he wanted kids. I laughed and told him to go find somebody else to do it. 5 months later, we were divorced.
This was such a refreshing conversation. Alechia is brave to say this out loud. I don't regret motherhood but I don't always enjoy it. I'm much more open about this now and know that I can still love my kids and not always have to love being with them. There are other things that fulfil my life other than being a mother. Also, Alechia explained that lower self so perfectly. I'm not a fan of mine and she was dominant for a long time. She's still there when I'm triggered too 🙈🙈 But yuhhh, she PROTECTED me!
😂 Parenthood is Volunteering. You chose to volunteer 24-7, No Benefits, No vacations or Vacation pay, no sick pay. No parents should not get paid to volunteer. You had sex and got pregnant 😮. Oh well. Mean time us Childfree folks are 😅enjoying life 🍹. Thanks for being honest. 2.18.23
But it shouldn't be. This is about supporting people so they can raise a mentally and generally strong new generation. Motherhood is too taxing to do alone. It takes a village and it should if you want well adjusted polite teens. Money in the form of more free daycare or guidance appointments would be so valuable.
@Johanna Finley I hate that saying "it takes a village." It doesn't take a village to create the child, so it shouldn't take a village to raise it. FOH!!!
@@johannafinley6253 Then people should be researching how much time, money, resources, mental, emotional, and physical strain it does before doing the deed. I did and I'm so glad that I'm sticking to my guns because the friends that I know gladly tell me not to have children. Misery loves company. Not my responsibility to help if the rest of the village didn't consent to it.
@@Childfree334 the mindsets of people in this world . Smh praying for y’all -sincerely signing a women that has no children but still know it takes a damn village
@@johannafinley6253 Lol people kill me with that line "it takes a village" but where was the village when the woman voluntarily spread her legs? Other people's children are not my responsibility.
Not really. Seeing how rampant misogyny still is all over the world (not to mention other gruesome things in regards to girls & women), I completely understand the notion. I'd much rather have a boy.
It feels like you have more control trying to raise a boy not to be a sexist and rapist than having to raise a girl teaching her she may be targeted no matter what she does. That said I don't went kids at all so what do I know? 😅
Once she said "one of my men" " I date and date well" I could see why she hates motherhood. She should love it before her daughter wants to copy her. Teenage pregnancy is on the rise. Kind of wack of her to say she hates the energy she needs to put into her kid but not for her "men". Wow.
@@antinatalistwitch111Right. I hope mothers don't expect the government (i.e. taxes) or single and/or childfree people to pay for the choices of people who CHOSE to have kids.!
I think it’s important to listen to what you want. I think so many women get pressured into motherhood because it’s what’s expected by a certain age. I don’t blame any woman for feeling the way they do after becoming a mom. I chose not to be a parent. ALL of the friends I grew up with are moms. I LOVE children I work with them. I also love my freedom and am so exhausted half the time it’s hard to take care of myself. I give props to every parent out there giving their all raising children it’s no joke. ❤
I agree… expecting to be paid for being a mom lol like who told you to get pregnant… it’s like they don’t look around their surroundings, they see other women struggling and they go ahead and join in on it… I empathize with them but like you said very immature. And not learning from the previous generation
People are just not honest enough about what it takes to not just be a mom but be a good mom and give into and lead another human. I was always told just don’t get pregnant under age… they didn’t say even if you are older you can STILL be mentally too immature to bring life into this world… Don’t get me started on finances and the fact that you are adding another human to the most broken economy and government system ever. Having children without financially stability is ridiculous. It’s a BIG JOB. The biggest responsibility a human can have . Oh and it requires you to NOT be selfish…. 🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️😩 nobody told me any of this
I knew when I WAS a kid that I never wanted to have any kids and I never did and I am so grateful that I never got pregnant because of so many reasons but the main thing being that it is an unequal division of labor, women always get stuck with the majority of the child care duties!
Imagine the poor daughter watching this, how confusing to have a mother who says she’s a dope daughter but her mother hates being a mom. If you sleep with someone chances are you’ll have a kid so don’t mess around what you can’t handle. I’m a proud father and a full time caregiver for my boys and I love it
Wow. I don’t regret marriage or motherhood, but I also went in knowing what I expected and what was expected of me. I can understand feeling this way if you didn’t recognize that parenthood is a lifelong commitment with varying stages, ebbs and flows, highs and lows. Or if you and your parenting partner aren’t on the same page.
If your child mentally spies with grown people if your child's mouth is that slick she is going to get her feelings truly hurt because an adult will check her
See, not correcting that slick mouth will get you in trouble as a mother. She’s not your girlfriend and you have to establish boundaries ESPECIALLY with teens. Chile
Speak on it!!! It’s lifelong servitude physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. The fact women are scammed to think they need to assume the role, dismiss their individualism, no help , and be expected to do it with a smile. And the add marriage/partner to the mix to SERVE as well. Like huh!?!?! If I can’t be the dad, I don’t want it lol. I’m one and done, hoping to get my tubes tied soon.
You are fundamentally wrong if you come from the mind set that "mom" means parent and "dad" means "stress free dude". You've been taught wrong entirely.
What worries me is that you could literally destroy your life and give everything to your child or children and they turn out as a drug addict. Now yes I have sympathy for mentally ill but after growing up in a house with heroin addicts I HATE them and consider anyone in that state to be dead. The person you knew is dead and theres no coming back from it. So the worry that I could destroy my life for a child that could die or become a drug addict or whatever else puts me off. So I will remain child free.
I will never forget the day my mom took me to dq and sat me down in front of some icecream and straight up told me I was an adult now and she was free of me. She didn't kick me out but her tone was dismissive. When I asked her how do I even find an apartment, pay taxes, etc, she was just like "I don't know, you figure it out." Me: "Aren't you suppose to teach me this? Help me?" My mom: "No, welcome to adulthood." I got a lump in my throat and almost cried, I don't even think I finished the ice cream. We went home and talked it out again and then I got into university, but still, I will never forget that day. It's like my mom became a stranger and she was treating me like she didn't love me anymore.
I love being a parent but i would enjoy it more if my husband make a greather input most men are so lazy when comming to child rearing thak god i could turn to him i onstantly has to ask him for strength patience an wisdom an control i see so much of me in my boys when i was their age an this helps me to be more understanding indaealing with them on a day to day bases
Oh wow sounds so hard omg so funny!!! Totally doesnt make my BLOOD BOIL. Look, you can chose to be a mother or not, but please don't complain about a blessing. -someone who can't have kids and cries often over the loss of something they never had.
People need to know and understand that there is another whole different life. It is found in the KINGDOM OF GOD, KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. Understand how you came here on earth and for what and why. There is another realm and there is a WAY to get there. Your lives will never be the same again.
Children should talk as a child should, saying your child has a "slick mouth" as a tween is wrong. Some single mothers talk to tweens as they are friends ..this lady is an example. If her mouth is slick now, she'll be wild at 14-15. I hope this lady gets help cause her mentality is very immature.
Not necessarily. They might be wild at 14/15 because those arw the learning years. From just blurting out opinions, to a communicative steongly voiced adult, takes experimentation. The "wild" period is vital for the to learn how to navigate boundaries.
I’m assuming that this woman isn’t married, because in my experience women who are married speak differently about their children. If that’s the case I wish her well, because being a single parent is a tough job.
Lmfaoooo no married women hate their husbands bc they have more free time than them. These married women will lie to themselves and other people to sell themselves a dream. The struggle is the same.
Read your bibles. Go back to Jesus! He paid the ultimate sacrifice for us. Life is supposed to be sacrifice. It’s not easy, don’t blame others for that though, turn to God for help.
Sacrificing for our SALVATION is different to giving up freedom, happiness, money, time and peace for the sake of having children that you don't want. The REALITY is not everyone wants children or even likes children.
My friend, there’s something deeply wrong if you think it’s okay to say you love Christ and he’s saved you but you don’t like children. They’re not compatible and that’s something between you and Jesus. But there’s no justification for it. Titus 2 shows us we’re to love our children and our husbands. Please stop spreading lies to vulnerable women who need help from Jesus instead of justification for sin.
How can one say sometimes like that? This childfree trend is beyond disgusting. Tragic when someone can’t have babies due to medical reasons but not wanting is unnatural! Everyone wants to survive longer than lifespan via genetic
I can understand your frustration, and as a stay home mom of 3 beautiful babies , who is planning to have more kids , I applaud women and men who decide not to Have kids. I think having kids is a full responsibility and should only be done by individuals that can fufill that role , so I respect an individual that says I rather not , than to bring a beautiful baby into the world and the baby live a miserable life or worse.
Some people don’t want children, and that’s okay. There are hundreds of thousands of children in America alone who have no parents, no one to advocate for them, nowhere to go for holidays, and child free people disgust you?
@@nessparadis6948 I agrée i am a mother as I said and love and can emotionally and financially take care of them so I have them but if you don’t want them , I support your choice infact I applaud you
Adopt some kids, so you can feel our struggles. People who can't have kids live in a fantasy what they think they are missing. Once you pass that cute infant stage, it's downhill you go rock-bottom.
@@Vision2life1 women who have lost one child or even several children do not live in a fantasy and they really know what they miss.. once you have passed that cute infant stage, you will appreciate your children…itˋs downhill you go rock-bottom…
Why do parents think parenting stops at 18? Are they REALLY that delusional? 😂😂
I’m 27 this yr still living at home lol it never ends
Me and my kids pop up on my parents door steps every week lol
I was about to comment this
it ends at that age by law.
You're still a parent but don't have the responsibility anymore.
You are free to be friends now.
@@puclopuclik4108 can never be friends with your kids, you’re primary role is to be a parent, just saying it’s fallacy to say you’re done by 18
I KNEW at a very young age that I was not Mommy material. I regret nothing, I've been able to travel, do whatever I want whenever I want. I don't even like children. Other people want to pick up and play with babies and I just want to get as far away as possible.
I rescue kitties, they are quiet, shyt in a box instead of their pants.
😆🤣
You have very lucky fur babies! ❤
Not just an unpaid driver, but unpaid for having to be a Jack of all trades, from being a cook to caregiver, and getting nothing out of it, except a ruined life, like the title says.
Truth 😩
Facts
If your spouse is working, he's covering your financial responsibility. The way women see life these days....
@@bplayerr1 Oh grow up, one income is just not enough anymore, with the rising cost of living these days 😡
Im with you I hateeeee motherhood. I love my child but motherhood is the hardest thing in life it never ends . Please if you dont have kids enjoy your freedom and life !!!
Tried to, but my husband had other ideas 😡
@@idotgotitme3280 sorry, but unless you got raped there is contraception and there is divorce.
This. It is hard. I love my kids to death but thank God they grow the hell up.
I really regret having kids and yes I have 4 college degrees and a good paying job but yet I have no freedom! Everything revolves around them. Everytime I tell people this they think I'm crazy and mean. I'm not changing my opinion
@@durgalakshmi2793 it took you 4 kids to understand that your freedom would need with them? Seriously? Couldn’t you have stopped at leat at 2?
I am a mother of 3 (14, 12 and 10) and it’s tough! I prefer being at work then being at home with them. I am sorry but it’s true. I have peace at work, at home I am a non-paid jack of all trades!
I feel you ❤ I’m sorry hey
I feel this
We are in the age of 32 and 27(wife) we are really happy to be childfree forever. What is your advice according to your point of view?☺️
Thank you for your honesty ❤
@@Pankaj-4572PR Lucky you 😊
If there's anyone watching this or reading these comments and feeling that "pull" or "desire" for motherhood and they aren't really sure -- simply DONT. The thing is, you're not just signing up for the onslaught of drudgery with sleepless nights, endless feedings, nightmarish worries over a helpless child that you're trying to keep alive; you're also signing up for EVERYTHING that this child brings into their life for the rest of your time on this planet. It does not end when they turn 18 or when they leave the house.
For example, if your child goes through any random spontaneous illnesses (mild or chronic) -- it's yours to worry about. Financial blows in their life -- yours to take care of or feel like an asshole. If your kid massively disappoints either themselves or you, you gotta be there to witness and help them through all of that crap: career blows, them dating the wrong person, marrying the wrong person, going through a divorce, etc. It never stops. Also, the minute they become parents themselves, they're going to need YOU to help them, otherwise you're being a selfish grandparent. The cycle of endless chores and obligation will never end.
If you want to do something great for humanity, nurture yourself, heal from your own wounds an traumas, and then invest in the people that already exist, share your stories about your own process and help humanity in that way. Teach others how to be better people. Don't create humans just to be able to say that you got to go through that "magical" milestone. The cost is just far too enormous and not worth it at all.
Beautiful words
Very true
Brilliantly said
Thank you!
Factsss to everything
That is some real talk! I am the same way! It’s challenging. My children are 23,14, and 13. I adore my children but it’s a lifetime, full time commitment.
Absolutely! Thank you for sharing
Wow, big gap between the first two eh?
@@idotgotitme3280 yes!
But do you regret them?
@@hellobot67 does your mother regret you too?
I agree with everything she said. I love my kids but I hate being a mom and a wife. I think Christianity is why I chose this life but now that I’m agnostic and stopped being a pick me and a male worshipper, I want my life to be about me and not sacrificing for everyone else around you who don’t care about you at all, they just care about what you can do for them. Husbands have it easy. They don’t have the pressure to be a perfect parent. Everything falls on mom. And I hate it with a passion. I’m tired of this life…
I don’t know about that because my mother-in-law puts a lot of pressure on her son to be a breadwinner and constantly nags at him that he doesn’t interact with his child enough.
Even my own mother tries to pressure my husband on being better. And every time they can’t get through to my husband both my mother and in law go after me thinking that I can do something about it. It’s even more annoying that they discuss this while he’s not even around like as if I’m supposed to train my husband to be better. For goodness sake‘s we’re both individuals I can’t help the fact that we were not trained to be parents from the start. It was already hard enough to learn how to be an adult.
I'm so sorry that u feel this way. I hope u pull thru... I'm not trying to be mean when I say this.... but did u not witness older generation of women around u to get an insight to this life?!?!? I seen my mother live this life and thought to myself I never want this. Then at 22, after working 3 crappy jobs (that I was super excited for when hired), I realized I never want to bring my child into this slavery prison planet . I guess to too self aware.
@@antinatalistwitch111 and that’s OK to not want to have children, as for the people who didn’t plan on having children but still had to become a mom you try the best you can. I mean i’m sure people who had to go through World War II weren’t happy to reproduce children at that time either but somehow life goes on and we’re all still here.
Three cheers for choosing your happiness
The bible says it’s better to stay single though.
There is a space to dislike motherhood and still love your child. Both can be true.
Thankful for the transparency in this conversation.
Exactly. People acting like 2 things can’t be true at the same time. 🤦🏽♀️
Im a mom of a 2 year old I’m 23 and I must say I am more miserable in my life than I’ve ever been I hat it LADIES IF U DONT HAVE KIDS DONT DO IT LIVE AND LIVE A DAMN GOOD LIFE MAN LIVE FOR ME🥲🥲🥲
Im sorry to hear this. I had my daughter at 16, and I understand how your life changes completely. I'm glad you had at least some years to yourself lol I had none.
One good thing about having children younger is that you'll be younger when they are adults. Don't have more tho lol I'd you're not sure.
@@shawnlove4502 it’s okkai it’s gotten better I’m not miserable anymore he’s almost two and wow 😢😢I can’t imagine that at 16 MAD RESPECT TO YOU AND FOR KEEPING YOUR CHILD THATS HARD🥺u didn’t even really begin to live yet I hope ur doing well and ur child is doimg good too 💗💗and yes I am one and done I want more so he can have siblings but idk I don’t think that’s a good idea I’m not really the best at decision making lol
@@shawnlove4502Having kids while young is a bad idea, period. You'll also be a younger grandmother as well. Being childfree is the way to be. I don't want to be a grandmother at 45, no thanks. You're still a parent/grandparent even if your kids are older than 18.
@TxHoneyBee girl lol you're on a comment about a young woman who had a baby. WFT did you want to achieve here? Read the room
I'm young, my daughter is almost done with high school, life is beautiful. Your way isn't the only way to live.
@@shawnlove4502I'm being honest. You stated that 'you'll be young when your kids are older', and I stated a fact that you'll also still be a young parent/grandparent when kids are older. That's a fact. I thought the comments are about honesty. It's true that there are more ways to live, but be honest about the outcomes for each way.
My mom parented me to be a "doer", but i was a "thinker" and that's why we never got along. To this day, she doesnt care to engage deeper. She STILL wants me to just do what she says nevermind what i think or believe. Im 30 next month and we still aint close.
Felt
Yup same relationship with my mom growing up too. I’m 33 and she passed away 4 years ago and it felt very bittersweet the fact that she left the world without our relationship healing or always thought or wished what could have…
@@jaky411 dang. I'm sorry.
That's narcissistic
@NightinGal89 exactly. I learned that I was narcissistically abused and sought therapy. I had to detach from her, but I think she is getting better, but im not sure.
People dont understand..being a father/husband is better than being a mother/wife. You can still love your child with you whole heart but want the life of the father/husband.
I had my daughter during my baby fever at the age of 26 four years ago. I don't regret having a kid but I hate motherhood. I love my daughter as a human cuz she's got an awesome personality and I really love her open heart and sheer kindness. She's playful and so smart and super sensitive. She's got such a beautiful heart and she's such a precious princess. It's the mundane everyday mf crap of motherhood that I loathe.
Motherhood isn't what people painted it out to be. My mother idolized us but me and my siblings have a toxic relationship with her. She was an engulfing mother and her whole life was about us. I can't stand that. The idea that we are her whole world just adds a different type of level of guilt. I don't want that sort of relationship with my daughter.
I actually want my daughter to be independent unlike my mom infantilazing us. I want my daughter to explore the world and learn and not be scared like I was because fear of the world that got instilled in me.
I genuinely can't stand the pure dependence of a child during infancy-toddlerhood. After my daughter turned 4 she became a lot more independent and it's a little easier.
Figuring out how to keep her busy will definitely be a challenge considering how much more of a people person she is than I am. I love her and always will. I'm more than just a mother.
Really at 4? My daughter is 3 and potty trained but it's still alot.
How did you get her to be so independent at 4? I know some parents are fortunate to get their kids independent at 7, not all though.
I agree. I was childfree for 34 years. I met my husband and changed my mind. My baby is 8 months now and I love him so much but this has been the hardest thing I've ever done!!!! Sometimes I wonder if I should have trusted my instincts and never had children. I will do my very best and I know I will be a good mom but it's costing me myself. I miss time with my husband. I know it will get better and when he's a toddler it will be easier for me.
We are in the age of 32 and 27(wife) we are really happy to be childfree forever. What is your advice according to your point of view?☺️
Not to discourage but it gets harder. But there is so much reward. Everything in life that’s worth while is hard because it’s supposed to shape us and show us that life isn’t about us. Please turn to Jesus in your hardships. I’ve 3 kids and no it’s not easy, but there’s so much reward knowing God sees my sacrifice and gives me help. He paid the ultimate sacrifice in order to save us.
@@Scary_Sary so what is your personal advice for me?
@@Pankaj-4572PR my advice? Don't have kids 😅 enjoy your peace and quiet
@@jennb9730 thank you for your honest comment.. yeah that’s what we have decided, in case if we are feeling lonely later on, we adopt my nephew or niece
I was always told I had a smart mouth and they tried _hard_ to train it out of me…
I’m glad they failed. Children who are taught to obey adults w/o question and not have their own opinions are the ones who get got. 😒In childhood _and_ later in adulthood.
I was a kid who obeyed. But God blessed me with foresight! Lol so I can think for myself. And observed the people around me. The mom’s especially.
Thisssss
Its funny cause i work with kids being age 38, i long thought about having kids yes or no. Although its still possible i think i am gonna say its not for me. Because i work with kids i love them but at the same time i am really happy to go home to a quiet and serene house and sleep well, having no other responsebilities. My mother always used to say "you dont have to be a mother to feel fulfilled in live" Its always worrying its always doing chores etc. So i guess my mother herself loved us but she loved us so much and worried so much that she got a lot of stress. I think if youre a very sensitive type like my mother and me, you get a lot of stress from motherhood. So thats why i think its better if i just live my life with myself or a partner but without the responsebility of a child. Although sometimes i worry about dying childless cause it seems sad, at the same time it isen't cause i lived my life mostly spending time with myself and in freedom.
Unpaid servant.
Pretty much 🤦🏽♀️💯
Exactly 😠
Hopefully-hopefully they will return the investment to us when they are older.
i love my kids and don’t hate being a mom i’m just stressed and it is so hard when you don’t have support . time flies and being a mom is a beautiful thing but it’s also us that don’t have patience
For someone that hates motherhood she seems do be doing an amazing job
Just bc we don’t enjoy motherhood doesn’t mean we aren’t going to do the job well. 😅 The child is still our responsibility to raise.
I learned to be grateful for being childfree thanks to mother who told the truth. I seek solidarity with women regardless of what we choose because the patriarchy still got its foot on our necks regardless. I'm a foot breaker though. I'm a childfree woman and a homeowner at 30 yo. I will never let a male ruin my life. She said a word when she said the pandemic revealed that most mothers can't stand being around the sperm donor for longer than 6am to 8am and 6pm to bedtime. That says a lot about what it's actually like living with a male (read: hell). Thank you for your honesty ladies. More women need to hear this.
Parenthood reminds me of the 1 thing I remember learning in Science class....Parasitic Relationships 😩😩 we've always been taught that they're one sided and bad and stay away...and motherhood is exactly that to me!!!
Parents can be parasites too, trust me.
Parenting doesn’t end at 18 .
Ladies I feel you and I'm grateful for the honesty in the comments. Up until 30 I thought I might have children, but seeing what friends went through I decided not to. The overwhelmed mums vent in secret at their childfree friends and complain about everything. Life os over, everything you do is around the kid, no more flexibility, no more spontaneous trips, you're just the mum, society sees nothing more in you and workforce doesn't want you anymore. Still Dads have it easy it falls all on the mums. It often makes marriages miserable and women are single mother's eve being married. You never get the respect you deserve for all the work and life you put into raising a kid and since this generation isn't good at keeoing realtionships, it's unfortunately so common that kids live in single parent households. I really like my child free life, it's annoying enough my boyfriend has kids with his mad ex wife. Every 2 weekends is enough with the kids and still I'm in the backround not being much involved with the kids, but thats another story. I don't know if I regret it, but I can't picture myself with this responsibility. I like it to chose differently as soon as I don't want something anymore and that's not possible with kids.
I’ve come to find it’s not my children that get to me-I mean, when they whine or don’t listen it does-but it’s the unreasonable societal expectations, the lack of support, and the exhaustion of not having a village, of having to do it ALL that makes motherhood unlikeable. It’s the toxic positivity (“enjoy every second!” “I loved every moment of motherhood!” “Don’t complain-so many women would love to be in your shoes!”) It’s American individualism culture that makes motherhood so hard, on top of that being a Black mother comes with a million more expectations (Superhero syndrome). It’s the constant feeling of I’m doing it wrong that’s exhausting. In the quiet moments, the moments when I’m not ratcheted up from stress or exhaustion, when I can take it in and just listen to them be silly, or they thank me for taking care of them, I really do enjoy being a mom. I don’t regret motherhood-I do resent the lack of support for being a mom. I thank God He saw fit to let me be a mom in spite of me not feeling like I am what a mom “should be”. And this is me with a whole involved husband so single parents out there….my hat is off to you!!!
2:35 so true I love that my kids have the confidence to just say how they really feel. They haven’t adapted to people pleasing and they speak up for themselves. I lost that when I was a child.
To the mom at 1:27 counting down the years and months lol. 😂
Hun I was still living at home at 22.
It's gone be wayyyyy longer than 18 now a days, especially in this depressing economy.
Motherhood is a lifetime commitment.
Now of course by 18 it does get easier, you don't have to drive them EVERYWHERE and they have their own jobs to pay for their own stuff, BUT they will still ask you for life advice, ask for $10 to get a fast food meal, ask you to bring them cold medicine when they are sick, ask you where their socks went in the laundry, and ask you to make them chicken noodle soup, etc.
So yeah, I think what you need is a vacation, by yourself.
Save up and take a vacation somewhere in the next 5 years, that might help.
Motherhood plus being a wife is a sacrifice!!! as society we fail to understand this and that's why motherhood or being a wife seems hard. In this day and age love is conditional we are not selfless we value ourselves more, we prioritize what we want over anything else , if this is your mindset ( you are looking after yourself and making yourself a priority always) you can never be a wife and a mother because you will always come first .Being a wife and a mother you will have to make sacrifices and that is inevitable. so choose a path that best fits you or can tolerate and will be okay with the consequences of your choices.
Pregnancy is preventable...
ikr, preach
But sometimes there's accidents no matter how hard you try not to get pregnant, getting sterilized is the most fullproof.
Sometimes accidents happen, but in that case you can get an abortion.
@@celestejacobs7386 Do you live under a rock? You know something happened in the US lately?
Also men: I don't like condoms, because you feel less.
I wanted kids and now I have them
I ask myself most days why did I do this to myself. I do love my kids I do but I hate being a mother. And I blame the man most of time. My husband is lazy, most of everything falls on me. I bet a lot of women on here who say they hate being a mother is probably because they lack some support. Call me stupid I was in love with my husband and wanted a family I thought he would be hands on and we would be a team. But no it’s me doing most of it all. We argue about it but nothing changes. I hate him half the time now and now we are getting a divorce yay !!
Being a mother is hardest thing I’ve ever done. My kids are now 4 & 5 and it still isn’t getting any easier. You think when they are a newborn it’s hard the crying and changing and feeding, sleeping but it’s all hard it just changes all time. It’s like a different phase all time. Currently my two sons fight and cry and moan all time. Drives me around bend. I get overwhelmed and overstimulated by them because they are so loud and never shut up or keep
Asking the same questions over and over and over. They Remind me of that donkey in Sherk movie annoying and don’t shut they hell up lol 😂
I do love them I do and some days we have special moments and am like how could
I feel the way I was earlier but it never lasts long enough I soon get fed up again. I’ve just never felt so miserable in all my life. Some days i struggle to get out of bed to be a slave again. It’s exhausting and lack of support is main cause I believe. Which is why if anyone is reading this and your husband is not supporting you and you’ve spoken about this and he’s not changing leave him!!!
Better off doing 50/50 if you split up. I will finally get a break away from my kids for bit while he has them. Fabulous really now he can see what it’s like doing it alone and I won’t have to put up with a useless man around my own place again I can’t wait.
My husband and I are married and he for sure wants children, but ever since we got married I've been heavily thinking about if and when. We've been married for 2.5 years. He's 31 and I'm 30. Do you mind sharing how old you both are and what lead you to making the decision to having children?
Also I'm so sorry that this has lead to a divorce. God Bless you and your family!
Six years into my marriage, my husband decided that he wanted kids. I laughed and told him to go find somebody else to do it. 5 months later, we were divorced.
@@Childfree334You're a legend.
@DelicateRedRose 😉. Not a legend sweetheart, just a woman who has boundaries of steel and takes no sh*t from anyone, not even a husband.
@@Childfree334😂
Thank you for speaking your truth.
This was such a refreshing conversation. Alechia is brave to say this out loud. I don't regret motherhood but I don't always enjoy it. I'm much more open about this now and know that I can still love my kids and not always have to love being with them. There are other things that fulfil my life other than being a mother.
Also, Alechia explained that lower self so perfectly. I'm not a fan of mine and she was dominant for a long time. She's still there when I'm triggered too 🙈🙈 But yuhhh, she PROTECTED me!
😂 Parenthood is Volunteering. You chose to volunteer 24-7, No Benefits, No vacations or Vacation pay, no sick pay. No parents should not get paid to volunteer. You had sex and got pregnant 😮. Oh well. Mean time us Childfree folks are 😅enjoying life 🍹. Thanks for being honest. 2.18.23
But it shouldn't be. This is about supporting people so they can raise a mentally and generally strong new generation. Motherhood is too taxing to do alone. It takes a village and it should if you want well adjusted polite teens. Money in the form of more free daycare or guidance appointments would be so valuable.
@Johanna Finley I hate that saying "it takes a village." It doesn't take a village to create the child, so it shouldn't take a village to raise it. FOH!!!
@@johannafinley6253 Then people should be researching how much time, money, resources, mental, emotional, and physical strain it does before doing the deed. I did and I'm so glad that I'm sticking to my guns because the friends that I know gladly tell me not to have children. Misery loves company. Not my responsibility to help if the rest of the village didn't consent to it.
@@Childfree334 the mindsets of people in this world . Smh praying for y’all -sincerely signing a women that has no children but still know it takes a damn village
@@johannafinley6253 Lol people kill me with that line "it takes a village" but where was the village when the woman voluntarily spread her legs? Other people's children are not my responsibility.
I think it's so weird when grown women say they don't want to raise a little girl.... that's such a weird thing to say!
Not really. Seeing how rampant misogyny still is all over the world (not to mention other gruesome things in regards to girls & women), I completely understand the notion. I'd much rather have a boy.
It feels like you have more control trying to raise a boy not to be a sexist and rapist than having to raise a girl teaching her she may be targeted no matter what she does. That said I don't went kids at all so what do I know? 😅
Right wtf
Once she said "one of my men" " I date and date well" I could see why she hates motherhood. She should love it before her daughter wants to copy her. Teenage pregnancy is on the rise. Kind of wack of her to say she hates the energy she needs to put into her kid but not for her "men". Wow.
Express yourself confidently kids, but expect some pushback. Really like this!
We should be getting paid for the work we do!
Absolutely!
Damn straight 👍
Isn't it wild how NANNIES are paid more than MOTHERS??? If you like kids, it's better to be a paid nanny than a mother. Nannies get PTO and benefits.
Who should be paying u? Your hubby/baby father.
@@antinatalistwitch111Right. I hope mothers don't expect the government (i.e. taxes) or single and/or childfree people to pay for the choices of people who CHOSE to have kids.!
I think it’s important to listen to what you want. I think so many women get pressured into motherhood because it’s what’s expected by a certain age. I don’t blame any woman for feeling the way they do after becoming a mom. I chose not to be a parent. ALL of the friends I grew up with are moms. I LOVE children I work with them. I also love my freedom and am so exhausted half the time it’s hard to take care of myself. I give props to every parent out there giving their all raising children it’s no joke. ❤
I absolutely hate I had kids age 2 and 12. I love them but it's just too much . I would never do it again
I want to hear from moms like you. Because I feel so alone.
Smh soooo she didn’t know children were a huge commitment before having one ? Some women are immature AF when it comes to motherhood, grow up.
bingo
Maybe it was an accident, maybe she wasn't looking to get pregnant when she did, it happens, believe me I know.
A lot of people are young and don’t know better. Not excusing it but people think “oh I’ll be different” and quickly realize they won’t be different
I agree… expecting to be paid for being a mom lol like who told you to get pregnant… it’s like they don’t look around their surroundings, they see other women struggling and they go ahead and join in on it… I empathize with them but like you said very immature. And not learning from the previous generation
It’s really NOT that hard to avoid getting pregnant, so maybe i’m not understanding something lmao.
People are just not honest enough about what it takes to not just be a mom but be a good mom and give into and lead another human. I was always told just don’t get pregnant under age… they didn’t say even if you are older you can STILL be mentally too immature to bring life into this world… Don’t get me started on finances and the fact that you are adding another human to the most broken economy and government system ever. Having children without financially stability is ridiculous. It’s a BIG JOB. The biggest responsibility a human can have . Oh and it requires you to NOT be selfish…. 🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️😩 nobody told me any of this
I knew when I WAS a kid that I never wanted to have any kids and I never did and I am so grateful that I never got pregnant because of so many reasons but the main thing being that it is an unequal division of labor, women always get stuck with the majority of the child care duties!
At which baby did she realize she didn’t like motherhood 🧐?
Being a mother can really f up your mental health.
"The opposite of fun"😂😂
Imagine the poor daughter watching this, how confusing to have a mother who says she’s a dope daughter but her mother hates being a mom. If you sleep with someone chances are you’ll have a kid so don’t mess around what you can’t handle. I’m a proud father and a full time caregiver for my boys and I love it
Stfu. She has a right to her own feelings just like you😂
@@Bluemoonsouth but as an adult you have to have better feelings about things, it’s called growing up
@@Bluemoonsouth an example is using stfu like a low life when commenting
Wow. I don’t regret marriage or motherhood, but I also went in knowing what I expected and what was expected of me. I can understand feeling this way if you didn’t recognize that parenthood is a lifelong commitment with varying stages, ebbs and flows, highs and lows. Or if you and your parenting partner aren’t on the same page.
Iam 44 I have one child she is 17 I love her dearly but I hate being a mom a single mom at that
If your child mentally spies with grown people if your child's mouth is that slick she is going to get her feelings truly hurt because an adult will check her
Such a strong, beautiful woman. I respect her so much 💪🏽💪🏽💪🏽
See, not correcting that slick mouth will get you in trouble as a mother. She’s not your girlfriend and you have to establish boundaries ESPECIALLY with teens. Chile
Wtf
Speak on it!!! It’s lifelong servitude physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. The fact women are scammed to think they need to assume the role, dismiss their individualism, no help , and be expected to do it with a smile. And the add marriage/partner to the mix to SERVE as well. Like huh!?!?! If I can’t be the dad, I don’t want it lol. I’m one and done, hoping to get my tubes tied soon.
You are fundamentally wrong if you come from the mind set that "mom" means parent and "dad" means "stress free dude".
You've been taught wrong entirely.
Children should stay in a child's place
What worries me is that you could literally destroy your life and give everything to your child or children and they turn out as a drug addict. Now yes I have sympathy for mentally ill but after growing up in a house with heroin addicts I HATE them and consider anyone in that state to be dead. The person you knew is dead and theres no coming back from it. So the worry that I could destroy my life for a child that could die or become a drug addict or whatever else puts me off. So I will remain child free.
Sex isn't even worth it...
😂😂
The fact that she’s counting down until she’s 18 is so wrong…
Are you a parent? No, it's not wrong at all.
@@shawnlove4502 I don't need to be a parent to know.
@wut2heck You actually do. You've never raises someone for over 15 years. You can't understand the complexities.
I will never forget the day my mom took me to dq and sat me down in front of some icecream and straight up told me I was an adult now and she was free of me.
She didn't kick me out but her tone was dismissive. When I asked her how do I even find an apartment, pay taxes, etc, she was just like "I don't know, you figure it out."
Me: "Aren't you suppose to teach me this? Help me?"
My mom: "No, welcome to adulthood."
I got a lump in my throat and almost cried, I don't even think I finished the ice cream.
We went home and talked it out again and then I got into university, but still, I will never forget that day.
It's like my mom became a stranger and she was treating me like she didn't love me anymore.
@@specialtwice4975 This is sad. It would be different if she prepared you for adulthood. That was a shitty parent move. Do you still talk to her?
Love and Like are two different things
I disagree with these ladies children should be respectful they should not always have the right to ask why
Return on invest? I wouldn’t love that woman anymore if she would be my mom.
“Your lower vibrational self just wants to protect you.”
😂😂😂being a daughter is ruining my life…no joke my maker soo demanding of my Time
You asked for this. You choose to not abort, if not that you choose to keep it. If not that you choose to not abandon them.
Thank you Alicia! I agree!
@Alecia Reese are we twins?! I swear we have the same thoughts
i date and i date well she said and has 1 kid!! ya women are a trip on this planet !!!!!!!!
ya aliens are trippin
I love being a parent but i would enjoy it more if my husband make a greather input most men are so lazy when comming to child rearing thak god i could turn to him i onstantly has to ask him for strength patience an wisdom an control i see so much of me in my boys when i was their age an this helps me to be more understanding indaealing with them on a day to day bases
LMFAO chose that life and now complaining.
Oh wow sounds so hard omg so funny!!! Totally doesnt make my BLOOD BOIL. Look, you can chose to be a mother or not, but please don't complain about a blessing.
-someone who can't have kids and cries often over the loss of something they never had.
oh she dont need to be a parent at all
Most moms feel this way. Wake up. Ask a mom around you and see.
@@shawnlove4502 then y’all need to stop having kids asap
@ryanvason6818 Haven't you noticed that women are saying no to kids lol
.open your eyes
@@shawnlove4502 that’s good y’all don’t need them
@@ryanvason6818 Mad no one wants to be your baby momma🤔
Children should stay in a child’s place, and as a Teacher if I get the slick mouth, you’re getting suspended. Try again lady.
People need to know and understand that there is another whole different life.
It is found in the KINGDOM OF GOD, KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. Understand how you came here on earth and for what and why.
There is another realm and there is a WAY to get there.
Your lives will never be the same again.
Back when everyone had a family business there was some return on investment.
Live as a bust down, die as a bust down...
My oldest is almost 10 and I often think about being an empty nester but worry about having my future grandkids all the time. I wanna be done. 😅😅😅
Children should talk as a child should, saying your child has a "slick mouth" as a tween is wrong. Some single mothers talk to tweens as they are friends ..this lady is an example. If her mouth is slick now, she'll be wild at 14-15. I hope this lady gets help cause her mentality is very immature.
fr
Not necessarily. They might be wild at 14/15 because those arw the learning years. From just blurting out opinions, to a communicative steongly voiced adult, takes experimentation. The "wild" period is vital for the to learn how to navigate boundaries.
Right and then the next thing she knows her daughter becomes a teen mom
“Talking as children should” kids are humans and will say and feel the same as adults. There isn’t a specific way children are supposed to behave
I’m assuming that this woman isn’t married, because in my experience women who are married speak differently about their children.
If that’s the case I wish her well, because being a single parent is a tough job.
She is divorced. Thank you for watching!
Not always. I'm still happily married but hate childcare with a passion.
Lmfaoooo no married women hate their husbands bc they have more free time than them. These married women will lie to themselves and other people to sell themselves a dream. The struggle is the same.
I am married and know many married women who still hate motherhood.
@@offbeatblackgerl8360 Really? Perhaps I made an incorrect assumption. Thanks for sharing your experience and insight.
Omg stop whining
Read your bibles. Go back to Jesus! He paid the ultimate sacrifice for us. Life is supposed to be sacrifice. It’s not easy, don’t blame others for that though, turn to God for help.
Sacrificing for our SALVATION is different to giving up freedom, happiness, money, time and peace for the sake of having children that you don't want. The REALITY is not everyone wants children or even likes children.
@@racpatrice Damn straight 👍
I have finished reading fairytales.
My friend, there’s something deeply wrong if you think it’s okay to say you love Christ and he’s saved you but you don’t like children. They’re not compatible and that’s something between you and Jesus. But there’s no justification for it. Titus 2 shows us we’re to love our children and our husbands. Please stop spreading lies to vulnerable women who need help from Jesus instead of justification for sin.
@@Scary_Sarycan u help me plz. Why did God create Adam & Eve to begin with?
How can one say sometimes like that? This childfree trend is beyond disgusting. Tragic when someone can’t have babies due to medical reasons but not wanting is unnatural! Everyone wants to survive longer than lifespan via genetic
Stay mad 😅
I can understand your frustration, and as a stay home mom of 3 beautiful babies , who is planning to have more kids , I applaud women and men who decide not to
Have kids. I think having kids is a full responsibility and should only be done by individuals that can fufill that role , so I respect an individual that says I rather not , than to bring a beautiful baby into the world and the baby live a miserable life or worse.
Well clearly everyone don’t want that. Apparently many people also falsely believe parenthood is right for them
Some people don’t want children, and that’s okay. There are hundreds of thousands of children in America alone who have no parents, no one to advocate for them, nowhere to go for holidays, and child free people disgust you?
@@nessparadis6948 I agrée i am a mother as I said and love and can emotionally and financially take care of them so I have them but if you don’t want them , I support your choice infact I applaud you
Having lost 3 Child during pregnancy really ruined my Life…so what are you Talking about..Poor victims having children…my godness…
@@catleigh1540 stupid Antwerpen…
Stupid answer…you do not know what you are talking about…too much projecting I guess…
@@catleigh1540 yes, Right…your answer shows how mature you are…
Adopt some kids, so you can feel our struggles. People who can't have kids live in a fantasy what they think they are missing. Once you pass that cute infant stage, it's downhill you go rock-bottom.
@@Vision2life1 women who have lost one child or even several children do not live in a fantasy and they really know what they miss.. once you have passed that cute infant stage, you will appreciate your children…itˋs downhill you go rock-bottom…
I’m so glad I was smart enough to know this before having kids….go me 🎉